


Relentless Angel

by Koroshimasu



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Flirting, Bottom Cloud Strife, Crisis Core Sephiroth, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Developing Relationship, Dream Sex, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreamsharing, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Forbidden Love, Forced Bonding, Frottage, Gay Sex, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Intercrural Sex, Jealousy, Love/Hate, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Mind Games, Morally Ambiguous Character, Odd flashbacks, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, References to Advent Children, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sephiroth is a shit, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soul Marriage, Soul Sex, Teasing, Top Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Unhealthy Relationships, We love him this way, Wing Kink, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:09:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 324,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koroshimasu/pseuds/Koroshimasu
Summary: After Cloud refuses to aid Sephiroth in lending him his strength, the One Winged angel begins his own pursuit of the ex-SOLDIER. Perhaps he can convince Cloud to defy destiny with himself in other ways, whether Cloud likes it, or not.*Set after remake-my first Final Fantasy fic!* *EDIT: Marriage/forced bonding story*
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 859
Kudos: 1251





	1. Prologue

**Relentless Angel**

He thought he had a fair shot at winning, he really had. Was it a fleeting thought? A remnant of a broken, foolish dream? Perhaps he’d been far too confident after his friends and comrades had beaten the One Winged Angel…no…Demon! No matter how Cloud Strife viewed it, the tall, menacing entity that had plagued his life, soured his dreams, and tortured him painfully for many nights and days on end was nothing but a damn Demon in every right.

_Demons have wings, too._

As foolish and ignorant as all his youthful thoughts and assumptions once were, Cloud really felt he at least had a fair chance. He couldn’t ever foresee the damn monster getting in his way, now!

_I’ve beaten him before; I can do it again._

Of course, the battle had ended in a stalemate. The skirmish wasn’t to be won, apparently. Sephiroth was somehow much, _much_ stronger, faster, and far more cunning this time. No matter what type of attack Cloud threw his way, he blocked, countered, dodged, or avoided it in one effortless blow. It was as though he could somehow foresee and predict every damn thing the young blonde was going to do beforehand…but how? How was such a thing even possible? Surely Sephiroth couldn’t pull _that?_

Alas, he most certainly had, and did.

Their blades clinked and swished through the air over and over again. Cloud danced and flew about in circles around Sephiroth, aiming to confuse, but it was no good. Sephiroth gained the upper hand, and he gracefully shot Cloud’s Buster Sword clean out of his grasp and into the air. Sailing back many feet from its owner, it landed tip-first in the stale, rough patch of so-called ‘earth’ of the odd plane of existence they were both stuck in.

Cursing the damn beast of a man to the ends of the Earth and back numerous times, Cloud despised him even more in this moment, though not because he’d bested him in swordsmanship. He despised the One Winged beast because he would not leave him alone to enjoy whatever semblance of peace he felt he was owed. He hated this creature due to the demoralizing memories he forced into his mind, due to the sheer pain he felt anytime a dark feather floated down from the sky, and he hated Sephiroth for betraying them all.

For years, Cloud Strife had idolized the older male. He’d joined in the ranks and worked so hard to become a SOLDIER, and most of it had been because of Sephiroth. The long-haired male had been Cloud’s personal inspiration, and his powerful impetus for so many years. He’d wanted to _become_ Sephiroth, but the prominent figure had hardly given him the time of day at first. Now, whatever was left of Sephiroth couldn’t seem to leave him alone, nor would he actually perish.

Maybe this was hell…

The One Winged Angel warned him that he will not end, nor would he have Cloud end…

They’d exchanged a few terse words, and the oddity of a demon actually had the temerity to ask Cloud to give him his shining strength. Normally, Cloud would’ve tossed his head back and laughed upon hearing such a stupid request before running the individual who’d posed it through with his sword many times. But now, he found that was also improbable.

His right hand…it trembled, it shook, and he found it wasn’t entirely from fury and rage alone…no…as his eyes bore deeply into those green slits, Cloud Strife felt an odd _pull._ It had only lasted a few seconds, fleeting by before he knew what it even was. But it _had_ been there; that was the problem. He shouldn’t have showed hesitance or any sign of a vulnerability.

Terrifyingly enough, the silver-haired older warrior must’ve noticed it. No doubt, the way he’d glanced at Cloud, eyes narrowing in focus while a half-smirk toyed across his lips seemed to suggest that he knew very well what was going on. Seeing that triumphant smirk painted there, Cloud was already on the warpath to cut this infernal thing into a million pieces if it meant getting his message across.

_‘Whatever the hell you’re offering and hoping to accomplish, it won’t work, here.’_

_‘Cloud, lend me your strength; I’ll only ask once more.’_

Somehow, the disembodied voice of Sephiroth spoke to him one last time as the youthful fighter felt himself floating away from the plane of existence he’d been cast to in the first place. No, they weren’t through, yet, but somehow, Cloud had already deemed that this conversation was over. Whatever Sephiroth wanted to gain from him would never happen, and his stance on that wouldn’t ever change.

Scowling mightily, Cloud looked up at the vast blankness that surrounded and suffocated him thickly. Potently, he bit out with every bit of scorn he could muster, “Never, Sephiroth. You’re lost, and you’ll always remain lost.” Hoping he sounded convincing enough, Cloud turned away from the light, closing his eyes and shielding himself to all the blinding pain and excruciating misery.

There was always heaps of it, he found. He could never escape that, but at least now, he knew he had his friends supporting him. That had to count for something! What did Sephiroth have?

Nothing. He was weak. He truly was lost.

Keeping that in his mind as hope, Cloud focused all his thoughts instead on the lovely faces of Tifa Lockhart, his childhood friend, and Aerith. He couldn’t wait to see his friends again. Heck, he couldn’t even wait to hear Barret mocking him, even if it meant putting him down in his odd form of ‘jokes’. All of that was far better of an experience compared to spending one more second around the Angel from hell.

It was better to cast it away and enjoy whatever time and freedom he had left with his friends. Already, they’d lost far too much and had suffered through every ordeal imaginable. Concentrating on being rewarded with their friendly, warm greetings, Cloud felt all the pain, anger, resentment, and anguish melting away from his muscles and bones in no time. Like a fever dying away, softness and levity became his achievement.

Shifting, he felt that something at his back really was soft…

A voice-gentle and tender-soon hit his ears.

“Cloud! Is it over?”

Opening his Mako-infused eyes, the spiky-haired blonde inhaled sharply. The oxygen was crisp and cold, but it wasn’t fresh…surveying his surroundings, he found that he was in a room no larger than the one he’d always slept in right beside Tifa’s room. Was this Sector 7? But how could it be? It was…completely and utterly ruined!

Moving to sit up swiftly once his eyes caught the wreckage out the window next to the bed he was lying on, a sharp pain ran up and down his spine. Hissing, he held back, but then a small hand draped itself over his chest.

“Cloud! Lie down!” It was Tifa’s voice, which immediately made Cloud feel comfortable and safe.

Though his head was dizzy, his vision blurry, and his thoughts scrambled into mush, when he gazed to the right, he felt himself smiling as though it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Sitting near the side of his bed were Tifa, Aerith, and little Marlene. The young girl was seated in Tifa’s lap, rocking steadily while she whimpered. Her round, large eyes were filled to the brim with concern, but when Cloud stirred, she let out a small squeal.

“Cloud! Cloud! You’re alright!” Bouncing a few times in Tifa’s lap, she held onto the supportive, dark-haired woman.

Tifa let out a deep sigh of relief before hugging Marlene. “Cloud!” she joyously crowed out, “how’re you feeling?”

Raising a brow while Aerith dipped a cloth into a warm bowl of water and draped it over his forehead, the ex-SOLDIER bemoaned, “Like shi—oww!!”

Tifa smacked his arm gently, frowning and shaking her head back and forth in dismay. “Cloud! Watch your mouth when Marlene is here!!”

“Sorry,” he sighed, rolling his eyes while glancing out the window again. Cringing in both pain and turmoil, he happened upon witnessing many denizens of Sector 7 hurrying along to piece together whatever was left of their homes, their shops, their personal items…

Turning back to his friends, he sorrowfully moaned, “Is it that bad out there?”

Wrapping her arms tighter around little Marlene, Tifa and Aerith exchanged a few sad glances before turning to stare at the floor rather than at Cloud.

Point taken.

Groaning, Cloud tried reaching for the cloth in order to move it from his skin, but Aerith stopped him.

“You need rest, Cloud,” she advised wisely. “We all do, and it’s going to take some time before we get back on our feet!”

Hanging onto that as a sliver of hope, if any, Cloud protested, “But there _is_ hope, right?” He didn’t and couldn’t ever want to say it, but the words and phrase lingered in the air and was felt by everyone in the small room.

_‘He’s gone…we defeated him…’_

Scanning the world outside, Aerith wisely commented, “We’ll talk more once you’ve rested, Cloud. For now, focus on feeling right as rain!”

“Yeah!” Marlene chimed in, giggling while she slid off Tifa’s lap and began yanking on her long arm. “I wanna see daddy, now!!”

Abruptly, Tifa stood to her feet, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “Oh, o-okay, Marlene,” she awkwardly pushed out as she stared back over her shoulder at Aerith and Cloud, as though needing permission before she took the small child out of the room.

Meeting her eyes warmly, Aerith nodded kindly. Tifa waved farewell at Cloud and Aerith before running out the door closely behind Marlene.

Once they’d left, Aerith collected the bowl of water, gathering it in her arms as she turned to smile at a small vase of yellow flowers resting on a table next to Cloud. “I’ve kept the room fresh for you,” she stated as Cloud turned to eye the flowers.

Smiling back fondly, he nodded in gratitude. “Thanks for that; I missed those.”

“You’re welcome, Cloud!” Standing, now, she gently padded across the room, setting the bowl on the edge of a stool before a cracked mirror. Spinning around on her heel, she softly crooned to him, “I’ll leave you alone, now, but if there’s anything you need, you—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cloud sighed moodily, turning over to his side. “I’ll call for you, so don’t worry, and stop fussing over me.”

Not at all taken aback or offended, Aerith giggled as she saluted him. “Right, Sir Cloud!!”

“Ugh.”

Ignoring that silly joke, Cloud waited until she’d approached the door, where she then opened it ajar. She’d paused, but he didn’t need to meet her eyes or stare at her to notice that she truly was concerned for him. He could feel it.

“Goodnight, Cloud.”

“Night, Aerith.”

As she shut the door, Cloud turned over once more, missing the fact that beneath his pillow lay a single, black feather.


	2. The Joy Boutique

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get this out ASAP! Hope everyone enjoys! :)

The following morning, Cloud felt years better. His body had always healed relatively quickly, but thanks to Tifa’s genuine concern for his well-being, a new dash of Cure Materia combined with her magic did wonders. It all worked like a charm to eat away at his niggling pain, and after a hearty breakfast, Cloud was feeling brand-new.

Well…physically, anyway.

Emotionally and psychologically, he knew he was a damn mess, and it was all thanks to the ruins his new home lay in. As he sat at a large, round table in a dining hall with Barret, Marlene, Tifa, and Aerith, news broadcasts of the new President rang in their ears. Rufus Shinra…he sat in the elongated, large chair, replacing his elderly predecessor as though he’d been meant for sure an elated status all along. That coy grin paired with the way his soulless dark blue eyes seemed to stare right into Cloud’s soul.

He’d fought with this man, and he’d come so close to losing, too. If it weren’t for his willpower and tenacity, he’d be finished. Rufus Shinra was much more than what appearances led to believe…

Gripping his spoon tightly in a clenched fist, Cloud couldn’t help but snarl boisterously up at the blonde dressed in white, “Bastard!”

At once, Marlene let out a shocked gasp, and Barret growled. “HEY! Watch it, merc!” He bashed a hand against the surface of the table in a light warning.

Wincing, Cloud muttered apologetically, “Sorry…I hate that guy.”

Rolling her crimson—colored eyes, Tifa sniggered, “Who doesn’t, Cloud? The man’s going to run us all into the ground.”

While Barret nudged Marlene’s bowl of porridge closely beneath her nose, encouraging her not to play with her food, Cloud noted, “Not if I can help it.”

As it were, too many monsters lay in the dark, but this new kind, this day-walking scum, Cloud wanted to eradicate him off the surface of the planet, if given the opportunity.

Scoffing upon hearing this, Barret took off his dark sunglasses, throwing them onto the table next to his buttered toast. “Merc, open your eyes and take a look around you,” he began coldly, though it was meant more so to catch Cloud’s divided attention than to be callous and rude.

Swallowing nervously, Cloud took a peek down at his own form. From the neck down, he was dressed in his usual dark knit sweater and gear, but beneath it, he was tightly wrapped in a few layers of bandages and gauze. Barret seemed to know this, and he rose his voice as he shouted sternly, “The gravity of the situation is too much for you right now, Cloud! Think with your head, boy! Not with your damn fists!”

Gaping at him, Cloud argued in protest, “I _am_!!”

“No, you’re most certainly _not_.”

Glancing down next to himself, Cloud espied Red padding close to him. Sitting on his haunches, the animal sagaciously drawled, “True strength doesn’t lie in vengeance, in spite of what you may think. It’ll drain you faster out there if you apply it.”

Nodding in agreement, Tifa elbowed him as she sat herself beside him on a stool. “Red’s right, Cloud,” she pointed out smartly. “We should count ourselves lucky and focus on taking care of all our friends.”

Petulantly, Cloud sighed, “Whatever.”

Knowing this wasn’t an argument he could win, he turned back to his breakfast, but he found his meal to be too cold and too sour to consume, now. Why did it feel like everyone was against him, now? All he wanted was to fight for their cause and bust a hole in the menace that was the Shinra Government! Hadn’t that been what they’d all desired for??

As though seeking out the answer from his silent companions, Cloud soon realized he would never be able to locate that reply. Everyone was shut off and focused on other things, making it so that the fighting and planning had to be postponed.

 _‘Must’ve missed the new memo,’_ he mused to himself internally while Aerith skipped inside the kitchen, gleefully humming a serene tune as she carried a small basket. It was empty, but Cloud knew what she was going to ask of him the moment she sauntered up to him pleasantly.

Peeking up at her through his lashes, he wearily grunted, “Need my help?”

Blinking flirtatiously at him, the young brunette chuckled and spun around playfully. “I would!! We need all the herbs we can gather, Cloud!”

“Err, right,” he confirmed with a solid head nod. Though he didn’t want to spoil his day picking flowers, there was no way he could ever deny Aerith.

The table rattled, suddenly, and Cloud peeked over his shoulder at Barret. The burly man grumpily hissed out to him, “After you get that done, I’mma need your help countin’ our ammo, weapons-the ones that work-and what kinda materials we got laying around to rebuild all this from scratch!!”

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Cloud groused, “Lovely. Looks like there won’t ever be a dull moment around here.”

Giggling, both Aerith and Tifa leaned into him on either side of his body, nuzzling up to him like kittens ready to play. They were aiming to be funny and charming, but Cloud was in no mood for it. His stomach let out a tiny growl, and Red yawned.

“Better finish up,” the deep-voiced animal advised. “You’ll need your strength.”

Nodding, Cloud stared at his food ready to scarf the rest of it down, when Tifa cried out, “Oh! I’ve got some great news, Cloud!”

Eager to hear it, Cloud gave her all his attention.

Beaming brighter than the effulgent rays of the sun, Tifa sang out cheerfully, “Biggs is alright! We managed to find him among all the chaos and wreckage, but he’s okay!”

Cheering her on, Barret crowed, “Hell yeah! I knew that boy had some spunk left in him!”

Jaw dropping and eyebrows flying up close to his bangs, the blonde replied in awe, “He…he survived the—”

“Of course!” Aerith interrupted, not one for negativity. A faint, rosy glow began in her cheeks as she leaned closer to Cloud. “Did you doubt him? I didn’t!”

Awkwardly, Cloud bit out, “No! I just thought—”

What had he thought, indeed? The last time Cloud could remember without his skull feeling as though it would melt, and then implode, he was certain that Biggs had been killed when the upper plate of Sector 7 had been brought down. Through smoke and ash, Biggs had been reborn?

A rising phoenix…

“You can visit him in the afternoon if you like,” Tifa offered softly when Cloud had been silent for much too long. “He should be awake by then, and we should get some of the morning work out of the way by that time.” Standing swiftly, she brushed her dark skirt and stretched as much as she could.

“Hmm,” Cloud hummed to himself, picking at his breakfast for a moment until Barret laughed briskly.

“Somethin’ the matter, Cloud?” he taunted, though not in any cruel way.

Shaking his head, Cloud finally looked up. “No, it’s just that—” His untimely interruption arrived when from behind Barret, seated at the single, round table by a window happened to be Sephiroth.

Clear as day, the damn, infernal entity smirked, clearly self-satisfied as his mere presence reduced Cloud to a quivering mess. Arms draped in his lap, Sephiroth sat like a King on his throne. His infamous Masamune glimmered in the sunlight, the threat of what it was capable of lingering amid the glows and luminous rays of sunshine. It rested along the wooden surface of the table, dangerously close to Sephiroth’s reach. All it would require was a few measly seconds before…no!

Snarling dangerously, Cloud abandoned his weakness and raw fear. Leaping up to his feet, he thickly roared atop his lungs, “NO! I WON’T LET YOU HARM HIM, AGAIN!”

Grin eating up Sephiroth’s visage, as he stared intently at Cloud, time seemed to slow down. Perhaps Sephiroth was controlling it, perhaps he wasn’t. The young ex-SOLDIER couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter. In the blink of an eye, Sephiroth swiped his Masamune off the table. Holding it deftly, in one fell swoop, he dashed right up to Barret, movements faster than lightning. With a cold, deadly ‘shlink’, the cool metal of the deadly weapon sank deeply into Barret’s flesh.

“NOOOOO!”

“CLOUD!!”

All at once, with the re-lived memories and torment of witnessing Sephiroth impaling Barret yet again cruelly, Cloud sprang forth. Diving at Barret with open arms, he landed on top of the other man, sending them both tumbling clumsily down to the floor. Marlene shrieked in fear for her father as she cried and wailed desperately.

Cloud expected for the Whispers to appear. Praying and hoping they could turn back time and prevent all this from occurring again, he wrapped Barret protectively in his arms as he glared up at Sephiroth. The tall creature loomed over him, smirking icily.

He was enjoying this…

“Sick bastard!” Cloud screamed potently, “I’ll end you once and for all!!”

He got up again with the promise of torture and interminable murder channeling through his eyes and veins, only to feel something slamming down into his skull. It hurt, and the pain exploded all the way from the back of his head down to his tailbone in massive bolts.

Blinking, Cloud soon realized that he was sprawled weakly on the floor. His stool crashed down next to himself, and as he glared up, thinking Sephiroth had attacked him, he let out a shocked noise once he saw that it was Tifa leaning over him, instead.

“What??”

The dark-haired woman scowled angrily at him, her gloved fists clenched while she took a defensive stance. Chest puffed out aggressively, she snapped mordantly, “Cloud Strife! What’s gotten into you, huh??”

Once his vision cleared, Cloud looked back towards the window where he’d seen Sephiroth. The One Winged Angel was nowhere in sight. The same round table sat close to the stained window, but it was vacant. In fact, even the area surrounding it had been undisturbed, as though not a soul had wandered over to it in days.

Oh no…

Red growled as Cloud rolled over, inching up on his knees. Cradling the back of his skull, Cloud saw candescent stars due to the immense pain shooting across his cranium.

“You hit me, Tifa,” he groaned, sitting up enough to eye Barret and Marlene. They both scowled at him as well, with Barret placing his left hand down on his hip, while his armed gun-hand pointed at the floor.

“Cloud, have you lost your damn mind?” The dark-skinned man asked the question everyone dining with Cloud that morning seemed to hold in their minds.

As Cloud looked at all his friends, he couldn’t help but feel absolutely crazy due to the way he’d acted. _‘They probably think I’m insane, and I can’t say I blame them for it.’_

Knowing how bizarre this all looked, he got back on his feet, though he couldn’t help but feel offended when Tifa kept her defensive position. She was guarded, but so was Aerith. The brown-haired woman chewed her lower lip, eyes round and fearful of what Cloud would do next. Red had drawn out his sharp claws, deadly fangs poking out from beneath his lips as his tail swished back and forth in a small warning.

Feeling completely mortified, Cloud knew his face was burning up in response. Holding his head down submissively, he whispered, “I’m…I’m s—sorry, Barret…I just thought I saw him again.”

Anger faltering for a moment, Barret inquired shortly, “You thought you saw who?”

Staring back and forth between all his friends and the vacant seat, Cloud almost expected for Sephiroth to appear again. Of course, no such thing happened, and his wish wasn’t granted. He knew how crazy he was starting to look by the minute, and he clutched at his left temple while trembling in fury.

“I th-thought I s-saw Sephiroth,” he admitted, flinching back upon witnessing how Marlene hid behind her large father.

Peeking around him at Cloud, she cried, “Daddy, he’s scaring me!”

Protective nature revving up, Barret rounded on Cloud viciously. “You jerk! Stop scarin’ my daughter!”

Holding up his hands in surrender, Cloud argued back, “I didn’t mean to!”

“Sure you did!”

Tifa leapt forward to Cloud’s defense as she wailed, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves!”

Planting herself between them all before they broke out into an argument, the voice of reason that was Aerith shouted, “Everyone! Calm down, before we do something we will only end up regretting!!”

Standing down, Barret backed off Cloud, and Tifa’s expression softened. They inhaled and exhaled deeply and sharply, steadying their racing hearts as fire pooled in the center of Cloud’s palms. He hadn’t thought of using magic since his injury, but now that Sephiroth was back and clearly intent on making a fool out of him, summoning the flames came to him as naturally as sleeping and eating did.

Calmly, Aerith approached Cloud, resting her small, dainty hands over his. Her comforting touch soothed him, putting out the deadly, destructive flames immediately. Cloud gasped as he stared at the floor, a repentant expression painting the way over his handsome features.

Blinking hard, he was thrown off course as he sighed forlornly, “I’m sorry, guys. I just don’t feel well.”

With a plaintive nod, Barret snapped acerbically, “Uh huh, that much is obvious, merc.”

“Hush, you!” Aerith scolded him, wrapped her arms about Cloud’s trembling frame. “He’s been through enough, so can we all just be nice to each other, please?”

Like a prescient sign sent from the heavens, Cloud relaxed in Aerith’s arms. She felt so soft, so familiar, so motherly. He knew peace when he was with her, but there was no way he could find his voice to offer her thanks and words of sheer gratitude right now. His throat was sore, and he’d lost his strength.

As though sensing it, Aerith tried guiding Cloud back to the table so he could eat, but there was no point, now. His appetite was gone.

Rejecting the food politely so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings, he only smiled as he stated, “It’s fine, Aerith. I gotta get going, anyway.”

Stroking his chin deep in thought, Barret commented, “Perhaps you oughta stay in bed all day, Cloud. You know, since you ain’t lookin’ so good?”

“No,” Cloud refused bluntly. “Staying in bed all day is what will make me worse.” Turning to Tifa and Aerith, he pleaded, “Let me do something to take my mind off all this, okay?”

Wielding enough foresight to determine his true woes, a prevoyant Aerith elucidated smoothly, “Cloud, Sephiroth’s gone. You don’t need to worry about him anymore.”

Tifa’s warm hands massaged his aching shoulders, and she added in, “Aerith’s right, Cloud. It’s okay to be experiencing some leftover trauma, but Sephiroth’s defeated! There’s no way he could come back!”

Gathering his weeping daughter into his large, strong arms, Barret exited the kitchen and dining room, heading outside. Red followed, next, but before he slunk off, he supplied to Cloud, “Take all the time you need, Cloud, but living in the past is forbidden, you know.”

Blinking away from the harshness of the sun streaming through the open doors, Cloud sighed weakly as he regarded Tifa and Aerith. “I suppose you’re right,” he began lightly, “but I can’t get over all this in one night.”

“No one expects you to, Cloud,” Aerith stated soothly while Tifa collected whatever items they needed for their journey. She hurried along, moving on next to clear the breakfast table while Aerith hugged Cloud again. “Everything will be okay, Cloud!” Aerith chuckled fondly, her earthy, natural perfumes seeping into Cloud’s flared nostrils.

Immediately, a sense of calm had been brought to Cloud, and he clutched at Aerith, returning her close embrace for a few seconds before wriggling out of her grip. Straightening himself, he brushed a few of his fallen bangs from his eyes, and he cleared his throat.

“You’re right.” He nodded at Aerith, and then at Tifa. “Let’s go.”

Both young women seemed more than thrilled to do just that. They each looped an arm around one of Cloud’s, standing on either side of his body as they skipped outside merrily.

Cloud only wished he could share in their happiness.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Basking in the sun after having spent nearly two hours gathering and collecting medicinal herbs for anyone injured was a grueling task. Yet, Cloud completed it, barely pausing for some water as he then took to aiding Barret and Red in locating and saving any survivor citizens. The unfortunate victims had fallen and been trapped under debris and dirt, but thankfully, no one had suffered a significant loss. By the time Cloud had pulled them out safely, Aerith’s curing medicine had been ready for use.

She passed it along to those who were in a more serious condition, first, while Tifa entertained and distracted the children of the surviving parents. She played a few games with them, sang ebullient songs, and offered them beverages as Aerith healed everyone she could.

The sun rose higher and higher across the expansive sky, and as it beamed heavily down on Cloud, the young man felt exhaustion for the first time that day. He needed a break.

Nodding quickly at Tifa, he then gestured over at a small lemonade stand she’d set up for the kids, indicating to her that he would be right back. She nodded back before turning her attention to the needy children.

Ignoring the annoying amount of sweat pooling and sliding down from the back of his neck to the end of his spine, Cloud poured himself a fresh, cool glass of lemonade. An algid breeze blew by, causing him to shiver as his clothes stuck to his feverish skin. Not a good contrast!

Downing his beverage quickly, Cloud took a moment to study the new environment everyone had been unfortunately thrown into. Although bits of green grass were lucky enough to still be growing, there was no way to deny and ignore the putrid damage the rest of Sector 7 suffered. Majority of the foliage and vegetation had been burnt and singed to a crisp. Large, gaping holes in the earth due to fallen buildings remained. Dust and debris floated around the more destroyed areas, and very soon, Cloud was certain Tifa would offer to create masks for the elderly.

The air was stuffy, and ashes fell occasionally from the ruined homes and buildings above. Garbage, clothes, burnt sheets, items, and bedding billowed and churned about whenever the wind picked up. It was a true mess, and Cloud had no idea how they were going to work past this. By his estimates, it would likely take a few months, at the very least.

_‘Gaia help us…help us all…’_

Suddenly, a large shadow flew above in the cerulean sky, drowning out the jovial light. Cloud glanced up, wondering if anyone else had noticed it. Alas, everyone else around him continued working, not at all aware of what had just occurred.

“Cloud?”

Drawn back down to Earth, he met Tifa’s confused stare. She waved at him, and he waved back, just to let her know he’d be right back.

“Just a minute, Tifa,” Cloud called out to her when the wind picked up, as though somehow pushing him away from his friends and ushering him around the winding alleys.

In a jiffy, Cloud felt a potent, cold gust of wind above his ears.

‘Woosh’.

It was rather strong, almost as if a large avian creature had flown through the sky…

Wondering if it was dangerous, Cloud chased it, the nagging feeling in his gut never dying down. Picking up the pace, his boots stomped continuously through the dirt, kicking up patches of burnt grass along the way. He had no clear path, no distinct route to follow. Occasionally, as he ran through the nooks and crannies, he felt the shadows looming above himself, and he knew he was heading in the right direction. Whatever was here, it was clearly calling out to him in the hopes that he would follow…

His lungs burned and expanded in his sternum, but there was no way he could stop, now. He needed and wanted to find it! He sensed that they were all in danger!

_‘Gotta find it, gotta find it somehow!’_

Knowing he was soon to reach a dead-end, Cloud made a sharp right turn, and he abruptly ceased running when he trained his gaze up. He couldn’t even take another step. Glancing steadily, he shielded his eyes by holding an arm up across his forehead, and he squinted high above on the roof of an old tavern. As the sun shone brighter than ever, a dark figure stood before him. The ominous presence grinned a feral grin that was unmistakable…

“Sephiroth,” Cloud breathed in a rasp, “what the hell do you want?”

Loftiness and arrogance pooled around the darkly clad warrior, and when the wind blew, his long mane of silver hair flowed beautifully. Clutching his Masamune in his left hand, Sephiroth’s eyes danced up and down Cloud’s form. It created within the younger male a sense of great dread.

Reaching back, Cloud habitually and instinctively made a move to grab his Buster Sword, when his fingers slipped through air. Mentally, he cursed himself for leaving his weapon back in his cabin. How could he be so blind??

Haughtily, Sephiroth smiled down at him, and Cloud hated him more for it.

“Are you really here?” the blonde inquired sharply, knowing he would not likely get a reply either way. If he had to wager, he was certain Sephiroth’s only aim here was to toy with him and break him down, just as he had been doing for weeks, now.

Extending his arms, Cloud bellowed, “You can’t do anything. You can’t even speak!” Stomping a foot down, he aggressively continued. “Running and hiding in the shadows of my memories will only ensure your defeat, Sephiroth. You’re nothing but—”

“I’ll _never_ be a part of your memories, Cloud.”

….

The creature had spoken to him again in his tenor-like voice that was more soothing than menacing. The deranged, sinister gleam in the center of those serpentine eyes that followed did nothing but pain and torture Cloud.

Sputtering pathetically, Cloud drawled, “What’re you talking about? I…it’s done…”

Wasn’t it??

Eyes twinkling sadistically, Sephiroth murmured, “Perhaps to you, it was, but one way or another, I _will_ take what I need from you, Cloud. I gave you a chance to come to me, willingly, but you defied me.” His hair stilled, and so did the wind.

It suddenly occurred to Cloud that perhaps _this_ was why Sephiroth had been toying with him all along. Maybe his purpose here was to weaken Cloud’s resolve, make him look crazed before his trusted friends, so that in the end, he had nothing and no one to turn to…nowhere to go…nowhere but…

Nodding slowly, Sephiroth purred, “Yes. Maybe you will see, now…”

On the verge of exploding at the height of his hellish rage, Cloud searched the ground for anything, _anything_ to chuck at Sephiroth. Sadly, not even a small pebble could be found to accomplish the deed. Growling, Cloud spat with venom, “You coward! Show yourself to them all and stop playing with me!”

The moment he’d screamed this phrase out, at least fifty, phantom-like Whispers burst forth from the sky. They wormed their way around Sephiroth, gliding and moving in twisting motions. The wind picked up in both speed and power, but Cloud was determined to hold his ground. Shielding his eyes again, he grunted when two Whispers nudged him.

“Go away!” he shouted at them when they knocked into him, trying to push him down. “Leave me alone!”

Above, Sephiroth let out a deep rumble of a chuckle, and for some twisted reason, it caused Cloud’s rib cage to rattle. The feeling wasn’t entirely unwelcome. It didn’t ache or haunt him in the way he expected it to whenever Sephiroth had laughed at him in the past. No, this was somehow…different…

“DAMN YOU! MONSTER!!”

As the wind howled mightily like a caged beast now free, Sephiroth’s form had been engulfed and encased by the Whispers. Cloud was unable to see him, but he still fought closer and closer to the steps leading up to the porch of the tavern. The Whispers-as always-had been tough to get through. Fighting relentlessly, Cloud pursued, moving forward diligently. He would only stop once Sephiroth’s head was mounted on his damn wall!

Focusing his feet to push through, he clutched at the handrail of the porch, and with his free hand, he reached up before himself.

“Where…are…you?”

….

The wind nearly plowed into him, and as the last of the ghastly Whispers floated up, in their place, Cloud saw another dark figure floating down from the sky. Like Cloud, he wore dark clothes, was armed, and was only a few inches taller, at the most.

But this wasn’t Sephiroth…no, this was…

Dear gods…he recognized this young man! That messy mop of black hair…that scarred skin…

“Zack!”


	3. Forget Me Not

“Everyone, move, move!! I SAID MOVE!!!” Barret raised his right arm, firing off at least four warning shots randomly at the sky outside the medical cabins. The blasts of the emitted shots were successful in rendering many frightened and rowdy denizens of Sector 7 utterly speechless. There was a fraught silence, but as stunned as they were, it all paled in comparison to how stunned Cloud Strife was.

He insisted on carrying his fallen friend over his back and shoulders all the way to the medical units, regardless of how many denizens offered their assistance. The moment he’d pulled Zack out into crowded areas, a few people recognized him immediately. Soon, a horde of questions, and a barrage of onlookers surrounded Cloud. People pushed and shoved him around, and it didn’t make his journey easy. Thankfully, Barret-as unrefined as he still was in Cloud’s opinion-sprang to action.

Once he’d warded everyone off, along with Red, he ensured that people stayed away as Cloud entered the medical cabin. Tifa helped the warrior placed Zack on a twin bed, making sure he was comfortable before she examined him.

“Cloud!” Tifa instructed sharply, “I need you to get me new towels and fresh clothes, now!!”

Gaping like a fish out of water, Cloud slowly spun on his heel and retrieved the items. Handing them to Tifa, no traces of calm reached him as he studied Zack’s face. The young man was shaking, muttering something in his unconscious state. Rapidly, his eyes moved behind tightly shut eyelids. If anything, it appeared he was suffering through the worst nightmare.

Gently taking off his armor, Tifa let out a strained cry once she saw how profusely he was bleeding. Wincing, she asked Cloud, “Where did you find him?!”

Somehow, in the midst of all the abrupt, depraved madness, Cloud located his voice again. That hadn’t been stripped away from him, so it seemed. Weakly, he could only spout, “I…h-he was just…there!”

One of Tifa’s thin eyebrows quirked, and a disgruntled expression appeared on her face. Cloud couldn’t blame or fault her at all for her reaction. If he had been on the receiving end of such a response, he too would’ve likely doubted the person stating such an odd thing. But what was he supposed to say, truly?

‘Hey Tifa, I found him after I had a little chat with our archenemy, Sephiroth?’

‘Hey Tifa, as frightening as all this is, I wanted to let you know that Sephiroth appeared before me, and as insane as I know it is, he somehow delivered Zack to us?’

No. There wasn’t a way he could formulate the truthful and most accurate response. She would likely consider him insane, dangerous, or who knew what else.

As he’d stood there wasting enough time, a high-strung Tifa snapped mordantly, “Cloud! MOVE!!”

Knowing he had to get a move on, Cloud quickly broke out of his brief reverie. He hardly took a step towards the door before he rammed into Aerith. The young woman held her hands up to clamp over her mouth, and tears streamed freely from her eyes. As they rolled down her cheeks, she let out a broken sob, heading straight for the bed.

“Zack!!”

Following her, Cloud shouted for her to hang back and wait, but she refused to listen.

Pink ribbon flowing as much as her white dress did in the light wind seeping in through the open windows, Aerith threw herself on her knees, clutching at the edge of the mattress. Weeping louder and louder by the minute, she gently held onto Zack’s left shoulder, her tiny fingers kneading his flesh while she buried the tip of her slender nose in his dark, spiky hair.

“Zack! D-don’t you r-remember?” Trembling like a small leaf in the middle of a harsh storm, Aerith ran a hand through Zack’s hair as she sang sadly, “I have twenty-three tiny wishes, but you probably won’t remember them all, so I put them all together into one...I’d like to spend more time with you…my dear Zack…”

Over and over, her petrified sobs and wails slammed into Cloud’s ears. He had to cover them, and as he did his best to shield away from the pain he vicariously felt through Aerith, Tifa strode over to him. Yanking on his arm strongly, the pollent woman ushered him right out the door.

“Wh-where are we going?!” Cloud managed to push out at the same time Tifa hurried along to the next medical cabin.

Pointing at the door sharply, Tifa announced vehemently, “We need to give Aerith some time.”

Breaking away from her at once, Cloud growled, “No. What do you know that I don’t, Tifa?”

Putting two and two together had been relatively quick and easy for Cloud. He’d seen how friendly and close the young women were. Almost like sisters, their bond had strengthened and deepened daily to the point where sometimes, Aerith and Tifa were hardly ever seen apart. With that reinforced connection, Cloud was certain that they’d discussed more private aspects of their lives, and he had a strong hunch that Zack had a lot to do with it.

All the signs were there, too. The way Aerith had automatically broken down upon seeing him for a second, the way Tifa had gripped Cloud’s arm, escorting him sternly away from the cabin, and the way she looked so assured of something. The symbols had to be discerned, and Cloud refused to give up until he had some answers.

Crossing his muscular arms over his chest, Cloud remained defiant and still as a rock planted into the ground firmly. Tifa tried pushing so he would move, but no matter how much of an effort the importunate young woman put into it, Cloud wouldn’t dare budge.

Tossing her a knowing look, Cloud hissed, “I’m waiting, Tifa. Don’t try and hide anything, either. You know very well of my history with Zack, but I need to know about Aerith’s history with him.”

Huffing, Tifa placed both hands on her hips as she shrugged plainly.

“Not good enough, Tifa,” Cloud admonished with a snarl. “Talk. Now.”

Blowing tufts of her bangs out of her face, Tifa shrugged again, though this time, it’d been meant to push her hair to one side. Licking her pink lower lip, she let a small sound of annoyance escape her throat before she relented.

“Alright, fine!” Lowering her voice, she answered in his ear, “Zack’s the first guy Aerith ever loved, Cloud. He means a lot to her, and she means the world to him.”

Taken aback by this confession, Cloud pieced the new information together to the same night he’d had a ‘date’ with Aerith in the lonely playground in the slums of Sector 6. Her words rang true, now, and he could hear her soft voice whisper out to him as her eyes glowed luminously like the full moon.

So _Zack Fair_ had been the boy she’d fallen in love with? All this time…how could it be that she’d never given him his name? Zack was Cloud’s closest friend back when they were both at the Shinra Electric Power Company. The first-class ranking SOLDIER had been someone Cloud admired as much as he’d grown to admire Sephiroth. However, in comparison to the narcissistic, elite man, Zack was more down to earth, easier to relate to, and Cloud had a fun time chatting with him.

The memories were so far apart, yet so close to him, now. Knowing that Zack was the connection all along between himself and Aerith nearly sent Cloud reeling and swooning to the ground. His heart throbbed in his chest and his blood pounded in his ears. Afraid he was going to pass out, he could hardly keep his balance before slumping against Tifa.

Holding him carefully, the young woman comforted him softly. “Woah, steady there, Cloud!” Pushing him back on his feet, she leaned into him as she commented, “I know it’s a lot to take in at once.”

“No kidding,” Cloud threw back, aligning himself against the wall close to the door. Peering at it for a moment, he inhaled sharply, grateful that the smothering feeling had dissipated. He wasn’t choking; this was just a reaction to all the heavy sadness and lingering depression he’d faced after he’d assumed Zack had been dead all this time.

Though he had a million questions still regarding that, now was the least opportune moment to ask them. Even Tifa-as powerful and supportive as she was-couldn’t be a counselor to them all forever. She deserved a break, and Cloud knew he had other matters to attend to for the time being. Otherwise, why would she bring him, here?

Tapping on the wooden door of the cabin, Cloud grunted, “Let’s move on for now, but we’re _not_ done talking.”

“Okay!” Tifa pushed her way inside, and as Cloud followed hotly on her trail, she soon drew back a few curtains surrounding the only occupied bed. When Cloud studied the individual there, his breath hitched in his throat.

“Biggs…”

The young, raven-haired man grunted weakly, eyelids barely fluttering open. Skin jaundiced and bruised in many areas, he had deep, prominent bags under his eyes. To Cloud’s eyes, he’d even lost some weight. He had no stamina left, but he persisted long enough to grit his teeth and hold out an arm from beneath his bed sheets. “Tifa…Cloud…” His husky, hoarse voice called out to them, and at once, both Cloud and Tifa rushed to his aid.

Momentarily abandoning all thoughts of Sephiroth and Zack, Cloud focused on Biggs. Clasping a hand over his, he whispered carefully, “Biggs! You’re alright! How a-are you feeling?” He hoped the question wasn’t going to be interpreted offensively, and thankfully, the injured man mere chuckled.

“I could b-be…better…Cloud…” Biggs broke out into a small coughing fit, but he composed himself the moment Tifa pressed a hand over his forehead. Though he broke out in a short shivering fit, Biggs’ algor seemed to die down when Tifa initiated physical contact with him.

Smiling gently, she stated, “Your fever is gone.”

“Oh?” Swallowing thickly, the dark-haired youth answered, “Th-that’s…the…l-least of…my…worries…”

Tifa handed him his classic red ribbon he always wore around his head, and he stared at it with a lopsided grin. It meant a lot to him, and Biggs sniffled as though on the verge of tears the longer he studied the item.

“I…d-did…good…”

Nodding, Tifa added, “We all did, Biggs. There are many survivors thanks to you, thanks to us!”

Holding onto one end of the ribbon while Tifa clutched the other end, Biggs’ eyes suddenly turned blank. Coughing once, he squinted at the ceiling as he asked them both, “Where are…Wedge…a-and…Jessie?”

At once, while a remorseful look birthed itself in Tifa’s crimson eyes, Cloud held his head down. There was just no way to voice to a recovering man with all his pride, hopes, and dreams that Wedge hadn’t made it, and neither had Jessie. What tongue from which man could utter such a remark? How would he be able to sleep at night, only to wake up the next morning with the gall to look Biggs in the eyes?

No. Cloud couldn’t do it, and he refused to.

Leaving it all to Tifa, Cloud nodded dejectedly at her. “You handle this, yeah?” He didn’t even wait to hear his friend’s answer; he bolted for the door.

Gasping after his untimely departure, Tifa hissed out for him, but Cloud wasn’t able to hear her…as soon as he’d approached the door, he saw bright green eyes gazing at him from the small window adjacent to the door, practically swallowing him whole with how intensely they were following him.

The moment Cloud’s Mako eyes caught onto the feral look, the figure that had been spying on them soon backed away. A moment later, wisps of silver hair blew past the window, almost like little fingers or claws reaching out for him.

Lips curling back in a silent snarl, Cloud only called out over his shoulder to Tifa, “I’ll be back later; something came up.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The cat and mouse game _had_ to come to an end. Cloud preferred for it to be sooner, but according to Sephiroth, ‘soon’ would never arrive. The moment Cloud had exited the medical cabin, Sephiroth led him down a few narrow paths into a thicket of woods not too far away from Aerith’s house in Sector 5. The dismal walk through the damage and poor state the Sectors remained in tugged at Cloud’s conscience, but there wasn’t much he could do in his current predicament.

Pausing in his tracks, Cloud felt disgust sweeping over himself once he recognized the thick, luscious vegetation winding around Aerith’s gardens. Though the late evening sky painted shades of orange, hues of gold, and brushes of pink, he couldn’t feel as comfortable in such a place as he once had anytime Aerith brought him to her home. What if someone caught them? It wasn’t that late; a lot of people were still milling about in the streets as Sephiroth led Cloud away, making sure they avoided the most crowded and most cloistered places.

Odd how he’d done that, at least, but now as they crossed the bridge and faced Aerith’s home, Cloud began panicking. What if Elmyra saw them??

….

 _‘Well, she’d see me, but not Sephiroth, probably.’_ Cleverly, Cloud had already caught onto the fact that Sephiroth was only capable of being seen by anyone he chose, evidently. No one else had noticed him, nor would they, no matter how much Cloud wanted it. Who knew whether Sephiroth was controlling that or not, but it was grating, to say the least.

As if somehow possessing the talent to read his mind, as the taller, older warrior proudly walked on, he stated plainly, “No one can see me; you needn’t worry.”

Cloud scowled as a reaction, but forced himself to keep his mouth shut so they could make it on the other side of the bridge. As soon as they stood openly in Aerith’s front garden, Sephiroth knelt before a few marigolds. Running his gloved hands through them, and then along some daisies, he smirked as he yanked one daisy up from the soil.

“Don’t!” Cloud cried in protest, but Sephiroth went ahead and did whatever he pleased, regardless. It was something Cloud knew he was going to have to grow accustomed to. Sephiroth was such an egomaniac. As always, he thought he could do as he pleased, whenever he pleased, however he pleased, and no one could ask questions about it.

Placing an index finger between his own lips, Sephiroth held onto the small flower as he rose to his full height. “Shh,” he hushed his ‘companion’. “This isn’t a conversation you want others happening upon, do you?”

Wanting to shoot down Sephiroth’s overconfident smirk, Cloud snapped moodily, “Maybe I do; maybe someone will understand enough to do something about you, after all.”

Scoffing, Sephiroth merely held the flower up against Cloud’s right ear. As the shorter male flinched back from it, Sephiroth paused while he supplied sarcastically, “I suppose the slums of Sector 7 could use more heretics and oddballs.” Delicately, almost, he tucked the flower behind Cloud’s ear, allowing it to nestle neatly between his spiky hair, but not to be drowned out by the various strands.

Frozen in shock, Cloud found he couldn’t believe that someone as lethal and deadly as Sephiroth had been capable of such gentle, tender actions…

….

NO!

Gritting his teeth and scolding himself for allowing his mind to take over in that type of a direction, Cloud ripped the flower from his hair and over his ear. Tossing it to the ground, he squashed it beneath his boot, sneering at Sephiroth when he was done.

How deplorable. The putid flower served as nothing more than a mere reminder to Cloud about his unfortunate ‘accident’ during his disgusting encounter with the equally nasty Don Corneo. Though he wasn’t wearing a dress or makeup this time around, Cloud truly felt reserved and angry with Sephiroth for his bold actions. Somehow, Sephiroth seemed to be targeting and channeling his methods of attacks and mockery with as much in the way of relatable pain to Cloud as he could.

Did he know about his plight during his time spent in Wall Market?

Wanting to test it out for himself, Cloud hurriedly quipped, “Do you think I would look good in a dress?”

The question had been meant to throw Sephiroth off, but it did the opposite, unfortunately. The silver-haired warrior beamed brightly, and he reached out with a hand to push a few of Cloud’s bangs out of his eyes.

“Don’t do that ever again!” Cloud threatened, creating enough distance between their bodies as he felt his skin scorching from the contact. “No matter how hard you try, I promise, your stupid tricks to make me feel small and weak won’t have an effect on me!” Hoping he was as confident on the outside as he felt on the inside about it, Cloud puffed out his chest, straightening himself to stand as tall as he could. Sadly, he knew that he would never measure up even remotely close to Sephiroth’s height.

The taller male cocked an eyebrow far too delicately as his lips sat in a straight line. He didn’t appear too impressed with how Cloud had thrown down the flower, and he didn’t withhold that information at all.

Taking a step closer to Cloud, Sephiroth sighed in boredom. “That was a gift, you know.” Eyes glinting a tad dangerously, he hissed acidly, “Do you treat all your gifts in such barbaric ways?” Turning away from Cloud, he faced the other side of the garden, and he was already making way for it.

Narrowly avoiding the windows of Aerith’s house, Cloud snuck past the kitchen, pausing long enough to peer in for a moment. Thankfully, it seemed like Elmyra was either not home, or someplace else far from the windows. Hoping that would remain the case, Cloud kept low while Sephiroth walked on ahead, hands clasped firmly behind his back. The ends of his long hair grazed well past his knuckles, and as they did, Cloud noticed something shocking.

“You didn’t bring your weapon,” he pointed out while Sephiroth approached a small hill of flowers. It seemed like so long ago that Cloud had met with Aerith here. Oh, how he wished she were here with him instead of Sephiroth. Her face was angelic; the truest form of angelic innocence and purity.

_‘Whatever happens, you can’t fall in love with me…’_

This was the very same place…the time of day was different, and instead of observing the green and blue lights dancing on display, now, Cloud had the orange, pink, and yellow rays. They too churned about in the sky, and as the gentle breeze kissed across his cheeks, he saw the stems of the flowers pushing in the same direction. Even the thick trees seemed to whisper their own cryptic secrets, and as Cloud stood closely behind Sephiroth on the hill facing Aerith’s home, nothing short of shame was to be recognized.

Much to Cloud’s chagrin, Sephiroth was just toying with him. He was only aiming to mock him, reduce him to his most cherished memories. It was truly daunting how instead of allowing them to bring him some sort of calm, levity, and elation, Sephiroth took away all that delight in the blink of an eye.

Dejectedly, Cloud murmured under his breath, “Why are you doing this to me? Why now?”

“Hmph,” Sephiroth scoffed, as though he couldn’t be bothered to answer. “Such pointless questions.” Hands slowly resting at his sides, he tilted his head at Cloud as he continued. “Are you starting to understand, Cloud?” Eyes searching Cloud’s for something deeper and far beyond whatever lay there, Sephiroth was the only being in the universe who was capable of rendering Cloud speechless and defenseless.

No words could he utter or spew, so he closed his mouth tightly shut and shook his head.

Nodding, Sephiroth concluded, “Second-Class SOLDIER Zack’s reappearance…it was fascinating, no?”

Well, it certainly _was_ , and there was no logical way to deny or dispute that. Though, whatever Sephiroth found ‘fascinating’ vastly differed from what Cloud Strife deemed ‘fascinating’. The blonde’s pyrexical anger shot up a few notches once he reviewed that at the back of his mind, but he didn’t dare say it.

“I’ve not come here looking for a fight,” Sephiroth stated pointedly, eyes finally shifting to stare at the sky. From a distance, it looked like he was enjoying the sights and lovely, scenic view. But to assume that was a foolish, errant move on anyone’s part. Cloud Strife knew better, and he backed away while glaring madly at Sephiroth’s turned back.

_‘If only I had a—’_

“A knife to plunge deeply into my back?” Sephiroth voiced aloud, causing Cloud to seize up.

“What—”

Spinning midway around, Sephiroth purred, “Your thoughts are telegraphed too much, Cloud. How do you think I was able to deflect each of your pathetic attacks?”

Anger soaring through his system the moment he heard how Sephiroth put him down, Cloud mordantly cried, “I challenge you then, Sephiroth! Maybe my mind wasn’t clear back then, but it sure as shit is, now!”

Eyes slightly widening, Sephiroth gently asked, “Is that your final wish, Cloud Strife?” Scoffing, he coldly added, “You won’t get the opportunity to change your mind later. Choose wisely.”

Not at all hesitating, Cloud spat, “I’m ready, asshole.” Proud of himself for taking a page out of Barret’s book, he stood his ground as Sephiroth approached him.

Slowly, Sephiroth extended an arm towards Cloud, and as he did, his single, dark-feathered wing protruded from his right shoulder blade magnificently. Cloud gazed at it, mesmerized for a moment, but that lasted a few seconds before Sephiroth’s fingers clutched at his arm.

“Hold on.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Honestly, he expected something far more regal than what he found. Sephiroth informed him of new ‘layouts’, almost akin to the Shinra Company Training rooms, but this…this was something the One Winged Angel had created for himself, apparently.

Once Sephiroth pushed open the large, dark doors, he led Cloud inside the gigantic open space. Rows of candles and wooden stands bearing loose sheets lined all sides of the room magnificently. They burned brightly, while high above in the rafters, hanging from large ropes were old bells.

Gazing up at them in awe, Cloud mused, “What’s this place?”

“The Astral Clocktower,” Sephiroth announced. It sounded fairly grand, but all that greeted the young blonde aside from the candles was a vast, open room with many of the floorboards torn up or misaligned. On the far side of the expanse, Sephiroth sat in a high back chair at the base of a short staircase.

Eyeing him oddly, Cloud looked around for a weapon, when suddenly, Sephiroth chuckled warmly. “You’ve come prepared, Cloud.”

A heavy weight on his back was more than a familiar greeting he desperately needed. Touching the weapon, he recognized it as the Buster Sword. Sighing in pure relief, Cloud brandished his sword, expecting the figure of the man he despised the most to rise from his seat and procure a weapon of his own. As it so happened, the Masamune was nowhere in sight…

Much to his surprise, nothing happened; Sephiroth did not so much as stir, though surely, he’d been relishing in the view that was Cloud holding his weapon strongly. Cautiously, the blonde waited, but Sephiroth merely crossed a leg over the other.

Sitting tall, he beckoned Cloud with a finger. “Come here.”

Though annoyed to the last nerve, Cloud approached the seat. As he drew nearer, along the wall behind Sephiroth, the silhouette of his large wing had been cast. Though the damn thing wasn’t out, its mere shadow along the wall was enough to send chills coursing up and down Cloud’s spine. Something did not seem right, however—even beyond Cloud’s indifference to his enemy’s presence. A wide pool of old congealed blood spread across the dusty floorboards beneath the chair, and a long, running smear of crimson stained Sephiroth’s long garb below the hips. At once, Cloud noticed Sephiroth was bleeding in multiple places…

The semi-brave ex-SOLDIER moved even closer, bending forward towards Sephiroth. Upon closer inspection, the skilled warrior appeared to be dead. Odd. Cloud could not find an obvious wound anywhere on Sephiroth’s form as one might expect from the blood on his clothes dripping downward. He reached out towards Sephiroth; not intending to check for a pulse, but to…he truly didn’t know what he was doing. Instincts guided him, and for once in his life, Cloud hated himself for being impulsive.

Suddenly, Sephiroth lunged forward and snatched his hand by the wrist with speed that caught even the experienced ex-SOLDIER off guard. With vile deceit brewing past his eyes, Sephiroth pulled him Cloud towards himself with surprising strength. Faces mere inches apart, Sephiroth leaned forward in his chair until they were practically face to face. His smoky green eyes burrowed into Cloud’s as if he could see them through the ornate faceplate of his Shinra guard helm.

Shrieking back in fear, Cloud wondered how the helmet had gotten onto his face to begin with. Struggling to work the helmet off himself, Cloud once again found himself jostled. The moment Sephiroth had touched him, the memories slammed back potently into him. All the telltale signs of blood drunkenness and vengeance consistently presented themselves in the One Winged Angel’s eyes as they always had. He was everywhere, suddenly, Masamune slicing and singing through the air as Cloud tried leaping out of the way. He never could, though. Not even through his own measured, angry bloodshot streaks, not even through his own discolored pupils shining forth with hatred, and not even with the help of all the glorious Materia churning and swimming about in the blackened veins of his weapon.

“I didn’t give you permission to begin,” Sephiroth chided gently. Slowly, he released Cloud’s hand, allowing his gloved fingers glide along the youth’s gauntlet as he did so. Eager to push off the helmet that limited so much of his view, Cloud leapt back from Sephiroth as soon as he was clear.

Hands flying up to his head, however, he was thrown off yet again when he found no helmet even there. Throwing his head back, Cloud roared, “Stop playing with me!!” Readying his sword and items for the fight, he felt quite alert, waiting to thwart off anything else Sephiroth wished to throw at him.

Eerily, Sephiroth only observed him from where he sat, and Cloud never understood why he wasn’t attacking. Someone as highly skilled as Sephiroth could have easily gutted him from nave to his chops; why let him go?

Eyebrows sternly set on his brow, Sephiroth rose easily from his chair and reached up above himself. His Masamune flew down from the darkness of the rafters, almost like a godsent gift. Gripping the weapon with a confident sort of calm, it stirred a nettlesome unease in the hot-tempered blonde that he’d not felt in a long time. He tightened his grip on his Buster sword and settled into a battle-ready stance.

Shaking his head softly as he approached with measured steps, Sephiroth wagged an index finger at Cloud, clearly scolding him for something. “No cheating, Cloud,” he began in a smooth voice. “I allowed you to amuse yourself with inept displays during combat, before, but this time, it’ll be different. You’re not to use magic, you’re not to heal, and you won’t dare feel courageous enough to summon in my presence. These are the conditions.”

As Sephiroth ended his speech, Cloud felt his mouth go dry. The presence of this oddity of a man was infinitely more intimidating than he could have ever imagined.

A draft swept through the clocktower, and the long trench coat Sephiroth usually donned billowed around his form. As mighty as Cloud thought himself to be, he knew he was no match for Sephiroth. The older man was built to be far stronger in every way. The wind plucked a lone feather from the invisible dark wing Cloud wasn’t able to see for the moment, and drew it up in front of his face, floating in suspense for but a moment before being carried away. Stony resolve hardened in his chest; was he not a first-class SOLDIER, once? Did he not pledge himself to ending the plagues and nightmares Shinra set upon its people? Was he not fighting for a noble cause?

Glancing down at himself, Cloud deemed that he most certainly was. His was the true vestige of the man who’d killed so many who opposed him and provided irrefutable evidence that he reigned atop the food chain. Grief strummed a chord on his heartstrings and Cloud remembered his rage—the fire that drove him to kill the bloody One Winged Angel once, so long ago. He made a vow that with the same fire that this monster had set on Nibelheim, he would surely see Sephiroth to his final death.

“Sephiroth, I agree to your terms,” Cloud promised, steadying his weapon as he tossed aside his few pouches containing his consumable items. “The time has come for the secrets of the Shinra Government to die, and you with them,” he announced, pointing the tip of his sword toward his nemesis and meeting his gaze with as much impudence as Sephiroth was sending out.

“If only such things were so easy to put to rest,” the silver-haired male mused.

It was right then that Cloud felt something akin to a bolt of lightning striking through his skeletal system, snapping his bones, and then coursing through his tense muscles. He thought for the briefest moment that he detected a note of sadness in Sephiroth’s voice…

He had to have been hearing things, surely.

Clenching his jaw, Cloud roared, “Enough talking!! Let’s fight!”

At once, he snapped his sword up and fired away at Sephiroth. Faster than the human eye could comprehend, Sephiroth juked to the right with such speed that he was able to close the distance between them in a few short steps. Before Cloud could even register that his aim was improperly directed, Sephiroth swiped at him with the sharp Masamune. Promising himself that he wouldn’t rush this, Cloud had just enough time to turn so that his Buster sword’s handle took the blow instead. Cleverly, he’d flipped it around in midair, which had blocked the deathblow Sephiroth had thrown at him.

Grinning a toothy grin, Sephiroth noted, “Impressive.”

He then countered with a swipe of his own blade, but Cloud knew these tricks too well. He blocked and challenged each and every single one with one of his own, throwing all his strength and rage at Sephiroth. Unfortunately, Sephiroth took to back stepping to avoid the cutting arc—and again when he chased his first strike with another.

In one fluid motion, a vicious Cloud Strife used the momentum of his second strike to carry the blade around for an easy slide through the air. His fingers nearly slipped, but his gloves tightened over the handle. Flipping the Buster sword onto one of its edges, he made sure to avoid the sharpest edge as he used it to bash ahead into Sephiroth’s jaw. The sword moved through the air when Sephiroth ducked, but Cloud managed to lock the blade in the shoulder pad of Sephiroth’s uniform. In triumph, Cloud twisted his body to bring the massive trick weapon around in a heavy overhead blow.

This forced Sephiroth back further this time, the heavy Buster sword smashing into the floor and splintering half a dozen floorboards with its weight. Back on his feet, Sephiroth appeared utterly unfazed by the potent move, but this only served to stoke the flames in Cloud’s belly.

When Cloud panted roughly, chest heaving in and out, up and down, Sephiroth merely shook his head in dismay. “You’re using too much of your strength and not gaining half of it back in rewards,” Sephiroth commented, circling him while a vitriolic Cloud removed his blade from the floorboards.

“There will be a price to pay for all that wasted energy.”

Glaring madly, Cloud snapped angrily, “I don’t need your advice, I don’t need your lectures, and I don’t need to listen to you.” Standing tall, he barked out, “Your membership with the Company, your loyalties, your friends; they’re all gone, Sephiroth. You have _nothing_!”

Studying his Masamune in sheer tedium, Sephiroth purred, “Tell me, Cloud, what are you by comparison, then?” The older man sounded genuinely curious and clearly unflapped by their duel and conversation.

Mentally, Cloud answered, _‘I’m pissed off, that’s what I am!’_

“I am the one who’s going to put an end to you,” he instead growled, righting his blade and turning to face his opponent once again.

“Hmm,” Sephiroth nodded slowly. “The instrument of destruction sent by Avalanche, brought to bear on SOLDIERs drunk with power or maddened by the words and lies of Shinra is challenging me.”

“Yes!” Cloud shrieked, “You are first on my list!”

He charged at his opponent, swinging wide with his massive weapon. As he charged, Sephiroth did very little to react. Instead, he moved his Masamune up, and he effectively blocked Cloud’s attack. Over and over again, the two men struggled in such a way. Oh, how the sparks flew with every sword clash. Oh, how Cloud’s weapon had heated up much more than Sephiroth’s because he was putting more force into his blows. Steam practically rose off Cloud’s head, but Sephiroth remained passive and nonplussed.

Enraged, as he thought his antagonist wasn’t regarding him seriously, Cloud began exerting far too much force and energy at once. As a result, he motions became sloppy, chopped, and poorly timed.

Noticing it, Sephiroth crooned, “Such beauty lies in the midst of battle.”

Stirred up, Cloud screamed from the bottom of his lungs, throat feeling as raw as fresh meat in a butcher’s shop. He was giving all he had, swinging violently, while Sephiroth was on straight defensive. Not at all attacking, he merely focused on evasion techniques, and quite soon, Cloud was exhausted. He faltered, and he was badly punished for it.

When he moved to deliver a charged attack, Cloud unfortunately did not escape the bite of his opponent’s steel this time. As he dashed ahead, Sephiroth pushed his sword down, and he delivered a wide gash splitting Cloud’s thigh and buckling his right knee in the process.

Cloud felt the blinding pain, but he didn’t want to give up, yet. Sephiroth let the momentum carry himself around in a twirl, and before the stunned, injured ex-SOLDIER could recover from his swing, Sephiroth swung his sword into the side of Cloud’s head. Stars exploded in his skull as the impact jostled his brain. Crying out in white-hot pain, Cloud stumbled to the side and twisted the other way with his Buster sword in an attempt to keep his attacker back. Sephiroth stomped the weapon into the floor by its flat side as it sailed past him in no time. Then, he followed up with a cut to Cloud’s underarm on the dominant side, the sharpened edge cutting deeply into the limb he used the most in battle.

Cloud dropped the Buster sword with a bloodcurdling howl of pain, but Sephiroth silenced the cry by closing the distance between them and running him through the stomach. Cruelly, the insatiable, raw bite of the Masamune slid through Cloud’s ribs and jutted out his back. Almost intimately, Sephiroth’s right arm came to circle Cloud’s waist, while with the left, he pressed the entire length of the Masamune into Cloud. Warmly, Sephiroth embraced the younger male with malapropos gentleness while he eased Cloud to the floor.

Gaping at him, Cloud pushed past the pain as he wheezed, “H-how?”

“Return to your comfortable bed, return to your ignorant friends, Cloud,” Sephiroth cooed. “I told you; now’s not the time. Return to where you belong, leave the secrets of this place well enough alone.” With a cold grin, Sephiroth withdrew the Masamune, and Cloud howled for minutes on end.

As he glanced down at his upper torso, he found he was dissolving away into soft white light, fading back through the cool air that had been summoned almost magically. It encased him, it wrapped around him, and it threw him deep down into a spiral. Cloud closed his eyes, holding his hands to his wound as he went sailing further and further into open space. Whatever this was, it was moving too quickly, and he was certain it would either burn or blind him.

Keeping his eyes shut, he missed how one large, black wing shot through the whiteness at him, and it wrapped around his frame. Cocooning him while he flew back down to the cold grounds of Sector 5, it protected Cloud by ensuring he had something soft to land on. Pressing him down onto the flowers atop the same hill in Aerith’s garden, the wing slowly eased away from Cloud the moment his back hit the softness of the flowers and soil.

Cloud’s Mako-eyes flew right open at once. The starry night sky met his gaze, bearing down on him as he shifted. Immediately, his hands moved to his wound, but as he felt around his sternum, he found to his shock that there was no injury to be discovered. His clothes were intact, but his sword was definitely gone.

Sitting up, Cloud made sure to check his surroundings for Sephiroth, but to his unmitigated relief, he found he was alone. What if it had never happened? What if he really _was_ losing all traces of his sanity?

Had he dreamt up battling his most despised nemesis? There was no evidence suggesting that such a thing had occurred, either way, unfortunately.

No blood, no harm, no death, no pain…

But it had all seemed so…real…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit long, but I love writing fight scenes!  
> Fun Facts: a) The Astral Clocktower is a boss room from the video game 'Bloodborne', and Sephiroth's multiple wounds implied the damage Cloud did to him when he beat him at the end of Advent Children. Cloud just hasn't experienced that, yet!


	4. A Debt of Life

Cloud glared down heatedly into the small babbling brook flowing down from Aerith’s home throughout the small forests scattered and surprisingly still intact after all these years in the slums of Sector 5. After being bested in combat again by Sephiroth, the younger male retreated deep into the woods, hoping to find a form of solace to shield him from his deleterious and ruinous thoughts. Solace, he did not find. Headaches, anger, and resentment, he did. Feeling nothing but true ignominy and astonishment due to losing, Cloud seethed even more.

There wasn’t much he could even do today, so it seemed. The moment he’d tried locating a place to practice his clearly out of shape skills, Tifa scolded him for wasting time chasing what she called ‘petty warrior battles’. 

With a tiny frown marring her features, she admonished, “Cloud! If you can’t help out, maybe you should take a break!” Inhaling speedily, she added politely, “Just don’t take your sword out all the time; it’s not something the kids-and many people-need to see right now.”

Although badly offended, Cloud obeyed her and abjured from any type of violence, even if for the sake of practice. Trying to help those he could proved to be a grueling task, however. He was distracted, and it revealed itself in his ‘sloppy’ work.

First, Cloud acted as Marle’s temporary assistant by helping her around Sector 7. Marle was placed in charge of passing around hot meals such as soup, porridge, stew, and tea around when the younger men were in dire need of rest after reshaping and remodeling majority of the damage to the buildings and infrastructure the plate drop caused. Their meals were ready for the taking during their rest periods, but Cloud’s mind began to wander when he handed out his sixth tray of soup and crackers. Memories flashed before his eyes without consent, just as they always had. In that very instance, as his skull burst and throbbed in blinding pain, he heard and saw Zack Fair laughing, teaching him how to fight, handing him the Buster Sword…

_‘Eyes infused with Mako energy. A SOLDIER trademark. Color of the sky, right?’_

Zack…his best friend…Aerith’s lover…

Marle screamed out at him, and her shrill voice scared the daylights out of Cloud. Accidentally, he dropped the tray, successfully spilling soup all over the ground.

“Atta boy, Cloud,” Marle sighed wearily as she pet his shoulder while her loyal dog came by to sniff and then slowly lick the meal up. “Looks like you did a mighty fine job feeding the grass and my dog, though. Thanks for wasting my soup, too.”

Knowing he was of very little help, here, Cloud wandered over to see whether Red and Barret would give him something to do. The two friends were cutting wood to rebuild homes and weapons, chatting happily with one another as their jovial tones soared among the busy areas. Barret was bent over a tree stump, hacking and chopping away, while Red gathered the blocks and stacks of wood in his jaws, moving them over to large piles he’d stacked neatly.

“Oh, Cloud!” the animal cried out in exuberance. “Glad to see you! My back’s getting a bit sore if you’re up for helping out, here.”

He sure was. What started off however as Cloud lying up the blocks of wood on top of each other soon turned into Cloud daydreaming yet again. Barret slowed down in his work to wipe some sweat off his brow at the same time Aerith fussed over him. Next, an ecstatic Marlene wanted to show off a new drawing she’d made to her father, and as the effervescent little girl skipped and hopped around her large father, Cloud heard voices again.

Ears ringing and skull burning, he squinted his eyes, gritted his teeth, and moaned in misery and pain.

_The darkness, the rain, the cold. It was all he could feel as he crawled over to the fallen Zack Fair. The first-class SOLDIER had showed so much promise. Truly, he was the man Cloud hoped he could one day be, and he’d worked so hard at emulating Zack’s actions. But now, his friend-his idol-he’d fallen from grace. Hanging on the last threads of his life, the first-class SOLDIER laying bleeding all over the place, a mixture of rainwater and coppery blood making the air smell so much more different. Cloud could hardly look him in the eyes…if he did, he knew he would break apart._

_“Both…of us…?”_

_“That’s right…” With labored breaths, Zack heaved, “You’re gonna…you’re gonna…”_

_Every time he spoke that way, Cloud felt his friend’s pain blending into his own. What was he to do?? He wasn’t nearly even a tenth as strong as Zack, and to see his best friend in such a way just tormented him to the ends of the Earth!_

_Reaching up for him, Zack draped a hand around the back of his head, pulling him in for a closer contact. Much of a brotherly bond had already been established, and Cloud leaned in._

_As his head pressed against Zack’s chest, he could very faintly feel the young man’s beating heart still there, though much slower than ever before in tempo._

_“…Live…”_

_The raindrops pelted down harder and harder, drowning out his own hot tears…_

Cloud slipped, and it was much too late. He nearly cleaved his own foot through his boot, had Red not leapt in his way right on time to bite down on his ankle. Cloud screamed out in pain, dropped the ax, and it nearly bashed into Red’s skull.

“The hell do you think you’re doin’, Cloud?!” Barret snapped angrily at him, swiping the dangerous weapon off the ground while shaking his head in clear disappointment. “I asked you to help us chop wood; not chop your own damn leg off!!”

Enough was enough for Cloud. He could only handle so much yelling and shouting, and Barret’s minacious glares coupled with his obstreperous personality had served as the impetus for Cloud setting down his ego.

“I need to be off on my own,” he announced, brushing past Tifa and Barret, heading straight for the path leading to the thicket of woods he sometimes passed time in shooting arrows, target practicing, or taking long walks by himself all while getting lost and buried in his troublesome thoughts. It was what he so desperately needed and craved, right now.

Aerith attempted to follow him for a moment, but he gently nudged her away. “I’ll be fine, Aerith,” he assured her with a small, amicable small followed by an auspicious wave. “I just need some time to think.”

Nodding at him in understanding and empathy, she commented, “Take all the time you need, Cloud.”

He was off without another word or glance back at his friends, and after half an hour of walking aimlessly through the bushes, weaving his way past large boulders, pushing dirt around with his boots, and muttering to himself under his breath, Cloud located a small babbling brook to sit by and skip small stones across. The susurrus of the stream calmed and soothed his nerves, right up until he remembered how Sephiroth had defeated him.

Fury surging forth like a volcano, Cloud erupted ferociously by throwing the stones into the stream as opposed to gently skipping them like he had a few moments ago. Beyond anger, now, he tried replaying the events of their battle over and over again, hopeful that he could at least identify how and where he’d made a mistake in his fighting skills. What was his grievous error?

He was just as fast as Sephiroth, just as strong, and just as capable! He had no flaws!!

Puzzled when he couldn’t come up with anything rational to explain his loss, Cloud stewed away as he ran out of rocks to throw into the deep waters. Now, he was at the very height of his anger. Scrambling up on his knees, he glared at his own reflection cast in the surface of the cool brook. As he scowled down at himself, high above a few feet away on a thick tree branch formed the reflection of another…

As it shaped and morphed clearer, Cloud focused on it, and he saw long, silver hair flowing just as gracefully as the brook flowing downstream. Fists clenched tightly, Cloud soon looked over his shoulder, thinking he’d been dreaming and imagining things. However, when he peeked around, he saw that no, he wasn’t dreaming.

Sephiroth grinned at him like a Cheshire cat.

Unable to tolerate the other man’s coy smirk, Cloud glared back at his reflection in the water, instead. “You should’ve just killed me,” he threw out mordantly. “What good’s a damn hero if he can’t even fend for himself?”

Tilting his head curiously at him, Sephiroth elucidated softly, “I most certainly did grant you that wish.”

Snorting, Cloud argued, “I’m right _here_.” Patting his chest, he expounded, “Still breathing and walking, in the flesh and all that, so if that’s how good you are at killing your enemies, then it’s no wonder I survived.” Laughing it off, Cloud murmured, “Pathetic. You’re a swindler, aren’t you?”

“Hmm, I’m afraid I haven’t cheated you, Cloud, nor do I appreciate being accused of committing an act of chouse.”

Testily, Cloud snapped, “I’m—”

“Alive, but only in _this_ time.” Sephiroth patiently sang out. Leaning back against the tree trunk, he smiled fondly, as though conversing with a life-long friend rather than a mortal enemy. “You’ll never learn, will you?” Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he repeated, “Not yet. Your time will come, but not yet, my impatient Cloud.”

Clutching at the bright green grass at the edge of the brook, Cloud tore it up from the soil, seething in fresh bouts of rage. “Taunting me won’t change things.”

Huffing, Sephiroth coolly inquired, “Will sulking in the forest change things, then?”

Cloud bit the insides of his cheeks, holding back on speaking. He truly feared something terrifying would slip out of his mouth if he uttered a word, and he didn’t need any further embarrassment, right now.

Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, Sephiroth purred, “You died in the world I simulated, and it has no bearing and no impact, here.”

That would explain the lack of blood and wounds, at least. After battling Sephiroth once-in whatever form he’d appeared-it was safe to assume that he was rendered at least weak in some strange way. Anything he could control and manipulate didn’t seem to last, thankfully.

Cautiously, Cloud asked, “So…it doesn’t matter how many times I die…there? I will still be alive, here?” It sounded so odd, but apparently, it made enough sense that Sephiroth nodded. Still, the determined youth had his questions.

Eyes set on the water, Cloud pushed out, “I didn’t see the Whispers. How do I know what you say is true?” Seriously, he wouldn’t put it past Sephiroth to lie and deceive, but the Whispers had been present many times when he’d saved Aerith, when Barret was on the brink of death, and they’d swarmed all over Midgar during other instances.

Tapping and drumming his fingers over his long, lean thighs, Sephiroth orated, “You rely too much on your eyes; you’re easy to deceive.”

Sternest of scowls set upon the comely warrior in the tree, Cloud rebuked potently, “So you’re calling me an idiot?!” What nerve.

Eyes flickering once at Cloud’s torso from head to toe, Sephiroth coyly purred, “Think of it as a straight-forward level of sheer idiocy.”

Growling mutinously, Cloud cried, “I asked a question! I never asked for you to insult me!!”

“Just because you couldn’t witness them for your own eyes, doesn’t mean they weren’t present, Cloud.” Calmly, Sephiroth looked to the sky, mysterious eyes shining and gleaming as though he was in on all the secrets of the planet. That sort of arrogance was consistently displayed and associated with Sephiroth, and Cloud hated it.

Not wanting to focus on and obsess over his own misgivings, Cloud coldly hissed to Sephiroth, “Is following me around all day long the best you can do?” Haughtily, he concluded with a sneer, “It’s getting rather old, I think.”

All teeth in his smile, Sephiroth looked at Cloud, and the way in which he did so struck a chord within the young hero. He couldn’t recall the last time Sephiroth looked at him in such a way. It was troubling, held unpredictability, and Cloud genuinely had no idea what to make of it. All he could do, however, was wait for the next smarmy comment to free itself from Sephiroth’s lips.

A heavy form of mysticism gathered in the depths of the older man’s eyes, and he seemed to really enjoy himself at Cloud’s expense. Not at all budging from his spot on the thick branch, he softly pressed out in one breath, “Watching you was never taxing for me, Cloud.”

Strangely, the young warrior knew a part of himself hiding deeply in the shadows of his own guilt wanted so very much to believe Sephiroth’s words. Thankfully, Cloud’s resolve fiercely and doggedly pursued that strange side he longed to be rid of, and he buried it as deeply beneath his shame and guilt as he could.

If it ever showed its face again…should it ever rear its ugly head…he would be lost, forever. 

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Sephiroth permitted Cloud to visit different replicated ‘practice rooms’. At first, a cautious Cloud supposed it was too good to be true. An impending sense of doom warned him that as he took Sephiroth up on his offer to teach him how to properly ‘dual’, it was only a matter of time before Sephiroth pounced on him and snatched his life right out of his eyes.

Hoping these were just theories as opposed to realities lying beneath the surface, Cloud slipped further into maudlin thoughts. Why was Sephiroth even allowing this?? Wasn’t he opening himself up to the possibility that his supposed enemy would learn all his tricks and techniques in combat? Surely, Sephiroth knew this?

Of course, he knew it. But he perhaps didn’t allow for it to affect him as much as it affected Cloud.

As it were, whenever they fought, Sephiroth instructed Cloud in new tactics and methods on gaining back some strength, speed, and agility. However, it never came without a price attached to it. That cost often lay in Cloud being insulted numerous times, chided, chastised, and mocked. Truthfully, he’d expected it from Sephiroth, but he still growled and mumbled under his breath whenever the taller, more experienced warrior would haughtily take jabs at him.

So unnecessary.

“Slow,” Sephiroth sighed, a hand on his hip as he blocked one of Cloud’s potent attacks. Wrist flicking to the side, he countered another attack the hot-blooded youth tried to land with perfect ease.

After having struggled for nearly two hours in such a way and not getting anywhere, Cloud unleashed a flurry of whirlwind attacks. One right after another, Sephiroth countered, blocked, countered, blocked, and he did so all while making it seem like pure magic.

Resisting the urge to yawn due to how tedious this was for someone of his skill and talents, Sephiroth commented blandly, “Dull, _and_ slow.”

Changing his speed, then, Cloud lunged forth with a small roar. Again, their blades met in a violent clash, and Sephiroth actually yawned this time.

“Still too slow,” he judged, causing Cloud to snap up his sword in an upwards cutting motion. Sadly, the younger male sliced through the air rather than through Sephiroth’s arm as he’d dreamt of doing.

Sephiroth had to go and poke fun at that, too. “Weak,” he motioned at Cloud’s wrist. “I’m shocked you can lift that abomination you call a ‘weapon’, much less use it, given your gangly form.”

 _‘Ignore him, ignore him, he’s only trying to get you worked up!’_ Cloud stressed this fact in his mind, but it didn’t work when it came to practicality. Sephiroth knew how to push all his buttons, and he had perfected his knowledge of which ones to tamper with the most in order to get a rise out of Cloud.

The hot-headed youth pressed on, trying to become faster and faster in his slashes and slices. Unfortunately, it was all a figment of his imagination, apparently. As much as he’d thought he was getting closer and closer to landing a single blow on Sephiroth’s dark uniform, in actuality, Cloud wasn’t even able to raise his weapon to the other ex-SOLDIER steadily enough.

Leering at him with malice, Sephiroth scornfully commented unnecessarily, “Now, you’ve exchanged accuracy for speed. You confuse the two constantly.” 

Seeing red, Cloud snarled, flying through the air at Sephiroth. Leaping off his feet, he drew his sword back, aiming right for Sephiroth’s skull. However, in one quick move, Sephiroth merely stepped once to the right, and as Cloud sailed by his ear, he used the handle of his Masamune to boot Cloud right in the ass. The younger man zipped past Sephiroth, crashing to his knees as he went rolling through the grassy field of the simulated environment they’d been practicing in.

Coughing and spitting out earthy soil from his lips once his awkwardly clumsy stumbling came to a halt, Cloud rubbed his face and growled in annoyance.

Sephiroth smirked triumphantly, holding his Masamune at his side in a poised and relaxed manner. “No one ever found victory in the dirt,” he crowed, pausing long enough to laugh at Cloud’s expense.

Strangely, time passed relatively smoothly in such a way. Cloud would sneak off late in the evenings or at nightfall, meeting Sephiroth on the small flower covered hill near Aerith’s home. Together, they would be spirited and whisked away to a random environment, and after exchanging a few harsh glares, the two warriors would battle.

Cloud lost track of how many hours, minutes, and seconds passed like this. One thing he knew however was that his techniques weren’t paying off. Stubborn as he was, Cloud ignored Sephiroth’s instructions, persisting with his own tools and methods to win. Sadly, nothing was working. Not even his powerful Omnislash did the trick, and it got to a point where Cloud began entertaining dapocaginous and cruel notions of cheating his way through the battle to cultivate his own success. Of course, Sephiroth never allowed that, and the moment Cloud even felt an inkling of that option tickling his brain, the silver-haired antagonist would punish him by knocking his weapon clean out of his hands.

“Use one hand, you obstinate thing,” Sephiroth commanded, a futile exercise when Cloud struck at him quickly while wielding his weapon with two hands.

The younger male’s anger wasn’t assuaged in the slightest. Profusely sweating, he gaped at how quickly he’d worked himself to the bone, while not even a perfect strand of hair on Sephiroth’s head could be found out of place. In a stark contrast to this, Cloud took on a demure form; bangs clinging to his forehead and temples in sweaty strings, face puffy and red.

_‘He’s not even real…none of this can be.’_

“Concentrate, imbecile!”

Sephiroth’s warnings came too late for Cloud. Tripping over his own feet, he saw Sephiroth swinging and aiming for his legs, and he leapt up, trying to avoid it. Thinking he’d been far too clever, Cloud flew towards the rafters, already planning a diving critical hit. Sephiroth unfortunately changed his plans out of nowhere. Gliding through the air after Cloud, he quickly bashed his shoulder into Cloud’s solar plexus, effectively knocking the wind right out of the youth. Like an aircraft crashing to the Earth, Cloud fell right on his back. His sword clanked into the old floors next to himself, and he rolled to the side in the hopes of crawling as far away from his embarrassment as possible.

Slowly and gracefully landing on his feet, a perfect smile etched its way over Sephiroth’s lips. Eyes filled with mirth, no doubt at Cloud’s mortification, he declaimed, “I see you’re making an effort…”

When Cloud glanced up at him through his sandy-colored bangs, Sephiroth finished, “…An effort to deliberately ignore my advice, that is. No wonder you keep losing.”

“Urrgh!” Cloud emitted a feral noise, and he got back on his feet. Swaying for a moment, he then thickly pointed at Sephiroth as he accused in a guttural manner, “You want me to keep failing on purpose! You always have!”

It was then that Sephiroth looked truly offended. Lips pursed, a dangerous gleam appeared in his eyes. Sternly, he approached Cloud, raising his deadly Masamune to slide right beneath the ex-SOLDIER’s chin.

Forcing Cloud to look into his eyes, Sephiroth began a deep growl that seemed far too aggressive. “You think I pulled you all this way, worked with you for so long, tolerated your childish outbursts, all just to see you fail? That’s it, then, you miserable brat?”

Swallowing nervously, Cloud rasped, “It always was…always!”

“Such a child, indeed.” Sephiroth didn’t lower his weapon, but he steadfastly continued. “If I wanted to do that, I would’ve personally seen to it that you _never_ had the faintest of chances to talk to Zack ever again.”

Hearing his friend’s name streaming from Sephiroth’s lips so coldly poured fresh fury into Cloud. Fire burst and surged through himself, and he screamed out viciously, “Don’t talk about Zack Fair! You have no right!”

Scoffing, Sephiroth hissed thinly, “Afraid I’ll sully his reputation and good name?” Shaking his head abruptly, the older, formerly renowned top SOLDIER added bitterly, “You really _don’t_ appreciate your gifts, do you, Cloud?”

Thinking at first that Sephiroth was implying a message about the flowers taken from Aerith’s garden, Cloud glared forth in new rounds of annoyance. The reprobate Sephiroth _of course_ had to stoop to such low levels. Cloud wasn’t all that surprised, but he had to pause and wonder why Sephiroth was pointing at them right _now,_ of all damn times.

Sardonically, Cloud bit out, “I told you, that wasn’t a gift, and flowers are—”

Closing the scant distance between them, Sephiroth heatedly scowled as he loomed over Cloud. Eyebrows clenched tightly, he snarled, “I wasn’t referring to the damn flowers, you ungrateful boy!” Sephiroth’s boisterous voice bounced off every corner of the castle he and Cloud were battling in. Though it was fake, Cloud wanted to bash his skull numerous times into every stone out of sheer frustration.

The rambunctious youth bellowed vigorously, “I don’t have time for your head games, Sephiroth! I’m leaving!”

The moment he turned on his heels to escape the castle, Sephiroth dashed ahead of him. With heightened agility and superhuman powers, the former top SOLDIER glared down into Cloud’s unruly eyes.

Resolutely, Cloud spat out, “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

Refusing to budge, Sephiroth hissed softly, “You’re entirely confused and randomly lethal as you ever were, Cloud. Are you even _willing_ to try, here?”

Deep down, Cloud knew he’d had enough. He simply couldn’t tolerate Sephiroth’s imperious demands any longer. Shoving his shoulder into the taller male’s sternum, Cloud argued in vitriol, “I didn’t ask for you to become my mentor.” And he truthfully hadn’t. Somehow, Sephiroth had taken it upon himself to play the role of teacher and place Cloud by force as his pupil. But why? To what end?

Perhaps even Sephiroth himself didn’t understand, but one way or another, Cloud wanted to get to the bottom of the conundrum.

Impulsively, he questioned, “Is all this a part of your plan? To reduce me to a husk or a shell so you can take over?” Sarcastically, Cloud offered a small round of applause before muttering glumly, “Brilliant. That’ll work.”

Ire spun and swam within Sephiroth, but strangely, he composed himself quite well, all things considered. He didn’t even bat an eyelid as he coldly replied, “Stop and think. Ask yourself: what do you think is your rightful place in the alignment of this planet and all its wonders, Cloud?”

The cryptic manner in which Sephiroth often communicated in drove Cloud insane. Rage encouraged him to throw out with a sneer, “Unlike _you_ , I’m not trying to destroy anything. I’d never even dream of doing that.”

“And what have I destroyed? What have I taken from you?”

Gasping at Sephiroth’s inflated pomposity, Cloud held up a hand. “Want a damn list?!” he shrieked, holding up a few fingers as he counted everything he could remember. “How about burning Nibelheim to a damn cinder, first? Hmm? Why don’t we start with that?!”

Closing his eyes for a moment, Sephiroth pushed on, clearly holding back on lashing out with his own fury. “I was referring to now, Cloud.”

Not ready to counter that, Cloud barely hissed something out, when Sephiroth drew near to him. His long strands of silver hair softly touched Cloud’s forehead, a mere testament to how closely they were standing before one another. If Sephiroth got any closer, Cloud was certain he would be able to taste his own rising bile in his mouth…

Disallowing Cloud to back away, Sephiroth let out a soft sigh. He suddenly appeared rather exhausted, though not in any physical sense. His eyes lacked the sinister gleam often found within them for a few seconds, but before Cloud had a chance to ponder on how that was possible, their emotionless state returned.

Tilting his head curiously at Cloud, Sephiroth mused, “Zack Fair. Is he not with you all? Safely, I might add?”

Testily, Cloud snapped, “That’s none of your damn—”

“You blithering fool,” came Sephiroth’s terse words, causing Cloud’s face to flare up. “It most certainly _is_ my business when I’ve done whatever I could to deliver Zack to you again.”

Cloud felt beyond frozen. If he could describe how he was sensing things as soon as he heard what Sephiroth had admitted so earnestly, the closest attribute he could assign to his feelings would be that he turned into a damn statue. He was incapable of even breathing, which caused his heart to leap up into his throat. Eyes burning due to not having blinked in nearly a full minute, Cloud swallowed, feeling a thick, large lump in his throat. If he had to wager, he would’ve assumed that somehow, a Chocobo’s egg had lodged itself in his trachea.

When he’d taken too much time standing and gaping in muteness, Sephiroth huffed. Fingers wrapping tightly around the handle of his Masamune, he glared down at his feet, shaking his head in dismay. “I loathe repeating myself, Cloud. I need your help; I need for you to understand that contrary to what you may believe, I bear you no ill will.”

Not yet ready to believe such a puerile notion, Cloud coldly argued, “So what was Zack, then? A peace offering?” Laughing in contempt, he supplied, “We’re just pawns to you, aren’t we?”

Finally, Sephiroth glanced up, and through his lashes, a sadistic sheen took over his bright eyes. A warped grin morphed onto his face, making him appear as evil as the day Cloud saw him for the true monster he was. Smoothly, Sephiroth purred, “You think very little of yourself. Weren’t _you_ the besotted puppy, following Zack everywhere?”

“Shut up.”

Undeterred, Sephiroth most definitely didn’t cease and desist. Coyly, he craned his head up as he sang out loudly, “Nipping at his heels, hoping, dreaming, wanting to be just like him.”

Gritting his teeth together tightly, Cloud again cried out, “Shut up!”

Wagging a finger in his face like a parent scolding their child, Sephiroth ushered in an amused tone, “I think not, Cloud…or shall I say, former Shinra infantryman?”

Cloud knew he was about to lose all semblances of his self-control if he listened to one more word. He’d had enough of Sephiroth’s smarmy attitude to last him a thousand years, but Sephiroth didn’t seem to care. He insisted on taunting the shorter male, widely exaggerating his superior state along the way just for his own pleasure.

“You knew it would only be a matter of time, didn’t you, Cloud?” Boots thudding along the stones embedded into the castle grounds, Sephiroth steadily approached Cloud, a rather hungry, possessive aura swarming over and smothering both men.

Leaning so close to Cloud that their foreheads nearly made contact, Sephiroth beamed in self-satisfaction. Knowing he was in full control and had gained the upper hand, he ground out effortlessly, “If I can’t convince you to come along with me in one way, I’ll see that it is done in other ways, Cloud.” Pupils dilating slightly, a predatory gaze shadowed Sephiroth’s handsome features. “I’m quite resourceful, you know.”

As Cloud trained his eyes down on the floor at his own boots, he didn’t see Sephiroth’s left hand sliding up towards his face. Suddenly, the semi-warm sensation of the taller male’s gloved hand seeped into his cheek, and Cloud exploded. In a burst of rage, he snatched his Iron Blade, but Sephiroth was far too quick for him. Already having anticipated what Cloud was going to do, the more powerful warrior kicked up with his left knee, effectively knocking Cloud’s weapon right out of his hand.

It went clattering onto the stone, and a distracted Cloud stared on in horror after it. As he’d been disarmed, Sephiroth plunged his sharp Masamune right through Cloud’s left shoulder. Hoisting the weakened blonde up without even exerting himself, Sephiroth snidely bit out, “Fine. Have it your own way, then.”

As Cloud remained choking on whatever oxygen remained in his lungs, Sephiroth tossed him upwards unceremoniously. Such strength had never been witnessed before, and as it dominated over Cloud, it ate away at the calmness he once held within himself. Not a trace of it was left as he flew up through the castle, higher and higher through the expansive, cerulean sky. When he finally had been abruptly disconnected from the training simulator, he looked high above through the bits of sunlight streaming into his eyes.

A large avian creature circumaviated through the tallest of trees, watching him as though Cloud was its prey. He knew it was Sephiroth without needing to check it for himself. Rolling to his side, Cloud definitely sensed pain searing through his shoulder. Clutching it, he ignored birds and carrion crows cawing at him in the distance. The turmoil and anguish he felt burning in his heart weighed far too much at once for anything else to occupy his mind.

When he inhaled deeply enough to take into his burning lungs fresh oxygen, only one sentence fled from his brain to his lips.

“I _must_ speak with Zack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those flashbacks containing Zack really hit home for me :(


	5. Gates Of Dawn

“No, Cloud! You absolutely can’t see Zack, yet!!”

Cloud had already prepared for this, but that didn’t entail he would be so accepting of the rejection. The moment he’d recovered from his failed ‘practice session’ with Sephiroth, the brazen youth marched over to the medical cabin Zack was still resting in. Tifa and Barret stood on guard, shooing him away when he begged and pleaded for the tenth time to have a brief chat with the injured man.

Stubbornly, Barret shook his head as he thickly warned Cloud away from the cabin. “Tifa’s right, Cloud! Zack’s still in a coma, and we need to—owww!!” All too quickly, Tifa shot up like a bolt of lightning, and she swiftly punched Barret in the back of his head.

Though not at all terribly injured, the large, burly man groused and bemoaned almost too childishly for his own age. Cradling the back of his skull, he paused as he whined petulantly at Tifa. “Daaaamn, girl! Why’d you have to go and do that for?!”

Patting her dark tank top down before straightening her gloves, Tifa hissed thinly, “You weren’t supposed to tell Cloud that!”

Well, the damage was done either way.

Stunned and stricken akin to being targeted and hit by the most powerful wave of Thundara, Cloud’s chin and jaw quivered as he whispered brokenly, “Zack’s i-in a-a c-coma?” But how could it be? Zack was always so much better, so much stronger, and so much more powerful than Cloud himself could’ve ever hoped and wished to be! Zack had not only served as Cloud’s inspiration, but he’d been the foundation of hope, the fountain of joy, and the guiding voice of reason that always fueled Cloud and kept him going.

And now, he was grievously injured…what was he to do?

A great decession of hope and serenity escaped Cloud’s mind and heart. Truly concerned for his best friend’s safety and sanity remained at the forefront of his worries, and woefully, Cloud hated that he wouldn’t be able to reach for an answer to solving this mess. Whatever Zack had experienced-anything he could remember-was crucial at this point. But there was no getting past Tifa and Barret. Most importantly, Zack was in a critical condition. 

Regretting his tenacity, Cloud re-shifted his main concentration on doing whatever he could to help Zack feel as comfortable as possible. Craning his neck down in a submissive manner, his brows furrowed in a tight knot almost as large and convoluted one churning in the pit of his belly.

“Is th-there anything I c-can do to help?” He hated how weak and minuscule he sounded in front of Barret and Tifa, but there wasn’t much he could do to hide and shy away from his emotions and vulnerabilities.

Both his friends sadly shook their heads in reply.

“Best thing to do is to take care after yourself, Cloud,” Tifa suggested softly. “You don’t look so good.”

“Tip of the iceberg,” Cloud muttered, massaging his temples as he clenched his eyes shut. He had a horrible headache brewing, and he knew it was only due to over-thinking and over-stressing about the situation. Well. It wasn’t doing him any good to remain discombobulated, but Cloud was at his wits end.

Biting on the tip of his tongue, he first ensured he wouldn’t fall privy to unleashing useless anger at Barret and Tifa he would only end up regretting later. Steady and composed, he exhaled deeply, “Let me know when he’s awake, please.”

“Aerith is watching over him, so don’t worry, Cloud,” Tifa informed him, wrapping her arms soothingly about his shoulders as she gently turned him away from the door of the medical cabin.

Their boots crunched along the gravel, dirt, and bits of wood, and every time Cloud lowered his weight on the debris and dirt, he experienced an overwhelming, morbid sense of dread. It mounted heavier and heavier on his shoulders, and it soon got to the point where he found breathing and moving to be a difficult feat.

Tifa assisted him all the way back to his room, throwing Marle a perplexed glance along the way. Cloud knew they were highly concerned about him, and he hated it. The last thing he needed was their pity or for them to coddle him. Prior to all this, he’d dealt with his own sores, his own wounds, and his own misery. He didn’t need to be watched over like an infant all the time!

Once Tifa guided him towards his bed and pulled down the bed sheets, Cloud shrugged her limbs off his shoulders coldly. “I’m fine, Tifa,” he groused bitterly with a deep frown. “I can take care of myself, now.”

Pouting, Tifa huffed, “Oh, come on, mazey-head!” She giggled playfully as she bounced up and down a few times while Cloud kicked off his heavy, dark boots. The articles of clothing thudded along the floor with clamancy matching the burdens beating through Cloud’s heart and mind, and he merely grunted at Tifa in response.

The clamant young woman frowned mildly at him as he sat on the edge of his bed, hands resting over his knees while a penitent expression hung over his visage.

Stepping up to him cautiously, Tifa began gently, “Cloud? What’s on your mind?”

Tifa knew him all too well. Though he could hardly hide his true emotions from her, Cloud both wanted and yearned for that privacy, now. No matter how much he valued and trusted Tifa, especially, it just wasn’t possible for him to admit to her that he’d been seeing Sephiroth, conversing with him, and that only because of Sephiroth, had Zack appeared in their lives again. It hardly seemed believable after he’d ended the fallen SOLDIER’s life five years ago, and now, the odds of anyone taking him seriously were diminishing, slowly day by day.

Ever since Shinra had dropped the large plate on Sector 7 to get back at Avalanche, Cloud knew his people were facing difficult, melanic times ahead. It wasn’t a question or matter of rebuilding the town, helping those in need, curing the sick, and feeding the starved. It was a matter of righting all the moral and ethical wrongs and laying the secrets of the past down to rest.

If it were possible, anyway.

Tucking himself into his bed, Cloud’s thoughts traveled back to the odd conversation he’d shared with Sephiroth in the metaphysical dimension known only as ‘the edge of creation’. What did Sephiroth truly even want? The bastard often communicated in neck-deep riddles and mysteries so much that Cloud felt nauseous even pondering it all.

Not wanting to be sick all over himself or his clean sheets, Cloud shut his eyes, lay flatly on his back, and turned away from his inner demons taking on the form and shape of the One Winged Angel from hell.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

_Not even in the land of dreaming did Sephiroth want to leave Cloud alone. The cold raindrops seeped through his dark clothes, making him shiver to the bone as he lay draped over Zack’s chest. Through the sounds of the thunder rumbling and growling in the distance, Cloud focused on the soft, last breaths Zack was taking._

_“You’ll be…my living legacy.”_

_He knew then that Zack was running out of blood and energy. His limbs came away from Cloud’s back and shoulders, plopping heavily into the thick, cold mud with a dull ‘thud’. They looked sorrowfully at each other for a moment, but then Zack held a glimmer of faith and hope in his dark eyes. Reaching for his Buster Sword, Zack pushed the infamous weapon that had guided him through all the most difficult battles, holding it right beneath Cloud’s chest._

_Smiling weakly, he exclaimed, “They’re yours, now!”_

_He had to accept it; he had to take on this new responsibility. To refuse a fallen SOLDIER in a time like this would be truly offensive. In spite of how badly he felt he didn’t even deserve to look Zack straight in the eyes, Cloud gripped the handle of the Buster Sword, nearly imploding in sadness when Zack attempted to reach for him, only to fall again._

_Forcing himself to speak, Cloud peered down at his dying friend, and he whispered in confirmation slowly, “I’m…your living legacy…”_

_Zack could now rest in peace. His eyes snapped shut, and a true look of satisfaction and relief etched onto his bloodied face. Cloud, unable to turn away from the horrific image of his best friend lying on the cold, wet earth as his soul flitted far from this plane of existence, threw his head back and emitted a sorrowful, potent cry of despair. It echoed and rang on for minutes, nearly destroying himself in the process. His haunting cries knew no end, for if they did cease, Cloud would have to continue on from this…he didn’t want that…he couldn’t stand it!_

“SEPHIROTH! STOP IT!!”

From the heavy shadows expanding beside the curtains in Cloud’s room, the infernal creature came forth.

“You summoned me, Cloud,” Sephiroth spoke calmly, though a hint of a sadistic smile lingered behind his eyes.

Petulantly groaning, Cloud shook his head as he writhed in the entanglement of his thin sheets around his feverish form. “As if I’d ever dare to—”

Ignoring him as he skirted past that angry rebuttal, Sephiroth offered in a coo, “Your dreams reached out for me, and I came to you.”

Cloud only chose to glance away from meeting Sephiroth’s odd, penetrating gaze. The taller warrior’s eyes were practically glowing like hot coal in the heavy darkness encasing them both.

Sardonically, Sephiroth prodded, “Still unsatisfied?”

Throwing his blankets off his form, Cloud leapt to his feet and strode over to Sephiroth. Jabbing a strong finger into the taller male’s broad chest sharply, Cloud intoned viciously, “The Lifestream! You died! I remember, now!!”

Nonplussed, Sephiroth calmly grabbed Cloud’s hand by the wrist, shoving it away from his person. Expression passive, he simply uttered, “I’ve told you; our reunion is nothing you should fear. When will you start trusting me, Cloud?”

Gaping at him, Cloud squealed on a shrill note, “Trust you?! I’d sooner end my own life rather than trust _you_ , Sephiroth!”

“Hmm, that’s too bad, my little puppet,” Sephiroth mocked him, throwing him a disgruntled expression before circling him like a shark zooming and zeroing in on its prey.

Eyebrows flying up to his bangs, Cloud wheezed in confusion, “Puppet?? Is this another one of your games and ploys, Sephiroth?”

Soothly, Cloud wouldn’t put it past the depraved individual to do such a thing. Though his memories were foggy and hazy, Cloud distinctly recalled Sephiroth trying to break his strength and resolve by making him believe he was nothing but a mere simulacrum created by Professor Hojo with false memories implanted. That had been a truly horrific experience to go through, and he could only remain still as he pondered what other games and tricks Sephiroth was cooking up for him.

Tilting his head at Cloud stuck in the midst of his silent musing, the long-haired male cooed, “I don’t have time for games, Cloud. I’m only here to take what I want; you know that.”

Scoffing as he shook his head back and forth, Cloud stubbornly snapped, “Sephiroth, you once deceived me into thinking that I was a mere cluster of Jenova cells assuming the identity of a young boy named ‘Cloud’ from Tifa Lockhart’s childhood!” Voice cracking as his throat tightened, he emotionally whispered, “Do you have _any_ idea what kind of a mental, emotional toll that had on me?!? Huh?!?”

 _‘No,’_ Cloud answered for himself in a heartbeat. _‘You don’t care, and you never will.’_

Sephiroth nodded firmly, resuming his steady pacing around Cloud. As he walked stiffly and rigidly, he boldly announced, “Regardless, I’m here to collect what’s rightfully _mine_ , Cloud.”

Mistakenly, Cloud inquired, “If you think you can just ruin this planet and—”

Gripping his chin in a strong hand, Sephiroth wrenched Cloud’s head up so they were at eye-level. Scowling ferociously with all his might, Sephiroth’s stern glare reduced Cloud to a quivering, silent mess. He had no idea what he was even trying to say; Sephiroth held the power to strip away all thoughts of reasoning, lucidity, and rational ideas without even needing to try.

Lips curling back in a deadly snarl that sent shivers running up and down Cloud’s spine, Sephiroth jeered, “Make no mistake, puppet. You owe me, and I _will_ collect and take from you what was and always shall be _mine_.”

What was _this?_ Scrambling for answers, Cloud’s eyes shifted through Sephiroth’s, though he never knew what it was he sought. Had he truly wanted the answer to be etched into the other man’s eyes? All over his face? Hanging like a colorful mural?

Perhaps, as Sephiroth had said before, he _was_ a fool…

Leaning close, Sephiroth’s long, soft strands of hair tickled Cloud’s cheeks, but the younger, shorter warrior didn’t wish to reveal the signs. He stood his ground firmly, lips pursed as he angrily scowled into Sephiroth’s eyes.

“I still hate you, Cloud,” the more experienced male seethed. Standing taller, he added in an exhausted, bored sigh, “Make no mistake about that. But, be that as it may, you cannot lie to yourself forever when it comes to the connection we share…”

Heart skipping many beats, Cloud felt his blood freezing in his veins. As if someone had played Sephiroth’s voice over and over on a recorder, Cloud heard the same sentence repeating in his ears, sullying his soul and mind each time he heard them.

_“You cannot lie to yourself forever when it comes to the connection we share…”_

Connection?? What connection?? As far as Cloud understood, the only connection he had with Sephiroth happened to be a few instances during their brief encounters and exchanges at the Shinra Electric Power Company, as well as when they fought during the last battle in the Mako reactor. The last thing Cloud was able to recall was that Sephiroth had of course run him through, effectively impaling him with his beloved Masamune…but Cloud had in return hurled the taller male into the potent Lifestream, too…

Watching coolly as Cloud grunted in pain once all the memories flooded in, Sephiroth observantly pointed out as though speaking to a student. “How are your memories, by the way? Hmm?” Almost petulantly, he whispered into Cloud’s ear, “Aside from the visions, isn’t there one specific detail you forgot to recall?”

Skull feeling as though it would explode even if he received the slightest tap on the head, Cloud winced as he coughed out weakly, “Detail? What do you mean?”

Staring at his skin, Sephiroth paused, smirking from ear to ear. Then, his raised a gloved hand, and all five of his fingers touched and landed on Cloud’s upper left arm. The area Sephiroth held onto burned hotter than a cattle prod poking into Cloud. In sheer amounts of blinding, miserable pain, the youth inched back, clutching his arm desperately.

Massaging and rubbing it didn’t do any good. Wondering what Sephiroth had done to him, Cloud held onto his arm as a bewildered expression was offered to his nemesis. Sephiroth ate it all up, grinning in pure delight.

Hungrily, almost, he hissed again into Cloud’s ear, “This Reunion comes with a price, Cloud…are you prepared to know what it is?”

Shivering, Cloud hated how warmly Sephiroth’s breath grazed across the outer shell of his ear, traveling down the column of his neck. It slid down like a serpent gliding through thick grass, tickling Cloud’s fantasies in the most peculiar ways. Truly, Cloud felt stained and filthy for reacting in such a way. Why, whenever Jesse, Tifa, and Aerith came this close to him, hugging him, kissing him on the cheek, and breathing down his neck, he’d _never_ so much as even blushed! But this…this was…this was plain _wrong._

Disgrace!

A soft fluttering of wings sounded in Cloud’s eardrums at once. Glancing up through his bangs, Cloud noticed that Sephiroth was gone. It was the much-needed reprieve from all the chaos and madness drowning and smothering the hero, and he inhaled sharply once the curtains around his window blew back wildly. Nearly crashing to his knees in a dull heap, Cloud felt sweat pooling down his back in thick beads.

Why was the room suddenly so warm??

He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he sensed deeply in his gut instincts that something was terribly off, and a lot of it had to do with Sephiroth’s messages.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The only key element Cloud needed in the world were his memories, yet the poor young man couldn’t have access to them. Not without Zack, and certainly not without Sephiroth, it seemed. Tauntingly, the One-Winged Angel dangled them all like worms on sharp hooks, only dishing out bits and pieces here and there, and only when he felt it was appropriate to do so. Damned to the pains and woes of the blanks lying within the mysterious gaps in his brain, Cloud remained sequestered from his friends and trustees.

There wasn’t much to do, so he thought. Thinking was the best strategy in times like this. In the middle of wars, there never was enough time to actually sit down and think things over properly. But he had to. If Cloud Strife had a single shred of hope to come out of this in one piece with his sanity intact, he had to gather and collect his courage and thoughts and utilize them for success.

_‘One place Sephiroth can’t seem to tarnish is my mind, so I have to stay here, it seems.’_

He got lost for hours on end sitting atop a hill in Sector 5. The grassy fields provided a comforting spot to meditate in for many days, many hours. He allowed the world to keep on rotating, life spinning and breezing by while he relaxed as one would slip into a warm bath. Focused and poised, Cloud’s single interruption suddenly came to him when at the end of a particularly difficult week one night, fireworks blasted and shot through the skies, effectively jolting the youth out of his concentration.

Groaning in anguish, Cloud eyed the exploding mixture of colors high above, wondering just what the cause for the commotion had been to bring this all about. A repugnant stench of smoke filled the once clear air, causing Cloud to cough and sneeze as he fanned himself. Focusing on breathing deeply, he later heard soft pattering next to himself before the flowers and weeds carefully dipped and were parted.

Aerith’s short, ankle-high black boots nestled next to his own, and after a few short seconds, the young woman sat herself down beside Cloud. Wearing a purple dress that practically made her appear like a lovely butterfly, Aerith gathered her knees up close to her chest, resting her arms over her kneecaps.

Looking to the sky, a tiny smile formed on her face, but it lacked the usual vibrant energy Aerith often channeled. Cloud felt her sorrows and torments vicariously, and he nervously trained his eyes on her. Wondering how he could even broach a topic for a conversation, he was soon stuck, and he decided to give her the silence he felt was more appropriate during such a tense moment.

They sat side by side like that for nearly twenty minutes, not speaking, but enjoying the serene sounds of the fireworks whistling and cracking high above accompanied by the onrushing murmurs of a large waterfall behind them. Maybe things _could_ go back to how they once were, Cloud thought. Maybe they still had a good fighting chance! Tifa had once said that time healed all wounds, and when he’d first heard of such a notion, Cloud had waved it off as nonsense associated with false comfort. However, right now, he was more than ready to believe in it.

They needed time…uninterrupted time, at that.

Almost slipping into a tiny nap due to how gentle and calm the environment was, Cloud closed his eyes, only to hear a resolute ‘BANG’ booming and blasting from nowhere. It shocked him, and he groaned as he opened his eyes wider and glared into the dark, expansive sky.

“They’re celebrating!” Aerith proudly announced, pointing heavenward. “It’s been a week since the plate was dropped, but we’ve managed to save so many people!”

Grateful to hear Aerith’s soothing voice again, Cloud shared in her glee and pride. “Good for us,” he sighed, readjusting his sitting position to cross his legs as he nestled on his behind smoothly.

Beautiful face still peering at the sky, Aerith softly began, “Zack’s going to be okay; he spoke to me, today.”

Gasping, Cloud soon replaced that noise with a sigh of relief that the other youth had finally stirred out of his coma-induced state. “I knew he’d be fine,” he whispered back to her, smiling lightly as he clung to his hopes. “If you stay at his side, he will definitely fight harder to get well.”

She nodded in her agreement, the tip of her cute little nose twitching. “I know, but it’s _you_ I’m more worried about, Cloud.” Turning her face to him, the raw look of understanding she sent his way nearly pushed Cloud down into the cold, hard ground.

He’d never really received a look such as this from Aerith, but he’d been no stranger to it, before. She’d thrown glances like this to enemies of theirs and had even studied Sephiroth in such a harsh manner deep in battle. Her look was a truly serious one, and as her eyes narrowed and zoned in on Cloud, the young man found he couldn’t say or do much in response.

Stiffly, Aerith pressed on. “You’re preoccupied with something, Cloud, and I know you won’t tell me-or anyone-what it is!”

That much was true, and Cloud hated himself for it. Knowing he was a true coward at heart, he only regretfully hung his head down in shame and trained his bright eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry, Aerith. It’s just not the right time, that’s all.”

Pouting, she crossed her arms over her chest as she scolded him in a maternal tone. “How much longer do you think you can go on like this, Cloud?”

Not following, he grunted, “What do you mean? Like what?”

“Your hatred!” she shrieked, giving him a light shove. “Cloud, your hatred is consuming you, so much that I don’t think I can save you from yourself!”

Glaring forth, Cloud spat moodily, “I don’t _need_ to be saved. Maybe right now, I can afford to hate as much as I want to.” And who could blame him for it, really? Since the Nibelheim incident, he felt he’d lost plenty of the things he cherished the most. The world wouldn’t begrudge him a few seasons stewing in wrath and rancor, would it?

 _‘No…it’s my damn right!’_ He’d already decided; it _was_ his God-given right after every bit of travesty and treachery he’d lived through. The battle scars couldn’t even begin to hold up to how immensely his hatred burned for the other side.

Grumpily, Aerith gently plucked a blade of grass from the ground and poked him in the cheek with it.

“Stop it, Aerith!” Cloud hissed at her, batting away the green blade each and every time she tried tickling him with it.

As unsuccessful as he was in that regard, Aerith remained vigilant as she sternly scolded him while throwing the blade of grass at him. “Hatred and love aren’t that far apart, Cloud,” she informed him sagaciously. “You should be careful with balancing between those feelings, especially right now.”

He offered her a look of despair, his tongue frozen and heavy in his mouth as her words settled slowly through his skull.

The sapient young woman persisted, “As powerful as you think you are, Cloud, you’re still like all the rest of us!” She ended her phrase on a high note, which broke out into a soft giggle Cloud couldn’t share in.

Her words stung and bit him worse than any damage Shinra guard dogs could deliver. Confused beyond imagination, Cloud gasped, “What do you mean? Hatred is hatred, Aerith! There’s no way in the universe or in Gaia’s name they can be even _remotely_ close!”

Had she lost her mind? Had the world gone crazy? Were all things upside down, now?? Cloud couldn’t understand it, but he felt dizzy, hot, sweaty, and exhausted all throughout his body and soul. He hated having no closure, no answers. Aerith and Tifa had often been the voices of reason, the sources of comfort for him, and the greatest and most compassionate individuals he could hope to know. To hear Aerith uttering such toxic words was just…it was unseemly.

Abhorred and disgusted, Cloud created some distance between their bodies, but that did very little in the way of disparaging Aerith.

Beaming at him, she pinched his left cheek between a few of her fingers, pulling and stretching it lightly as she giggled playfully. “It is said that sometimes, the relationship between mortal enemies can be dangerously close to the bond between lovers, you know.”

_‘Bonds…bonds…there’s that damn word again…’_

Disgusted right down to every fiber of his being, Cloud bemoaned in a shrill whine, “Aerith, don’t talk about this, right now.” Clutching at his head, he expounded, “I’m getting a headache from it.” That hadn’t been anything in the way of an exaggerated claim, either. Cloud seriously wasn’t feeling well…not since the night Sephiroth visited him and touched his arm…

Right on cue, the moment he gingerly reached for his limb, it burned violently. The pain shot all the way through his muscles and bones, slamming into his skull as though someone had taken a brick and bashed him over the head with it. Blinking back tears of pain, Cloud hoped Aerith wouldn’t coddle and smother him, but that was only wishful thinking on his ignorant part.

Wrapping her arms about his frame in a close embrace, she nuzzled up to him, resting her chin in the crook of his neck while she emitted a tiny sigh. “Come on, Cloud!” Gesturing across the bridge at her brightly lit home, she sang cheerfully, “Let’s head on inside for a fresh cup of my mom’s famous brew of Midgar tea and blackberry pie!!”

Chewing his lower lip deep in thought, Cloud reluctantly drawled, “Err, I don’t know about that, Aerith…” Not wanting to impose, he held out a hand as he stated, “It’s late, and I don’t want to trouble your mother more than I normally do.”

That response earned him another pinch to his cheek. Yanking his flesh as much and as far as it would go, Aerith chuckled when Cloud whimpered in pain.

“Yeeeow! Aerith! You’re really pulling on my skin!!”

Cooing, Aerith tugged his arm, yanking Cloud up on his feet. Fireworks sailed by above, whistling in glee before they exploded into bright colors trickling down from the dark sky.

BANG!

Tickling Cloud, Aerith childishly giggled while ushering him towards her home. “You can’t say no to me, Cloud!!” Twirling in two full circles, she sighed in a dreamy manner, “Let’s mosey on over inside! You’ll love it!”

“But I—”

BANG!!

The fireworks were far too loud for Cloud’s tastes, suddenly. Cursing them for their belligerence, he looked skyward, squinting in the direction of the annoying fireworks. A few seconds ticked by, and another BANG thundered across the horizon. As Cloud and Aerith looked around, they soon espied a new type of firework stretching itself outward. To both Cloud’s and Aerith’s sheer amusement, large letters lined up magically and brightly in a line, forming a rather charming message for all to see should they glance up.

Covering her giggles with a hand over her mouth, Aerith chuckled, “Wow! Looks like Barret’s handiwork!”

There, on a smug, proud display was spelled out for all of Sector 5 through 7 to see:

**SHINRA SUCKS**

Nodding, Cloud asked, “How’d you figure that?”

Flashing him her perfect, white teeth, she cheerfully expounded, “Because he said he had a ‘big surprise’ for us all earlier today!”

BANG!

New explosions went off a moment later, rattling the ground akin to a great earthquake. While Cloud and Aerith studied the letters lining up together in the aftermath, they noticed that another word added itself at the start of the crude message.

**RUFUS SHINRA SUCKS**

Blushing beet red, Aerith declared, “Oh my! The new President won’t be happy if he ever sees or hears of this!”

Cloud shrugged nonchalantly. “Don’t think Barret cares.”

BANG!

Blasts echoed, sparks flew, and again, once the thick smoke cleared, a new insult was on full display with much arrogance behind each word.

**RUFUS SHINRA REALLY, REALLY SUCKS!**

Flashing a thumbs-up at the crude insult doctored by Barret, Cloud muttered, “Couldn’t agree more with you on that one, Barret.”

Snickering, Aerith pushed Cloud off towards her home, her ponytail swishing back and forth in time with the rhythmic sway of her hips. She ‘used’ Cloud almost like one would guide and push a Chocobo forth by massaging his shoulders in order to turn and twist him through her garden.

“Wee!!” she giggled again at the peak of her amusement. “Off we go!!”

Her newest rounds of laughter were damn adorable. Cloud refused to ask her to stop and leave him alone; she was so happy for the first time in days, and he would be damned before he spoiled that and took it away from her.

Her contagious laughter was too much. Soon, before he could control it, Cloud was almost chortling and laughing. Feeling freer than he had after so long, he had to mentally extend and show gratitude to Aerith. She _was_ the best friend he could have. She would always know what to do, and he could count on her that way.

That night, Cloud left his nettlesome concerns outside of Aerith’s home long enough to actually sit down and enjoy life before it breezed by too soon like it often had.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

After consuming all the pie and tea Aerith and Elmyra had to offer him, a heavy, satiated Cloud Strife decided to spend the night. He’d eaten so many sweets and desserts that he didn’t think he could make it back to Sector 7 in one piece. Aerith proved to be the perfect hostess, as always, and she hurriedly prepared his bed in the guest bedroom. The ardent young woman seemed to be in better spirits, and she suggested for Cloud to take a warm bath, if he wanted to. At first, Cloud had importunately rejected the offer, nestling on the soft bed as he willed himself to sleep.

Unfortunately, he soon came to learn that something was terribly off. His head felt heavy, dizzy, and his stomach churned and tossed. Had he eaten too much?

No…that couldn’t be it. He’d always devoured pies and pizzas twice as large in volume and mass and had suffered no ill effects whatsoever. No…that couldn’t provide an answer for the burdensome claudication Cloud was suffering through.

At first, he’d tried to ignore it, but after thirty odd minutes, it became intolerable. A sharp limpness began in his arms, followed by an acute cramp-like pain scorching his skin. Bones feeling stiff, Cloud sat up in bed. Right about now was a good time to take Aerith up on her offer of that warm bath.

He’d probably worked himself too hard, he supposed. Sometimes, he forgot that he was only twenty-one. He wasn’t indestructible, though he hated admitting that even to himself.

Weakly, Cloud rose from the bed, and he nearly collapsed a few times as he made his way down the hall towards the shower room. He couldn’t fathom why he’d been feeling so weak, but whatever the cause for it was, he had to know the root and source. He was worrying by the time he turned on the faucets and adjusted the water’s temperature.

Sweat dripped off his limbs, and that scared Cloud to his last nerve. It was a cool, gentle night; there was no cause for him to sweat. Touching his wrist, and then his forehead, he felt along for a fever, but he couldn’t detect his skin feeling hot on the outside…no, he knew now that he was burning up from the _inside!_

Sore-vexed, Cloud shut and locked the bathroom door, stripping off his clothes as quickly as he could in his weakened state. He could hardly prevent his hands from trembling and quivering as he divested himself of all his clothes and stepped before the only large mirror the bathroom contained. Inching right up to it, Cloud had to hold back on screaming in unmitigated, reverent terror once he gazed into the smooth, glassy surface.

Crawling the length of Cloud’s left arm was a horrific looking black tar-like essence. The stuff painted and marred his skin in the worst ways, and the more Cloud studied the shape and texture, the more he found that even if he’d wanted to shout and cry for help, something-some ungodly, ethereal presence took a strong hold over him and prevented him from gathering attention unto himself.

Such a devious, cruel mark…its deflexure was noteworthy and stellar, though not in any welcoming way. Cloud wanted to take it off, and immediately. Fleeing for the tub, once it had been at least midway full, Cloud dumped in as many bars of lavender soap as he could. Profusely rubbing and scrubbing at the area, he used his fingernails strongly, clawing at his skin as he winced in pain. As he dabbed at the sore spots with water, Cloud searched for another bar of soap.

He was eating through them like candy…

Unable to stop once he found more lather gathering and rising in the tub, Cloud kept at it, scratching his skin almost to a feverish point. He was going to cut his skin through if he kept at it…

With a small roar, Cloud deemed that had to have been enough. Any further scratching, and he would bleed. Moving around in the tub, he faced the mirror, rising so he could turn and take a good look at his arm.

_‘Please be gone, please be gone, please be—’_

He didn’t know why he had deluded himself into hoping the mark would disappear. When he gazed desperately into the mirror, he found that the dark mark branding his skin most certainly hadn’t budged.

It was here to stay.


	6. A Moment in Time

The night the mysterious black substance appeared on Cloud’s skin proved to be one of the most climacteric segments of Cloud’s life. It served as a portion of his cataclysmic doom and imminent failure, only raw, in the flesh, and a branded reminder of his loss. He’d already pieced together that this oddity was Sephiroth’s doing, no doubt, no less. Only an impious wretch like the fallen SOLDIER could dredge up something like this…

Hazy, foggy memories that were broken, disorienting, and truly horrific haunted him from the moment he woke up the next morning. Eyes burning and stinging, Cloud thought to himself in a panicked way about what he could do, next.

_‘Should I talk to Aerith about my mark? Or Tifa?’_

Pugnaciousness ran amok amid his bumbling confusion. As much as he cared for his friends, the fetters and shackles tying Cloud down to his previous life and promises catered to his high reluctance in broaching the dark subject to anyone. Already, he could see how Tifa would weep and worry over him, while Aerith would probably scold him before spending a day or two trying to heal him with every cure magic she knew. There was no way he could worry them with this…heck, a visit with the melodramatic Madam M paying for her ‘Poor Man’s Course’ was a far better option, at this point.

Clamorous voices nagged in his head and angry faces sprang behind his closed eyes. Cloud tossed and turned in his bed all night, which resulted in the former SOLDIER feeling wiped and weary when Elmyra and Aerith called him down for breakfast. Avoiding them had been at the forefront of his brain for a split second, but then he recalled how much Aerith naturally was geared towards worrying…she didn’t deserve to worry about him, on top of worrying heaps over Zack’s health.

And thus, he chose to seal his mouth shut. Heading down to the main level of the snug house, Elmyra’s soft, melodic embellishment in the form of a glorious morning greeting hit his ears. The maternal figure beamed at Cloud, already placing freshly squeezed orange juice in the center of the table next to her wondrous home-made tarts. Standing in the kitchen a few feet behind her was Aerith, a most lovely ornamentation for Cloud’s sore eyes.

Whirling around gracefully like a skilled dancer, Aerith brought with herself a small tray bearing newly baked cookies. Their sugary scents tricked Cloud into supposing he was hungry, but when he moved to sit down at the small, round table, his eyes caught the minor traces of the dark substance lingering in his flesh. Earlier that same morning, Cloud haphazardly tried covering it up by wrapping an orange bandanna about his arm. A few times, his makeshift ‘cast’ had slipped off, but he somehow managed to work it back onto his limb enough so that it would hold. 

The hefty price he’d have to pay for his own negligence was insurmountably high, and he couldn’t afford it.

To his sheer luck, thankfully, Aerith and Elmyra were equally as hungry as he was. They soon feasted on the breakfast, exchanging hearty laughter and jokes that would normally cause Cloud to smile and beam around the house brighter than the first rays of the morning sun. Sadly, as he feigned going through the motions of pleasure and joy, deep down, he was truthfully too nervous to utter a single word.

As he remained detached from their conversation, Aerith gently nudged him as she inquired in a sweet voice, “Got a lot on your mind, Cloud?”

Well, he most certainly did, but he had no idea from where he could begin to voice his concerns aloud. Zack was still in the early processes of recovering, Sector 7 was in shambles, and now, he himself wasn’t feeling too well. Ipso facto, yes, Cloud Strife had a great deal on his mind.

When Aerith threw him a questionable glance, his first words sprang free with honesty backing them up. “I’m just worried about Zack,” Cloud admitted while pushing around his eggs with a fork. Since he’d over-mixed the already scrambled eggs, they became a mushy mess too quickly. They weren’t edible, now…

Grumpily, Cloud set down his utensil as Aerith soothingly offered, “We can visit him later today, Cloud! My mom’s going to make some vegetable and chicken broth soup, and if you want, we will deliver it to him then!”

Slowly, Cloud nodded in confirmation. That was a great idea, and while it solved one issue, he knew that something as simple as chicken broth and vegetable soup wouldn’t aid in curing whatever was currently ailing himself, unfortunately. No, for that, Cloud was betting he had to reach and search for someone else to help him…

Bellicosity his guiding motive, his mystical, clinquant eyes met Elmyra’s, and Cloud seized up. Could it be that the sagacious woman picked up on his levels of discomfort? Oh, he hoped that was far from the case…news traveled much like wildfire anywhere in Midgar. That was a known fact of life, and not something Cloud wanted to test or toy with. As always, he dedicated himself to be the silent, resolute warrior who wasn’t ever exhausted or troubled enough to take up a task.

Serious expression unyielding on his handsome features, he made sure to consume a few more bites before his other two caring companions noticed something was off. Mentally, however, Cloud had already reserved a time to speak with Sephiroth, and he impatiently began counting down the hours and minutes for the opportune moment to arrive.

…If it ever would…

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

_‘Come on, where are you??’_

Cloud ran through the bushels and bristly thickets of berry trees and bushes, frightening many birds and animals as he sped through the woods. Dashing about like a chicken with its head decapitated, his thoughts soon turned panicked and disorganized as he scanned the areas up ahead for Sephiroth.

Previously, Cloud had assumed that Sephiroth would immediately reveal himself as he waited for him atop the flowerbeds and hill near Aerith’s home. It’d been quite the difficult feat to assure both Aerith and Elmyra that he was fine, and that he needed to take a brisk, late morning stroll. Aerith wished to provide him some of her company, which in turn pressured Cloud to shun her away. He didn’t enjoy having to do such a cold thing to Aerith, but he found he had no other choice left at his disposal when she importunately begged and pleaded for the tenth time.

Having made up his mind that the ‘harsh and straight-forward’ path was the one that would maximize the results he sought out, Cloud bluntly stated to Aerith, “If I need your company, Aerith, I’ll ask for it.”

The results of uttering such a barbed comment naturally sent Aerith into a small fit of sadness. She began to exude confusion and pain, and her melliloquent voice turned broken and fearful. Elmyra remained vigilant and patient, however, and she only encouraged her daughter to respect Cloud’s wishes harmoniously.

Grateful they didn’t take it too personally, Cloud flew outside and began his quest for Sephiroth. He wished he could’ve enjoyed the mellisonant chirping of the birds as they flitted and soared above his head on the tops of trees and buildings. Cloud wanted more than anything else in the world to demerge into a secure environment where he would experience no fear, see no evil, and feel no pain…

If only such things were indeed a grand part of what the universe had planned for him, however. As always, that was far too much to ask for.

Heart inflamed with hopes of seeking vengeance by the time he realized he’d waited for Sephiroth for nearly two hours among the blossoming flowers, Cloud cursed the other man up and down until he’d run out of terse words. His tongue had never before uttered and formed such perverse things. No, he’d often lauded and worshipped his power of language, reserving the gentlest of encouraging phrases and sentimental thoughts for Tifa and Aerith so much that to even curse at the sky as he had been for however briefly made him shudder.

Cloud was prideful, Cloud knew he was quite self-aware, but he never considered himself to be vain and egotistical. Mortification flooded through himself when he realized just how much power he’d given to Sephiroth-who had yet to even reveal himself-to bring out the worst in him.

But he was a young creature, and he often made mistakes. As such, an errant, fiery Cloud Strife grit his teeth, grinding his molars roughly together as he snarled, “Come on out! Show yourself to me, you fiend!”

Only the wind replied, a harsh, but realistic companion.

Cloud gazed above, hoping to find at least a few dark feathers fluttering down from another dimension, perhaps, but of course, there was nothing. Heavy silence extended and permeated all across Aerith’s garden. What had Cloud been expecting? Even now, as he spun around in a complete circle with his Twin Stinger hoisted on his back, he couldn’t find anything but the warm gales of smoky air picking up.

A storm was on the way, no doubt, and it only infuriated Cloud even more. Almost petulantly, he clenched his fists as he roared to the sky, “COME ON! I’M HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE!!”

Throat raw and sore, he cleared it, training his conflicted eyes to the dark clouds and occasional flashes of lightning in the distance. The wind blew through his hair, and he repressed a shiver climbing up his spine as he waited impatiently.

_‘He’s not coming…’_

Forlornly, the stubborn youth picked up his pace, running back through the woods he frequented in times of need. There may have been another way, and he clung to that hope like a fish hanging on a worm dangling from a hook. His heart thrummed and sped in his ears and chest, while the thunder above boomed and clashed violently, almost akin to the foreboding, beating drums of a giant.

Nothing stopped Cloud, however. He made his journey through the powerful wind, and as he shielded his face from the mild drizzle pouring down on him, he failed to notice a few ghostly Whispers observing him among the trees.

The way in which he moved grew less galliard when fallen leaves hit him in the face. Sputtering as he nearly collapsed a few times, Cloud had to focus on not tripping over fallen branches and broken twigs before he recognized that he’d crossed familiar territory. Yes, he could rely on the small patch of earth that he’d used to sit on as he gazed down at the cool brook.

The clear waters moved quickly, now, the beginnings of the storm having a mind of its own as nature took over. Each and every time the rough breezes touched his arm, it felt as though someone had burned his skin. A few times, Cloud had to double check that his flesh hadn’t suffered through ambustion; everything burned, and the temperature had no bearing on his bodily reactions.

Frustration mounted high in his mind and heart, manifesting itself in a bout of misery which caused Cloud to scream out, “YOU COWARD! FACE ME!” As much as his throat and vocal cords were burning, it couldn’t even hold a candle to how badly Cloud felt as though his skin was melting…

Just when he’d been entertaining thoughts of shouting for minutes on end once more, Cloud felt a strong gust of wind blowing against the back of his head. New shivers danced along his spine, and it was all wrapped up with the sound of soft feathers of a wing fluttering.

“Sephiroth.”

“You called?”

The cold, snarky voice sounded so close, and Cloud turned around to face his archenemy. He found the taller male dressed in his usual gear and apparel, looking calm and composed as ever. His eyes bore no secrets, told no tales, and he seemed far too collected in comparison to Cloud.

When Sephiroth quirked a pale brow expectantly, Cloud hissed, “Did you want to take more of your sweet time while I ran about the forest looking like a jackass?”

Finally, the smallest indication that Cloud’s recalcitrance had disrupted Sephiroth’s general state of refinement revealed itself across the older ex-SOLDIER’s sharp eyes. A deadly glint appeared, leaving far too quickly for any random person to truly notice. Cloud, however, was certainly _not_ just any random person, and he caught onto Sephiroth’s ire.

Calm demeanor drawing to a desinent halt, Sephiroth murmured neutrally, “Even when summoning me, you must play the part of a bratty child.”

Frowning in confusion, Cloud began, “What are you—”

Swiftly, with a loud ‘click’, Sephiroth snapped his fingers as he mordantly threw out, “Do you suppose that I’ll bend to your every beck and call at _any_ hour of the day?”

Annoying as he was in his approach and delivery, Cloud was more affronted by the inconvenient exaggeration Sephiroth had summarized his actions with. Scowling mightily, he clenched his fists at his sides as he bellowed out, “It’s not like I’m asking for too much!”

And it wasn’t. Whatever the heck Sephiroth had been occupying his time with, whatever mindless activity that happened to be, clearly, it wasn’t as important as the silver-haired male wanted it to seem like. This was probably another part of teasing, toying with his prey, and making them grow weak before he swooped in and caused irreparable harm.

In the heavy silence, Sephiroth’s eyes slid down to Cloud’s lower torso, and for the first time in ages, Cloud felt naked under someone else’s stare. What was that look, anyway? He didn’t know, he couldn’t comprehend what purpose it supposedly served, but Cloud knew he wasn’t too fond of being on the receiving end of such an odd look…especially from Sephiroth.

Before his mind could wander, Cloud nodded up sternly at the taller male. Gesturing down at his arm which welled up with pain and abnormal tingling sensations, he refocused their attention to this new, urgent matter through symbols and signs rather than words. Sephiroth seemed to understand him, however; he smirked in a knowing manner, and his eyes twinkled with devious intentions. 

“Fix it,” Cloud urged desperately, shoving his dark arm into Sephiroth’s face. “Fix it, _now_.”

Eyebrows flying up in mild surprise, Sephiroth sighed, “It isn’t something I can fix, I’ll have you know.”

To Cloud’s ears, that sounded akin to the worst, most offensive kind of alogism. Usually, he would sooner cut his own tongue from his mouth before ever daring to ask Sephiroth for his help. Why, even relaying it back in his own mind caused clonic tremors to crawl up and down his arm. The spasmodic sensations became impossible to repress. In fact, the bizarre reaction that seemed more like a coarctation of an appropriate emotional response was all Cloud displayed, much to Sephiroth’s sheer amusement, and much to the younger male’s chagrin.

Mentally, Cloud was already doling out a stern lecture to himself. _‘No, now’s not the time to be sorrowful! Sephiroth feeds on that, and I’m giving him exactly what he wants.’_

Sephiroth’s altiloquence was too grating to bear for another moment. The pompous speech had crept up on Cloud’s final nerve, and it presented itself in a deep frown etched all over his face. Nose scrunched up as though he’d scented a foul odor, his teeth revealed themselves beneath his pulled back lips, giving him quite a feral, depraved appearance.

Sephiroth was put off by it, and he huffed while studying Cloud’s form. “That look is rather unbecoming of you,” he opinionated sternly. “Don’t frown that way; you’ll mar your skin.”

When he reached up to prod a finger into Cloud’s forehead, the shorter male batted his hand away ferociously. “Don’t!” Cloud admonished with a low growl. “What have you done to me?”

Sephiroth lowered his arm, thankfully, but his cold demeanor had yet again returned to himself. While the wind churned about the two men standing before one another, Cloud’s heart sank deeply into his gut. Quite a number of times, he’d felt this way before. Something primal and innate, deeply rooted in his instincts warned him that something horrible was aligned and destined to greet him. The familiar sensation had often visited him prior to an attack, often as a last-minute warning of sorts. It followed him all throughout his missions before, and it’d also haunted him every step of the way when he’d joined Avalanche in bombing the first Marko reactor.

Would it ever leave him alone? Was this constantly to be a solid part of his new lifestyle, then? Well. Truthfully, Cloud saw himself eventually growing accustomed to that misery, but he personally preferred suffering through that travesty _without_ Sephiroth playing a large role in it.

But then again, if the universe ever gave him what he most wanted, Cloud knew he wouldn’t be here having this conversation with Sephiroth to begin with.

Finally ready to speak, Sephiroth calmly stated, “The mark you’ve been given _is_ the purpose and foundation of our connection.” Studying it intently, the older male concluded succinctly, “It hurts, doesn’t it? It sears and burns you, keeping you awake at all hours of the dark night, doesn’t it?”

Grimly, Cloud mumbled, “Yes…but you’ve done this to me to destroy and take away anything I have found!” Scratching away desperately at his arm, he resorted to tearing off the little bandanna and whipping it to the grass. “I want this gone! Whatever it is, Sephiroth, remove it!”

Turning his nose up almost snobbishly at Cloud, Sephiroth intoned, “Geostigma.”

Thrown off guard abruptly, Cloud blinked a few times before he asked with attitude dripping from his words, “What did you call me?”

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth snapped shortly, “It wasn’t an insult. You’re rather short-sighted, aren’t you?”

Ignoring the real insult, there, Cloud pushed through his anger as he repeated, “What was that?”

Noticing how he remained on the warpath in the tumultuous situation, Sephiroth explained indifferently, “Now’s not the time to delve into this, Cloud. The only thing you need to remember is that there’s a time and place designated, and we’re not anywhere near when it needs to be.”

“More bullshit for me, then,” Cloud sighed, shivering when a few raindrops pelted down on top of his head. There was an old adage swimming through Cloud’s head as the icy rain crashed over him, and he had to wonder just how much worse things could really get from this point on.

…On second thought, did he _really_ need to even ponder that?

No. Cloud decided not to wander there.

Eyes wandering his face with quite an intense, curious fixation, Sephiroth pointed out, “Geostigma is what’s ailing you, and I can’t profess to a method of removing it.”

Shifting his weight back and forth between his feet, Cloud abruptly hissed, “Excuses and more bullshit.”

The use of such sour language finally took its toll on Sephiroth. Composure and demeanor no longer poised and graceful, he frowned in equal amounts of annoyance as Cloud had done previously. Shaking his head curtly, he venomously complained, “Such language is unseemly and unbecoming of you. I highly encourage you to re-think how you speak, Cloud.”

Resisting the urge to facepalm, Cloud expressed bitterly, “Of _all_ things to get stuck on, you’re picking on how I talk?” Slighted to the point where he felt he was becoming drained, Cloud weakly added, “I highly encourage _you_ to get this off me, before you regret ever having done it!”

As loudly and as strongly as he’d worked that point from his lips, Cloud felt he still had nothing in comparison to Sephiroth’s influence. The man’s mere presence informed him that he had no chips to barter. He literally had no reach, and he had no idea why he was asking and pleading with Sephiroth to help him. As if Sephiroth would ever stoop and bend to help, anyway…this was as meaningless as forcing a Chocobo to breed with a Smogger. It wouldn’t ever happen, and Cloud was already holding compunctions for appearing so needy before Sephiroth.

Turning his face towards the heavens above, Sephiroth suggested, “We should get out of the rain, first, don’t you think?”

For once, Cloud hated that he had to agree with his enemy.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Peeking many times at the mark, Cloud felt his injury bleeding through to his anger. This thing had no purpose to be here other than to just annoy him. His skin felt like it was melting, but when he was whisked away to a replica of Mako Reactor 1, he ceased caring about the pain. Everything had been untouched in this realm, much in the same way prior to Cloud and Avalanche sneaking in and disrupting the place. Even a few guards wandered about, but they couldn’t see Cloud or Sephiroth. If anything, they were mere puppets and décor for the simulated environment, and they hardly even moved as they stood about in their respective positions throughout the halls.

Glaring at the back of Sephiroth’s head for bringing him here, Cloud threw out in distaste, “How appropriate.”

A gaminesque gleam bounced forth from Sephiroth’s eyes as he turned about to face Cloud. Nodding once at the shorter male, Sephiroth purred in amusement, “I thought it would make you feel more comfortable for our Reunion.”

Resisting the urge to shove him square in the chest, Cloud roared powerfully, “There you go using that word again! We have _no_ such thing going on, here!” With heavy emphasis, he bit out, “There is _no_ connection between us, and there _never_ will be one!”

His boisterous cries knocked and reached into every corner of the halls, but Sephiroth remained indifferent and aloof to his vitriolic emotions raging and channeling through his words and tone. Crossing his arms over his chest, the elite warrior calmly stated, “Your preference doesn’t signify or play a part in the fates, Cloud. The fact is that I _am_ a part of you, I _will_ remain a part of you, and that can’t be undone…no matter how badly you shout, by the way.”

_‘He had to sneak that one in, too…’_

Face heating up, Cloud was quick to argue, “I know I still have a lot to remember and uncover, but one thing I won’t _ever_ forget is that _you_ were responsible for burning my hometown, and in doing so, you killed my family!!”

Meeting his angry glare in quite the headstrong manner, Sephiroth smirked coldly. “Still whining and gnawing away on that, I see…” Chuckling briskly, he supplied, “I feel _so_ much of this planet’s pain, Cloud. I see so much, and I meant it when I told you that I would be loathe to live in a world where you’re not by my side.”

These words…Cloud had heard them once before back when he assumed he was seeing and experiencing odd things due to Mako fumes heavily impacting himself. However, the way in which Sephiroth delivered the exact words now portrayed a vastly important world of difference. Back then, amid the flames burning brightly, among the thick, heavy clouds of smoke and ash, Sephiroth was at the peak of his mysterious proclamations. Esteem too lightly underestimated; Cloud had felt morbid dread and impending losses he had yet to suffer through.

But that was then, and this was now…something had changed. Perhaps it was Sephiroth’s approach, perhaps it was each tendril of his whispered words taking a physical life of their own and riveting through Cloud potently. Or, perhaps it was none of these things at all. Maybe the answer lay in the gentled look flying across Sephiroth’s luminous eyes, making them appear brighter than ever, but not with malice…with something else…something far more dangerous and visceral.

Feeling his eyes turning dry, Cloud blinked once, mild tears forcing their way to his eyeballs. Not wanting Sephiroth to see them, he hurriedly turned away, dabbing at his eyes with the back of his gloved hands. Panic and raw frustration ate away at him, and he hated how Sephiroth leaned over his back with purpose. The ends of his long hair tickled his neck, and Cloud hissed at the sheer touch of it.

Smile practically visible through his damn voice, Sephiroth taunted him. “You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

Swiftly, Cloud roared, “No! I don’t!”

A heavy boot stomping down behind him said otherwise. Quite intimidating, Sephiroth insisted and importunately whispered, “You do. This connection, Cloud…” Running his hand up and down Cloud’s smeared arm, he continued, “…It’s a symbol of how much stronger our bond has grown, and how much stronger it _will_ continue to grow…if you allow for it to do so.”

He didn’t want this. Cloud knew exactly what was going on, now, and he hated it all the more. He despised how his skin tingled and practically tickled in want of Sephiroth’s warm breath ghosting along the back of his neck…his body had already betrayed him, and Cloud was mortified. He wished the ground would just open up and pull him down into a quagmire that would ensure he’d never make it out or return to Sephiroth. Cloud would do anything in his power to flee from this creature.

As usual, the world turned a deaf ear to his wishes and internal woes. Everything continued as it normally would, and Cloud felt so alone in this moment. The lights beamed and glowed down into his eyes, and his head began to burst with fresh torment and pain.

Inhaling softly, but deeply, Sephiroth crooned a haunting melody in his ear. Cloud wasn’t capable of recognizing it, but something about the notes in the order they came out rang some odd bells within himself. It almost seemed like he somehow knew that tune…he’d heard it before somewhere…long ago, perhaps…

Abruptly cutting it off, Sephiroth’s next question posed more like a quip had been what ultimately caused Cloud’s knees to buckle and quake.

“Are you familiar with the concept of soul bonding, Cloud?”

Cloud would’ve crashed to the cold, hard floor had Sephiroth’s outstretched arms not been there to catch his weight right on time.

* * *

....Listen, if you’re worried about bonding with THIS Sephi, then I’ll take him. (Never thought I’d need to have a bearded Sephiroth in my life, but I’m SO glad this exists).


	7. Hammer and Anvil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth doesn't take rejection well.

“Stop looking at me like that; it’s weird!”

Lascivious slitted eyes gazed into his own, causing a weakened Cloud Strife to nearly pass out again. Much to his displeasure, he’d fainted after Sephiroth’s burning question…and right into the damn man’s arms, no less.

What an embarrassing ordeal.

Sephiroth had calmly carried Cloud to a large, grand bedroom of sorts. A four-poster ruby colored bed sat in the middle of the cozy room, and after lying Cloud in the center of it carefully, the other man merely sat back in a chair close to a fireplace and watched until Cloud slowly regained consciousness.

Clutching at his head and arm, Cloud turned over a few times until his vision and pounding head steadied themselves. Righting himself up in the bed, he glared forth at Sephiroth, and then at his arm. The mark persisted, and he groaned in anguish once he realized that Sephiroth wasn’t going to make it go away.

Propping a hand beneath his shapely chin, an ingenious expression colored Sephiroth’s features. “Are you ready to listen, now?” Witticism oozing off every word he spoke, he sat up and grinned like a wild beast roaming free.

“A soul bond—”

“I’m not having _any_ of it,” Cloud rebuked quickly, leaping off the bed and onto his feet. While Sephiroth gazed longingly into the fire rising steadily in the grand fireplace, Cloud headed for the only dark door to the room. After trying the knob, he found it to be locked.

Of course.

Turning himself midway around, but not looking at Sephiroth, Cloud demanded acutely, “Let me out. Unlock this door!”

“I’m afraid I haven’t finished yet, Cloud,” came the drawl from a less than complacent Sephiroth. Though he didn’t move from his spot on the chair, Cloud slowly rotated completely so he at least caught a glimpse of the side of his captor’s features.

Cloud didn’t want to admit it, but the refined manner Sephiroth remained seated, coupled with the occasional shadow and glimmer of light emanating from the fireplace brightly illuminated every curve and texture that made up Sephiroth’s handsome visage.

Perhaps in another realm, Sephiroth may have been a potentate ruler…or an infamously staunch King…

Refocusing abruptly on his major outburst instead of gawking at his foe, Cloud barked out petulantly, “This is all in my head! You’re not real! I know for a fact that you’re gone, but you somehow keep playing with my mind!” Running a gloved hand through his hair, he was surprised to discover that he had no headaches, nor did he possess the symptoms and signs of severe head injury.

Eyeing him wearily, almost, Sephiroth huffed, “Still so eager to play the fool, aren’t you, Cloud?” Lips drawn back in a ferocious, but silent snarl, Sephiroth slowly rose from his seat. As he did so, the motion made his long, dark coat slide off the chair and creep down to his boots. Sephiroth broadened his already wide, muscular chest, and as he stood to his full height, he dwarfed Cloud with his high shadows scaling up the walls behind himself.

Fractiously, Cloud glared away from him, turning his face to the side once Sephiroth tried reaching out for him. Undeterred, however, the older man snuck a few fingers sharply beneath Cloud’s chin and cupped it in a tight grip.

Slowly forcing Cloud to meet his eyes, Sephiroth began in a deep rumble, “I will _not_ end. Those replicas you engaged in battle with were mere puppets and pets, Cloud.”

Perhaps he was reaching, but Cloud softly asked, “Puppets? You mean…clones?”

Gaia, it sounded so stupid and ignorant to recapitulate it that way. Trying it again, Cloud frowned, quickly flowing through his disorganized thoughts. Gingerly, he began to wonder whether Sephiroth was even from this time. Could he have been from the future? Would that even apply? Of course, he’d seen Sephiroth already bending and twisting the fabrics of reality along with the Whispers. It seemed plausible, but Cloud wasn’t convinced enough to toss that all off as a ‘coincidence’ set and aligned by unavoidable future events.

“Think, Cloud,” Sephiroth urged hotly, his breath gliding over Cloud’s cheeks and nose. “The Lifestream.”

Unable to follow him, Cloud shook his head. “I don’t understand…”

Smiling, though not in an unfriendly way, Sephiroth expounded, “It’s been established that the Lifestream serves as an omniscient entity that has a predetermined script for the world to follow.” Placing a hand over his chest, first, Sephiroth nodded again at Cloud. With the young man observing closely, now, Sephiroth’s grip fell from his chin right down to his left hand. Clutching it far too intimately, the taller, older male then held it up and slammed it over the left side of his chest.

His heart thrummed once, and Cloud leapt back in shock. Snatching his hand away, he nearly tripped over the rug and fell again. Thankfully, before he could make an ass out of himself, he latched onto the wall, bracing his weight over it while taking in labored breaths.

“Wh-what’s happening?”

The rhetorical question ebbed between both men, and Cloud cursed himself for even daring to look at Sephiroth’s pale chest beneath his coat’s open center. Shaking his head, Cloud willed for himself to snap out of it and never look at the other man’s exposed skin ever again.

Ignoring his plight, Sephiroth whispered as though telling a bedtime story to Marlene or another young child. “When you killed me, after having fallen into the Lifestream, I was able to gain some of this omniscient knowledge.” Seemingly proud and overjoyed at this, Sephiroth inched towards Cloud, his unctuous smile never disappearing from his face.

Wincing, Cloud offered shyly, “It sounds like I did you a favor, then?”

Not yet pausing in his approach, Sephiroth cooed, “Oh, yes. I’ve changed, since then.” Chuckling in an oddly pleasantly manner that Cloud wouldn’t normally associate with Sephiroth, the silver-haired male continued.

“I can see and feel things as they occur, before they occur, and even after they’ve occurred. Destiny can be altered, Cloud.”

As convoluted and ingratiating as this sounded, Cloud had to guess that somehow, Sephiroth was aware of certain things that likely would cause far too much in the way of damaging the future of the planet.

Worried, now, the blonde steadied himself back on his legs as he snarled, “It doesn’t matter! Once I’m better, I’ll beat you, again!”

Instead of being offended or taken aback by this outburst, Sephiroth merely threw his head back and laughed. Sephiroth laughing wasn’t something Cloud was privy to often, and it shocked him right down to his toes. He didn’t know why, but Sephiroth laughing heartily at his threats didn’t exactly trouble him as much as imminent danger had, the threat of an invasion had, or simply bickering with Barret or Tifa would bring to himself stress-wise.

No, rather than sensing those things, Cloud only stood by and watched until Sephiroth decided he’d had enough of his thrilling in his own amusement.

Studying one of his hands coolly, an insouciant shrug was then drawn from Sephiroth. “I don’t fear failure in the way you may think, Cloud.”

That admission was received like a harsh slap to the face. Although still exhausted, weak, and nauseous, Cloud suspected that in some way, Sephiroth eerily knew of a crucial part of the future. What window had he peeked through? What voice had whispered in his ear?

 _‘He knows he will fail in the future after taking a peek at the script._ _This is why he can act against the Whispers, against fate that the planet has put in place, and no one else can.’_

The theory Cloud entertained in his mind sounded far too wild even for himself, but at this point, hanging by a thread of his own desperations, he was willing to consider it for as long as he could until it was either disproven, or a greater, more concrete theory beat it down.

Taking a solid step back, Cloud intoned carefully with a pained grimace, “All along, what I was led to believe was a lie, wasn’t it?”

The truth had finally hit home for Cloud the moment Sephiroth winked at him. As sultry and as creepy as it was, Cloud knew that the entire time, Sephiroth had played him like a damn fiddle. It was outrageous, but he knew he should’ve been prepared for it in some way. After all, this was of course _Sephiroth._ The egomaniacal bastard thought very highly of himself, and he regarded his powers and skills as closely relatable to a God-like status. The games would never end; they were just beginning.

The Sephiroth at the end of the highway he’d battled with at the ‘edge of creation’ had been the one responsible for opening the singularity. But was that all?

….

No. Cloud didn’t suppose Sephiroth was ever acting alone, and he wanted to search after the drive, the impetus leading up to this very moment. Though his memories were foggy, he knew that Sephiroth had wanted him to experience _something_ , at the very least. A piece of the puzzle, though only those Sephiroth chose to reveal…

Clamping down over Cloud’s left shoulder, Sephiroth took a second to whisper in his ear, “Remember…remember Mother, Cloud…”

It felt like a mountain had crashed on top of him. Sephiroth’s mere touch had always brought him so much pain, but this time, it was far greater than anything Cloud had ever experienced. Intolerable wasn’t what he could describe it as, and to refer to it as ‘brutal’ was still undermining the searing, scorching pain. It felt like someone was opening him up from the inside, and he had to watch from the other side of the looking glass.

…And there was a glass…

_Sephiroth’s back was turned to him, and he wielded the Masamune in his left hand. Standing at ease, the flames engulfed him as he stood tall and whispered on and on. His voice left Cloud petrified and rooted to the spot, just like it always had, just like it always would._

_“Mother…let’s take back the planet together. I...I had an epiphany...let’s go to the promised land, mother.”_

_The flames roared mightily, and all of Nibelheim was sinking. Would there be any time left to reach his family? To save them?_

_“Mother, they’re here again. You should have ruled this planet. You were stronger, smarter. But then they came. Those inferior dullards. They came and took this planet away from you. But don’t be sad, mother. I am with you now.”_

_Cloud heard screams, felt the thudding and stomping of a hundred pairs of feet as people ran about to save their own loved ones while shouting despondently for them. Tossed into the cruelty of it all, he crawled through the piles of damage and rubble that had once served as his home. He was nearly out from all the fallen debris, when he heard the terrified wails of his own beloved mother…_

_“MOTHER!”_

_“I am with you now, Cloud…don’t worry…have no fear…”_

_It all ended finally when Sephiroth’s hollowed form appeared right in front of his wide eyes._

Breaking out of that painful vision, Cloud flung himself at the door, but was misdirected. Crashing into Sephiroth’s arms and chest, Cloud held on for dear life as his blood froze, and then melted heatedly in his veins. It was boiling with anger he knew he wouldn’t be able to contain, and more than anything, he wanted to regain his strength and run Sephiroth over and over, through and through with every weapon he possessed.

Then again, even if he accomplished that, it still wouldn’t be enough, and they both knew it.

Now that he was so closely and tightly wrapped in Sephiroth’s arms, the more experienced ex-SOLDIER nestled his nose into Cloud’s unruly hair as he deeply purred at the height of satisfaction. “Stay with me, Cloud. We can _both_ grow stronger, _together._ ”

Pulling away just so he could study Sephiroth, Cloud trembled weakly like a small mouse trapped in the claws of a lion. His breath hitched in his throat as Sephiroth brushed his hair away from his eyes, smiling resolutely as he did so.

Gazing past Cloud’s questioning, maddening gaze, Sephiroth orated smoothly, “Take your rightful place by my side; let our souls link together, let our strengths dwell within the new order of our new planet.” Almost perversely, he drew himself infinitely closer, aiming to drive his words directly into Cloud’s ears. “Let’s do our best…together.”

This was…this was a true bonding…that’s what Sephiroth had been offering the entire time, and Cloud nearly slapped himself for not understanding his message sooner when he had the chance. Sephiroth had been right; he didn’t wish to harm Cloud…he wanted their Reunion to merge, and he wanted Cloud as a manipulated, controlled catalyst to change everything.

Sephiroth wanted to change the future.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

As arrogant and pigheaded as Cloud could be at times, it was still far too bizarre to come to terms with the fact that after Sephiroth had asked him to stay, Cloud had reacted poorly by slapping the other man soundly across the face. That had to go in the books for the most idiotic thing Cloud Strife could’ve ever hoped to accomplish, but he’d done it all the same. Denying it was fruitless. His open hand had connected roughly with Sephiroth’s left cheek, sounding louder than the crackling of fresh wood added into the hearth of the fireplace.

Sephiroth didn’t immediately release him, but the slap had most assuredly knocked some sense into him. He held back, face contorting and twisting into confusion, first, and then in sheer anger. Cloud knew Sephiroth could’ve stopped him from even laying one finger on him if he wanted, and he was dazed beyond belief as to why and how Sephiroth let him get away with it in the first place. Wasn’t it a massive blow to the man’s over-inflated ego?

…On second thought, why had he even _slapped_ Sephiroth? Wouldn’t a punch do the trick since he didn’t have a single weapon on his person?

Yes…it would have. Unfortunately, theorizing about it and regretting it until next week wouldn’t alter the fact that Cloud Strife had slapped Sephiroth, who had angrily disconnected him from his simulated environment half a second later. The pain received after having Sephiroth’s Masamune buried once in his abdomen, and then twice in his shoulder wasn’t worth it. Cloud had to rethink the entire chain of events, and he did the moment he limped back to his own room.

His presence brought about much confusion and awe within Sector 7’s residents. They followed him, assaulting him with a slew of questions had no time for. When had he turned into a celebrity, again? 

…Crap! It didn’t matter ‘when’! He just needed some privacy!

Cloud managed to fight them all off, slamming his door and shoving a chair beneath the knob to keep people out. However, that was as effective as fighting Abzu while inebriated. Tifa soon powerfully kicked in Cloud’s door, storming in confidently after she warded off the others who dared to still worm their way in.

Drawing Cloud’s curtains, she then crossed her arms over her chest as she stood before him and glared at him.

Wincing as he felt her eyes practically burning holes into the top of his head, Cloud craned his neck up, and he offered his childhood friend a curt nod. She didn’t return it, and Cloud knew immediately that he was in a lot of trouble.

Where to begin?

Scratching the back of his head as he rummaged through his troublesome thoughts, he began sheepishly, “Everything alright?”

Stomping her foot into the floor, Tifa coldly bit out one word at a time, “No, Cloud. Everything’s not ‘alright’.”

Worried that something had happened to Zack, Cloud inquired nervously, “Zack? Is he okay?”

“Well,” Tifa sighed, massaging her temples for a moment, “he’s certainly not in a coma anymore, which _is_ great, but he’s scared out of his mind, Cloud.”

 _‘So am I, Tifa.’_ That had been on the tip of his tongue, but there was no way he could voice it aloud. Tifa wasn’t a force to be reckoned with, and Cloud knew above all else, his own woes and misery couldn’t hold a candle to the suffering Zack and Aerith had experienced.

How could he look them in the eyes and argue that? How could he be that selfish?

Setting his troubles in a box and tossing them deeply into a well, Cloud refined his approach. Not half as nervously, this time around, he asked plainly, “I want to see him, Tifa. Please, let me do this.”

Holding up an index finger, Tifa warned, “There are a few conditions, first, Cloud.” When she had his attention in the form of a single, plaintive nod, she continued.

“You have to let Aerith go in with you, first of all.”

“Done deal.”

Glaring at him for interrupting her, she sighed softly. “Right. Condition two, you are _not_ to talk about the war, Shinra, _or_ Sephiroth!”

….

And right away, as the last bits of hope manifesting themselves in the promise of an answer had started budding, they were all taken away. He was robbed of the chance that he could somehow fight through this, and Cloud immediately showed his displeasure all over his face.

Expression softening for a moment, Tifa nudged him, and then lightly shook him when he didn’t stir. “Cloud, don’t be like that!” she chided mildly as she hugged him quickly. “Once Zack’s one hundred percent, you can ask him anything you want! But for now, this request needs to be respected because Aerith means a lot to Zack, and he means a lot to—”

“To her, yeah,” Cloud interrupted as he pulled his long-sleeved dark trench coat over his form. Along the way back to his room, Cloud managed to locate a discarded coat hanging from the open door of an abandoned hut. Placing it around himself and going under the excuse that he was cold aided him in avoiding gaumless questions about his attire.

As long as the mark had been hidden away, he would be fine.

Noticing his vacant stares thrown across the room, an irritable Tifa Lockhart growled and shook Cloud by his shoulders. “Well?!? What’re you waiting for, you silly goose! Come on!”

Holding up both hands, Cloud stated, “Alright, I agree, and I promise I won’t do…err…all of the stuff you told me I can’t do.”

Embracing him in the most comforting of ways, Tifa chirked him on as she then led him all the way up to the medical cabin Zack had been resting in. Cloud’s nerves weren’t easy to control as he made the journey. Even though he had Tifa with himself, and Aerith stood to greet them in the doorway with a warm smile on her face, his belly flip flopped many times. He was glad he hadn’t eaten anything; he would’ve likely thrown it all out due to how crazy he felt.

Pushing past the door, Cloud peeked inside past Aerith, and as soon as he had, the young woman stood on her toes and pressed her index finger over her rose-colored lips. “Shh!” she nodded at both Tifa and Cloud. “He’s a bit loopy, so try not to make too many loud noises, please!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Cloud muttered, and he again glanced up over Aerith’s brown hair and onto the bed. In spite of the absurdity displayed by Sephiroth hours earlier, when Cloud’s eyes met that of his best friend Zack Fair’s, the young man suddenly felt a huge wave of elation and tranquility seep into his heart.

Zack had bags under his eyes, just like Biggs, but he held up an arm and slowly waved at Cloud while a goofy, lopsided smirk carved its way onto his lips. “Steady there, SOLDIER,” he joked with a playful gleam in his eyes shining brightly.

“Zack…” Without another word, Cloud tore away from Tifa and Aerith, and he dove for the side of the bed. Landing roughly on his knees, he clutched at Zack’s arm, and the other young man with messy dark hair returned his firm grip in a familiar, friendly greeting.

Forcing himself not to cry, Cloud permitted Zack to drape an arm about his neck and pull him into a closer hug. When Cloud whimpered involuntarily due to inhaling scents of the rain, fresh soil, as well as gunpowder, Zack hushed him softly.

Running his fingers gently through Cloud’s hair, he gently urged, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, buddy. I’m fine, see?”

Trying his best to get a grip and ‘man up’, Cloud sat himself down on a small stool next to the bed. Not removing his hand from around Zack’s wrist, he carefully whispered, “Zack, h-how do you feel?” More questions danced on the tip of his tongue, but Cloud had to applaud himself for not allowing the more serious, spurious ones to flow freely.

Face a bit of a primrose shade, Zack turned to his side, bandages and sheets draped around his form as he grinned coyly. “I feel like shit, Cloud,” came his blunt response, which earned him a pout from Aerith. “I think I’ll live, though! As they always said to me during training: ‘nothing can keep me down!’”

Chuckling and enjoying the few moments of easy-going laughter, Cloud sighed as all the wondrous memories came back to him. Wanting to comment on that, he gently brought up, “Do you remember much?”

Eyes shifting, Zack slowly replied, “An explosion went off, I think…I don’t know…” Face scrunched up like he’d sampled something foul, Zack supplied, “…I was the last one…Shinra soldiers were all around me…”

With a loud huff, Aerith interrupted as she joined them at the edge of the bed. “Cloud!” she shrieked as she lightly swatted her friend. “You aren’t supposed to talk about this!”

Laughing at his girlfriend’s over-protectiveness, Zack waved her off as he stated calmly, “Aerith, it’s okay. Talking about this may help me, actually.”

Catching on to that, Cloud frowned as he inquired, “Help you with what? Memories?”

Had that been the connection? Was Zack also experiencing broken and disorganized memories that seemed to be sending out a message, but never stuck around long enough for the pieces to fit together?

Patiently waiting as best as he could, Cloud leaned on the edge of his seat while Tifa and Aerith nervously exchanged worried looks. The two beautiful women were generous enough not to interrupt anymore, but Cloud already sensed how troubled and concerned they were growing by the minute. Aerith especially had every right to be this concerned over her recovering lover. Cloud wasn’t one to deny or take that away from her, but he couldn’t help it. Once the Pandora’s Box had been opened, he was more than willing to see what was inside.

An almost eerie, dank presence loomed over Zack, suddenly. Cloud had been the only one among his tiny group of friends to identify it, but it remained there. Whatever this odd entity happened to be, Cloud didn’t feel or sense any ‘good vibes’ from it. To the contrary, the way Zack was staring off into empty space so blankly almost like he had been possessed or bewitched was—

Bangs cascading slowly over his forehead and curtaining his eyes, Zack commented in a somber tone, “I don’t th-think I c-can remember much. Just a lot of gunfire, screaming, and bad stuff.” Sheepishly, he clung to his blankets as he forced himself to go on. “For a while, I couldn’t e-even see straight. Then, when I killed every l-last one of them, there was an explosion…Gaia…it was so bright…so bright…”

Almost vacuously, when he’d finished, Zack giggled as he hung his head and then played with one end of his sheets. It was rather unbecoming of him to do this, and the eccentric behavioral shift didn’t sit well with the observant nature within Cloud.

But he had to forcefully remind himself that as Tifa had alerted him prior to his arrival, Zack _wasn’t_ in his true, stable frame of mind, yet. He had to give it some time.

Aerith sat near the foot of the bed, while Tifa paced back and forth around the room. Wanting to remain optimistic before Zack nodded off into a hopefully pleasant rest, Cloud gently expressed, “Well, either way, it’s great to have you here with us again, Zack. We all missed you, especially your soul-bond, Aerith!”

….

The reactions he received at once were a muddled mess. Everyone in the cabin responded in their own unique way. Tifa let out a confused squeak, Zack’s eyebrows rose high, and Aerith scowled with utmost vehemence aimed right for Cloud. With the swipe of her hand, she snatched his ‘healthy’ arm in a tight grip that would’ve otherwise snapped someone’s bones.

“Cloud, I need to speak with you for a moment.” Briefly, she nodded at Tifa, who seemed even more confused than Cloud did. Silently, however, she hurried over to Zack, sitting where Aerith once had been, her hands in her lap.

As Cloud was half-dragged out of the cabin, he looked back over shoulder at Zack. Already, the renowned hero was fast asleep.


	8. Arcane Land

Only Aerith’s smoldering, scathingly ferocious scowl was enough to reduce Cloud to his early teenage years. He’d already surmised and gathered that she was majorly angry with him due to her scarlet veneer, rigid body posture and closed-off gestures, but he didn’t quite understand _why._

Well, he somewhat did. _‘Maybe it’s because I talked about war and fighting?’_

Deciding to try that out while he had time, still, Cloud prayed Aerith wouldn’t explode as he gently offered, “I’m sorry for talking about the war?” He abhorred the way in which his voice spoke that out like a damn question or a doubt. He _shouldn’t_ have been in doubt!

Tossing him another intensely accusatory look, an ornery Aerith grumbled moodily, “Think again, Cloud!”

He didn’t want to say it, but he already had an idea of what she was driving at, now. Truthfully, Cloud was a little ashamed of himself. As the starry night sky with all its tantalizing sights hovering among the occasional cloud of smoke gazed down upon the two friends, Aerith’s eyes narrowed in deep scrutiny. Cloud knew he was caught, and he didn’t wish to lie to Aerith anymore. He cared about her enormously, and he couldn’t live a single day with the guilt that was associated with lying to her and betraying her trust. But as Red had once told him, sometimes, doing things the ‘right, proper way’ wouldn’t reap success.

Cloud was starting to view this situation in much the same way, which was why contrary to his better judgement, he’d slipped into his SOLDIER interrogation and psychological assessment methods by breaching the code of honor and promise in order to sneak his question almost casually in the conversation with Zack. Sadly, he didn’t suppose subtlety was a successful quality he possessed, anymore.

Contemptuously throwing him an inquisitive look he couldn’t avoid, Aerith ground out, “Soul bonds? Whatever made you want to bring _that_ topic up, Cloud?”

She was right, and he hated himself for it.

Shrugging while a pained expression sat on his face, he offered meekly, “I…I w-was just c-curious about it because…I…umm…”

Leaning close to him when he remained stalling for a good enough excuse, Aerith’s eyebrows quirked up, and her eyes widened in quite the animated fashion. “Yes, Cloud? You were curious about it because…?” Her voice trailed off on the end of her sentence, there, and she wove her right hand about through the air in circular motions, indicative that he had to carry on and provide the reasoning.

_‘Think, think, think! Fast! I can’t say a word to her about Sephiroth! Not now, because he’s likely watching and listening, too! It’s too dangerous!’_

Clearing his throat quickly, Cloud briskly pressed out almost in a jumbled mess, “Because…I heard Marle talking about it with Red!”

….

Aerith squinted at him for a moment, seemingly not believing him, and Cloud held his breath. His heart rate slowed down, and then picked up, and he began sweating in a nervous reaction. Counting down the seconds for when she would call him out on his bullshit lie, he could only hope and pray she would go easy on him.

Above and all around, scintillating stars bounced and gleamed off their eyes, cast down light into the crystal cool surfaces of the pond flowing by, illuminated puddles and ripples among the ground and grass, and then it stilled. Shades of grey, white, red, and blue, all emanating from rooftops and lights set around buildings blended and meshed together, spiraling and twisting about almost in a chaotic mess just as scrambled as Cloud’s thoughts.

….

Suddenly, a large grin formed along Aerith’s face, and she jumped back while cooing at him. “Aww, Cloud! That’s very interesting!!”

Right away, Cloud relaxed, feeling his once uptight and stiff posture breaking away beneath Aerith’s friendly demeanor. _‘Woah…that was close! Nailed it!’_

Tapping a finger gently over her chin while she paced before him, her little pink ribbon used to hold her hair up bounced lightly in the wind and in time with her movements. “That’s odd how they would be discussing it so randomly!” Aerith pointed out, pausing before she shrugged. “Oh well! Guess it can’t be helped!”

This reeled in Cloud’s curiosity, and cautiously, he inquired, “Err, what _is_ a soul bond, anyway?”

Evidently, his inquiry had been viewed as an egregious one. Aerith gasped, her mouth open in an ‘o’ shape while her eyes turned as wide as small saucers. “Cloud! Soul bonding is a very complicated form of bonding many Cetra often practiced!”

It sounded unusual, and his curiosity chased after more answers as he inched closer to Aerith in case anyone else was lingering outside and within earshot.

“So, this soul bonding thing, what does it do?”

Worrying her lower lip between her teeth, a serious form of tension revealed itself in her face and body posture. Wringing her hands, she spoke out in a flustered manner, “Think of it like marriage between two spirits, Cloud. That’s the best way I can think of it! All I know is that it’s very intense and serious, and it’s not something to be taken lightly!”

Cloud’s blonde eyebrows soared high and hid beneath his bangs as he fell prey to his personal merycism. The young man experienced an inexplicable apprehension as a single, specific word truly had been solely responsible for his reverent worries and fears rising to the surface of his thoughts.

In a whimper, he repeated, “M-marriage?! It’s a m-m-marriage?”

Crap. He wasn’t even able to spit the word out without stammering like a fool. Not that he could find fault within himself for such a reaction in the first place. Unbeknownst to everyone, Cloud knew he was purposefully withholding a lot of important information. Sephiroth had not only terrorized and tortured him for a few weeks, now, but he’d also been draining him emotionally and psychologically. Cloud hadn’t gotten a single night’s worth of a deep, fulfilling rest since the querulous One-Winged Angel plagued him with such visceral nightmares, and quite soon, he was seriously positive that the ill-effects would eventually blast all traces of sanity from his mind.

What made everything worse, and what no doubt would ultimately be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was the fact that Cloud had next to no one to discuss this with. Cleverly, however, he deduced that this had been part of Sephiroth’s grand scheme.

_‘In the end, he wants for me to have no one to rely on…no one but himself.’_

Shivering due to this terrifying thought, Cloud had to also conclude to himself, _‘But Sephiroth was talking about a soul bond, and he knew what it was all this time…’_ Gaia, he could throw up, right about now. Just thinking about being _married_ to Sephiroth, of all creatures, was enough to make him dizzy and nauseous all over. If Aerith weren’t here so close to him, Cloud wouldn’t feel the least bit embarrassed to self-induce vomiting.

Nervously, however, he fidgeted as he coughed out with extreme anxiety, “Marriage? No…th-that’s…” Shaking himself back to anything in the way of ‘normalcy’, Cloud pieced his words together again. “That’s crazy, Aerith!”

Rolling her eyes, she exclaimed shortly, “It was tradition for many generations of Cetra, Cloud! It’s nothing crazy or silly! It was culture and tradition!”

Though she was scolding him, Cloud didn’t care much about being lectured on morals and ethics surrounding what the Cetra practiced. Point blank, he remained highly incredulous about this entire notion.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he gemented curtly, “Don’t care. If it’s for Cetra, and hasn’t been practiced since their time, then why do _you_ look so worried, Aerith?”

The moment the young woman blushed deeply and turned her face away from his scrutinizing gaze, Cloud knew she had plenty of her own secrets to hide. Already, Cloud was well aware of Aerith and her true heritage and powers. Surely, she had nothing else to hide from him, did she? If she did, that chilled him right down to every last bone in his body. Palms clammy and back dripping with heavy, salty sweat, he tried steadying his panicked heart as he took a step towards his friend.

“Aerith? What’re you—” His cautious question came to an abrupt and untimely interruption when he saw green eyes flashing at him in a warning while dark feathers floated down from the sky. At least ten feet away, Sephiroth glared forth at Cloud and Aerith. He hung back between a few thick, tall bushes, and he sneered as he pressed an index finger over his lips in a silent, symbolic warning that Cloud was going too far ahead in territories he had no business wandering in.

Biting his tongue, Cloud hurriedly cleared his throat as he threw out messily, “Marriage…I…I guess I didn’t think about things like that.”

Did it even matter, though? Marriage between Cetra, non-Cetra, dogs, cats. Whatever. Nothing would help when Sephiroth was near, permanently stalking him, as it appeared to be. His nasty, gruesome fate lay ahead, staring right back at him, piercing through his heart worse than any arrow, harpoon, or blade ever could.

Eyes turning slightly murky, Aerith tugged almost desperately on the end of her long, braided ponytail as she sighed, “It would take me too long to explain, but it’s not a marriage in the way you would think of it, Cloud.” Pausing, she then carefully elaborated, “It’s something…more intense…so intense, that it is said to drive a lot of people mad with the knowledge behind it.”

“What do you mean?” Cloud asked, his calm veneer shattering to reveal his bewilderment.

Placing her hands over her heart, Aerith shook for a moment, her eyes bearing heavily into Cloud’s as she orated softly, “It’s a link between two souls and beings so powerful that if either of them are lost or they otherwise become separated, they…” As her voice trailed off, Cloud felt he understood clearly.

Nodding slowly, he concluded for her, “They perish.”

Face bunched up in pain as her shoulders tightened up into her body, Aerith clearly didn’t want to go on discussing this bleak topic anymore. She didn’t even need to communicate and present the words to Cloud; he understood, and respectfully, he backed down. Whatever the heck this ‘soul bond’ meant, he could only assume that it sounded horrible and downright cruel. From what he’d accrued through Aerith’s warnings, the soul bond ensured that the individuals or entities depended on each other for sustenance. It was only grating for Cloud to put himself in the shoes of a soul actively trapped in the bond, and he didn’t want to think about tying himself to someone like Sephiroth. He wished to have his own personal agency and responsibility far away from the control and manipulation of anyone else, save for his friends.

He didn’t need this…no one rational with a working brain in their cranium did, either.

Eyes shifting back beyond Aerith, Cloud repressed a cold shiver when Sephiroth smirked as though he was in on some dark, potent secret no one else would ever come to learn about. The strange entity leaned against the thick tree trunk he’d been standing next to, and he slowly withdrew his sharp Masamune. It gleamed and glinted in a deadly warning especially at Aerith’s back.

Feeling sick to his stomach at the very sight of it, Cloud reached out with an arm and wrapped it about Aerith’s thin frame. Gathering her closely into his chest protectively, he scowled forth at Sephiroth while he whispered to Aerith, “It’s late; we should try and get some rest.”

Leaning and nuzzling against him fondly, Aerith nodded in her confirmation. “Sounds like a good idea, Cloud.”

Together, the two friends headed back for Sector 5, namely, Aerith’s cozy, comforting home. But Cloud would only be fooling and lying to himself if he pretended none of this bothered him… _especially_ the odd spikes of heat and ice dancing and shooting up his spine whenever he felt Sephiroth’s eyes acutely tracing his form.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud never considered himself a religious or spiritual person. It wasn’t that he was judging others for being that way or choosing to indulge in and practice worship, but it wasn’t his ‘thing’. He never assumed it would be, either. All his young life, he’d suffered through hardships, much like anyone else who lived a supposedly ‘free’ and ‘grand’ life in Midgar. Under the Shinra regime, he’d witnessed some abhorrent, ghastly sights. Cloud had received his fair share of deep-seated scars, and majority of them, he knew he would never be rid of. Perhaps through time they would lessen gradually, but the memories associated with each and every single one of them would follow him until he breathed his very last breath. Cloud knew this. He knew that sometimes, through hardships and woes, real warriors and leaders were created…oh, how he longed to become one…

…Zack’s legacy…

Yes. He’d been responsible for both spilling blood and being on the receiving end of having those whom he cherished and loved so much having their lives snuffed out far too abruptly. Nothing was fair in the world of war, and he never would be delusional enough to think it would change. Long ago, he’d willingly resigned his humility and traded it for speed, for precision, and for wrath. That was the only way he knew he would be able to survive, and it _had_ reeled in good results. He never needed to bend, kneel, and pray to a ‘god’. Idolatry wasn’t something Cloud Strife understood, but to be fair, he hadn’t conducted much of his own observations and research in the matter.

The best he could surmise and reflect on was that people normally went to church, groveled, and doggedly held onto their belief systems only to seek out comfort in tough times. Religion and spirituality were nothing more than an imaginary, invisible security blanket people wrapped themselves up in when the world turned dark and all hope was abandoned. But Cloud had never resorted to that sort of thing. He never had a reason to believe in miracles, the ‘hand of God’, the ‘Devil’, or anything else.

….

Until now.

He didn’t and couldn’t even begin to understand how and when his feet had decided on their own to travel the journey from his room located in Sector 7 all the way to Aerith’s pleasant church in Sector 5. Perhaps it would always be a special mystery, perhaps the answer would tumble and crash onto his lap some time later. He didn’t know, but that wasn’t troubling him. No, what truly was troubling and terrifying Cloud Strife was that one early, sunny, bright afternoon, he’d found himself standing in Aerith’s church, gazing up at the large, gaping hole in the ceiling and roof he’d created when he fell through it not too long ago.

The spacious chapel was surprisingly clean and clear. The air wasn’t as dusty and foul as he’d thought it would appear to be. Breathing it in and out easily, he felt the heat of the potent rays of the sun beating down on the back of his neck. Since he’d been standing in the middle of the church for some time, the effulgent rays and beams started burning at his skin. Cloud scratched it involuntarily, slowly spinning around as he took in all the sights.

He’d battled with guards and Reno here, once. Traces of the damage lingered, with the pews broken in many places, glass shattered as stained and colorful bits lay about, casting rainbow hues along the chipped walls. The Christian architecture suffered greatly, as well. Many of the antique, dark chandeliers were nearly falling apart right from the ceiling to the floor. Bits of broken, sharp glass had been scattered about everywhere, and plenty of bullet holes as well as burns and singes as a result of magic being used for the purposes of harm in the church could be viewed from a distance.

It all only served as a bleak reminder of many tragic ordeals having occurred right there in the great chapel, sadly. At least the rest of the church was intact and somewhat fine, but Cloud would be deceiving himself if he didn’t gape around and feel nostalgic.

As he attempted to squash those feelings churning within himself, he sat down on the bench closest to Aerith’s flowers. As the rays of the bright sun fell down over them, they seemed to react pleasantly, almost reaching up as though in some act of praise and gratitude.

 _‘Do other lifeforms also worship and pray?’_ Cloud mused to himself as he sat with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t suppose so, but Aerith had often informed him rather sagaciously that yes, their planet consisted of energies that were mostly sentient in their own ways. Perhaps they wouldn’t be able to understand or communicate directly, but Cloud supposed it was plausible.

Time was ticking as he sat and glared straight on ahead at the front of the chapel. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to even start this??

Cluelessly, Cloud’s eyes began to wander as much as his divided attention. It seemed his straying thoughts weren’t going to ever cease and desist. The only thing that remained desinent was Cloud’s confidence. His desiderium for peace and civility—especially within himself—dwindled, much to Cloud’s dismay. He despised having no control over his own choices and his own life, but there was little else he could do to fight this off. It wasn’t a tangible enemy he could track, target, and squash.

As Aerith had once told him, battles of the soul and heart were the most difficult…tragically impossible, more specifically.

Damn.

Scratching the back of his head a few times while specks of dust fell down from the ceiling and hung in the air, Cloud had been wondering about how he could possibly begin to depurate his disturbed mind from all the dark, vile memories and experiences he’d been forced to suffer through. He was soon drawing blanks and running into dead ends, when he heard shifting, followed by catatonic mumbling. It sounded quite robotic and monotone. Searching for the source of it, Cloud’s eyes surveyed to the far left of the chapel, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he located the root source.

Kneeling before a grey statue of what could’ve been the Virgin Mary happened to be Biggs. The raven-haired Avalanche member who’d suffered seriously detrimental injuries knelt as he offered up canorous prayer and gentle chanting of his own. Eyes tightly shut as he focused, Biggs hadn’t sensed Cloud’s presence, which left the other young man baffled and puzzled. Cloud knew how strong and talented Biggs was in his own ways, and he couldn’t fathom how it came to be that the dark-haired fighter hadn’t noticed him. More prudently, with the only ‘spirituality’ on Gaia being planetology, who was Biggs worshipping?

As Cloud studied his friend, though Biggs was whispering rather softly, when Cloud observed his lips moving and trained his ears onto the susurrus steadily flowing from Biggs, he was able to ascertain that Biggs wasn’t praying for himself, but for Wedge and Jessie.

Skepticism had always been a large part of Cloud’s life, often acting as its own identity and energy source. No matter what, Cloud reserved his doubts about many things until tangible, concrete evidence had been offered, or his own theories had been disproven. Wasn’t that how men of science and logic saw the world? What good was fear, prayer, and groveling?

Eyebrows quirked in mild fascination and curiosity, Cloud took a few soft steps away from the bench he’d been seated on, and he moved over to where Biggs had positioned himself. Mindful of his approach, Cloud made sure he was cautious not to step over the loudest parts of the floorboards. If Biggs was sending out a thoughtful prayer for their fallen friends, he at least deserved that amount of respect not to be interrupted.

Upon getting closer, Cloud successfully was able to make out clearer sounds and words, which aided in him piecing together what specifically Biggs was saying.

“Let them be safe…let them finally have their rest…”

Holding his left arm down in his lap, the other was held up and hidden away within the confines of a sling and heavy bandages. Biggs’ stitches were also healing and covered protectively but seeing them there anyway made Cloud shiver and recoil in guilt and bouts of shame. He wished he could deracinate all these odd feelings causing the ocean of a mess within himself, but as long as he had a conscience, it wouldn’t and couldn’t be done.

_‘This is technically my fault…I should’ve been looking out for them. I failed them as a team member.’_

A tiny smile suddenly formed along Biggs’ handsome face. “This isn’t the end of the world or a tragic demise, Cloud.” His sudden sentence shocked the other young man, and his breath hitched in his throat, clearly under the shock of reflected emotions he didn’t know how to comprehend.

While he stood sputtering and gaping dumbly, Biggs let out a small sigh as he stared down at his lap almost emptily. “Didn’t think I’d find you here, you know,” he began in a sullen tone which didn’t quite match his current facial expression. Glancing up for a brief moment just to acknowledge his companion, he concluded, “It’s good that you’re here, anyway.”

When he found his voice, somehow, by some bizarre miracle, Cloud fumbled for words before he vomited out in a disorganized mess, “I’m s-sorry about Wedge and Jessie. I th-think about them a lot, but I don’t think it’ll ever be enough…”

The statement wasn’t a complete one, but they both knew why and how that came to be. To bring up the past would also open the door for the world of pain and anguish to wreak havoc on their minds and hearts. How were they to go on living and fighting if they constantly looked to and lived in the past?

Biggs’ eyes turned glassy as he sniffled before slowly extending his feet and standing up. Though he didn’t face Cloud, yet, he took off his iconic, red head bandana, and he held it tightly in his working hand. “We all did what we could, Cloud,” came his sad statement in the form of soothing and comforting both himself and Cloud. “You were a good fighter, and so was I. At least you managed to save me, and countless others. You shouldn’t feel so bad about what happened.”

Snarling, Cloud defensively raged, “Shinra—Sephiroth, they will—”

“Shinra and Sephiroth will _both_ pay,” Biggs stated much like a promise. Gesturing about the chapel as he turned in a slow circle while glancing up, he added softly, “That’s why I’m here, though. I don’t want the memories I shared and will cherish about Jessie and Wedge to be blackened by those who don’t even deserve a second’s worth of my time right now.”

Cloud eyed him incredulously, unable to argue against that.

Biggs shrugged. “Why give them that power?”

Eyeing the alter and statues, Cloud knew why Biggs had shown up here in the first place and prayed. He was hoping to depurate himself of all the misery, torture, horrors, and hatred he no doubt shared in and felt for all those who’d been responsible for bestowing upon them such pain and suffering. The day would arrive when they would have to answer for it, but today wasn’t such a day.

Cloud was concerned about how he’d dismiss the physiological evidence of his own fear before Biggs, while the other young man accepted and welcomed his flaws and vulnerabilities with open arms, it seemed. They both knew that sweaty palms and nervous gulping were totally out of sync with the blonde’s normally implacable veneer, but then he realized that nearly any man with a heart and sound mind would have a similar reaction in this particular environment.

As if somehow reading right through his thoughts like an open book, Biggs leaned his working arm over Cloud’s shoulder. Giving his friend a reassuring squeeze, followed by a pat, he gently suggested, “Let go of that hate while you can, Cloud. This is the best time, and this is the best place to practice that, otherwise, Jessie and Wedge would have suffered in vain.”

For Cloud, though the words seemed banal, perhaps to Biggs, they meant something. Bowing his head in obeisance, Cloud’s gaze roved in the direction of the alter. Frustration within himself didn’t exactly linger...nor did it shrink guiltily away, on the other hand. Those perceptive Mako-colored eyes just took it all in, sweeping over the place as they would any other environment Cloud would study. Strangely, the chapel didn’t seem as warm and cheerful as before…even the flowers drooped slightly and didn’t appear as radiant and colorful.

A sad look began in the depth of Biggs’ dark eyes, but very swiftly, he repressed it. Fighting and appearing strong had been the ultimate key to Biggs’ success, and even now, he was effectively using it to his advantage. All smiles, he gave Cloud’s shoulder one last reassuring pat as he orated calmly, “You’ll know what to do and how to lead us to victory sooner or later, Cloud! I’m sure of it.”

_‘That makes ONE of us…’_

Stepping back, Biggs let his arm remain draped over Cloud’s strong shoulder as he declaimed, “We can all do this, Cloud. But it’s a matter of mind over matter.”

Desperately, Cloud asked, “What should I do, now?”

Biggs never eyed him incredulously as he stated with a warm smile, “Pray. All you can do is pray, Cloud.”

When he moved to walk away and exit the grand chapel, Cloud called out at his back loudly, “Pray?! To whom?” This sounded extremely ludicrous, but Cloud was willing to let Biggs have a chance to explain.

A bright gleam was unmissable and unmistakable in Biggs’ eyes. For the first time, as Cloud gazed deeply into his eyes, he felt that the other Avalanche member was going to be just fine.

With utmost confidence, Biggs stated warmly and sagaciously, “Pray to whoever’s listening, Cloud.” Nodding in confirmation at him while inching further and further away, Biggs half-walked, half-limped out of the church, pausing to salute Cloud in the middle of the doorway.

Left to his own devices, Cloud peeked down at his boots. They were too dark and too muddy, and his uniform was torn in a few places. Fingering a few of the holes and tears in his sweater, he sighed as he made a mental note to ask Tifa if she could beg Marle to stitch and alter it back together for him some time.

Once that was stored away in his mind, Cloud sat back down on the very first bench closest to the flowers. He didn’t know why, but he was once again drawn to this place, this moment, as it bought him a small semblance of peace and tranquility. Eyes flying skyward, Cloud inhaled deeply, held his breath, and tried to steady his racing heart. The damn muscle refused to listen and co-operate, but that was the least of his worries and concerns for the time being.

It was time to pray. For once in his young life, Cloud Strife was going to pray.

Ensuring he was seated properly, he straightened his back, threw his shoulders up, and he trained his eyes to the statues. Nervously, he coughed into a clenched fist, and the sound of him clearing his voice echoed drastically everywhere.

Wincing, Cloud ceased the sounds he was creating as he instead focused all his energy on his ‘prayer’.

Blinking up randomly at the statues, he weakly and sheepishly began, “Gosh, I d-don’t even know what to say or where to begin…this…this is awkward, isn’t it?”

Were the gods going to listen??

…Well, maybe they wouldn’t if he insisted on being so awkward and stiff about this…

Rethinking his approach, Cloud meekly offered again, “I…I hope you can t-take care of my friends…err, I mean, I hope you can help me help take care of my friends!”

Yes, that sounded a lot better; less selfish and pushy! If he was ‘nicer’ about it, they would listen, and his prayers and pleading would mean something…so he hoped.

“Umm…” He made to try again and continue, when suddenly, swooping and gliding down from the rafters was an odd glowing object he’d never seen before. As it made its descent, a foreign singing noise emanated from it, reverberating directly into Cloud and squeezing around his heart. The tune was far off, and it didn’t sound human at all.

Frowning while he pounded a strong hand down over his chest to ensure his heart was even beating, a perplexed Cloud murmured, “What the—”

Thinking he’d been seeing and imagining things, Cloud shook his head, rubbed his eyes, and tried to get a damn good grip on himself. Now wasn’t the opportune moment to lose his mind and be seeing things!

….

But there _was_ something else here. It called to him, making his internal organs feel inflamed and nonexistent after looking at the orb for long enough. Then, before his very eyes, the round bulb swayed from left to right as it floated down until it was at eye-level with him. The object seemed to be an orb that possessed the ability to move itself about. Perhaps it was a magical entity!

The orb stood before his face, tantalizingly close. Curiosity peaked, Cloud reached out to touch it, failing to notice that as he did so, the orb drifted towards his arm presenting the Geostigma.

Suddenly, it was too late. As Cloud had been focusing on studying the orb, it zapped through his arm, landing once on the surface of his skin before slowly seeping down past it into his flesh. An audible ‘snap’ sounded from within Cloud, rendering the young man helpless and frozen. A voice shouted and wailed at him from the back of his head that whatever this mysterious thing was that had appeared out of thin air, it wasn’t something to be trifled with…he wasn’t able to attack it, even if he’d wanted to…

Rearing up, his back slammed potently against the bench when the orb shot out a blue-white bolt of electricity at once. Without a warning, the hot flash of electricity conflated with his mark. Like two magnetic pulls drawn to each other, Cloud’s flesh fused with the electricity, and it tugged him forth to the edge of his seat.

What was _this?_ His skin felt as though it had become like candle wax, slowly burning away, dripping off his bones! Even his bones seemed light, weak, and incapable of supporting his frame! Muscles and sinew were raw and flayed, and all at once, numbness tingled throughout his entire body. He was rendered weak, but as his brain worked and functioned as it normally would, the odd orb danced around his head in full circles. Cloud’s eyeballs chased after it, and suddenly, he knew that he wasn’t in control over his own body at all.

Whatever this was, it was taking a hold over him, and it wasn’t leaving Cloud feeling strong enough to fight back. The potency of the quagmire sucked and drained him of every last drop of stamina he had, and instead in its replacement, his stomach and bowels felt as though someone had shot a hole right through him. Both a pulling and pushing sensation all throughout Cloud’s body enveloped the young man, leaving him feeling mentally unprepared for how to fight back against this… _if_ at all possible. Even thinking seemed to be improbable…

The tingling and numbing sensation grew exponentially, as did his mark on his arm. The odd thing writhed and turned like a snake coiling through the grass. Each time it did, Cloud felt searing amounts of pain unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. His eyes watered, his teeth chattered together, and he was feeling both hot and terribly cold all at once. Nothing was properly balanced; the equilibrium of his body and mind had been badly disrupted and trifled with.

Something ethereal-and not so friendly-was definitely toying with him. Tossing and lurching his insides up and down until they felt like mush, the odd entity reeled him in before grinding away all semblances of his consciousness. Cloud felt as though a giant monster had swallowed him before spitting him right back out to whither away and die.

Fear expanded and grew, but there was not much else he could do. Eyes widening when the glowing orb became larger and rounder, he wondered if this was some sophisticated new magic Materia an enemy lurking nearby was employing.

How was it growing this way?! What was causing this strange inflation?!

Like a balloon, once the orb had been feeding off his flesh and the mark, it used the new strength and force to project itself through every corner of the chapel. Ricocheting off the walls, the windows, the ceiling, and the floor, the massive ball of energy and light caused far more damage to everything in the church than Cloud, Reno, or Rude could ever hope to achieve.

This damn thing was indestructible at its very true nature!

“SHIT!” Noticing at once that the large sphere was diving at him, Cloud tried ducking on time, but he wasn’t able to control his body. There he remained, glued and stuck to the edge of his seat, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do but gape and watch pathetically as the object zoomed in zeal close, and finally grew even larger.

It took up half the space of the chapel, quite the deadly, perilous threat. As it hovered before Cloud, the frightened young man let out a nervous whimper that he couldn’t have ever imagined himself capable of creating.

He was scared, but there wasn’t anything he could do…he was stuck.

Suddenly, the orb exploded in a large barrier Cloud himself had used during combat. The barrier enveloped Cloud, finally pulling him right towards the center. The core was beckoning and calling him. Invisible arms grabbed at him, and Cloud only surrendered to them before his eyes nearly were singed and blinded by a potent ray of light far too bright for anyone to withstand and gaze at.

As he was drawn in deeper and deeper right into the core, a moment of fleeting panic slammed through his heart.

If he had control over his mouth and tongue, Cloud knew he would’ve called for help when he could. The light was too bright, and only growing hotter and more luminous. Would it ever stop??

His prayers had suddenly been answered when the light dimmed. Unfortunately, Cloud had been foolish to think that this was the end of it. Though the lights had died away, trouble loomed in the background. As the large sphere hovered before him, a pair of luminous cat-like eyes glared at him from the center of the sphere. A mix of blue and purple in color, they narrowed dangerously at him, rendering Cloud entirely frozen.

That was the last thing the young warrior saw before the last bits of his energy seeped directly out of himself and were sucked away by the mysterious, large globe.


	9. Binding Souls

When Cloud came to, he realized he had a splitting headache. It burned back and forth between his forehead all the way right into the top of his cranium. Had someone cleaved his skull in two?!

A trembling hand reached up to faintly touch it and see for himself, anxious to discover what the extent of the damage was. Thankfully, nothing mesquin of the sort had happened to him. His skull was perfectly intact, his senses were still functioning, and he could breathe.

But that hadn’t eased majority of Cloud’s worries and growing fears. As soon as he scanned the area he was now in, Cloud was certain he wasn’t anywhere near Sector 5. He was of course in a room, and the first thing his nose and mind registered was a malodorous, sour stench, as well as a dip in temperature. The scents were remarkable as far as Cloud’s nausea was concerned. Anytime he inhaled, he suffered ill-effects from the potency of the odors. It caused a faint methysis within the blonde, and it was that specific drunkenness which opposed Cloud’s better judgment.

As much as he didn’t want to believe or trust in it, he had to assume that the strange sphere of shining blue-white rays had somehow transported him here to another…what? What was this place? Where was he? The idea was staggering that he didn’t and couldn’t figure it out, but it was time to start from somewhere now that he was conscious once more. A swift escape was his number one priority.

The room he was currently trapped in held very little in the way of furniture, save for a few old, wooden chairs, a desk, and a large container holding the form of a nude woman…he’d seen this before! It was Jenova! It had to be!

Not one to doubt his own eyes, Cloud dashed forth, nearly pressing his nose into the glass surrounding Jenova. A luminescent glow radiated from the tank, warning Cloud not to get too close. Next to the tank, dangling from a hook in the wall happened to be the same dark, loose garb the sickly puppets of Sephiroth wore. Perhaps that had been what Sephiroth used to hide Jenova away in until he set up some storage facility here, much like Jenova’s chamber in the Nibelheim Reactor.

A row of odd instruments Cloud had never seen before sat on a cart a few feet away from the tank, glistening and beckoning. Still so curious, Cloud turned his gaze away from Jenova, and he held up the sharpest of the knives. An odd engraving had been etched into one edge of the blade, and he found he couldn’t decipher and read the language. Fingering it carefully when he took his glove off, he couldn’t make out the words, much to his annoyance.

Oh well. It was probably time for him to leave, seeing as he shouldn’t have even been here. It screamed out all sorts of danger and strangeness, and he needed to tell Avalanche what was going on.

With a sigh, he made to set the blade down, when a shadow hovered in the right-hand corner close to him. In fright, he leapt up, accidentally sliding the knife across his hand, only in a move of fear. It was unfortunately a lot sharper than appearances led on. Though he hadn’t been pressing deeply, the blade cut through his flesh. Cloud hissed, suppressing a wince when it hurt. The blood welled up from his hand and dripped into the space between the tiles close to Jenova’s container. Glancing away from her haunting, ghastly form, Cloud counted out the drops. As soon the first one hit the floor, it was sucked into the small slit at the bottom of the container. An odd mixture started to boil rapidly, sizzling and settling around the purple-blue form of Jenova.

Pulling his hand away, Cloud muttered something about wanting to know and use a few healing charms as he touched the cut gingerly. He watched it close up, leaving only a thin red line as evidence while the droplets that fell were sucked in and absorbed through the bottom of Jenova’s tank.

Only, he never noticed it.

“What’re you doing in here?!”

Sephiroth’s sneering voice cut through the quiet like a sword through butter. He stalked across the room, his long dark coat flaring as he approached Cloud out of nowhere.

Due to his untimely appearance, Cloud screamed as he spun around blindly. Without thinking, his knee-jerk reaction had been to draw back the knife, and he plunged it down as hard and as quickly as he could into Sephiroth’s chest. When the blade made contact with the other man’s flesh, Sephiroth dashed away, but a scratch had already been made in his flesh. His blood shot forth, and as he sped towards Cloud, the younger man’s non-injured hand slammed onto the container, while his previously sliced hand pressed down over Sephiroth’s wound. Due to Sephiroth’s harsh motions, Cloud’s wound reopened, the gash pushing out blood that mingled with Sephiroth’s.

Immediately, something powerful and shocking akin to a bolt of electricity snapped and fizzed between the two men. Cloud felt his own life-source draining rapidly from his body, but he was frozen. Incapable of even thinking, his body turned rigid and stiff, while Sephiroth glared away at the container Cloud’s hand still was touching.

“What is this?”

The longer they both gaped in awe at the tank, the more obvious it became that Cloud’s skin was glowing. Evidently, so was Sephiroth’s. Their flesh burned and glowed a candescent purple-blue ray for a few seconds, starting from their wounds, and growing beyond that to encompass their entire bodies. The wave of energy they both sensed channeled back and forth from Cloud to Sephiroth at least in three full cycles. Each time it occurred, Cloud felt his heart racing and throbbing exponentially. His skin burned brighter, and he could only whimper in transfixed horror as whatever was surging through himself to Sephiroth, and then back again moved through its cycles.

Praying it would end, Cloud grit his teeth and stood still. Sephiroth was reduced to that, as well, but he shifted his vicious eyes numerous times between Cloud and the tank storing Jenova. Above, suddenly, when the last bits of the energy burned far too brightly and much too potently, the lights in the room all shut off automatically.

Too stunned to speak, the two warriors could only stare. Cloud’s heart pounded in terror when he realized there was no mercy to be found in Sephiroth’s cold eyes.

In what seemed like slow motion, Sephiroth finally broke free of whatever was causing their statuesque positions. Grunting, it appeared as though he really had to struggle to make his way over to the large tank. A hand closed over Cloud’s in order to remove it from the glass, especially since Cloud didn’t have the energy to do it himself. Watching him intently, as Cloud had wagered, the moment Sephiroth tried prying his hand from the container, there was a lot of pain to be experienced. Both Cloud and Sephiroth felt it, and it seared between Cloud’s non-wounded hand upon the tank, and the one bearing the mysterious dark mark still glued to Sephiroth’s bare chest.

With much force, Sephiroth finally yanked Cloud’s hand away from the container. The silver-haired male grunted, opening his hand and staring down at it before shrugging Cloud’s limb from his chest. The moment all physical contact serving as a conductor for whatever the hell the odd energy had been flowing between their bodies had been cut off, Cloud felt light-headed and sick to his stomach. The urge to crumble over and profusely vomit was too great, even though he hadn’t eaten much that day.

They both watched as blood welled up from Sephiroth’s palm magically while the cut in his chest Cloud created sealed itself up. Though his hand hadn’t been cut, blood pooled out. It dripped onto floor near Jenova’s holding tank just as Cloud’s blood had. For one second, no one moved or breathed. A white mist rose out from the bottom of the tank, leaving both men feeling empty. The viscous mist then flew up, surrounding Cloud and Sephiroth. With intent and purpose, it seemed to hover for a moment before sinking into them at once. Though Cloud didn’t feel anything, he still looked down at his dark clothes, but there was no trace of the vapor tangibly on his torso or Sephiroth’s.

…Nor could he feel anything off. The need to faint and vomit had just…disappeared.

Not even realizing he’d been holding his breath, Cloud exhaled sharply, trying to still his racing pulse with slow, deep breaths. Goodness, he’d been trying to tell himself that it meant nothing, that this was nothing, but something in his heart knew that he had more to worry about now, and whatever it was, it remained quite serious…more so than Sephiroth slaughtering him interminably, too.

Calmly, Sephiroth stared down at Cloud, lips hardly moving as he inquired, “How did you get here?”

If there was one thing that terrified Cloud beyond any promise of torture and death, it was a calm Sephiroth. He’d been so accustomed to facing off with Sephiroth and holding the image of the other warrior in the darkest and most threatening of ways. Once or twice, he’d seen Sephiroth at the peak of his anger, but never had he been so damn reserved and calm in the middle of it…this was a direct contrast, for the most part, and Cloud was truly scared. He found himself wishing-actually _wishing_ -for Sephiroth to shout, to scream profusely, and to murder him.

Of course, no such thing occurred.

Still far too tranquil, Sephiroth repeated, “How did you get here, Cloud?”

Forcing his brain and mouth to coordinate and push out the response, Cloud truthfully cried out, “It…it wasn’t me! I was just praying in Aerith’s Church for a moment, and then the next minute, the Whispers brought me here!”

Snatching the arm bearing the Geostigma, Sephiroth studied it intently from elbow to fingers. Turning Cloud’s hand over a few times, he continuously scowled in silence while the younger male only gaped and trembled strongly.

Finally, after nearly a minute, animastic sensations transpired back and forth from Cloud’s chest and Sephiroth’s body. When Cloud touched his sternum, he felt what he could only assume and describe as a gelatinous, but invisible substance. He looked at his hand, but he wasn’t able to track or identify it.

Coldly, Sephiroth intoned, “It can’t be seen by the naked eye.”

“What is it?” came the next, logical step in the line of inquiry.

Sephiroth’s mercurial expression didn’t at all match his tone. It threw Cloud off completely, but he supposed that for Sephiroth, whatever had occurred here was just as terrifying and powerful as it affected Cloud, himself.

Shifting himself around so his back faced the blonde, Sephiroth murmured under his breath, “Of all foolish—no…” Whirling back around, he weighed his thoughts and words back and forth to himself before starting anew. “Cloud, the Whispers never brought you here,” he explained carefully.

A pregnant pause followed this statement, and since Sephiroth had yet to offer a more reasonable explanation to solve the odd mystery, Cloud went chasing after it, himself.

Holding his arms out, he inquired moodily, “Then what was it?” Surely, there had to be a somewhat reasonable, palatable explanation for all this, even in such an odd dimension!

Grimacing, as though experiencing some sort of pain, Sephiroth spun midway around on his heel, as if somehow incapable of even looking at and facing Cloud. This in turn greatly annoyed and offended the younger ex-SOLDIER. Not that he wanted or _needed_ for the bane of his existence to stare at him and acknowledge him as he spoke. To yearn after that would be the apotheosis of torture, and sheer stupidity, at best. Abasement was far greater than to long for Sephiroth’s approval or respect, and Cloud had learned that more than five years ago the hard way.

Sephiroth had always treated Cloud as though he wasn’t even worthy of breathing in the same oxygen or being in the same room as the silver-haired male when they were working for the Shinra Electric Power Company. Sephiroth looked down on Cloud, and always had. Even their first meeting hadn’t gone over too well, from what Cloud was able to recall. He’d been so thrilled and excited back then to finally be meeting the SOLDIER he admired and respected so much. For many nights, young Cloud Strife had dreamt repeatedly of the first moment he’d meet the greatly renowned Sephiroth. The fiery youngster had been so ecstatic at the time, that he’d rehearsed their first meeting many times to himself whenever he was alone.

Sephiroth had been…everything to him… _everything._ Although too young to comprehend and analyze it all when he wasn’t mature yet, Cloud had idolized Sephiroth to the point where unbeknownst to the youngster, he’d placed Sephiroth on a pedestal and almost worshipped him. It of course made sense to Cloud as he thought of it, now. He’d often danced and run about in his home and through the streets with the other children, pretending to be Sephiroth, fighting like him, and working alongside his hero. Anything he’d done, anywhere he’d gone, Cloud had always ranted and raved about the almighty Sephiroth. His parents soon had grown weary of it, but they always let him amuse himself through his games and imagination.

Things had been so peaceful and fun back then…back when he hadn’t caught up to the cruel, bitter, and deceitful world of adulthood. Back then, he’d still kept some of his innocence and hadn’t fallen prey to the lies and betraying games authority figures and people who held power played against each other just to remain in control.

The day had finally arrived where he’d left Midgar and landed a position working within the Shinra Electric Power Company. It hadn’t been what he’d wanted. He wasn’t as high-ranking as the great Sephiroth, which was a devastating blow to his ego. He was only a mere infantryman, but that hadn’t discouraged him or stopped him. Cloud Strife hadn’t been raised to be a quitter, and he wasn’t going to leave when he had yet to speak with Sephiroth!

Of course, when that day arrived, like all other things, Cloud had to learn new ways of life. The lessons were brutal and delivered a high dose of pain, but that’s what morphed and shaped adults into well-rounded and logical beings.

Sephiroth had ignored him the very first time they met, barely offering him a cold, blank look before he stated they were to venture to Nibelheim. During the course of the journey, the silver-haired war hero had been seated next to another SOLDIER, only this young man seemed infinitely friendlier than Sephiroth.

Zack Fair, his name was. All smiles, rosy cheeks, and a welcoming aura about himself, Zack was quite the social butterfly. Cloud was drawn to him immediately, but it was tricky to speak with him when Sephiroth was nearby. Zack had been placed under Sephiroth’s care and tutelage, as he was a second-class ranking SOLDIER at the time. It didn’t matter to Cloud; they became friends, and quite soon, all thoughts and traces of how cold and cruel Sephiroth appeared to be at times and how stuck up his personality and attitude was vanished from Cloud’s mind.

Sure, his idol hadn’t been what he’d thought and expected, but he’d found better. Zack was funny, Zack was charming, he didn’t look down on others, and more importantly, war and fighting wasn’t all that he wanted. His life had more meaning to it, and Cloud felt so pleased to be in Zack’s company. The raven-haired man was a breath of fresh air, and soon, Cloud began emulating and mimicking Zack’s battle technique to the best of his abilities. He’d wanted to be just like Zack…in _every_ way.

But those days were over…those moments and memories were things of the past. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, and he wasn’t easily bewitched and trusting of just anyone who came along. Already, Sephiroth had proven to him that even the best of SOLDIERs could fall from grace. What else was left, then?

“Sephiroth?” He shuddered at the sound of his own meek voice. He sounded much like a little, lost kitten than a member of Avalanche who refused to be intimidated by anyone. The slightest acceleration in breathing was the only thing he could trace and feel for now. He was petrified and rooted to the spot, almost fearful that if he dared to move a muscle, Sephiroth would unleash a deadly attack he wouldn’t walk away from.

Disgraceful.

When the One Winged Angel refused to speak with him or otherwise prove he’d even heard him, Cloud repeatedly called out his name louder. He’d only bellowed it out twice, when the taller male rounded on him with a death glare shining in his eyes. Cloud was rendered silent at once, and he backed away while Sephiroth took a few measured steps closer to him, sealing the gap between their bodies languidly.

“Incorrigible child,” Sephiroth acknowledged, outwardly unperturbed. “Must you always poke your nose into other people’s belongings and try ruin everything?”

Irritation rising, Cloud shot out with much resentment, “Not my fault you’re a weirdo keeping Jenova in here.” Gesturing crudely forth with a tense arm, Cloud hissed venomously, “Why are you hiding the body here, anyway?”

Teeth beaming as Sephiroth snarled in a menacing warning, the ex-SOLDIER used his height to his great advantage to loom over Cloud almost triumphantly. “It is wise not to question the nature and alignment of things, Cloud,” came his icy growl, freezing up all of Cloud’s bones and joints as he hearkened to Sephiroth’s dangerous tone.

Stepping closer, Sephiroth sneered as he added with bite, “Know your place, and stay quiet in your own ignorance.”

He’d expected as much from Sephiroth, and Cloud was ready with his rebuttal. Seething already, he viciously snapped out, “Last time I checked, I was the one minding my own damn business in the Sector 5 church!” Waving his arms about almost at the brink of exploding, Cloud bellowed vehemently, “All of a sudden, this weird, magical orb thing showed up, glowed too brightly, and I was frozen stiff in place! I couldn’t defend myself or do anything, and then I was—”

“Silence yourself at once, you weak worm!!”

The words Sephiroth had screamed out in opposition and interruption stabbed him like a sword through the stomach. Cloud had been called a number of interesting, colorful names before in his young life. Many people even in Sector 6 and 7 still found him to be odd, a great threat, untrustworthy, and crazy. He could handle all those horrible insults dished out at him, but for some peculiar reason, when Sephiroth had raised his voice and referred to him as a ‘weak worm’, Cloud felt his heart sinking right down to the pit of his stomach.

Placing a gloved hand against his left temple, Sephiroth muttered to himself, “I can’t hear myself think…”

_‘Neither can I…’_

The once hopeful light Cloud often radiated from his eyes turned dim as his mood turned sour. He silenced himself, not at all wanting to argue with Sephiroth. The other male paced back and forth, whispering to himself as he went along. Cloud raised his head and studied Sephiroth’s handsome features. Though not exactly frowning deeply, the One Winged Angel held quite the disturbed, perplexed look upon his face. For the first time, he was presenting emotions, which no doubt meant that this was affecting him in some way.

Seeing him with his long hair falling over his bare, muscular chest, barely moving and flowing as he paced almost left Cloud mesmerized. Feeling dizzy, he could only gape in awe as his eyes swept up to admire how perfectly chiseled Sephiroth’s face was. Like a god…

….

 _‘Why in the entire universe am I thinking that Sephiroth’s handsome?’_ His own warped thoughts spoke volumes to Cloud. He shouldn’t have been entertaining such things to begin with! What was wrong with him? This contradicted everything he’d been fighting for, hoping to achieve, wanting to represent, and desiring to attain!

Vaguely, he wondered if his own desires were that transparent to Sephiroth.

As he stood there blushing as red as an apple, fighting against beating himself to a pulp for thinking of such perverse, twisted things, Sephiroth paused and glared over at him indolently.

Lips in a thin, set line, he chillingly hissed out to him, “Cloud, I can hear your thoughts…”

Shaking terribly, Cloud rejected that notion. “Stop bluffing,” he huffed indignantly. “You’ve gone insane!”

“No,” Sephiroth immediately opposed, though he wasn’t seeking out ways to be right just to win the argument. Holding up a hand, he grunted, “Cloud, I can _hear_ all your thoughts about _me._ ”

Still not wanting to take his word on that, Cloud decided to test Sephiroth. Defiantly, Cloud remained serious as fresh waves of hatred reserved for Sephiroth were renewed ad infinitum within his heart.

Chin jutting forth as his nostrils flared, Cloud barked out in a clipped manner, “Oh? Then what was I thinking about in regard to you?” Pantomiming cupping his hand about his ear and leaning in for an exaggerated ‘listening’ effect, he goaded Sephiroth rudely, “Come on, then! Let’s hear it!”

“So be it,” Sephiroth nodded as he stood back and glared heatedly at Cloud with nothing short of scorn and revulsion. When he was ready to press on, he bluntly rushed out, “You think I’m handsome.”

….

The recapitulation delivered in such a raw, crude manner nearly caused Cloud to explode in rage. Truthfully, he was more embarrassed than angry, but the two emotions weren’t mutually exclusive at this sour point of degradation for himself.

Seething viciously, Cloud rebuked snidely, “That’s not true!”

Eyes narrowing, Sephiroth huffed, “Hmm, well, be that as it may, it’s what you were thinking, you idiot.”

_‘You suck! I hate you! You suck, Sephiroth!’_

Aloud, Sephiroth threw back argumentatively, “I do _not_ ‘suck’; revise your language and show some respect for your elders, you misbegotten brat!”

Cloud gaped in wonder at the desperation he saw on Sephiroth’s face. The older warrior’s expression was enough to make Cloud reconsider his rather hastily made decision to want to flee. His stomach lurched with dread. Neither of them could be sure what would be revealed on the other side of consciousness, but Cloud was quite certain now that he didn’t want to find out. What would Sephiroth discover if any other thoughts flew across his mind? What would Cloud himself be open to discovering and learning about Sephiroth? This was _still_ Sephiroth, his mortal foe, the creature Avalanche wanted to track down and hunt!

Bones and joints locking into place, Cloud felt dizzy upon considering the possibilities and the potential for utter humiliation if this continued. Oddly, he had yet to hear a single thought Sephiroth processed, but he supposed that through rigid and structured training, the silver-haired warrior simply knew better and had mastered the art of shielding his mind from others.

Cloud still had many questions, and though he remained frozen and held into place by the force of his own shock propelling deeply into his heart, he felt the familiar waves of anger and contempt crashing into himself like potent waves of the ocean. Swept up in them, he allowed them to guide him until he found and took control over his own voice.

“You still didn’t explain anything to me,” he argued logically. “How did I get here? What’s this damn mark on my arm still doing here? What’s Geostigma?! What’s this damn soul bond, Sephiroth?”

The gemmation of the curiosity Cloud reserved presented itself in the onslaught of questions constantly streaming from his lips. He knew he was deeply getting to Sephiroth. After almost six years of despising each other even through death, they both knew precisely which buttons to push to get on each other’s nerves. Recognizing how quickly this scene could devolve into something ugly, Cloud made a conscious effort to tone down his sarcasm.

Irritably, Sephiroth constated, “I told you, this is Geostigma!”

Shrugging blandly, Cloud muttered, “Nah. I still have no idea what the heck Geostigma is, what it does, and how the hell I can make it go away.” Rolling his eyes when Sephiroth growled in a warning, he added, “You’re upset? Guess what? So am I.”

Bluntly, Sephiroth muttered, “Then, perhaps I should explain what Geostigma is.”

Reduced to his younger years, Cloud churlishly hissed, “Yeah, that’d be sweet.”

With a stolen glance at Jenova, Sephiroth gave in. Shoulders thrown back, he remained vigilant and tall, not wanting to relinquish his physical power and influence. Teeth gleaming beneath his lips as he silently snarled, he glared away madly at the floor.

“Geostigma is caused by the body’s immunity system overworking itself by trying to purge Jenova cells.” Pointing at Jenova, Sephiroth expounded, “Consider it a gift from me to you, Cloud.”

Of course, Sephiroth couldn’t hold back from gloating. He smugly grinned at Cloud with everything he had, and the younger warrior wanted nothing more than to beat him down.

Searing hotly with rage he hadn’t thought was possible to burn within himself to such an extremity, Cloud’s mien went from putrid anger to vicious seething in mere seconds. If he had the ability, he knew he would’ve fought Sephiroth until he’d breathed his very last breath…

Eyebrows flying to his hairline, he groused, “A gift?! Well I don’t want it, so take it off!” Again, he took to waving his arm about back and forth in the air, but Sephiroth paid him no mind.

Wandering over to Jenova’s storage container, Sephiroth smiled up fondly at the creature as he tilted his head to the side. Almost lazily, he cooed, “You brought this upon yourself, actually…” Spinning around, he glared pointedly at Cloud as he explained carefully, “After a certain… _event_ …” He paused, perhaps for dramatic effect as he snickered, “Well, regardless, the Jenova cells were in the Lifestream. Remains of Jenova fell into it when _you_ killed me. _You_ were responsible for birthing this wondrous ordeal.”

Cloud hadn’t understood most of it, but what he gathered was that this was some sort of disease Sephiroth-or perhaps Jenova-was responsible for causing. Praying he wouldn’t freak out in front of his nemesis, Cloud softly gasped. “Am I…am I d-dying?”

Sephiroth was once again gazing at Jenova. Sighing almost forlornly, he answered plainly, “Don’t be an idiot, Cloud. Your body is attempting to get rid of Jenova cells, but it overcompensates and causes the disease.”

“Then I’ll die!” Cloud screamed out in panic as he gazed around the room. What was he even expecting here? Help? More answers? The cure?!

“You’re not going to end this way, Cloud,” Sephiroth answered, but it did very little to miraculously dissipate Cloud’s woes and fears. No matter how calm and serene Sephiroth was, that consistently informed the younger male that nothing good would come out of it. The stench of danger and regret was already far too obvious to deny at this point.

Meeting his concerned look in the glass, Sephiroth nodded at his dark arm. “That overworking causes the black spots in the sufferer’s skin.”

Gently tapping his arm, Cloud cringed as he began, “But I’m h-healthy—”

“As I’ve been saying, in case you failed to listen to my words the first time, when someone is infected with Geostigma, they contract Jenova’s cells, and the immune system works to try to eliminate them as it would any intruding virus.” The icy, acerbic growl resonated all over the room, drawing out of Cloud a few spasmodic shivers.

Smirking eagerly and enjoying his reaction, Sephiroth gloated as he continued. “The fallacy lies therein when the body engages in combating with the cells; it isn’t a war to be fought.” Eyes roving Cloud’s face as the hot-blooded youth went through the various emotions of panic, hatred, fear, envy, and contempt, Sephiroth let out a cold chuckle.

“Yes, fighting back fails to remove the cells, and the immune system overcompensates fighting an incurable contamination. Those infected with Geostigma experience debilitating weakness as their bodies devote energy to fighting off Jenova’s cells and may develop open sores on their body that secrete black ooze...”

Was there _any_ good news?!?

Cloud whimpered as he held up his arm, rotating it while clearly trying to spot the black ooze Sephiroth spoke of. As a result of his actions, Sephiroth ceased chuckling and paced away from Jenova’s container.

Nodding at Cloud, he drawled in an exhausted, bored manner, “It won’t show up on everyone. Some sufferers experience hallucinations and seizures, while some don’t.”

Cloud heavily felt himself unconsciously tensing at the intentional humor painting Sephiroth’s tone at the last sentence spoken. When their eyes met, Cloud knew that Sephiroth was the most articulate man he had ever met. For his archenemy to be choosing his words this carefully, the matter had to be grave, but there was also an undeniable truth and wisdom to them all.

No room for doubt…

Pointing at himself while shifting his eyes down to the floor, Cloud concluded slowly, “So _that_ explains why I was seeing visions all along, right?” When Sephiroth didn’t come forth with an answer, Cloud looked at him and desperately howled, “Right?! That has to be the explanation! Otherwise, it would remain—”

“Hush, you loud-mouthed thing,” Sephiroth insulted mordantly as he once again resumed scowling at Cloud until the young man was reduced to a pile of stewing, maddening mess of emotions he wanted to cast at Sephiroth. However, the rather vacive and bland stares Sephiroth returned encouraged Cloud to understand that arguing and bickering wasn’t worth it. He could perhaps take a rain-check on his squabble, reserving it for another day when he wasn’t as badly confused and exhausted.

“The mark is the sole reason why you were brought here to me without a summon, and without a clear path,” Sephiroth began at last, each word a slow offering as the speaker seemed to judge the reception of every syllable. Cloud couldn’t recall the last time someone had gone through such pains to avoid being direct and forward, and this delay in the delivery of a succinct response was driving the young Avalanche member quite mad.

Frowning as he slipped further into his own thoughts, Sephiroth stated, “The Jenova cells brought you here; the fragments of what lingers within both of us birthed from the Lifestream. That’s the key.”

The riddles were getting to him, and Cloud was unable to cope. Nearly stumbling back into a metal crate he hadn’t seen there in the room before, he muttered something incoherent to himself. He needed time and comfort, and he very much longed to have some peace and quiet to himself so he could properly think…but Sephiroth wasn’t going to give him that, no matter how nicely and sweetly he asked.

While Cloud fumed away, Sephiroth moved up behind him. Due to the way in which the taller, more experienced warrior shifted his weight from leg to leg, hovering through the air gracefully like an ethereal creature from a world no one would understand, Sephiroth stood directly behind Cloud until only an inch of a gap remained between their bodies. Mystical, vagarish eyes glancing up and down Cloud’s person, and then Sephiroth’s voice gently pressed into the back of the blonde’s neck, grazing the hair strands there.

“I told you that there was a sorrow in your eyes that never seemed to abate. It only recently occurred to me that...that I might be the cause of that pain. Isn’t that correct, Cloud?”

Unaware of the vagation occurring behind himself, Cloud shuddered when the less than wholesome warm puff of air landed on the back of his sensitive neck. The skin there reacted in a peculiar, anomalous manner, equating sensations Cloud had often experienced and felt for Tifa…this was terrifying and inconsistent for him! What was going on?

As Cloud stood frozen, rooted to the spot like an inanimate object, Sephiroth glared intently at his hair. Then, very slowly and carefully, he raised a hand and softly touched Cloud’s wild hair before dragging his hand lightly back and forth through the sandy mass. A tiny moue of confusion and irritation fluctuated about his face. Cloud wasn’t able to see it, but he definitely was able to sense Sephiroth touching his hair…how uncharacteristic…

Repressing his shuddering, Cloud whispered, “Th-this is…t-too much…”

“I’m not negating that,” Sephiroth purred, the vibrations coming out of his chest and throat slamming and grinding into Cloud’s back.

The rumbling birthed a colossal amount of unrest within Cloud, but he held back on commenting on it. Good or bad, even if he lashed out at Sephiroth, he knew the other male would only be encouraged to bolster in the antipathy.

Touching his light-colored hair a few more seconds satiated Sephiroth’s mood and curiosity. Now bored once again, he lowered his hands as he moved to stand beside Cloud as opposed to behind the youth.

Reluctantly, Cloud inquired, “Now that I was b-brought here by the…umm, Jenova cells, now that I have th-the Geostigma, what do you think happened afterwards when we…err…”

Gaia, he wasn’t even able to say it, but he didn’t need to…not when Sephiroth read through his mind and knew what he’d wanted to ask.

Body posture stiff and rigid with obvious displeasure, Sephiroth answered swiftly, “You were brought here, and without either of our…will and consent, we’ve entered a soul bond.”

There it was. A verbal confirmation of his worst damn nightmare crossing over into his waking world. He’d entertained his own suspicions, but when someone else confirmed it aloud, well, it was like announcing the end of the world. Such a hideous experience, it was, and now that it was out in the open, Cloud wished for himself a speedy death.

“I figured that one by myself,” Cloud stated as he sighed and shook his head in dismay. “I just mean to ask how powerful this is?” Stopping himself, he expounded, “I mean, what will it do to us?”

The moment he’d asked the question, an eerie, unsettling expression formed on Sephiroth’s face. His eyes turned dark, malicious, and he held quite the malevolent aura about himself. Finally, when Cloud began wondering whether he should’ve retracted his question, the silver-haired warrior softly spoke.

Lips curled back, he hissed, “Everything, Cloud; it’ll change _everything_ was we know it.” Sephiroth’s dominant tone should have been acidic, should have held the usual hatred. To Cloud’s ears, it did, yet it also didn’t. If he had to guess, he would’ve assumed that Sephiroth was impressed and pleased.

Though he didn’t smile or do anything else that would betray how he truly felt internally, Sephiroth clarified smoothly, “We will be sharing _everything;_ every experience, every thought, every sensation, every little second…what’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is now mine.”

Gut clenching due to the way Sephiroth had communicated this out, Cloud waited for the punchline or the upcoming bluff. There of course had to be one! Even Sephiroth wouldn’t drag this on for too long!

…Right?!

Disappointment was evident in the air. It smothered both Cloud and Sephiroth in equal amounts and ways, but the One Winged Angel suppressed it a lot easier in comparison to his younger companion.

Almost with a snobby mien, Sephiroth orated gruffly, “Quite literally, everything that you are, everything that you will become, every emotion you have, I’ll know all about it as your _closest_ admirer.” Then his voice changed, becoming an oily sneer as he glared at Cloud. “Did you find our interactions over the last month invasive? They will seem like a child’s game compared to this curse you’ve unleashed on both of us.”

Closing his eyes, Cloud willed himself to stay calm and not strike out. “I didn’t do anything on purpose!” Glancing at his own cut, he held it up in the air as he repudiated wildly, “I was hurt, too, and you scared the shit out of me by appearing out of nowhere!”

Motioning at his wound that had already healed up over his chest, Sephiroth roared potently, “Regardless of your whining, your silly mistake has cost us both a fortune, and our free will.” Nose turning up as his nostrils slightly flared, giving an indication to how truly angry he was, he finished, “This is going to be unlike anything either of us have ever experienced.”

Almost mockingly, Cloud shrugged as he snorted. “Sure. But weren’t _you_ super excited about begging me to be your soul bond or whatever?” Taunting the taller male even further, he supplied with sarcasm, “Seemed like it was up your alley a while ago, Sephiroth, so you can’t blame me now!”

Rounding on him with a vicious aura that nearly sent Cloud reeling back in fear and cowardice, Sephiroth admonished vehemently, “I _never_ wanted a soul bond born out of accident due to an arrogant brat trifling with things he shouldn’t have been poking his intrusive nose into.” Mannerisms and glares a direct facsimile of Cloud’s internal rage, Sephiroth added factually, “I didn’t want this. This was incidental and whimsical; not intentional and rational.”

Anger ticking down like a timer on a bomb, Cloud massaged his forehead and temples, rubbing in slow, deliberate clockwise motions. “Seriously, there _has_ to be something we can do. Can we fight it? Make it less intrusive somehow?”

“Unfortunately, not,” came Sephiroth’s answer far too quietly. “As I’ve already stated, there is no way to break a bond made with your own blood, with the blood of both of us. If you fight it, it will become stronger, and much faster than you can imagine.” Before Cloud was able to chime in with something, Sephiroth added carefully, “The same applies if I were to intervene with my powers. This will move more quickly toward completion if we fight and reject its nature.”

“Quickly?! Determination?!” Realizing all he could do was repeat certain key words Sephiroth had already used, Cloud shook his head, finally looking up at the older male. “Completion? I don’t understand any of this!” And he really didn’t, nor did he care how stupid that would seem before Sephiroth.

Scoffing, Sephiroth bluntly threw out, “Of course you don’t.” His tone had almost, but not quite its usual, level of sarcasm normally present whenever he was speaking down to Cloud…or anyone he found unworthy, really.

Not wanting to push and ask about whatever _that_ may have implied, Cloud instead whined out his question, “What’s going to happen to us?!”

He only wanted _one_ damn semblance of normalcy and peace. Was that too much to ask for?!

“I don’t enjoy being the harbinger of cynical news, Cloud,” Sephiroth began quite bitterly, fists clenched tightly, “but we’re headed for a specific destiny, now preordained by the bond.” As he finished, his body posture remained closed-off, while Cloud’s face became a deeper shade of pink. Though the younger man wanted to urgently cry out and force Sephiroth to continue, his tongue had somehow ceased working.

Or perhaps it was his brain.

Focusing on a random spot down at the floor by his dark boots, Sephiroth glared and scowled away at it, as though channeling all his potent rage to a destructive level at whatever he was looking at. “I think it’s time to understand and admit that you and I will be forever soul-bound when this is done.”

Cloud weakly choked back the bile that threatened to rise from his stomach. Now, he simply had to force himself to speak, no matter what happened after. Jaw quivering, he whispered, “You m-mean like…married? That kind of soul-bond?”

Had Aerith’s predictions and statements been true?!

Pointing at Sephiroth, Cloud brokenly stumbled over his words. “I’m…to...t-to—” he couldn’t say it. He simply could not. It was too much, too ghastly, too dreadful to even imagine.

It didn’t matter, either way. Sephiroth held no embarrassment or reservations.

“Yes, Cloud Strife,” he began with a cold glance and equally barbed tone, “to me. Spiritually and emotionally, you are in a sense married to _me._ ” After concluding this horrific fact, Sephiroth looked down at Cloud. His cold, stern eyes held the exact same horror that Cloud felt.

Wryly, Sephiroth mocked, “What’s this? Silent, are we? If only we could navigate that through your—”

Panic rose within Cloud and he ran abruptly, his boots crashing down against the wood floor, grating loudly. He looked around, wanting to run, knowing he was being childish and not caring. This entire mess went beyond unfair into realms that Cloud Strife couldn’t begin to contemplate.

Of course, he hadn’t gotten very far. Sephiroth appeared right before him, catching him in his arms as he then fiercely spun him around and sent him sailing back towards the center of the room.

“Where do you think you’re off to, hmm?” He mocked and taunted as he scathingly added, “This is _your_ fault, so remain here and suffer through the consequences!”

As Sephiroth shouted this out, the younger warrior could finally see the nervousness underlying the One Winged Angel’s calm. He knew that it had nothing to do with the surging need to take control over the current situation and everything to do with Sephiroth’s bold statement of a moment ago. The truly impressive aspect of Sephiroth’s anxiety was the fact that there wasn’t another soul on this planet who would even suspect the suave angel from hell was ill at ease. In his own way, his nemesis was even better at hiding his true feelings than he was, Cloud finally acknowledged.

Realizing his true plight, Cloud softly lamented, “I’m so screwed…”

Fixing him with quite the scalding sneer, Sephiroth stated sardonically, “That may very well be the most insightful thing that ever emerged from your mouth, Cloud.”

Where Cloud himself would have ruthlessly suppressed all emotion–thereby revealing just how deeply something had disturbed him–with Sephiroth, it was far more subtle. The signals were so tiny that even the most skilled and most seasoned observer would have missed them: a tightening of the skin around those perceptive, luminous eyes, the snide, sarcastic humor just a bit too bright to be entirely genuine, the slightest acceleration in breathing that only Cloud, who was aware of this man’s every blink, would notice.

Sephiroth was just as frightened, but he seemed to _love_ it.


	10. A Frozen Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot longer than I thought it would be O.o

_‘This has turned out to be a great week, all in all. I tried to take up praying, Zack’s alive, but acting strange and off the charts, people probably think I am crazy and dangerous, ready to snap at the first sign of trouble, a weird mark called ‘Geostigma’ is growing on my skin, and now, to top it all off, I’m apparently married to Sephiroth.’_

A few feet away in the large foyer with shining chandeliers and bright glass stretching expansively as it covered every wall, Sephiroth sat by a windowsill as he muttered moodily, “Stop projecting your insipid thoughts, Cloud.”

 _‘Oh yeah, and because of this odd soul bond marriage thing, Sephiroth supposedly hears all my thoughts. Goodbye, privacy.’_ Cloud’s discommodious, vagous thoughts were ill-received by Sephiroth. The stronger warrior glared over his shoulder in a silent warning at Cloud.

Not at all enjoying being on the receiving end of such a smoldering look, Cloud bit out with venom, “Shall I start handing out wedding invitations to everyone in Avalanche first, or Shinra?”

“I’ve already told you; it isn’t a damn marriage in the way you’d usually think of one.” Sephiroth was firm and staunch in his delivery, but beneath it, he seemed to be as frazzled and unnerved as Cloud.

It wasn’t a bad sight in Cloud’s eyes. An irrefutably disturbed Sephiroth was a nice and welcome reprieve after all the craziness, torture, mind games, trickery, deceit, and near-death experiences. He could toy around with it some more, and Cloud indulged.

Almost gluttonously, he inquired, “So, what are we, now? Husbands?” Snorting crudely, he answered for himself, “No…that’s weird. I mean, who _is_ the husband, here, and who is the wife? Is there even a wife?”

…On second thought, this was even burdensome for himself. Cloud didn’t want a ‘husband’, and to think of anyone as his husband was flat out terrifying. He imagined the same applied to Sephiroth, and his estimates seemed to ring in some truths and accuracy when Sephiroth glowered at him like he wanted to kill him and banish his soul forever.

Dangerously, Sephiroth warned, “Applying labels non-Ancients use isn’t proper, and I don’t want to hear it ever again in my presence.”

Cloud had to roll his eyes at this. “Okay then, moody,” he snorted, “still doesn’t answer my question.”

“We’re bond-mates,” came the frigid snap. Sephiroth’s shoulders tightened, indicative of his anger and resentment for Cloud especially increasing.

There, it was out in the open. Finally, Sephiroth’s cold demeanor crumbling like dying leaves during a seasonal change as discountenance broke through and was unavoidable. Cloud liked seeing it. To have the tables turned for _once_ was oddly satisfying to the point where he found himself openly welcoming Schadenfreude.

In part, the blonde gloated at his enemy’s misery. He was almost relieved to have his secret revealed if it meant Sephiroth’s own frustrations and plight would be clearly on full display. Good. At least Cloud wasn’t the only ‘weak link’. At least there was no further need for pretense. However, its revelation did leave him feeling horribly exposed, which he could tell was not his enemy’s intent. He’d never seen Sephiroth work so hard to sound casual about something as crazy as a soul bond.

Resisting the urge to find and craft his own crude weapon to use against Sephiroth, Cloud threw out in spite and rage, “How does it feel to be at my level?”

Whipping his head about, Sephiroth roared his monition. “Watch it, Cloud,” he warned with a ferocious aura rising from the top of his head. “Just because you’ve gone and linked our souls together, doesn’t mean it will prevent me from unleashing my fury unto you.”

Shrugging in high amounts of apathy, Cloud replied dully, “I’ll kill myself first rather than give you that satisfaction.”

“Feel free, Cloud,” came Sephiroth’s vainglory. Tapping on the diaphanous glass, he breathed against it in a lazy drawl, “You’d be doing me a great service, truthfully.”

He knew Sephiroth was only spewing lies and exaggerated nonsense. It never hurt to test the waters, to ascertain the other man’s certainty, Cloud decided. His pride might still be salvaged, here…whatever was left of it, anyway.

Taking a step closer to the One Winged beast’s turned back, Cloud groused irritably, “Then what are we both waiting for? Why can’t we just put it to rest, Sephiroth?”

Tilting his head at him sarcastically, Sephiroth was quick to press out, “Perhaps you should have thought of that before you bound yourself to me for all eternity, ignorant child. You know not of the magical realms and unearthly powers you toy with, do you?”

Cloud’s subdued reply laid that hope to rest. “No, it wasn’t a question,” he sighed. “I want to be done with you.” A tense pause followed, in which the blonde could tell that they were both working very hard to ignore the risible, warped sense of humor the universe seemed to have specially reserved for them.

A few painfully long moments stretched by in silence before Cloud ventured, “Are you suggesting that I’ve...misinterpreted the situation here? Regarding the soul bond?”

Now, it was Sephiroth’s turn to stall for time. His gaze dropped to the odd patterns and cracks within the transparent glass. He resided to keeping himself quiet, however, but his eyes told a different story.

Not giving up, Cloud barked, “If your answer is ‘yes’ to that, the problem still doesn’t vanish forever.”

Tapping his skull in a move of utter petulance, Sephiroth cooed, “Ahh, now we’re thinking, aren’t we?”

Pushing past the sarcasm and taunting, Cloud forcefully griped, “You think too highly of yourself, but one day, someone’s going to bring you down, Sephiroth.”

Perhaps it wasn’t wise to be having this conversation, especially considering what Sephiroth was capable of. But for Cloud, it didn’t matter how long he kept his mouth shut; Sephiroth was already somehow possessing the skills and talents to read his thoughts. It would only be a matter of time until he wielded more power and control over Cloud, the younger man feared.

Bluntly, he stated openly, “We’re coming after you…Avalanche _will_ find you, Sephiroth.”

Smirking, the austere older man hissed, “Is that what you want?”

Not even hesitating, Cloud answered flippantly, “Of course it is. I hate you.” There wasn’t anything impulsive about stating the truth, and no one was going to deny that or take it away from him. Cloud only wished he could make his dreams come to fruition and cross over into reality.

When would that day arrive, truly?

Standing smoothly to his full height, Sephiroth remained glancing out the window. In every surface of every glass within the odd foyer, his reflection met Cloud’s eyes. However, within the mirrors, Sephiroth’s wing was always present…

Rubbing his gloved hands together softly, Sephiroth commented, “That’s a lie, Cloud.” Slowly turning around, he stopped once he was directly facing his enemy. A large smile enveloped his face as he continued. “I would strongly advise you against lying to me; I’ll always be able to tell, you know.”

Cornered, Cloud sought a safe escape. But there was no safety in subterfuge. He could lie now and make Sephiroth feel like a fool for his bravery in openly tackling this problem. But sooner or later, the truth would surface. Then, Cloud knew he would resent both Sephiroth and himself for humiliating him this way. In the end, he simply sighed and met those patiently waiting eyes.

“What I want is...equally as absurd as that lie would be, Sephiroth.”

Humming softly, Sephiroth purred, “Why ‘absurd’?”

It might sound pessimistic or melodramatic, but it was the truth of his soul. Despising Sephiroth from afar might be difficult, but he knew he could survive in that kind of limbo. God knew, he’d been living there the last six years. But to discover how much more he could have, and then to lose it, that he was not strong enough to withstand…that wasn’t something Cloud was eager to disclose.

Sensing that he wasn’t going to divulge anything, Sephiroth logically pointed out, “You worry.”

Steadying himself before he crashed to the floor, Cloud pushed out in one breath, “Of course I do! W-what am I going to do? H-how can I tell my friends that I’m with _you_?!”

Sneering in derision so barbed and pointed that it oozed off his face in massive amounts of vitriol aimed at Cloud, Sephiroth commented, “I can’t exactly say I’m thrilled about this either, Cloud.”

Jaw quivering, Cloud lamented, “I know! But w-we’re both men!”

As soon as he’d spat this out, Sephiroth feigned a shocked gasp. “That was a previously unknown revelation to me, Cloud. Thank you for clarifying the workings of such a mystery.”

Ignoring that stupid jab, Cloud whispered, “B-but…it d-doesn’t bother you at all?!”

Coldly, Sephiroth answered his question with one of his own. “Should it?”

….

Should it? Cloud had to step back and ask himself the very same thing. Truthfully, he’d seen his fair share of same-sex couples all throughout Midgar, even outside of the _Honeybee Inn._ It never bothered Cloud what other consenting adults got up to in the privacy of their own homes behind closed doors, but now that he himself had fallen into a troublesome situation involving another male, he remained baffled and stymied.

Refusing to meet Sephiroth’s penetrating gaze, he brokenly sputtered, “I…b-but…you…”

“Pathetic, Cloud,” Sephiroth attacked as he stood taller. “This is a soul bond. It hardly matters regarding gender. Do you honestly think Ancients and their spirits were tied to and restricted by those foolish notions?”

Suddenly, the words of Andrea Rhodea made more sense to him as they rang about in his skull. _“True beauty is an expression of the heart…a thing without shame, to which notions of gender don’t apply…”_

But there _was_ shame in this. He was consorting with an enemy hated and revered by all, and he knew it went high above any moral, ethical code being broken a thousand times over!

Shaking his head wildly, hair bouncing, Cloud protested strongly, gut lurching as though already able to foretell what was to happen. “No! I’m not going to—ugh, you know! With you!”

…How had it even come to this??! He was openly discussing…something so foul…so filthy with the entity that had haunted him in dreams, nightmares, and throughout all his daily activities, now! Death would be more merciful than to give his body to Sephiroth! No!

Shaking his head in despair as torment and anguish flowed through his system, Cloud begged in a shrill whine, “Can we please not do this? Is there any way to—”

“Silence,” Sephiroth hissed in a sibilant, eerie manner that immediately created shivers and gooseflesh running up and down Cloud’s skin. Menacing and intimidating as ever, Sephiroth’s eyes glowered down at the younger male as he continued. “You need to evidently work on your listening skills, Cloud; they’re even weaker than your combat skills.”

Grinding his teeth together in pure frustration, a dreary Cloud grunted, “Just make your point if you have one, already.”

Irritably, Sephiroth nodded. “There is nothing to be done, Cloud, at least not in the way you’re flustered about.” When Cloud’s angry expression blended into one of confusion, Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “This isn’t anything carnal, as I’ve implied numerous times, and I’m ill-inclined to keep repeating this,” Sephiroth declaimed in a soft, sad voice, the tone one might use to break terrible news to a beloved child.

Cloud knew he felt some small traces of relief bleeding into his veins, but he knew not to be too trusting when it came to his mortal enemies. “What do you mean ‘there’s nothing to be done’?” Despite the subdued volume of the inquiry, the emotion behind it was quite fierce.

Sephiroth stared on in silence at him, and Cloud was quick to recall, “You mentioned that this could grow stronger…wouldn’t that mean that…” Wincing, he lowered his voice to a faint whisper as he heaved out, “…You know! If w-we were to g-get close, then won’t we…err…b-be compelled to…umm…” Shit, his face was so damn red…

This was going nowhere, and he was only making an ass out of himself.

Thankfully, Sephiroth picked up on the implications and sneered derisively. “That’s not a requirement or a major component of a soul bond, no…however…”

Cloud groaned, knowing that there was always a damn catch.

“However,” Sephiroth pressed on, pacing back and forth as he spoke, “there is a chance that it could happen, as it would when two individuals spend more time together, grow closer, and share a strong connection.”

Jaw nearly hitting the floor, Cloud repeated, “S-so…it w-will happen?!”

Eyes narrowing harshly, Sephiroth stated bluntly, “I said it _could._ ”

Cloud shifted back, moving past Sephiroth in utmost silence. He rummaged through the foyer, glancing at large shelves and inside a few other nooks and crannies in the corners of the grand foyer. As he went about doing that, Sephiroth glanced at him, observing him with heavy curiosity looming in his sharp eyes.

Finally, when Cloud swept by his side for the fourth time, Sephiroth asked, “What’re you doing, now?”

Grumpily, Cloud snapped, “Looking for a weapon to end my own life with.” Gazing around, he glared viciously as he added snidely, “I’d rather just kill myself now than wait around to get closer to you.” He hurried again, picking apart some barrels and boxes in the corners stacked high, and then dropping them at his feet.

Eyeing him wearily, though not at all making a move to stop him, Sephiroth calmly said, “No.”

“No what?” Cloud asked while searching everywhere. From Sephiroth’s reactions, he knew this would be even more embarrassing and important. What else was there?

“I said there’s no sexual aspect to it,” the One Winged Angel ground out tersely. Before Cloud had the opportunity to breathe out a single word, Sephiroth went on. “However, the bond has a secondary aspect to it that the bond creator did not anticipate.”

A cold dread washed through his body. Snapping his eyes shut, Cloud wasn’t sure how much more he could take. “Oh, Gaia. What, now?!”

“The nature of the bond,” Sephiroth paused and cleared his throat. “It…makes having a relationship with anyone else,” he paused again, and then spat out, “difficult.”

“Difficult? How?” Looking at Sephiroth, then, Cloud’s muddled thoughts ran amok in seconds. In his young life, he hadn’t had the chance to explore much of anything in terms of pleasures of the flesh. He’d spent years being Tifa’s childhood friend, and the moment he became a little older, he left to undergo training and find vigorous work for the Shinra Electric Power Company. But that certainly didn’t mean he wasn’t able to feel anything for Tifa. She was a gorgeous young woman, and he’d wanted to spend more time with her and get closer to her…

 _‘So much for that…’_ Sephiroth had ruined it, too. There was nothing to recommend him at all. Looking at the taller male, then, Cloud was utterly nauseated by the idea that he was...married to him...to the one person he probably loathed more than anyone else in his life. With a shudder, he focused back on the conversation.

“Why can’t we remove this? Or stop it?!” He knew he was wailing and crying petulantly, now, but this couldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t allow for it. He’d already made plans with Tifa…

Frowning deeply, Sephiroth finally rumbled on a low note, “No. There’s no way to stop a river once it’s flowing, is there?” Bluntly, he repeated, “This is already in motion. Just leave it be.”

It was disconcerting, to say the least. Cloud’s life had now been truly interrupted, and all his plans faced a tumultuous downturn and upheaval. And all because Sephiroth refused to do a damn thing about it…

Desperately clutching at a few strands of his light-colored hair and tugging them between his fingers, Cloud protested in a half-sob, “But I d-don’t want you! Or this!”

Nodding curtly in confirmation, Sephiroth coolly explained, “That makes two of us, Cloud. Unlike you, I am, however, trying not to fight the bond. Something I think you should take into account or this will become infinitely worse than it already is.” Stopping to examine Cloud coldly, his eyes narrowed as he sneered derisively. “Not that I can see how it could be any worse. However, I do not wish to find out I am wrong.”

Shivering slightly, he was afraid that Sephiroth might be right. Although he didn’t wish to go hunting for the exact details, Cloud knew from previous experience never to rush into anything blindly.

Praying he wouldn’t live to regret asking, he softly pushed out, “Why will it be difficult to...um...have a relationship with anyone else?”

Sephiroth grew paler. “The bond will force us to be close to each other. In ways that lovers are close.” The silver-haired male had stated it as if it were the most appalling thing he could imagine.

Strangely enough, that only made Cloud’s stomach drop. He recognized feelings of nausea surging forth, but the oddity rose from the fact that he hadn’t passed out yet, somehow. It was good to be strong in times like this, and he diligently searched those serious, shocked features for some sign of Sephiroth’s subterfuge. The fact that he didn’t find any hint of pretense didn’t mean that the One Winged Angel was telling the truth. Most of Cloud’s enemies had proven to be appallingly convincing liars when the situation demanded. He wasn’t going to pass off the chance that this was another bizarre plan Sephiroth had concocted for the purposes of snatching away his, and Avalanche’s only hope.

Yes…it seemed…plausible…

Did it?

“But…you said no sex!” Cloud forced himself to meet Sephiroth’s eyes when he said it. God, he could not think about that in any context. It was simply too awful to stomach.

Huffing, the older warrior nodded. “Yes. There is no sexual pull in the bond; no compulsion.”

Cloud sent him a pleading look, to which he snidely added, “Put your contrived grievances aside for a moment. You should understand that when one person is very close to another person, they can, and often do develop sexual feelings for each other.”

This was all turning into a damn nightmare, and it was more than what Cloud was capable of handling. Contemptuously, he wailed boisterously, “I hate this! I hate you!”

Grinning in quite a monstrous manner, Sephiroth threw back, “As I hate you, Cloud. I’m not eager and pleased about this either, I’ll have you know.”

Swaying as though drunk, Cloud decided right then and there that he had to leave. He’d already put up with enough from Shinra, before and after the plate drop, Sephiroth burning down his hometown, torturing his friends, Zack…he’d tolerated plenty, and this had been the final straw.

Barely meeting the other man’s eyes, he whimpered like a lost soul, “I w-want you to get me out of here. I need time t-to think.” The word ‘please’ hadn’t been stated, but it didn’t need to be. Cloud was on the last of his nerves before he exploded, and Sephiroth knew it.

Hanging his head low in a move of disdain, Sephiroth sighed, “Very well. Do whatever you must.” With a wave of a hand, he beckoned, “Come here.”

Arrant resentment and contempt took their hold over Cloud, but he had no other choice and no other say in the matter. He went wherever Sephiroth needed and wanted him to be.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

A drolly dissonance was inevitable the moment Cloud and Avalanche regrouped to ward off a large horde of Shinra guards and soldiers. Apparently, Rufus Shinra wasn’t shy about lashing out and finding grandiloquent ways to instill fear in everyone. Compared to his deceased father, Rufus held an unbreakable will and ruled with a strong iron fist that was far too dangerous to be trifled with. Both psychopaths thought far too highly of themselves, but Rufus seriously believed whatever he was doing was somehow ‘altruistic’ in nature.

Barret had mentioned that Rufus was ‘an insane bastard’, but Cloud knew that was putting it far too mildly for tastes. Rufus Shinra was the type who loved to sit back and force others to do the dirty work for him, but he constantly had his eyes on the damage, gravely assessing it with an eager smile etched onto his face.

The attack had been far too unexpected, and it’d occurred in broad daylight. For the denizens of Sector 7, life had been carrying on much the same as always, but with more pressures to aid and assist those in need, not a single soul had been prepared. That, of course had been what Rufus Shinra had counted on the most, however. It was highly obvious when his small army stormed in as they descended from a few dark helicopters, effectively frightening many elderly citizens and children.

Desperately trying to ensure they were safely hidden away, Red, Marle, and Aerith ushered as many groups of people as they could to safety, while the rest of the team struggled to bear the onus of security and survival given the untimely attack. As it so happened, even Cloud had been in the middle of a small nap, desperate to take his mind off Sephiroth and the soul bond, when a few deadly explosions and fires had started not too far away from _Seventh Heaven._

And to think, they’d _just_ begun their recreation…all that time and energy had gone to waste…

Springing into action, Cloud snatched his Iron Blade, ensuring he had all the proper Materia sturdily built into his weapon as he leapt outside. The damage was already quite massive, to his unmitigated horror. Majority of the soldiers had been quite clever with the way they’d spread the hungry fires; they’d made sure it encircled and trapped all of the members of Avalanche from escaping. The orange-yellow flames spread through the grounds faster than Cloud could blink, and he knew there wouldn’t be much time to save anyone once the heavy, thick fumes of smoke and ash rose in the air.

With a mighty roar, he swung his weapon fiercely through the air at a few soldiers. At least three of them were knocked down due to the force of his blow, and within minutes, Tifa and Barret were at his side.

Panicked, Cloud asked, “Have they destroyed the medical cabins?!”

Shooting down a soldier who dared to get back up, Barret snapped, “Nah! They ain’t made it that far, and they won’t! Not on my damn watch!”

Charging up her gloves, Tifa sailed above with ease, aiming a perfect dive kick at two guards. Her boots stomped into their faces, momentarily stunning them before she added in many rough punches. She kicked them higher and higher up into the air, knocking them out cold before slamming them back down to the earth.

Though Cloud would’ve liked to pause and admire Tifa’s fighting strength, he wasn’t able to do so when Aerith charged at them from behind. She already strongly held her Mythril Rod to her chest, no doubt prepared to help her friends.

Barret eyed her in fear, and his jaw fell open widely. Sputtering, he rasped as he tried getting in her way. “Aerith! Get outta here, girl! It’s too dangerous!!”

As he fired away at one of the shooter helicopters with many focused shots, Aerith stubbornly shook her head.

“Aerith!” Tifa shouted at the height of her concern for her friend, “Barret’s right! We’ll handle this!”

As she carefully skipped and hopped out of the way of a few shots at the same time her fellow friends did, Aerith held her weapon high in the air. Cloud stood before her, holding out his arms protectively.

Beaming at him, Aerith sang, “No need to be my shield, Cloud!” Raising the Mythril Rod high in the air, she smartly aimed strong magic attacks at a few soldiers already on the way towards them. Aerith made good use of Tempest, the long-range magical attack, fully charging it so that it caused many explosions once the attack hit all the enemies in sight.

Nodding once he realized she could take care of herself, Cloud cried out to his friends, “Everyone! Make sure you use as much magic and barriers as you can!”

Obediently, Barret applied Steelskin, while Tifa used her powerful Omnistrike followed up by a few Whirling Uppercuts that turned her enemies into dizzy, swooning jelly heaps. They fought like they always had, as a wonderful team. Cloud thought for certain they were going to triumph, and it didn’t matter how many soldiers were sent in. As long as they all kept their hopes and spirits up, they had a strong chance out of this.

Barret managed to successfully stun one of the pilots of a helicopter, and as he blinded the man, the pilot lost control over his helicopter. The large device smashed into one of its brethren nearby, and both helicopters soon spiraled down in gigantic explosions. The metallic, deadly parts fired off, but Aerith managed to shield everyone by casting an extra-large barrier about them both.

“We’re not out of the woods, yet!” Cloud pointed out the moment he saw Shinra guard dogs and a few large Cerulean Drakes swooping down upon their heads. The blue beasts expanded their wings, their sharp talons reaching out for flesh almost hungrily.

Everyone ducked on time, and as the avian creatures flew higher into the smoke-filled air, Aerith swiftly aimed wind spells at them. One by one, they crashed down in heaps, while Tifa and Barret ensured they would never rise again. However, as they fought on, more soldiers burst in through every angle. As they surrounded the members of Avalanche, instead of attacking quickly, they brought along with themselves a large crate…

Cloud gazed at it intently, knowing that it had to either be some kind of deadly explosive, or another weapon. Tugging on Barret’s shirt to get his attention, he pointed over at the dark crate. Roaring, Barret ran before it, firing off Overcharged attacks in quick succession. All that did however was blast off the lid of the crate. The moment the top portion came away, Barret ceased shooting, while Tifa and Aerith stood their ground, assuming their defensive attack poses.

“Everyone, wait!” Cloud advised them in a bombastic tone, “keep your eyes on the crate!”

The Shinra soldiers soon backed off, hurrying back in their own hordes as though in fear of something. As they retreated, Barret puffed out his chest and chuckled in early celebration of their triumph.

“Damn right! That’s what I thought!” He taunted the soldiers ecstatically, stepping up to chase after them boldly, when Cloud held out the length of his Iron Blade to the side as a barrier to keep Barret back.

“Don’t,” he warned as he scowled at the open crate. “There’s something there.”

As they all gaped in horror, steam steadily rose from the open crate in a large puff. It shot up, and everyone leapt back in fright to avoid it. Once the steam slowly dissipated, loud hissing sounds could be heard. They all peered through the smoke and ash, trying to make out what it was. Whatever it could be, it was enough of a threat and danger to ward off arreptitious Shinra guard dogs. The creatures whined in fear, retreating to the shadows much like their masters had. Soon, the entire clearing was open, though the flames in the background surrounding Avalanche devoured the rest of the buildings in a jiffy.

Cloud didn’t even breathe, nor did he blink as he gripped the handle of his weapon tighter than ever. He knew his knuckles were turning white as he held it so fiercely, and soon, every hair strand on his body rose to a needlepoint in anticipation.

Amid the ghastly, stressful silence, from within the crate, a long, forked tongue darted out, as though sampling the environment, first. It slid along the top of the crate, and then a hiss was heard once more. Next, two reptilian nostrils on an elongated face darted out, followed by the head of an odd lizard-looking creature. Arrect and alert to its surroundings, the odd creature let out a vaporiferous puff of air, slowly turning its head towards the wary members of Avalanche. They’d never before seen anything like this, and they were utterly flabbergasted by what it could have been.

Barret whispered in a shaky breath, “Th-the hell is that??”

At once, after it’d ‘sized’ them up, the glaireous monster slithered out from the crate. It had quite the slimy body. Its head may have been smaller than the rest of its torso, but as it reared up on its hind legs, it somehow grew in size. It bore glands and odd gills in the side of its neck, and a gigantic crown fanned out atop its skull stemming from the back of its neck. It hissed dangerously at them, and when its mouth opened, many sharp, gleaming fangs revealed themselves. Its color and shape even changed as it grew closer to them. At first, the creature had been light brown in color, but now that it was steadily approaching the group, it brightly lit up and changed itself to present orange-red hues and shades.

Terrified beyond belief, everyone gaped at it, not sure what to do and how to make their first move. The strange lizard creature hissed again at them, and shockingly, as it stood before them, it grew larger and larger. The group of friends remained incapable of doing anything, almost as though they’d all been placed under a bizarre spell that had bewitched them to a statuesque state…

“MOVE!!!” At once, a large, furry animal zipped past them, diving straight for the lizard. Once the two entities collided, the Avalanche members snapped out of their stupor.

Blinking hard as he was thrown off course, Barret roared, “Red! The hell’re you doin’?!”

Their friend had dived forth at the lizard, claws and razor-sharp teeth jutting out as it swiped at the strange beast. “I’ll buy you some time!! Get out of here!!” Red leapt at the vile animal, but it cleverly ducked. Bouncing back and minding his distance, Red used his tail, swishing it along as he charged again at the odd animal. As he flew through the air at it, however, it seemed that the monster had a few tricks of its own.

ZAP!

Immediately, a flash of a violet ray akin to a laser beam shot out of its mouth, and the moment it touched Red, the poor animal froze. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he groaned as he lay unconscious on the dirt.

“NOO!” Barret’s cries of anger rang out. “You asshole!!” Raising his gun hand, he shoved Cloud out of his way, running straight for the lizard. “I’LL KILL YA!!” Shots blasted and fired, but it was no use; the lizard again had a unique defense mechanism no one had been prepared for.

As it dodged Barret’s bullets cleverly, the lizard straightened its neck, practically almost the same height as Cloud, already. It emitted a mighty roar, and as it did, it stretched out its small, short limbs. Barret stopped dead in his tracks, sunglasses nearly slipping off the tip of his nose.

“Huh?!” Sputtering and gaping, there was nothing he could do when the creature fanned out its arms, and revealed large, bulbous little spheres beneath its limbs. There were at least twenty or so, and they were off-white in color.

Jaw dropping, they all gasped in reverent horror when the spheres fell to the ground, rolling slowly towards Barret. Small shadows moved within them, and after being exposed to the open air, they exploded. The shards blew about, and as Barret and Cloud shielded themselves from the small explosion, tiny bipedal lizards dark brown in the color of their scales ran ahead at Barret, aiming for his feet.

Leaping and hopping back once the tiny creatures scaled along his legs, Barret tried shaking them off, but it was pointless. The lizards dug their claws into his clothes, nipping and gnawing at his flesh as they inched up the length of his thighs.

“God damn it!! Someone! Get ‘em off me!!!” In a blind, panicked rage, Barret dropped down, rolling and shaking as he went along, trying to pry the tiny lizards off himself. Tifa however wasn’t intimidated in the least bit. Dashing at Barret, she made to aid him, when the monstrous lizard turned its attention to her, next.

As though warning her not to get close to Barret, it swooped through the air at her, turning midway and slamming down with a spiked, elongated tail at her feet. Backflipping out of the way on time, Tifa put up a strong fight. She used a great portion of her strength, as well as Ice Materia in her expertly timed attacks. She punched a few times at the tail of the creature, but that was a futile effort, also. The ice did nothing in the way of damage, and instead backfired on Tifa. The monster had been prepared for her attack, and it opened its mouth wide, shooting potent fire out this time. As such, the two elements battled, and the fire melted through the ice.

Still not quitting, Tifa raced to the side, trying to locate weak spots. The creature turned when she did, however, watching her intently. Bravely, Tifa unleashed a few charged attacks, bouncing on her feet back and forth. She lit the ground with her moves, clearly under the auspices of her powers and skills to reign in her success. Kick after kick, punch after punch, Tifa exchanged blows with the creature, and it soon began using its bristly, barbed tail to swipe at her. Dashing, dodging and rolling away, Tifa’s timing had been perfect.

For a moment, Cloud just stared at her in awe. Suddenly, Aerith pinched his arm, and he snapped out of his reverie.

“Cloud! We need to help!”

She was right, but Cloud didn’t know how to approach this…thing! It didn’t frighten him too much, but he despised its unpredictability. It wasn’t anything Chadley had told him about; it was entirely new. What would work on it?!

Steadily and nervously approaching the creature while Tifa had it momentarily distracted, Cloud tried aiming a triple slash at it, when the tyrannical monster whirled around. As Cloud gaped at it, another set of eyes opened and bulged out from the back of its skull…

“Eww! Gross!” Aerith shrieked, while Tifa shuddered as she tried throwing more magic at it. She was soon running low, however, and nothing seemed to be working on this creature. With Barret and Red down, Cloud truly started worrying. They needed to stagger this monster, but they had no idea what to do and where to begin!

Not wanting to scare off Aerith and Tifa by being reduced to fear himself, Cloud held an arm out as he whispered, “I g-got this…I got this!” Steadily and slowly approaching the beast, he’d nearly been close enough to touch one of its scales, when from its spine protruded bone-like sharp edges. They rose out of its body, and as they did, a puff of green-grey smoke billowed out.

It was the foulest odor anyone could ever smell. Cloud wasn’t even able to describe it, but he knew that the vapors were deadly. Tifa nearly passed out because of it, and she immediately had to back off and shield her face.

Fanning herself in irritation, Aerith’s nose wrinkled up as she whined, “This…ugh! I c-can’t breathe!!”

_‘God damn it! What the hell is this disgusting shit?!’_

Vying to gain his senses and ‘fight on’ proved useless, however. Through blurry, teary eyes, Cloud knew his knees were buckling, and he was slowly losing his strength. He couldn’t breathe…he was going to choke and die…

As he nearly fell to the ground in a coughing heap, the wind somewhere to his left howled mightily. Glancing up through his lashes, Cloud blinked and almost squealed in horror when he saw Sephiroth standing perched on top of the slowly burning stacks of junk and scrap the residents of Sector 7 had piled up as they were cleaning up what was left of their homes. The One Winged Angel frowned as he surveyed the battle scene, and he huffed as he pointed at the weird animal with his shining Masamune.

Cloud squinted at him through his tears, not sure what Sephiroth was going to do. If he wanted to, he could perhaps take him out right now, and none of his friends would be able to rush to his side and save him! Praying that Sephiroth wouldn’t stoop to such low levels and deliver a dishonorable death to him, Cloud coughed violently as he tried communicating with the silver-haired ex-SOLDIER.

Sephiroth sighed as he shook his head in despair when Tifa flew above in a series of quick Whirling Uppercuts aimed for the terrifying creature. Her charged-up strength helped, but only for the moment. Sephiroth resorted to scowling when the lizard only moved a few inches off the ground, not at all stunned or hurt. From its back protruded large wings measuring almost eight feet in wingspan. The appendages flapped rapidly, brushing Tifa back, and she crashed to the side pitifully.

Snarling, Sephiroth stated bluntly, “That’s not the way to kill it.”

Knowing that he was the only one who could hear Sephiroth, Cloud hissed, “What is this thing, anyway?”

Mistakenly thinking he’d been speaking to her, Aerith cried desperately, “How should I know?! All I know is that it stinks!”

Ignoring her, Sephiroth replied, “It’s a Pyrexial Salamander; and quite a deadly one, too.” Eyes sweeping over the bones, the bristly tail, the wings, and the gases it was emitting, Sephiroth added, “That’s poison it’s letting free.”

“Shit!” Cloud gasped, wrapping an arm about Aerith, trying to push her head down so she wouldn’t get in the way of the horribly damaging vapors. Weakly, he asked Sephiroth, “Wh-what do we d-do?!”

Once again, Aerith was under the assumption that Cloud was addressing her. “I don’t know!” she shouted in high amounts of panic, “but we have to help Tifa!”

She pointed at Tifa, who was in the midst of a Divekick, but when the Salamander swatted at her with its wings and tail simultaneously, Tifa was easily overpowered and thrown to the dirt. The animal was quick, and it stabbed one of its bristles into Tifa’s right ankle. She howled in pain, rolling on her side as she tried evading the rest of its attacks. That proved to be increasingly difficult as the Salamander’s little friends swarmed over her, slowing her motions down terribly.

“Tifa!” Holding onto Aerith, Cloud made to crawl over to her, next, but Sephiroth clicked his tongue against his teeth in a warning.

Shaking his head, he warned, “Don’t go near the hatchlings; you’ll anger their mother, and you will all die.”

Stunned, Cloud rasped, “What? Hatchlings?!”

Shoving him, Aerith coughed in confusion, “Cloud! Why’re y-you t-talking to y-yourself! Th-this isn’t the t-time!!”

Right. They had to save everyone, and Cloud nearly kicked himself stupid for talking to Sephiroth, much less paying attention to whatever he was saying. All of it had to be false information the infernal man was spewing, and he was wasting time by giving Sephiroth whatever energy he was currently running thin on.

Struggling along with Aerith in his arms, Cloud cried out for Tifa, but it was yet again another futile thing to do. Tifa was too weak to do anything except lie down on her back while the tiny lizards swarmed over her. They weren’t biting her, thankfully, but Cloud would be damned if he sat by and waited for that opportunity.

Hoisting his Iron Blade as high in the air as he could, he roared as he tried to throw it at the smaller lizards in the hopes that it would distract them. Suddenly, Sephiroth’s voice crying out in a warning against that got his attention.

“No! Physical attacks won’t work, here!” He advised strongly and urgently, “You’ll want to use a strong spell to stagger it, first, and then use whatever Materia you have left on it!”

Groaning, Cloud cocked his head in confusion. “ _Whatever Materia?_ I have them all!” Snorting, he glanced down at his weapon, and in a second, he nearly screamed in shock.

One by one, any Materia he’d infused into his weapon were melting and rusting away. They dissolved hurriedly, with his Ice Materia disappearing, first, and then the rest of his Elemental Materia. His Magic Materia were also dissipating, almost vaporizing into the air as he gawked in horror.

“What…what’s going on?!” Even his Summoning Materia had totally vanished, essentially leaving them all vulnerable beyond destruction.

“The fumes,” Sephiroth sighed as though Cloud had asked him the dumbest question in the world. “It released toxins and a dissolvent. Whatever Materia you have, use it now, before it’s too late!”

Shaking him, Aerith cried out as she coughed violently, “C-Cloud! Who—ughh!” Slumping into his arms, she was growing weaker and weaker by the minute. He had to do something, fast!

…But how could he trust Sephiroth?!

Turning his face unto the man he loathed the most in the world, Cloud hissed, “You…you’ll k-kill us all!”

Snarling at the peak of his putrid vitriol, Sephiroth screamed, “Idiot! Only if you don’t hurry!!”

Glancing down at his rusted weapon, Cloud saw that he had enough magic left to perform one shot at Thundara. It wouldn’t be enough, not to stagger the beast. While guaranteed to hit well enough, it would only deal a moderate level of damage, and Cloud wasn’t sure whether he could even stand on both feet to fight.

Weakly, he bemoaned at Sephiroth, “I c-can’t! I can’t d-do it!”

Pointing angrily at him as the flames ate up the rest of Sector 7, Sephiroth snapped ferociously, “You can! Stop whining and get up! Get up, Cloud!” Waving his hand up and down, he seemed to be desperately urging and encouraging his junior ex-SOLDIER on.

This was insane. Truly insane…there was no way he could do this…no way…

Hanging his head in shame, Cloud almost resided to his fate. He wanted to bury his face in the earth and pray for a quick death, when he suddenly heard Tifa weeping. Her skin had been lightly covered in dirt and ash, but he could see her eyes welling up with tears all the same as the lizards clawed at her. Studying her beautiful face, Cloud saw the first drops of tears falling, glistening and shining brightly like diamonds in the sky…much like the last time she’d landed while weeping in his arms, Cloud was unable to see his friend suffering in such a way. It burned and squeezed his heart.

No. There was _no_ way he was going to give up. Not in a million years.

With a loud roar, Cloud leapt to his feet, yanking Aerith up in his arms. While he braced both their weight carefully, with the thin female leaning against him, and his Iron Blade extended before himself, he knew he was taking a huge risk trusting Sephiroth. There still existed a tiny chance that the warrior was leading them all into a deleterious situation. Cloud knew he could’ve pushed them all to their demise faster, but what other choice did they have?

_“Trust me, Cloud…just trust me…”_

They were past the point of no return. There would be no looking back, but Cloud decided to put all his faith in the One Winged Angel.


	11. Opal and Ebony Tides

Cloud held Aerith against his body, gently nudging her and cupping her face in his free hand. His warmth seeped into her flesh, and she stirred as she whispered in a shaky breath, “C-Cloud?”

“Shh, Aerith, I need you to be strong for me right now!”

The world was turning upside down slowly, and there was soon going to be no chance at all to right the wrongs thrown at them. Cloud hated that the destiny and fate of four other people he cared for and cherished so dearly had been thrown on his shoulders, bearing down grievously, but there was no sense in fighting against it.

Glancing about the grave situation and travesty all around, Aerith sobbed brokenly. “Wh-what’s going on?”

Gently holding her as closely as he could, Cloud whispered back, “Aerith, everyone needs us! We’re all they’ve got, and they need us to be strong, now!” Shaking her mildly as he righted his weapon, he wheezed, “C-can you cast something strong at these little bastards?” He hoped she would be able to do so, and he squinted at her Mythril Rod.

Brows furrowed, Aerith whimpered, “I can c-cast a Ray of Judgment!”

Knowing she was a lot stronger than her frazzled appearance led on, Cloud trusted her implicitly. Nodding resolutely at her, his own confidence was renewed. “Perfect. Let’s do this while we still can!”

Exchanging deep glances in the hopes that they would somehow pull through, together, they held onto their weapons, as though pushing and channeling forth as much power and raw energy into the inanimate objects as they could. Cloud wasn’t as confident as he even tricked himself into believing. What mattered more, however, was that he had to pass off convincingly enough for his friends that he was confident.

Sword in his hand, Cloud knew they had to time this perfectly. Trying not to get in Aerith’s way, Cloud gave her enough room as she fired up her spell. The green energy powered and coursed through her, and Aerith slowly floated up in the air a few inches as she pointed her weapon at the largest Salamander. Drawing from all the strength and energy she held within, she charged out the magic from the Mythril Rod in a blinding ray. As her steady stream of magic blasted forth, the Salamander was effectively stunned.

Under his breath, Cloud whispered more to himself, “He was right…this is working…”

“Cloud! N-now!!” Turning and waving at him eagerly, Aerith added, “I n-need you!!”

It was now or never. Fire sat in his eyes and veins burned, and every fiber of Cloud’s being was inflamed. Energetically, he charged at the Salamander, drawing his blade back as he witnessed the Materia slowly seeping away. There would only be one hit, and he had to ensure this was a critical one.

The smaller salamanders cowered in fear, and Cloud screamed at the ones attempting to attack Tifa. Drawing his weapon back, he fired up Thundara, and it zapped through the ‘Mother’ Salamander the moment his Iron Blade made contact with its back. As soon as the spell hit, the bones of the creature dove back into his flesh. It threw its head back and wailed to the heavens, emitting a dark cloud of green smoke from it jaws. Once again, Aerith hit it with her spell, trapping it in a stun lock even deadlier than Thundara coursing through its body.

As the magic worked, the beast’s wings shot out, and the lightning magic fried them to a crisp. The pieces and bits crumbled, and soon, the rest of the monster’s torso was destroyed. The lizard let out a dying shriek before lying flatly on the ground close to Tifa. Due to their ‘Mother’ dying, the little salamanders soon also perished one by one. As soon as they fell, their corpses were devoured and engulfed by the flames as the rest of Sector 7 continuously burnt to a cinder.

Collapsing once she could channel out no more magic, Aerith breathed out in exhaustion, “G-get Tifa and th-the others, Cloud!”

Sputtering in disbelief, Cloud still was unable to comprehend what’d just happened. Something smelled rotten, however. Peering down at his weapon, he discovered that the entire length of the Iron Blade had been eaten through. It was melting in his grip, falling down at his feet in a massive puddle of goo.

Breath hitching in his throat at the absurdity of it all, Cloud dropped the handle of the weapon down. Kicking it away, he realized that was what was left of it…that was _all_ that had been left…

Horrified, Cloud ran over to Tifa, grateful that the toxic fumes were no longer present, and that he could breathe…well, it wasn’t exactly ‘fresh’ air he was breathing, but it was far better than having his lungs eaten away. He was able to reach Tifa in time for when Red and Barret slowly came to. Gathering his friend in his arms, Cloud carried her past his other friends in a hurry to get her to safety.

Shaking their heads as though waking up from a horrible nightmare, Barret and Red exchanged confused glances, and then stared over at the puddle of bones and dissolving flesh that were the only remains of the Pyrexial Salamander. It seeped like acid into the soil, covered by the ashes and fire soon after.

Shuddering in disgust, Barret and Red didn’t question anything else as they got to their feet and made quite the mad dash down the only pathway not yet entirely surrounded by flames. Together, the members of Avalanche passed through, with Barret holding both Tifa and Aerith, one woman draped over each shoulder. Red leapt through the flames almost precisely. They were low enough to the ground that he hadn’t burnt, and no one else suffered severe damage.

Further distractions followed as Cloud hung back and assessed what had happened. From behind his entrancing web of remembered flame, Cloud felt eyes on his form. As though an invisible force had clutched at him, he was then shaken, akin to being possessed. Forcibly, he turned around to gaze up at the sky. The sounds of low humming and buzzing came from the machines and drones the Shinra guards had brought along with themselves.

Staring on ahead beyond them all, Cloud snarled in anger rearing forth anew in his veins. One of the dark helicopters that hadn’t crashed yet flew about in the sky. Gliding gracefully through the heavy smoke billowing and rising up, it seemed to hover almost directly above Cloud…perhaps on purpose?

Throwing his head back and scowling above as much as he could, Cloud found he wasn’t at all surprised when he peered up into the tinted windows of the helicopter and was able to make out a pair of piercing cobalt eyes, and a blonde haired figure smirking puckishly down at him. Their eyes met, and Cloud knew what hatred was, then. It seized him by the throat, and already, he was swearing vengeance up and down…vengeance he would seek against Rufus Shinra for doing this. He should’ve known that this damn man had been responsible for all this…

A few feet away Barret gently rested Tifa along the softer portions of the earth. Bending over her and pressing an ear to her chest to listen for her heartbeat, he soon gasped as he felt her pulse. Gently holding her close, he whispered hotly down at her, “Hey! Listen to me, Tifa! Hear me! You’re all right, girl! Just overtired!”

Red gently lay his paws on her lap as he intoned sadly, “Feel the breath you’re taking, Tifa. You are a survivor, like all of us.”

Aerith held her magical staff close to her chest, and as she knelt before Tifa, she gently pooled out of it healing magic. The soothing properties of the healing aid greatly helped. At once, Tifa blinked her eyes open, and she began murmuring at her friends.

“Aerith?”

Closing her hand down over one of Tifa’s in a gentle move of comfort and support, Aerith gently cooed, “Shh, no talking, Tifa! Just feel…” Gently resting her head over the dark-haired female’s, Aerith whispered tenderly, “Feel it enter your chest. Feel it run through yourself.” As she urged and pressed on with her words, the soft flowing energy healed away the minor lesions and injuries marring the surface layer of Tifa’s soft skin.

Smiling as her friend recovered, Aerith whispered serenely, “That’s it. Follow the breath. When you breathe it out, those images are going to start to disperse. You’re going to hear my voice a bit clearer. Hear my voice, Tifa. Grab onto it. Follow it back out. That’s right. That’s the way...”

Suddenly scared to realize that he was once again lost in one of those never-never lands of his senses, Cloud grabbed onto that familiar drone that was the large helicopter whirring on by. Rufus Shinra had attacked and coordinated all this chaos. Rufus Shinra had willingly watched as innocent lives were destroyed, people were terrorized, and families were torn apart. Like a drowning man would clutch at any piece of flotsam that came his way, Cloud choked for fresh oxygen once he realized he’d been holding his breath the entire time while the helicopters disappeared out of sight.

But there would never be a flotsam…he had to find his own lifeline, guiding himself back to control…somehow.

With a shocked gasp, Cloud started back into the here and now.

Utterly disconcerted, he found himself frozen in the middle of all the wreckage. Screams could still be heard not too far off, while a few explosions and crumbling sounds of buildings rang about in the air. Off to the side, Cloud witnessed Aerith’s soft hands cupping Tifa’s face. The raven-haired woman was conscious once more, and it was a gratuitous miracle.

Staring back and forth between all his friends, Cloud saw that through it all, no one was seriously injured. Red was leaping about with great agility, much like always. Barret regained his strength and was off, no doubt running about to find Marlene and check if she was okay. All this reminded him that he himself had to find another way around the fires so he could check if Biggs and Zack were fine, too. Cloud held tightly onto the hopes that they were. After all, every single person here was a survivor. They could all get through this.

As he began navigating his way through the less dangerous zones, his anger curtailed vastly and significantly once he recalled exactly _who_ had helped them get through this. Now that he had his back to the pile of rubbish and wood, Cloud immediately stood still and gathered his guts to voice his gratitude. Sephiroth had saved them…Gaia, he didn’t ever think he would be alive for this day, but Sephiroth had in fact aided them with his knowledge…he at least deserved a little gratitude.

“Thank—” As Cloud turned himself around, he glanced up through the layers of smoke, squinting and narrowing his eyes just to get a clear view.

Sephiroth was gone, however. No one was there atop the rubble, and Cloud coughed once he realized he was all alone.

“…You.”

Shaking his head slowly, trying to wake up from this odd dream, Cloud sullenly and reluctantly moved away from the scene where the One Winged Angel had once been standing tall and mighty, watching the entire battle. The very last image branded in Cloud’s mind was the brutal fact that Sephiroth hadn’t been observing their suffering with malice shining brightly in his eyes. He wasn’t anticipating their failures and defeat…he wasn’t looking for any opportunity to swoop in and attack, either.

No, the last image his mind greatly held onto and immortalized was the image of Sephiroth’s disappointed demeanor, pained grimace whenever Cloud’s friends were injured and attacked, as well as his turmoil and anguish as he gazed around the fiery pit Sector 7 had turned into.

Why did something in his chest feel so heavy? So pained? So conflicted?

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

“So, Rufus Shinra nearly killed us all? I think it’s time we made a change of plans, then.” Tifa sat scowling sternly across the kitchen in Aerith’s home. Though she wasn’t glaring at any of her friends, she remained on the warpath and snapped a few times when Red checked up on her injuries. Tifa Lockhart was steaming with anger and resentment so much that it brought back all the painful memories to Cloud.

 _“I’m sick of this! I’m sick of ALL of this!”_ Never had her words made so much sense to him than they did, now. He felt them, he identified with each of them, truly, and he could only remain silent as she sniffled and held back her tears.

After anyone and everyone who was able to volunteer their help spent nearly two full hours putting out all the fires, Elmyra had rushed to deliver food and medical supplies, and Aerith was already worried sick about her. As gentle and kind of a heart and soul as Elmyra had in order to check up on the others and send back the good news that Biggs was alright, Aerith preferred having her mother safe as well. Wringing her hands and chewing her lower lip while she constantly checked the windows and yard for her mother’s return, Aerith soon drifted off into her own concerns.

Pounding the small, round table roughly, causing a few of the flowerpots to rattle, Tifa sniffled again as she craned her head down. “I’m going to kill him myself!” she vowed, shaking terribly while also trying to repress her own inner explosions from breaking out. “He’s…t-taken so much from us…we h-have to—”

Storming down from the second level of the house after no doubt putting Marlene to bed, a furious Barret Wallace joined his team. Stopping close to Tifa, his eyes even glowered at her from behind his sunglasses, making him quite intimidating in appearance.

Crossing his muscly arms over his chest, he bitterly threw out, “We’re not gonna do such a thing, Tifa. We’re in a world of a shitty mess, and aside from takin’ care of our own people-somethin’ we’re failin’ at, mind you-we agreed to go after that jackass called Sephiroth!”

If possible, only Cloud appeared the most hurt and insulted by this outburst than he had by any of his injuries sustained from the Pyrexial Salamander. Again, he couldn’t fathom why or how it came to be that when someone mentioned hunting Sephiroth, that heavy sensation in his chest returned, nearly choking him. Turning away from his group, however, he moved to sit down on the second-last step of the home, hiding behind the handrails as best as he could while blushing deeply.

Thankfully, Tifa and Barret were far too heated to notice, and soon, they began arguing back and forth with each other as tension rose in the home.

Lifting her arms, Tifa pointed at one of her gloves. “I can still fight! We should go after the larger threat here, Barret, and that _is_ Rufus Shinra!” Wailing from the bottom of her lungs, she supplied woefully, “Why can’t you see that?!”

“You think I’d let you hurt yourself just because we agreed on having this stupid fight? Get real, Tifa!” Barret looked like he wanted to say more, then he appeared to reconsider when Tifa rose from her seat and charged up the steps past Cloud.

Red opened his mouth, his exhausted mind searching for the words that would make everything all right, but they just didn’t exist. Aerith looked around outside the wreck of what had once been their beloved home, sighing wistfully to herself. Cloud stared down at his feet, totally broken in terms of what to do, what steps to take on, next. All his treacherous mind was able to supply and provide was the memory of warm hands on his cheeks, moist breath gliding across his neck up to his ear, and the momentary sight of Sephiroth’s worried gaze slicing through his conscience.

Suddenly, the mess and damage they’d taken from Rufus Shinra didn’t seem so damn important, neither did going after Sephiroth. But how was he supposed to say that?

Tifa stood in the middle of the staircase, scowling mightily at everyone near herself. “If this is how we all have to go our own separate ways, then fine!” she hissed out, reserving one of her more heated, pointed glares for Barret. “I want us all to think about this for a moment! If you all care about Midgar, the future of our planet, and _me_ , then you’ll hopefully see my side of things.” Nearly breaking down, she whimpered, perhaps to herself. “Please…for once…”

Cloud tried to ignore his own tense, twitching jaw muscles as Red stepped close and trained his eyes on Tifa.

“We’ve taken down the former Shinra President, but his son is another burden,” the wise creature warned carefully.

Cloud nearly choked out something about Sephiroth technically handling that one, but he swiftly decided to swallow his words.

Nodding in agreement, Barret continued, “I’m with Red, but I think we’re both getting caught in the net the bastard’s set. We’re all tangled up, Tifa.” Letting out a strained sigh, he muttered, “We got lucky, today. I don’t know what in the hell happened out there, and maybe I’ll never know!”

Red took a breath and steeled himself. “We could be losing sight of the original purpose of these...exercises...especially if we become divided.”

Rolling her eyes, Tifa also sighed. “Exercises,” she slowly repeated, her lovely eyes going totally flat as she shut down all emotion. She didn’t want to lash out anymore and hurt her friends, which was a wise and mature move on her own part. Hands falling down at her sides, her chest fell as her shoulders did. She was beyond exhausted.

Rubbing her eyes, she stated ruefully, “You guys may be right…I th-think I’m just lost…I’m losing it!”

“You’ll be fine, girl,” Barret soothingly offered, stopping before Cloud and suddenly frowning in deep confusion. Grunting, Barret spat down at him, “Hey! What’s wrong with you, Cloud?”

When that wounded gaze coming from Aerith turned on him to bleed its pain into his soul, Cloud shivered in dread. The way in which the young woman was eyeing him was beyond ruinous. It seemed as though she just knew what was going on and could look deeper into his heart and mind. No one had ever possessed this kind of power to wound him before. Swallowing nervously, Cloud looked like he’d taken a shot directly to the heart.

“N-nothing,” came his sheepish, meager answer he somehow managed to drudge up. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, s-so…I’m gonna just leave you guys to it, alright?” Standing swiftly, his knees locked, and then buckled for a moment. He nearly crashed into Barret, but the older male strongly held onto his elbow, righting him back up.

“You don’t look so good there, Cloud,” Barret commented wisely, glancing wearily at Cloud as the thinner, shorter male moved past him in a slight hurry.

Leaning on the banister, Tifa called out, “Cloud, he’s right! You need to get some rest!”

Waving them off, Cloud did his utmost best to ignore the scrutinizing gaze Aerith tossed his way. She seemed to be searching and examining his form for…something…Cloud didn’t want to know what it was; he already felt quite exposed as it so happened.

The second he pushed his way out the front door of Aerith’s home, however, Cloud experienced blinding, piercing pain shooting into his head. He knew memories and bizarre visions were flooding in, and he cringed in excruciating bouts of pain as he nearly collapsed. Weakly pressing on, he limped his way across the small bridge to the left, crossing over into Aerith’s garden. He couldn’t handle it anymore, and his mind struggled as it began abrogating the heavy burdens and responsibilities that entailed being enslaved and bound to such ghastly memories.

He didn’t want to see these…he never did…

They appeared in shades of white, grey, and tinges of blue. They flashed and moved too quickly, like a film roll playing at one hundred times faster than the usual speed. Cloud wasn’t able to make much of the pieces, but he knew that they painted a grim picture.

Aerith was seen, kneeling and praying. Her flowers were blooming, the petals large and luminous. There was a great fire, perhaps another Sector burning to the ground. He saw tears falling like diamonds, already shattering before they hit the earth. There was rain, there was mud, and there were horrific screams. Cloud saw himself running frantically, swinging his Buster Sword at a shadowy figure. That quickly cut off as quickly as it arrived, and then as a bolt of lightning flashed through a stormy sky, Cloud could see himself from the other side of a large window. There was a bed, and Cloud was right in the center of it, half-naked. Writhing, moaning, head thrown back, eyes shut…it wasn’t bliss…a man was on top of him, touching him, wrenching cries of passion and intimacy out of him, before they turned to cries and screams of pure misery and pain.

Then, Cloud opened his eyes.

His arm seared with fresh bouts of pain. Clutching at the area, Cloud fell to his knees, nearly grazing the grass and plants due to how low he’d fallen. Wheezing and panting until he caught his breath, he gritted his teeth as he hissed, “Come here, you son of a bitch…” Resisting the urge to tear out grass and soil, he bemoaned, “Bring your feathered, dumbass self here!”

His heart leapt a few beats when he heard a familiar voice at his back, much too soon for his comfort.

“Good to see you, Cloud.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

“You need to invent better ways of summoning me than that, Cloud.” Stepping around him, Sephiroth peered down at his face, huffing as though this was a huge waste of his time. “Is this going to become a habit, now?” he inquired testily. “As I said before, I _do_ have better things to accomplish than to answer to your every beck and call anytime you—”

Rounding on him powerfully, Cloud snaked both his hands in the length of the suspenders beneath Sephiroth’s long, dark coat draped and strewn across his nude chest. Sephiroth scowled angrily, readjusting Cloud’s hands instead from that position to the silver pauldrons atop his shoulders.

Nearing his face close to Sephiroth’s, Cloud rasped like a mad man. “Why?! Why did you help us?! WHY?” Shaking the taller male desperately, Cloud almost fell into Sephiroth’s form again had he not held on for dear life.

Drawing his upper torso away enough so he could create some space, Sephiroth snidely replied, “What answer did you want to hear, Cloud?” Gruffly, which was rather unbecoming of Sephiroth, the older male supplied, “You can’t trust me, so anything I tell you is all for naught. Give up.”

Releasing his hold over the One Winged Angel gradually, Cloud’s gaze dropped lower to the grass. Mortified, he brokenly sobbed, “I’m so tired…it hasn’t even started, but I’m done.” The pain was too much to tolerate, as were the odd memories, if one could even begin to label them as such. The need to run away was too great, and Cloud was seriously considering this choice as the seconds ticked by.

Yes…it was what he wanted, and he was going to do it, before things became stranger.

He was abruptly stopped midway, all too soon, unfortunately. A heavy hand fell on his shoulder, yanking him back. “You will not leave here, Cloud.” Sephiroth’s voice was silky in his ears, and Cloud hated it more than he could imagine.

Shivering in what he hoped would be projected and viewed as disgust, he recoiled as he pushed out between his teeth, “Leave me alone!”

“Where is that lauded Avalanche courage now?” Sephiroth argued, noticing how Cloud hissed despondently in pain and gingerly touched his arm bearing the nefarious Geostigma. With a sigh portraying how affronted he was by the inconvenience, Sephiroth pointed out, “You’re hurting. That shouldn’t be a shock to you since we’ve bonded.”

At the mention of the damn ‘bond’, Cloud pulled away dejectedly and straightened his shoulders, trying to glare at Sephiroth. “I’m not hurting!” He was blatantly lying, and they both knew it.

Regarding him icily, Sephiroth growled impatiently, “You know what it is, don’t you?” The way he’d posed his statement was much more like a declaration than a question. Not that Cloud would’ve provided an answer, anyway.

Ignoring him, Cloud spoke to himself, “This is all bullshit, but what Rufus did to us is what’s worrying everyone.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Sephiroth asked, “More than what dangers lie in wake due to the fact that you’re not allowing our souls to merge and seek each other out?”

Paling in fear, Cloud hurriedly ground out, “Yeah…it’s a bit too much to be told at twenty-one that I’ve just got married to someone I want to kill. I need some time to digest this.”

“Time, you do not have, Cloud,” Sephiroth accurately pointed out. Though not meaning to be offensive, he drawled sagaciously, “Did you notice a change in your combat earlier today?”

Fury visible across his face and body posture equally, Cloud groused, “If you’re trying to say that I sucked, then you can go—”

“Enough with the sucking,” Sephiroth interrupted coldly.

Soothly, if Cloud hadn’t been bound eternally to this annoying man, he would’ve crashed down to the ground rolling in heaps of laughter. Hearing Sephiroth say the word ‘suck’ was absolutely priceless, but his sour mood wouldn’t at all allow for there to be any joy reaped out of this.

Shit. Still, he was going to commit all this to memory, for sure.

Holding up a few fingers, Sephiroth explained as Cloud resorted to utter silence, “There are many stages to this bond, and nothing has settled, yet. It will in a few days’ time, and you—we _both_ will feel a compulsion…” His voice trailed off at the end, leaving Cloud with far too many questions.

A shiver rode down the blonde’s spine and he hid his fear behind a cold look. “What does that mean?”

Not having that much of a better time handling the matter, Sephiroth grimaced. “It means that you will start to feel a compulsion to be with me, and I will feel the same. We will seek each other out, and it will get worse from there.”

When Cloud shook his head stubbornly and arrogantly, Sephiroth commented, “It will, I promise you. It _will_ get infinitely worse. The second stage will require us to spend time together, and that’s nothing we can fight or get in the way of.”

Throwing his arms in the air, Cloud shouted, “Why not?! We can fight it!”

“Cloud, your actions today nearly cost your friends their lives,” Sephiroth explained on the edge of his own turmoil and impatience bleeding over. “If you care about them, then you will listen.”

Pointing up at the sky, Cloud argued, “But Rufus—”

“Never mind him for a moment.” Stepping up closer to him, Sephiroth hardly left any room a discussion or debate. When he was so close, Cloud shivered, though he made no move to draw himself away. Swaying with lightheadedness and dizziness, he felt the opposite; he wished to be closer to Sephiroth…as much as possible…

Slowly, Sephiroth planted his right hand over Cloud’s left cheek. The moment he had, Cloud nearly felt himself about to implode. Emotions such as joy, calm, elation, exhilaration, and desire pounded from his head right down to his toes. This feeling was too powerful, but it felt so good…it felt right…

_‘More…’_

“You were weak, Cloud,” Sephiroth elucidated as calmly as ever, almost akin to how someone would communicate with a comrade, and not at all meaning to be critical. Sephiroth wasn’t mocking him or lecturing him as he once had. His voice and breath ghosted and skated over Cloud’s chin and collarbone, grazing lightly wherever it went, leaving trickles of pleasure dancing along the youth’s skin.

Watching him carefully, Sephiroth continued, not finding pleasure in his waspish delivery and approach. “You were weak because your efforts were divided, and your thoughts were elsewhere. This is only the beginning.”

Shuddering again uncontrollably, Cloud almost moaned out, “Beginning?”

“Hmm, I imagine so, yes…”

Glancing up between his lashes at Sephiroth’s lips, Cloud this time did let a soft moan escape. At once, Sephiroth’s breath got caught in his own throat, and Cloud was beyond embarrassed. Replaying the seemingly innoxious sound over and over to himself, he couldn’t understand how and why he’d created it. Though not high-pitched and whiny, it was absolutely teetering on desperation, desire, and raw need. It sounded animalistic and passionate, like one lover crying out for another…

What was happening to him?! Why did his body feel like someone had pushed him into a river of lava, making him both melt away as he drifted downstream, but also feel reborn?!

How?!

Sephiroth’s fingers massaged and stroked Cloud’s flesh and skin, and the younger male practically crooned as he nuzzled his face deeper and further into the palm of his dispiteous enemy’s hand.

Sephiroth delightfully chuckled. “You see? It’s already taken a hold over you, Cloud.”

In a heated, foggy haze, Cloud panted, “Th-this c-can’t go on…my f-friends…they’ll find out…”

Gaia, this dissolute road to perdition was a nastier one than he’d initially suspected. To talk of such things…to even dare to _imply_ them…it was truly nauseating, degrading, wrong, and evil. Sephiroth had already caught on to his implications, but for some unknown reason, he wasn’t troubled or disturbed in the slightest.

Wanting to get the bitter taste out of his mouth, Cloud commented with disgust running and lacing through every word, “This is like h-having an affair…”

Nodding in agreement curtly, Sephiroth added, “Hiding from friends, sneaking in the dark, hoping that I’ll embrace you…it has been an affair long before the soul bond, Cloud.” Tapping the blonde’s forehead in a light move, he amicably noted, “We’ve been engaging in this for a long time, you and I. Why should one incident absolve you of all that guilt and turmoil?”

Glaring madly as his concerns and woes were unfettered, Cloud snidely spat, “So, all mystery aside, what you’re telling me is that we should’ve had a damn affair since we basically were having one in a weird way all along, right?”

It sounded…absolutely ridiculous. Cloud wondered why he’d even spouted such insane nonsense to begin with, but evidently, there wasn’t time for his athymia and inner debates.

“I often wonder, Cloud,” Sephiroth began, a deep purr almost akin to thunder in the distance echoing out of his chest. “Why _didn’t_ we ever have an affair?” Dulciloquent in his speech and presentation, his words were highly dulcifluous and took a great hold over Cloud. Rendered to feeling frail and weak, he could only beg and whimper, much like a lost, little boy.

Why? Why, indeed…as terrified as he was, the less petrified portions of his mind knew that Sephiroth wasn’t referring to anything physical, carnal, or sexual. Heck, it wasn’t even romantic, not by any stretch of the imagination. It would be foolish to assume so, and to avoid future, further pain, Cloud decided not to look at it in such bleak terms. If he caved into such wild notions, his confidence and strength would end in a treacherous decession, and he would be left with nothing…

“I’m…nothing…” Cloud hadn’t realized he’d breathed this statement out, but he most assuredly had. But he was so very irate and furious with Sephiroth. After all, this was _his_ doing, and now that he had his mark on Cloud, the young man was seething with rancor and the burning need to destroy all traces of Sephiroth. The way things were going, he was only serving to insidiate his team…a dissolute, stupid move…

As his anger potently crashed against the back of his head like a strong wave, Cloud let out an unconstrained noise. It bordered on desperation, a war-like cry, and it sounded like a man who’d lost his mind as he fell prey to his pain and suffering. His throat constricted, his eyes burned, and his heart was racing against his rib cage. He couldn’t take it anymore.

At once, he raised his hand, attempting to slap Sephiroth once again. Unfortunately, unlike last time he’d done this, Sephiroth had been prepared. In motions faster than the human eyes could see, he snatched Cloud’s wrist in a deadly grip.

“H-hey! Let me go!”

Scoffing first at Cloud, and then studying his wrist, Sephiroth turned Cloud’s hand over a few times, never once taking his eyes off the limb. “Foolish to think that would work again, Cloud, and even more foolish to attempt it.” Turning Cloud’s palm over before himself, then, Sephiroth pulled the young man’s hand closer to his own face.

As utterly stunned as he’d been prior to this, Cloud was simply beside himself with bewilderment. There wasn’t much he was able to do when Sephiroth had him in such a hold. Daringly, the silver-haired man pressed Cloud’s hand up to his own cheek, and let it linger there. Though he was wearing his gloves, still, Cloud definitely was able to feel the smoothness of Sephiroth’s cheeks through the fabric.

Strange…he’d always assumed Sephiroth was cold to the touch…but he wasn’t, and this was a fact Cloud was experiencing right before his own eyes.

Rubbing his face against Cloud’s palm, Sephiroth’s eyes slowly closed. Whether it was all incidental or his own doing, Cloud wasn’t sure. What he knew however was that the temperature between their bodies had been steadily rising, and that he wanted more of this…whatever it was, and wherever it was heading.

“Sephiroth…”

Eyes still closed tightly, Sephiroth smiled a fond smile. It gave his appearance a gentle, relaxing look. He looked years younger, at ease, and almost endearing. Such a unique, pleasant look…yes, even Sephiroth seemed thrilled as he pressed his nose and lips softly against Cloud’s palm.

Suddenly, as both desire and curiosity consolidated in Cloud’s troubled mind, Sephiroth abruptly seized up like a wild hare in a meadow. Standing alert, he gasped as his eyes scoured across the hills, almost searching for something. He’d located whatever it was, but Cloud remained fixated on his palm still resting over Sephiroth’s cheek so delicately.

Nearly swooning, Cloud again rasped softly, “Sephiroth?”

“Shh, someone’s here,” Sephiroth announced, and he abruptly dropped Cloud’s hand from his cheek. In less than three seconds, Sephiroth disappeared into the night sky, his dark wing protruding from his back as it lifted him off the ground and propelled him through the stars.

He was gone, and as he left Cloud all alone, the younger ex-SOLDIER glared down at his own hand. How was it possible that Sephiroth touching him only once, and so briefly had left such an impact on his body?! His hand tingled, burned, and it mourned the loss of contact already.

As he remained there scowling at his hand in the middle of Aerith’s lovely garden, leaves rustled, and footsteps approached.

“Cloud?”


	12. Falling Up

“Cloud?”

Standing tall, Cloud remained alert, whirling around quickly as he coughed and sputtered, finally breaking free of the odd spell Sephiroth’s touch had placed over him. He was ashamed of himself for reacting and feeling such things, and he only prayed and hoped that whoever was now here with him hadn’t seen or heard anything…he wouldn’t be able to live it down or explain it away!

Peering forth, a few fireflies and dragonflies ventured about, no doubt drawn to the lovely assortment of lights shining through the darkness. Lanterns and little bulbs had been strewn all around Aerith’s alluring garden. They lined up the walkway of the bridge, sat perched on top of tree stumps, and boulders. It truly was a peaceful, gentle night, but Cloud wasn’t one to enjoy it…not after what had happened with Sephiroth.

Now, Aerith had stood right before him, gazing at his face and into his eyes with a heavy amount of curiosity shining deeply in the center of her pupils. She’d draped Zack’s dark SOLDIER jacket over her frame, which dwarfed her significantly. Sometimes, Cloud truly forgot how thin and lithe she was. She held her own during combat, proving to be a fierce, feisty woman who wasn’t to be trifled with. But now, she looked utterly fragile, cold, and much like a desolate soul abandoned to journey to the ends of their dying planet as it burned away.

Shrugging himself out of his morbid, melodramatic thoughts before they consumed him, Cloud gently inquired, “What’re you doing here, Aerith?”

Momentarily, they both had to pause and wonder where that silly question had originated from. Technically, this was _Aerith’s_ home and property, yet he’d had the temerity to question her going wherever she wished. Gutsy. Foolish. Stupid.

Luckily, Aerith wasn’t at all disturbed or offended by his pompous attitude. Smiling in her usually warm, friendly manner, she gazed around slowly before stating openly, “I just came to check on you because Red and Tifa were worried sick. They thought you’d have an easier time talking to me.”

Mildly diogenic in his approach, Cloud uttered in a neutral tone, “Well, I guess that’s half-right.”

Irritably retreating to his murky ideas, especially surrounding the possibility that Aerith could have witnessed or heard what was going on, Cloud stood coldly and sternly as he stared head-on at her. He was silently hoping and begging that she wouldn’t say a word, but the way in which the brunette’s bright eyes twinkled suggested otherwise. Aerith was onto something, and she wasn’t shy about digging in for further details if she needed to.

But then again, as aggravating as Cloud felt that was, he also really liked and admired Aerith even more because of her resilience and dogged nature. Right about now, he knew that her notorious reputation would precede her, but he remained silent as she stared straight on into his eyes and right into the back of his head.

“Cloud,” she began in a cheerful, goluptious tone, “what were you doing out here before I showed up?”

Good question. With Aerith not revealing precisely what she’d heard, seen, or how much of it all she’d even seen or heard, he had no idea where to begin. Was she waiting for him to lie so she could catch him? Prove to their friends he couldn’t be trusted? Was she trying to find a way to take care of him and watch over him? Did she need there to be a reason for why they couldn’t fight, anymore? Was she concerned about him enough to let him do as he liked? Stumped by all the infinite possibilities echoing in his skull like loud bells, Cloud threw his arms up in defeat.

Unhinged, he roughly croaked, “I don’t know what you heard, but it isn’t what you think.” That bland answer would have to suffice. He couldn’t reveal too much, and he hoped that being ambiguous would clean up his mess.

Judiciously, Aerith retorted with a head shake. “No, Cloud,” she began in a stern tone set to eliminate all the arguments and hindrances abruptly. “I know what I heard, and I heard you talking to yourself again!”

Recklessly, her stridency had already worn him down. Cloud admonished aggressively, “I wasn’t!”

Sticking to her instincts, Aerith bravely pointed out, “You did it before when we were fighting those weird monsters, but I thought I was dreaming or imagining things because of the bad odors and mists!”

Not budging from his stance, Cloud stood firm and snorted crudely. “Well, I’m saying that it’s not true. I was planning things out loud back then, that’s all.”

Aerith paused, eyes wide and doe-like. Her nostrils flared in the way they often did when she was showing the first signs of exasperation, and Aerith’s demeanor truly subjugated Cloud. She glowered at him as she sighed melodramatically. “You’re hiding something, Cloud, and I think you need to talk to someone.”

Short fuse already tested, Cloud sniped out, “Yeah? And I think you need to get your nose out of my damn business if you really care about me as a friend.”

As soon as the rebarbative insult had flown out of his mouth, Cloud heard Aerith swallowing thickly and audibly in pain. The ex-SOLDIER abruptly turned to face the young friend he’d so deeply offended. Pitiable wasn’t even a word to be used as a description in this case. Prudence had gone right out the window, and he wished he’d shut his damn mouth.

Jaw and chin quivering, Aerith sniffled as though she’d been on the very brink of exploding in a fresh round of tears. Eyes wide and dewy, her skin turned a bright pink as pain and sorrow flooded over. Aerith’s wounded expression stopped him cold, and the one that followed when she tried to shield herself from how his words had stung her were even more brutal. Cloud had seen it a thousand times before, but it truly struck him like a saber running through his heart and lungs, now. It was the dispassionate face Aerith quickly put on when their enemies would come to torture them when they were in quite the bind; ever much the face of one hanging onto their strength and pride.

Under the guise of such an expression, Aerith Gainsborough was always the single warrior who carried herself as well as everyone else through when there was nothing left with which to fight. Whenever she was hurt, she still had a tendency to care more for others than for herself. Right now, however, the shining beacon of light that was Aerith seemed to be fading drastically, and it was all because of _him._

That such a look would be turned onto himself, as Aerith’s own partner Zack was highly unnerving, especially since Aerith hardly ever gazed at him with anything other than affection or fond exasperation. She obviously was going to burst sooner or later, but she remained steadfast on trying to bury and repress it all.

For a second, her shimmering mask slipped, and Cloud saw for the first time the serious curiosity and pain that lay beneath it. He had the uncomfortable, guilty feeling that he’d just kicked her when she was down. But then, like the survivor she was, Aerith recovered, seeming almost to flick a switch to bring down the cheer and optimism that protected her from the merciless truth.

Commendable and admirable, but this wasn’t the time nor the place.

Seeing her struggles and suffering plain as day, Cloud couldn’t quite contain his shock. No one good had ever given him the power to hurt them before like this. It was obvious that as she stood back with her hands loosely resting at her sides while the rest of her body went through a paralyzing state of despair, Aerith was waiting for him to wound her again. For all that they were friends, Cloud had never suspected that he could be this important to Aerith so much that his words stung her to this extent.

In dismay, he thought to himself, _‘I’m one of the worst people out there, aren’t I?’_ …The answer was quite obvious, but he knew that even if he’d asked it out loud, Aerith wouldn’t agree with his assertions at all. As always, she didn’t mind putting others before herself and her own immediate needs and comforts.

Taking a nervous gulp, Cloud sought to clear the obstruction from his throat so that he could speak. It felt like he’d swallowed a hand grenade. Cursing himself internally, he winced as he gently spoke out in hushed tones, “I want to apologize. I reacted badly before, and you totally didn’t deserve that, Aerith.” Head hanging low, he brokenly pressed on as sincerely and empathetically as he could. “I’m so sorry, Aerith.”

When he was through, Cloud winced. Even in remorse, he was awkward and bumbling. The words had sounded like a challenge even to his own ears. If Aerith didn’t want to accept them, he knew it’d probably be in her best interest. Heck, if he’d been apologizing this way to himself, he too would’ve likely spat at the words. She deserved way better after everything she’d been through.

Still keeping her standing position directly in front of Cloud, when the moon ducked away enough to bring darkness, Aerith’s features were kept out of the firelight and direct lighting. Light-hearted in every way, Aerith slowly smiled as she shrugged. “No apology is necessary, Cloud! It was an honest reaction!”

Stymied, Cloud grunted as he flushed deeply. “Err, really? That’s it?” He was indeed shocked. If he’d spoken in such a way to Tifa, well…things would turn sour pretty quickly. Aerith, however, didn’t seem all that miffed.

_‘There’s that overly generous, forgiving nature, I guess.’_

Waving his worries off, she giggled cordially. “I appreciate honesty the most, even if it’s a bit mean sometimes.” Rocking on the soles of her feet, she beamed widely. “I know I probably shouldn’t be asking this, but I’d still like to know what you were doing out here, Cloud.”

So she wasn’t going to let it go…he should’ve been prepared for as much, but Cloud was running out of excuses and lies. He didn’t know how to tell her that he was having second thoughts about Sephiroth. Not so much doubting as far as trusting him completely was concerned, but Cloud definitely was confused.

He couldn’t say that.

Clearing his throat and expelling the awkwardness right out, Cloud finally chose to respond. Slightly uncomfortable, he muttered in haste, “I was umm…th-thinking about…someone…”

Vague. Vague as ever. It wouldn’t do at all.

Aerith cocked an eyebrow, pouting before looking rather smug. “Someone?” she cooed delightfully, “a _special_ someone?”

The polite formality shivered through him like an icy downpour. “Aerith, I...this is kind of weird!” His face was redder than an apple, and he tried hiding it behind his gloves. Aerith wasn’t willing to put up with that, however, and she giggled as she danced a little closer to him.

On a high note, Aerith cheerfully sang, “It’s not weird, Cloud; it’s natural! You’re in looooveee!” Poking the tip of his nose playfully, she then bounced back and asked, “It’s Tifa, right?”

When he didn’t reply, Aerith stared on in fascination and eagerness at him, clasping her hands before her chest as she dramatically leaned into him. “Sooo?” she sang out in glee, “who’s your lucky girl?!”

He couldn’t lie to her and say that it was Tifa. As much as Cloud wanted for it to be that way, and as much as he genuinely and earnestly cared for Tifa, it would be another lie on top of the growing pile of lies he was already feeding his comrades. Not wanting them to add up to become a mountain, Cloud knew there wasn’t any way he could involve Tifa in this. It wouldn’t make sense, either way. He hadn’t spent much time with her alone, and he knew Tifa very well. If something had been brewing between them, it was likely that all their friends gossiped about it enough. Not that Cloud was looking to blame them, truthfully. If this damn soul bond accident had never occurred, he wouldn’t have doubted himself and denied his own heart when it came to courting Tifa Lockhart.

But now, things were murky, messy, and so damn confusing.

Frowning deeply, Cloud replied, “Well, n-no…I mean, yeah…err, like, I like her and care about her, but th-this is s-someone else?”

Aerith’s jaw dropped before she gasped, “Ooooh! Is it someone we would know?”

Cloud couldn’t stop himself from thinking, _‘Yeah…you all know him too well, and hate his guts.’_ Verbally, however, he lied through his teeth, “N-no, it’s just someone I met recently, and we’re umm…just talking a bit sometimes. It’s nothing serious.”

“So, she’s not your girlfriend?” Aerith winked, giggling and skipping around Cloud in a lazily circles.

Almost vomiting, Cloud felt his head turning dizzier and dizzier, while his gut lurched. If they were going for accuracy, it would be wiser to say ‘boyfriend’.

….

… _Boyfriend??_ Sephiroth would be anything _but._ It was already horrendous enough that he was fraternizing with their mortal foe, but to even as a joke pretend that Sephiroth was a romantic lover…absurdity knew no bounds.

Ducking swiftly when Aerith jumped energetically on his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, Cloud groaned, “Aerith! Come on! I don’t have time for this shit!” Trying desperately to remove her small, warm limbs from about his neck, he let out an exhausted sigh that soon broke out into a mild warning growl.

Leaping off him, Aerith coyly laughed. “Okay, okay! Sheesh! Calm down, mister!” Gleefully, she supplied helpfully, “I was just happy for you, that’s all!”

Weakly, Cloud stated in a monotone voice, “The luxury…I appreciate it, Aerith, but until I figure things out with h-her, I kind of don’t want the others hearing about it, okay?”

Blowing a warm puff of air out from the corner of her mouth that made her bangs shift and sway, Aerith crossed her arms over her chest. Pouting, she moodily relented. “Fine, Cloud! I’ll keep this between us, but you later on have to tell _me_ first who your girlfriend is, deal?”

Ignoring her stuck out hand before himself, Cloud stubbornly groused, “Whatever, Aerith. I’m gonna head inside and—”

Importunately, the young woman playfully quipped, “Not taking ‘no’ for an answer, Cloud! You owe me, so do we have a deal?” Once again shoving her hand close to his body, she waited as she almost innocently fluttered her long, thick eyelashes at him.

Chin jutting out in response, Cloud growled petulantly, “Save that expression for Zack.”

“Take my hand and shake on it, Cloud,” she laughed crisply. “I won’t let you go otherwise!!”

Praying she would hopefully forget in a few weeks, Cloud made up his mind. His feet ached, he was tired, and growing moodier by the minute. It was always better to agree with people if one needed for them to shut up…

Hesitantly, he stretched out his own hand, and after studying her beautiful face for a moment, he gave in. Cloud knew that she wouldn’t really forget, nor would she leave him alone about it. The promise of such was highly evident in her bottomless, passionate eyes, but as he lost himself in the opaline depths of those bluish, green orbs, the woman’s intent hardly mattered. All there was happened to be near lethal effect should he disregard her request.

“Deal.”

Their hands met, fingers intertwining in a delightful way. As their palms touched gently, Cloud was already vowing to himself that come dawn, he would focus on gathering a strong enough explanation for Aerith when this conversation came about in the foreseeable future.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud glared at his weapons and leftover Materia, knowing he had to look for new ones, and fast. Since Rufus Shinra ordered the attack on Avalanche, there was no telling how much worse things were going to get. It was bad enough that the Shinra Government’s army had already swept through the stocks and destroyed majority of the weapons, but after Barret and Marlene had taken a walk throughout the tunnels beneath _Seventh Heaven_ , they sadly discovered and reported that their once, supposed ‘illimitable’ treasures had been destroyed and gone.

The others Cloud had used rusted and melted away in the fight with the Salamander, leaving him with essentially not a damn thing to store in his weapons. Time to go hunting and scavenging.

After breakfast, bright and early, Cloud announced his intentions to Barret, first. Tifa soon got an earful, and in a jiffy, her spirits kicked up. She wanted to go with him, too…but she wasn’t so pleased about searching through the Sector 5 and 6 slums and scrap metal yards with Barret. It didn’t take Cloud too long to piece together that Tifa’s and Barret’s argument from last night had carried over with residual feelings of resentment and anger well into the next day. Simply put, Tifa didn’t want to be near Barret until she calmed down, and Barret felt much the same way.

Cloud decided to bring Tifa along. She was a strong, talented, and fast fighter. When Barret appeared to be offended, Cloud whispered to him that it was better to be around Marlene and the others, and he sealed a deal by promising Barret that drinks were on him when they returned. Copacetic to that idea, Barret had no other issues and complaints, and Cloud and Tifa were then off.

They walked together side by side, avoiding the more singed and damaged areas until they were completely out of Sector 7. The entire time, Cloud had examined Tifa’s demeanor and mannerisms, and he gathered soon enough that she was emotionally withdrawn and suffering from the events of the other day. He couldn’t blame her; they’d taken far too many losses in such a short span of time that even he himself was wondering if and when it would ever end.

The heat of the sun got to them after they exited Sector 7, and it was a nice reprieve after all the chaotic madness and dark nights that stretched on for too long. Their boots kicked around and pushed up small sticks, gravel, metal, glass, broken bottle parts, and anything except for useful items. Neither of them was discouraged, yet, and they enjoyed the warm, soothing rays of the bright sunshine as they walked on. Accompanied by a soft breeze that cooled off their skin, Cloud felt that at least the weather was rather gentle and pleasant.

Tifa walked on with her hands hanging down at her sides, but every now and then, she would massage her wrists and knuckles. It was relatively silent, and the day turned somnolent and quite hazy.

Smiling lightly as they walked on through heaps and stacks of old metal and robotic parts no longer operable and functioning, Tifa commented, “Today would’ve been a great day for a picnic.”

Cloud had to agree. Bending, he picked up a grey stone, and he played his own small game of ‘catch’ with it. Tossing it up and down in the air, he smirked as he stated, “Yeah, but we can do that later when we find Materia for our weapons.”

Watching the little stone fall into his hands before he threw it into the air again, Tifa’s bangs slowly curtained into her eyes. Pushing them back with a few fingers, she let out a wistful sigh. “Do you think we’ll be able to find something?” Gesturing and pointing around the junkyards, she noted, “It’s a mess here, Cloud.”

Not at all disparaged even though he had to agree, Cloud declaimed, “We gotta at least give it a shot, Tifa.”

As he tossed the small stone up and down a few more times, Tifa playfully leapt forth. Her right hand swatted the object clean out of the air, and it went crashing and sailing into the giant head of an old, rusted Sweeper lying down in the dirt.

Cloud gasped as he stared at the old machine, shaking his head slowly. “You’re just a treat, aren’t you Tifa?” he joked, elbowing her in amusement as she then ran up ahead a little.

“Come on, Cloud!” she laughed in excitement, her feet far too quick for his eyes to catch.

Inhaling deeply, he decided to run after her, kicking up even more pale dirt into the air as he took off. Soon, as the two friends ran while lost in the throes of their innocent laughter, a small ‘race’ of sorts had started. Tifa put forth an immense burst of power into her run, her hands pumping and cutting through the air at her sides as she propelled herself further. Cloud mirrored her actions, trying his best to kick off his strong legs and use his toned thighs to go even faster, but it was obvious who was going to remain in the lead.

Pointing ahead at an old Chocobo sign turning and swaying about in the wind, Tifa panted, “Whoever reaches and touches that sign wins!”

“You’re on!”

Cloud used every last bit of potent energy he had. He leaped instead of ran, but he was still no match for Tifa. She used her light weight to her advantage, and she flipped a few times through the air after taking off on her heels. Her arm was outstretched, and within seconds, as she was airborne, with her long hair flying about in her face, she slammed a hand down on the sign.

“Got it!” she cheerfully sang out, landing on her feet as she danced and chirked herself on. She hopped and skipped, hips swaying and moving gracefully in her own little celebration while Cloud stopped right next to her.

Resting his hands on his knees, he caught his breath after a few seconds, then reared up as he rolled his eyes.

Tifa held out her hand, awaiting his high-five. “Congratulations, Tiiiiffaaa!” she cooed, eyebrows raised expectantly at him.

Cloud groaned and didn’t raise his arm.

She gasped as she yanked his arm up. “I said: congratulations, Tiiiiifaaaa!” Knocking her shoulder into his chest, she moved him back a little while their hands clasped together almost perfectly.

Staring at where they were joined, Cloud sighed. “Congratulations, show off.” He didn’t mean it in a rude way, and she picked up on his hint as she giggled.

“Don’t be a sore loser, Cloud!” Wrapping her hand about his even tighter, she stared at where they made physical contact first before shifting her eyes to meet his.

Cloud swallowed nervously. Tifa was gorgeous, he thought, and there was no denying it. Her eyes reeled him in, and almost instinctively, he coiled his fingers about hers. As they stood together trading warmth and enjoying the closeness, wide smiles formed along their lips.

Cloud had to admit; he’d missed spending time alone with Tifa. Among all the wreckage, chaos, and madness, she was his one and only source of solace, and he yearned after that like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

As they’d been standing before each other basking in the purity and innocence they’d both been missing since their childhood, Cloud saw a shadow shifting a few feet away. Between two large sheds crowded to the very top with old machine parts, Sephiroth was standing erect. Apparently, he wasn’t too thrilled about what Cloud and Tifa were doing. Scowling intently at their hands, his upper lip soon curled back to reveal his pearly white teeth.

Cloud understood that he was reserving and dedicating his intempestive contempt for Tifa, especially. The way he was regarding the young woman seemed as though she’d done something heinous and evil, and it terrified Cloud. Immediately, Cloud broke the physical contact, turning away from his friend as he cleared his throat.

Appearing hurt, Tifa softly stated, “Oookay…that was a bit mean.” Shifting her weight back and forth between both legs, she eventually rested her hands on her hips as she frowned in confusion at him. “Did I do something wrong?”

Behind her, Sephiroth offered quietly, “Very much so.”

Cloud glared at Sephiroth for a moment, which caused Tifa to turn around and try to figure out what he was scowling at. When she couldn’t see anything, she groaned. “You’re acting weird, Cloud! What’s going on?!”

When she tried reaching for his face to cup it in both her hands, Cloud backed away and instead moved down the path. Walking right past Sephiroth boldly, he held his head up, didn’t initiate eye contact, and only called out to Tifa, “Nothing’s going on. We’re just wasting time, and we have to get back before the sun sets.”

When he crossed by Sephiroth, the taller male glanced at him blankly. Surprisingly, he didn’t say a word.

Emitting a deep sigh indicative of annoyance and her rebarbative temper steadily rising, Tifa resigned to following him.

Hearing her footsteps closely behind his own, Cloud carefully cried out, “We’re getting close to Sector 6; keep an eye out for anything useful.”

“Anything useful?” Sephiroth snorted, but Cloud ignored him. He knew the One Winged Angel was going to trail them, but he was very grateful at least that Tifa wasn’t able to see and hear his presence. All he had to do was remind himself not to react and appear crazier than he probably already did.

They all traveled eerily silently and civilly together, save for the occasional scowl Sephiroth mordantly threw at Tifa whenever she got too close to Cloud. Though Sephiroth kept his barbed comments to himself, Cloud discovered that as they journeyed like this, nothing felt too badly out of place.

Tifa searched through various scraps quickly before tossing and pushing them all aside. Whenever she thought she’d located something good, she would bring it over to Cloud and present it to him so he could identify whether it would be useful or not. However, Sephiroth, who was also standing near Cloud, would be very quick to provide the answer for them.

“No good,” he hissed when Tifa offered up a blue Materia.

Cloud examined it, turning it over himself a few times. He held onto the hope that Sephiroth was wrong, but alas, he wasn’t. Shaking his head sadly, he stated, “Nah, keep looking, Tifa; this one doesn’t even have juice in it.”

As he said this, Tifa nodded and took to pushing through the dirt with her black boots. As Cloud joined her, Sephiroth glared down at them both before nodding over further down the path. An old windmill of sorts surrounded by other wheels and tires loomed about. It looked like a huge, dangerous dead end, and Cloud had no idea why Sephiroth was even suggesting they look there.

Ignoring the taller ex-SOLDIER, Cloud moved past the scrap parts, eventually landing his sights on old Shinra crates and boxes. With his Hardedge equipped, he smashed and broke through them. As he did so, Sephiroth hummed the same damn jejune song he’d been heard humming a few times already.

As Cloud sorted through the empty boxes before smashing through others, Sephiroth commented dryly, “Empty.”

To his deep chagrin, an irritated Cloud found that Sephiroth was correct.

Tifa stood as she pushed down her dark skirt and brushed off her white tank top. Scouring along the horizon, she asked, “Should we look around some more?”

Moodily, Cloud answered, “Yeah, let’s keep on going.”

Picking up the pace so he fell in line with Tifa, he never noticed her eyes falling to his arm bearing the dark Geostigma. Although he’d still wrapped a bandana about it, when the wind blew it back, Tifa got a clear enough view of the ghastly mark.

She softly touched his arm, nearly causing Cloud to leap right out of his skin. “Tifa!” he cried out as he tried readjusting the cloth. “What’re you doing??”

Worried, she inquired carefully, “When were you going to tell me about this, Cloud?”

Panicking, he grunted as he inched away from her. “Wh-when the time was right!” Nearby, Sephiroth shook his head, but Cloud focused more on Tifa rather than at the fastidious entity that was clearly trying to do everything in his power to get on his nerves.

Closing the gap between their bodies, Tifa approached more aggressively. “What is it, anyway?” she asked as she poked and tapped the mark a few times. “I thought it was dirt when I first saw it on your arm a few days ago, but it never went away.”

Cloud glanced at Sephiroth, and the older male walked on ahead past the broken and run-down homes and small playground in Sector 6. Following in his footsteps without giving it much thought, Cloud led Tifa forward along the way.

Rubbing his arm, he sighed in defeat, “It’s…it was supposed to be a tattoo…”

Sephiroth immediately paused, and as he barely glowered at Cloud over his broad shoulder, he rolled his eyes. “A tattoo? Humph!”

Tifa even looked like she didn’t believe it, but perhaps to keep things calm and collected, she merely nodded. “Alright, Cloud,” she began in a deep breath. “I hope that’s really the case.”

Gliding past a slide and a few seesaws, Cloud orated hesitantly, “It is. Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay?” He watched as Tifa peered beneath overturned barrels, slides, swings, and benches.

Straightening herself up when she’d finished searching, she skipped over a few chalk drawings in the dark pavement. “I wonder why you’d want a tattoo, Cloud,” she ventured aloud while Sephiroth skirted past her, standing vigilant as he eyed a few more abandoned cars and carts.

Cloud tried not to wince as Sephiroth scanned and surveyed the immediate area. There were times Cloud’s enhanced senses were an obscure thing to handle, pain being perhaps the hardest. There was nothing like feeling battered up as black and blue bruises formed on his skin. Hell, there wasn’t anything that could even remotely compare to a bullet grazing the umpteenth level of awareness. Between the throbbing ache permeating his entire body and the relentless olfactory barrage of cologne, deodorants, sweat, and body odor lingering in the once crowded playground, he was almost wishing for a zone out. But that was always dangerous when Sephiroth was around.

Tifa wasn’t all that interested in searching for more items as time wore on. She kept watching Cloud, following him closely as she spoke out, “Do you even like tattoos?”

Cloud gave a tiny shrug. “Not really, but I guess I could use a bit of a change, maybe.”

Sephiroth stiffly pointed at the abandoned cars messily crashed and parked near the edge of the playground. Cloud gazed at them, and as he squinted past the damage, he eyed a few shiny objects.

Making his way towards the vehicles, he stated to Tifa, “Anyway, I don’t think you need to worry about me; worry about our future, and if you can patch things up with Barret.” He snaked his hands in the back of the truck, and as he inched up on his toes and climbed into it, he sighed in relief when he found a few healing potions and discarded antidotes.

Tifa soon hopped in the back of the truck with him, but she nervously fidgeted about. “We’ll be fine,” she pointed out factually and rationally. “We’ve all had pretty bad arguments, but we’re a team in the end and it’ll all work out.”

Cloud frowned when he pushed through clothes, garbage bags, and bits of furniture, but couldn’t find anything else useful. Gently, he intoned to Tifa, “You sure do have a lot of faith in us, Tifa.” He then glared up past the windmill looming ahead almost a hundred feet away, wondering if it really was time to get their hands dirty and search through that unmarked area.

Wouldn’t it be dangerous?? Without all their Materia, they couldn’t inflict nearly half as much damage…

Carrying on the conversation, Tifa cheerfully chirped, “Someone’s gotta have some faith, Cloud! Glad it’s me!”

As she played with bits of her hair, Cloud felt fresh waves of exhaustion seeping into his system. He’d been tempted to call this all off and turn back, when Sephiroth silently pointed past the back windshield of the truck and into the backseat. Espying a few more boxes, Cloud used the handle of his sword to bash through them. As they exploded, he located golden Materia and green Magic Materia, again.

Nodding up at Sephiroth, he rasped in appreciation, “Thank you.”

Giggling, Tifa muttered, “What’re you thanking me for, Cloud?”

Freezing up at once, Cloud’s mind went blank for a moment before he hurriedly blurted out, “F-for being smart, I guess?”

Sephiroth snorted. “What a clever save.”

Cloud’s jaw tightened as he accidentally bit his tongue while seething away. _‘Oh shut up, you!’_

As he swiped the Materia into his hands swiftly, Tifa eyed the windmill pleasantly. “I’m not super smart, Cloud…”

“Indeed?” Sephiroth pushed out, causing Cloud to growl softly in the back of his throat.

“…But I know that if you’re by my side, I’ll be stronger each day!” When she’d finished her lovely statement, Sephiroth looked like he was going to be sick.

Cloud stood, shrugging as he eyed shadows moving in the distance. “It’s nothing,” he coldly pressed on, “let’s just head back, now, okay?”

Nodding, Tifa leapt out of the truck, first, and as Cloud languidly followed while training his eyes on the windmill, he failed to see one of the shadows creeping up quite close to Tifa…

“Hey guys! What’re you doing here?”

Tifa shrieked, and Cloud felt the hairs on his neck standing. Withdrawing his weapon for a moment, as he turned to peer at the owner of the voice, he nearly whined in protest and dismay when he caught Chadley standing right next to Tifa. Wearing a clean white shirt and matching shorts, he looked quite presentable and not at all dirty as though he’d been rummaging through anything. His light-colored hair billowed back and moved due to the wind, and he smiled in excitement at them.

Again, when Tifa and Cloud were silent, he repeated, “What’s going on, here?”

Sephiroth paused, blinking hard as he was thrown off course. “What an annoying voice…”

Though he agreed, Cloud put his weapon back and crossed his arms while steadily approaching Chadley. “What’re _you_ doing so far away from Sector 7, Chadley?” he inquired as he recalled seeing Chadley last near his room.

Staring back and forth between Cloud and Tifa, with an air of innocence that lingered on ignorance, Chadley replied smoothly, “I was searching for new intel, Cloud! During these hard times, I need to try and keep up with any upcoming battle intel so I can use it all to develop new Materia and spells!”

….

Sephiroth’s nostrils flared, and his right hand twitched. “I…I want to kill him…” he stated in vexation, dark gloved fingers twitching close to Chadley’s head as though intending to grab him.

The sight of it all was rather comedic, to say the least, but it was hardly a laughing matter.

Covering all signs of his burning laughter with a hand, he coughed a few times before pushing and nudging Chadley out of the way. “Go home, Chadley,” Cloud instructed both politely, and authoritatively as he gently guided the shorter male forth as far away from Sephiroth as he could.

Humming in thought, Chadley only struggled back momentarily before he acquiesced. “Alright, Cloud! Will you also be heading home?”

“Yep,” Cloud answered as Tifa nodded eagerly. “Our work is done here.”

“Great!” Chadley beamed in his boyishly innocent way. “Can I join you?”

Looping her arm about his, Tifa chuckled ecstatically. “Sure! The more the merrier, right, Cloud?”

Offering her a lopsided grin, Cloud led the way.

As they all traveled together as one unit, Sephiroth soon hung back. His eyes reflected the orange, glowing rays and hues of the sun beautifully. No one glanced back to see it, but it remained as his own personal secret. With a longing gaze, he smiled at the sky and clenched his right hand in a loose fist.

“Strange, it hurts no more…”


	13. Equilibrium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my sister for inspiring me to come up with the name of this fictional night club in Sector 6!

Cloud knew Zack was beyond weary and drained, but he considered his efforts fruitful and quite commendable, to say the least. As he knew, a few days of rest seemed to be quite beneficial for the former SOLDIER. He’d healed and almost fully recovered from his wounds in no time, and he wanted to help out. Cloud admired that side of Zack the most, and it empowered himself even further to achieve greatness.

When Zack gained enough energy to walk around, he helped everyone build a small wall and fence surrounding their camp that protected them from deadly and mutated creatures Rufus Shinra was still setting loose on them. It went without saying that there was no doubt that both the monsters as well as Rufus’ army were growing stronger and stronger by day.

Priorities changed at once. Though Avalanche still discussed their future plans regarding Sephiroth, they wasted no time training new teams for back up and security, even going so far as to ensure all the women knew the very basics of self-defense. Zack and Cloud divided them all in groups, and quite soon, Zack really began enjoying his ‘teaching position’.

It felt like being back in the Shinra Electric Power Company all over again for Cloud. Everyone learned the very basics of self-defense, and when ready, Barret and a few members struck out to gather more weapons, food, clothing, as well as medical supplies in cases of emergency.

Although he’d been alone for far too long, now that Zack especially was again among friends with the hope that they all had a fighting chance at surviving, the brave young man felt his luck and confidence return to himself in no time. They’d weathered through all sorts of storms, and Cloud noticed that as the days passed on, they had yet to really sit down for much of a chance to talk. He still had a lot of open questions for Zack, but it was never the right time to ask them, it unfortunately seemed.

Anger spiking up due to his impatience, Cloud was unnecessarily grueling and difficult, especially with some of the younger men who’d been placed under rigorous and intense training. He demanded better from them and often set them on the most laborious and time-consuming tasks, so much that Tifa had to beg him to stop.

Seething and fuming, Cloud hissed for her to stay away, but Tifa wasn’t going to listen. She shouted at him that he’d been acting more aggressively than before, and much like a ‘damn dictator’. When Red and Aerith also stepped in to warn Cloud of what it was he’d been doing, the hotheaded youth slowly snapped out of it.

“I just want them all to be safe,” the irritated blonde began in what no doubt passed for a conciliatory tone in his mind. “We weren’t prepared last time, and now that I’m trying to help, you guys won’t let me??”

As angry as he was, he still remembered speaking with Biggs in Aerith’s church not too long ago, and the sullen conclusion he’d arrived at was that all their issues, if not majority of them, could’ve been vastly avoided and prevented had he stayed vigilant and strong throughout their battles. He needed to be a better, wiser, stronger leader, and right now, he felt anything but.

Shrugging off Barret and Red when they got in his way, eager to stop him, his fastidious growling and harsh words soon caught Zack’s attention. Wiping sweat off his brow with a sullied cloth, he limped over with a makeshift cane as he stopped right before Cloud.

Inquisitively, though not too nosy, he asked softly, “What’s going on?”

Huffing grumpily, Barret answered curtly, “Your boy here is refusing to take this shit lightly, and he’s workin’ everyone to the bone.” Nodding at Zack, then, he gruffly stated, “Why don’t you talk to him and knock some sense into his damn head?”

Cloud snarled as he brushed past Zack, who’d bravely inserted himself between him and Barret like a human buffer zone. As ever when nervous, Zack’s mouth went into overdrive. Always the peacemaker, the young man pasted a thin smile on his face and started talking faster than a buzz saw.

“Don’t worry,” he soothingly comforted the more perturbed members of Avalanche all with a smile gracing his handsome face. “Cloud’s wound up pretty tight sometimes, but he means well!”

Cocking an eyebrow in Cloud’s direction, Barret protested sharply, “Yeah? Well I’ve known Cloud for some time, too, but I got the feelin’ that this ain’t the same Cloud we all know and care about!”

What the heck was that supposed to mean, then? Barret wasn’t making the least bit of sense with this.

Subdued so as to not create more problems, Cloud defended himself while he growled, “As if you even knew me from moment one, Barret.” Referring to when they were initially teaming up to destroy Mako Reactor 1, Cloud had to confine himself and restrict his emotions before they resulted in a detrimental act. Choosing his words wisely and carefully, he commented quickly to Barret, “You doubted me, right? Took you a while to warm up to me, right?”

Narrowing his eyes at him, then, Barret barked, “The heck’s that mean? That was a whole different experience, and you’re comparing apples to oranges, merc!”

“Oh, so we’re back to the ‘merc’ bullshit again, huh?”

Gaping, Tifa hissed tersely, “Cloud! Stop!”

“Hey, hey, easy there, Cloud,” Zack tried mediating gently, switching back and forth between staring at Barret, Red, and Cloud. “Let’s all just re-think about what our main aim is, here, instead of leaping at each other.”

Although it was a logical, sapient form of advice, Cloud’s current proclivities and interests lay elsewhere. If Cloud had an inkling what was going on, he too would’ve assumed he was overworked, too exhausted, and mentally drained. However, he _knew_ without a shadow of doubt that in his case, it was far more complicated and more serious than that.

It was as though Cloud had slowly turned into an entirely new person. Unsure of exactly _when_ this change had been brought about, either way, to see his friends and closest companions dissenting this way gave him conniptions. He didn’t think this would be a matter of ploughing on through, acting strong and holding it together for very long. Everyone was getting on his nerves…everyone aside from Zack, that was. The dark-haired young man remained as calm, friendly, and approachable as he could.

Smiling warmly at Cloud, his vivaciousness was well-received, but Cloud was unable to return and welcome it. “Cloud,” Zack softly orated, his good nature embellishing all his kindness and words. “Take a break here. I got this, okay?”

Already slipping into hysterics, Cloud spat, “Yeah, I’m such a god damn nuisance to you all, aren’t I?” Well, that figured nicely in his plans, and theirs. After all, maybe they would always see him as a mercenary who wanted to get the job done so he could get paid.

As he waved his hand dismissively at his friends and stalked off, Tifa cried out at his back, “Drop that attitude, Cloud!” Running at him, she gently tugged on his arm, attempting to drag him back over to the rest of the team members. “You promised Barret a drink, didn’t you?” she reminded him cheerfully as she tilted her head gently at him. “Why don’t we all go out, then?”

Contemplating it long enough as he did suddenly enabled Cloud to feel so inadequate. Mortified by his own vacuous demons plaguing his thoughts, he wished he’d possessed the ability to turn away and sulk off somewhere. But all too quickly, Barret seemed to be in the mood for drinks and a good night out once he had an earful of their conversation.

“Hell yeah!” he cried out in vivacity and bright exuberance after abandoning his vanity at once. “That’s a damn good idea, Tifa!”

Nose drawn up as though scenting something fetid, Cloud mumbled to himself, “Where are we gonna go? And why _now??_ People here need us.”

Pouting, Tifa hissed, “Don’t suck the fun out of life, Cloud. Our people can handle themselves!” She was certainly rather impavid and undaunted as she sang this out, and it troubled Cloud for a moment.

He bemoaned heavily, “But who will stay behind just in case Rufus Shinra decides he wants to test his damn monsters on live subjects?”

As gruesome and ghastly as that sounded, the question lingered in the air much like something burning mightily. No one appeared to be up to the task, and Cloud truly couldn’t blame them. They deserved some time out away from all the craziness, and as every member of Avalanche glanced about at one another, it was obvious that no one was willing to volunteer to stay behind.

Suddenly, Barret offered, “Well, Zack and Aerith maybe could?”

Zack frowned at him for stating that. “I’d rather not,” he swiftly objected. “Fresh air would do me some good, and I want to spend some time with my Aerith.” The bedraggled male nodded at everyone else, leaning against his cane.

For a moment, Cloud truly felt guilt shooting up and down into his skull. A good leader wouldn’t allow his friends to abandon everyone and everything else just for a ‘good time’. Sticking by them all would irroborate those who could fight. Personal adventures called to him, much as they no doubt called to anyone else. There were times when he felt he needed a break from all this. Though that had been the case many times before when he’d been introduced to Avalanche, Cloud hardly thought it was appropriate, now. Times were different, and he was feeling rather…trapped as of late. Trapped between where his true loyalties lay and trapped when it came to the oddity surrounding his relationship with Sephiroth.

Throwing his left arm up in the air, Barret groaned, “Well, _someone’s_ gotta man up for the task!”

Behind him, Red hissed irritably, “You’re going to end up forcing me to stay behind anyway, so in order to avoid all that unnecessary conflict, I’ll spare you the sentiments and volunteer.”

“Aww, thank you, Red!” Tifa beamed at him in gratitude.

Spinning around on his heel, Barret snorted crudely. “The hell you thankin’ him for? He doesn’t even drink!”

Winking playfully, Red stated with an irrisory demeanor, “I know. That’s the funny part.”

The high spirits somehow returned to Avalanche shortly thereafter. Barret and Zack soon began planning for the trip to a luxurious, entertaining pub in Sector 6, while Red vowed to help Marle and anyone else he could. Once it was decided, they all moved along, eager to set off. Sadly, as happy as they were to enjoy themselves, Cloud and Tifa hung back in thought.

Perplexed, Cloud only felt his body moving on autopilot, mind already hundreds of galaxies away from the present time on Gaia. Tifa examined him carefully in concern, but due to his scrambled visions and thoughts, he never paid her attention.

Like a curtain falling after the last scene in a play, all the eager anticipation was draped by hurt, those too-expressive, earnest red eyes staring at Cloud like a wounded puppy.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Perpetual dissatisfaction seemed quite common in all creative endeavors in Cloud’s life. The weather had shifted drastically by the time everyone was ready to journey to a new pub in Sector 6 called _Amaris._ It seemed nothing like _Seventh Heaven_ from the outside, but no one wanted to pass it up and prejudge. Already, it was far too cold and rainy, and the promise of being indoors was far greater than being picky and choosy.

Tired to the bone, Cloud shut off the ignition and dragged himself away from his motorbike. The moment he caught sight of the pub, he felt quite befuddled. Considering the way his day had gone, he supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that they were here. Everyone was tired and quite starved for social interaction. An obedible Cloud tried to avoid the drizzle that had now turned to a vicious, punishing downpour. The rain was coming down in a near solid wall of icy water, and no one would be safe from it unless they hid indoors. Perhaps that had generously contributed to majority of the citizens populating Sector 6 to venture to this pub in the first place.

No sooner did he step away from his bike and inch closer to the front doors, when he sensed his hair and clothes were soaked through. The freezing liquid pellets bit into his face like hail, a cold so deep that it burnt bare skin. Behind him, Barret, Tifa, Zack, and Aerith caught up, moving quickly as well. Rather than racing to the entrance as was his habit in bad weather, Cloud was simply standing there gazing glassily off to where the fog was still rolling in from the water. He seemed to be fascinated by the way the rain was tearing the wispy fragments of fog to shreds. The young man was already drenched, his hair a dark blonde shade, glistening slick against his skull, the trailing ends pasted to his cheeks.

Repressing an icy shiver that ran through his spine when the raindrops slid and glided down the back of his neck right to his tailbone, Cloud gaped around like a fish. What was he even hoping for? What was he looking for? It was night, and the lights emanating from within the pub called out to him. That was where he had to be; not out in the rain shivering to the bone.

_‘Why am I searching for him? Why do I want him to be here? I should be heading inside before someone—’_

“Cloud! Get in here, silly!” Aerith suddenly cried out, sticking her head out the doors to wave him over. “You’ll freeze out there! Stop daydreaming, you goose!” Her face gently transformed instantly into a blindingly sweet smile Cloud found welcoming and charming.

Picking up his feet, he followed her in without another word. His gaze ran disinterestedly over the pool of bobbing, empty faces on the dance floor below, stopping and returning as he encountered a newly familiar face to the left of the stage, gazing up at him with almost rapt attention. As Cloud squinted and tried focusing, he was shoved and tugged aside by dancers and waitresses rushing about. Barret had reserved a decent table for them, but only Tifa sat before him. Aerith and Zack wished to be alone, and they were already dancing close to the stage as other swaying couples happened to be.

But that face…Cloud was more than damn sure he recognized the individual from somewhere. He couldn’t recall, but there was no way to check after more people crowded the cloistered pub. The lights were dimmed, and the ambiance went all dark, smoky, and glassy.

Tapping his arm, Tifa led Cloud to the booth reserved for them, and Barret was already settling into it comfortably. “Come on!” she robustly demanded, leaning in close to be heard over the loud pop music blaring from the speakers.

Cloud silently obeyed, though every once in a while, he peeked around. He didn’t like doing this, but he was beyond paranoid. Someone was watching them, and he was certain of it more than day and night. The familiar sensation of strange eyes observing his every move wasn’t one he could ignore. Hoping it was only his imagination was futile. After years of being trained for this, he had to search for his watcher without being caught.

Leaning over the shiny, clean table, Barret flagged down a bartender in no time. His suave grin caught the bartender’s eye and he ordered, “Give my friends and I here a round on me and then please bring a double vodka, straight up, and a dry martini to that couple over there…” He made a point to gesture at Aerith and Zack. Smiling again, he sighed, “Sound okay?”

When the bartender nodded, Barret tossed fifty gil at the bespectacled proprietor and told him to keep the change.

That same unexpected shiver quivered through his insides the moment Cloud turned to gaze across the pub. Through the flashing lights, he saw what appeared to be dark brown eyes peering menacingly at him before they disappeared between a sea of sweaty, dancing bodies. The roar that greeted the final note to the music was a sharp contrast to the lackluster applause the band had received all night. As the crowd cried for more, Cloud felt even more bored out of his mind. Cloud looked to Barret and Tifa for possible inspiration. They gazed back at him, and the former Shinra SOLDIER cocked his head in question.

“What?”

Barret sighed in defeat. “Merc, would it kill ya to try and have some fun?”

Tifa scooted so close to Cloud that their thighs touched, and the moment they did, something strange burned within Cloud. Whether it was his heart, lungs, throat, or ears, he wasn’t able to properly differentiate and trace the source of the pain. All he knew was that it singed worse than being struck with a match and set on fire.

Not wanting to offend Tifa, he turned his head to stare out the soaked window at the world outside. Everything was much more visible from the parking area than it had been from the garden out back.

“Daydreamin’, merc?” Barret taunted him shrewdly as he continued gazing outside. “Figured you’d be bored already!”

While Cloud watched, a dark shadow stepped resolutely out from between a few large trucks. It moved as though it owned the night, slipping and sliding determinedly toward the center where an unfrozen, shadowy area could still be seen gathering around it in hordes and masses. The thing, whatever it was, it wasn’t alone…and it was glaring right at him on the other side of the drenched window.

The idea and suspicion he’d felt in terms of being watched was highly evident to him, now. Though for what purpose, he didn’t know, nor was he any closer to finding out the veracity of the theories he’d been entertaining as to who was watching him.

It could’ve been anyone…

He was unceremoniously jerked out of his musings and pondering by a vivacious Zack and Aerith. Clearly through with the dancing for the night, possibly due to Zack’s wounds and recovery, the couple found a spot next to Barret, squeezing themselves in right until they felt they weren’t comfortable. Pointedly, they made some much-needed arrangements, which entailed Aerith sitting on Zack’s lap.

After they whispered and giggled together about a secret only known to themselves, Zack winked over playfully at Cloud. “Having fun?”

Barret decided to answer. “Nah, he ain’t,” he hissed with a strong head shake. “Boy’s as bored as ever.”

Ruthlessly suppressing every emotion he owned, Cloud blanked his face of feeling before turning back to his companions. About to shrug off Zack’s inquiry, Cloud’s attention was briefly captured by a pop song playing over the club’s deafening speaker system. In this particular club in Sector 6, they did nothing in a small way; unless the music was loud enough to shatter one’s eardrums, it was barely worth playing. So far tonight, Cloud had somewhat tuned out the melodramatic noise through sheer willpower, but now that he’d stopped concentrating on blocking it, it crashed over him like a flood tide.

Tifa gently leaned against him, and when she did, Cloud caught the growing look of concern flooding Aerith’s eyes.

“So, Cloud,” Tifa began softly, trying to make conversation, “what do you think of _Amaris_?”

“It’s not as cozy as _Seventh Heaven_ , but it’ll do, I suppose.” He kept his reply short and snippy, but when he noticed Tifa blushing, he knew she’d misinterpreted his statement. Aerith seemed truly upset, and she shook her head in despair.

Before Cloud could form any reply, let alone process the information, the bartender arrived with their drinks. Both Zack and Tifa gave a slight jump as the rotund individual placed their glasses before them, the table slightly shaking when Aerith tried moving off Zack’s lap, perhaps out of embarrassment now that someone else was close.

Sighing, Barret was the first to toss back his vodka. He waited for its burning heat to fill himself deeply, then, he let out a small hiccup. Tifa seemed repulsed by it, but she let out a small snicker just the same.

Pushing her hair back over her broad shoulders, she suddenly announced, “I just need to visit the ladies’ room for a moment, be right back!” Waving at her friends, she skipped off, disappearing among the horde of patrons.

It appeared that this was the night for golden opportunities; the moment Tifa left, a slim, redheaded female with light brown freckles kissing her cheeks and the bridge of her nose eyed Cloud rather flirtatiously in a booth close by. She made her intentions clear as she raised a hand which was covered from the elbow to her knuckles in black leather gloves. On her upper torso, she wore a black spaghetti strap top, and on her lower torso, she’d donned a thin, hot-pink miniskirt that was quite flashy.

“Woah,” Zack chuckled as he gasped for air, eyeing his beverage warily. Coughing after he’d sampled it, his eyes squinted, watered, and then he widened them as he shook his head firmly. “This is a lot stronger than I recall…”

Barret barked out a hearty laugh at this. “How old are you, son? Ten?! You can’t hold your water, huh?”

“Oooh, I can,” came the amused comment from across the table as Zack snorted. “Trust me, so can Cloud! We used to sneak in as much alcohol as we could after training!”

Sputtering in bewilderment, Aerith puissantly cried, “Zack! You never told me that!”

Wincing as though he momentarily forgot about his girlfriend, Zack swiftly offered with a cringing facial expression, “Err, all the guys did it, babe! It wasn’t just me! Come on!”

“Well, I think it’s funny as hell,” Barret laughed in his own charming way before turning to face Cloud. “I bet Cloud here couldn’t hold his liquor to save his own ass!”

Trying to shake off the effect of the intempestive words while Zack and Barret guffawed in enjoyment, Cloud stared off at the dance floor. Instinctively, his gaze homed in on the girl with the hot pink miniskirt. Apparently, she’d now taken it upon herself to put on quite the show for him. Giving him a good view of her body, she twirled and swayed her hips about in wide circles. Her hazel eyes were still alight with excitement, her gold-studded red shawl billowing out around herself.

He wasn’t seeking any dalliance, but when he gaped at her in the throes of her erratic, wild dancing, he caught her winking at him, clearly inviting him for the purposes of intimacy.

Cloud swallowed thickly, his golden eyebrows raised in mild curiosity. Aerith noticed it, ever the observant, clairvoyant young woman she was. Shoving her beverage aside with a gentle swipe of her hand, she cleared her throat, catching Cloud’s attention.

Leaning close to him, she whispered hotly, “Cloud, what’re you doing?!”

Blandly, he paused, then blinked quickly as he sat stunned. “What?”

Annoyed that he only had that to offer, Aerith repeated, “What’re you doing?!”

Slowly, Cloud felt obganiated, almost as much as Aerith. The folly that entailed them both-answering their questions with more questions in an odd cycle-was grating. Aerith flushed deeply, and without saying anything else, she snatched Cloud’s wrist in a dainty hand.

“Get over here.” Tugging him to his feet, as she yanked him forth through the pub, Zack and Barret blinked at them as they too were stymied. Zack hurriedly sputtered, asking where they were going, but the music soon drowned out the rest of his cries.

Aerith only stopped when she had no more room to struggle. They were both almost at the side of the front doors, far away from listening ears and prying eyes. A few more people strolled inside the pub, shaking off the icy, dewy drops of the rain from their clothes, the squeaking of their footwear making Cloud’s ears ache. Aerith crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her back against the cold brick wall, taking up quite the stern-looking veneer.

Sternly, she mordantly pointed out for him, “You have a girlfriend, and yet you’re gawking at another girl?!” Like an angry parent on their last nerve, she chided him harshly, “Shame on you, Cloud!!”

Oh. So _that_ was what she was choosing to gripe about. Well, he couldn’t exactly be angry with her or find fault within Aerith for this. She was quite a loyal friend, and she was entirely dedicated romantically to Zack, from what he’d seen and noted in their interactions. It made perfect sense as to why she would be less than thrilled with what Cloud was doing, especially considering how yes, he had mentioned a supposed ‘girlfriend’…

Bitterly, he thought to himself, _‘Looks like I shot myself in the foot, here.’_

Fidgeting awkwardly, Cloud really didn’t want a fresh velitation to become of this. Recent ones were no doubt already brewing, but he wanted to try and save himself from the slew of harshness Aerith was no doubt storing away as ammunition for his crude and offensive actions.

Tossing her a mix of a pleading and an innocent look, Cloud whispered carefully, “I wasn’t going to do anything! What kind of a person do you think I am, Aerith?!” He was insulted, truly, and his angry composure revealed more of it than what words could say.

Huffing, Aerith pointed a sharp finger at him, prodding him in the stomach with it a few times until his back pressed up against the wall, as well. “Cloud!” she admonished in a maternal tone the young man wanted to escape from yet knew he couldn’t. “How would _you_ like it if your girlfriend was looking at other guys?! That’s not nice!!”

Groaning, he argued, “But it wasn’t me! The girl was doing most of that!”

“Don’t care, Cloud!” she threw back as she tapped him in the chest, now. “I already promised not to tell anyone anything about your girlfriend, but now you have to also promise both yourself and her that you won’t go looking at or thinking about anyone else!”

He wanted so very badly for this conversation to be over. Aside from being grating, this was taxing. Cloud was sore-vexed when he’d been senselessly accused of doing something horrible. Aside from that, he very much doubted that Sephiroth cared at all about who he was spending time with, conversing with, or ogling.

It wasn’t anyone’s damn business.

Wagging her finger pointedly in his face, Aerith began angrily, “It’s a commitment! Otherwise, just be honest, and tell her you’re not ready!!”

Glumly, Cloud whispered, “If only it were that easy…”

She hadn’t caught that, but she asked, “What did you say?”

Bunching up his shoulders into his neck when a gust of cold, stormy wind blew in past the doors, Cloud shivered in disdain. He was done talking about this, but he wasn’t entirely through with wondering about the soul bond. Aerith seemed to be well-versed in it, and he was already trying to subtly work it into their conversation…that is, if she would even allow him.

Still adamant on lecturing him, Aerith bit out shrewdly, “Poor Tifa! I wonder what’s taking her in the bathroom, but she deserves you more than this mysterious girlfriend of yours whom you clearly aren’t thinking about!” Pointing across the pub, she illustrated clearly, “You’re looking at other girls!”

His heart now became a painful lump in his throat, though Cloud endeavored to keep his cool. “You may have a great point, Aerith, but I’m kind of…err, stuck right now?” His question ended abruptly in the air, and Aerith only rolled her eyes.

Gaping, Cloud sputtered, “What would you have me do? Flirt around and mislead some poor girl into thinking that she means more to me than a one-night stand?”

Waving a hand, Aerith curtly stated, “No, that’s more Johnny’s thing, I guess.”

Shaking his head firmly, he conceded, “Well there you go. I’m not the kind of guy you think I am, Aerith, but I’m done talkin’ about this, okay?”

She bit something incoherent out, but Cloud was already set on chasing after his newest question. He’d already presupposed that Aerith herself had been quite familiar with the workings of a soul bond, and she perhaps knew more that would eventually help him get himself out of the small grave he’d been digging through.

Perhaps…any lead was a good lead, and he was willing to seek it out.

Patiently, he composed himself rather well in spite of being chilled to the bone. Without hesitating nervously, he smoothly inquired, “So, soul bonds can’t really go around being with anyone else, right?” Hearkening back to what Sephiroth had warned would happen, Cloud purposefully drove the conversation down that path.

Clearing his throat, he coughed out hurriedly in a mess, “If you’re soul-bound, does that mean you’re basically tied to that person?”

Tilting her head in a peculiar manner at him as her bangs fell into her eyes, Aerith sighed, “More research from Marle and Red?” The way she forced this out seemed to suggest enough, and Cloud didn’t want to put up an argument in case it backfired enough to the point where she was changing her mind to answer.

“Whatever,” she breathed painfully. “Yes, like I told you, Cloud, this is a very important form of bonding, and it requires total devotion!”

“Plus, spirits of Ancients don’t care about other things most people do, right?” Cloud ventured out loud, feeling confident once Aerith confirmed that in a firm nod.

“Right! A lot of humans still don’t understand soul bonds to this day, but my mother told me that when my father, her mate, would travel and when they were apart, it was one of the worst things for her!!”

Cold fear shivered through Cloud as he experienced the exact dolorific sensations as Aerith explained. Strangely, as she spoke on, he felt whatever she was describing, and quite accurately down to the last note. Perhaps it was all just a stupid coincidence. After all, he knew he hadn’t been himself lately, but that had nothing to do with Sephiroth! It would be so easy to get caught in this trap, and he refused to believe in these myths.

Grunting, he asked brokenly, “Umm, was your mother ever in a lot of pain?”

Aerith was so earnest, her expression almost tortured, for all that the suave, gentle, empathetic young woman was visibly struggling to maintain her cool. Cloud knew he’d trespassed on territories she still was quite sensitive about, but as regretful as he was for hurting or disturbing her in any way, he still had to know…there _had_ to be an explanation for why he was feeling so sick, so queasy, so lost, and so empty since they’d entered the pub.

Glancing down almost forlornly, Aerith took her time, thinking and perhaps digging deeper than ever through the sad memories. Wistfully, she smiled a weak, doloriferous version of her normally enthused and lovely smiles. “She was quite sad. Most days, it was tough for her to even get out of bed…she said it felt like she had a hole in her soul and heart…”

If only there had been more time to investigate that. Though he wanted to, the moment had been snatched right out of his hands. Danger and tension were mounting high in the air. He’d sensed it before, but now, it wasn’t easy to ignore and to remain oblivious. The problems weren’t ones to be swept under the carpet, and this was no longer a case of ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

Tifa was charging at them heatedly, but Cloud knew she wasn’t angry with them. She was glaring past them out the doors of the pub, quite aggressively, too. All that had been confirmed and solidified for Cloud’s worries and doubts became tangible when Tifa draped a hand on his shoulder, and Aerith’s.

Looking surprised to see her friend so up close and triggered by something, Aerith whispered in shock, “Tifa? What’s going on?”

“Shh!” Tifa hushed them both as she scowled on past the heavy rain outside. “The reason I was in the bathroom for so long was because I saw SOLDIERs outside! They’re going to attack us all!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this marks the first chapter without Sephiroth appearing O.o


	14. Metrics of Mysteries

Cloud didn’t like gloating, boasting, or saying ‘I told you so’. To be right all the time, every single time, to come out on top, and to ‘win’ at every argument with his points all intact weren’t the foundations of his nature. What was the point of winning and being right? Maybe it gifted him with the gift of momentary satisfaction and release, but Cloud didn’t like living in the moment too often. Over preparedness was far greater and wiser than being caught unaware.

Tifa was now stepping up as a leader of sorts, charging up her gear and gloves even though she was wearing a purple Kimono with a floral design and large earrings that gleamed and glistened in the light. She reminded Cloud far too much of Madam M in such a getup, but Tifa had been importunate regarding wearing it…women.

Shaking himself out of that silly stupor, Cloud inched closer to his friends as he whispered covertly, “Do you know for a fact if they’re Shinra’s men?”

Tifa frowned as she continuously spent all her exactness on formulating her reply. “Not sure,” she truthfully stated. “I couldn’t see much, but we have to take care of it!”

Aerith was already up for that, but before she moved away from the brick wall, she cast a worried glance in Zack’s direction. “He…he can’t fight yet!”

Tifa nodded as she gazed at Barret and sighed, “Barret shooting will only cause people to panic…”

Knowing that their options were dwindling quickly, Cloud and Tifa nodded in confirmation of their new plan. No words needed to be said; they all somehow just knew what to do, and how it was all to be done. Their connections and bonds instilled and supported by trust in the midst of the hardships of all battles had been what enabled the three Avalanche members to rely on each other, but to also have enough faith in each of their own unique capabilities.

Aerith beamed magnificently at them before wishing them luck. She was already making the way back to Zack, but her courage passed on to Cloud and Tifa, who gazed out into the chilly, gloomy night. Standing side by side, Cloud made sure his Hardedge was ready, gingerly reaching back and feeling the coldness of the blade meeting his heated skin. It would always be there, comforting him like a good friend…a trustworthy friend…

At once, without warning, his brain seized up, and the world stopped moving. This was pain he’d never known. Was it the beat of a drum or the cry of a raptor that blasted through his skull? Or…was there no sound at all, but a throbbing, morbid sense of a gaping emptiness and vagueness within himself? He clutched at his chest and arched his back as his body lurched with frozen shock, trying desperately to find the source of the heat that was pulsing so fiercely through himself, strong and stronger as each moment passed. It was all too powerful, too strong, too wonderful, absolutely magnificent until all at once desire surged and dominated above all else. Oh, Gaia...just another minute and…

The need to see Sephiroth was no longer an ache, but a full-fledged pain that stayed with himself even when he was doing his damn best to create some much-needed space and be with his friends. It could kill him, he knew that, but he didn’t know what to do about it, couldn’t find the energy to do something even if he could think of it. He was paralyzed by the need of the horrific soul bond and his own fear. The ache in his chest was so bad, that he couldn’t muster much sympathy for his own weakness one way or another.

Tifa surveyed the dark world outside the pub, looking back and forth from left to right, eyebrows furrowed and eyes pointing and squinting in deadly daggers. “We need to go, Cloud,” she announced, taking her defensive battle-stance and pushing her way out the door without glancing back.

Trying to get a grip so he could follow, Cloud took a tiny step before forcing himself to stop midway. The pain was far too great, and it made him bend and twist horrifically. He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut tight and arching his back. Through the crowded pub and the annoying noises bouncing off the walls and ceiling, not a single person noticed what was going on. Cloud couldn’t believe his damn luck, but he knew that it would get worse. This was why he hated being right, because in the next moment, it was as if the sensory input had never weakened in the first place. All at once, the whole world was nothing but a mass of heat, tension, blood and the driving force of need. It was too much to handle…too much. Who would save him from this?! How could they save him?! They were the ones who needed saving!!

Only then, among the painfully grainy static churning and pooling in his eardrums came a voice, breathy and harsh, but it was a voice he recognized immediately.

_‘Whenever you’ve finished with your social activities, it’d be in your best interest to take extra care around the two warriors tracking you with the intention of doing you harm.’_

His pulse picked up a beat, and a sliver of hope edged into his heart.

Sephiroth’s voice rocketed through fragments of his skull, blasting away like a shotgun in the dark night. Rather than feeling frightened or weakened by it, however, Cloud felt his burdens and woes dissipating faster than ice as soon as the first rays of potent sunshine were cast upon them. Like spring slowly blossoming and returning to a wintery land, the pain in his heart started to ease, and the onrush of relief made his knees weak.

Nearly weeping out in joy, Cloud mentally cried, _‘Sephiroth! I can hear you! Oh gods…’_

Now, he could relax, and he did. It was a great invitation, akin to stepping into a warm bath. The heat this time gradually decreased, settling on a peaceful and comforting temperature, soothing the ache and tension out of his bones, muscles, joints, and veins.

This was peace, this was calm, this was tranquility…it’d been what he needed all this time…

As affected by this as Cloud was, Sephiroth seemed more grounded. Sternly, he growled, _‘You’re under attack! Don’t just stand there! Do something!’_

Enfolded again in the embrace of Sephiroth’s words and soft voice, Cloud closed his weary eyes and let his imagination work wonders. Strange…Sephiroth may not have been near, but Cloud somehow recognized his scent…it was here, and it sluiced comfortingly over him. Enjoying it so much, Cloud moaned softly, and then took to gazing around, eager and a tad desperate to locate Sephiroth. He hungered for a mere glance at the One Winged Angel…Cloud never realized that he wasn’t abstemious as he should’ve been.

Panting as though his lungs were being crushed, Cloud wheezed mentally through his anguish and breathlessness, _‘Who do you th-think is attacking us? I sensed them watching me before, but I th-thought I was losing it!’_

Sephiroth snapped, _‘Do I really look like I know?! Your judgement must be severely impaired.’_

Tongue heavy in his mouth, lips cracked and dry, and throat parched, Cloud was a mess. Coughing a few times to clear his throat didn’t help. Swallowing thereafter made it seem like he was gulping down nails, too. When had he turned into such a weak, broken piece of his former self? Unaware of the transformation’s true beginning and impact, Cloud shivered and rocked back and forth, no doubt looking quite drunk. His eyes were relentlessly hunting through the pub, and he held a faint sliver of hope that perhaps, even in his heady, dizzy state, he could be able to catch a glimpse of Sephiroth.

Fat chance, however.

As if noticing what he was doing without being physically present in the pub, Sephiroth icily orated, _‘Save your energy; I’m not fully here, but I’m able to communicate through the bond.’_

 _‘No shit.’_ Cloud indulged in his petty, snarky mood for a moment before remembering that he’d left Tifa out there in the dark, in the cold rain, and she needed him…she was expecting him to be there, fighting with her, backing her up, taking care of her…taking care of them all…

But how could he take care of anyone when he was in such a sorry, weakened state? It was utterly humiliating and risible to even entertain that idea, let alone saddle up and head out. He was totally useless and no good to anyone right now.

_‘Sephiroth…help…help me…’_

On any other day, begging with his mortal enemy would be quite a laugh. For some unknown reason, however, begging and pleading was too natural, now. Something was tying and beckoning him to call out to Sephiroth, to lean on him, to depend on him. Cloud supposed his reasons were that ever since the peculiar One Winged Angel had saved their lives before, maybe he could be trusted…hopefully…

 _‘When I speak to you, it eases the pain?’_ Sephiroth’s voice eerily but pleasantly moved slowly down his neck and gently rested at Cloud’s back. ‘ _How bad were you feeling? I started to detect your distress these past few days, but before that, I didn’t sense anything.’_

 _‘Talking to you does help. I didn’t think that was part of bond.’_ Cloud trembled, even as the memory of the pain made him feel weak. _‘It was pretty bad before you got here, today, but it’s better, now.’_

The deep, masculine hum of Sephiroth’s voice reverberated through him, and Cloud smiled a goofy, lopsided smile as he limped closer to the door.

_‘Don’t stall for time here; they will grow in numbers, soon.’_

Nodding haphazardly, Cloud wobbled his way out. The icy cold temperature of the night rain slapped him in the face, but rather than turn away from it in a disgruntled way, Cloud felt chilly oblectation take its hold over himself. This wasn’t so bad…save for the fact that Tifa was definitely on the prowl for something. The young woman hissed out to Cloud, waving a hand energetically at him so he could rush to her side and join her.

While Cloud inched his way towards her, Sephiroth continued theorizing and musing between them. _‘It seems we can’t leave each other for too long,_ ’ he pointed out logically based on what had also slowly been occurring to Cloud. _‘Clearly this is some aspect of the bond that wasn’t documented.’_

Teeth clattering as he rolled his eyes, Cloud hissed impatiently, _‘Can’t believe there’s a book about this crap lying about somewhere.’_

 _‘That’s where a lot of knowledge comes from…’_ Sephiroth’s voice trailed off for a moment, and when Cloud stood by Tifa, Sephiroth murmured, _‘You need to focus on listening carefully so you’ll hear them; I’m making too much noise.’_

He didn’t wish for Sephiroth to stop talking; it made him feel so damn good, and it was rewarding after the bouts of hot, searing pain. Trepidation loomed between Cloud and Tifa, but the dark-haired female didn’t reveal it much. She simply turned around in a small circle, a distasteful scowl on her youthful face the entire time.

The night air was still, but that didn’t prevent Cloud from feeling a new kind of sickness swelling and surging within his gut. The old feeling of being watched had returned to him, and this time, it was steadily moving closer like a large beast stalking its prey.

_‘Sephiroth…I don’t—’_

Sephiroth’s voice stilled by his ear, drawing him closer. _‘Silly boy. If you were in pain, you should have contacted me, but now’s not the time for this.’_

Cloud didn’t care. _‘I wasn’t sure I should reach out, and then, I couldn’t seem to do anything.’_

The wind howled, and as it did in its haunting way, both Tifa’s and Cloud’s eyes widened. Through this wailing and howling, a small whistling sound was clearly heard. Exchanging knowing looks, after waiting for three seconds, Cloud and Tifa leapt apart. Abruptly, straight out of thin air, someone slammed a bomb down into the wet ground, covering the area with thick, rose scented smoke. Though the smoke hadn’t been deadly, it’d served well as a distraction. Loud shots were fired due to the diversion, startling the two young Avalanche members. Cloud and Tifa ducked and crouched down, doing well to avoid it. Cloud was losing his patience, but not blindly attacking. Then the smoke started to change. Peeking and squinting through it, they saw a wonderful land filled with bubbles appear before themselves. Moving became hard because of the bubbles, but they’d suspected as much with the trickery and magic.

Tifa made the mistake of trying to weave her way through the bubbles. They picked her up for a moment, spinning her around like a rag doll. Cloud was jerked up as well, then was knocked off his feet. Though shaken, once he got to his feet, Cloud espied an outline of a soldier. Without hesitating, he swiped at the figure with his sword, but seemed to miss each and every blow. The fog lifted as a bullet ripped through, nearly grazing Tifa’s arm. She shrieked in panic, dodging it and then deflecting with a spell of her own. The spell was broken a moment later, however, and a blinding light blasted through, hurtling at them both. Once it soundly knocked into them, both Cloud and Tifa fell and landed on their stomachs.

Grinding his teeth irritably, Cloud spat, “I’m getting _really_ tired of them doing this shit.”

“You and me both!” Tifa screamed, and then kicked off her feet with renewed energy.

Someone was firing off a magic gun that shot out golden spears at a rapid pace. Both attacks knocked Tifa down and weakened her in no time. Whatever this was, it was a new enemy, and not one Cloud was going to take lightly. Enraged due to what had happened to Tifa, he swiftly and expertly tossed her a few potions and an antidote. There was no way to tell whether the spears were laced with poison, but he wasn’t going to take his chances.

As Tifa healed herself up quickly, a thin soldier wielding a large shuriken cut through the darkness and stood daringly before them. Dressed in Shinra infantrymen gear, beneath the helmet, Cloud and Tifa weren’t able to see much.

Not wanting to lose time gawking, Cloud unleashed a Thundara attack to stun the guard, and then swiped two deadly charged attacks. Using the energy attack with his sword rather well, he dealt significant damage to the soldier. They cried out and suddenly turned into a puff of golden dust.

Cloud only stood and gaped. “What the?!”

Wincing in the aftermath of the pain, Tifa wrapped her arms about Cloud as she whispered, “I can’t see or hear them! I think we scared them off!”

Sephiroth coldly spat, _‘Don’t celebrate so quickly...’_ When Cloud gazed around, he felt relieved when he saw the One Winged Angel appear on a rooftop nearby. Their eyes met, and Sephiroth pointed straight before Cloud.

_‘SHIT!’_

Standing on a beam with silver rapiers in their hands were two more soldiers. They lanced through with their attacks, while another soldier jumped down skillfully and attacked them without remorse. Moving faster, Cloud parried each and every single time with his sword. As he fought, a few sharp shuriken sailed through at him. They cut through his clothing but didn’t do much more in the way of damage. Cloud knew that they were meant to distract and throw him off. As he was lost in his own battle, another two soldiers surrounded Tifa. They shot at her, but she timed her dodges well, avoiding all gun fire.

When Cloud slowly started becoming overwhelmed by guards on all sides, Sephiroth stepped in to help. He stretched out a gloved hand and quickly, massive energy waves shot at all the vicious soldiers, blasting them off their feet and high into the air. Another two stepped in front of Tifa, but before they could attack her, Sephiroth rounded on them. They took most of the blast, and Tifa remained unharmed. She was highly confused as to who her savior was, but there was no time to ask questions.

Weapons clashed and swung about, and Sephiroth answered in his own way by channeling deadly attacks in all directions. It frightened the soldiers, and they shot randomly since they weren’t able to see him. In their confusion, Cloud used his Omnistrike well, sending them all flying off their feet. He never noticed that he left one of them still darting about in the wreckage and chaos until it was too late. It was the same shuriken wielding soldier. Leaping at Cloud, the shadowy figure tried to tackle the blonde youth in the hopes of mauling him. As always, Cloud came prepared, but Tifa soon got between them as well, standing firmly next to her partner. The guard didn’t seem to care; an attack was already unleashed. All three opponents swung and parried with great skill. Poetry in motion. Harmoniously, Tifa delivered swift punches to the figure’s sides, and each time she did, electricity zapped through the ribs of the figure. Though wearing armor, it soon was cracking and breaking through.

Their victory was in clear sight at last. Giving in to his confidence as Tifa delivered a few brutal uppercuts and sent their last attacker up in the air, Cloud used a good combination of Triple Slash and Omnislash as a follow up to send the mysterious attacker flying across the open area. The impact of the figure crashing into a small car was enough to stop them at once.

Having them right where they wanted, Cloud and Tifa ran ahead and pounced on them. As Tifa held the mysterious aggressor down, Cloud quickly yanked off the infantryman helmet. Immediately, as they unveiled their attacker, they both gasped in shock.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

It was a woman! A woman with short black hair and soft, cream-colored skin, but she’d dressed herself in the Shinra gear. Appearances could’ve been deceiving, but Tifa and Cloud were beyond puzzled as they studied her form and unconscious visage. The young woman wasn’t any older in age than Cloud and Tifa, and in her right hand, she held onto a sharp, gleaming, large 4-Point Shuriken. It looked like it could deal a heck of a lot of damage, and it wasn’t a weapon Cloud had normally seen about.

Who was this woman?! Why had she attacked them!?

Tifa looked terrified as she chewed her lower lip and cradled the back of the woman’s skull. Feeling around, she finally let out a sigh of relief. “She’s not bleeding!”

This was indeed good news, because they had a lot of questions that needed answering. Unfortunately, due to the commotion and noises they’d all made, half the pub had dashed out in horror and shock. A few people hung around to see what’d happened, but they were soon pushed away by Zack, Aerith, and Barret.

Peering ahead and squinting past the lights streaming out the windows of the bar as the rain died down to a faint, gentle drizzle, Zack choked on his words. “H-hey! What’re you guys doing?!”

“Someone got into some action and they didn’t invite us, from the looks of it,” Barret snorted as he summarized and guessed based on the damage and knocked out soldiers. Tilting his head at Cloud and Tifa, he cried out, “Shinra’s men?!”

Before they could say a word, the remedy for their burning questions came in the form of a tall soldier standing to his feet. He grunted and groaned in pain, rising from the ground and soggy earth like a zombie lunging out of its grave. He twitched, fingers moving to shrug off his helmet, and when it came off completely, his long, dark brown hair which was tied back in a tight ponytail flowed freely down past his strong shoulders.

Barret glared at him as he pointed his gun arm high in the air. “Don’t make any dumb moves, else you want a head full of holes in it.”

The threat had been well received, but as Cloud watched closely, he discovered that the soldier wasn’t listening out of fear; he was listening because he wasn’t armed to begin with…insulse at its finest? Or was this suicide?

Holding both his hands up, the man rasped in a husky, pained tone, “Don’t fire, please. We’re only here to ask a few questions and deliver a message.”

Of course, this hadn’t been at all what anyone was expecting.

“Huh?!” Barret’s jaw dropped, and he took all but a few quick steps as he sealed the distance between his body and the swaying soldier’s. Once he was close enough, he reached out and grabbed the man by his shoulder. With his potent strength, the churlish Avalanche member righted the soldier onto his feet.

For Barret, it was clearly time to abjure a more careful approach, even though Aerith hissed and warned him to be cautious in his methods of handling the mysterious man. Holding the soldier steadily, Barret roared in his face mightily, “Who the hell are you?!”

Cringing and shrinking away from the screaming unleashed unto himself, the soldier argued weakly, “Please, we’re not here to harm you!”

Tifa clearly disagreed. Kicking up dirt, she spat ferociously, “Liar! You attacked us!”

“Because your side attacked first!” he roared back defensively. Nodding over at his comrade, the young woman with dark hair who was slowly stirring, he stated, “Our war isn’t with you.”

As the young woman rose, she shook her head, and opened her eyes. They were a dark brown color, and she sneered at Tifa and Cloud derisively. Velocious in her movements, when she’d gained some energy back, she lunged at Barret, kicking up high at his arm until he relinquished his hold on the male soldier.

Dropping the man to his feet, Barret repeated urgently, “The hell are you people?!”

Glancing at the woman, the male soldier answered, “I’m Zor, and that’s Yuffie Kisaragi.”

The woman named Yuffie straightened herself as she touched at her armor and outfit. “Ripped,” she sighed her first word out, her voice pleasant to listen to, but definitely serious. Tugging at the holes due to the scrapes and slices from Cloud’s sword, she then nodded up at him. “You’re a good fighter. What’s your name?”

Swallowing, Cloud thickly answered, “Cloud Strife.”

Hissing vehemently, Tifa quickly opposed, “Let’s not be so quick to hand out introductions!” Taking careful steps towards Yuffie, she curtly asked, “You’re not Shinra, are you?” 

Shaking her head ‘no’, Yuffie giggled as she skipped away and slowly tore off her Shinra infantryman gear. “Definitely not,” she began as she yanked out a white and black headband and wrapped it about her head. Next, in front of everyone, she shrugged off the upper portion of her uniform, revealing a green, sleeveless turtleneck jumper that revealed her toned stomach.

In gratuity evident from shock coursing through each Avalanche member, Yuffie continued to shake off her disguise. “This was the only way we could get by without being noticed,” she elucidated as a pair of tan shorts with no belt and an unbuttoned and unzipped fly could be seen on her lower body.

Beaming at them, she cooed, “We’re Wutai, but I’m known as the Mystery Ninja and Treasure Princess!” Over her left arm, she now wore a protective gauntlet that originated from a single pauldron over her shoulder, presumably meant to also act as a shield. The gauntlet was held in place via a strap tied across her chest and around her back. Ninja-mail mesh covered part of her right arm and left leg, and an additional piece of armor covered the rest of the thigh.

Barret snorted, “Treasure Princess? Sounds campy as hell.”

Humming, Yuffie stated, “Well, I’m a Materia hunter!” Winking at Tifa, she donned a smaller wrist-covering gauntlet on her right arm, orange fingerless gloves, and orange sneakers with white leg warmers once she kicked off the Shinra infantryman boots.

Bowing once she was fully dressed, Yuffie crowed boisterously, “Aaaaall done! Man! It feels amazing being myself again!!”

Tifa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I can totally see that you’re not working for Shinra,” she commented a bit rudely, shaking her head dully at Yuffie. “But what are you guys doing here?” Motioning at the rest of the Wutai warriors as they stood and fell in line behind Zor, the raven-haired woman spouted, “Last time I remembered, Wutai Area is located on the Western island! This isn’t even close!”

Nodding as he brushed himself off and pushed his long ponytail over his shoulder, Zor calmly orated, “We came a long way, yes, and we’ve been through so much.” His face was scarred badly, but the scars weren’t from the skirmish they’d all gone through that same night. These ran deeper, and as Cloud studied each of them, he found that he couldn’t place an age on Zor. The warrior could’ve been closer to his age, or vastly older due to the way he spoke and carried himself about.

Pacing close to his men, he checked their gear and weapons. Gruffly, he stated pointedly, “Judging by the damage we suffered, here, I can’t exactly say this was all worth it.”

Yuffie seemed to disagree as she playfully elbowed the taller warrior. Jabbing at him with a thumb, she giggled lightly, “What else were you going to do, then? Laze about growing fatter?!”

Evidently tolerating this playful banter more than his limits dictated, Zack stepped around Barret and glared judgmentally as he studied Zor and Yuffie. Not at all impressed with what he’d found, he grunted coldly, “So what did you want to ask us, then?” Aerith appeared behind him, concern flooding her features as she stood close to her lover.

Tilting his head at the Wutai warriors, Zack clarified, “You know, since you all came a long way, we wouldn’t want to make it burdensome.”

Zor and Yuffie exchanged brief glances before Yuffie volunteered to speak. “Our leader, Godo Kisaragi sent us here to find out whether what Rufus Shinra has been saying about Avalanche is true or not.”

Scratching the back of his head, Zack awkwardly mumbled, “Godo Kisaragi? Is that your husband?”

The vibrant young woman’s face turned beet red while the rest of the Wutai warriors threw their heads back and guffawed heartily at Yuffie’s expense. They only stopped when she raised her neck, glared at them, and Zor growled in a warning.

Cracking her knuckles and neck as she slowly turned to scowl ferociously at Zack for his odd question, Yuffie screamed, “Godo Kisaragi is my father, you half-wit!”

Zack paled and apologized, while Zor gently calmed Yuffie down.

“Leviathan is with us, Yuffie,” he told her softly as he pet her on the shoulder in a move of comfort. “Offer thanks later but remember your father’s words; we’re not here to fight with them! They could prove useful.”

Useful?! That sounded a lot like being compared to cattle! Offended, all members of Avalanche glared forth at Zor and Yuffie.

Stomping her foot down, Tifa screeched, “Hey! We’re not doing anything unless you tell us what’s going on!”

“No need for them to say anything,” Barret interrupted, nodding ahead at the sky. “Seems it’s all right there.”

As they all glanced ahead, Cloud searched around for Sephiroth, but it once again appeared that the One Winged Angel had taken it upon himself to disappear somewhere. However, Sephiroth soon proved that he wasn’t ignorant and oblivious as to what was going on.

 _‘Wutai,’_ he purred rapturously and delightfully. _‘How unusual.’_

 _‘So, they’re not lying?’_ He didn’t necessarily presume they were being misleading on purpose, but it was a lot wiser to ask anyway. Perhaps Sephiroth had been cunning and clever enough to notice new details as his sharp mind and highly intuitive powers worked through this.

Without hesitating or doubting himself, Sephiroth answered soundly, _‘No. They are Wutai, and their war is with Shinra; not you. They were being sincere.’_

_‘But what do they want from us?’_

Though he didn’t see Sephiroth, he could’ve sworn he heard him smiling through his next words.

_‘Maybe if you shut up, you’ll give us both the chance to learn.’_

Pointing up at a broadcast display of the most recent news, Zack muttered, “Seems like we can’t enjoy anything, can we?”

The group glanced up in the direction he was pointing, and immediately, everyone glared. Rufus Shinra and Tseng were being interviewed, and though the volume of the broadcast was set low, due to the prominent men appearing, every Wutai warrior in the area grew quiet to catch an earful.

“Shinra continuously purports that Avalanche is working with Wutai, and these were once said to be rumors, but new evidence states that it’s a reality!” the voice of an off-screen reporter bellowed out nervously and frantically.

Rufus stood smirking as he clapped his hands together, a sadistic, twisted gleam in his eyes. As those cold, cobalt hues shifted from each Avalanche member, as though somehow knowing they were watching, Rufus aimed his most perverse sneer in Cloud’s direction. Gloating was his job, his hobby, and his favorite pastime, it seemed. Tilting his head down right at Cloud, his teeth shone brightly, and his bangs fell around his eyes, giving him the appearance of someone much too comfortable in his own agendas.

Nodding, Rufus sighed, “Yes, the populace fearing a new war is about to start is logical, but our people need to have faith in us. Trust Shinra. We _will_ defeat the Avalanche forces, but in good time.”

Standing close to him, Tseng whispered sheepishly into his ear, and then Rufus huffed as he waved him off. He was seated behind the President’s desk, looking bored and tired, as though he had a million better things to do with his time than to have this conversation to begin with.

Mildly inconvenienced, Rufus announced boldly and cruelly, “If we eliminate Wutai warriors and their leaders, we will in part eliminate this parasite known as Avalanche.”

When the view zoomed in on him closely, he seemed so deranged in his own quest for vengeance through obfuscation and prevarication.

Lying right through his teeth, he orated brazenly, “Avalanche must be taken down with their comrades. They are _both_ responsible for the chaos and destruction the Mako reactors suffered! They want our economy, our beloved city, and our daily lives to be ruined! They are the enemy, and they _will_ be uprooted!”

Turning away from the large screen cast above, Aerith’s nostrils flared in deep resentment and anger. A cantankerous Zack Fair held onto her as he too sneered and seethed. Barret also looked troubled, but he didn’t buy into what Rufus was saying.

Pointing at Zor, he growled gruffly, “Talk. Now. Tell us everythin’ you know, ask whatever you want, but make it fast.” The tense rigidity of Barret’s stance was so unlike the burly man’s normally relaxed, confident posture that it took Cloud a moment to interpret the body language. He’d so rarely seen this man telegraphing defeat before, that it was astonishing in this personal setting. Even so, Barret was standing there looking as though he’d lost everything that mattered to him in the world.

This issue ran far deeper than they could all surmise, and there was no denying it anymore.

Timorously, Zor’s face contorted to a confused, pained, and broken one. Perhaps he too had lost all hope, but it appeared that an invisible thread of it was still lingering behind his torpid eyes. Clinging onto it for whatever he was worth, he pushed out softly, “You’re not going to fight with us; you’re not our enemy.”

Zack shook his head, and Aerith snapped, “No! Of course we’re not working for Shinra!”

Cloud slowly slipped away from the torvous conversation, and it was all without his own knowledge. As though the innate calling that was too relaxing had been what he’d wanted all this time, he felt his toes and fingers warm up significantly, and then a fuzzy feeling seeped through them. His heart throbbed, and his gut clenched like a hundred butterflies were caught within it.

He was floating…floating into the obliqueness he would never understand.

Meanwhile, every member of Avalanche started growing wary of the ordeal between Wutai, and they weren’t shy about voicing their own questions. Not even waiting, Aerith, Zack, and Barret all threw something out at Yuffie and Zor. The words and sentences all blurred together, but it came out muffled and slowed down to Cloud’s ears. The earth beneath his feet was quite soft…he could’ve sunk right through the soil and basked in its pleasant heat…it made him smile fondly.

Yuffie suddenly barked out in an obstreperous manner, “We can’t talk here! Let’s get the heck out of the cold and rain!” As the impavid young woman whistled and signaled at the rest of the Wutai warriors to follow her, Barret shouted at her back thickly.

“Hey!” his voice was fresh and crisp in the night air steadily cooling down in temperature. His breath fogged out before himself, and he paused when Yuffie glanced at him in sheer silence. Clearing his throat, Barret inquired, “How in the hell do we know that you won’t ambush us later on the moment you get a chance?”

As Yuffie and Zor studied the Avalanche members, everything had been suspended greatly in the air. All uncertainty, doubts, concerns, conflicting interests, as well as the overall need for self-preservation to fight on was a key commonality they all shared. Though the tension and apprehension weighed heavily on each of their shoulders and nearly smothered them all, Yuffie showed more promise and genuine empathy as she beamed and fluttered her eyelashes at Barret rather innocently.

Hoisting her sharp, deadly weapon over her right shoulder, she scoffed, but not in a clipped or rude way. If anything, she seemed slightly miffed by Barret’s rough delivery of his questions and comments, but she bore them well. Hips and legs moving almost like a dancer’s, she headed past Zor and the other Wutai warriors, no doubt leading the way out of the drizzle and night.

Calling out to Barret without even addressing him through eye contact, she announced with energy and pride, “Because you need us as much as we need you!”

Zor orated in addition, “We’re all you got!”

Hanging his head in utter defeat, Barret murmured, “And we’re all _you_ got…” Waving his hand at the rest of his friends, he grunted in sadness, “Shit, guess it can’t be helped. Come on, folks.”

Silently, they all obeyed, falling in line after Barret. They weren’t too thrilled or enthused about the supposed ‘plan’. Tifa and Aerith whispered back and forth about it, while Zack and Barret kept a close eye on the Wutai warriors.

Only Cloud fell behind as he counted the faint glows and beams of the night stars twinkling down at himself. He was reminded of his younger years following a heavy rainstorm and thunderstorm, when he was allowed to venture out, the sky seemed so crystal clear. His mother had once said that the rain even washed away the sadness of nature, renewing things to make them better again.

“Oy! Merc!” He was interrupted by Barret’s thunderous roar. “Keep up!!”

Tilting his head away from the sky, Cloud’s eyes met the inquisitive ones of Yuffie’s. She smiled a friendly smile at him up ahead a few feet, but it didn’t leave him feeling amicable or affable.

 _‘_ _Do we really have to follow her, Sephiroth?’_ Cloud soon mentally cried out, churning the notion over and over to himself while Sephiroth took his time in providing an answer.

Dully, almost, the older male hissed acerbically, _‘You don’t have anything else planned, do you? Follow her.’_

Shaking his head even though Sephiroth wasn’t able to see it, Cloud thought, _‘Nah, guess not, but I need to talk to you.’_ God, he hated the needy sound in his voice, but the thought of Sephiroth leaving without him was so much worse.

Bluntly, Sephiroth stridently threw back, all harshness present, _‘You ARE talking to me. Have you somehow hit your head? You’re a lot more clueless than usual.’_

 _‘I’m not clueless!’_ Cloud contemptuously argued. _‘I just need to talk to you in private!’_ In truth, that was partially a falsehood. Cloud did want to reserve special time to speak with Sephiroth, but he also wanted to know how Sephiroth was fairing in terms of his reach, his control, and their bond.

…What _did_ Sephiroth get up to when he wasn’t near, anyway? Cloud was genuinely curious, but not curious enough to seek out the answer by asking up front. He still felt rather distant from the One Winged Angel, and until the bond sealed the gap between them, Cloud promised himself to enjoy his freedom and autonomy, but also to try and work up the guts to divulge what he’d suffered through with Tifa, especially. She’d know what to do!

At least…he hoped and prayed…Tifa was his last hope, but rather than obsessively worry so much about it that he gave away his plans to Sephiroth, Cloud chose to redirect his woes on playing a bit of a ruse to distract his silent observer for as long as he could. It was the oldest trick in the book as far as buying time was concerned.

In an almost maudlin fashion, he sighed, _‘Are you going to take me back with you?’_

Voice almost echoing, Sephiroth replied swiftly, _‘Now’s not the time, if you’re looking to chat.’_

_‘I am. Let’s decide after this Yuffie girl gives me some room to breathe; I kind of feel weird again, but I think I’m tired.’_

Truthfully, that hadn’t been a fabrication or an exaggeration, either. Though Sephiroth was speaking with him, the familiar feeling of dread, icy madness, and chaotic trepidation possessed him in much the same way it had prior to Sephiroth’s voice channeling into his mind.

Though Cloud entertained his own theories as to why this was happening to him, he didn’t feel too confident when it came to Sephiroth telling him the truth about the future of the bond. He still held a belief that although Sephiroth had now helped them a few times, that didn’t mean in the slightest that he was a changed man. Sephiroth wasn’t entirely above pushing people in a certain way or conning them into one particular thought if it was for his own personal benefit and gain. Cloud’s mind was made up, and he was confident in his own decisions and prior experiences.

Poignantly, he agnized to Sephiroth, _‘This isn’t going to go away; we need to talk about it later.’_

 _‘Point taken,’_ Sephiroth pushed out. _‘Now, get moving, before you draw attention to yourself.’_

Not enjoying at all when people told him what to do, the brattier side of Cloud revealed itself as he hissed moodily, _‘Dad of the year award goes to…!’_

_‘…If only your feet were as fast as your mouth.’_

The image of the coy grin through Sephiroth’s words was undeniable, but Cloud shielded himself from it. The last thing he needed to do was to sympathize with and understand his despised enemy. He certainly didn’t need that, nor did he need the welcoming, incalescent feeling of a smile creeping over his own visage.


	15. Lethal Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was too long, I apologize, but I wanted to get out a lot of detail regarding what's going on with Cloud.

Yuffie was inaniloquent, loquacious, and a fast speaker. She put in a lot of energy into relaying all the facts and brutal history regarding the sour relationship between the Shinra government and Wutai area. The members of Avalanche all sat together in a large bunker of sorts dug underground extending beyond the tunnels and underground highways. How clever of Wutai to travel back and forth through Midgar without being detected this way.

Though feverish, exhausted, and dizzy with confusion he hadn’t felt in days, Cloud sat still as he gave all his undivided attention to Yuffie. Whenever she spoke, it was rather captivating, he found. She seemed really ‘into’ her story as she ranted and raged when regaling the more difficult and emotionally heavier parts, and then she was able to very quickly switch back to a cold, curt, and barbed demeanor. Zor also filled in the story with his own version of the events, but it all seemed to match and make sense from what Cloud imagined.

“Around 1992, the Shinra Electric Power Company sought to control the Wutai area as an ideal area for a mako reactor,” Zor stated as though lecturing a class. “Of course, Wutai defended and fought well for its independence, but our people soon learned the difficult way that we weren’t prepared for the tricks Shinra’s SOLDIERs had up their sleeves.” Zor’s face and eyes darkened as he regaled specifically what horrors and acts of atrocious injustice his people had to suffer through at the hands of Shinra’s army.

“There were too many of them, in the end,” Yuffie summarized, sensing her partner’s decrepit energy, impatience, and discomfort. Though they both didn’t wish to relive the memories, they pressed on amid the ombré ambiance and mood stretching out within the bunker.

Somberly, Zor continued as best as he could. “Sadly, we could not stand against the might of SOLDIER and after so much hardship and so many losses, we were forced into submission.”

Barret gasped, “But aren’t y’all free, now?” When everyone in the bunker stared oddly at him, he expounded quickly, “Well, shit, I mean, last time I checked, wasn’t Wutai Area a tourist resort?”

Silence was his answer, to which he further goaded his listeners. “You know! A place for fun and games and shit!”

Rolling her dark eyes, Yuffie skated around that as she explained carefully, “The Wutai War ended with the capture of Fort Tamblin by Shinra forces. Plenty of our Wutai forces continued to rebel and fight back, no matter what.” Boldly tossing Cloud a cold look, she scoffed, “We’re a very proud nation of people. We’re willing to join other fighter groups as many times as we need so we can finally win against Shinra.”

As Cloud shivered due to the scrutinizing, heavy bouts of examination Yuffie had placed him under, Tifa softly began, “So, you’re here to recruit us as well, right?” Thinking that had to be it, she paused, frowned, and then laughed as she waved it off. “I’ve seen some of your warriors. Actually, I saw a lot of them tonight! Can’t you guys hold your own?”

Aerith shook her head, whispering under her breath hotly, “You’re jumping ahead, Tifa! They really do seem to need our help.”

Appearing to be slightly taken aback and disgusted by Aerith’s serene words, Yuffie grimly pointed out factually, “I guess so. Pride has served us well, but we can’t continue to delude ourselves into thinking we’re going to win when we’re losing more men by each passing day.”

Zack massaged Aerith’s hands in his own, comforting her as she began to put up a fuss, to which an ascetic Yuffie added, “How much more should we take?!” Directing and channeling the question at every person in the bunker, she spat mordantly, “I’m tired of being thwarted by SOLDIER and Turk operatives! It is enough!”

Cloud began fading in and out. Things were becoming deleterious and calamitous, but he somehow wasn’t able to genuinely _care._ His ears registered bits and pieces of information about Wutai. It came out as distorted portions and muddled segments, resounding in Cloud’s ears until they sounded chopped and nonsensical. The topics changed and flew like the wind. He learned something, and then it was all taken away as he remembered nothing. The final piece Cloud somewhat heard was something regarding Wutai struggling with Shinra until their suppression around 0001.

He’d slipped. Where time stood still in his little world, it hadn’t for Yuffie. The dour young woman disapprovingly glared at Cloud, shouting at him and snapping her fingers before his nose. She was attempting to get his attention in a crude way, and she only ceased doing that when Tifa screamed for her to stop and refer to Cloud by his first name since Yuffie already knew it. She was an obstinate thing, however, and she finally snorted before standing directly in front of Cloud.

Slowly, Cloud peeked up at her, wincing when he saw how dead-serious and severe her glares were. They were enough to practically ignite his consciousness since he knew she was standing there for a good reason…she was expecting him to talk…

“Hey, Cloud,” she began in a deadly whisper like the warning susurrus of a powerful waterfall. “I want to know what you think of our plan.” Gesturing openly at Barret, Yuffie elucidated coherently, “Your leader suggested that we should work together and make some major changes here, Cloud. What do you think of that?”

Admittedly, Cloud had incontestably failed to pay attention to the lecture. All his friends, as well as Yuffie and Zor were quite disappointed with this, but also majorly with Cloud’s lack of input. Honestly, he couldn’t be angry with them and find fault in this. Cloud knew he was changing his behavior, and quite rapidly. Only yesterday, Cloud had been one of the most active, eloquent participants in the group, ready and eager to dedicate all his powers. Today, he was a tenuous shell of his former self. It was a night and day shift; today, he barely knew what was going on, nor was he able to become invested in the conversation. He just couldn’t care and identify with this discussion, no matter how hard he tried.

Timorously, Cloud looked up, ensuring he paid Yuffie no mind. It was almost as though he was afraid to make eye contact with the so-called ‘Materia Huntress’.

Irritation reflected on her face, and Yuffie roughly ground out between clenched teeth and a tight jaw, “I’m usually don’t enjoy when I’m ignored.” Clearing her throat in a business-like manner, she seethed and spat, “Are you challenging me, then? Do you question my authority?”

Not wanting to allow this to wander into dangerous territory, Cloud forced himself to shake his head numbly. The floor started to shift underneath himself, and his breath came fast and shallow. He tried to focus on Yuffie. While it had worked last time, the longer she stood glowering at him in total silence, the faster it became impossible for Cloud to properly see her. Something bizarre was happening to obscure his damn vision. Nothing was physical ailing him, however, and he knew it. Nothing was caught in his eyeballs or trapped within his eyelashes that may have contributed to his vision growing faint and blurry, but it most certainly was.

With an inelegant snort, Zack facetiously guffawed, “I think the alcohol got to him, so you’ll have to forgive him, lady.”

Not taking too kindly to being referred to as ‘lady’, Yuffie bitterly seized a shuriken in her hand, raised it above her head in the air, and falsely pantomimed unleashing it straight for Zack. The raven-haired ex-SOLDIER ducked, and Yuffie pointed at him while laughing heartily.

Ignoring them both, Aerith warily studied Cloud, and Barret chose to ‘fill in’ the blanks. “Listen, Cloud,” Barret pushed on without sounding overbearing and orgulous. “These folks have put up a good offer, and as Avalanche’s leader, I’m strongly considerin’ takin’ them up on this offer for the safety of our people and loved ones.”

Nodding, Tifa expounded succinctly, “Yuffie said we should take everyone we can to Wutai Village so we can set up our headquarters in a Wutai Village Pagoda.”

Cloud looked up to acknowledge them but didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t get a single word out of his damn mouth. He’d heard their words clearly, and his brain pieced together the plan. Regardless, he felt paralyzed, useless and totally scared. Nothing was left to be said; someone or something had wiped everything, leaving him to work with a blank slate. Knowing he had a splitting headache, he unfortunately didn’t know precisely _where_ the potent pain was coming from. He was tired, but he wasn’t hungry, anyway, and now that he was thinking about food, he was getting a bit nauseated.

The total silence on his part was seen as blatant insouciance. Zor was offended easily by it, and he gripped Cloud’s shoulders as he pushed him up on his feet. “Snap out of it, Cloud,” he ordered authoritatively, eyes spinning and swarming from Cloud’s head to his toes. “If you’re going to be sick, at least try not to do it in here.”

Cloud did his best not to react. He wasn’t going to gain anything by shouting this early into the game. Putting his own most obnoxious smile on, he replied as he faced Zor, “I’m j-just tired.”

“Oh?” The other man scoffed and then demanded, “What’s there to be tired for? Hmm? Aren’t you a SOLDIER from the looks of it?” Sneering coldly, his mind was already made up, and judgments were already supposedly set in stone. Whatever Zor thought of him, Cloud didn’t wish to address and take head-on now. All his lungs told him was that he needed fresh air…badly.

Pacing away from Zor, he clumsily swayed to the right, his hips knocking into a stack of old scrolls and a vase. They all crashed to the floor, and as the last one rolled and teetered dangerously close to the ledge of the small nightstand next to a bunk bed, Cloud tried to catch it in midair before it fell to the floor and shattered. His fingers touched it, but it slipped anyway. Before Cloud was able to see it burst into many pieces, however, Yuffie swiftly bent, and she held it in the palm of her right hand.

Standing slowly, she placed it back where it belonged. “Careful, Cloud,” she purred, though in a warning tone rather than one of comfort and placation. 

He hated that everyone was trying to appease him. The mollification wasn’t welcome, as it made him seemed too weak. He was taking a chance, laying his own vulnerability out in the open like that. Holding himself together, Cloud tried so hard to appear perfect in the eyes of his friends.

Hadn’t that always been the way things were? Strong until the end that they would rarely admit to so much as an ache or scrape? What had changed, and why had it changed to begin with? Weren’t they all so content and pleased with things as they were? What more did they want from him? Speaking so openly about his fears would no doubt be what made Cloud feel as if he were baring his deepest secrets. There was no way to work around that, and Cloud decided that unless he kept his mouth sealed shut, then he would’ve been running the gruesome risk of revealing far too much in his vulnerable state.

“Cloud? We’re waitin’ on you!” Though Barret didn’t mock him, he remained vigilant and a tad suspicious as Cloud stood statuesque.

Voicing her own concerns, Tifa rose as she paced towards Cloud. “Your skin’s all red, Cloud!” she began in true fear for his own well-being. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Cloud lied instead of telling one of his most trusted and best friends the truth she deserved to hear. When she tried asking him something else, he shook his head and quietly denied, “I’m not sick or anything, don’t worry…just—”

Wutai soldiers wearing samurai-like uniforms of green and orange, the color of which no doubt dictated their ranks suddenly walked past the open doorway. They were wielding varieties of halberds with gun attachments gleaming sharply and brightly in the lights. Lost in his thoughts, when another warrior marched by, Cloud noticed the popular and notable Wutai weapons he was carrying; the over-sized shuriken.

Nervously swallowing down his trepidation, Cloud trained his eyes on the doorway, and as dreadful unease seized him, he jolted abruptly, bashing his knees into a vacant seat. It loudly crashed to the floor, turning on its side. Cloud almost went down with it, hands outstretched as he fought to keep his balance and find purchase in something solid. Thankfully, both Tifa and Yuffie rushed to his side, and they both allowed him to grab onto them. Cloud emitted a soft cry in frustration and panic, which led to conjecture rising in whispers emanating back and forth in the bunker regarding Cloud’s odd behavior.

Tilting his head at the troubled Cloud, Zack nudged him as he hissed with impertinence, “Umm, dude, you alright, there?”

Barret scoffed and snorted rudely. “Butter fingers, much?”

Blushing profusely, Cloud began stuttering in the way of an apology, but then he tripped over his own feet, as well as knocked clumsily into Barret. Stumbling forth, Cloud almost landed on the floor yet again. That was stunningly well done. There was always an undercurrent of something not being quite right, yet it was never out in the open enough to pinpoint what it was. Stymied by his slippery behavior, Tifa shook him roughly, as though that would somehow solve anything.

Tossing his large hands in the air, Barret lamented boisterously, “The hell, Cloud?! What’s up with you?!”

How could he even begin to think of a way to explain…if he even uttered a single word, it would all be over with. His mouth was already drying up, but he feigned a small laugh at his own expense. That’s what he knew and felt anyone else would’ve done in such a situation and laughing away the awkward feelings seemed a decent enough strategy.

“Uhh, Cloud?” Tifa began in confusion, “what’s so funny?”

How he’d used indignant humor as a coping mechanism in uncomfortable situations and tried redirecting from his own inner battles and frustrations may have proven successful in the past, but it wasn’t applying well in his current situation. Cloud wasn’t able to move away from massive guilt spiraling throughout himself as his friends all eyed him peculiarly as well as in ever the judgmental, orgulous manner.

Maybe it _was_ about time he left…

Leaning towards that option, Cloud bashfully avoided eye contact with his friends as he sheepishly pushed out, “I’m g-going to go, now…” Nervously fidgeting for a moment, he asked hurriedly, “There’s…I mean, it’s o-okay to go, right? We’re finished, here?”

Zor and Yuffie chuckled bitterly, while Barret superciliously answered, “Yeah, Cloud. Best to get outta here, before you break your own neck, kid.”

Zack nodded in confirmation. “You kinda _are_ being a klutz, Cloud. Sleep it off!”

Shifting past them all as he glared down at his own feet, keeping an eye on them should they crash into something or someone else, Cloud never understood how he was even able to make it to the doorway of the bunker.

The last thing he remembered was Tifa’s footsteps trailing after himself, but prior to departing completely, Cloud barked at her over his shoulder to stay away gruffly. She obeyed, but he caught the way she whimpered as she hung back in concern.

Patronizing.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

He still couldn’t get used to how dark it was when he wandered out these days. As recently as a month ago, it had still been akin to broad daylight when he’d ventured throughout Midgar late in the evenings, but now, it was black as midnight outside. And so very cold. The temperature had plummeted during the day, almost without cause and logical explanation. Cloud’s black knit sweater that had been more than enough this morning, now felt like nothing against the howling wind. The youth shivered as he watched as a few Wutai warriors chased down a battalion of dangerous Hedgehog Pies. The wearish creatures nipped at their heels, putting up an aggressive stance, but were eventually hunted down and chased quickly across the streetlamp illuminated paths and streets.

Sticking his freezing hands deep into his pockets, Cloud sprinted down the seven steps out front and headed for the pathway leading to his own room. The most direct route to the lot still looked like a war zone, and he internally cursed Rufus Shinra once more for all the chaos and damage. The damn man had not only gravely injured a lot of people, but the Shinra ruler had cleverly sent his troops to stealthily dig up pipes for at least the last few hours while everyone else lay hidden. They had no doubt left in their wake paths through and through, as the earth was still riddled with six-foot trenches behind barricades.

Oh well. They would likely soon be out of here, Cloud thought. Normally, as exhausted as he was, Cloud didn’t mind the long detour, but tonight, he was cold, quite cranky and inclined to be cross.

Cursing the freezing wind whenever it whipped about in his face cruelly, he took the next quickest route between a few damaged food stands and the old remains of S _eventh Heaven_. There were still some ways to go. As his feet carried him along, Cloud thought of the woods. They held so much solace, and he envision himself enjoying the peace and solitude they’d loyally given him for so long. The narrow, tree-lined walk was welcome within the confines of his mind. It was all he had to entertain himself with as he imagined the large, thick trees shielding and protecting him. All kinds, but namely oak were his preferred kind. They would never drop their leaves, so the starlight couldn’t even penetrate. There were two streetlamps, one at each end of the concourse, but the old oaks’ canopies pretty much blocked out all light.

Picturing and conjuring the gracefully scenic views in his mind eased some stress off his shoulders, but it did nothing in the way of softening the surprising blow he’d never anticipated or seen aimed for his head. A thick fist launched itself straight at his temple, effectively knocking Cloud to his knees. Rolling around in the dirt for a moment, he blinked, rapidly trying to locate and track his aggressor. Already, he’d unsheathed his blade, slashing purposefully and hoping to strike a mortal blow. A studded boot bashed against his ribs, and Cloud’s body landed with a sick ‘thud’ on the earth again. Ears singing, his vision went spinning, growing hazier by the minute. Not one to be beaten down by an ambush in the dark, Cloud reached for his weapon again and began attacking. To his dismay, his sword barely laid a scratch on the attacker’s human skin despite Cloud putting his full weight and strength behind each and every slice.

Was he missing, or was this creature far too fast for him? Whatever the case, he remained trapped in his own world of dull speculations, which provided his attacker with enough time to unleash more attacks. Soon, as the kicking and swiping grew in intensity, more shadowy figures assaulted him, quite brutal and ever more hateful in their attacks.

Cloud didn’t even know how many of them were surrounding himself. Six? It was possible. Each one landed a harsh, fatal blow, and Cloud wasn’t able to get loose from his muscular captors. Squirming, he was able to turn his hips a bit, just enough to take the shot on his left thigh instead of between his legs. Even so, that bony knee jabbing into soft, warm flesh hurt like hell.

Cloud had barely registered that pain when a fist that felt like a block of cement bashed into his stomach. The cry that escaped his lips at that point was pure instinct, a loud moan-shout. To fight and struggle back was futile, pointless, and otiose. He’d already lost. What a farce.

Another scream was cut off by another punch. This one was coming right at his face. Cloud tried to duck, but the captor on his right swooped in and grabbed his hair to hold his head in place. The blow missed his nose but landed straight on his left eye. The world exploded into a zillion silver stars as Cloud’s head jerked backwards. He knew he was too dazed to fight back. Between the blood and swirling stars, he could barely focus in the torvity of his plight. But maybe he could still escape…after all, he’d been through worse, and he’d never stopped.

Suddenly, the support on both sides was gone. Finding himself free, Cloud tried to run, but someone kicked him in the shin, and he toppled over sideways onto the black cement. Already, he’d been over hailed. Hope really was fleeting. He came down hard on his right elbow, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. Instead of one attacker actively beating on him, Cloud knew he now had three. Intemerate misery loomed ahead, as thick and unforgiving as the cold, harsh night air seeping into his bones.

His universe shrank down to only one element; pain. A merciless shower of punches and kicks rained down on him, not a moment taken for a pause. Tasting blood, Cloud curled himself into a tight ball to protect his head and vital organs, but it seemed useless. His back and buttocks were pummeled with blows. It would only be a matter of time before one of the bozos got lucky and cracked his spine or ruptured a kidney. His weapon weighed a ton in his hand, and his fist opened, dropping it to the ground weakly.

Cloud was having so much trouble just breathing now that he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs to call out for help. Not that anyone would even hear him in this dark walkway. Truly, he was alone, but that’s the way he’d remembered living the vast majority of his days since working for the Shinra Electric Power Company. Why should he be so foolish to expect and demand for more?

The worst of it, maybe even worse than the pain, was the way he was certain his aggressors were laughing and making fun of his efforts to protect his vital organs and parts. Horrified, Cloud realized that it was very much a gruesome possibility that he was going to die out here tonight. His friends were too far away, other poor people were too frightened to venture out, and the Wutai soldiers he’d seen were no doubt already long gone chasing other beasts. No one had time for his special case.

That made him madder than hell. Barely able to see, totally beleaguered, he opened his eyes and forced himself to focus. A strong, powerful dark-booted foot was coming straight at his face again. This time, Cloud didn’t allow himself to panic or falter. Knowing it was a life or death situation seemed to give him a level of competency he’d never had before.

Curled up tight as a minuscule, worthless bug, Cloud was braced for another agonizing kick. For some reason, it took quite a long time in coming. Through the blood roaring in his ears, the ex-SOLDIER thought he heard the unmistakable sounds of a continuing scuffle; the fleshy bangs of blows falling on vulnerable human tissue, pain-filled grunts…

For a horrible moment there, Cloud wondered if the mysterious attackers who lurked in the shadows had broken his spine and he just wasn’t capable of feeling his attackers’ blows anymore. But then…no, his leg was throbbing like it had been broken in a dozen places. In fact, there wasn’t a single inch of his body that didn’t hurt, yet he felt he was somehow moving away from all this. There just weren’t any new assaults being delivered. Yet, he could clearly hear the sounds of a vicious physical altercation continuing…from afar? From another world? From the other side of…of what?

His whole body flinched as something made contact with his shoulder. Timorously, Cloud opened his eyes, bracing himself for the worst, but it didn’t appear to be arriving. He was no longer even outside experiencing the most excruciating pain ever…had he lost time? Was he losing his mind, the days, the hours, the minutes, _and_ the seconds?

The universe may have been toying with him, but it wasn’t the anticipated punch or kick that rendered Cloud dumbfounded, speechless, and frozen as though drifting through thin, icy waters. What refreshed and revitalized him was a hand, tentatively gripping his shoulder as if afraid mere touch would hurt.

_...My sadness? What do I have to be sad about? I am the chosen one. I have been chosen to be the leader of this Planet. I have orders to take this planet back from you stupid people for the Cetra. What am I supposed to be sad about?_

That voice…it still plagued him even now, and it would always remain with him, perhaps only relenting when he reached his very last hour…

_Only death awaits you all, but do not fear. For it is through death that a new, spiritual energy is born. Soon, you will live again as a part of me…Cloud…_

No! This wasn’t right! It wasn’t supposed to be this way! The flames were engulfing him, and as he ran and locked himself in an unmarked, uncharted location, the glass shattered and exploded, and a loud scream pierced through the death-scented air. His heart thrummed in his chest, echoing maddeningly in his ears. Blood spilled into his face in waves as the thick smoke smothered his entire existence. He couldn’t even run from that…

When the flames surged higher and turned brighter, the visions crashed over him in potent waves, nearly sending him tumbling through the earth and into his own hell. Tumbling…falling…deeper…

_What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings, too?_

It’d taunted him and mocked him, stripping away at his ego, his heart, his mind, his confidence, and his might. There was no way to remain oblivious. Flashes remained. Bits and pieces, only fragments of something scattered. He found recognition in certain key things, but it was never enough of a picture that called upon a specific event he could remember from start to finish. Were they in Nibelheim?

 _Ha, ha, ha. Think, Cloud? ... ‘Cloud’?_ _Ha, ha, ha. Oh, excuse me._ _You never had a name..._

It hurt…it all hurt…but he hadn’t the tears to weep, nor could he recognize his own sorrow aligning with his feelings. Whatever he was experiencing and sensing internally wasn’t something he could attain. It was an out of body experience, but even more terrifying, his own mind never belonged to himself. He was a mere puppet dancing along on the strings, totting along to the rhythm and the beat of the invisible, unseen puppeteer…his master.

_Melding with the Planet...I will cease to exist as I am now...only to be reborn as a ‘God’ to rule over every soul. Over you, my Cloud…the only one who’s worthy enough to be at my side as my equal._

The voice spun around and around, reducing him to nothing. He was sinking deeper and deeper into it, both mesmerized and horrified by its sway over all rational thought. It was drowning him, and it would be the end of him if he allowed it to persist…but he did so, without much in the way of hesitation. His instincts for self-preservation and his respect for his sanity went without reglementation. They conflicted as he tried understanding their power enough to fight it, and he’d already lost before the battle had begun.

_A strange individual was kissing Cloud. Initially, the gender of the person was unknown, but the moment rough lips claimed his own, Cloud knew it was a man. Shocked, Cloud wasn’t able to move as the unidentified man kissed him as hard as he could, pushing his lips deep against the younger male’s, both hands holding his head steady. Where had his courage gone to? Where were his nerves? Why wasn’t he doing a damn thing to fight this off?? Aware of those questions surging around, that sense of realization was what frightened him. Instead of clawing, punching, kicking, or doing anything else in the way of revulsion and aggression, Cloud was diffident, much like a shy woman…_

_Every flame that had ever existed burned through the blood of the youth right before himself, then, erasing all thought, all possible reaction. His face went blood red, his knees buckled, and the only thing keeping him standing then was the sheer and unadulterated desire to be kissed by his beloved…for wasn’t this the intimate kiss from one beloved to another? The kiss itself was nearly chaste, save for the tongue that moved effortlessly inside his mouth. However, the pressure, the raw emotion best described as severe attraction, was portrayed in a way that no human should have been able to portray. That in itself made Cloud’s head swim, his eyes starting to roll back in his skull at the sheer oblectation assaulting him. Then, as the young ex-SOLDIER felt the strange man move his hands to squeeze his firm hips, he was amazed by new explosions of sensations consuming and devouring him piece by piece._

_There was the wonderful pain of those hasty fingers digging into his bones and muscles, caressing his athletic weight with the sort of pressure that came only from the true fetishist to admire and enjoy. There was the feeling of those tender lips on his own, pushing down heavily to create an unbreakable bond between them. There was the smell of musky rose and vanilla, from those clothes, that hair, that man, which was as strange as it was devastatingly orgasmic…_

Cloud woke up screaming. He’d dreamed of green-slitted eyes, long-flowing silver hair, purple lightning. The wailing and howling of the ghosts of his murdered friends and family had whispered recriminations in his ears.

 _Y_ _our fault. All your fault. How could you betray us?_ They screamed at him until their throats bled and then there were a million hands on his person, all over him. He flew at the first body he could find, snarling and biting and scratching. He wasn’t sure when he realized the screams he was hearing were his own, and that the pleasure he’d felt in his dreams carried into the waking world. It lingered within, and there was no denying or escaping it. Cloud looked down, eyes widening in horror. The realization was too great. It was intolerable, and he gave a broken sob as he collapsed, valiantly fighting the blush that crawled across his face.

He was tired, and his whole body felt weak and heavy. He didn’t know where to start, and Cloud faltered. At least he was awake, though. He could feel better about that, as if it’d been some sort of achievement. Well, in his mind, it was. The nightmares had lasted too long this time, and what frightened him was that he could hardly differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t.

Moved by impulse to try and escape the burning pressure making his spine feel as though it would snap in half, Cloud lunged forward, as though he would be able to stop what came next. He was powerless to say or do anything, powerless to help himself. Closer now to what perhaps may have been the brink of passing out, the emotions intensified, and Cloud suddenly heard Sephiroth’s thoughts whip around his head like the cold north wind.

_‘Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you, perhaps…but what will you do with it?’_

An insistent force pushed Cloud from the image of the prior memory, and he fell back to the floor like a rag doll. Trembling from the combination of shock and relief at having been thrown out of his own mind so violently, his hands clutched at his head as though trying to tear the memory away. His throat closed around a scream which found its way out in a hacking cough. The spasmodic tremors brutalized him as they made his bones shake, muscles tense, and joints lock up. A bilious fever ran throughout his body, next, making Cloud wish for an untimely end rather than tolerate all this a single moment longer. Although the sensations he’d experienced had been left within the images of Sephiroth and wars, their impressions lingered around him like a dense fog.

Cloud Strife was not a man who forgot the world of dreaming as soon as he opened his eyes. Suspicious, however, he was thrown off-course, blinking hard as his eyes surveyed along the dim light within the room. It was his own room…the walls were dustier than usual, as was the furniture, but he recognized his own scent upon his pillows and sheets easily. Though he’d lost time, he hadn’t forgotten what’d happened to himself prior to somehow magically appearing in his own room.

Checking his own body carefully, Cloud gingerly touched his chest, ribs, sides, back, and face for any signs of bruising and blood. No pain, no bruising, nothing broken. Of course, there weren’t any injuries sustained, which led him to believe that the ‘assault’ he’d suffered not even moments ago had been figments and inventions of his stressed mind. Whatever he’d seen flashing there before his closed eyes were just that, now; dreams and not summonses, vile punishments, or even visions of the hell surely waiting for him, in one form or another.

Would he forever be taunted and mocked by them? Over and over in the night, would he have to suffer just the same, sweaty, mass of searing pain? Teeth clenched and grinding, his muscles so tight and clenched, he found he couldn’t move to reach for his sword, for light and security. In his own mind, he would soon become stiffened corpse, embalmed by the fear and fury in his veins, and he could lie in the dark for hours that way.

Blinking back the horrific notions that either Tifa or Aerith would stumble upon his rotting corpse that way, weeping over him for hours on end, Cloud felt the blood flowing again. Eventually, it reached his arms and legs. Grimacing, he tried shifting, but everything felt too numb, too heavy. Patience was key; he would be able to move, but only if he didn’t push himself. Cloud acknowledged this as the rational man he knew himself to be, but each time he opened his eyes to the oppressive, dungeon blackness surrounding himself, he felt trapped. No matter how many times it happened, no matter for how long it would continue to happen, he stared blindly out into the world, and felt as though the night would never end.

It was time to accept that the darkness was now part of his reality. He would wait for it to happen again, and again, until it was finally time to start searching for tranquility.

But what if this all became his waking nightmares? What if this was the beginning of the end?

Once free to sort out and identify his own emotions, he found himself filled with an inexplicable rage. As much as Cloud had loathed the ominous, scowling dweller of his nightmares, he couldn’t tolerate to see the man breaking down in this way. No, if Sephiroth was to ever be beaten, Cloud wanted to see it through with his own weapons, his own will, his own power.

At that thought, his head started throbbing…a mix of pleasure and pain? Was it normal to feel a tingling sensation creeping between the back of his skull to his forehead?

Suddenly, a soft voice taunted, “Isn’t it an unusual coincidence that whenever you think of me, I’ve already appeared without your own knowledge?”

These days, he didn’t even need to call upon Sephiroth in order for the silver-haired angel from hell to show up. Revealing himself was what Sephiroth longed for, perhaps only because Cloud had ignored him for some time after the Wutai troops had already departed to gather more supplies and rare Materia for the war.

Sephiroth was less than chuffed as he stood leaning against the wall right beside Cloud’s bed. His skin took on a ghostly pallor, and if Cloud wagered properly, the older male wasn’t handling this any better. Whatever odd, mystical sort of source that extended beyond them was rapidly draining them of their energy. Cloud was not only imagining certain things, but he was also sensing things that weren’t happening to himself.

When Cloud screamed in fright, Sephiroth only mercifully took to ignoring Cloud’s social gaffe. “I wonder whether you’ve noticed the pull of the bond, yet.” His voice was mild, but his eyes were flashing, and Cloud noticed the vein at his temple starting to throb. Sephiroth wasn’t faring any better, so it seemed.

Fixing his mortal foe with a rude sneer, Cloud curtly replied, “I’m not going to sit about and discuss coping methods that work for me.” Nodding at the door, he ordered, “Get out. Go away.”

His only reply presented itself in the form of a perturbed Sephiroth raising his pale-colored eyebrows quite high. Stunned, he had to take a moment to formulate his thoughts before he pushed out thinly, “Get out and go away? How charming, Cloud.” Shaking his head, he added, “I only wonder how those two women I’ve often seen you with manage to hang at your side all day long with that kind of an attitude.”

These words were too barbed, too pointed, and too annoying to deal with, now. Escaping them in his own creative way, Cloud imagined hands brushing his hair away from his feverish face, cool hands, gentle hands. They would be kind…perhaps his mother’s. She’d often taken such good care of him when he was much younger. Yes, he could rely on that, at least to help him tolerate all this and get by. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the alignment of his fate for that night to enjoy such a warm creation. Reality hit him when he became more lucid, and Cloud was taken aback when he realized that no one had moved or touched his hair there at all. No warm hands lovingly caressed and stroked his face; he only had Sephiroth.

Again, he felt a splitting headache, and he sat up on the edge of his bed, dimming the lights as much as he could.

“I f-feel marvelous,” he randomly announced, even though Sephiroth hadn’t asked at all about his health. “Freakin’ g-great.”

Skipping right past the formalities and pleasantries often used in regular, quotidian conversation, Sephiroth ground out in an accusatory manner, “So, Cloud, now you know you cannot always trust your mind, nor can you trust your senses.”

That was true, but for the moment, Cloud wasn’t going to bicker. With his headache, he found he could remember things so vividly that it almost brought screams to his throat, and raucous mirth from whatever fueled Sephiroth enough to entertain him in the midst of this. Pain lingered, and concern for his own life flashed off like warning bells nearby. In the dim, still room, suspended and frozen from talking, the younger male felt something akin to cold steel at his wrists and feet. It didn’t matter how many times he checked for the ‘chains’ and bindings; they weren’t there, regardless of how real they felt.

Seizing up with growing pain slipping through his consciousness by the minute, Cloud nearly toppled to the floor. Sephiroth remained cautious, though distant as he murmured in a vexed tone, “Stubborn to the end, I see, Cloud. Well done.”

Cloud heard and was quite aware of the cruelty in Sephiroth’s voice, but he couldn’t quite make sense of the words. His brain felt foggy, and his head had started throbbing. Due to the exploding pain, he wondered if blood was leaking from his nose and mouth. It would seem logical to bleed out just pieces of himself, brilliant pieces that sent lightning strikes under Cloud’s sensitive skin. He wondered if he would wake tomorrow with lightning scars all over his body, because what currently was happening was too powerful not to leave marks.

Searching around his room erratically, he desperately ranted to himself, “Potions…I sh-should h-heal…”

Correcting him for his tangential error, Sephiroth gently advised, “Remedies you’re accustomed to applying won’t prove efficient, here.” Clamancy rushed through his voice as he nudged himself to stand straight before supplying calmly, “This isn’t a physical wound or illness, so you mustn’t fight it in ways you usually would.”

Cloud wanted to shudder again but couldn’t even summon the energy to muster that. The only thing he could do was to settle for averting his eyes and then tightly shutting them, trying to force the freight train of his thoughts onto a different path. It veered perhaps a little, but never took Cloud anywhere he wished to go. Shit…he could almost see it behind closed eyes…his soul, whatever was left of it, blowing in wispy tatters, twisting and writhing on a breeze of agony.

The pain was interminable, as was Sephiroth’s deep rumble of a purr. “Under any other circumstance, Cloud, I would take great pleasure in watching you squirm. However, as time is of the essence, I have to encourage you to stop being foolish and whimsical.”

“Please save me,” he whispered, the ineloquence already above and beyond his own head before he could scold himself for uttering the words. Even Sephiroth appeared struck because of the infandous plea.

The tall warrior took two steps back at that, and began circling Cloud, unmistakably predatory eyes burning en masse over every inch of the remuant youth’s warm skin. Shivering as his internal organs conflicted form the heat and cold, Cloud stared at the floor as Sephiroth circled, trying desperately not to move. His body was quivering with equal parts anticipation and dread over what might happen next. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides and his breathing was shallow.

Eyeing him carefully, Sephiroth growled like a wandering animal, “You know what’s to be done; what calls to you and lingers between us both.”

“Do I?” Cloud coughed, resisting the urge to pull at his own messy hair and scratch himself due to what felt like a hundred glass shards sinking into his pores. Even moving hurt, so he ceased it all as he glared away at Sephiroth. “What do we do, then?”

Sephiroth only huffed, “Direct. How appropriate.”

Stressed beyond his own understanding, Cloud stared into those guarded eyes, almost feeling how tightly Sephiroth was armored against him. “I’m honestly trying to take this seriously without my own set of judgments, Sephiroth.”

“Yeah, right,” the other man scoffed and looked away. “Try harder, and dig deeper, Cloud.”

Perhaps his imagination was getting the better of him, or perhaps he was in dire need of proper sleep. Over-exhaustion was frankly doing things to his mind and body he didn’t particularly enjoy. The tricks played on him made it seem like Sephiroth was taunting him more than usual…hell, he was even behaving out of character…as though he was reliving his later teenage years…

Digressing for a moment, Cloud mawkishly threw out, “I don’t get you.” He meant his words. Whatever ordeal Sephiroth wanted for him to go through, especially in the midst of all this antagonizing mystery that never seemed to go away was already punishing enough.

Sephiroth hardly regarded him empathetically. “Of course you don’t get it.” The condescension behind the words was infuriating, but quite apropos for his flippant, self-righteous personality and bitter attitude.

Cloud started to argue, but that proved to be something poisonous that worked against himself quite quickly. Pain expanded up and down the length of his spine before stretching into his shoulders and neck. Twisting and arching away from it, Cloud fought against the invisible source to no avail. Eyebrows furrowed in a tight knot, Cloud bashed himself against the bed frame before Sephiroth wrapped his arms about his smaller, shorter form.

“Cloud! Breathe! Cloud!” Every time the One Winged Angel spoke to him, it eased the treacherous burdens and pain, but it was a temporary balm.

Much to Cloud’s imminent disappointment and chagrin, the pain would bounce right back, nearly causing him to become one with the floor. His body twitched in odd patterns, but eventually, when he leaned against Sephiroth’s sturdy arms and chest, the spasmodic motions and seizing of muscles came to an end.

The pain lingered there, however, threatening to return in full. Carefully and slowly, Sephiroth let go, and Cloud immediately opened his mouth in shattering relief to suck in a lungful of air. The young ex-SOLDIER didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath. With maudlin sentiments floating around in his mind and over the tip of his tongue, when he drifted back to consciousness, he stood on his feet as best as he could. Facing Sephiroth, he gaped as he urgently demanded, “What was that all about?!”

Hands outstretched, as though cautious and anticipating another fall, Sephiroth whispered faintly, “I told you; stop fighting it, else it’ll become worse for us both.”

“Sephiroth! Please!” Realizing he had to lower his voice due to the fact that he had neighbors on both sides of the walls, Cloud huskily asked, “Can you t-tell me?” Wanting to throw himself to the floor and crawl away had been on his mind, but he didn’t want the prodding and stabbing sensations to plague his skin. Sliding around on broken glass would be more pleasant…

Cutting to the chase once he caught how badly Cloud was suffering and struggling, Sephiroth coldly orated, “Sustenance. Same way the body hungers for food and requires drink, souls need power and fuel.” Mildly sarcastic, he stopped as he grinned down at Cloud, perhaps still finding the blonde’s turmoil slightly amusing.

The words were rather barren, and Cloud didn’t need to hear the ineloquence. Waving his arms frantically up and down, he winced in pain as he stubbornly spat, “I d-don’t f-follow, Sephiroth! Cut the bullshit, and j-just tell me what’s going o-on here!”

Upper lip curling and drawing back, Sephiroth’s eyes slanted in Cloud’s direction, and his arms tightened across his chest. He threw out with disgust, “What do you suppose couples do, Cloud?”

Frozen for a moment, Cloud cocked his head in confusion. “What?”

Pointing at Cloud with his own chin jutting out, Sephiroth stated, “Linking of the souls requires a form of…shall we say, intimacy most couples crave for to strengthen and seal their own bonds. Some bonds are physical, and some aren’t.” Glaring at Cloud, Sephiroth’s eyes seemed to scream out: ‘Do you get it, now?!’

He did. Cloud wasn’t entirely ignorant or slow by any stretch of the imagination when it came to implications and innuendoes. The symbols and meanings insinuated through and through.

“Shit…that’s…bullshit…” Dismissing the ridiculous concept, Cloud thrust everything from his mind but their current conflict. Whatever notion Sephiroth was entertaining in his stupid mind, Cloud wanted to erase off the planet completely.

Set on that, Cloud arrogantly and snidely bellowed out potently, “If you’re asking me to sleep with you, then you might as well get the hell out of my sight once and for all, because I’m _never_ going to give you that.”

He had no idea how Sephiroth would react to him, now. For that matter, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the current state of things, himself. Part of himself was still confused more than ever, but beneath the surface, there was a great, overwhelming pull. An ache…it was a need, and he recognized it for what it was. Repulsed, he wanted to reprehend and admonish himself for feeling it. What did he even need? He couldn’t understand it emotionally, even though his rational side understood the reasons behind it.

The insufferable summer heat wasn’t helping any. The niggling aches and pulls trying to loop and reel him further into Sephiroth were pitiful. On top of all that, his body was sore in numerous places, which caused his mood and confidence to plummet. At least in winter, there were jackets and heavy sweaters to keep temptation at bay. But in this sticky, summer month when necessity forced him to wear as little clothing as propriety would allow, his life was a misery. Everything was out there in the open, just screaming to be touched, especially something squirming deeply within his conscience.

With a resolute stride which belied his inner confusion and raw anger, Sephiroth walked in long strides around the room, no clear path set for himself. It appeared he was only pacing as a means of distracting himself, as well as attempting to repugn against whatever it was he was silently suffering through as well. When he’d made his final around back to Cloud, the eyes and face that turned his way were hard and ungiving.

Cloud shivered as he panted out quickly, “D-don’t touch me, don’t come n-near me, and don’t try anything perverted and g-gross. Do you hear me?”

Sephiroth sniped, “You idiot. I can’t do anything without your consent. It doesn’t work that way, and if I tried such a thing, the results would be lethal for us!”

Good to know. That information came in handy about as much as Barret’s sunglasses in the middle of the night did. While only marginally relieved to know that Sephiroth wasn’t a reprobate, inverecund degenerate ready to pounce on him at any given chance, that still wasn’t enough of what Cloud needed to achieve solace and tranquility.

Hanging back, he only observed as Sephiroth scoffed down upon him carelessly and coldly. Regretfully, almost, the irascent male snapped, “You still know nothing. It isn’t—”

“It’s sex,” Cloud interrupted, no longer bothering to feel abashed and shy. Cutting to the chase, he repeated, “You want sex, don’t you?”

Sephiroth, quite vexed, replied with caution painting his voice. “It doesn’t matter what I want; the fact is that there is a way to ease this misery, but you’re insisting on suffering. May I ask why?”

Cloud refused, abruptly shaking his head until he’d given himself another headache. Wincing, he blurted out messily, “Whatever the hell it is, I’m not doing it.”

“You didn’t even listen,” Sephiroth pointed out, ever so calm and logical in his approach and composure. Chin jutting out, his eyes narrowed at Cloud, and he hissed like a demonic serpent. “I’ve stated countless times that there is no sex between souls in a soul bond. When will you get it through your head?”

Feeling how parched and scratchy his throat was, Cloud wished for a fresh glass of water while he rasped ruefully, “Fine. Go on, explain it.”

Unsure of how to prepare himself for this disgusting, horrific topic, Cloud ensured he wasn’t staring directly into Sephiroth’s eyes, first, and he then balanced his weight carefully on both legs. The last thing he needed was for more of his strength, courage, and dignity to go right out the window, especially in front of his most despised nemesis.

Relenting a lot sooner than Cloud anticipated he would, Sephiroth stated succinctly, “It’s intimate bonding, yes, but there will be no touching, nothing…” He paused, pulling a disgusted face before orating, “…Nothing deeper or closer in a physical sense. It’s only merging of souls, but without your will, there’s nothing I can do to force this upon you.” Pushing his hair and shoulders back, Sephiroth softly finished, “That’s the only way, unless you enjoy suffering.”

Blinking back tears of anger, confusion, and sorrow, Cloud rasped in disdain, “Soul sex? Oh my…no…” Scoffing, he coughed, hiccupped, and inhaled sharply. “This is insane! You’re a pervert!”

“A pervert?” Sephiroth repeated with a crude laugh. “I’m afraid not. This was practiced for centuries.” Placing his hands at his sides, he snarled, “I suppose you should refer to the Cetra as ‘perverts’ as well, then.”

This was sheer absurdity and madness. Frowning deeply to the point where it physically hurt his facial muscles, Cloud hurriedly argued, “I’m n-not going to s-sit by and let this th-thing kill me.”

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth fired back, “That’s precisely what will happen if you don’t start taking this seriously, Cloud.” Avoiding vaniloquence and exaggeration, he ground out thickly, “What I’m suggesting isn’t at all painful in comparison to what you’re experiencing. I assure you.”

No. He’d already trusted Sephiroth once, and he vowed never again to take the pompous-sounding man’s words to heart. All this would definitely cater to his untimely end in one way or another. If he had to go, Cloud much preferred an honorable, meaningful death rather than whatever it was Sephiroth was planning.

Obstinately, the youth hotly barked out in a clipped manner, “I can m-manage on my o-own just f-f-fine!”

 _‘Damn my voice! I got this!!’_ As he lost himself to the interminable demands of his recadency, Cloud’s eyes grew wider and wider, and his breathing became faster and faster. His heart was slamming erratically in his chest and the thought of lying down again to sleep was making him want to vomit. He was dizzy, so he tried focusing on Sephiroth, who turned around, eyes narrowed. It seemed to work, and once the floor stopped spinning, Cloud closed his own weary eyes and tried to get a handle on his breathing. After that was done, he opened his eyes and looked numbly up at Sephiroth.

Reading his mind again, Sephiroth sighed as he shook his head in disappointment. “You haven’t ‘got this’, Cloud,” he muttered in shame. “The bond has already sealed its hold on us both, and I believe I already warned you about the consequences to come should you fight or struggle against this cycle.”

Nearly collapsing in a dull heap, Cloud’s head throbbed and pounded. Boiling hot to the touch, he ignored his groggy, bleary vision as he squinted mutinously at Sephiroth. “S-still standing on b-both legs here, dumbass. Proves y-your p-point entirely w-wrong.”

Turning his nose up snobbishly, Sephiroth enunciated clearly, “As you wish. Insult me, if it makes you feel better. But only time will prove to us both how strong you really are, Cloud.”

Waving that off, Cloud panted, “I d-don’t need you.” Somehow, his damn, treacherous body and soul stated otherwise. The moment that sentence had been crassly spoken, he nearly caved down to his knees.

“You have very little else in the way of options, Cloud,” Sephiroth bit out with regret as he glared down at the floor. “Either you carry on this charade and useless idea, gradually weakening us both, or you succumb to the bond’s nature.” Pointing at Cloud sternly like a ruling master, he spat, “The decision is yours. Remember that.”

While Cloud swayed about, hardly able to catch his breath, Sephiroth was gone in a flash.

Clutching the sides of his skull, Cloud panted and wheezed. Tears leaked forth from the corners of his eyes as he whispered in pain, “Shit…I…I…c-can’t…I can’t…”

Perhaps death wasn’t such a dreary fate in this dark circumstance. Why, he was even considering testing it, now.


	16. Sensory Overload

Limits had been pushed, and Cloud’s patience had come to an end. As a former SOLDIER, he’d commended himself for his strength and high levels of tolerance without resorting to odium and the need for self-blame. Pity had no place in his world, and the valiant youth enjoyed being fearless and bold. He still considered himself worthy of possessing an intrepid spirit, of course. It thrilled him to be highly renowned when it came to his will power, his prowess, and his courage never to give up and give in.

…If only that version of a stalwart Cloud Strife appeared right now. It’d be lovely, and quite welcome. That never came to fruition, sadly enough. Things took a turn for the worst as the days sped by. For Cloud, time moved at a snail’s pace, but he didn’t dare falter. He aided and assisted as best as he could, guarding and watching protectively over the women, children, and elderly. He carried some of their belongings back and forth as they all traveled down through the charted-out map and tunnels Yuffie’s men had dug. The dark tunnels extended from Sector 7 through to Wutai Area. It wasn’t an easy journey to make; it was long, tedious, time-consuming, grueling, and taxing.

Some denizens chose to travel by Chocobo, especially Biggs. Since his ‘awakening’, the young man had conceded to himself silently that he wasn’t combat ready, and perhaps wouldn’t be for quite some time. As a result, Biggs often kept to himself, and while warm and approachable to his friends and cherished ones, he never kept within the company of fighters. Tifa suspected that Biggs was really depressed, which could’ve explained why he didn’t associate more with his friends. No doubt, as strong as they were when united, they reminded Biggs of things he couldn’t yet achieve. That was reason enough to sequester himself to small rooms for some time.

Everyone else was willing to trust the Wutai people as they journeyed through the marked paths. Meticulously, Barret and Red monitored the areas as closely as they could, sometimes traveling back and forth with the more fearful people who needed to be escorted. The journey wasn’t too perilous as long as the Wutai warriors were around and kept vigilant at their posts. Everyone co-operated and focused so their assigned tasks and duties were accomplished. For a long time, no one thought of anything aside from their own safety, health, as well as keeping an eye on their own belongings.

A few times, people wondered out loud whether this was a good idea. The Wutai warriors didn’t seem too overbearing or frightening as a whole, but it was a lot better and far wiser to go along with their silent orders and instructions rather than show attitude and fight back.

When they reached it after days of traveling, Wutai Area proved to be quite lovely, and the scenic views were rewarding and phenomenal. Rich in luscious greenery and vegetation, Wutai’s landmass was occupied by great mountainous terrain and forests. The populace was spread out evenly and nicely, and as Barret had previously alluded to, the area was beautiful enough to have served as a tourist attraction. An expansive, massive ocean accessed and surrounded by a large, beauteous beach was spread along the southern tip.

A few excited children were already playing and swimming about, their exuberant, contagious laughter ringing high in the air. The rest of the landmass was skirted by steep cliffs. The town of Wutai had a lot of small river junctions running throughout the village itself. The soft, clean waters churned and flowed through and through, red, bright bridges standing over them and connecting shops and other places to visit between them.

It seemed that the people of Wutai who lived and worked here were rather welcoming and friendly. Although initially apprehensive, when they saw their own warriors and troops guiding everyone out of the tunnels, they were calmer and even greeted everyone warmly by helping them. This was certainly a good enough place to rest, and for the first time in weeks, Cloud felt like he could maybe get some decent sleep at night.

As they all unpacked and surveyed the extravagant area as they set base, a few messengers and other warriors whispered to Zor and Yuffie in swift, hushed tones. Cloud hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but a certain individual’s name ushered out under duress caught his attention as much as fire in a peaceful night. Don Corneo was supposedly in the area, spotted by Yuffie’s men. The young woman grew testy and stern, and she soon disappeared after asking her troops to show her where Don Corneo had been last seen. Zor stated that once everyone was settled, the Wutai leader, Godo Kisaragi wanted to personally meet every Avalanche member.

Promising.

As excited and thrilled as everyone else was regarding that prospect, Cloud had no energy. The entire move had psychologically and physically drained him, but he was also lacking profoundly in other unknown ways. Sustenance, as Sephiroth had called it. That’s what he needed. No amount of eating and drinking was solving the problem, as Cloud realized that same night during a luxurious feast the Wutai troops and people graced their guests with. The wine, scrumptious meals, delectable vegetables, and delightful meat on full display certainly was inviting, but midway through consuming it, Cloud felt dubiety and unrest lurching forth inside himself.

As a result of his shifty behavior, he caused for his friends to eye him with heavy amounts of concern and dubitative natures in their glancing. His aberrant actions caused a bit of a scene during the feast, but thankfully, he managed to slip by when dessert was served. Cloud couldn’t even recall his words and his reasoning for why he’d abruptly departed from the banquet. Maybe he’d said something about having a harsh stomachache, maybe not. Either way, he felt thankful to be out in the fresh night air, but the emancipation from his fulsome thoughts and problems was short-lived.

His feet were rapidly moving, practically flying off the ground as he ran. He didn’t even know what he was running from; he only relished in the feeling of the wind slapping him in the face, blowing his blonde hair back messily. With every step he took, he could’ve sworn he heard hauntingly sad humming…but no one else was out here! They were practically in the middle of the damn woods! Who could’ve been lurking about, and why were they humming these sad, lost notes??

The animals of the forest had even gone quiet. Cloud knew he had to leave the area, but he didn’t know when he was going to reach the clearing of the forest so he could bed down in his cabin for the night. Was he lost?? As he stopped long enough to spin in a tight circle, he found that it appeared so. He recognized nothing here, and the flags and statues of Leviathan weren’t even anywhere near here. Nothing symbolic gave away the answers to where he was, and Cloud started panicking. He was now lost, and also feeling as unwell as the last time he’d spoken with Sephiroth. Now, he had nowhere to go, no one to cry to for help…

As he tried steadying and regulating his wild, out of control breathing, Cloud heard rustling sounding from somewhere close to himself. Snapping his head in the direction of the odd noise, he groaned in bouts of misery and fear when he caught sight of a heavy mass of Whispers. The cloaked, breathy phantoms swarmed him, knocking him off-course as they soared above his head and gathered together. Resembling a large, thick tornado, they began blowing forth potent air that almost pushed Cloud down to the grass and soil due to its raw power. The wind they created howled like a beast, but Cloud had no time to be scared of them. If he burned up any further, he knew he would perish. His clothes felt as though they would melt and meld into his skin and bones, but there wasn’t time to take them off. He wanted to, but it was hopeless.

The Whispers didn’t leave, but they dispersed mildly when Cloud lay flatly on the cold grass. Shivering and drenched in his own sweat, Cloud only reacted in the way he’d previously done when faced with the mysterious Whispers. In the past, he’d always chosen to play it safe, to wait until guilt was irrefutable before striking. The Whispers had attacked them before, and if that’s what they wanted to do to him, now, then he would lie in wait for their first move. If he was to go down, at least he could take some of his pride and dignity.

A large hand suddenly touched the center of his back, but it’d been what he’d desired for all along. Shivering potently, Cloud looked up past his rapidly fluttering eyelashes. Eyes rolling back into his head, he whimpered, and it sounded so weak and fragile.

Sephiroth glanced at him, eyes shining with mild concern. No words needed to be exchanged; natural inclinations and instincts took over. Cloud extended both his arms, and his fingers barely grazed over the older male’s cheeks. They swiped and brushed lightly against his skin, and all too soon, Cloud lost his energy. Before his arms could go crashing to the ground, Sephiroth held onto them, and he yanked the drained youth up effortlessly. Cradling him to his chest, Sephiroth carried him swiftly through the swarm of Whispers.

When no further doubt of culpability remained, he’d swooped in like an avenging angel, relentless and merciless in the taking...because the only time Whispers of his caliber were sent in on this type of internal clean-up was when it was a grievous error someone else had made. The phantom-like creatures bound by fate didn’t seem to want to take Sephiroth on. They never caused him harm, and they only floated away when he extended his right wing and held tightly onto Cloud.

The young man half-unconsciously hanging onto the silver-haired male droned something inarticulate, and as their eyes met, Sephiroth gently nodded. Cloud’s eyes shut on their own accord, but his body fed on the heavy amounts of greed seeping through his veins. This was cowardice. He didn’t know why, but as his mind slipped further and deeper into all thoughts on Sephiroth, the motivation behind his own betrayal was irrelevant: avarice, blackmail, extortion. It was all the same to him, and he’d easily discarded it into the wind. The only thing that mattered was that Sephiroth was present, here, and he was with Cloud, now.

Sephiroth’s fingers trailed in his hair before he realized the One Winged Angel had even touched him, and he leaned slowly towards the taller, sturdier male, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Cloud pressed his face against Sephiroth’s chest, succumbing to the sweet sensations. They lulled him to sleep, but so did the deep rumble of the wind and thunder above.

Another series of crashing sounds, louder than the first, and Sephiroth steadied Cloud carefully in both arms. The black feathers of his right wing rustled, and he stretched the appendage, almost flexing it while the Whispers mellowed out and simmered down. Peace wasn’t with them, but with Sephiroth, Cloud distantly thought. Sephiroth’s grip scantly tightened over his weak body, and his feathers ruffled when the wind blew. Expression still as tormented as Cloud had ever seen, the stronger male peered up, as though he was waiting and listening…

The wind stopped, far too abruptly, far too mysteriously. The sky grew darker, and when his wing expanded as far and as much as it could go, Sephiroth kicked off the ground. Together, they were flying out the forests in Wutai Village. Sinking deeper and further into his feebleness, Cloud lay emptily in Sephiroth’s arms. As he took to the sky, Sephiroth’s long coat and uniform spread behind himself like bat wings. The air was quite cold, and Cloud bit down hard on his tongue to still the stupefied sensations making his skin tingle.

Was that a hand grazing over his cheek so tenderly and lovingly? Or was it one of Sephiroth’s feathers?

Sephiroth still had yet to say a word to him, but he didn’t need to. Cloud knew that had he spoken, he would be totally lost. He truthfully wasn’t certain whether he would be able to contain himself any longer, as it happened. Just thinking about Sephiroth’s comforting, deep voice was already the antidote and sedative he needed. With a keening sort of whine, his head lolled backwards, wide-eyed, while he mutely continued to stare up in worship of Sephiroth.

Powerfully, the strong ex-SOLDIER launched himself through the air. There was a deafening, rumbustious roar and a blinding flash of light in the background. When the first few raindrops fell, the images once again flew into Cloud’s mind. They churned and swam, repeating themselves numerous times, though they never stuck around long enough to make sense and to tell a story. He never paid attention to them while Sephiroth’s wing flapped, taking them higher above the trees than ever imaginable.

Hanging on tightly, Cloud pressed the icy tip of his nose into Sephiroth’s warm chest. For a moment, he’d forgotten that Sephiroth’s upper torso was nude beneath the dark straps that held his uniform together. It didn’t trouble Sephiroth, much, but he seemed mildly distracted by it. A few curious Whispers followed them as they glided through the sky, and when one of them dared to try and lunge in an attack aimed at Cloud, Sephiroth swiped at it with his Masamune. His deadly motions sent the phantom sprawling down in the grass.

Growling, Sephiroth flew off faster as he grabbed Cloud’s right wrist and pressed down onto it. Perhaps he was feeling for his pulse, but Cloud had no way of knowing. He faded in and out of consciousness, and that was tampering with his experiences and memories. Sephiroth was touching his face and neck, and Cloud felt the nauseating jerk of an odd, hot sensation behind his navel. With his last bits of energy, he wrapped an arm around Sephiroth as their bodies sailed even higher above the puny ground, the buildings below as tiny as insects.

The last thing Cloud remembered hanging onto was the sound of the harsh wind howling around them, the cries and wails piercing through his burning ears.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Bits and pieces were all Cloud had. When he came to, they’d dropped down into the yard behind a large mansion. Picturesque in its beauty, the brownstones that were holdovers from a gentler, more refined age hadn’t been what he’d expected. Head tilting back while he still was draped in Sephiroth’s arms, Cloud supposed it was an old mansion Sephiroth had recreated in the same way he’d done so during their practice sessions and duels. It was too perfect and gentle to be real, but it was as good as it would get.

Foliage and vegetation surrounded the property, shades of red, purple, pink, and yellow coloring the ground. Taking in the carefully tended rose bushes crowding the limited flowerbeds and garden, Cloud could almost believe that they’d moved through time as well as space. Those beautifully maintained bushes looked like something from a Victorian garden. Although by comparison, as it was so cold and rainy in Wutai, in here, it didn’t seem to matter and match. Most of the plants still bore colorful blooms, and they swayed gently in the soft-flowing breeze.

Sephiroth was just as fast as ever, though relatively panicked and flustered. He said all but three words to Cloud as he vanished them out of the gardens and into the large, clean mansion. It was just as warm and soothing inside as in the gardens, but the change of pace and scenery caused Cloud’s mind to swirl in dizziness. It was difficult to even see Sephiroth moving, but the steady pace and footsteps echoing back in his ears alerted him to the fact that Sephiroth had padded about through the main level of the abode.

There were many things he unfortunately failed to see due to his disrupted senses. The grand sights and decorations zipped past him while he held on for dear life. To his mild terror, Cloud assumed they’d be walking forever. The journey perhaps would never cease…that truly horrified him, but that assertion soon proved to be nothing more than his own worries taking far too much life and energy than they needed.

Sephiroth’s feet eventually paused before a dark door, and Cloud nearly moaned out loud in relief. The sound of the door being pushed open was music to his ears. Sephiroth was then tearing inside and heading into the nearest hall on the left. Even in harsh times like this, Sephiroth had to toy with him. Cloud wasn’t in the mood to wonder about it and argue later. Whatever and wherever the hell this was, it was better than being stuck outside, lost to his own petulant woes and issues. At least here, he was certain he would gain something, and seek after some sort of release.

The infernal hallway eventually ended. Perhaps ten minutes had ebbed by, or perhaps it was ten seconds. Time seemed immaterial, here. All he knew was that the next time his eyelids flew open, he was staring around the newest brightly lit room, and Sephiroth had stopped walking. Cloud knew what immediate relief was when he noticed only a steaming mug on a dark, round coffee table, and not the martini decanter he’d feared to be found in a place like this. Cloud wasn’t a heavy drinker by nature, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy indulging once in a while. However, there was no cause for it tonight. He still didn’t really grasp what they were supposed to be doing in here, but at least Sephiroth wasn’t going to force drinks down his throat.

As he tried putting the pieces together, Cloud found the room to be rather inviting and peaceful. They stood in the center of it for some time, with the constant feel of Sephiroth’s smooth, dark gloves clenching and then releasing their hold on his legs as he held him in his arms bridal style. Cloud noticed that the bedroom wasn’t large, but it was much nicer than the one he’d had at Sector 7. It was decorated in dark blue and grey tones, and the furniture all matched with grace and etiquette. The bed was bigger than any four-poster he’d seen even in the fanciest of hotels in Wall Market.

A large, old mahogany trunk rested at the foot of the bed, the large, golden padlock hiding away all the secrets within. On the wall opposite the bed were two large mirrors, a few windows between large dressers, along with a few pictures of people Cloud never recognized. They had to be important and prominent figures, however. The one that caught his eyes the most was a brunette woman with long flowing locks resting down to her waist. She had quite a pleasant smile on her face, and he felt relaxed when he studied her soft features.

There was a small closet, where no robes or other clothes could be found hanging, and a small chest of drawers where he figured he would probably find the rest of the clothes, if any were here. Heavy, thick books were arranged categorically on a bookshelf, and a fully stocked writing desk was in the corner opposite the neatly made bed. Acres of green countryside were visible out the window. It felt rather homey, really, and Cloud stared at everything, wondering who had taken the trouble to try to make his stay here so comfortable.

Sephiroth wouldn’t just do this for anyone, _if_ it had been him…

The living room lingering adjacent to the bedroom itself was strangely cozy, not at all any less fancy than the slums lifestyle Cloud would lead one to expect. The overfilled, floor-to-ceiling bookcase that ran the length of the left wall betrayed Sephiroth’s peculiar passion for the written word. Sephiroth had of course always seemed too refined, but this was quite jarring.

The furnishings were chosen more for comfort than style, although the combined effect was quite pleasant. A large, overstuffed sofa held court in the center of the room. Its tasteful green and brown, floral print upholstery complemented the two chairs that flanked it. The matching, wing-backed easy chairs were a forest green, the rug a discreet beige. The final, homey touch were the side tables standing on either side of the bed. They were the same dark, highly polished wood as the coffee table and bookcase. Mahogany or possibly walnut, Cloud thought.

Even the rest of the décor was placed about properly, leaving nothing too cluttered and messy. Sephiroth’s furniture clustered around a marble fireplace. There was a fire crackling in the hearth, now. From the height of the flames and generous amount of untouched wood left, it appeared someone had just lit it. The cheery flames seemed to reach out and embrace Cloud’s weary spirit. Of all the luxuries Sephiroth’s high-priced, bountiful mansion offered, it was only the fireplace which Cloud envied. It was so damn warm…so enchanting to look deeply at…

Somehow, Cloud had ended up resting on the edge of the bed. Sephiroth momentarily turned to slam and lock the door. Cloud was certain he was going crazy; he could hear voices whispering odd things. Cradling his head in his hands, he inhaled and exhaled slowly and sharply in quick bursts. He felt his head throbbing and shaking, his shoulders soon following the motions as he panicked.

His labored breaths continued flowing out in short bursts, and he soon wheezed and coughed. It felt as if the air in the room was being sucked out through a large vacuum. Why was it so hard to breathe? It was a strenuous task to try and get up, for his legs each felt as if they’d been weighed down by a 200-pound weight. He felt the energy and breaths leave his body with every movement he made, and the door kept getting smaller and smaller, as if it was being pushed farther away from himself.

Sephiroth disappeared for a moment. He’d walked to the living room, motioning for Cloud not to follow. Obstinate to the end, Cloud didn’t want to sit there shaking all day and night. Using the time Sephiroth was gone, he crawled away from the bed and curled himself at the end of the deep green sofa. He considered settling into a burgundy leather wingback, but Cloud thought it would be terribly uncomfortable.

Sephiroth returned, and he paused as he stood before the sofa, eyes scowling down at Cloud. He held something in his right hand, but he sneered derisively and cruelly. “I told you not to move,” he growled through his vitriol at being deliberately disobeyed.

Wondering when the damn pains would alleviate, Cloud messily sobbed out, “My…h-head…I’m…I feel l-like sh-shit…” He finished this off by laughing and sniffling, a rather pathetic, choked sound.

Sephiroth remained silent, but he approached confidently, his stride never faltering. Holding the mysterious object before Cloud, with his opposite hand, he gently stroked the blonde. Cloud leaned into the touch, his face almost level with Sephiroth’s crotch. In their heated demeanor, neither of them took notice of it.

Almost purring like a content feline, Cloud nodded up at the item, and Sephiroth brandished it properly. It turned out to be a small, crystal glass, and within it was held some odd-looking ruby red liquid. Cloud had no idea what it was. It didn’t ring any bells of familiarity within himself, and he didn’t suppose it was alcohol. Ignoring it for a moment, he shifted his focus back on being within the meretricious room, enjoying Sephiroth’s ingratiating touches bestowed upon himself.

A rumbustious growl emanated forth from Sephiroth’s diaphragm all the way to his strong sternum. “Shall I stop?” he inquired softly, though his face was still blank.

His fingers slowed down as they threaded through Cloud’s hair, but the question itself took the unsuspecting ex-SOLDIER by surprise. He blinked, but it did nothing for him as he caved in to every touch.

“N-no,” his voice shook, though there wasn’t room for embarrassment. Flushing deep pink, Cloud’s eyes roved up and down Sephiroth’s form, eventually landing on the strange drink.

Sephiroth stared at it as well, but his eyes didn’t hold any curious fascination in the way Cloud’s eyes did. Lips set in a thin, stern line, he gently pressed the glass to Cloud’s lips as he faintly uttered, “Drink it all.”

When the glass sat there a few inches away from his nostrils, Cloud sniffed. No distinct scents wafted into the air, and he couldn’t identify what the liquid he was being offered was.

Mildly troubled, he fidgeted away from the glass as he timorously stated, “I...won’t…not until you tell me what you’re g-g-giving me.”

Before Sephiroth could offer something up, Cloud hurriedly concluded, “And I d-don’t need to know th-the histories of e-every ingredient in th-this…d-don’t t-take this as a way to sh-show off what y-y-you know. I don’t w-want a lecture, and I d-don’t care h-how delicate and s-s-subtle everything is.”

When he was through, Sephiroth cocked his head down at him, though his face remained blank and impassive. “Are you finished being a nuisance?” he asked shortly, shaking his head a few times in hopelessness.

“Sh-shut up.” Cloud grinned weakly, trying to show that he’d been joking. Mostly.

Sephiroth didn’t find it amusing or charming as he narrowed his eyes but answered the question.

Flicking a finger at Cloud’s cheek, he hissed, “It’s just a small sedative; a restorative, for nutrition and hydration, seeing as regular food or drink won’t sustain you any longer.” Pushing the glass upwards again, he repeated, “Drink up.”

Cloud already assumed the worst. To his ears, this sounded much like it was an incredibly powerful sleeping draught. How grand. So his impudent enemy had abducted him from the Wutai Village, flown him off to an undisclosed location far from his friends, and was now drugging him. Fantastic. What a glorious way to go out, indeed.

Torn between spitting in the glass and punching it across the room so it shattered into a million pieces, Cloud sniffed at it again. That earned him a rather odd glare from Sephiroth, but the older male gently pushed the glass to Cloud’s lips even more incessantly than previously.

Fear flashed in Cloud’s Mako-infused eyes, and he weakly cried, “No, you’re going to poison—”

Scoffing abruptly, Sephiroth gripped Cloud’s arm when he tried pushing the glass away from himself. “Stop that, Cloud,” Sephiroth began in a scolding tone. Once more, he took to pushing the cold glass closer, he calmly stated, “This is meant to help you. It’s both a strength potion, as well as a soothing, calming draught.”

When Cloud eyed him incredulously, sarcasm took over. Sephiroth petulantly bit out, “Think of it as a substance that will take your pain, your worries, your fears, and cast them all aside. It’s a focusing draught. A muscle relaxant. An analgesic…or in English, it’s a painkiller, Cloud.”

Resisting the urge to say something quite rude and colorful, Cloud only rolled his eyes. Slowly, he reached forth with his hand, and his fingers wrapped about the glass. “Wow. You sure know a l-lot of fancy w-words.” He had the feeling Sephiroth had left something off the list, but he wasn’t sure if he had enough curious energy to go chasing after it, now. It was more so an afterthought, anyway.

Sephiroth waited patiently, and time really seemed to take a dramatic pause when Cloud studied the beverage in his glass. Swishing it within the container, he watched as the bright red painted the walls of the crystal-clear glass. Churning it over and over, he imagined drowning himself within a red sea much in the same way. Dismally, he felt the pain returning to himself ten-fold, and he raised the glass to his lips.

Face scrunched up in fear and disgust already, his tongue darted out, just the tip lapping feebly at the liquid. It had no taste…odd. Licking at it again to double-check, his eyebrows flew up when he discovered that there indeed was no taste to this beverage in the slightest. It didn’t burn his tongue, it didn’t sting, it didn’t taste bitter, nor was it hot or cold. At the most, it was at a decent room temperature, and Cloud kept licking away at it.

Sephiroth snorted in disgust. “You’re not an animal, so stop drinking like that.” Fingers curling and sliding beneath the glass, he tipped it carefully and cautiously to Cloud’s lips.

The liquid traveled along with the tilt, and before Cloud found himself soaked with the odd fluid, he hurriedly drank as much of it in one gulp as he could. Adam’s Apple bobbing, he chugged the rest down in one more gulp, a few tiny drops trickling down the corners of his mouth and onto his chin.

Before they could fall, Sephiroth wiped them away, still aiding in holding the glass steadily against the younger ex-SOLDIER’s mouth. Quite observant in his nature, he didn’t push any further as Cloud lapped up the last drops, and then lowered the glass to his lap.

Chest rising and falling as he inhaled and exhaled deeply, he paused, waiting for the pain to abate. Wasn’t that the job of the ‘calming draught’? He’d thought and assumed as much, but as he sat there for over five minutes in unmitigated silence, nothing happened. Much to his chagrin and interminable rage, the pain still persisted.

“Well,” he began in a curt tone, “that was useless and stupid.” Aiming to be caustic and bitter, he wiped his moist lips with the back of a hand as he sighed, “Got a-any other bright ideas?”

As Cloud peered up at Sephiroth, his stomach fell. His confidence and smug sense of humor was next to go when he finally learned that not only was Sephiroth not angry or put off by his barbed comment, but he seemed…to be up to something. Perhaps not necessarily hatching a plot, but his eyes flashed and glowed with a bit of mischief about them Cloud hadn’t seen often. Not unless Sephiroth was getting some twisted, strange ideas. Cloud Strife wasn’t someone who liked entertaining strange ideas.

Rusticity overwhelming every aspect of his demeanor, he drew away momentarily, peeking down instead at his glass. “Why didn’t it work?” The mousy tone his voice had taken on shocked himself, but there was no way to hide it, now.

Assessing him with a composed body posture and veneer, Sephiroth neutrally pointed out, “That won’t work by itself. It’s a stabilizer, yes, but you have to take something else in time with it, otherwise, the effects will be wasted.”

Assuming he meant another drink, Cloud nodded, patiently waiting for one as he held his glass up before Sephiroth.

“No, Cloud,” Sephiroth demurred as he gently pushed the glass back down. The gloaming emanating forth from outside seeped in, outlining the silver-haired man rather majestically as he stood closer than ever to Cloud. In the evening light, Sephiroth basked, far too confidently as his scelestic eyes twinkled like scintillating diamonds.

Disconsolately, Cloud bemoaned in a piteous manner, “No?! Y-you _do_ w-want me to suffer, then!” Chin quivering, he fought back tears and an onrush of sorrow. Sniffling like a cowardice child abandoned, he couldn’t think of the words and the cutting insults to fling at Sephiroth. Anything he could conjure would never be nearly enough, but also, the gears in his mind had taken a detrimental downfall. He couldn’t even think to speak!

Hanging his head in disgrace and shame, Cloud thought of ways he could beg and ask to be taken back to his friends. Dying with his ego and pride attached was far better than…whatever the hell was going on, here. Yes, that seemed…super wise…super sagacious.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth began, moving back so he wasn’t overwhelming his junior, but also to give them both enough space. Knowing he was fully in Cloud’s field of vision, now, he stood tall like a regal god as he spoke down to the troubled male. “I can still help you, but we have to just let this happen.” Sephiroth inclined his head toward Cloud, then, all vulpine smile and glittering eyes.

Swallowing down bile that consistently threatened to seep out of himself, Cloud mordantly spat, “You’re a depraved bastard.”

Once again, he was taken back to the unfortunate incident involving Don Corneo. Taction involving another man was going to break him, and he only knew how to lash out with his curse words, using the same ones he’d aimed at Don Corneo. The fact that he’d thrown them at Sephiroth proved to be irresultive. Sephiroth wasn’t one to lash out from a tiny insult, Cloud found. Instead, he gazed for many long seconds at Cloud, hardly even blinking. 

It was strange to be on the receiving end of it, but also not nearly as irksome as Cloud wanted to overreact and push that narrative.

Pressing a hand over his stomach, he tried to stand up, thinking that Sephiroth was still insisting on wasting his time. Waving a hand at him dismissively, Cloud winced and stated bluntly, “You’re a c-coward, and you brought me here away from me friends b-because…”

Because of what? Wasn’t there a reason? Didn’t he understand his odible foe’s plans?

…No, he really didn’t; he’d only been bluffing and acting tough, more as a means to shield himself from everything he both craved after and equally despised.

“Sephiroth?”

What answer did he want to hear? Unfortunately, the maliferous older warrior did not reply immediately. Merely watching Cloud with veiled eyes had been the set plan, already sending Cloud in a small fit of fury until Sephiroth deemed it appropriate to say something.

“Hush,” Sephiroth’s gentle voice blanketed him, sending warm rays and generously pleasurable gooseflesh lighting its way across Cloud’s skin. As his lips twitched frivolously, perhaps in the beginnings of a peculiar smile, Sephiroth explained, “You don’t need to worry; just come to me and allow what’s meant to happen take on its own course.”

“You’re s-sick,” Cloud admonished in the beginnings of his indelible argument. Wanting to yank out every strand of his hair, he bellowed woefully as his brows furrowed tightly, “You—I just want t-to leave!”

Staring at the door and then the windows blandly, Sephiroth orated with mild irritation, “As much as you may think you need that, I assure you, it won’t take you very far.”

“That’s b-better than being a-around y-you! You rapist—”

Sephiroth crossed over so quickly towards him, that Cloud’s impetuous sentence died away at once. Eyes wider than golf balls, he nearly crashed into the sofa behind himself. Sephiroth was dead serious and adamant to glower down into his junior’s frightened eyes, almost piercing right through Cloud’s heart and burrowing into his soul. He’d never felt so much physical harm from a damn stare before, but it was as real as the sun and moon.

While Cloud remained a gaping, mute mass, Sephiroth snapped ferociously, “I won’t let you accuse me of such a thing.” Sneering, his teeth gleamed out at Cloud beneath his lips, giving him a rather feral, sinister look. Cloud wasn’t easily intimidated and warded off, however, but he lowered his gaze a few inches, so they weren’t glaring into each other’s eyes.

“I’m not daunted by you, Cloud,” Sephiroth admitted openly, a malicious grin dancing across his face. “I don’t _need_ to hurt you, but I’m not going to waste time trying to convince you of that.” Shoulders drawn back, he purred, “It’s an unending failure of a sport, and most taxing.”

Cloud knew what he meant, but he wasn’t as trusting, regardless. “You’re being weird,” he pointed out factually. “You’ve never wanted to get close to me enough to do—”

Sephiroth abruptly snatched Cloud’s cheeks in his hands, cupping them as he rammed their foreheads together. It didn’t hurt as much as Cloud thought it would, but he knew the purpose behind the move was to ensure that they were at least turned towards each other. Struggling wouldn’t do well in this situation, so Cloud didn’t even bother while he continuously glared away at Sephiroth’s chest.

Huffing a dry laugh that didn’t depict any humor in the slightest, Sephiroth then inhaled a broken breath. Wavering on the edge of madness, he softly hissed, “It’s not what I want, and it’s not what you want! It’s what our _souls_ want, you idiot.” Pressing his forehead right over the younger male’s, he finished in a pained breath, “You don’t need to do anything in the way you’re fearing. I promise.”

Why was there so much heavy desperation lingering in the air? It gave off a sour odor, and Cloud wasn’t capable of ignoring it. Though he relaxed instantly upon feeling that Sephiroth was sincere and true to his word, he couldn’t help but feel anxious and frightened, still.

Shaking, he rasped, “Will…w-will it be…h-how w-will it happen?”

“I said this once before, and I meant it,” came Sephiroth’s stern tone, followed by him releasing the grip over Cloud’s cheeks. “I won’t do anything without your consent, otherwise, it would end up harming us beyond anything we can imagine.”

What was he even consenting to? Cloud didn’t understand, nor was he courageous enough to venture forth and ask in a clear manner. He did however wish to genuinely find out and participate in this if it didn’t involve actual sex, and if it promised he would feel better.

With that buried deeply in his mind, before he could go back and begin doubting himself, Cloud rushed with making his choice. He wanted and needed to know. Curiosity could only be contained for so long before it bloomed and blossomed in full madness and chaos. He’d held back enough for far too long, and now that he was ‘free’, he was going to seek out the truths and answers to the questions he’d been obsessing over for many days and nights.

Nodding firmly in his will, he resolutely and boldly stated, “Fine. I’m giving my consent, now.”


	17. Freedom Bound in Chains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap. Soul sex, wing kink, all in one. What a lovely day.

“I’m giving you my consent, but don’t you _dare_ do anything that’ll make me take it back.” His hoarse croak breached the midnight stillness, bolstering his own irritation. Peremptorily, Cloud had made himself quite clear, and he never wished to repeat his words again. This was truly disgraceful. To ask Sephiroth to scratch the internal itch that had been plaguing him for many, many nights now…no, he couldn’t even stomach it.

The accelerated heart rate was an after effect of the poisonous remedy Sephiroth had given Cloud. That remedy came in the form of a cold smile, administering Cloud with dizziness and swooning spells. Mystery about the situation no longer plagued the young man but knowing the cause didn’t reduce Cloud’s discomfort of what was to follow.

His pulse was drumming double time. His ribs were bruised so badly from the ‘attack’ that he suspected a few might actually have cracked. A headache pounding hard enough to shatter his skull was keeping a disconcerting counter-rhythm to his racing pulse. The headache had several possible causes, from what he assumed. It might have been a by-product of the red poison itself, the remedy, the magnificent flying trip he’d been mostly awake for, or perhaps it was a memento of any of the continuous blows he’d taken while trying to disable and fend off the Wutai troops and other odd creatures to protect everyone. Maybe months of hardship and battle had finally taken their toll on him, after all.

At this point, Cloud neither knew nor cared about the causes of his pain. All he knew was that he was hurting, terribly. Every inch of his muscular body ached. In less than sixty minutes, he’d been tortured and haunted by what felt like electric shock slamming into his body each and every time he moved or breathed. He’d nearly crumbled and fallen apart in the woods, the Whispers had wanted to take him down, Sephiroth had abducted him, possibly poisoned him, too, and now, his words and his warmth had practically resuscitated Cloud from death. Emotionally and mentally, Cloud was beaten up. That was a lot for anyone to handle, even a well-trained SOLDIER, first and second class, for that matter.

Eyeing his trembling, titubating form, Sephiroth gently released his hold, and instead guided Cloud so he could sit more towards the center of the bed. Without thinking about what he was doing, Cloud viciously yanked his dark sweater off, throwing it to the floor. Next, his pauldrons were gone, and he was far too quick to roll off his gloves, tossing them carelessly to the floor.

Every inch of his skin burned. Everything he touched felt so unbearably warm and sweaty, but he didn’t want to sit there stripping until sheer nudity before Sephiroth. Just the sweater was fine. His entire body felt so sweaty and hot...he wished he were back in his own private room so he could properly cleanse himself with all the hot water for hours and hours until he had scrubbed every inch of himself clean of that... _thing_ that had touched him!

Sephiroth…why wasn’t he saying or doing anything? When Cloud glanced up questioning that silently, he found Sephiroth quirking a thin brow inquisitively at him.

Testily, Cloud snapped flippantly, “What?! The hell do you want, now?”

Gently, Sephiroth informed him, “You don’t need to divest yourself of all your clothes.” Shutting his eyes tightly, his temples seemed to tighten beneath his long mass of hair, no doubt portraying how frustrated he was. “This isn’t what you think, Cloud, and you’re not required to actually do anything but lie back and—”

Sarcastically, Cloud interrupted, “Lie back a-and th-think of what? Midgar? Shinra?” Snorting, he didn’t genuinely find his own joke that humorous, though he couldn’t help but cachinnate at his own sorry state and cachexic future. His giggles and chuckles died down eventually when he noticed he was sitting with his nude chest facing his greatest foe.

How open…how vulnerable. This would prove to be the best chance for Sephiroth to bury his Masamune right into his heart. No armor was there to protect him, and even his suspender straps were pushed down mildly to hang at his hips. So open…

When Sephiroth’s eyes turned dark and stern, Cloud felt his throat and chest constricting, which made it even more difficult to breathe. But, as he studied the older male, his heart pounded erratically, and his pants grew uncomfortably tight in the front. Unbeknownst to even himself, his eyes scanned the trim line of Sephiroth’s body. Jealousy of course lingered and reared its ugly head for a moment, but there was arousal in the middle of it, too. Cloud wished he were as tall and graceful as Sephiroth. At one point in his youth, he remembered he’d even tried growing out his hair…yes, he’d wanted it to be just as long as Sephiroth’s.

But what did he want, now? Searching through the room, first, then over at Sephiroth’s appearance and clothes, Cloud discovered fully that he had no idea. What he most emphatically knew, however, was that there was no denying what was happening to himself.

He was losing his mind. That was what was happening.

Cloud Strife must’ve been going mental, for as he studied Sephiroth from head to toe, he truly knew he should’ve been ashamed of himself. Sephiroth was pleasant to look at, but beyond that, he physically aroused the blonde-haired youth. It was utterly horrible, but it lingered there like a worm niggling and biting at the pit of his stomach.

Sephiroth had always been aesthetically pleasant to the eyes, certainly. But Cloud knew there lay a clear enough distinction between knowing someone was attractive, and then personally _finding_ them attractive. He could look all day and night at someone like Zack, another young man who was well-built, strong, and easy on the eyes, and not at all feel his body heating up with lust as a reaction. However, when it came to looking closely at Sephiroth, even for a split second, Cloud knew he was going crazy with raw lust and lecherous want.

And why?! _Why?!_

Even if he’d somehow ‘woken up’ to a new proclivity enabling him to prefer men as well as women, it _never_ should’ve been with Sephiroth! This wasn’t some athletic young guy exercising and sweating all over in the Wall Market gym he was lusting over! This was god damn _Sephiroth_ , quite possibly the most dangerous and most homicidal, insane man he’d ever met. The lunacy of his attraction to the older male was sheer suicide, but there wasn’t a way to squash it.

At least, not for now. Cloud planned effectively, even in his panicked, lust-filled state. He knew he had to eventually return to his friends. Once he did, and once this issue was fixed, he was going to ask Aerith about a way to break the soul bond, once and for all. He held great faith that somewhere along the line, Sephiroth was again lying to him and purposefully feeding him false information. He trusted his gut, and he was going to lay the foundations of the plan a lot better once this was all over.

Trying not to get too lost in his plans and give them away since he had no idea just how much of his own mental powers were linked to and shared with Sephiroth, Cloud fanned himself with his hands, a rather bizarre and primitive thing to do in order to allow for the air to circulate around himself. He still couldn’t breathe, and thinking he was going to choke immediately, he pushed and pressed on harder.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes as he muttered sardonically, “Keep doing that, if you want, but it won’t do you much good.”

Cloud ignored him, though he nearly fell forward a few times out of breath.

Sephiroth ordered him to lie back, and he found he had no choice but to do so. Limply, Cloud grasped the satin bed sheets with both his hands, shaking and quivering as he fought towards Sephiroth’s instructions. And, Gaia help him, even that dark, predatory side of Sephiroth turned him on. He loved both the menacing, sadistic fighter within Sephiroth and the ruthless protector. He truly loved how he could fluctuate between them with tact and grace, which was the greatest tragedy of it all.

Cloud wondered why Sephiroth wasn’t taking his clothes off for a moment, but then Sephiroth answered snidely while approaching the bed. “Dull young thing; our flesh doesn’t need to connect.”

So his bond-mate didn’t want to go this route; he knew that, and, yet, his heart kept hoping.

Cursing himself as he lay there like a dead fish, Cloud rasped to himself, “This is so insane…you’re in my head, you’re…” Glaring up at the ceiling, he winced, trying to stop himself, but it was already too late. He’d speedily groaned, “C-can you t-tell me what’ll happen?”

Dipping a knee into the mattress, resulting it in weighing down and grunting in protest, Sephiroth paused for a moment. Eyebrows cocked, he inquired, “You want a step-by-step explanation?”

His fingers even felt like they weighed massively, and it took all his strength to get his digits to move and push his light-colored hair way from his eyes. However he managed to do it, he never knew, but once his skin wasn’t tickled by the hair, immediately, Cloud was faced with Sephiroth’s face looming over and above his own.

Cloud felt his chest about to burst. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to take it any longer, for the need to collapse in a sweaty heap was growing stronger and stronger. The more Cloud fought against it, the weaker he grew…just as Sephiroth informed him would happen.

He reached out unconsciously to Sephiroth when the older male pushed his own long hair over his shoulders delicately, clearly not wanting it in the way. Sephiroth stopped all his movements the moment Cloud reached for him, and he peered down at Cloud as he calmly stated, “I’m just trying to make this as easy on you as I can.”

“Please…h-help…” Cloud whimpered, feeling his own salty sweat pooling around himself. He was glad he’d at least had some of his brain left to take off his sweater. Had it remained on, he would’ve melted away into a damn, languescent puddle.

When Sephiroth remained far too silent for his tastes, Cloud weakly inquired, “W-will it h-h-hurt?” He couldn’t believe his voice was his own; it sounded nothing like himself. It was faint, soft, and somewhat high-pitched. He tried breathing through his nose, and he felt he had no power in his lungs as his chest burned and ached. Why was he so scared?! Why was he so pitiful?! Was he _really_ afraid of the pain after all his years spent fighting, training, defending others, and healing his own wounds?!

The flagitious older male above him kept a cold, collected expression as he remained motionless, only observing Cloud. Eventually, he gruffly began, “Will it _hurt?_ Don’t be stupid, you little—” As though catching himself right in the act, Sephiroth bit down on his own egotistical tongue, shook his head a few times, and then clenched his eyes shut tightly. Seemingly counting to ‘three’ mentally, he slowly exhaled a deep sigh before he offered Cloud a penitent glance.

Contritely, he whispered close to his ear, “It won’t hurt, but seeing as it’s the…first time we’re attempting this, it may feel very strange.”

Cloud was worried about what that all implied, but he didn’t have time to lie back and worry about it. Anything was far better in value than dying in whatever lowly way this stupid soul bond was trying to push him to perish in, lest he somehow gave his soul to be connected to Sephiroth’s.

Nodding stiffly, he bit into his own cheeks as he ground out thickly, “O-okay…j-just do it.”

“I know what will help you.”

The words seemed like a heavenly promise descending from the clouds of tender mercy and compassion. Though Cloud didn’t even believe in God or any other deity, right about now, he felt he could worship the ground Sephiroth walked on.

Careful not to touch him, Sephiroth whispered soothingly, “Look at me, please.”

Please? That was a first, especially from someone as vain as Sephiroth. Well, he could do that. Cloud turned his eyes away from a patch in the ceiling, and instead dove into Sephiroth’s slitted green eyes. As their gazes locked, a silent battle of wills ensued. For some peculiar reason, right in the center of Cloud’s forehead, a pushing sensation began. It felt as though someone was pushing and pressing down on his head, but physically, nothing of the sort had happened.

Sephiroth noticed what was going on, and he frowned lightly. “You’re refusing me again,” he explained as he moved to Cloud’s right side. “I can’t do anything unless you relax.”

Though he attempted it again, Cloud knew he somehow must’ve fought back. Sephiroth gave up, and Cloud released a shuddering breath. The older male huffed and gave a terse nod. “As you will, then.” Without further fanfare, Sephiroth rolled onto the empty side of the bed, though he made sure not to physically touch Cloud in the process.

Sputtering in confusion, Cloud whined, “Wh-what’re you doing??!” He winced as the resulting rocking of the mattress jarred his sore body each time Sephiroth shifted. Each of Cloud’s tense muscles felt like they had been put through a cheese grater, accentuating how fundamentally incompatible electricity and the human body was.

Even for a large King-size bed, this one was feeling too small when Sephiroth lay right next to him. When the older, larger male finally settled down, they lay shoulder to shoulder. Cloud didn’t peer over at his bond-mate. Shrewdly, however, he dry-heaved and panted, “Is…is th-this w-what they mean w-when they s-say ‘sleeping w-with th-the enemy?’”

Choosing to ignore that, Sephiroth only took to studying Cloud’s ambivalent face. “You cannot be comfortable like this,” he whispered at last, his form so tense that Cloud felt as if he were sharing the bed with a block of stone.

Of course he wasn’t comfortable. Nothing about this damn situation was ‘comfortable’, and Cloud wasn’t delusional enough to trick himself into even believing that puerile notion for even a second.

Rudely, he blurted out on the edge of impatience, “Just…d-do it. I w-want to g-go.”

Not even blinking, Sephiroth stated, “Fine. But you must trust me, Cloud.”

“Whatever.”

He had no other choice but to trust the demon, even though every inch, molecule and atom in his body screamed and begged him not to. Whatever the One Winged annoyance had to offer, surely was better than death. Though concerned about what Sephiroth was going to do to him, Cloud soon found himself having an odd ‘tug of war’ and inner battle within himself; to trust Sephiroth, or not to trust him. Naturally, he was worried. He remained pretty confident that Sephiroth had never bonded with anyone else before, and for that matter, Cloud knew next to nothing about any of this. His mind and thoughts wanted an opportunity to reach a tersive point so that he could be truly cleansed once again, but he didn’t think it would be possible.

Peeking through his eyelashes at the arm bearing the hateful Geostigma, Cloud wondered whether Sephiroth was able to control and manipulate anyone who had such a mark. What about Jenova? Did any of it connect and link together? Sephiroth had stated that Jenova cells were running rampant within his body. Was that why he’d been able to feel and sense Sephiroth close by, almost without even straining to think about it?

Soon, his body and biology answered his burning questions quickly for him, as logic soon faded away and emotions took over. He was reaching out for Sephiroth before he could stop himself. That hadn’t been part of what was to occur, and he could tell by the way Sephiroth’s breath nervously hitched in his throat. He allowed himself to be half rolled over Cloud, however, though he was careful and mindful not to make any sudden moves.

Panting heavily, Cloud slumped forward, his forehead resting against the older male’s chest. Someone was murmuring something brokenly, and Cloud didn’t want for it to be himself. He was mortified enough as it were, but to pause long enough to reflect on what the words flowing about in the air possibly meant would end him. Burying his face against the sheets, he nearly burst apart when he felt Sephiroth grabbing his arms and wrapping them around his own waist.

True to his word, Sephiroth gently explained everything he was doing. “I’m going to allow you to hold onto me, Cloud,” he began as he moved over Cloud in a quick motion, hovering a few inches away from his torso. Carefully and gently propping a pillow beneath Cloud’s head, Sephiroth looked carefully, no doubt highly alert for any signs of pain or discomfort from his bond-mate. When he couldn’t detect any, one of his large hands reached behind and cradled Cloud’s skull.

“Give it time,” Sephiroth whispered sweetly, almost. “Already, the concoction is working quite well.” Stroking Cloud’s cheek, he grinned in amusement when the younger male mewled and shuddered. “Hmm, I see one touch makes you waver…” Pressing down deeply with his hands over Cloud’s heated face, Sephiroth whispered into his messy hair, “Your self-worth will be greatly reduced.”

Although the working, lucid portion of his inflamed brain took offense to that, Cloud arrived at one conclusion. Whatever Sephiroth was saying, however rude, stupid, and pointless it was, he didn’t want the skilled warrior to ever stop talking. The tone, the quality, and the depth to Sephiroth’s voice was serene, and it was his world, now. Surrendering to them, Cloud felt his eyelids shutting on their own, and he struggled to keep them open as he felt the older male’s hands moving over his chest and up to his forehead.

Pausing, Sephiroth elucidated smoothly, “I won’t touch you beyond this…not physically.” With that stated, he brushed back a hair strand away from his junior’s eyes, gazing into Cloud’s Mako-infused eyes before he lowered his hand back down to his abdomen.

“Please…”

Sephiroth gently raised his right hand and offered it before Cloud’s weary eyes. Straining, Cloud could only watch, feeling paralyzed all over as Sephiroth caressed his face. Something was terribly wrong. Cloud’s imagination ran wild, and before he knew it, he was somehow thinking of Sephiroth’s lone wing. He found he liked to picture it here, elegantly sprouting from between Sephiroth’s right shoulder blade gloriously. He imagined it as he’d always seen it; large, powerful, yet delicate and soft, much like its owner. Teetering on the edge of implosion, Cloud imagined the wing towering far above the angel’s head, tall enough to shield anything lucky enough to be wrapped within its grasp.

Almost moaning in pleasure, Cloud pictured the feathers as they were, a coal black, with shimmers of darker purples and blues when the light played tricks on his eyes. Long and fragile, bordered by ever so soft, downy feathers. Shockingly and brazenly, he was thinking of running his fingers through each feather, feeling the almost water-like smoothness underneath his callused palms. He imagined ruffling them, only to groom them back into place. He could’ve sworn he almost felt the gentle slide of the tips against his lips, caressing, but not quite tickling his cheeks.

Cloud limply rested his head against Sephiroth’s chest, feeling himself about to black out. Not allowing that, the silver-haired male gripped his chin strongly in his hand and forced Cloud to look into his eyes. The moment their eyes sharply met, Cloud felt a warm feeling creep its way in his stomach.

“Numbness and an out of body experience may come to you,” Sephiroth elucidated didactically, as though giving a lecture in a sangfroid composure as opposed to speaking intimately with a bond-mate.

Cloud didn’t care much. In his own creative mind, he had long escaped. He knew he couldn’t break away from Sephiroth’s penetrating, sapiential gaze, so he instead conjured and dove into his imagination regarding the beauty of Sephiroth’s wing. He could see it now…when Sephiroth was relaxed and poised, his wing folded and relaxed behind his back. It would remain that way if Cloud wanted it to. In fact, he needed for that to transpire. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful sight? The prospect of Sephiroth wandering about, conducting daily, quotidian activities with his wing extended shamelessly was an invigorating and breathtaking token. 

Spectacular in its own right, he would let it hang at his back as he perhaps sat down to read a book. Of course, he probably already knew the words and contents by heart. Cloud envisioned the wing tense and rigid as Sephiroth became frustrated, whether it be at Cloud himself, or some other circumstance. He imagined the entire length broad, and the span of feathers wide, embracing the overlooked power that it contained as its owner prepared for a battle.

Swimming in the burning thoughts, Cloud envisioned the great wing puffed and pinned back defensively, perhaps when Sephiroth became flustered or embarrassed. He mused over the thought of the feathers spread out and quivering, the jerky, saccadic motions enchanting while Sephiroth used his wing to explore the never-ending sky for hours.

But what else could it be used for? For pleasure? Pain?

Curiously, Cloud took to imagining himself running his hands along the flesh of Sephiroth’s pale back, stopping and pressing down just above the place he thought the wing would extend out from. He suspected that if he ever did, the One Winged Angel would surely know his intentions. Sephiroth was so clever. Sephiroth would welcome the touches, and he would seem to melt under Cloud’s fingertips. This led Cloud into constant wonderment on what reaction he would get if he could actually touch the wing.

Would it be sensitive? Hoping so, Cloud could already see Sephiroth arching beautifully from the mere brush of his thumb along the base of his wing. He contemplated the thought of burying his hands in the feathers, lightly dragging his fingernails down the velvet skin lying beneath. The sound of Sephiroth’s breath hitching in his head sent a flutter of warm excitement to Cloud’s lower belly.

He was thinking about asking for this, for the chance to see more of Sephiroth than he ever had before, but the youth couldn’t help but expect that he would be rejected. Mocking would no doubt follow, as would abasement and degradation. Sephiroth was great at putting people down, and he would shoot the idea away rather than even hear it. Maybe an angel’s wings indeed were something incredibly sacred, and the event of a small, dirty human seeing and touching them would be dishonorable.

Eyeing him with tedium hanging in his eyes, Sephiroth growled, “Your thoughts are distant from me. How have you managed this?” Though he didn’t appear to genuinely want to know, he pressed his forehead into Cloud’s, resulting in the blonde male to cry out in fear.

“N-no, please…”

He didn’t understand what the actual hell he was doing or asking for, but his heart burned the most in a particular spot. Unable to locate the real source of the pain, he didn’t know why or how, he just knew he had to get Sephiroth to touch him there before he died for sure.

“Silence.” Sephiroth’s cold breath hit Cloud’s nose, and he closed his eyes, crying and whimpering softly.

Listening and examining him under quite the close watch, Sephiroth announced simply, as though talking to a child as opposed to a twenty-one-year-old adult, “You will see many odd things, but they’re not real. It’s just our souls, our essences, and everything we’ve experienced sifting through. Do not panic.”

With one last whimper, Cloud ceased the sounds he was making at once, and the older ex-SOLDIER grinned coldly. Cloud felt his arms being tugged upwards with Sephiroth’s free hand, and as he peeked through half-lidded eyelids, he saw his lips inches away…

His head snapped back as he was back in _Seventh Heaven_ , a quiet, peaceful night just like any other. Tifa giggled, preparing him a drink while one of Aerith’s lovely flowers rested in a vase on the counter. Old music played in the background while the rain prattled against the windows, soaking them as if the world was an underwater aquarium. He’d tasted his first drink in months, and his mouth watered as he felt the liquid go down his throat, past his tongue and lips.

Suddenly, that was all gone, moving somewhere to the back of his mind, perhaps. Something tickled his face, and as he tried swatting at it, he saw fireflies, butterflies, and large, dark moths circling himself. It’d been their tiny wings pressing against his cheeks. Was he ten? Five? He didn’t know. He was chasing the insects, reaching out for them with his small fingers. He would chase and chase them, but in the end, they would always escape.

Somewhere, perhaps in another world, Sephiroth was speaking to him. His body tingled, and he bit down on his lower lip when the feeling increased from his body to his mind. His brain felt numb, and it felt so damn good. He wasn’t able to think; he was only able to see.

He saw himself floating, moving along the streets of Sector 7 with Wedge and Jessie. They made him laugh, dancing about him until Jessie was in his arms. Her warm limbs wrapped around his neck, and she was trying to plant a kiss on his cheek. That memory broke away, but in its place, something foul rammed into him. It held him firmly, and the feeling of floating shot through Cloud’s skull. He began writhing in a mixture of pain and pleasure while Sephiroth held onto him tightly, making sure his skull wasn’t bashing against anything that could cause him harm.

Nearly pressing his chest down over Cloud’s, the more experienced male hissed hotly at him, “We’re about to become one, Cloud. Can you feel it? Hmm?” Teasingly, almost, he grinned into Cloud’s hair as he rasped ardently, “Can you feel how I’ve overpowered and conquered you, turning you into the little puppet you were meant to always be?”

Cloud felt himself drooling as his body was taken apart and put back together. His skin turned completely white, and then became flushed. Thrashing, he felt an ethereal pressure weighing down on his sternum, and it nearly smothered him. When he kicked up, Sephiroth shoved him back, a firm hand placed right over his heart.

“Don’t…”

Instinctively, Cloud reached forth blindly, and he immediately found Sephiroth’s hand. Wrapping his own hand around Sephiroth’s, they held hands tightly, fingers interwoven.

Was this what it felt like to be reborn? He was falling and floating high above, his ears popping from the air pressure, but whenever they did, he giggled and writhed around more. This was addictive… _this was_ utmost pleasure.

With a broken glare, Sephiroth panted strenuously, “Yes…you’re not resisting me, now. Good.”

Tiny phantasms danced around Cloud, and he could see them even when he closed his eyelids. It was his soul, it had to have been his soul! Would he be able to touch it? Behind closed eyes, he sought out after it, imagining it there like a star high above in the sky…closer, closer…inches away from making contact…

Something exploded, and at once, he heard Sephiroth’s voice echoing as it chimed through and through in the center of his eardrums.

_“Mother…we meet at last, Mother…”_

He sounded…so happy…so relieved…

There was another voice, then, and as Cloud focused on it, he knew it had to be Zack.

_“Sephiroth! Have you completely lost your mind?!”_

Tremors shook him, then, and the image of Jenova appeared like a bolt of lightning across the dark sky. Gone in a nanosecond, the ripples forming after its disappearance rendered Cloud’s bones brittle, and his skin much like jelly.

_“Sephiroth! I trusted you!!”_

Now, even Zack was too far away.

Sephiroth must’ve somehow been pushing and guiding these memories unto him, and as he held onto Cloud, he called out to him, “Do you see? Do you see, now?”

Cloud knew he was experiencing something…many things at once, to be precise, and most of them weren’t human experiences. The galaxies spun around him. Or perhaps he was spinning around in them. A white presence accompanied him as he saw the phantasms land on his skin, coating his entire body in them before they flew off into the air. He felt ticklish all over after they’d touched him, but it was coming from inside, and it soon felt like his mind was ticklish.

Though he tried fighting the newest thoughts off, he was too weak to challenge them. A hand was gliding along his upper torso, weaving its way between his breasts before touching a hardened nipple. The hand was caressing his abdomen, next, softly pulling at the bits of hair closer to the waistline of his pants.

None of it was real…none of it was real…

Voice slightly hoarse, Sephiroth bellowed to him, “It’s…begun!”

A full force slammed into Cloud at once, tugging and pulling him, forcing its way in and out of him as he only closed his eyes and submitted. Something within drew greedily, nibbling at bits of his soul, and the sensation soon brought on the onslaught of satisfaction. The feeling soon turned into a fading, dull itch, only to be built and replaced by another feeling. More tugging, and he felt like his head was going to burst, and his body would no doubt explode.

Unsure of when his hands traveled from Sephiroth’s arms up to weave around his neck, he tugged himself up into the sturdy length of the older male. Not a hair strand’s width was left between their bodies; all semblances of space and distance were completely eradicated.

It was as if he’d been pulled back and forth in a tug of war between two dimensions, and Cloud didn’t want either of them to win and have him. Dropping his hands to Sephiroth’s broad shoulders for a moment, he quivered, nearly loosening his hold. Sephiroth didn’t move, but as the unseen force enveloped both men, Cloud found purchase even tighter around Sephiroth’s neck. Head falling into the juncture between the vafrous One Winged Angel’s neck and right shoulder, Cloud moaned loudly, not caring if anyone heard them, for no one was there at all; just stars and space.

Instead of fleeing, he gave himself into the eager feeling to belong, trying to desperately grasp onto the feeling of possessiveness striking him down.

Wrenching his arms away from Cloud, Sephiroth fought like he’d been wading through frozen, hardened mud. Almost in slow motion, his right arm traveled up to Cloud’s temple, and once a few of his fingers touched the blonde’s temple, Cloud’s eyes snapped wide open.

More images poured forth, but these weren’t memories. They’d never happened, but perhaps they were enough for Cloud and Sephiroth’s soul bond. Cloud saw his own lips connecting with Sephiroth’s, the scene entirely devoid of any color or distinction. His body was half draped over Sephiroth’s lap, while his hands were busy running through the ever so long locks of silver hair. Evidently, it wasn’t enough for Cloud in this vain imagining. He inched closer to his bond-mate’s body, and hungrily, he bit down hard on Sephiroth’s lower lip.

In turn, Sephiroth’s fingers were sliding down his flat stomach, past his abdomen, and they made his flesh dissolve into the air as they did. The tingling feeling returned to Cloud while he watched. Pliant on the mattress, he moaned and dug his fingers even deeper into Sephiroth’s shoulders.

The scene had shifted to a more perverse, salacious one, now. Both Cloud and Sephiroth were nearly completely nude, struggling for dominance over a dark bed. Cloud’s head snapped back, and his face was contorting into one of sheer pleasure as Sephiroth’s mouth sucked and bit at his throat. Even his needy cries seemed so real. One last high-pitched groan escaped Cloud both within the scene and outside it as he saw Sephiroth’s lips tear away from the white pallor of his neck, before coming back down on his lips one more time. Bold in the oragious scene, Cloud couldn’t stop himself from stroking the lower lip with his tongue before Sephiroth’s lips were gone.

He felt phantom limbs wrap around his, engulfing and smothering him in an invisible blanket. He could only close his eyes and loosen his hold, his fingers and arms going limp as his legs caved in. This time, to be dizzy was a warm, fuzzy feeling. Cloud fell back down roughly, his heart and stomach jolting in the way they normally would whenever he woke up from a horrible nightmare. He was coming undone one seam at a time, and he felt his limbs being pulled in multiple directions as his body shook with pleasure.

He poured himself into the claim of possessive memories, and the feeling akin to a climax exploded around him, finally. Pleasure overpowered and overwhelmed him, racing across his skin and lifting hairs, but finally settling in his chest. Everything brought him down, all the feelings and sensations compressed there into one singular moment…

Sephiroth must’ve experienced the same thing. However, throughout it all, he remained distant, composed, and far too focused. His voice never betrayed him as Cloud’s had, nor did his hold depict that he was suffering, or experiencing the best kind of pleasure. Only a faint grunt, followed by a soft gasp alerted Cloud to the fact that Sephiroth had felt some sort of a release.

Light flooded his vision, but Cloud welcomed it. A small, white light flickered for a second before the darkness returned again, consuming him. He couldn’t move, but he knew he was somehow…awake and conscious…he could sense his skin tingling, and it soon began feeling lighter and lighter, as if it were made of feathers. He wanted to gaze down at it, actually partially hopeful that his skin had turned into a pile of feathers...

He felt light inside, and the feeling soon expanded to his outer body, the feeling of lightness and floating pulling him in strange directions…he was coming apart and being put back together quickly, and he couldn’t even witness it to enjoy it.

The darkness was overpowering everything, but the little white light he’d seen before was flickering a few times. It seemed so far away, but he knew he was attracted to it, and he wanted to see it up close. He wanted to hold it, touch it…let it light his skin in the darkness.

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything except feel himself frozen as his eyes were transfixed to one spot, and he followed the small light anytime it moved. It wasn’t leading him anywhere except through more areas of darkness. It still made him feel youthful and playful, and he had only one desire: to follow it and never lose sight of it.

The tremors went on and on, sliding around him before they were hitting him, becoming a part of him. It really felt like his DNA was turning into scrambled eggs. Every bit of himself tingled so much that he wanted to tear his limbs completely away from his torso and rearrange them piece-by-piece...perhaps then he would feel so free and fine...

He’d never felt so disoriented and disconnected from himself before, and the feeling made him more euphoric than he’d ever felt before. He just wanted to burst into a million tiny, colorful pieces and set himself on fire until he had become ash…nothing would please him more than that, and he felt his skin tingling and burning the closer he got to the little white light. Maybe it would ignite and burn him from the inside out! He would be reborn...all he had to do was reach out and touch it...

The light disappeared just then. Cloud was able to see it lingering above himself for a second before it came crashing down on the top of his head. It exploded into many pieces, the sparks and bits raining down on Cloud’s head like tinsel or glitter. He didn’t feel anything except pure bliss and affection for the little stars and sparks as they fizzed and flew about in the dark before they too died out. One-by-one, they were snuffed out as they fell back to the dark floors, and he was soon drenched and left alone in that dark void he’d found himself in.

Soon, the darkness turned into a brightness so vast and white that it seemed he’d flown directly into the surface of the sun…he tried shielding and closing his eyes from the potent power it gave off, but he was unable to tear his eyes away from the sight that stood before himself…

“S-Sephiroth?”

He gripped his head, still feeling the pain there, but it wasn’t like before; everything had drastically subsided. No headaches, no commotion, no tightness in his chest, no labored, strenuous breathing, no signs of death or a heart attack looming. Things were much calmer for both men. Cloud was able to tell that even Sephiroth was more relaxed as he eased himself away from his junior and sat on the bed next to Cloud. Whatever they’d gone through had lifted a substantial weight off their shoulders. This had been the key to their success…their…liberation…

His heartbeat was regular and normal, his lungs were taking in plenty of healthy gulps of fresh air. His limbs were his own, feeling fine and clearly feeling pain whenever he did crazy stupid shit to them. He was himself, again.


	18. Tiger Fangs

Time was somehow irrelevant to Sephiroth, and perhaps to Jenova. Cloud noticed that right after his exchange with the vagarious silver-haired warrior, as when Sephiroth had returned him to Wutai Village, not much time seemed to have elapsed since their departure. The sun had set, of course, but it appeared that the only change was present with the heavy rain having died down to a faint drizzle.

Scratching his head, a dumbfounded Cloud wondered out loud, “How long were we gone?”

Scouring the area, Sephiroth brushed his uniform off daintily. Voice neutral and face betraying not a single emotion, he answered sharply, “An hour, here.”

“Shit, felt like all night,” Cloud concluded softly. Spinning around, he looked at the sky, the ground, the grass, and the lights shining and beaming from the Wutai shops, various establishments, and spas. Everything had remained just the same; there was no trickery to be found, here.

Holding his arms about himself, Cloud ventured curiously, “Do you think anyone noticed I was gone?”

“Unlikely,” Sephiroth replied as he stared off randomly to the side. “Time spent in the after-realms of Ancients isn’t the same as your own, Cloud.”

Catching on, Cloud stated, “So, two hours here could be a few minutes over there?” Pointing at the sky, he hoped he was on the right track.

A curt nod from Sephiroth told him he was. “Correct,” the silver-haired warrior orated fittingly as his eyes remained focused on the tops of thick trees. “You best go, now. It is late.”

The trite statement didn’t leave Cloud with positive feelings, strangely. What sort of departure was this? He still had questions for Sephiroth, and now that time was short and privacy wasn’t readily available at any given moment, Cloud had to orchestrate the conversation in the most efficient way possible.

“W-wait a minute,” he cried after Sephiroth, and to his unmitigated surprise, the taller ex-SOLDIER actually paused midway through walking back into the line of thick trees.

Clearly peeved, Sephiroth moodily threw out, “What is it, now?”

Blushing, Cloud felt even more nervous to say a word. How could he in the midst of the conglomeration of nasty, conflicting confusion and odd emotions? He’d often heard of some young bandits and ruffians lingering within the slums and outskirts of various sectors sometimes boasting about ‘one-night stands’ and the like. Perhaps this was indeed one of them, but while the other young men bragged in their vainglory about how amazing they felt, Cloud knew the opposite lay waiting for himself.

There was nothing fantastic about opening up to Sephiroth, and although nothing sexually intimate had occurred, due to the deeper, stronger levels of their chiefly unique bond, he couldn’t help but also sense that somehow, they’d grown even further apart than before. Their aberrant act served to propitiate the deviant requirements of the strange bond, but nothing else remained. It was quite bizarre…wasn’t any kind of intimacy supposed to drive couples closer together? Why was it placing an even greater barrier between Sephiroth and himself, now?

Realizing that Sephiroth had been waiting on him, Cloud got down to his questions succinctly. Though he didn’t wish to think on what had transpired between himself and Sephiroth, he softly inquired with a mild blush painting his cheeks, “W-will uhh…that stuff happen again?”

Sephiroth gave a curt nod. “Of course. That’s how the bond progresses.” Rolling his shoulders back, he stepped around Cloud, pushing and toying with a few stones and gravel with his dark boots.

Chewing his lower lip, Cloud took a moment before he rasped, “Err, how m-many more t-times will we have to do that?” As he’d pushed this odd inquiry out, he knew how odd and silly this was. To make matters even more uncomfortable, Sephiroth was acting like a shy teenager, not once meeting his eyes or acknowledging him in any other way.

Clearing his throat, Sephiroth orated smarmily, “I don’t have a list prepared, Cloud. All I know is that because of what we did, we will both start to feel a compulsion to be kinder and gentler towards one another.”

Like lovers…though Sephiroth never said that, he didn’t need to. The damn implications were there all the same, like a foul odor lingering in the air.

Weakly, Cloud recapitulated, “We’ll be _nice_ to each other?” The idea was…repulsive and detestable. Picturing Sephiroth wooing him with chocolates, flowers, and a whole other assortment of gifts while singing songs of praise wasn’t an idea Cloud was willing to accept or get used to. There was just _no_ way that was ever happening. 

Sephiroth drawled softly, “It’s the second stage. The third stage is vaguer than the second one.”

Hesitating for a second, Cloud decided there was no benefit in defiance and gave up trying to ignore the conversation. “Which is?”

Looking as though he wanted to end his own life, Sephiroth cuttingly spat, “We’ll start to know each other’s emotions.” The resolute horror in the older male’s tone matched precisely what Cloud was feeling as he heard him say it.

Shuddering deeply, Cloud felt panic rise within himself. “Oh, shit…”

“Exactly. And it gets worse.” Hair falling in his eyes, Sephiroth made no move to brush the strands away as he continued. “We’ll eventually be able to share each other’s power.” Mildly appalled at that, Sephiroth added, “You will need to learn a great deal about control by then, otherwise, you’ll ruin us both, much faster than I already anticipate you shall.”

Pointing at himself, Cloud squeaked in shock, “I’ll ruin us both?! What the hell?!”

The nerve. He now thought he knew precisely why Sephiroth had been raving on and on about a soul bond in the first place. The pieces had been quite obscure to him before, but now, Cloud see the light of day. This was Sephiroth’s way of obtaining his strength, and more than likely using Cloud’s essence, now that he had him tied down to himself, all for a chance at rebirth, control, and total domination.

A fatal error. How he’d not been able to foresee such a gruesome, ghastly thing looming right before his own eyes truly baffled Cloud. He’d fought so long and so very hard for what? To walk right into Sephiroth’s arms, life, and most recently, his damn bedroom. Of all stupid things…he’d _really_ been duped, and if Aerith’s words and information regarding soul bonds was true, if he even dared to try and break free of this, he would die before he had a chance to save all of Gaia, Midgar, and his friends.

The plan no doubt would work in Sephiroth’s favor. Whatever Cloud gained, learned, obtained, whatever talents he accrued, all of it belonged to Sephiroth as well, now. They were quite literally becoming two halves of one whole sum, and separation seemed to overwhelm Cloud, especially. How was he to survive on his own, now?!

“You son of a bitch,” Cloud began in a biting snarl. Shaking viciously, it took all his self-control not to lunge at Sephiroth. God, he wanted to gouge the taller ex-SOLDIER’s eyes out with his fingernails, if he could. Still, that probably wouldn’t satisfy his needs when it came to craving for revenge.

Pointing at Sephiroth in an accusatory manner, Cloud roared, “You tricked me! You asshole! You set me up!”

Sephiroth gave him a completely disbelieving look. “I thought you’d be a lot happier, Cloud,” he almost pressed out in a dull, bored tone. Scoffing, he stood even taller as he stated plainly, “I’m a lot stronger, so I can already control my power, as well as my emotions. If you relied on me, you’d become a lot stronger, too.”

“You’re so full of shit, Sephiroth,” Cloud muttered as he roughly shook his head. Cloud however didn’t want Sephiroth to see him break apart. He knew the sadistic monster got off on shit like that, and he wasn’t going to be the stupid ‘puppet’. Forcing himself to smirk cruelly at his bond-mate, Cloud hoped that all his impotent feelings were hidden away.

Holding up a hand, he laughed unctuously, “You know what’s funny? I can’t say I’ve ever noticed that you could control that temper of yours, Sephiroth.” Before Sephiroth could get a word in, Cloud added with malice, “Sooo, good luck with your so-called strength, there.”

Eyes turning into narrow slits, Sephiroth toxically fired out, “Between the both of us, I think it’s been proven time and time again who is much stronger and wiser, Cloud.”

Nonchalantly, Cloud shot back, “Didn’t seem that way when I gutted you the first time.”

“You attacked me when my back was turned and my attention was elsewhere,” Sephiroth snorted as he shook his head. “Hardly a fair battle, wouldn’t you agree?”

Moodily, Cloud retorted swiftly, “Doesn’t matter, still killed you.”

“And as you can see, I’m here with you, now.”

Cloud was scrambling to spit out something rude and appalling, but Sephiroth beat him by a mile. Tipping his head to one side, his snarky tone declaimed, “Unlike yourself, I have the immortal wherewithal to sabotage a fuse or two and really…” Eyes turning malicious and twisted in his usual way, he conducted himself distantly and aloof as usual. “…You have _no_ power and _no_ say in this matter, Cloud. Remember?”

Well. That was an insult formed and phrased in quite an elegant way, if Cloud had ever heard one. He was really starting to despise how easily Sephiroth could get on his damn nerves without even needing to result to harsh words and foul language.

Deciding to instead tackle the overwhelming, pressing matter of the stages of the soul bond that would now plague himself, Cloud sourly grunted, “Whatever. Just because we’re going to be all nice with each other, doesn’t mean we will like each other.”

Glaring angrily at his boots, Sephiroth commented, “Correct. I don’t know what else will happen, but I imagine since you’re surrounded by young females, you can understand certain aspects of romanticism far more than I ever will.”

Cloud bit his tongue roughly. He knew Sephiroth was trying to demean and insult him once again, so he hid back in his own half-amused thoughts. If Sephiroth was somehow suggesting he was an infamous womanizer of some sort, then he would be truly disappointed in his own ignorance.

 _‘What would I know about romantic crap? I haven’t been in relationships before…or a single marriage,’_ Cloud asserted and mused to himself. Evilly, as his foe paced about in his ambivalence, Cloud took one quick glance at Sephiroth before he haughtily thought, _‘Oh well. It’s not like he knows anything, either. He’s as big of a virgin as I am.’_

Spinning himself around halfway, Sephiroth hissed caustically, “I heard that, Cloud.”

Chin jutting out defiantly, Cloud crossed his arms over his chest and sighed out, “Did you? Good. That was the whole point.”

Snarling as he spun himself on his heels, Sephiroth was already storming away. Chasing after him quickly, Cloud breathed out reluctantly, “Wait a sec!!”

As Sephiroth halted, though he hadn’t turned to face the youth, Cloud cleared his throat, symbolizing that he was going to speak.

Sephiroth waited, but for some reason, Cloud wasn’t able to get his words out. How could he? How could he stand there and tell Sephiroth that he actually _enjoyed_ feeling the tiny electrical currents dancing and gliding over and under his skin when their memories and thoughts had mingled? How could he even begin to piece together vocally that he felt alive again, reborn, clean, fresh, and years younger? How was he going to work up the courage to ask for more?!

There was just no way. His barriers and reservations intercepted, the diversion probably a blessing in disguise. He’d already embarrassed himself enough.

Dumbly, Cloud only sputtered, “L-look…”

“I’m looking,” Sephiroth curtly announced, though he wasn’t genuinely looking in Cloud’s direction.

Cringing, Cloud enunciated, “Listen!”

Growling mordantly, Sephiroth sighed, “I’m listening, and I don’t hear anything.” Turning away from him, Sephiroth headed into the forest deeply. Before his frame completely disappeared, however, he faintly called out, “When the time arrives, I’ll be at your side, Cloud. You’ll know, because you’ll feel my presence near.”

Cloud knew he was right. Sephiroth was always right about everything. As much as he wanted to shirk this off as an isolated case, it wasn’t going to prove fruitful, from the looks of it. The strange malady would likely take hold over him, again, and a lot sooner now that they’d allowed the soul bond to progress along its natural course.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud was famished, physically. Though his ‘soul’, or ‘essence’, as Sephiroth called and referred to it had been satiated for the time being, physically, he was starving. The next morning, he devoured all the breakfasts he could. It still wasn’t enough, but he was told that later on that evening, there would be a grand feast, and the Wutai leader Godo Kisaragi was finally ready to welcome Avalanche properly since they would be joining together to form an allegiance.

They were spoiled by the Wutai nation, no doubt. The vast majority of the inhabitants rushed about from building to building, making sure the bathhouses were up and running just fine, checking the guest rooms, the spas, the public and private pools, as well as finishing the afternoon’s set of activities by decorating a grand dining hall in the center of the village.

When the members of Avalanche had been called to dinner, they all found that it was a most glorious, rapturous sight. Flags of bright colors stood tall, dancing and churning about in the wind. Fireworks blasted off, and a large array of dancers and performances accompanied the scenic view as they all took their seats.

The hall housed nearly one hundred diners, but they were of a higher social standing. The men and women were dressed in fancy, expensive clothes that reflected the mollitious lifestyle and luxurious bounties they’d had showering and raining down over their heads for decades. The lavish tables had been stacked with food Cloud had scented cooking and roasting in the air since the late morning, but the odors were nothing in comparison to how the meals had been presented.

The top tier and brands of utensils, plates, and décor lit and stacked up along windowsills, the ceiling, and the walls through and through. Golden and orange sashes were draped over the chairs and benches. Row by row, those to be dining within the large hall that night filed in, taking their designated seats with gentle words. Things were pleasant and amicable, as greetings were exchanged, and words of praise chimed out.

Cloud found that a special table had been reserved at the very front of the room for Avalanche. They were the guests of honor, and their seats had been organized to sit around Yuffie and Zor. Between them both was an extraordinary grand seat, diamonds and jewels glimmering and shining brightly, embedded within the oak wood.

No doubt, Godo would be seated there, facing the rest of the hall. Cloud could perfectly capture the sight and image of the Wutai leader seated at the head table, pointing out his majestic treasures for his people to celebrate and feel happy over. Today, too, as usual, the guests would end up at the tea house right next to the theater after the large feast. Unlike the damage sustained all over Sectors 5 and 7, the Wutai Nation appeared to be managing on their own just fine. The sharp, brisk laughter of the guests was raw. Cigarette smoke danced in the air as men inhaled deeply from their pipes. Sweets and tea were served along with slices of fruits, no doubt as appetizers.

The types of caritative food served after, almost floating in on top of tray stacks consisted of roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops, lamb chops, sausages, bacon, steak, and kidney pie. Side dishes included a neat array of boiled potatoes, roasted potatoes, mashed potatoes, chips, dumplings, pudding, peas, and carrots, all perhaps to be served with gravy and ketchup. For dessert, there were blocks of assorted ice cream, apple pies, chocolate gateau, treacle tart, pumpkin tart, chocolate éclairs and jam doughnuts, strawberries, jelly, and rice pudding.

There was far too much food for one person to eat, and as Cloud wondered how much of it would go to waste, the dining hall died down to a soft whisper. A pin dropping would no doubt go off like a bomb. Everyone stood to attention as Godo Kisaragi finally made his entrance.

Godo was a middle-aged man wearing a sleeveless blue kimono with a black trim, held closed by a white sash. Under the kimono, Godo wore sandals and a white robe with longer sleeves. He had long, black hair, a long mustache, and a short beard. He walked with a purpose, and as his guards accompanied him to his rightful seat, treating it much like escorting a King to his throne, all eyes were on the Wutai leader.

Eyes scouring every inch of the dining hall, Godo stood mighty and proud. As everyone held their breath, he finally nodded, and they took to their seats. After every person in the room was seated, Godo sat down as well, though he seemed not to be in any hurry to eat. Instead, he gestured at Avalanche, and as he scowled at them monstrously, one by one, his low, thunderous growl emanated from his chest.

“Tonight, we are with friends,” he began, his ventose voice the very essence and definition of raw force. His eyes sharply gazed at Cloud, and before the youth looked away, he saw something shiny twinkling within those dark orbs.

Slowly grinning, Godo continued boisterously. “Remember, strength without determination means nothing, and determination without strength is equally useless.” Holding his head high, he ignored his daughter while she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Small wrinkles forming in the corners of his eyes gave Godo a sapient, mythical sort of appearance that sat well with any great leader. Through his time, he’d perhaps been a strong warrior, Cloud supposed. He’d no doubt accrued plenty of experience, and if one were to engage in a private conversation with Godo Kisaragi, they could expect to learn plenty.

Almost boastfully, the older leader crowed, “I know we are even more prepared now to go against Shinra with Avalanche at our side.”

The patrons and denizens all cheered at this, while Tifa, Aerith, and Zack looked troubled.

Tapping on his glass of red wine, Godo cried a cacophony of praise backed by his people. As they all clapped and chirked him on, this fed into his pride and ego. Cheeks rosy, he tipped his head back and sang to the ceiling, “Rufus Shinra will be no more! Have not a single doubt, my friends!” Lowering his arms, he pointed at Avalanche. “Together, we are stronger than we once were, and I will personally see to it that the Shinra Government pays for all the horrors they’ve forced us to suffer through.”

Softly, Yuffie sighed, hiding her face behind the palm of her hand. It appeared that she didn’t agree with what her father was saying. The less than amenable ebony-haired female huffed something under her breath, but for the most part, it was inaudible and incoherent with all the hooting, clapping, and canorous cheering echoing off the walls and ceiling.

Calming his people down, with a large smile covering half his face, Godo raised his right hand, though this time, with his glass of wine. “For Avalanche! A toast to friendship, new and old!”

A hundred cups flew into the air, high and proud. Inhaling sharply, Godo took the first sip, and then, the Wutai people followed suit. Their roars became deafening, but not to a point where Cloud felt deterred from eating and enjoying himself.

Following Godo’s welcoming speech, all the diners within the grand, eloquent dining hall set to eat. Godo sat next to his daughter, and right beside her, Zor took his rightful spot as opposed to sitting previously on the other side of her father. Since the members of Avalanche were trusted openly, they were already eating and engaging in their own light chatter. Everyone was beyond starved, it seemed, and Cloud especially wasted no time gathering as much food as his eyes could see while he settled himself right beside Tifa.

The dinner consisted of a lovely, peaceful round of conversations. People whispered and laughed joyously in their own ways, no doubt recollecting fond memories or jokes. The tables and food loomed large, and it was beyond exaggeration. The head table especially was stacked with plenty of lavish food, excessive as Godo’s personality was. There were at least eight different dishes set before him, mostly consisting of: chicken, veal, pork, ham, turkey, and roasted duck. The salads were greener than anything anyone had ever seen, and berries and vegetables decorated them in extravagant patterns all over the plates.

Red humbly sat adjacent to Yuffie, and every once in a while, he would try and grab her attention. The friendly creature seemed to be drawn to her, and he would often stare at her with an unusual sort of fondness in his eyes. No one noticed it for some time, as everyone was far too busy eating and relaxing. Aerith and Zack cuddled and shared small bites of their meal, while Tifa played with her gloves, her hair, and would sneak in a few shy glances at Cloud.

When Red cleared his throat as he beamed at Yuffie once more, Barret quickly caught on to what he was up to. Deciding to pick on his friend, a churlish Barret winked at the scene and elbowed Zack. “Hey, looks like Red’s got a crush!”

Zack sputtered in shock, scratching away at the ‘x’ scar down on his left jaw, while Red’s sharp ears twitched as soon as he heard his name being called. Raising his head to attention, while Yuffie and Zor talked quietly together, Red hissed in a warning at Barret.

Snickering evilly, Barret commented, “Aha! See? What’d I tell ya, Zack?!” Taunting Red further, he gasped, “Red’s got a serious crush on the Princess!!”

Zack shuddered, and when Aerith peeked over at them, she smirked. Propping a hand beneath her chin and gazing fondly about, she whispered, “What’s going on, you guys?”

“Nothing!” Red snapped quickly, swallowing and gulping down his embarrassment. “Barret’s being stupid, but that’s an art form to him and one of the _only_ talents he has!”

Wagging a thick finger back and forth, Barret reproached testily, “Don’t think so, Red! Gotta admit that _you_ like Wutai’s Princess!” Lost in his amused guffaws, he pushed around a slice of fresh chicken breast, the steam rising from his plate and fogging up his sunglasses.

“Eww!” Aerith shrieked, pulling a disgruntled face, while Zack shuddered and looked appalled by the idea.

Curiously, little Marlene, who’d been seated next to her father the entire time, paused midway through eating some corn and carrots. Wiping her lips with a napkin daintily, she blinked and innocently asked, “Daddy, what’s a crush?”

Freezing when he remembered his daughter was right there, Barret chuckled in blatant discomfort. Leaning over his daughter, he gently covered her ears with both his arms so she wouldn’t be able to hear the rest of the conversation. “N-nothing, sweetie!” he laughed again while nodding at her plate. “Finish up your vegetables!”

Seething at the accusation, Red’s ears drew back, and he revealed his sharp fangs row by row at Barret. Claws unsheathed, he warned viciously, “Knock it off, you big lug! I don’t look at her that way!”

Waving him off, Barret snootily threw back, “Nah, you’re just lookin’ at her, daydreamin’ about her. We get it, Red.”

“Bleh!” Zack coughed, stirring about noodles and rice in the two bowls set before himself. Pulling a moue of disgust, he wailed, “I want to actually _eat_ my food tonight, guys…”

Shoulders bunched up as though he was ready to pounce at any second, Red pawed at Barret dangerously. Though his claws never harmed the human, the terrifying gleam lingered right in the center of his eyes all the same. “Get him to stop, then,” Red disdainfully snapped. “I want to actually have a decent conversation with the Wutai people!”

Snorting crudely at this statement, Barret was quick to blurt out, “I think you mean you want to speak with the Princess, only.”

Shaking his head stiffly, Red growled between clenched teeth, “I like her, yes, but not like that!”

Zack nearly dropped his chopsticks, and Aerith cringed. Barret’s jaw dropped, and he whirled around as he whispered to Zack, “You guys owe me sixty gil.”

A flustered look began all over Red’s face, and he swiftly supplied, “I like her intellect, you freak!”

Before anything else in the way of ‘awkward’ could occur, Aerith, Zack, and Barret turned to their meals, and Red gulped thickly before he cowered beneath the table.

While Cloud scarfed down his meal, Tifa’s eyes met Yuffie’s. Not at all confrontational, the crimson-eyed woman softly inquired, “How long have you been fighting against Shinra?”

Almost petulantly, Yuffie orated, “Too damn long. It’s father’s fault, though. He refuses to do what’s necessary to stop Rufus Shinra.” As she pushed around potatoes and steamed vegetables, she huffed moodily, “He had the power to do it from the very start, but he chose to sit by and just…” Pulling a rather disgusted face, she avoided gazing at her father as she forced herself to finish. “Let’s just say that he was and still _is_ a fierce warrior with a wonderful fighting spirit. He just lacks the courage and wherewithal to do what’s necessary.”

Confused, Tifa stared over at Godo, eyebrows raised almost to her bangs. “I’m not sure I can believe that, Yuffie,” she began in a cautious, malacophonous tone, clearly not wanting to offend the Wutai Princess. “Your father’s got a good heart; he’s a good leader.”

“I never said he wasn’t,” Yuffie sniped, strident and malapert as ever.

Zor butted in the conversation, uttering quickly, “Believe what you will, but Yuffie has a strong point. In his youth, Godo was a proud man, and a fierce warrior. He was an independent king, standing up against the Shinra Electric Power Company to defend the Wutai Nation’s honor and he tried to preserve our culture.” A sullen look overcame him, then, and his speech was slurred with melancholy and a great level of sadness.

Taking over for him, Yuffie hissed, “My father is now a shell of his former self who spends his days sleeping and has let Wutai become a tourist resort! Look at what he’s allowed to happen to us!”

Genuinely looking around in bewilderment, Tifa surveyed the dining hall. Reaching to her own conclusions, she frowned mildly, not too impressed with what Yuffie was stating. Shrugging, her shoulders rolled forth, and she standoffishly stated, “It’s not a bad place, here! I feel safe, and my friends do, too!”

Waving her off, Yuffie dryly snapped, “You wouldn’t understand. Don’t even bother.”

Much of the conversations shooting back and forth across the table were soon drowned out by Cloud. His stomach was full, now, and while his appetite had been quenched, the all too familiar raw, aching need to belong, to become one with his bond-mate had reared its ugly head once more. He was quick to differentiate between pangs of genuine hunger and thirst, and the deeper, more profound ones that called out for Sephiroth…

But why?! How?! It hadn’t even been a day! Already, he needed to become united with his bond-mate?! Why?? Couldn’t it hold off for at least a week?! He’d wanted to speak with Aerith!

Grumpily, Cloud swallowed and chugged down the rest of his beverage. He caught sight of Aerith laying her head on Zack’s shoulder, looking quite content. Deeply in his gut, Cloud wanted nothing more than to genuinely assign some time and talk to her, but she looked so at ease, so happy…so peaceful…

No, he much preferred letting her be. It could wait.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud decided that a Sentō bath was in good order. It was what he felt would help take the stress of the day off his weary shoulders. Unfortunately, nothing worked in his favor. Since Wutai Village was indeed a tourist and vacation resort, he should’ve known that everyone on his team wanted to take a bath. The Sentō was full, and Cloud was in no mood to shower near his friends. Luckily, he found that close to his room, outside a few feet from the backyard happened to be a lovely Onsen. The soft-flowing waters were inviting and relaxing; perfect to bathe in and possibly have a cat nap.

Most of the Onsen which used hot water from a natural hot spring were said and believed to obtain a multitude of healing properties basically since time began. The warm spring Cloud dipped his toes in supposedly was packed full of minerals that were thought to be good for one’s skin, circulation and general health. Onsen baths no doubt could be beautiful objects in themselves–made from materials such as cypress wood, marble and granite, much as the pool he was tempted to get into, now.

Gazing across the expansive yard surrounded by heavy, large, thick Sakura trees and red emperor maple trees, the scene was inviting enough by itself. As such, the hot spring bath, like others, was situated in areas of outstanding natural beauty or attached to lovely traditional inns, which enhanced their appeal. There really was nothing more relaxing or therapeutic than lying back in a hot bath after a long day, especially when one was surrounded by falling leaves, on a beach, overlooking a beautiful mountain view, or listening to a river rushing past. He recalled enjoying this once, and he wanted to relive it while he could. This perhaps would be his one and only chance to break away from his vagous experiences and feelings.

Ensuring that the door to his private room was locked, Cloud rinsed himself off quickly before poking his head out the sliding shoji partition. Bamboo stood decorating the outer perimeter of the pool, as did thick and lovely bushes and rocks. Plenty of privacy, and a large, long fence kept prying eyes away.

Deciding that it would do, Cloud darted into the hot bath, trying not to whimper and moan out in sheer joy. Once the warm water sloshed around his limbs, he felt the pain and tension leaving himself, but slowly. The water truly did have healing and soothing properties! He waded to the center of the warm bath, first, spinning around as he floated backwards and leaned his head against a small grey rock. It wasn’t the best ‘pillow’, but it would do. He was just so damn tired and heavy after eating, and he felt he could sleep for hours. The seductive lull and pull of the water felt tremendous.

Reaching for a scrubbing buffer, Cloud gently ran it over his chest, but the moment it touched his flesh, he hissed and released it. Pain again…the gentleness was gone. It’d slipped right through his fingers. Even the light stroke of the waves splashing against his skin was hurtful to his abused muscles. Glancing around, for a moment, Cloud wondered if the temperature of the water had just soared miraculously on its own. Logically, he knew that wasn’t possible, but then again, he couldn’t recall ever being this sensitive to touch before. This was supposed to be a gentle, pleasant experience! This was a bath! This was never supposed to feel akin to the way a current of raw electricity would run through his body!

Torn between wanting to get out and wanting to stay so the medicinal waters could help, Cloud looked to the cerulean sky, counting the black and red birds that flew on by. As their wings flapped, guiding and pushing them through the air gracefully, he somehow remembered Sephiroth…Sephiroth’s wing was beautiful, too…

Yes, Sephiroth was a wonderful fighter, but beyond his battles, Cloud had seen the more ‘refined’ and gentler side of him. That enigmatic gentleness came about and reflected in his flight. Even though he’d been somewhat hazy in his memories, Cloud still could feel the way Sephiroth had lifted him off the ground and into his arms with such ease, but also with such tenderness. He truly made it so that he was handling his junior with utmost care…he didn’t want to hurt him. When they took off to the sky, it truly was an ethereal rebirth. Cloud knew what happiness was in that specific moment, and he’d wanted to cherish and immortalize it for all time.

Sephiroth had been the one to thank for that. He’d willingly taken care of him, and he’d shown him just a small sample of the world through his eyes. The bird’s eye view had been brilliant, stunning, and it planted all the seeds of genuine comfort and happiness ready to sprout and come to full blossom within Cloud.

….

_‘Wait…why am I thinking about Sephiroth, especially in the middle of my damn relaxing bath?!’_

A sharp throb in his groin answered him, and he reached a hand down to press against the rising mound, arm slowly moving beneath the warm water surreptitiously. Something was so very wrong with his damn body. He could’ve blamed at least a hundred different things, and Cloud wanted to seek out a million different explanations for why of all times, and in all unholy ways, he was aroused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...the next chapter will be....interesting, to say the least....


	19. Symbiosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING, MASTURBATION*

Perhaps it’d been because of the way the water engulfed him, pulling him into its lenitive, glorious heat. Perhaps something in the food had disturbed his system. Perhaps he was ignoring his male needs and biology for too long. Whatever the case, Cloud Strife sat in the hot spring, nervously fidgeting as he hoped and prayed his damn erection would disappear.

Unfortunately, no amount of hoping and wishing would do the trick. Sitting there covering his genitals with his hands was making it all worse. The helpless groan Cloud released then was unmistakably one of pure agony. Lifting his hands out of the water, he winced as he tried crawling out, but then remembered that he _did_ have a demanding erection. What if someone happened to peek over the fence? With his shitty luck, he wouldn’t put it past the realm of possibilities.

No, it was a lot better to take care of this now, seeing as he had the luxury of privacy on his hands. It hopefully wouldn’t take too long, anyway. After a few seconds ticked by, Cloud perked his ears and really focused the powers of his auditory senses on the world surrounding himself. Beyond the rhythmic churning and swirling of bubbles and ripples, he heard someone laughing every now and then.

By his estimates, the nearest neighbors were at least a few yards away. He could be quiet about this. After all, as much as he didn’t like admitting it even to himself in secrecy, his libidinous body and youth demanded it of him even when he was undergoing training regimens for the Shinra Electric Power Company. As all teenagers did at the time, Cloud explored his own body. Puberty wasn’t entirely unknown to him, and while it wasn’t discussed at length, nothing got in the way of his own experiments in the showers or late at night beneath his own sheets. He couldn’t say he particularly found the experience enjoyable or memorable. After all, masturbating in a room full of other young SOLDIERs wasn’t exactly…enticing and sexy.

In order to get the deed done quickly in the past, he’d always thought of females, especially of Tifa. But now, he was thinking of the first person he’d seriously shared some form of intimacy and closeness with; Sephiroth. The One Winged Angel truly wasn’t bad to look at. The bits of his body Cloud had been lucky enough to gape at were divine. Fit, in proper proportion, and all too boot with a handsome, chiseled face…he could’ve been sculpted by the gods. Sephiroth _was_ the very definition of perfection. How could someone _not_ be tempted to indulge?

 _‘Screw it,’_ Cloud thought as he waited and gazed around one last time. _‘I’m human, after all. Gotta do what I gotta do!’_ Without further doubts, and before he could change his mind, his hands slipped all too eagerly to his cock.

He hadn’t done this in a very long time. The throb intensified, promising to become painful if Cloud didn’t do something about it. Thankfully, the water made him slick enough. Slowly, he dipped his head back trying to get as comfortable as he could. Pulling himself flush against the wall of the bath, then decided that wouldn’t be enough. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. This wasn’t going to be a simple wanking session. His mind had to get in the right mood, and Cloud was already working on the perfect ‘fantasy’ for this moment.

Imagining himself in the same mansion’s bedroom with Sephiroth was a good start. Maybe he would undress right in front of the older male, putting on a good show. Sephiroth would watch closely, eyes never fully satisfied. He would then sit up and allow Cloud to strip off his long coat and uniform, tossing it all onto the floor in one go. Fingers, much too hungry and greedy would then ease pants and boxers over his strong hips and down his long legs. Naked, Sephiroth would lie back on the bed again, one hand going down to curve around his cock and the other sliding up his torso to drift across his nipples.

Now that the introductory image was sealed in his mind, he could go through with this.

Imagination on overdrive, Cloud wondered about so many things in his little fantasy. How large was Sephiroth’s cock? How would he get aroused? How would his face twist and contort in the midst of passion? Cloud himself had been so drunk and messed up last time, that he’d never had the time or the opportunity to take a good look…

His Mako-colored eyes shut slowly as he pictured the scene, pictured himself moving forward on all fours over Sephiroth. The older male was like a large jungle cat as he would lie in wait. One hand would casually lift to cup Cloud’s ass. His hand remembered to go along with enacting his thoughts and fantasies. Sliding a hand down to his own bottom, Cloud relished in the feel of that muscled cheek from the one touch he had allowed himself, and he used that, mentally feeling the muscles tense and relax as he then shifted his weight. Wishing it were Sephiroth’s hand instead, Cloud groaned softly, his own heated hand tightening on his rapidly hardening cock.

Sephiroth would squeeze his cheek, moving closer and wrapping his free arm around narrow hips, pressing slightly down into Cloud’s pelvis. The aroused youth moaned and clutched at the edge of the bath with one hand and gently tugged at a nipple with the other. Mind inflamed, Cloud imagined himself loosening his hold on Sephiroth to allow the older male to start tugging his dark sweater up, dropping a kiss in the small of the younger man’s back.

Sephiroth perhaps was a soft kisser. In this fantasy, as he would graze and glide his lips over every inch of Cloud’s neck and chest, he would let go of the sweater long enough to tug gently down on trim hips to get his wanton message across. Cloud would be eagerly pushing his pants down, wanting to never again be shy. Satisfied, Sephiroth would begin pulling the length of the sweater back up, bending down to trail lips and tongue up Cloud’s spine as he did so. As he moved up the length of his bond-mate’s spine, Cloud’s hungry body would straighten and pull in tighter. Their silhouettes stood out in his sexual thoughts, now; with Sephiroth’s toned belly roughly and intimately pressed against Cloud’s butt, his cock straining upward.

Seizing up, Cloud took his hand off his cock long enough to grab for a bar of soap, wanting the extra friction, then went back to slow steady stroking. His other hand was moving all over his chest and belly, searching out all his sensitive spots. He took his time delving into his own navel, tugging gently at soft thatch of golden curls below, tweaking his already hardened nipples. A moment later, the tip of his cock began weeping, and he gathered the moisture onto his fingers and spread it over the head and down the shaft, groaning softly.

Slipping further into his perverse thoughts, Cloud’s sweater would now come off. Sephiroth turned his attention from Cloud’s spine to his neck, his hypersensitive ears, and his jaw. Moaning lustfully, Cloud dropped his head backward onto Sephiroth’s strong shoulder, giving him as much access as he possibly could, and caught the hand tracing patterns on his chest. He squeezed it once, then deliberately drew it down his torso to his waistband.

Ever a dutiful lover, Sephiroth took the hint and unbuttoned and unzipped the dark uniform pants. He carefully leaned Cloud onto his chest, pressing them both deeper into the mattress. While wrapping wiry arms around the sheets and pillows to hold himself steady, in his imagination, Cloud heard himself groaning for more as Sephiroth slowly pulled down his underwear, letting his thumbs stroke the flesh they glided over.

Not realizing he was moaning out loud, Cloud quivered and shook when he felt how his chest arched up and hit the slightly cool air. The beads of water were now drying on his skin as he rose up, but it was a delightful contrast and a temperature he sought after.

Oh, he wished he could writhe naked before the older male he was becoming more and more drawn to. He would behave so shamelessly, not at all caring that he was naked as the day he’d been born. He couldn’t pay credence to that, not with the way Sephiroth would gape at him as though he was the most beautiful creature alive.

Yes, in his mind, Sephiroth just looked at him for a moment, then turned him around onto his chest and stomach. Then, he would lean forward to kiss a warm trail starting from the back of his neck all the way down to the swell of his ass. Moving along, Sephiroth took his time, raising his head and dotting kisses all over the well-muscled back of his junior until he was but a sputtering, panting mess. He would step back, eliciting a soft whimper from Cloud, who would only turn his head to look at him pleadingly. Finally, Sephiroth would smile at him and press his naked cock right up against the cleft in his ass.

 _‘I want to touch you all over,’_ he hungrily would murmur, and then move forward to pull Cloud back securely into his arms. Bare back against bare chest, Cloud’s bottom just brushing the top of Sephiroth’s pubic hair was a delectable sensation.

Hips snapping abruptly, a loud ‘splash’ sounded at once. Due to the fear and lack of control, Cloud cried out in pain. He could taste blood from where he’d bitten through his lower lip at the imagined feel of Sephiroth’s skin against his own, and he twisted and tugged the very tip of his cock desperately with his free hand as he sped up his strokes.

 _‘Touch me, Sephiroth, touch me, touch me,’_ the blonde was chanting in his mind, and the silver-haired male would be only too happy to oblige. Cloud was able to see it happening now. Sephiroth pulled Cloud’s hips down a bit until his erect cock was nestled between the hard thighs just below Cloud’s ass. He kissed a shoulder, then reached over with his right hand to grasp Cloud’s already-weeping cock, spreading the liquid and starting to stroke.

Cloud moaned, then gasped as Sephiroth’s other hand cupped his balls, rolling them gently. As he stroked his partner, Sephiroth started thrusting between his thighs. His lips devoured Cloud’s neck, shoulder and ear, kissing and licking and biting. They would be loud, but they wouldn’t care. Then, suddenly, Cloud twisted his head and reached frantically for a kiss. It was hot, wet and hungry; pure unadulterated heaven, full of promises.

Just like Sephiroth…

Cloud was stroking his cock hard and fast now, his other hand squeezing his balls lightly, both in perfect unison with his fantasy motions on Sephiroth, his mouth open and head lifting in a fruitless search for the tongue that should be invading it. Harsh breathing echoed in the small yard, bubbles tossing and turning as they rose in time with Cloud’s immoral motions.

 _‘Oh, Gaia, Sephiroth, I’m gonna come,’_ Cloud desperately panted.

In his mind, Sephiroth would be talking to him and replying to his cries. _‘Yes, that’s it, come for me, little puppet…I want to see every filthy emotion displayed on your face.’_ Anytime Sephiroth muttered, his hand tightened further on Cloud’s shaft.

With a boisterous wail, Cloud came, muscles clenching around the cock thrusting into the channel his thighs had made. As a result, Sephiroth cried out and thrust harder, still milking Cloud’s tumescent cock for the last drops. Spent, Cloud relaxed, and Sephiroth let go and grabbed his hips. Holding him tightly, he buried his head in the joint of Cloud’s neck and shoulder. He bit down as he felt the orgasm approach, shooting over Cloud’s thighs for what felt like forever.

At once, Cloud’s orgasmic cry echoed through the whole yard as he came, only slightly muffled by the hand he’d thrust into his mouth. Slowly, the fantasy faded, and he opened his eyes to see himself lying alone in the warm bath, with semen spattered over his chest. He raised a hand to wipe at it, blinking in surprise at the bloody tooth marks in his own skin. Shit, he’d bitten harder than he’d realized.

Shivering, he swallowed hard, feeling how badly his throat ached and burned. Gaia, this hadn’t been such a good idea, after all. Most of the suds and water was now all over the grass and stone as opposed to inside the pool. He’d knocked over a few shampoo bottles, and the rest of the soap was lying a few feet away. What a mess.

Almost mechanically, he got up and headed for the shower, wanting to rinse all evidences and traces of what just happened away before he set to clean after himself. The ache inside was sharper now, bittersweet; what-might-have-beens were dangerous to think about.

Body moving on autopilot, Cloud saw everything else as a blur. His room held no distinguishing features, but he relied on his legs to safely carry himself into the bathroom. As he stood under the hot spray, he made a decision; he’d let himself do this, once, but once was enough. No more fantasizing about Sephiroth. It was wrong, hideous, nasty, and most of all, Sephiroth was a man he still couldn’t trust.

He had to move on, to get past this. Sephiroth was not someone ‘normal’. He would never be Cloud’s friend, and they would never be on the same side, seeing eye to eye. Everyone detested the One Winged Angel, everyone feared him. Cloud had to fear him as well, and that was that. Whatever had happened here was a mere confusion and an accident born and bred from interacting too many times with Sephiroth. It wouldn’t happen again. Cloud had managed to go this long without masturbating. What difference did it make whether he was beating off to images of Sephiroth naked, of Sephiroth touching him, passionately kissing him, loving him and...

“UGH! No!” Nearly slapping himself brusquely for feeling hot and flustered again, Cloud purposefully chose to turn the water to icy cold. He was not going to do this. Never again. Using the ice-water, he scrubbed himself off, as though that would somehow wash away and absolve him of his guilty, treacherous thoughts.

Savagely, when he was through, Cloud turned off the water and toweled himself dry, nearly missing how inflamed his skin was, save for the Geostigma.

He was strong. He could get through this.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud didn’t know what had hurt worse; his pride and ego at being so easy to ignore, his rampant, frustrated libido...or the part of himself that couldn’t forget the extreme tenderness of imagining another man’s touch. He’d done it, and as seedy and lowly as he felt, Cloud found himself aching for its loss.

The icy blast of cold water in the shower quelled the fire in his flesh and damn near froze his epidermis off. Shivering uncontrollably, Cloud quickly soaped up, rinsed off, and killed the water before he developed frost bite. With teeth chattering, Cloud stepped out of the tub and grabbed a towel to viciously scrub himself dry.

Although the cold shower had served its original purpose and tamed his humiliating erection, it had produced its own complication as an after-effect. Cloud was now completely wide awake.

The restlessness in his blood ensured that it wouldn’t be long before his former tormentor reared its hungry little head again. Damn, what a night. Perhaps if he fell asleep soon enough, he would be able to put this all past himself.

Cloud’s body reacted instantly to the sensual brush of cool linen against his bare skin. He could feel himself harden almost as soon as he crawled between the sheets.

 _‘_ _So much for cold showers’,_ Cloud grimly thought as he tried to get comfortable. Unfortunately, with his mind and body both awake and in need, he soon abandoned the idea of getting a ‘good night’s sleep’.

Well. If sleeping wouldn’t do, perhaps he could go for a walk around the village…deciding to do that, he redressed in his new change of clothes, which consisted of a black, long haori and black hakama pants. It was the most ‘under-dressed’ he’d been in weeks, but it was comfortable in the heat and calm of Wutai village.

As Cloud marched toward his door, he failed to notice another figure standing with his arms folded in his lap, almost blending and hiding perfectly well beneath the umbriferous giant, Elephant Ear Colocasia Gigantea plant.

“Good evening, Cloud,” Sephiroth greeted a few moments later, his voice sounding strangely gentle.

Cloud gasped in shock, whirling about until he stopped dead in his tracks and saw the sangfroid face of the bane of his existence. He was completely unnerved and peeved, especially considering how Sephiroth always had nasty ways of just popping out of nowhere, but also, he was wondering whether Sephiroth had genuinely noticed his…little, private session.

Dearly hoping that was far from the case, Cloud growled boorishly, “What’re you doing here?!”

Alarmingly calm and good-natured, Sephiroth replied with ease, “Do I need a reason to see my bond-mate?”

Shivers ran through Cloud when he heard that term flying from Sephiroth’s lips. Peeking around the paper-thin curtains and dividers between his walls and the partitions, he hissed coldly, “Get lost! You’re not supposed to be here!”

Smirking to himself as though he was in on some joke or hidden secret, Sephiroth dipped his head back and sighed. “Yes, I’m beginning to learn I’m not wanted anywhere…” Gaze dropping intentionally to Cloud’s crotch, he added maliciously, “…Although, I _was_ rather curious to see what the fuss was all about when I heard _someone_ crying out my name…” Laughing fiendishly, he concluded, “Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon the very _last_ thing I thought I’d be seeing.”

Cloud was beyond mortified and petrified. Sephiroth basically confirmed in a subtle and yet not-so-subtle manner that he had in fact noticed Cloud’s self-pleasure. Great. Fantastic. Literally, he had nothing next to privacy, anymore. What else was there to lose, now?

With contempt shot directly at Sephiroth, Cloud sourly drawled, “Did you watch me taking a shower too, after?” 

Sephiroth remained still and quiet, but that didn’t help anything. To Cloud, the sapiential eyes of his facinorous foe informed him of the real answer to his question.

Nodding curtly, Cloud stiffly droned, voice tired and weak, “Great. Glad you could be there for it.” Pausing, he wanted to at least get an insult in. It was his damn right, after all. Sephiroth was always mocking and pestering him, and he needed to take some small form of revenge for it.

Superciliously, he stomped his feet in agitation before leaning against the door. As his heart raced within his chest, he growled, face red, “Yeah? Well you know what? I hope you actually enjoyed perving in on me. Bet it was nice, wasn’t it?”

Leaving no room for Sephiroth to answer, seeing as Cloud never thought he would, the shorter, younger ex-SOLDIER began making his way for the door, when Sephiroth softly said something. Although Cloud hadn’t heard it properly the first time, his brain held onto it, replaying it like a recording until the words made sense to him.

Bluntly, Sephiroth had calmly and gently admitted, “It was a lot nicer than you would care to know.”

This was crazy. He was surely going crazy. He’d lost it ages ago, more than likely.

Gritting his teeth so tightly and firmly together that they ground painfully, Cloud had to pause. Inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply, he felt his temples tightening, no doubt giving off signs that he was already sporting a nasty headache. His hands and fingers were quite sweaty, but he didn’t know what to do with them. Ideally, wrapping them around Sephiroth’s neck and choking the daylights out of him seemed like a wonderful plan. However, his fingers had a mind of their own, twitching and aching to wrap themselves around a weapon’s handle. Then, he would happily use that weapon to seriously maim and kill this damn monster always set on torturing him.

Yes, that was the most pleasant thing…

Harshly, Cloud randomly proclaimed, “I’m going to go, now, and I don’t want you to follow me. Do you understand?”

Shaking his head, he opened the door ajar, when Sephiroth ran a venerous hand through his hair. Where that gesture had once caused terrifying shivers to crawl up and down the youth’s spine, now, it was a most welcome and most enjoyable act. Cloud responded to it well by leaning and tilting his head back to solidly rest and make contact with Sephiroth’s palm.

Giving in to the touches, he sharply let out a groan, but then abruptly remembered where they were. Slamming a hand over his mouth to silence himself, he scowled deeply when Sephiroth chuckled.

Purring into his ears and hair, the older male commented, “You look better with your hair fashioned down. I never understood why you always leave it in the disorganized mess that it’s usually found in.”

Cloud stood frozen, recalling that since he’d been in such a hurry to get out of the bathroom and get some rest, he hadn’t bothered gelling and styling his hair the usual way he normally did. Instead, it hung down to his shoulders, now, giving him a bit of an effeminate look, in his opinion. Now, he’d wanted to set time and fix it badly, especially considering how it pleased Sephiroth.

Running his fingers first from the root to the tip like a comb’s teeth would, Sephiroth graciously straightened the sandy-colored hair before massaging closer and closer to Cloud’s bangs. He straightened those out, too, humming yet again as he engaged in his ‘work’. Listening to the serene notes, Cloud dipped his head back, and then to the side when Sephiroth’s long fingers coiled and curled around the ends of his hair, tugging for a moment before releasing the strands and then repeating the process over again with a new section of his hair.

This felt…good…this felt so…domestic. Sephiroth’s humming was quite pleasant to listen to, Cloud enjoying having his hair played with…none of it seemed foreign or bizarre to him. Why, he even found himself trying to hum along and guess the tune, but then Sephiroth stopped once he caught on.

“The entire village will hear you,” Sephiroth teased, hand never ceasing to tenderly pull and pluck at Cloud’s strands before massaging the hair follicles and roots deeply. Cocking an eyebrow in a playful way, he added, “Is that what you would like, Cloud?”

Harsh embarrassment slapped Cloud in the face, and he immediately ducked away from Sephiroth’s hand. Spinning himself around, he spat venomously, “I said leave me alone! I don’t need to hear your disgusting—”

Footsteps approaching informed them both that the topic for a discussion and argument was over. Cutting it all short, Cloud slammed the door on Sephiroth’s face, leaving him to his own devices. Before he stepped into the hall, however, he felt something brushing his hair up.

Gooseflesh kissed all areas of his skin, but he remained sturdy and still as he watched a shadow creeping along the wall. Nearer and nearer it became, until suddenly, it stopped. A few of Cloud’s hair strands were tugged upward, gathering together in a bunch, but he didn’t blink as he focused on the shadow.

Boldly, he grunted, “Hey! Who’s there?”

The sound of sandals screeching along the wooden floor sounded, and then, from the rest of the shadows, a mass of dark, spiky hair emerged.

Cloud let out a sigh of pure relief. “Zack! You scared the shit outta me!”

High-strung, himself, the raven-haired male froze, and then visibly deflated as he exhaled in his own measures of relief. Rolling his deep blue eyes, Zack laughed as he shook his head. “Likewise, Cloud! Glad you’re up though, dude! I was gonna ask you if you wanted to get some fresh air, take a walk with me! That sorta thing!”

Staring at Zack’s hair, Cloud counted a few fresh, beady water droplets dripping from his clean hair down to his black and white gi. The garment fit around his masculine form nicely, and it was a rather new, but refreshing sight, in Cloud’s opinion. It was a sign of Zack discarding his previous life, and letting loose for but one night, maybe.

Visibly more relaxed and calmer, even, Zack grinned as he leaned against the wall across from Cloud’s room. “What’d’ya say, Cloud? Wanna get outta here for a while?”

Frowning for a moment, Cloud calmly stated, “As nice as that would be, Zack, you _do_ realize we’re not really on vacation, right?” Stating the obvious wasn’t something he was excited about doing, but it seemed like it had to be done, especially when Zack was flitting about the halls as though he was lost in his own dreamland.

Grounded back to reality upon hearing the guttural, strident tone his friend was speaking in, Zack Fair chuckled pleasantly as he placed both hands on his hips. “I know, Cloud,” he laughed as though truly amused. “It’s just for one night, though. We could use some fresh air, and besides, Tifa and Aerith are having their own ‘girl night thing’, so we may as well have our own adventure!”

Staring at his bubbly friend without the slightest hint of enthusiasm painting onto his young face, after a few moments of heavy silence, Cloud finally sighed wearily. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.”

As he made to move down the hall, Zack gently lay a hand on his shoulder, and the weight of the touch slowed Cloud’s movements down.

Peeking surreptitiously over his shoulder at his friend, he bit out hastily, “What?”

Whistling in amusement, Zack wet his lips, then, smiling from ear to ear. His eyes were bright and full of energy, matching his upbeat, effervescent tone. Leaning into Cloud, he ran a hand through the back of his skull as he cried out in joy, “I like your hair this way, Cloud! It reminds me of how it was when we first met!”

“Huh?!” Spinning around as though he had eyeballs in the back of his head, Cloud pathetically and questionably hissed, “What’re you talkin’ about?”

Face suddenly dull and impassive, Zack stated softly, “Cloud, you’re weird. You put your hair up in a ponytail, and I was just saying how good it looks.” Shrugging apathetically, he declaimed in one breath, “No need to be so strange about it.”

This either had to be a joke, or some part of his stupid imagination. Reaching back with his right hand, Cloud gripped the top of the curve of the ponytail, breath hitching in his throat as he mapped it out and ran his fingers down the curve all the way to the end of it which touched the lowest part of the back of his neck. Zack hadn’t been lying or joking; his hair was done up in a ponytail, and it’d happened without Cloud even noticing or feeling it.

Scoffing and shaking his head, Zack was already swaggering off ahead down the hall. Over his shoulder, he threw out to a stunned Cloud, “Better keep up! I heard the village gets crowded quickly, and guards sometimes patrol the most popular attractions when it gets dark!”

Although he followed stiffly like a puppet being guided and pushed along by the help of an unseen puppeteer, Cloud couldn’t help but softly smile. Anytime he touched his ponytail, his smile would refresh instantly. Smiling to his heart’s content, he enjoyed the way it had been fastened not too tightly to be the source of pain, but his grin became even larger and warmer when his fingers gingerly stroked the black band holding his hair firmly in place.

The single, black feather fastened and glued to the length of the band was probably what made Cloud feel so wanted and desired. It was his own special secret, and he was content with leaving it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me, the end of this chapter was absolutely adorable imo. Had to bring back Cloud with a ponytail! Thank you Sephiroth!


	20. The Taming of the Dragon

There were many grand sights to bask in on that fine evening. As Zack and Cloud wandered deep into the village, they discovered how many shops, theaters, and other tourist attractions such as spas, salons, and bars were open. Performances of magic, song and dance rang out high per vicinal block. People milled about, admiring the grand activities, and soon, Cloud and Zack were drawn to a Kabuki play. It was mostly aimed at children, they found, but they were quite entertained until they passed open markets and shops with ripe fruits, vegetables, and lovely assortments of herbs and flowers on full display.

They bonded quickly as they gazed at various rugs, teapots, vases, heirlooms, as well as clothing on sale. There was always more to see here, they found, and soon, they picked up the pace to discuss the arts and the culture of the Wutai Nation as they traveled along the paths winding down from the heart of the village to the smaller establishments.

It seemed as though no time at all had passed between the two young friends. They spoke fondly together, laughed joyously, and felt comfortable as they visited shrines and various graves. In a small temple, Cloud glanced out a wide window, eyes piercing through the orange-yellow glow of the evening. A few Wutai warriors stood bowing before the tombstones, sweeping them clean and leaving some offerings of sweets and sake. No flowers, strangely.

Cloud silently watched as the warriors followed their lords and leaders closely, walking through an old, abandoned castle’s grounds. A few monks accompanied them, bowing their heads as vigils and incense were lit, burning and carrying the potent stench of the smoke forth. It reminded both Cloud and Zack of the life the people of Wutai used to have here before Shinra attacked.

Though they would never be able to put themselves in Yuffie’s place, they could sympathize with her well enough to understand why she wasn’t too proud of her father in his later years. The old Wutai leader’s visions had begun to obnubilate and deteriorate due to time and circumstance, clearly reflecting in the ways of quotidian life.

Then again, Cloud had to wonder who in the world _wasn’t_ a victim of circumstances they held no power and control over?

When they journeyed back outside, around the castle was a grand moat. A few children were having the time of their lives tossing and offering bread and small bits of rice cake for the tiny critters and animals, earning their trust long enough to pet them. Beyond that lay a grand courtyard filled with ornamental gardens and a koi pond.

Other buildings of the Wutai Estate enclosed the courtyard from all around, each entity coming to form one unit as though to piece together like a giant wall of puzzles. In the distance, whenever he craned his neck up, Cloud spotted a few bobbing lanterns in the windows of older buildings far across; likely servants going about their duties. Meanwhile, guards made their rounds through the slim alleys between buildings, spear points glinting as they passed through shafts of evening light.

Cloud walked along the outskirts with Zack closely at his side. Sometimes, the crowds and clusters of citizens grew too thick, and other times, it was but a trickle. As they ventured closer to the mass graves near the Materia caves and forests, they found that there weren’t many people lingering about. There weren’t many shops either, mostly travelling peddlers who’d laid out their wares by the side of the walkway.

When it became too silent, Zack pointed at a large gate wide open, leading to one the largest cemeteries. Cloud chose to go toward the gravestones and tree stumps, weaving his way between them as the branches and leaves ran across his clean skin and tickled him. There appeared to be no guards and warriors stationed here, which meant they still had some time to venture around. Both Zack and Cloud steadily approached the tombstones and studied them together.

They were unnamed and unmarked, and the two they stood before were oddly shaped. One was smaller than the other. But one could tell that the stones were made of exquisite quality and were once carved beautifully before majority of their finer details were eroded from exposure to the elements.

Cloud wondered whom they belonged to with how obvious much importance was given to the site before other pressing matters took over. Judging by the environment and singed grass, something detrimental had to have happened here. Perhaps a battle, which would explain the mass graves here. Even the trees were cut down some time back, but there still permeated through the air the lingering smell of cherry blossoms. It was the distinct scent that reminded Cloud of a memory regarding those specific trees. He stared at them as the memory ran through his mind.

 _A young woman with long, brown hair and a slim figure sat on an old rocking chair placed perfectly beneath a large_ _cherry blossom tree. She was clearly enjoying sitting and watching the tree, the little blossoms and leaves occasionally falling around her, the petals organized and surrounding her as though worshipping her form. She chuckled to herself as she sat eating sweets. Inhaling softly, she cooed, dipped her head back to the sky, and started humming…_

“It’s weird,” Zack interrupted, clearly having been lost in his own conversation while Cloud had drifted off in his vague memories. “I don’t remember much about tombstones, but I do feel a great sense of loss here.” When he glanced up at Cloud, the shorter male gave one firm nod.

“Yeah, I’ve sensed that, too.” Truthfully, whenever he looked at the graves, he was reminded by the passing villagers’ expressions of sorrow and sadness that all wasn’t as well and pleasant as appearances led on. In the time that he spent in the Shinra Electric Power Company, Cloud was taught that cherry trees were an iconic, sacred part of the Wutai lands, and this particular one within the castle grounds held both sentimental and spiritual value. It was no wonder Lord Godo had been furious to see it cut down, according to his daughter’s words.

Shifting soil around with his sandals awkwardly, Zack ventured meekly, “Err, wanna get outta here?” Shivering, he grunted contritely, “This place is kinda creepy.”

They turned to leave, when at once, Cloud saw a few feet away two strange people. They appeared to be visiting the cemetery. Zack hissed at him to leave them be, but Cloud was immediately attracted to the sight of the strange pair, so much that he approached them brazenly. When he was within close enough of a distance, he could properly see them both. One was an older, one-armed man missing his left eye, while the other happened to be a young girl approximately the same age as himself. Where the girl was neat, clean and pretty from her blonde hair to her clothes, the older man looked unkempt in his faded red robes, shaggy hair and a similarly shaggy beard. His graying hair with remnants of red, slightly hunched back and longer remaining arm reminded Cloud of an ape.

Grunting and hissing behind him, Zack eventually whispered, “Umm…h-hi?”

Though they didn’t say anything in return, they settled down into the grass, already pitching a tiny tent. The young girl placed a small table and stool near the tent, bringing out washi and draping it across the table. Behind her, the older man she was traveling with lay out a straw mat, working quite quickly despite his age.

Cloud looked at the bald, eye patched peddler and his wares that were presented on the straw mat. There were many odd things, from candy, to mollitious trinkets, to kitchen and carpentry tools. When they were finished arranging and setting everything out, they stood before the two fighters. Cloud watched the odd duo, interested to see what the girl might do, especially considering how she seemed more thrilled about presenting their items.

“Pick what you want,” she told them warmly. She then wordlessly nodded and looked down at the wares in her stock again. After some time, the girl pointed at something and the peddler picked it up and handed it to her. Holding it out for Cloud and Zack, she sang out cheerfully, “Would this please you?”

Shaking his head firmly, Zack mumbled, “Um, no thanks, we don’t have any gil, and—”

Apparently, that was as good of ‘I’ll buy it’ for the young girl and her older companion.

“Excellent choice, young man! This will suit you perfectly!” the excited, amenable young female complimented with a bright guffaw as she held the item in a small, grey cloth. Cloud couldn’t see what it was from where he was standing so he walked up to even closer to them. The girl turned to look at him inquisitively, but Cloud was more curious to see what she had picked.

Pausing as his fingers itched and dangled above the cloth, he softly inquired, “May I?”

She nodded enthusiastically as she practically shoved the item in his grasp. “It’s yours!”

Without further encouragement, Cloud unfolded the cloth from about the little object. Drawing it closer to his eyes, he found that it was a neat wooden comb, shaped like a half moon with small, decorative flowers painted along its handle. It looked old and worn though, with some slight markings running along its teeth. The peddler may have picked it up from somewhere, but the girl appeared happy with her choice of offering it to him. She turned to the one-armed man beside herself with a small smile.

“I told you he would like this one! Haha!” Turning back around, she pointed at Cloud, no doubt eager to give him something, as well. “I can find a nice one for you too, young man!”

The old man grumbled but nevertheless turned brusquely into his tent, closing the flaps behind himself for privacy. Zack snatched the comb from Cloud’s fingers, carelessly tossing it back down to the pile of treasures the peddlers were selling.

Cloud, meanwhile, was still looking through the girl’s wares for anything that may be suitable for Sephiroth. He didn’t and probably never would be able to fathom why in the name of Gaia he was searching for some trinket to take to Sephiroth like a lover bringing a souvenir back home. Before he caught himself doing it, the young woman giggled.

“Are you looking for something?” the girl asked, studying Cloud far too closely and intently.

Meekly, Cloud didn’t trust his tongue, yet, so he only nodded in response. After a moment, he mustered the energy and courage to speak up. “I umm...just wanted a gift,” he replied shyly.

“For whom?” the girl asked again. This time, Cloud remained quiet. He didn’t dare to call Sephiroth his friend. He was his damn enemy! A plague! A menace, and a perverted creep to boot! He supposed he could lie and say it was for Zack, but one peek over his shoulder at his dark-haired companion told him that Zack most definitely wasn’t interested in anything here. Not wanting to lie about his friend either, Cloud instead opted not to answer.

The girl wasn’t bothered by his lack of a response and hummed as she looked at the other displayed items. Eventually she pointed to a collection of oddments at a corner of the display mat. There was a small, plain mirror, a frayed sagoe cord for a sword, and an open pouch of old glass marbles.

Almost immediately, Cloud’s eyes landed on the marbles. He looked down at his wrist where the bead bracelet Tifa had given to him on the night he said he was to be leaving for work in the Shinra Electric Power Company rested and smiled. They looked just like prayer beads the children in the village often made, and Cloud had always been fond of them. Maybe Sephiroth would like them, too! Though cracked and chipped, they were still colorful. Cloud counted ten of them in the bag, which should have been enough for himself to craft into a bracelet for his bond-mate.

Checking to see that Zack was distracted, Cloud pointed to the shiny marbles. “How much?”

The girl sighed a dreamy sigh as she played with her wavy hair. “A thousand gil!”

A thousand gil?! He didn’t have that kind of money with himself!! Wincing, Cloud awkwardly coughed out, “Umm, can I maybe g-get like a discount or something?”

Blinking hard at him, the girl asked coldly, “Why? What do you need them for?”

Though it wasn’t any of her business, Cloud decided to be cunning. Feigning a sad, sullen look, he pouted, head hanging as he shrugged. Simply, he answered, “Just my bond-err, girlfriend.” Trying to cover up his minor mistake, he smoothly purred, “Just wanted to get something for my girl. We don’t see each other a lot, and she’s been lonely.”

“Hey! You gonna steal that?!” the peddler yelled accusingly, poking his head out of his tent. The man’s lone uncovered eye brightened as his female companion hummed and thought to herself.

Pondering it for a moment, she waved her older friend off. “You can take it for free, handsome!” Snatching the bag of marbles abruptly, she practically tossed it at Cloud as though they were playing a friendly game of catch. Once Cloud caught it deftly in both hands, the young woman winked at him and chuckled. “Since you’re so good-looking, your gal must be lucky!”

Snarling at her, the fussy old man admonished curtly, “This is _why_ we lose money! Who the hell taught you how to run a business deal, woman?!”

Balling her small hands in tight fists, she screamed at the sky, “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, YOU OLD COOT! THIS IS IN THE NAME OF LOVE, WHICH YOU WOULDN’T EVER UNDERSTAND!!”

The peddler soon got in a heated argument with his young companion. As they started shrieking back and forth at each other, Zack inched up to Cloud and whispered in his ear approvingly, “Nice one, partner! Using the excuse of having a girlfriend so you’d get that for free! You’re smarter than I am!”

As they turned away and began exiting the graveyard, Cloud grinned. He was lost listening fondly to the light clacking of the marbles within the bag, but that wasn’t the sole reason why he was grinning like a fool.

Cloud couldn’t wait to quickly return to his room, eager to get started on his present for Sephiroth. He couldn’t wait to see Sephiroth’s reaction upon receiving the special gift.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Zack was far too thrilled about checking out a new dojo in the heart of the village. An elderly gentleman stood at the front gate, an old, orange lantern in his hand as he welcomed them with a bow. They had to pay a small entrance fee, but they were both drawn in by the beautiful sights. A red-thatched roof and sturdy foundations held a lot of promise, and Cloud wanted to know what was going on within the dojo walls.

Sliding the dojo’s front gate open, they were first greeted by a large sign with the dojo’s name written on it in perfect kanji. _Sairai Dojo_ was built around a large high-level porch. A small well sat near the far-left side of the building. A dog resembling the one Marle owned was sitting on the porch, tail wagging lazily as it sniffed at Cloud and Zack. The sounds of women and younger girls giggling while they waddled by on geta and peered over the dojo’s fence rose in the air. Right next to the dojo’s right-hand side, a small living space was designated. A subrident, young boy-possibly a student-was sitting on the porch, happily washing the laundry.

Zack elbowed Cloud as he snickered, “It seems pretty quiet, here.”

They walked on steadily through the stone gravel, climbing onto the freshly swept engawa. Cloud practically saw his own reflection in the wooden boards, and he swallowed, a tad too nervously for his own liking. He couldn’t help but feel that Zack wasn’t just stopping by here on the off-chance to sight-see; he likely wanted to engage in a little ‘friendly’ competition and nugacity, to boot. Hoping he was wrong, Cloud simply followed in silence.

Inside, the dojo held such wondrous sights. Pillows and special mats for beginners in specially designated rooms wound and twisted up along the open halls. The main training room was simply a very spacious area with a dark brown wooden floor. From where Cloud stood, he was able to see the groove where the wall screens were set. The bar of the darker wood was a contrast to the beige of the tatami, and in focusing on that, the youth easily forgot how much his body surged in pain and anxiety.

The dojo owner showed them around, providing for them a little tour through his garrulousness. Outside, merchants and tradesmen spoke in hushed tones, never stopping by. Queasy all over his body, Cloud only resorted to following Zack and the owner through the various hallways, memorizing the path leading to the exit. They took to the second level of the dojo, which was mainly used for the purposes of prayer and worship. Evidently, a lot of estranged people wished to offer bounties and glad tidings to the gods they favored. Still, the two young ex-SOLDIERs milled by, keeping an eye on stray visitors and workers as they hurriedly passed by with bowed heads.

Cloud sighed while he gazed down the railing below at the young students training hard. The dojo was peaceful as they practiced, but the quiet was somehow distracting as it rose in Cloud’s head above the rhythmic clanking of their wooden swords. Lonely, rather than restful. Cloud yawned as he felt a gentle lull akin to the stillness by a river washing over himself. It was a pleasant change from the cheerful and evidently overwhelming noise common at the _Sairai Dojo_ , but after minutes, the calm had worn to boredom, the peace to a dulling lassitude.

Inhaling, as a light breeze blew in, Cloud smiled. The dojo did have the most intoxicating scent. All around, it smelled like a mix of summer breezes and green tea.

The rest of the rooms were large and spacious, adorned with tapestries and a few ink paintings. Cloud familiarized himself with the quarters, taking in the sakura scent that covered each object. Futon to bookshelf, folding screen to windowsill, there were luxurious sights to see. Hinai, bokuto, keikogi and hakama were stacked on neat shelves all over the walls down below in the various training rooms. Navy blue Keikogi and Hakama rested on hooks in the walls and were tucked neatly over tables when not in use.

Inside the last prayer and meditation room, a figure was found kneeling in front of the dojo’s shrine dedicated to Leviathan. As Cloud squinted, he knew he recognized the person. The red bandanna and shortly cut dark hair gave him away. Biggs was sitting by a fully opened window, comfortably resting on his folded knees. He began looking fondly at the painting of some birds on a branch. The young man was dressed in a powdery, light blue kimono with white bamboo leaf designs running across it. A thick, black ribbon with purple flowers and silver, looped vines tied in a ribbon at his slender waist had painted the birds from real life. The birds were still present, hopping about and chattering on the nearly bare tree outside. The wind came in through the room, faintly tussling his clean, shiny, ebony locks. The motions made his clothes rustle and move in a graceful dance.

Stunned beyond belief, Cloud moved away from the tour as he approached Biggs. “Hey,” he rasped as he gaped in awe at the young man. “Didn’t think you’d be here!”

“Hey Cloud,” Biggs replied affably, though there was a slight strain underlying his tone. Sitting up straighter, as he held his non-injured arm out, he began wrapping the long strips of cloth around his hand. Covering the wrist and forearm, he froze as he gazed down at his lap with a sad smile.

Not wanting the interaction to be too awkward, especially considering where they were, Cloud gently asked, “Um, do you want to be left alone?” He nearly got startled when Zack approached, standing next to him and smiling down at Biggs.

Waving at him, he chirped, “Hey! Don’t think we’ve met!” Boldly, he introduced himself. “I’m Zack Fair! Cloud and I go a long way back!” Holding out his hand for the other male to take, he cheerfully asked, “What’s your name?”

Too quietly, Biggs declaimed, “I’m no one important; just a man who’s lost too much.”

That answer shocked Zack, so Cloud winced as he instead answered soothly. “This is Biggs. He’s a good guy, Zack.”

Nodding slowly, Zack muttered, “Yeah…I see…” Eyes flickering down to Zack’s sling, he coughed, “Um, were you up here praying all this time?” Knowing it wasn’t his business, he quickly followed through with, “Just curious.”

Not offended much, Biggs slowly rose to his feet. Still smiling and enduring with a hint of despair behind his eyes, he weakly stated, “I was just leaving.”

As he swept past Cloud and Zack, hardly making much of a sound as his feet padded along the tatami mats, Zack snapped his fingers and called out after him. “Hey! I’ve got a great idea!” Once Biggs slowed down in his pace, Zack cheerfully suggested, “Cloud and I could have a bit of some friendly, manly competition! Kinda like a show you could bet on who would win!”

Paling, Cloud rasped in shock, “Zack! That’s not a good idea! Biggs will—”

“I’d be honored to watch such a duel, actually.” Biggs’ reply made Cloud’s heart sink. He wanted to bash Zack in the head for suggesting such a dumb thing. Knowing Biggs, he knew that the dejected youth had wandered in the dojo to be closer to what he loved and longed to do; engage in battle. What good was showing off what he could no longer do? What sort of levity could this possibly bring to the grievous situation Biggs had to suffer through?!

Abruptly trying to shoot it down, Cloud inched closer to Biggs and hissed under his breath, “Biggs, let’s just forget this. It’s not such a good idea.”

Not ready to acquiesce, Biggs sternly frowned and bit back, “Come on, man. It’s the least you guys could do for me.” Exhaling deeply so much that his chest and shoulders caved in, he grunted pathetically, “I’m going out of my mind here, Cloud! If you want to make me a bit happy, you’ll give this a shot.”

Skipping around him playfully, Zack crowed, “I think Cloud’s badly out of practice!” Winking at his friend, he tossed out sarcastically in a gasconade, “He’s scared he’ll kick my ass when I’m the better fighter!”

This was far too insensitive for Cloud’s liking. His empathetic eyes found Biggs’ darker ones, but the young man only nodded and grinned at Zack. That had been the only reason why Cloud agreed to go along with this idea. At least Biggs was genuinely smiling.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Biggs was now calmly sitting at the end of the training hall in a meditative pose, while Cloud and Zack stood before each other on opposite ends of the room. The faced each other, with two short wooden blades lying in front of themselves. Their preparation had only been to find the wooden kodachi blades fashioned from bokken, seeing as they didn’t wish to get too violent. Two more long strips of cloth emerged from Biggs’ satchel at his side as he helped Cloud methodically wound those around his legs, binding the loose flowing training pants he had now changed into all the way up to his knees.

It was eerily quiet around the training hall and Cloud could not help but feel a chill crawl up his spine. As far as his memory was concerned, Zack was a much better, much more talented fighter than he was. There was a good reason why he’d made it to second-class in ranking, and Cloud never had. Now, with Biggs and a few of the older sensei watching, Cloud was doomed to have his ass handed to him, no doubt.

They started off with a bow, holding their ‘weapons’ at their sides. Cloud’s small ponytail tugged at his roots, and he suddenly found himself wishing he’d taken the damn thing off. He was starting to get a headache, and he didn’t think he would be able to concentrate on his ‘performance’. His heart thumped in his ears, and he silently counted back from ‘ten’, trying to feel when Zack would attack rather than relying on his eyes.

Suddenly, Sephiroth’s words broke through to him…

_“You rely too much on your eyes; you’re easy to deceive.”_

Without warning, the silence was shattered with a deep roar starting from Zack. At once, both Cloud and Zack began launching a simultaneous attack at each other, and despite being the ‘blind’ one, Cloud clearly saw that Zack had spun right at where he anticipated the ‘enemy’ would be. Since his moves had been read through, Cloud felt the pain when Zack landed a solid kick right in the middle of his stomach. Not wanting to go down, Cloud forced his arms up to where he brought up his ‘sword’ to deflect one of the wooden blades that had tried to crash down upon his head. He saw the taller male stagger back a bit, breathing hard as Zack remained where he was, head slightly tilted. Neither of them was slipping on the polished floor, despite the tabi that they were wearing.

He realized that Zack was now listening, and quite carefully. He was listening for the sounds around himself and watched as Cloud quickly calmed his breathing until Zack could not even hear it anymore. In the second time that both attacked each other simultaneously, Cloud felt a distinctly sharp force push at him briefly, almost knocking him over before it quickly disappeared. Nearly crashing to the floor, he gazed up and saw Zack’s second attempt fail again.

Cloud had instinctively blocked one of his friend’s harsh attacks with one of his blades. Strongly, he held onto it, which resulted in Zack’s own weapon being knocked from his hand as it clattered to the floor. He saw Zack quickly strike with an open palm before landing a quick succession of vigorous kicks and punches that whittled what little defense Cloud had put up. With each successive hit that Zack was raining upon Cloud, the blonde again felt the same distinctly sharp force pushing at himself.

However, Zack did not give up and despite slipping briefly on the floor, he soon used their height difference to his advantage and lashed out with a foot. At the same time, he reversed his hold on the other blade and spun, using the slippery floor and the momentum of his attempted spinning kick to bring the blade up in a swipe that briefly connected with the back of Cloud’s legs. It was this move that resulted in sending Cloud crashing to the floor.

However, Cloud was resourceful and resilient. Instead of just lying there in defeat, he used the fall to his advantage by rolling back up into a crouch, again, listening very carefully. Zack had also recovered as he rolled away and snatched up his dropped blade. Once more as they stood before each other, Cloud suddenly felt a chill engulf himself as he found his gaze being inexplicably drawn from watching Zack turn his head slowly from side to side, as if seeing the training hall around himself for the first time ever. Finally, he made his last turn, gazing at Cloud. He then bent his knees a bit and drew his right leg back, as if preparing a long-ranged attack. Eyeing him in confusion, the blonde could not help but wonder how Zack was going to do this and pull it off, for all he held were short swords…

This would only result in disaster, and luck either on his own end, or Zack’s, Cloud thought to himself as he saw Zack bend his knees slightly while drawing back his right leg even further. Cloud’s bright eyes widened a bit as he recognized that stance as Kaiten Kenbu. This was going to be interesting, for he knew that the style of fighting was more suited in a visual sense than against a blinded, weaker opponent.

“Kaiten Kenbu?” he whispered to his opponent.

“Eh?” Zack froze, craning his neck up and looking baffled.

“It’s a shinobi-specific sword style that—oh, never mind!” he quickly answered, knowing already that Zack wasn’t too keen on learning the specifics.

There was no reply from both young men as Zack suddenly threw one of his wooden kodachi toward Cloud at a very high speed before he swiftly charged straight at his ‘foe’. Cloud thought he had initially seen the second blade still in the youth’s hand, but it was not. The first blade reached Cloud, who dodged it by leaning to the side. As grand as that move was, Cloud unfortunately did not fully deflect the hidden second blade which had been thrown on exactly the same path as the first.

Gasping, Cloud raised his arms to block the sudden appearance of the second blade, and that was when Zack struck with a nearly blinding combination of quick punches and advancing footwork. This was far too difficult without Materia and a weapon he was comfortable and familiar with. He saw himself being forced back, slipping very slightly on the polished floor due to the speed in which he’d tried to use to counteract the attack. It wasn’t the end, however.

Cloud saw that even with the height advantage that Zack had over him, the speed in which the fiery youth was attacking was causing him to overbalance himself. That was proven only a second later when Cloud tested this by deliberately leaning back further than necessary, before lashing out and grabbing one of Zack’s outstretched arms. Strongly, he planted his right leg down, and pivoted.

However, like a nimble cat, Zack refused to go down. Aggressively, he turned himself into the pivot, regaining some semblance of his balance. While he stood tall, he targeted several pressure points, just as Cloud reached out with a free hand and did the same to him.

Locking his body rigidly in place, Cloud managed to send Zack spectacularly to the floor. The dark-haired male was now incapacitated from moving, and Cloud triumphed in spite of the good use of their mutual pressure point attacks. The entire exercise had taken less than five minutes to complete, from start to finish.

“A draw?” he heard Biggs ask as he stared at the two of them. With a chuckle, the young man tapped his hand against his thigh as he cheered, “You both rocked! You should be proud!”

“NO!” The loud, rambunctious screams from Zack stunned everyone in the dojo as they bounced off the walls.

Cocking his head in confusion at his friend, Cloud began to inquire what the deal was, when boldly, Zack strolled over to the wall behind himself. “I’m not yet finished, Cloud Strife!” he screamed in histrionic rage as he helped himself to a sharp, deadly Iaitō.

Jaw dropping, the owner of the dojo shouted at him, “What’re you doing?! Those aren’t for you!”

Waving the weapon like a madman, Zack hissed as he pointed at Cloud. “Come on, Cloud! What’re you waiting for?”

Cloud was stunned beyond belief. Was this _really_ the same Zack Fair he’d grown to admire, befriend, and care about like a brother?! No…looking at Zack as he stood now with his eyes dark and full of vengeance, Cloud felt like he was staring at a stranger. Zack looked like he wanted to murder him, and for once, Cloud was terrified.

While the young students ran out of the dojo in fright, Biggs hissed to Cloud desperately, “Cloud?! What’s going on?!”

Vying and opting to talk Zack out of whatever crazy, frenzied fit of madness he’d slipped into, Cloud held up his hands in a surrender. “Zack! This is insane! Put that down!”

Waving his weapon frantically, Zack bellowed out monstrously, “GRAB A WEAPON AND STOP TALKING!”

This was foolish and beyond insanity!! Cloud knew there was no other way to talk his friend out of this spell. Now, he had to fend for his own life, as Zack came charging at him like a wild bull. A table behind Cloud was rammed, and as the blonde swiftly leapt over it, he managed to swipe a long katana off it before Zack slammed down on the table. It cracked in half, and Cloud shivered, knowing that could’ve been his own body instead.

Once more, as Zack ran at him, Cloud had to wonder where he’d gone wrong. Wasn’t this supposedly to be friendly competition? Zack had reacted poorly upon being beaten, yes, but Cloud somehow sensed deeply in his gut that this was more than just an issue and matter of losing. Zack didn’t even look like himself as he zipped toward his friend. Skin alabaster, sweat rolling off his nose and forehead, eyes darker than usual, he looked like a demon.

Ferociously, his attacks were now all targeting and aiming for one-shot hits, which wasn’t normal. Zack was a skilled fighter; he knew the difference between hurting an enemy and then brutally maiming them. What he was going for was a killing blow. As he swiped at Cloud, Zack couldn’t seem to get a good, lethal hit. The more hits the dark-haired male lashed out with, the more his energy and breath became drained.

Though confused and frightened, Cloud kept his calm composure. He took himself back to the duels and practice sessions he’d had with Sephiroth, and far too naturally for his own good. Placing himself in the same position, he quickly ducked away from Zack’s charged attack as he had when Sephiroth had lunged at him in the same way.

This was different, yet it wasn’t. Photographic memory working rather well, Cloud’s body had almost perfectly memorized how to duck, dodge, and then block the attacks. He remained poised, going for more defensive techniques with the emphasis on evading as opposed to attacking. He needed to time this properly to work in a strong parry. Judging by Zack’s onslaught of brutal attacks, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Compared to the giant frame and equally impressive constitution Sephiroth often held, Zack was foolish, barbaric, and almost like a savage. Cloud knew he needed to gain an advantage fast before he fell victim to a mistimed blow.

Throughout the duel, the voice of Sephiroth channeling through Cloud’s katana grew louder and louder, almost a distraction, at first. Cloud remained calm and clever. He allowed himself the opportunity to sense his own growing strength. Though Zack was probably aiming to spill blood, Cloud needed only one deft move to disarm his friend. Though he knew that the katana he was wielding was still holding back from letting him draw on his full strength compared to his usual weapons of choice, this art lay in patience and pure skill as opposed to brawn and burliness.

As they struggled all throughout the main level of the dojo, Zack’s harsh, unforgiving blows destroyed anything and everything in sight. Expensive vases were broken into a hundred shards, but Cloud deflected each of them in time before they cut him. Low tables bearing hot tea were bashed and cut down. The paper-thin dividers and screens separating the various areas in the dojo were chopped away and strewn about. Pillows and sheets were torn, their feathers and downy cushions floating about through the air.

Zack took a moment to pause, growling and coughing as though he’d swallowed something. The Iaitō lowered, and he clenched his eyes shut tightly as he heaved and panted harshly.

In a moment of hesitation, Cloud misread his opponent’s movements. Rushing to Zack’s side, he tried touching the other man, but in an instant, Zack was on him. Trying to defend himself, Cloud raised his sword to block the incoming attack too late. His parry was broken and the large blade of the Iaitō grazed past his steel and plunged into the spot between his upper chest and left shoulder.

“Zack! Stop!” Cloud and Biggs both let out an anguished cry as the ex-SOLDIER’s blood was spilled and flesh torn. The force of the thrust pushed the injured young man back several steps before Zack knocked him down and pinned him to the wooden floor with the tip of the blade still buried in him. Biggs tried wrapping his free arm around Zack’s neck to pry him off, but Zack elbowed him in the chin and shoved him aside.

“Got you,” he snarled down at Cloud with a triumphant grin.

At this moment, Zack looked like he’d truly been possessed. His grin was sinisterly showing off blood-stained teeth. With added cruelty, Zack twisted the sharp point of the Iaitō that was still embedded in Cloud’s shoulder. Struggling, the blonde knew that if Zack continued grinding any harder and deeper, he would soon be cutting into the muscles and bone and rendering his left arm useless.

With another agonized scream, he wriggled beneath Zack, trying to salvage his strength and protect himself. Cloud gritted his teeth, the pain almost too much to bear. He still had a firm enough grip on the katana. Powerfully, he swung back at Zack vainly. Though he initially thought he had no leverage and strength to deliver a proper attack, he soon managed to take the opening presented to himself by a sudden intrusion.

A distraction suddenly appeared in the fray; a soft voice he couldn’t recognize that called out, _‘Finish him.’_

That was all he needed. Zack gasped, perhaps having heard the voice which Cloud assumed was only echoing in his own mind. Releasing the shorter male to gape up, he gave Cloud all the time to channel his attack. Roaring in retaliation, Cloud violently swung and spun the katana up in the air. Still not wanting to harm Zack, he bashed the handle of the weapon directly into the dark-haired youth’s forehead. Zack reared up, touching the sore area, and Cloud immediately flipped back onto his feet.

Ever so quick, his footwork was light enough to evade most of Zack’s final, desperate attacks. As he avoided them all, Cloud strongly felt raw energy and power throb within himself, as if excited by the duel. But still, he wasn’t able to find the opportune moment for a good counter strike. If he attacked too quickly, he would lose. If he attacked too late, then it was all over. Inhaling deeply, Cloud saw the precise moment when Zack leapt off his feet, no doubt wanting to sail through the air so he could bring his weapon down and run him through. If he didn’t stop it, the sharp blade would make a clean cut.

Timing was key, and his instincts informed him that he had just under three seconds. This was a matter of exactness and refined precision. This was to be felt; not seen by the naked eye.

Three…two…one…

_Now._

Before Zack could land on him weapon first, Cloud spun around, and very perfectly, he aimed a roundhouse kick right for the center of Zack’s chest. The potent power behind the move connected with the aggressive man’s sternum, sending him flying back. Zack sailed right through the air, his back smashing right into the thin, sliding doors of the dojo. Breaking through them, he knocked them off their hinges, and along with them, he went soaring into the grass. Rolling over a few times, he eventually came to a halt when he landed right into a small pond close to the gates.

It was finally done.

Reaching up into his hair, Cloud yanked the hairband off. Tossing it to the floor, he abandoned it there, completely forgetting about the black feather lying beneath it.

* * *

Shout out to AO3 user [KazehanaTenshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazehanaTenshi/pseuds/KazehanaTenshi)

This beautiful work was drawn by them, and I especially love how adorable Cloud looks with the feather hair scrunchie! 

Links to this amazing work, as well as their Facebook page and AO3: 

<https://sta.sh/0s87g791oee>

<https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazehanaTenshi/pseuds/KazehanaTenshi>

<https://www.facebook.com/thetenshiarts/>

Thank you so much for your amazing work, friend! I adore it, and I know my readers shall, too! 💖💕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zack became a mini-boss, and Cloud got a gift for Sephiroth?! Wut???


	21. Devious Twilight

The profuse bleeding and stinging of the wound in his shoulder as the wind blew through it didn’t matter to Cloud. He was more than concerned about what had happened to Zack, and until he solved that grating mystery, he wasn’t going to rest. Hastily, he made his way to the front of the dojo, ignoring the damage. There was far too much of it to bewray, but the burning mysteries surrounding Zack Fair were of a greater priority, at least where Cloud was concerned.

Once all the noise, madness, and danger had died away, the bald, shiny head of the dojo owner poked out through the shattered doorway. With a strained cry, the horrified owner waved his arms wildly, shrieking keenly, “My dojo! You ruined my dojo!! LOOK!!”

True to his word, the entire front yard of the dojo was a mess. The earth and vegetation had been uprooted as the door and Zack had sailed across it with enough force and friction to leave the marks and trail behind. Paper flitted about in the gentle breeze of the evening, shards of glass, bits of broken wood, as well as slippers and dark sandals were strewn about all over the place. It looked as though a hurricane had rummaged through the small establishment, truly.

Cloud unfortunately wasn’t interested in ‘looking’, right now. Sliding and leaping off the engawa, he fled towards Zack. The other knocked-out young man faintly groaned, gently touching his head as though waking up from a horrible and painful sleep. Before Cloud got a word in, the gate leading to the dojo banged open, and a feminine scream broke through the sound barrier.

“CLOUD! What’re you doing?!” Aerith’s horrific cries of shock stopped him abruptly. As Cloud raised his head, he saw Tifa and Aerith running at him urgently.

Zack sat up, shaking his head once, and then rubbing his forehead and temples a few times. Wincing, he drew his hands away from his skull, examining them as though checking for blood. With a pained groan, when Aerith and Tifa landed on their knees next to him, he hissed, “I’m fine…uh…ooww!” Pushing Aerith’s hands away, he winced and hissed while she fussed over him.

Tifa examined Cloud, next, and it didn’t take too long for her to notice the gash in Cloud’s shoulder. Her wayment poured out of herself emphatically, though she touched Cloud’s arm softly. “What happened, Cloud?!”

Fixing her with a wearish glare, Cloud tastelessly spat, “Ask Zack; he did this to me.”

Emphasizing his point by gesturing at his wound, he loomed over Zack, ignoring how Aerith protectively shielded him. Standing close to his fallen friend, Cloud studied his face, noticing that it wasn’t ghostly pale any longer, and his eyes weren’t dark and menacing. If anyone had to ask, _this_ visage was the one Zack Fair often wore, and he looked like himself once again.

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice softly called to him, emotions running rampant all throughout. “What the hell was that crap back there?”

Moving himself out of the cold water of the tiny pond, Zack cringed and answered, “I…I don’t know, Cloud! I c-can’t even remember anything well s-since you kicked me right out the damn door!” Almost boyishly, he cradled his skull as he whined in a shrill voice, “My head!!”

Upon hearing this, after a long, painstaking moment of what Cloud could only assume was realization, Aerith’s hands shook. Focusing on protecting her lover, she boisterously cried in anguish and pugnacity, “Cloud! How could you?! What’s wrong with you?! You’ve been acting weird ever since Zack showed up!”

As her exuberant, agitated voice pierced the air, Biggs limped right up to the busted doorway of the dojo. Leaning against one side, he grimaced as he looked around, assessing the damage. His bandanna slipped off his head, and he caught it before it fluttered to the floor.

Tifa nodded as she agreed with Aerith. Her modena-colored eyes narrowed angrily as she stood a few inches back and looked at Cloud from head to toe. Judgmentally, she hissed, “Cloud! If you have some sort of issue with Zack, this isn’t the way to go about it!”

Throwing his arms down, Cloud critically snapped, “I _don’t_ have an issue with Zack! He is—he _was_ my best friend!”

Evidently, that had been the wrong choice of words. Aerith’s light-colored eyebrows flew up before they furrowed in a tight knot. _“Was_ your best friend?!” she reiterated and then gasped in horror. “Cloud! You’re jealous of Zack!”

Oh for crying out loud. Cloud never wanted to be biased or cruel, but he sometimes couldn’t avoid it. Aerith and Tifa especially were sometimes beyond prone to exaggeration and severely querimonious. They leapt to such stupid conclusions, and had done so, before, but this was by far the worst of them.

Touching his wounded shoulder, he thickly stated, “I’m _not_ jealous! It’s not like that!”

Jaw quivering as he stood and shook water off himself, Zack looked weak and so small as his soaked, traditional gi clung to his frame. How could one man go rapidly from appearing so murderous, vicious, deadly, and lethal, to cowardly, meek, small, and meager? The conundrum hit Cloud like a steady hammer, but guilt soon poured in and reflected on his face. He’d never meant to harm his friend this way, and he truly knew how insane this all looked.

Limping over to them, Biggs tried regulating his breaths as he held onto his satchel and items. Clearly distraught, he paused for a second before he blurted to Tifa and Aerith, “It was just a friendly competition between guys; it was my fault, I suggested it, but I—yeeeouch!”

Aerith pinched his ear, yanking tightly and firmly on the lobe as she stretched it almost comically. “Biggs! You nearly got my Zack killed because of this?! Youuuu!”

Screaming and wailing in pain, Biggs tore away from her, but Aerith pursued doggedly. “Don’t you skedaddle away from me! Get back here, Biggs! You blockhead!” As Aerith ran after him, the dojo owner began chasing her. Over and over again, the three individuals, each irate in their own manner, ran around the front of the dojo in circles.

While they flew about the front yard of the dojo with the minatory owner hot on their trail, no doubt asking who was going to cover the costs for the damage, Cloud slipped away. He couldn’t tolerate simply standing there while everyone doubted him and thought he was some kind of mad, feral beast set loose and foisted upon them. This was already degrading enough.

Not even Tifa’s desperate wails and cries stopped him, and he made the journey all by himself back to his room. Cloud slammed the door tightly once he’d made it, cursing about in the darkness of the room. He’d wanted to speak with Aerith about a plan to break the soul bond, but he may as well kiss that goodbye, now. With Zack hurt, she wouldn’t want to help Cloud anytime soon. Perfect. Just what he’d needed all along.

Throwing the bag of the marbles onto his large, cream-colored futon, Cloud opted for taking a seat, himself. His knees felt like a puddle of mush and jelly, his head felt heavy, and his cyanic eyes were turning wet and far too blurry. Drenched in sweat even though it was cooler indoors, his heart rate increased drastically, and he harshly shivered all throughout his body involuntarily.

_‘Not this again!’_

As he plopped down onto the futon, he failed to notice a shadow perching next to himself.

“Hello, Cloud.”

Even though he knew it was Sephiroth, Cloud still leapt a foot in the air. His shoulders slumped upward, and fresh pangs of proliferating pain slammed into himself. Groaning from it, he gingerly touched the injured area as he hissed, “Were you just waiting for me this entire time?” Snorting, he found he couldn’t accept the idea of Sephiroth patiently hanging out in his room, in the dark, much like a silly spouse until their loved one returned to them.

Since when did Sephiroth even care enough to listen and respect anyone’s wishes? It was stupid, and Cloud tossed it right out the window before it took up any more space in his aching head.

Though Sephiroth remained quiet for a moment, his eyes portrayed plenty to Cloud. Sephiroth always had a knack for saying a lot without needing to use many words, and right now, Cloud despised his senior even more for it.

Bluntly, he glared at Sephiroth as he groused, “Shut up.”

Sephiroth’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead as he bit out gruffly, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to; I saw it all in your eyes.”

It was then that he again noticed the sharp pain in his shoulder Zack’s blade had caused, but he said nothing for the time being. Leaning his back into the softness of the futon, Cloud realized he was too exhausted to complain. For now, he was content as he sat motionless. He couldn’t move a single body part. Everything hurt. Not to mention, he was still slightly pissed off with both Sephiroth and Zack, but he couldn’t do anything for the mysterious aspects lingering about regarding his best friend’s shady behavior as of late. He just sat emptily in the swirling pool of crimson and white that had formed beneath the fabric of his clothes.

Eyeing it wearily, Sephiroth warned softly, “Cloud…the wound.”

“Now’s not a good time.” Cloud wished that he were more flexible so that he could have given the older man a swift kick to the head. However, he could only fling his angry thoughts back and forth helplessly as his world of comprehension was enveloped in darkness and furtiveness.

Not letting it go, Sephiroth gingerly tried to touch it, but Cloud shoved his hand away viciously.

“Don’t touch me, you creepy bastard.” He didn’t know how to say that he thought this was all Sephiroth’s doing without it seeming insane. The blood was rushing to his open wound, and he was rapidly losing his strength. Soon, he doubted he would even be able to speak…

Leaning close to him, Sephiroth’s warm breath grazed over his sensitive neck and ear. “My, such foul language.” Pointedly, he emphasized, “Whatever shall I do with that mouth of yours, Cloud?”

Imagination running wild at the minatory question, Cloud then began to feel a pain between his legs, a burning pain he wanted to go away. Hoping he wouldn’t sport an erection right now, he quickly imagined Barret walking around in a yellow dress, and that did the trick in a split second. Unfortunately, as he stalled, Sephiroth leaned even closer to the younger man and ran his fingers through Cloud’s hair. Cloud tried the only defensive motion he thought he could manage and hit the One Winged Angel’s hand away, the effort almost causing himself to fall down again.

Voice stern, Cloud surmised, “Are you checking to see if I’m alive?” Crudely, he laughed in a semi-deranged way, “Well, shitty luck for you is that I’m fine. Gonna have to wait for another disadvantage.”

Sephiroth patiently spoke out, “Remaining combative and adversarial is admirable, but it’s going to result in your own defeat.”

Cloud’s anger began to climb until he made up his mind that this spoiled monster was going to get the pain that was coming to him and Cloud didn’t care about consequences. Tongue like a sword, sharp and ready, he lashed out cruelly.

“More stupid words I don’t need to hear.” Waving Sephiroth off with his good hand, he cringed as fresh pain struck him in the center of his gut. “Just be quiet and let me rest for a second.”

Unfortunately, where Cloud had implied for the word ‘second’ to mean more than a few minutes of quiet, Sephiroth took it quite literally. Hardly a second ticked by before the older male huffed impatiently and began fussily nudging Cloud.

“Get up and do something about that wound; you’ll bleed all over the place and risk infecting it.”

Cloud’s uncontrollable rage escalated. Was anything ever enough for him? Just as Cloud began to administer harsh expletives, Sephiroth tried pushing aside the torn flaps of his clothing, no doubt to try and access the area of injury better.

Hatefully, Cloud threw out, “Why don’t _you_ do something about it since you’re so concerned?”

Arrogantly taking the argument another step, Sephiroth fired back, “Why don’t _you_ allow me to help you, then?”

On his last nerve, Cloud fiercely spat, “Why don’t you just shut—” As he’d spun himself around on his futon seat, he froze. His eyes snapped up to find Sephiroth observing him with something indefinable in his eyes. Tongue darting out to lick his lower lip, Cloud felt the heat pool hard and fast in his groin as he saw Sephiroth follow the movement with his gaze.

“…Up…”

Sephiroth was so damn close. Their noses and lips hovered half an inch apart, and Cloud was too stunned to move. From this angle, Cloud discovered that Sephiroth’s skin was smoother than his own, and superbly flawless. Not a single mark or scar graced his flesh. Nothing that suggested the One Winged Angel had taken serious blows or hits to the facial area remained, if at all.

Not moving to seal the gap, Sephiroth smirked playfully as he purred hungrily, “Cloud.” The words came from Sephiroth on a rumble, deep, resonant and deliberately succinct, his terminal ‘d’ ending in a soft ‘pop’ of sorts as he toyed with his junior’s first name.

The panic rose in Cloud’s eyes, and he felt his throat constricting as he again took into consideration just how closely their bodies were next to each other. Knees and thighs rubbing sensually, heat was shared, pooling back and forth between them.

Everything coalesced into one bright pinpoint of light, blinding and intense. Innately, Cloud tipped his head back, angling his head for a deeper, more intimate touch. Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed, but they never wandered low enough to stare at his junior’s mouth. He was assessing Cloud in his own way, but he surprisingly wasn’t touching Cloud or doing anything else.

The silence stretched between them, their stare becoming almost unbearably intimate and titillating. Sephiroth leaned closer, and he was soon near enough for Cloud to be able to sense and feel his body heat steaming from his bare chest. Cloud had to steel himself from swaying and swooning into it.

Damn. Sephiroth was _so_ close; he could hear every breath, feel every pant against his skin. The older male’s chest pressed against Cloud’s when the youth leaned in slightly, but it soon became obvious that Sephiroth wasn’t trying for anything intimate. Those eyes were fierce; they brooked no argument. His main priority was the wound, and he wasn’t going to debate it any longer, no matter what form that took.

A little whimper escaped Cloud’s throat, and his mouth opened to apologize for everything going so horribly cockeyed. But then, for whatever reason, his eyes fell to Sephiroth’s lovely lips. Gaping, Cloud studied them closely, beyond stunned. They were quite alluring…compelling…he was drawn to them. Shit. He had been very thorough in his studying and examining. Exhaustively so…lasciviously so…

“Cloud?”

Aggression sweeping clean out of himself, Cloud sighed eagerly, “Sephiroth…”

Evidently, that hadn’t been the right way to utter his foe’s name out. Not at all chuffed by what he’d been hearing, Sephiroth gently pushed Cloud in the shoulder using his own chest mildly. It’d been done to grab his attention and force him out of whatever the hell he’d nearly fallen into.

The spell was broken. The magic ended right then and there and feeling fright akin to how one instinctively did as they teetered over the ledge of a high point or building, Cloud’s stomach bottomed out. How humiliating!! He was sitting there almost halfway onto Sephiroth, not at all minding the need for personal space, and not at all considering how his wanton manhood was responding to the warmth and proximity of another body near his own.

Sephiroth’s eyes glanced at the wound, and he stiffly sat with his hands in his lap. “Your bleeding will stop, but you should address that wound, now.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t fuss over me,” Cloud harshly snapped, turning away from Sephiroth when the older male tried to peer over at his wound properly. Mortified, still, he detested how easily he’d been the subject of much prurient curiosity as of late. What was he, thirteen?!

After assessing the injured area for a moment, Sephiroth blandly commented like a declaration, “I believe that was more than ‘friendly competition’.”

Frustrated, Cloud exclaimed pointedly, “I thought I asked you to stay out of my business!”

Sephiroth shrewdly answered in a second, “We both know that would never happen, Cloud.” A lopsided grin formed on his face as he pushed out, “How could it? We’re tied together, now.”

Regretfully reminded once again that this had all happened due to his own ignorance and negligence, Cloud swiftly changed the topic of the conversation. Nodding at his wound, he inquired sourly, “How’d you know I got in a fight, anyway?”

Sephiroth actually threw him a bland look that seemed to shout out: ‘Do you even _need_ to be asking this?’

Pausing, Cloud blinked as he exhaled, “What?! Can’t I know?”

Shaking his head once, Sephiroth calmly declaimed, “All one has to do is follow the sounds of screaming, struggling, and the smell of fire to know you’re involved, Cloud.” Sitting back, he supplied didactically, “It wasn’t difficult.”

“Well, that still doesn’t help the fact that now _everyone_ thinks I’m crazy, and I’m probably not allowed to ever go out into the village ever again!” Flicking a few drops of blood down at the floor, Cloud hissed, “I want to get out of here!”

Suddenly, the stark realization bashed him in both the brain and heart at once.

…He _could_ …

Remembering the things Sephiroth was capable of, and the powers he wielded, Cloud quickly turned to the taller male. “C-can we get out of here, please?” When Sephiroth took too much time, not even reacting, Cloud expounded strongly, “Time won’t go by too quickly here, so can’t we just leave for a while?”

Stunned, Sephiroth recovered rather swiftly before the passive expression settled over his handsome features again. “Don’t make excuses; it shows your own incompetence, above all else.”

Impetuously, Cloud whined, “I’m not! I just can’t stand it here right now!”

And that had been the most earnest way to put it mildly. He felt cast out, alienated, and was no doubt going to receive the worst tongue lashing from Aerith, especially. He wasn’t ready to stand trial and face the consequences, and he didn’t care how impotent and impudent he appeared in front of Sephiroth. Cloud wished to save his sanity and dignity above all else, for now.

Gazing across the room out the windows, a rather pensive expression crossed over Sephiroth’s features. Contemplating it for a few seconds, he slowly opened his mouth as he sighed half-heartedly, “Alright. Let’s go.”

All too eagerly awaiting the moment he could actually escape from his problems in order to seek temporary satisfaction and relief, Cloud forgot all about the bag of luminous marbles that had been intended to serve as Sephiroth’s gift.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Sephiroth brought them back to the same mansion as before, and once Cloud tended to his wounds, he felt a lot better. Cognizant now, he wandered the main bed chamber. Nothing stuck out to him a lot at first. Everything seemed orderly and properly fashioned, just like last time. What had he even been expecting? Dead bodies? Animal corpses? Trophies Sephiroth collected?

No…no matter how much Cloud despised Sephiroth, all those abrasive images and gruesome thoughts never stuck. It was all plain exaggeration and silliness from an overactive mind. If anything, the weirdest experience and knowledge came to him in the fact that one of his most hated and most formidable enemies had not only helped him heal up, but was tending to him quite cautiously, to boot. That was still too much to process by itself.

Tensed to make his move, Cloud froze as the potent moonlight seeping in between the lace curtains on the window picked out a familiar shimmer. His action-primed muscles untensed as the amount of worry and concern for Zack, Avalanche, their future, as well as the true nature behind his indelible soul bond with Sephiroth grew substantially.

Sephiroth sat a few feet away from him, calm and collected. No words had been spoken for some time. Cloud helped himself to some delicious sake after healing and patching himself up. Since Sephiroth wasn’t exactly good company and wasn’t keen on speaking, Cloud looked around the room instead. His eyes bounced in tedium from painting to painting, not really drawing in any feelings or sensations.

At the end of the far row of paintings and portraits, his eyes froze and landed almost automatically on the beautiful visage of an enigmatic young woman with kind, brown eyes. She wore red earrings, and had her long brown hair pulled into a high ponytail with a full, straight fringe. Cloud immediately recognized her as the woman from his faint memories when he’d visited the cemetery with Zack. It just _had_ to be the same woman!

Pointing up at the portrait, he gasped, “I’ve seen her before in my dreams!”

The unknown in his odd declaration left Sephiroth primed for action. He sat tense in breathless anticipation before he sharply hissed, “Dreaming of women so freely, are we?” Clicking his tongue against his teeth in a clearly obvious move of disapproval, he commented, “That would be dishonest and disloyal, wouldn’t it?”

“Not like that!” Cloud groused at him, watching completely alert as his companion chuckled and got up. Sephiroth wandered over close, only ceasing when he paused at his bedside.

There was no weapon in his hand, no overt threat. Every instinct Cloud owned was telling himself that this was his partner; not his querulous enemy looking to harm him. After all, at his wish, Sephiroth had brought him here, allowed him to heal, and hadn’t even threatened him. Sitting there on the bed, dressed in his dark haori and black hakama pants, Cloud’s indecision was almost palpable.

Mildly facetious, he asked as he glanced up at the lepid woman, “Who is she, anyway? An old girlfriend of yours?” Snickering as he finished his little fatuous joke, he wondered more about the woman. A twinge of jealousy somehow hit Cloud, then. How could it be that Sephiroth had a girlfriend or a lover? What if it honestly was true? Was she a secret lover from his past?

….

Why was he jealous?!

Tossing it off to a rivalry of men and considering how he’d hardly fought up the courage to ask Tifa out on a proper date, Cloud felt innervated when it appeared that Sephiroth had better luck with reeling in women. But was that truly the reason and purpose of his jealousy?

Hoping that was the case, Cloud hung his head low and affirmed to himself, “The universe hates me.”

Sephiroth didn’t offer any words, so Cloud pressed on. Again, he inquired brusquely, “Who is that woman?”

Stoic and silent as ever, Sephiroth regarded Cloud with quite the determined look. A strong will and powerful seat of ambitions were his greatest strengths, not at all deterred by mere mockery from his junior.

“I don’t know, and frankly,” Sephiroth growled as he turned away from the portrait, sneering down at Cloud as though he’d stolen something precious and valuable, “I don’t care in particular.” Finishing his statement, Sephiroth sat at the edge of the bed, though he avoided eye contact a few times before he got comfortable enough with staring at Cloud.

The fractious youth chuckled crudely, “Okay, no need to bite my head off.”

Again, Sephiroth had fallen too quiet and too still. About to inquire if something were wrong, the words froze in Cloud’s throat, choked by his body’s helpless reaction to the almost moonlit glow around Sephiroth. The tall, charismatic warrior was so pale, almost ghostly, like some vision snatched out of a dream. Mystery seemed to crackle around his still figure like static electricity. Suddenly, Sephiroth was a creature of the night, a wraith of quicksilver and shadows, almost unearthly in his beauty.

A whitish glint of gossamer silver hair or flashing eye, his face paler than alabaster...that was all Cloud could pick out in the low light. Sephiroth’s expression and intent were lost to the cloaking shadows. 

Cloud knew that he ought to make some type of challenge. At the very least, he thought he could ask Sephiroth what he was doing and thinking about, but the irked blonde was loathed to break the spell. Whatever the reason for it, Sephiroth always shielded his mind from Cloud. The younger male supposed he had his secrets, and he wanted for them to lie hidden away interminably, perhaps. That was a big red flag that Cloud had to go around poking and hunting for answers, but he wasn’t going to let Sephiroth have the opportunity to sniff away at what he was planning.

Coolly, Cloud gazed around the room as he asked, “What _is_ this place, anyway?”

Not even hesitating, Sephiroth softly replied without resorting to pillory, voice never above a whisper, “The Shinra Mansion…or how I remember it, anyway.”

Cloud bit his lip before he rasped briskly, “The one in Nibelheim?” Feeling peeved, he tried standing, but Sephiroth lay a hand over his.

Shaking his head, he wistfully stated, “No. We’re only in a version of what it once was.” When Cloud grumbled, Sephiroth added confrontationally, “Don’t be so daft. I wouldn’t dare set foot in that bloody—”

“My home,” Cloud emotionally pressed out. “That was my home, you know. You took it all away from me.”

Their eyes met, and as both men glowered at each other with equal amounts of annoyance and aggravation, Sephiroth took to staring at Cloud’s hair.

Running a hand through it when he leaned in, his chin and chest gently made contact with Cloud’s forehead. Forcing himself not to breathe in Sephiroth’s scent, lest he wanted for an imbalanced set of feelings to pour in, Cloud drew himself away from the faint touches and turned his head to the side defiantly.

“You should stop doing that,” he began, swallowing so he could clear his air passage and throat. As he shuddered, Sephiroth eyed a stray bang flopping over the top of his head, and he gently yanked and straightened it out before himself with a tremendously curious fixation.

Cloud bemoaned in addition, “It feels weird, and I don’t like what you did to my hair, before.”

Chuckling, Sephiroth placed his hands in his own lap and shook his head at his junior’s minor insolence. “Then fix it however you like,” he suggested, turning away from Cloud but choosing to remain on the bed. “I can allow that, but I can’t promise I’ll be able to refrain from touching you.”

Nearly exploding in both rage and total humiliation, Cloud reproached in a roar, “It’s weird, Sephiroth! We’re both _men!”_

He hated repeating himself, but it seemed like Sephiroth wasn’t comprehending the deeper message, here. Not wanting to leap ahead to conclusions, Cloud forcefully kept his own mouth shut instead of blurting away the things he’d wanted to ask all along. Whatever gender Sephiroth preferred, and whomever he chose to lay with wasn’t his concern. His egotistical proclivities were his own business, but Cloud knew he was curious, anyway.

Fulgent hair slipping and falling over his cheeks and chest, Sephiroth glanced between the odd spaces they created and took a good, long look at Cloud. When he’d been successful in rendering Cloud shy and quiet, he smirked before speaking carefully.

“A man can most certainly bring pleasure to another man; it’s not unheard of.”

Stomach churning even imagining it, Cloud bemoaned, “I don’t want to have ‘the talk’ with you…” Nose wrinkling in displeasure, he hissed, “Let’s just agree to leave each other alone.”

Disobeying, Sephiroth immediately purred like a large jungle cat. “A man knows another man’s body better than a woman, Cloud. It’s nothing to run away from or be ashamed of.”

“Yeah, still gonna say a huge _‘no’_ to that one.”

Though he was rough and harsh in his delivery, when both men glanced away from each other, they were lightly smiling. Unbeknownst to themselves, they were genuinely and sincerely relaxed. For Cloud, it’d been the first encounter he’d truly enjoyed, especially after all the tumultuous madness and insanity that had befallen himself.

Refreshing…in every way possible, it was the very definition of ‘refreshing’.


	22. Red Lotus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what? I think THIS by far is actually my favorite chapter.

“You drink more than any of the infantrymen I’ve ever seen, Cloud.”

“And _you_ complain more than any parent I’ve ever met, Sephiroth.”

Cloud sat down comfortably on the stone steps outside in the grand courtyard on a lovely, somnolent day. A bottle of rich Dragonspring Sake rested on his lap, which he held onto tightly between both hands as Sephiroth paced around leisurely. Though initially complacent enough to gift Cloud with the drink, Sephiroth appeared to be regretting his decision when Cloud had consumed half the bottle in less than twenty minutes. Though not at all even heady and ‘tipsy’ by any stretch, Cloud was definitely more verbose and loquacious after a few generous intakes of the beverage. Alcohol always brought that out of him, shifting and morphing his personality into a more talkative shadow of himself he never wished for others to see.

Not at all mortified or held back by his mental and social filters as he normally would’ve been without inebriation in the way, Cloud commented semi-rudely to his senior ex-SOLDIER, “Come to think of it, you’d make a shitty father.”

Vexation worked itself through Sephiroth, from his eyebrows twitching, eyelids squinting at Cloud, and his stance turning rigid and stiff. Lips jerking awkwardly, he composed himself rather well before he snarled condescendingly, “Thank you for your senseless opinion, Cloud.”

“On second thought, you’d be a terrible older brother, too…”

Eyeing the bottle as though it were something destructive and dangerous, Sephiroth thunderously growled, “You’ll drink yourself out of here, Cloud. Put that away.”

Nearly hiccupping, Cloud held his breath before his index finger danced into the air. “Nooope. I’ve been told I fight better when drunk. Might fit that into my practices.” Swaying, he offered his senior ex-SOLDIER a rather lopsided grin before playfully and unabashedly winking at him.

Looking abhorred by the idea, Sephiroth warned mordantly, “I’ll take away every bit of heinous sake for the remainder of your stay, here.”

Resting back on his elbows, mien nonplussed, Cloud grunted, “Nah, but maybe you should try some.” Holding the bottle up, he dangled it in the air as he laughed playfully. “Looks like you could use it to ease some of your nerves.”

As always, that ended the conversations, and Sephiroth kept a rather mordacious glare in his eyes whenever Cloud smirked egotistically at him.

Their relationship changed from that point onward. Cloud and Sephiroth started becoming…friendly with one another. They usually spent time together going for long, slow walks around the mansion’s gardens and vast courtyards. They could get lost for hours that way in their own conversation, which some days almost entailed Cloud mocking Sephiroth like a little puppy nipping at his heels. Cloud’s every visit meant hours of simple conversation before they both reluctantly adhered to their duties. They talked and dueled, talked and dueled, over and over again plenty of times to form a pleasant routine they settled into.

For a while, Cloud forgot about his issues. He was happy, as odd as it felt for him to admit it to himself. His ‘lessons’ with Sephiroth even paid off rather well. He was learning and picking up on a lot, but when he lost, there was annoyance. It endlessly even burdened Sephiroth, who certainly didn’t feel very good whenever he ‘killed’ Cloud, but so long as he defeated the young blonde, he would come back the next day after sulking, and they would talk again like two friends.

Sephiroth attended to him, but he never smothered him. Food was always aplenty and to be found, and the silver-haired male usually never questioned Cloud. He allowed him to dine whenever he wanted, to drink whenever he wanted, all without an exorbitant price for his freedom. They each had their private rooms, but they still felt so close. Now that Sephiroth was physically near, Cloud hardly felt sick pangs of deeper longing and want coursing through his system. It was as though the nature of the bond sensed they were within close proximity of one another, and it was satisfied enough with their temporary living arrangement.

Over time, however, suspicion began to gnaw at Cloud like termites in a fallen tree. Certain aspects of their continued meetings didn’t quite add up. While Cloud could ignore it and push it away to the back of his mind for a few days on end, certain aspects of Sephiroth’s behavior struck his conscience and blew up like red warning flags.

Though they were on more civil terms and got along well, Sephiroth still was reserved, stoic, and quite dour at times. He avoided particular topics of conversation avidly, and in some circumstances, he skirted around them with a surprising level of social guile that would have been right at home among the nobility of a King looking down on his peasants for voicing their grievous concerns.

Sephiroth never seemed to want to discuss Jenova, the odd woman in the portrait, his own dreams, his past, or much of the bond. He would sometimes be more willing on ‘good days’ to boast about his combat and a few missions he’d been sent out on, but those were rare occasions, and often disappeared far too quickly for Cloud’s tastes.

In all his vainglory, he would rant and brag, and then when Cloud ventured to ask a question, Sephiroth would freeze up randomly. As though remembering he suddenly had said too much, he would dismiss it all and walk away. It seemed as though he would always wield control not to disclose too much…

This truly was grating and taxing, especially for Cloud. A few times, he’d tried to gently inquire about what Sephiroth remembered, what he dreamed of, and what exactly Jenova’s powers over the Lifestream and planet were. Cloud wasn’t daft; he thought he could gain some answers, and mostly because of how Sephiroth had opened up to him lately. He knew that something had changed within Sephiroth. Gone was his harsh, cold, removed exterior, and instead, it almost seemed as if bits and pieces of his humanity had been restored.

Was that because of the bond??

Sephiroth never told him, but Cloud held his own theories. He worked with those theories, but the days and hours of his ‘freedom’ around Sephiroth were soon limited. He wasn’t allowed to venture much around the mansion alone, and there were many doors and areas locked and completely closed off to his reach.

Why? Had he been the fool, the delusional one to assume that since he’d gotten situated in the mansion, and since he shared a strange bond with Sephiroth, that would automatically mean he gained free rights and privileges to do as he wanted and desired at any given moment without a cost?

Yes, it seemed he’d incorrectly placed himself under that assumption. Sephiroth never hinted at such assertions, himself. He never said a word about the sealed off and locked doors and areas in the mansion, and from what Cloud could tell, Sephiroth never wandered in those rooms himself, either. To Sephiroth, perhaps they never existed, so discussing them was futile.

Then there was the trifling manner in which they fought. For as long as he could remember in their duels, Cloud felt he’d been steadily growing more and more proficient. Practice made him far more confident and a lot stronger. Under Sephiroth’s tutelage, he’d learned many new skills and tactics.

Recently, though, he’d not noted any improvement in himself, especially on the days Sephiroth chose to converse with him or purposefully go too easy on him. Sephiroth wasn’t interested in challenging him much lately, and Cloud had to wonder why. Most days, he didn’t even have to try; Sephiroth would ask him to set his weapon down, and he’d offer him fresh fruit and Dragonspring Sake. As Cloud ate and drank, they would chat, or sometimes sit in silence together, watching as the sun went down.

This was quite the peculiar turn of events. In the course of their battle, if they sometimes got around to it, Cloud noticed more changes in Sephiroth. If he would make an egregious mistake that Sephiroth in the past would normally exploit to defeat him, lately, the One Winged Angel seemed like he was no longer interested in winning or mocking his junior.

Cloud couldn’t help but begin to feel as if he’d stopped trying to win. Even Sephiroth’s facial expressions had completely reversed. Where he’d once seemed bored and exhausted to fight Cloud, almost as though the skirmish wasn’t at all challenging for himself, now, he appeared visibly concerned, alert, and eager, as though holding back and refraining from unleashing deadly attacks that would lead him to victory.

None of it was normal and becoming of Sephiroth…at least not the cold, calculating, nefandous Sephiroth Cloud once knew.

Whatever the case, Cloud wasn’t able to figure it out, nor could he just plainly ask. Sephiroth kept his secrets and privacy dearly close, and he didn’t appear to want to reveal them, yet.

After another sweaty, intense day of laborious training, Sephiroth chose to cut the arduous practices off and opted they enjoy the rest of the evening inside the mansion together. Vehemently disagreeing, Cloud recalled gazing across the horizon past one of his windows and espying a large meadow looming ahead. Curiosity had burned regarding the open meadow, and he wished to check it out.

Though he initially dismissed such a preposterous idea, even Sephiroth had to eventually agree that a change of scenery was what they needed. Or, perhaps it was the nature of the soul bond bending him to please Cloud whenever possible. That’s what Cloud liked to believe, anyway.

Once Cloud finished bathing and dressing for the occasion, Sephiroth stopped by his private chambers to escort him outside. Strangely, due to the way Cloud had dressed so elegantly, even though he was wearing something informal, he felt quite relaxed. Hair hanging into his regular fashioned bangs in the front and pushed back in the way he liked it, along with his casual dark clothes almost identical to his uniform, he felt warm and comfortable enough not to wear gloves on such an occasion.

Sephiroth dressed the same as he always had, but as he walked next to Cloud, the youth couldn’t help but wonder if this was somehow a date. Was it? Was it a special date in Sephiroth’s mind? He automatically thought back to the dates he’d shared with Aerith and Tifa, and while they obviously couldn’t compare to this due to the gender of the person he was now with, there was a distinction here he couldn’t ignore.

Before he could hearken to it, however, they’d reached the hills and walked down the steep slope into the open field. The sun was setting, and their timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Sephiroth waited for Cloud to settle down on a thick, full patch of soft grass, and then he took his place at his side. No words were exchanged until the sky’s colors morphed from orange pink to a steady blue purple.

Beneath them, the grass felt full, luscious, and rather warm. The dry soil left their clothes clean, and the sight of the open meadow was peaceful enough to nearly lull them both into a serene state. The wind whistled past their ears, and the gentle breeze kissed along Cloud’s warm skin. He let out a satiated sigh once the wind did quite a lot in the way of cooling his body temperature.

Without giving it much of a thought, he snuck in a discreet glance at Sephiroth. He found his companion to be sitting down cross-legged next to himself, and it was quite the sight. Cloud really had to focus intently on the still night and wonderful ambiance, otherwise, he knew he would break out in laughter.

Shortly, however, Sephiroth introduced a new topic for them to discuss.

Smirking in a mildly goofy way, he asked, “Do you remember our first meeting?”

“Ugh, who could forget?” Cloud joked, settling back onto the grass as the memories poured in generously. He was years younger, far more innocent, and so lively. Zack stood close by, looking proud as ever, and Cloud formed a perfect line with another two Shinra infantrymen. As always, back then, he’d been so eager to impress, and it showed so greatly in all areas and aspects of his work and character.

He remembered the exact way in which his heart thrummed and pounded in his sternum the moment he heard footsteps approaching a few feet away. Sephiroth’s enchanting eyes had been the first thing he’d noticed, and then his long mass of beautiful hair. It looked so smooth and silky, that Cloud found himself automatically wanting to run his fingers through it.

…But he never would be able to do that. He remembered feeling so ashamed for even entertaining that thought for a second, and he took to standing tall and alert. Oh, how hopeful he’d been that Sephiroth would perhaps take notice of him…only to talk or greet him for a moment…

_“By the way, where are we going?”_

Zack’s question had jarred him out of his reverie. Yes…they had work to do…they had missions to go on and complete, and he’d been ogling Sephiroth like an obsessed minion. The taller first-class SOLDIER stood in front of him, but the way in which Sephiroth regarded the other SOLDIERs lower class than himself was rather off-putting. Still, Cloud hadn’t wanted to judge too early, and he tried gazing past Sephiroth at a random spot on the wall. He refused to mess up and do something that would ensure he fell from Sephiroth’s good graces so early.

And then Sephiroth spoke…he said they were going to Nibelheim. Shocked, Cloud’s breath hitched in his throat, and the exuberant memory swiftly ended.

Once again humming an odd little tune Cloud wasn’t able to recognize, Sephiroth went along with the notes, humming them deeply and softly. It nearly put Cloud to sleep when the wind rustled the thick leaves and branches of bushes lingering behind them…it was just so beautiful.

Without thinking, he blurted out, “You have a nice voice.”

Eyebrows flying up to his hairline, Sephiroth asked politely, “Oh? What else did you notice about me?”

Already too embarrassed due to his lack of self-control, Cloud hurriedly offered, “Err, I guess you have nice hair?”

“No, silly,” Sephiroth chided, though not in a rude or malicious manner. Turning his face to Cloud, he gleamed at him in a charming way. “I meant when you met me for the first time, what did you think of me?” Gesturing at himself, he sighed, “Did I live up to your expectations?”

Blushing furiously, Cloud felt his tongue growing heavy and turning dry in his mouth. His throat was parched, his heartbeat raged in his ears, his palms were clammy, his toes were cold, and he was so self-aware. What had he projected to Sephiroth, already?

Hoping he didn’t come off as an overly attached sycophant of sorts who was only able to admire from afar, he conjured up in a stutter, “Y-yeah, I mean, you were pretty tough and a good leader…”

Seemingly pleased due to that response, Sephiroth tossed him a coy, self-satisfied grin. That sight alone inspired and invoked the more playful, churlish side of Cloud. His slightly barbed and pointed humor undulated forth in a snicker, and he only wished to see Sephiroth’s self-satisfied smirk disappear so he could win, for once.

“Buuut,” Cloud began, facial expression growing mildly devious, “I kinda was always wondering how your hair is that long and shiny. It must be tough to keep.” Sneaking a hand beneath Sephiroth’s stray ends, he toyed with a small bundle of hair, flinging it up and down as he amused himself in the act.

For a fraction of a second, utter shock flitted across Sephiroth’s visage. Cloud knew that to be fair, for if he’d been the one on the receiving end of a such a question, he too would’ve been taken aback and stuck on what to reply with.

As Sephiroth slowly recovered from the factious circumstance, however, he courteously stated, “Well, the Shinra Electric Power Company provided me with specially made shampoo and conditioner that were scented with thirteen different kinds of perfume-especially those of vanilla and rose…does that answer your peculiar question?”

To Cloud, it made sense. During the odd occasions when he’d been close enough to the silver-haired male, he could’ve detected the lovely assortment of odors. Strange…he’d never been able to associate them with one such as Sephiroth. Due to all his harshness, coldness, and malefic actions, nothing ‘sweet’ or wonderful had ever flown through Cloud’s mind when he entertained thoughts of Sephiroth.

Wittily, Cloud muttered, “Specially made shampoos for a special guy, huh?” Throwing his head back and emitting a small bark of a chipper laugh, he supposed it was seriously legitimate after all. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand as he took another glance at Sephiroth’s hair, he inquired in addition, “But your hair is really long! How does all that work, then?”

Stiffly, Sephiroth gave out a bored shrug. “I go through a whole bottle of these supplements whenever I wash my hair.”

Whistling in bombastic awe, Cloud verbally prodded, “Oooh, waste of water and supplies right there.”

Not at all impressed, Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “Humph, you’re one to talk.” Boldly, he ran a hand through Cloud’s messy, unruly hair, namely the back, ruffling it up playfully.

“Hey!” Cloud shrieked mordaciously as he shoved Sephiroth’s hand away from his head. “You’ll mess it all up!!”

“I’d be making adjustments and improvements, actually,” Sephiroth corrected with a grin toying around the edges of his mouth. “Perhaps if you sat still and allowed me, I could make it all better.”

Resisting the urge to stick his tongue out and shove Sephiroth again, Cloud only muttered glumly, “I look fine.”

A few seconds went by before Sephiroth softly whispered under his breath, “You look more than just ‘fine’.”

Immediately, Cloud both experienced and heard his heart fluttering down to his belly. It flopped and crashed, only to cave in around what felt like a dozen butterflies winding and flying about in the pit of his stomach. His ears were ringing, and his blood was pumping even more vigorously than before in his veins. Body temperature skyrocketing to levels befitting a volcano on the verge of an orotund eruption, Cloud nervously trembled and shook.

No, this wasn’t a case of his imagination playing tricks on him; Sephiroth _had_ uttered those words!

Wanting to check, anyway, he felt steam rising off his face as he whispered carefully, “Are you serious?”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and sarcastically fired out, “I’m not actually serious; I was just using a boisterous expression to illustrate how I’m feeling.”

Realizing the playful quip at his expense, Cloud muttered disdainfully, “Kay, got it!”

When a pregnant pause lingered more than necessary, Cloud’s eyeballs shifted. Shyly, he snuck another quick glance at Sephiroth, only this time, Cloud had been caught. Sephiroth’s eyes were already trained on his, and by the time Cloud was able to break away, it was far too late. Mortified, Cloud yelped as he looked away, instead staring at the rest of the expansive meadow they were seated in.

 _‘Smooth move, Cloud!’_ He admonished and scolded himself stridently while a light breeze blew past the night clouds, parting them in a way that ensured the full moon delightfully rained down upon the scenic views and illuminated all the grand beauties. Across and all over the meadow, alluring white, yellow, and soft pink flowers glistened and shined. Their stems moved and swayed lightly, as though they were entranced and dancing to a tune only Mother Nature was providing.

“Humph,” Sephiroth snorted, not yet breaking away from studying his younger companion with zeal and interest. Instead, his eyes pooled and swam over with some unknown emotion Cloud truly couldn’t decipher and comprehend. It wavered on both sentimental and fond, perhaps, but he wasn’t entirely certain.

Blushing, much to his own chagrin, an annoyed Cloud grumbled, “What is it?”

Not at all meaning to be offensive, Sephiroth commented, “You sometimes remind me a lot of…some of my friends…”

Breath hitching in his throat, Cloud’s head whirled about as he stared at Sephiroth. In mild humor, he jokingly cried out, “Wow! You had friends?!”

Smirking, Sephiroth purred, “Oh, yes. Difficult to believe, I’m sure, but it was true, once upon a time…” A sullen look befell him at once, and Sephiroth only frowned as his sentence died down.

Cloud understood he was likely reminiscing, but he didn’t want for heavy burdens of nostalgia to overwhelm Sephiroth too much. Sheepishly, he gently nudged the older male as he eagerly stated, “You should tell me about them! Since I was also in the Shinra Electric Power Company, I may have heard of them.”

Sephiroth shrugged, but surprisingly relented. “Angeal Hewley was one of them…he was also a first-class SOLDIER, and someone I admired greatly.”

Cloud fought the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, Sephiroth only kept the company of first-class SOLDIERs. That was hardly surprising.

Continuing, Sephiroth added on with an air of sadness lingering in his tone, “Angeal was one of the most logical, rational men I had the honor of knowing.” Giving into the disparity, he noted, “I can’t say the same for Genesis Rhapsodos, however.”

Cloud sighed, “Heard of him in passing, but never knew him.”

Cheekily, Sephiroth chuckled. “Of course you haven’t; he was first-class, as well.”

“Sooo, what did you all do?”

Pondering it all for a few minutes quite deeply, the conflicting emotions appeared on Sephiroth’s handsome visage before they flitted away in a heartbeat. Humming to himself, he took his time before muttering, “He loved reciting _Loveless_ , and on repeat to the point where I knew majority of the damn thing by heart.”

Stifling a laugh, Cloud exclaimed in delight, “Really?! Wow! Do you remember any of it?”

“I do,” the One Winged Angel answered truthfully. “I remember it all. Being in Genesis’ presence forced me to learn it from beginning to end, anyway.” Gazing about the large meadow, Sephiroth raised his head, scanning everything in sight before leaning back to rest majority of his weight on his elbows.

As he stretched his long, lean legs in front of himself over the cool grass, Cloud mused on how unbecoming and odd it looked for the older warrior. Choosing not to comment on it, however, Cloud only drew his knees up into his chest as he continued to observe his companion.

With heavy amounts of interest, he inquired, “What did you enjoy most about being with them?”

Raising his eyebrows, Sephiroth seemed surprised, as though not a soul had dared to ever ask him such a question. Gently grazing the palm of his left, gloved hand over the thick blades of grass, he thought about it for a moment before he broke out into a small smile. “Genesis was quite stubborn; he wanted to be a ‘hero’ who surpassed my skill and prowess.” Toying with the grass even further, he tilted his head back and stared at the sky as he continued.

“As I said before, Angeal could be stoic and stern, but more often, he had quite a playful side.” Laughing briskly, he muttered, “We had a nickname for him at one point…we called him ‘Angeal the Jester’!”

Gaping, Cloud naturally asked, “Oh?? Why?”

Grinning from ear to ear, Sephiroth answered, “Because he called your friend Zack by a special name…‘Zack the puppy’.”

Sharing in the lepid laughter as he tried imagining that, Cloud felt more relaxed in this current situation than he had in almost a week. It frightened him that he could be sitting in an open field right next to his mortal foe, and yet they were laughing merrily, reminiscing, speaking fondly, and not at all holding malice in their eyes, hearts, and minds. He didn’t know what to make of it, and as it stunned him, he once again froze as he stared intently at Sephiroth.

Quickly, Sephiroth turned his eyes away from the night sky, and he chose to regard Cloud closely. The piercing, deep, and intimate glances they exchanged nearly set Cloud’s heart aflame. He could’ve sworn his blood was heating up in his veins. Not at all liking that Sephiroth’s gaze was doing things to his body that were majorly unknown, Cloud cleared his throat as he glanced down at the grass.

Once Sephiroth turned his face back to the sky, Cloud pressed on. “S-so, umm, what exactly did you all do together aside from all the training and such?”

Sephiroth smirked coyly as he dipped his head back and shrugged mildly. “Well, we weren’t always rebellious sorts, but when we all got together…” Losing himself to his chuckles as he reminisced for a moment, Sephiroth quickly regained control as he shook his head. Pushing back some tendrils of his long, fallen hair, he whispered, “…Well, let’s just say that sometimes, we got up to no good.”

Cloud nodded. “I understand as a guy, myself! Zack and I caused a lot of trouble, too, and for a while, we were always separated and severely disciplined for it!”

Scoffing, Sephiroth mildly joked, “As you should be, you errant child.”

“Don’t wander off topic, Sephiroth,” Cloud commented sharply, a smile grazing his features in no time at all. “What did you guys get up to?”

“Hmm,” Sephiroth settled back, eyebrows mildly furrowed. As though pondering on whether or not to answer for a while, his eyes darted back and forth, the gears in his head turning. Finally, he sighed wearily as he explained, “Whenever there was time, we would all sneak into the Company training room and battle to our hearts’ content.” A fond smile took up majority of his face, and his cheeks rose.

Emitting a tiny laugh, he shook his head as he got lost in the memories. “It wasn’t anything fancy; we would hold our own bets, competitions, and other times, we would just talk or relax as a means of passing time as friends.”

“I can’t see that, sorry,” Cloud laughed as he rocked a little on his bum. “You’re too serious and boring.”

Shrugging, Sephiroth nonchalantly orated, “It honestly was a little boring…now that I think of it…” A wry smirk painted its way onto his face, and he wittily intoned, “…Sometimes, I would even fall asleep while Genesis read segments of _Loveless_ out loud for us.”

Whistling cheerfully, a ludibund Cloud nodded. “I can only imagine that snooze fest.”

Wanting to taunt him, Sephiroth suddenly threw out, “I imagine everything for you is a snooze fest.”

Not at all offended or put off by Sephiroth’s small mannerisms, now, Cloud thought to himself how it came to be that he’d grown so accustomed to Sephiroth. As it so happened, he was sitting plainly in a large, open field with his greatest and most despised foe, no weapons at their disposal, talking and reminiscing with each other like life-long best friends.

Perhaps he’d gone mad…or perhaps the world had. Who was he to judge, really? Norms came and disappeared. Different people valued different things. Perhaps to some, Sephiroth was a demon, and maybe a small handful of other people regarded him as an angel. But that didn’t take away from the indisputable fact that at one point, Sephiroth had been a friend to Genesis and Angeal. They each had their own characteristics, idiosyncrasies, flaws, and strengths. They each had their own point of view and passed judgment in their own ways. They’d seen the goodness within Sephiroth at one point, and Cloud hadn’t been an exception to that, either. He had looked up to Sephiroth before. There was no denying it, even if he’d wanted to.

Suddenly, as he was lost in his musings, Sephiroth again whispered something out that truly baffled and stymied Cloud.

“You’re…you’re so much more different than the rest of them.” Shaking his head as one wistful chuckle escaped himself, he soon let that emotion fade away as he coolly gazed across the large meadow once more.

Eyes set so intently and deeply at him, Cloud never discovered just what it was Sephiroth had meant by it. All he knew however was that an odd sensation and level of awareness took over himself. Whatever this mysterious, ethereal experience was, it wasn’t hinging on anything logical or rational. It was as if all the intensity of his negative emotions had been bled out of himself, leaving only the husk, and instead were replaced with a far better and lovelier memory. It bubbled and churned up, moving past tension, past disconcerting notions, and it morphed into something that compelled Cloud to act.

Leaning to the side, he very tenderly nuzzled his face against Sephiroth’s right cheek. Pink lips warmly ghosting over the older male’s skin, without thinking about what he was doing, Cloud planted a chaste kiss directly in the center of Sephiroth’s cheek. Though it hardly lasted three seconds before Cloud scooted back, it flagrantly was still a kiss.

Inconsequential as Cloud may have thought it was in terms of after-effects, for Sephiroth, it appeared to have quite the opposite effect. His eyes went wider than small plates, he froze, he stopped blinking, and very slowly, a most bizarre looking grin etched its way onto his veneer. Unfortunately, it was gone the moment a heavy breath caught in Cloud’s chest as he wondered what had just happened between them in the peace and quiet.

This sound…it greatly resembled a gun firing off in comparison to the gentle night, and Cloud wanted to bury all traces of it away. He knew what this sound was, and for Cloud, it was far from anything he would categorize as glamorous.

It was his heart, and it was racing faster than any wild hare could. Mortified, Cloud tried suppressing the steady thudding and thumping by slamming a hand down over his chest, but it was pointless when Sephiroth had already heard it.

Turning himself to the side gently, a warm, ingratiating smile far too friendly painted the One Winged Angel’s handsome visage. “Don’t try to hold back, Cloud,” he advised tenderly, reaching to grasp Cloud’s hand.

Willingly allowing him to do so, Cloud gasped in awe once Sephiroth pleasantly stroked his fingers and knuckles, even though the older male was still wearing his dark gloves.

Then, right before Cloud’s eyes, more surprise came in the way of Sephiroth placing Cloud’s hand directly on his own chest, pressing the palm firmly down until Cloud felt what Sephiroth had no doubt wanted for him to feel.

_Thud…thud…thump, thump, thump, thud…thud…_

It was a unique pattern of its own, the rhythm calmer than Cloud’s, which made the younger former SOLDIER quite envious of his senior. Sephiroth was always better at composing himself, it seemed, and even his heart was wiser.

Smiling from ear to ear, Sephiroth used his other hand, and deliberately, he lay the limb right over Cloud’s beating muscle in the same way. Cheeks redder than an apple, Cloud felt himself sinking into his own heat once Sephiroth’s heart thrummed into his palm, and his own heart raced willingly against Sephiroth’s skin. This was a connection…this was such an intimate way to bond…he both loathed it and knew he would cherish it forever. Nothing could be closer than this, more meaningful than this exchange. He wanted to relive and experience it a thousand times over. Maybe then, and only then, would he feel satiated and satisfied.

Beaming gleefully at him, Sephiroth’s visage took on such an endearing, peaceful look, that Cloud nearly found himself breaking into tears. This…this had to be ethereal. Swearing an oath by the blood rushing in his veins and providing him his life-source, Cloud knew this experience couldn’t be truly happening to him. No way…happiness never came to him this easily.

Hushing his soft cries, Sephiroth cooed consolably, “It’s the same for me, Cloud…” Pushing his chest forth, as though to make his point even clearer, he then took to beaming warmly at his junior bond-mate. “I feel everything as you do, don’t worry.”

_Thud…thud…thump, thump, thump, thud…thud…_

The steady rhythm never ceased, but it made Cloud smile akin to fondly recalling a pleasant memory. And this was indeed a pleasant happenstance. At least his heart wasn’t dancing alone to its beat.

Now, it was joined by another. As he hearkened and focused intently to how in sync their hearts thrummed and raced together as one unit, Cloud felt he didn’t need to worry about loneliness and pain. Someone else was at his side, someone else was feeling what he felt, and someone else had empathized with him to the very last second. This was maybe what it meant to be one half of a whole…to be complete…

Perhaps he wasn’t suffering a case of lovelorn, after all…


	23. The Painful Past

Cloud was terrified. He was beyond petrified and horrified, and all for good, sound reasons, too. Nothing had been ‘right’ since the night he went out on a small ‘date’ with Sephiroth and pressed his warm lips to the equally warm, smooth softness of the older male’s cheek. Why had he ever pulled such an impulsive move?! He should’ve known it would be his fatal end, yet he’d done so anyway without even properly considering his actions and their ramifications!

Baffling. Foolish. Idiotic.

Ever since the date, the kiss, the entirety of the special night out in the field, and ever since the moment ended with them both listening to and feeling each other’s heartbeat, Cloud knew he was doomed. The young warrior’s initial state of bewilderment and confusion had now been replaced by an entirely different emotion; passion. He was passionate about Sephiroth and hadn’t expected it to hurt so much-in fact, he’d been staggered by the force of the pain each new encounter inflicted upon his soul. It wasn’t just pain, but an aching emptiness.

He found himself missing the older man’s company more and more, missing simple things like sharing experiences, light conversation, Sephiroth’s teaching, or just the way Sephiroth’s mouth almost grudgingly curled upwards when he was amused. Cloud missed his voice, the smooth silkiness of it, even when Sephiroth was inevitably insulting him. And he missed the night of their peaceful, tranquil date.

Oh Gaia, he was lost, here.

Cloud began dreaming of Sephiroth…dreaming of being relaxed within his arms, with his soft cheek pressed against the silkiness of Sephiroth’s silver hair, feeling the slow tremors in that slender body taking up residence inside his own. He couldn’t help feeling that this was something he could very easily get addicted to, and that was dangerous thinking. Dangerous, and foolish; because he knew fully well that whatever trust, whatever communion was being bestowed here, would dissolve with the dawn.

The dreams never ceased or slowed down; in fact, with every passing night spent under the same roof as the object of his desires and twisted affections, the dreams became more visceral and perverse. Cloud saw himself engaging in wildly passionate, sexual acts of intimacy with Sephiroth far too many times for his liking to be deemed mere curiosity.

What were they playing at? What was this odd thrum and dull ache throbbing in his temples and all over his chest each time he thought of and dreamed of Sephiroth? Whatever dark secrecy and form of delirium it was, it never stopped him from taking advantage of it while it lasted.

As if placed under a lustful spell, Cloud’s dreams became more vivid, wilder, and intense. When he woke from one, as he blinked his eyes open slowly and found himself buried in his sheets and pillows, he recalled each and every last detail of the previous one. He’d been nuzzling into the curve of Sephiroth’s shoulder, trapped half-beneath the musky heat of the older warrior’s staunch body. The sensation of arms around himself was a new one, as was the sensation of another heart beating next to his own.

Fondly, he took a moment to drink it all in, wanting to imprint this moment in his memory, forever. He felt warm, sated and uncommonly at peace with the world, and that surprised himself.

This wasn’t anything like what he’d been expecting at all, especially associated with Sephiroth. He needed to be dreaming and thinking of _Tifa_ in such ways; not his damn foe!

_‘But I want this…I want it to be with no one else…’_

How long had he wanted this, without even realizing it? He thought again of all the times Sephiroth had belittled him over the years, ridiculing him, challenging him, and wondered how long it had been since the animosity between them had been anything other than habit. After all, hadn’t Sephiroth stated that he was feeling the same? Hadn’t he been the one who on his own accord pressed his hand over Cloud’s ardently beating heart, and returned the fervent gesture? Weren’t they connected and united, now?

And precisely what was Cloud Strife feeling for Sephiroth?

To his genuine, reverent terror, Cloud knew he was becoming increasingly fond of the older ex-SOLDIER. To part with Sephiroth and to create a rift between them was similar to a deadly form of abscission of arteries in the heart. He abhorred the prospect of even leaving Sephiroth for a moment, and that mortified and left the young male feeling more frightened than ever.

Was it…was it love? Shuddering at the notion, Cloud didn’t suppose it was…but then, why did he feel so empty whenever Sephiroth wasn’t near? Why did both his stomach, chest, and heart feel so cold and so lonely? Why was he thinking about Sephiroth more than he ever thought of Tifa? Why did he long to see Sephiroth all day for hours on end? Why was he yearning for another conversation? Why was he craving one touch right after another so greedily and wantonly? Why did his heart only know Sephiroth’s name?

Though there still was a chance that these feelings trapped within himself could’ve been doctored and fashioned by the foreign soul bond, and maybe not real ‘love’ at all, Cloud wanted to be sure. Sephiroth may have been messing around with his head in an entirely new way. He hated thinking of that and considering it a possibility, but he had to know to be open to it.

They needed to talk. Sephiroth perhaps may have wanted to avoid the issue for as long as he could, but Cloud wanted closure. He needed those answers, and he was willing to chase after them relentlessly. It proved to be tricky these days, especially considering the fact that Sephiroth sometimes disappeared for quite some time at random. Cloud never physically saw where he went off to, but Sephiroth had sequestered himself somewhere out of good view, no doubt plotting something ultrageous.

Cloud was willing to go looking for him. This absonant mansion may have been enormous, but Sephiroth had to be here _somewhere._

An hour was dedicated to searching the front yard, and the back. The gardens, courtyard, fountains, and pools were thoroughly searched, but Sephiroth was nowhere to be found. Drawing his conclusions, Cloud supposed Sephiroth had to be in one of the sealed-off rooms. He had to find a way inside them. If no key was to be handed to him, Cloud had to create a way to gain access to the rooms.

Winding down the long, narrow stretch of the lower levels of the mansion, to his utter dismay, once he’d broken through three rooms’ doors, he found nothing aside from old furniture, barrels, carts stacked with books and wine, and plenty of cobwebs. There was still the basement, however, and that was where Cloud decided to go, next.

Ensuring that his footsteps were as muffled as possible, Cloud snuck down the unending heap of stairs until he finally reached the door leading into the grand basement level. Pausing, his heart leapt in his chest, his hand hovering right above the doorknob. Was this a good idea? Was this a proper choice?

Glancing over his shoulder, he considered turning back, when suddenly, from the highest window in the stairwell came a potent stream of light. It was as though the sun had literally burned and crashed right through the mansion. Cloud blinked away, fearful that he would go blind if he looked directly into the light. Distracted from heading through the door, he fell to his knees, curling up in a tight ball as he hoped this would all be over, soon.

As the heat and intensity of the nitid light poured directly over himself, Cloud heard a gentle humming. Though his ears were strained, he knew it was that of a woman’s voice humming and lightly singing. He’d heard the tune many times before, and he easily recognized it. Sephiroth had hummed this, too…he was sure of it!

Daring to break out of his cowardly stance, Cloud peeked through his fingers, wanting to check if the large, beaming ball of brightness was gone. It was, and to his raw shock, he wasn’t in the stairwell of the mansion, now. Somehow, the large ball of niveous light had perhaps teleported him, or at the very least, his consciousness into a new environment. Straightening himself out, Cloud stood to his full height, gazing ahead at the woman who was humming the delightful, yet sad tune to herself.

The rocking chair she was seated on creaked and groaned. Much like the first time he’d seen her as she appeared in the cemetery in Wutai Village, Cloud recognized the brunette-haired woman with brown eyes. She was the same young woman whose portrait was hanging in the master bedroom! There were no doubts, here! Her round, brown eyes were beaming down at her lap as she tipped her head to one side as though looking down fondly at something. A red and orange quilt had been draped over her lap, and elegantly, the petals of the large cherry blossom tree fell around her frame. Occasionally, they landed in her hair, and she would giggle too innocently as she plucked them from her brown locks. 

Inhaling again, she took to lightly singing, the sounds relaxing and soothing away the tension in Cloud’s body. He could listen to her all day, but she lowered the volume of her humming when she peered down into her lap. Squinting, Cloud observed her closely. He was standing quite a distance away from her, and as he studied the off-white and pink petals decorating her lap, it appeared as though she was holding onto something.

What was it?

It held no clear, distinctive features that would give away what it was. Perhaps it was a bundle she’d draped across her stomach? But why?

Suddenly, the woman stopped humming. As though sensing she was being closely watched, she raised her head, and she was directly looking at Cloud. The door behind the startled young man violently blasted open. It appeared out of nowhere, almost like the doorway to another portal. Before Cloud had a chance to look into the woman’s eyes, he was forcefully pushed and then sucked back towards the opening. An unseen force had propelled him backwards, and there was no fighting it. The harsh, luminous lights had returned. The incandescent, radiant beams gleamed directly into his retinas, and Cloud shut his eyes at once.

Thrown backwards, he surrendered himself to the resplendent daze as he sailed further and deeper back. Traveling through the cosmos, down the tunnel, into the rabbit hole he went. Hoping and wishing it would end, his eyes remained tightly closed until the door to the basement of the Shinra Mansion slammed shut behind himself.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

_When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end,_

_The goddess descends from the sky…_

_Wings of light and dark spread afar,_

_She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting…_

Freely falling, the words accompanied Cloud, sending him tumbling down deeper and deeper in the narrow, twisted path his nepheloid mind had sucked him into. It was a seductive pull, and the quagmire and murky warmth seeping into him was quite welcome. Why fight it?

After floating and falling for what could’ve been measured in hours, Cloud felt the sturdy support of the ground beneath his feet. Boots pressing down into it, he tested the existence of the ground before even opening his eyes to find disappointment. When he opened them, however, he found he truly wasn’t disappointed.

He’d trespassed into a memory, no doubt. It wasn’t his own, for he couldn’t recognize the area. It must’ve been…some sort of ship or aircraft, at the most. Looking like a long, cylinder pipe, much like any Mako Reactor, it faced out into the open evening sky. He was only assuming, and as he worked based on his own conjecture and nescience, his jaw dropped when he saw how magnificent and radiant the sun was beaming brightly along the horizon. Its golden hues shined down, warming up his body even though he wasn’t feeling cold. He could smell and taste the ocean anytime he inhaled, and the wind gently blew, whistling past his ears as it shifted his hair back.

A few feet ahead, Cloud saw Sephiroth standing with his back turned. A few feet behind the silver-haired warrior happened to be two young men. Sephiroth was wielding his Masamune in his left hand, much like always, but as he stood tall, he appeared to be just…enjoying the lovely view while he stood at the far end of the long walkway perched over the water.

This was…refreshing and new. Seeing Sephiroth just standing there placidly did something to Cloud’s mind and body that he wasn’t able to detect right away. All he knew was that he wanted to see everything there was to see about his bond mate, and without pondering his actions, he eagerly skipped ahead past the other two SOLDIERS, moving to stand right next to Sephiroth. It would be a grand, palpable loss not to reach out and touch Sephiroth in this state…

Forgetting that since this was only a memory, and that he couldn’t interact with anyone here on any level, Cloud gently tried touching the tall, habile SOLDIER. His hand went right through Sephiroth, as though he were but a mere holographic projection. Cursing himself for his blatantly maladroitness, Cloud gaping stood awkwardly. Not sure of what to do, he snuck a peek up at Sephiroth, and his heart immediately leapt and skipped a few beats.

Sephiroth was smiling…Gaia, what a sight it was. He was absolutely divine and beautiful. Cloud had no other words to describe the view, but radiant and sublime were also added to the list when he glanced at Sephiroth and saw how wide, bright, and full of youthful energy his face was. His smile lit up both Cloud’s heart, and his very soul. He’d never seen this sort of a smile on Sephiroth, and it just suited the older SOLDIER so damn well.

In the background, as Sephiroth stood tall and gazed across the expansive ocean, the other SOLDIER sitting and reading aloud soon grabbed all of Cloud’s attention. Reluctantly, he broke away from the smoothness and pureness of Sephiroth’s visage, and he heard how the arrogant and prideful red-headed SOLDIER lingering many feet away continued flipping through his book.

As Cloud blinked back and forth between the two men standing a few feet away from Sephiroth’s turned back, he saw that the one who wasn’t reading had dark hair, much like Zack’s. Cloud supposed this may have been Angeal. He didn’t know what he led him to this conclusion, but he truly believed it in his gut when Sephiroth spoke of his older memories with his two former friends and closest allies.

Angeal looked quite relaxed and calm, almost as though he were on a vacation, while the other SOLDIER with brown hair and a tinge of red highlights flowing in between strands gushed over his book. Cloud noticed that this other SOLDIER who was perhaps Genesis, was dressed much like Sephiroth. His uniform however was red, but all else was like Sephiroth’s gear, including the long coat, crossed leather straps, the SOLDIER symbol, black boots, shoulder guards, and a large sword. Interestingly enough, Angeal was wearing his uniform just like how Cloud and Zack would…why, even the infamous Buster Sword lay across his broad, muscly back.

Cloud gathered that Angeal no doubt had been Zack’s teacher, mentor, friend, and had passed along the weapon to the youth. To see it there so powerfully strapped over the dark-haired older SOLDIER’s back was a phenomenal and reverent experience. Extraordinary in every right, and Cloud had to pause and admire Angeal with more obeisance than he did with Genesis.

The auburn-haired male sat reading, his voice soothing, poetic, and quite talented in its presentation of the words. The way he almost sang the words bolstered his eloquence. He was a tardiloquent speaker, though quite educated. He made the words sound like music and art, using them to his advantage as he reeled his listeners in.

“Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess,

We seek it thus, and take to the sky!

Ripples form on the water’s surface,

The wandering soul knows no rest.”

Sephiroth had turned around in the midst of the prose, wandering back while facing his friends. His smile persisted on his face, and his cheekbones rose high as he stood quite majestically before his comrades.

When Genesis smirked at him from over the top of the book, Sephiroth confidently orated, “ _Loveless,_ Act One _._ ”

Snapping the book shut before he stood to his full height, Genesis chuckled lightly. “You remembered.”

Equally as amused, Sephiroth purred decorously, “How can I not when you’ve beaten it into my head?” Tapping against his temple for added flair, he then smirked brazenly as he raised his weapon and swiftly brought it down while he cut through the air in a clean motion.

A superbious battle stance without words needing to express it.

Catching on, Angeal and Genesis raised their own weapons in turn, the sun bouncing off the blades brightly and casting potent light across the open environment. They each wore across their faces confident and playful smirks, widening their stances and standing elegantly.

As the other two SOLDIERs prepared for a duel, Angeal nodded over at Genesis and warned cautiously, “Don’t take Sephiroth lightly.”

Arrogantly, Genesis huffed. “Humph! Noted.”

That’s when all three SOLDIERs of Shinra sprang into action. To see them in their battle was an absolute beauty to the younger ex-SOLDIER. Puzzled and stunned in awe, Cloud could do nothing but gape in admiration and veneration as to such skill and strength they wielded. Sephiroth especially knew this duel, anticipating and reading through his friends’ movements and attacks well before even they themselves had unleashed them.

They almost appeared to be dancing; Genesis flung himself forward through the air, allowing his sharp weapon to guide his hand for each and every staggering blow he delivered, while Angeal ducked, dodged, and tried countering every harsh attack Sephiroth threw at him. Sephiroth was able to take them both on simultaneously, and he didn’t even appear to be breaking into a sweat. Their blades crashed and clanked together, emitting sparks, luminous green-blue rays, and all new kinds of magic blasting about that Cloud had never seen before.

He truly enjoyed the performance as the quiet spectator, but in all fairness, he had to cheer for Sephiroth when at once, almost far too effortlessly, the One Winged Angel blocked both his friends’ charged attacks in one go, his Masamune slamming and bearing down between their weapons in crossfire. 

They fought alongside each other for what seemed like hours and hours. While Angeal and Genesis seemed mildly miffed and had clearly exerted quite a bit of strain and energy, Sephiroth, ever the victor, stood back and basked in his personal glory. There was no conceivable way for his friends to take him down and best him, and Sephiroth gloated in that knowledge.

When Angeal locked blades with him once more, Sephiroth scoffed, brows raised curiously, while his tone remained cutting and mocking.

“Ha! Is that the best you can do?” After asking this playful question, he ended the duel, and everyone set their weapons down at ease.

Shrinking back from everything he’d just freshly witnessed, Cloud stood oddly as he awkwardly ran through his own thoughts. Based on his own illustrious history with Sephiroth, after all he’d seen today, none of their interactions made any sense. Sephiroth’s motivations were even baffling. How could this be Sephiroth?! How could _this_ be the same person relentlessly hounding him down, haunting him, bullying him, and reducing him to nothingness as he obtenebrated every part of Cloud’s life and memories?

As strange and ignorant as it may have seemed, Cloud wasn’t too keen on lumping the menacing Sephiroth he’d known for far too long with this friendly one. Were there two versions of Sephiroth wandering about?! The man he’d been observing and rooting for was absolutely gentle, kind, had a good sense of humor, a great head on his shoulders, and seemed too amicable. Simply put, two very, _very_ different versions of one man coexisted within one body, one soul, and Cloud remained utterly stymied. Wondering whether he would ever get to the truth, he remained vigilant in his observation, hoping to catch a clue he’d possibly missed.

Flitting back as he gracefully admitted to his defeat, Angeal snorted, though not in a crude or unkind manner. “All hail Sephiroth, eh?”

Bowing slightly, both young men seemed respectful enough, with Angeal especially admitting to his defeat, but Genesis glared at his own feet. Despicable anger hung back within his stiff, rigid posture, and as he held his head up high slowly, he scowled ahead at Sephiroth aggressively. His hand jutted out to the side, acting as a barrier of sorts to keep Angeal at bay.

“Angeal, stay back,” he began with far too much self-confidence and haughtiness dripping from his words. “I’ll take Sephiroth, alone…”

There it was. Cloud may have been a tad slow at picking certain key elements up, but he was no dullard. All this time, he’d been assuming and falsely placed under the assertion that something was deeply wrong with Sephiroth. Perhaps that still might have been the case, but as Cloud recalled his father having said that every person had a ‘drive’ and a ‘cause’ for why they did what they had to do, this context now heavily matched with that adage.

Cloud didn’t like Genesis. Something was off about the young man, but he’d never been able to put his finger on it, at first. Genesis was quite mundane and banal. He put on airs and graces, showing off too much, but all that rendered the golden-haired male confused, previously. Now, Cloud felt he had genuine reasons for his dislike. Genesis was not only too haughty and proud, but he was self-righteous and stuck-up beyond a reasonable explanation.

Angeal had warned him against taking up such a competitive combat, but he didn’t pay his friend any mind. Wielding his weapon high in the air, he buffed it well with magic, shining it deliberately before Sephiroth’s eyes.

“The world needs a new hero!”

Cloud almost facepalmed upon hearing this coming out of Genesis’ mouth, but he was willing to accept that perhaps this corniness was all a part of their fun and games. After all, Sephiroth had informed him that they would sneak out this way and duel for the heck of it. Tacky, of course, but fun was fun, and he didn’t want to judge so early when he knew very little else about Angeal and Genesis.

While Genesis readied himself, Sephiroth smirked. “Humph! Come and try,” he challenged his friend evenly, to which Genesis mimicked his tiny scoff with one of his own.

His sky-blue eyes met Sephiroth’s enchanting aquamarine ones, and he saucily wondered aloud, “So smug…but for how long?” The question had barely streamed past his lips when he was already flitting to attack mode.

All too quickly, the two SOLDIERs charged at each other. Cloud’s adrenaline rushed and surged exponentially anytime the metallic clanging of their blades rang out. The fulgent pink rays and magical buff burst forth its light as Genesis swung his weapon brutally at Sephiroth. In fact, it was the one and only way in which Cloud was able to actually differentiate between the two top SOLDIERs since they moved faster than his eyes could see.

Genesis gave his all, fighting with Sephiroth rather well. It was a stunning, captivating thing to watch, and Cloud knew his jaw had dropped anytime Sephiroth blocked or dodged a perfectly aimed blow. To see Sephiroth in the midst of battle in his prime…he didn’t know how to describe or categorize it. The word ‘perfection’ felt too short and tasteless. Sephiroth showed he was more capable and dexterous. His strength was overwhelming Genesis much too soon, and it became obvious that the nefastous SOLDIER dressed in the red uniform was no match for the silver-haired male.

However, as they fought tenaciously, Cloud soon noticed that the air and nature around the battle rapidly shifted in dynamic. Where he could’ve initially seen two old friends competing for the sake of passing time and enjoying their own talents, he suddenly found that Genesis was taking it far too seriously. He was no longer regarding their duel as a friendly exercise, but a competition to be won. Opposing Sephiroth as though they were mortal enemies, now, Genesis baited the One Winged Angel as he took off into the blue sky. Sephiroth followed swiftly, flying higher than Cloud was able to see. From his own vantage point, Cloud caught a look of pure dread and concern flitting over Angeal’s face. He looked like he wanted to interrupt their fight, but out of respect for both his friends, he stayed put.

Even in the sky, the abrasive skirmish was rather captivating to watch, and Cloud remained on edge as he only observed Sephiroth. Whatever trick Genesis threw his way, Sephiroth was well prepared for, and he blocked and countered all the attacks with his own. Soon, Genesis threw more magic into the fight, and he began using fire-based magical attacks. Sephiroth sliced and chopped easily through the bright orange-yellow balls of flame shot right at himself. Deflecting them all and breaking them up into smaller portions, he floated higher and higher, forcing Genesis to summon an even larger, greater mass of magic.

Looking at his side, Cloud gasped when he came to learn that he was alone. Following the trail of magical rays and beams in the sky, he found Angeal placing himself before Genesis. He wished he could hear what they were saying, but it sounded a lot like Angeal warning and pleading with Genesis to stop, lest he wanted to destroy them all. To Cloud’s horror, Angeal hissed and raised his hand, grabbing his dark-haired friend by the face as he aggressively pushed him away.

“That’s no way to talk to a hero!”

Knocked out temporarily by the dispiteous Genesis, Angeal fell like a limp rag doll all the way down to the rippling waters.

Oh Gaia…this attitude was just plain nauseating, now. Out of sheer spite, Cloud was hoping that Sephiroth would take Genesis down a notch...or a hundred. The red-uniformed SOLDIER was just too damn full of himself…vomit inducing, really.

Suddenly, as Angeal had been stunned enough to fall down into the water, Sephiroth and Genesis resumed their deadly battle. The situation was reaching lethal, nocent levels. Fatal magical attacks and slashes flew forth from Genesis’ weapon, cutting through the sky at full speed towards Sephiroth. Dashing madly about through the air, when Sephiroth shot his own back, they cut through the metallic pipe beneath Genesis. The auburn-haired, obstreperous male landed smoothly on both feet, but when Sephiroth came down as well, Genesis abruptly sliced the pipes clean in half. With Sephiroth standing on one end, the entire piece gave way to gravity. Slowly slipping down, Cloud started panicking, shrieking and crying out for Sephiroth to do something.

Just when it truly was looking like Sephiroth had been beaten, the agile One Winged Angel slashed upwards as he flew back up before Genesis. The fight was turning quite erratic and disorderly on Genesis’ behalf. He was outraged and stunned that Sephiroth had flown at him with a lightning quick speed. Dragging his Masamune purposefully along the length of the pipe, he chopped it away perfectly, no doubt trying to leave less and less room for Genesis to wander about in. Sephiroth was cornering and trapping Genesis, putting all the pressure and heat onto him rapidly. 

With all the damage and destruction to the large Reactor, the seconds ticked by chaotically. Every cut piece crashed down below, but Sephiroth and the aggressive Genesis showed no signs of ceasing their fight. Genesis attacked deftly, but Sephiroth got the upper hand tactfully. Tossing Genesis through the air with one blow, the red-headed SOLDIER slid back quite a distance.

 _‘So much for the world needing a new ‘hero’,’_ Cloud entertained coarsely in his own mind.

Wanting no doubt to reign in his victory, Sephiroth flew forth at Genesis, aiming and drawing back with his weapon. This was a deadly, crushing move, and Cloud winced. He knew what lay ahead for Genesis, but he had to wonder how and why Sephiroth had turned this way. It didn’t seem to be in his truest nature…it couldn’t have…sure, he’d put on airs and graces, acting like a cold, jarring, stern mentor. But this…to attack someone he considered a friend…no, for Genesis to start this whole mess, simply to ‘best’ Sephiroth was a huge issue, and no doubt a grievous mistake.

Advancing on Genesis, the mesquin red-headed male was ready for Sephiroth. Renewing his magical and elemental properties in his weapon, when their swords made contact, a blinding mass of white and off-red light burst and expanded all around the two opponents. It hurt Cloud’s eyes to look at it, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

Who would win, now??

As they broke apart, they moved back, and once again, both Genesis and Sephiroth steadied their weapons. Charging forth at each other with murder written in their eyes, they’d been an inch away from ripping each other apart, when heavy footsteps thudded and stomped over.

“ENOUGH!” Storming at his friends with all intentions of stopping them, a most serious Angeal blocked Genesis’ attack with his saber and used the handle of the Buster Sword to crash down on Sephiroth’s Masamune. Now that he had both young warriors stuck, he glared between them both, eyebrows knotted and furrowed deeply.

Not too thrilled that he’d had his chance to succeed stolen away from himself, Sephiroth hissed mordantly, “Angeal!”

Equally as irate as his two closest friends, Genesis narrowed his eyes at his raven-haired comrade.

“OUT OF MY WAY!” Already, he’d summoned a great charge of odious magic, and as he tried setting it upon Sephiroth, Angeal gently moved his saber to the right, and on time, it got in the way of the potent blast. As it cut through the blade like a knife slicing through butter, the broken piece ricocheted backwards, and it grazed its way across Genesis’ left shoulder.

Screaming in pain, the young man dropped his weapon, touching the injured area. While Angeal and Sephiroth looked on in concern, Genesis fell to his knees, and at once, the simulated environment around them all disintegrated. Gone was the ocean, the lovely horizon, and the sun. Instead, Cloud saw that they’d been inside one of the Shinra Company’s training rooms, just as Sephiroth had previously elucidated to him.

Warning system alarms rang on and on, the buzzing grating and painful to listen to. They’d caused some serious damage to the room. Electric panels and bolts fizzed, and sizzled, and light clouds of smoke rose everywhere. The lights blinked rapidly on and off, and a red light shined through amid the massive alarm system.

Angeal empathetically whispered, “Genesis!”

Ignoring it all, Genesis huffed ungraciously, “Just a scrape…I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” Bending to collect his weapon off the floor, he avoided looking at Sephiroth, no doubt as a personal offense. His body and ego had been terribly wounded, of course, but he still stood tall and proud, turning his nose up at Sephiroth, especially.

As he started prancing insolently past Sephiroth, Genesis recited coldly, “Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return.” His sibilant voice should have been tangible, but Cloud felt nothing on his skin–felt nothing but a white-hot ice-cold needle slicing through his thoughts.

Now, Sephiroth and Angeal were left alone in the ruined training room. With a doleful expression on his face, Sephiroth looked to the ground, seemingly remorseful. Gazing at him, Cloud again felt as though someone had punched him in the brain. This was beyond incredibly confusing. How could Sephiroth, the man he’d seen steal so many innocent lives, the man who’d burned down an entire village, and cared only for himself and his own personal gains and elevation to the point of reaching a godly status be this way?! This ran counter to _everything_ Cloud had known and witnessed about Sephiroth.

Dazed, he didn’t know what to say and believe, anymore. Had he looked at all this backwards? Had he ignored what it was like to be on the other side? How wrapped up in his own hatred was he, really? How could he have forgotten that although Sephiroth was a monster, he’d never started out that way! He’d been a friend, a son, a mentor, a trusted member of the Shinra Electric Power Company, and perhaps a brother to Angeal and Genesis…

Someone was speaking, suddenly, and Cloud had wanted to listen. Needing to learn more had been at the forefront of his mind, and so much so that he hardly felt five fingers creeping along the back of his neck over to his left shoulder. Gripped by such a rough force that it could’ve crushed and snapped his bones, Cloud yelped in blinding pain as he was spun around half a second later. Everything was whirling and spinning, and he couldn’t even see the tip of his own nose.

Feeling queasy, he held an arm across his stomach, and as he peered up, he nearly shrank down in fright.

Sephiroth was standing there before him, glaring loutishly with all the hatred, vitriol, and potent rage Cloud had ever witnessed. It was as though he wished to kill and totally annihilate Cloud with this look alone. Fingers much like claws digging into the flesh of his prey, Sephiroth clutched madly at Cloud, nearly shaking in every limb.

Thinking back to the other ‘version’ of Sephiroth he’d just seen dueling with his friends so innocently and playfully, Cloud again had to wonder what ailed Sephiroth. The duality and the break in the conflicting, contrasting personalities was just too great to ignore. In fact, it scared Cloud to his wit’s end, so much that he felt like running as far away from Sephiroth as he could without ever looking back.

Eyes twitching for a second, it appeared as though Sephiroth was on the brink of a dangerous, deadly explosion, and he was aiming to take Cloud right with himself. Anger washing over Cloud to a smothering point, his lips stretched out to eventually form a most horrifying, cruel, wry smirk. It wasn’t at all pleasant to look at, and Cloud nearly whimpered from the sight of it.

In a breathy whisper, Sephiroth, while looming over him to use his own height cleverly to an intimidating advantage, icily asked, “Did you have fun, then?”

Trembling, now, Cloud croaked out numbly, “Wh-what’re y-you t-talking about?” Sephiroth had to have gone mad…this was insanity, and everything in Cloud’s instincts told himself that Sephiroth was intending to truly destroy him.

If only he could get away…

Bending closer into the shorter male, Sephiroth hissed acerbically, never once blinking as he peered through Cloud, right into the back of his head. “Did you have fun at my expense?”

Cloud never know why or how, but those querulous words by themselves were what pierced through his heart deeper and worse than any weapon ever could’ve hoped to achieve.

* * *

I seriously miss Crisis Core Sephiroth, in case you couldn’t tell. The idea of Cloud learning more and more about him as Zack did is just amazing and depressing in its own way, I think. 


	24. Half God, Half Devil

Some wounds were easy to recover from. Taking a punch to the face or to the chest perhaps left him bruised and battered, but only for a week, at the very most. His body was resilient and durable for tolerating battle. He’d grown accustomed to that long ago. Being kicked in the shins, thighs, and back as he was sent flying and rolling into the ground wasn’t too bad. He could always get up, brush the dirt off himself, and then keep trying.

Having a bullet or the cool steel of a deadly blade grazing his skin as he narrowly avoided its killing blow sent more shivers and painful chills up his spine than the damage the weapon itself caused. These were all wounds and scars within their own right, and though they held their own marks and told their own tales as they crept along his skin, Cloud welcomed them far more than openly accepting scars and wounds of the heart.

Emotionally, he was weak. The first time he attested to it was when he nearly wept over Tifa and Aerith in combat. When they got hurt, a significant piece of himself had been attacked, as well. Vicariously, he empathized with their pain, their anguish, and their sadness. He felt it as much as he had since he’d lost Zack. He was so weak that when his best friend had died right before himself, his one and only reaction had been to break a part of himself away, disassociate, and live out as Zack’s legacy.

Literally, Cloud knew he’d always manifested every part of the pain his friends and loved ones experienced. He wished he knew of a magical spell or miracle prayer that would take away their burdens in an instant. If he could take that all away, even if it meant he had to suffer on their behalf, he would do it, no questions asked.

Though, perhaps it was a sign of weakness. When it came to matters of the heart, he knew he was done for. Nothing burned worse than feeling another’s pain and identifying with it…or so he’d previously been led to believe. Life’s hardest lessons soon came knocking, and he learned that no, contrary to all his pain experienced before, none of it held a candlelight up to how harshly and deeply he was burning, now.

To be impertinently betrayed by someone he was falling in love with was a chaotic form of emotional and psychological grief Cloud wouldn’t ever dare to wish on his most despised enemies. Sephiroth’s nocent anger cut him into many pieces, then put him back together, repeating the horrific cycle until Cloud didn’t think he had anything else left to give. He was nothing, he was nobody, and Sephiroth was still importunately insisting on ensuring that he suffered.

For what? Hadn’t things been turning better for them? Weren’t they _both_ capable of great change? Was it so wrong to assume that they could look beyond their problems and the greater nature of their true characters to achieve something better and more meaningful? Why had that hope suddenly turned into a fatal flaw, now? When had his strengths morphed into his greatest weaknesses? How had the capacity for love and acceptance turned on him so quickly? Was he now to be betrayed by his own mind and heart?

Sephiroth dragged him out of the Shinra Mansion basement, but Cloud went along willingly. He knew that Sephiroth was in fact hiding a lot. This was a confirmed fact, and no longer a theory. He didn’t suppose the taller, older male had anything left to lose, but Sephiroth evidently wanted to dish out quite the minacious punishment.

Refusing to speak to Cloud for half a day after they returned from the basement, Sephiroth had been marching past Cloud’s room, no doubt checking once again on the hour to ensure that Cloud didn’t go poking his nose into other locked rooms. The trust had been broken between them, but rather than moping about and blaming himself, Cloud was ready to unleash his own questions unto Sephiroth. There was no way he was going to let this slip by. Was he _really_ expected to titubate around the spacious mansion in his own treacherous silence?

Cloud refused to accept it. He knew Sephiroth was disturbed about something, and now, when they dueled, it was not to gain skill or practice, it was not for the purposes of passing time, being together, nor was it good for bonding. Cloud was confident that this was punishment for himself, but for Sephiroth, this was also penance.

Resenting Sephiroth for forcing them both to suffer through this, Cloud resolved himself to putting his theory to the test.

When Cloud came to duel with Sephiroth again in the clocktower across the courtyard as he routinely had, the One Winged Angel regarded him with a narrow-eyed glare that caused the young member of Avalanche to stop abruptly in his approach towards his ‘instructor’. Normally, they sat together on the mossy steps beneath the clockwork of the clocktower across the courtyard to talk, but this time, Sephiroth did not intend to hold conversation.

Not one to be put off immediately by this, Cloud decided to get right to his point. “The woman I keep seeing is always humming the exact same song as you, Sephiroth. That’s _not_ a coincidence.” Sternly, he braced himself for the worst, even though he’d already accepted it before Sephiroth moved a muscle.

With a resolute sneer, Cloud barked his demand. “Tell me who she is!”

Sephiroth’s hair fell forth and shielded his face. He turned himself around, and the stony cold silence unfortunately pulled forth more questions from Cloud.

The harsh exterior and nocuous demeanor he’d tried to keep up with fell away.

“Sephiroth, what’s going on?” Cloud carefully asked, and much to his own frustration, he sounded genuinely concerned.

They were supposed to be enemies! Now, he was speaking with Sephiroth as he normally would with Tifa or Aerith! Somewhere along the line he forgot that they were both at odds with one another—they both had forgotten this. Palaver and nattering were all well and good so long as they both held to their duties, in the end. If Sephiroth had been holding back and letting the questionable future defeat them, then Cloud was not holding up his end of the arrangement.

“Hey!” he snapped rudely, knowing that it would get on Sephiroth’s nerves. “Hey! Talk to me!” Waving a hand in front of Sephiroth’s face as he stood before him defiantly, Cloud demanded desperately, “We need to talk about this!”

“We are not talking today,” Sephiroth affirmed coldly. “I do not feel like wasting my time on a brat who wishes to turn a deaf ear, anyway.”

Though mildly offended upon hearing how the person he was having strong feelings for was talking down to him and fully intended to degrade him as though he wasn’t even human, Cloud gritted his teeth before firing out vehemently, “I was looking for you!”

Neck clicking due to how stiff his posture was, Sephiroth seethed. “Digging into certain affairs which do _not_ concern you is a filthy habit, Cloud.” Eyes widening a fraction, his lips curled back, giving him a demented, feral visage. “Wandering into the basement of the Shinra Mansion is forbidden!”

_‘But why…why…what’re you so afraid of?’_

Though Sephiroth had heard his inner cries, he put on a good show of ignoring Cloud. Raising his elongated Masamune with his left arm, he hissed tersely, “Now, on your guard.”

This was a closed discussion, now, and Cloud knew better than to poke and pry away at it.

Cloud listlessly plucked his Buster Sword from its resting place against the wall and wasted no time dashing in on Sephiroth. Without having had his weapon drawn with the intention to do harm to Sephiroth, all he could do was dodge the sudden attack the more skilled, lissome warrior threw at him. After swerving to the right and zipping by Sephiroth, Cloud tried to protest only once and nearly got decapitated for his trouble. Sephiroth had truly meant it when he said he didn’t want to speak, so it seemed. Another tasteless disappointment added to Cloud’s steadily growing list.

The disturbed young man eventually drew his sword, planning far ahead not to cause serious harm. Perhaps if he played things easy, Sephiroth would find this all tedious and let him go. Deciding on that, finally, the two commenced their duel the proper way. This time, Sephiroth had changed majority of his tactics, however. He became quite aggressive, but as a means of disarming Cloud rather than seriously hurting him. This, in turn began irritating Cloud to no end. He’d at least wanted Sephiroth to fight him fairly and equally, but that was far from what Sephiroth was doing.

Sephiroth had opted for doing just _anything_ to get a rise out of Cloud, whereas the youth wanted to end the fight so they could address more important matters. The differences in conflicting agendas soon became toxic and overwhelming, and it telegraphed into their fight. Sephiroth transmitted all his rage and anger with Cloud by summoning weapons he normally never used in his own battles. Since the room they’d been dueling in resembled a dojo, it was quite an easy feat for Sephiroth to inch back and tear from the shelves and hooks holding weapons a rather sharp spearhead. He followed that up quickly by shooting out two throwing darts aimed for Cloud’s head.

Gasping at such an unpredictable move, Cloud leapt backwards, diving down onto his hands as he balanced himself just an inch off the floor. The darts whizzed by above, burying themselves into the walls instead of his flesh. With all his strength, he pulled a kip up as best as he could, jumping back to his full height so he could face Sephiroth again. 

Cloud kept a close eye on Sephiroth, then, and his response to his opponent’s attacks. Like clockwork, a hole opened in his defenses. Sephiroth began delaying majority of his attacks, leaving plenty of room for Cloud to land killing blows. In his fiery anger, the youth moved in on the opportunities, deflecting his weapon and winding up for the kill. He started with aiming for the right, deflected the third hit with a reverse grip, threw his sword in the air and changed back to a normal grip to push himself up for the fourth hit.

He whirled, drawing his clunky weapon as he moved. The hot-tempered male’s attack clashed against the cool blade of the Masamune. As he pushed, however, Sephiroth lunged up, and the edge of his weapon stopped an inch from Cloud’s throat. The tip prodded into white skin, and Cloud immediately stopped breathing out of necessity.

Was this the end?

Not at all pressing down on the handle of his weapon, Sephiroth commented dryly, “You’re getting faster.”

Then, Cloud slowly saw his opponent’s other hand sliding up to meet the handle of the Masamune. Switching his hold on it, Sephiroth gripped the weapon, whirling around to stab Cloud in the stomach. Self-preservation instincts kicked in, and Cloud disengaged with a shove, hurling himself backwards out of reach.

A sinister chuckle flew through the chilly air from Sephiroth. “You’re as good as you lead yourself to believe, but in reality, I must say, you’re leaning more toward mediocre,” the composed ex-SOLDIER exclaimed, spinning his blade in a flourish. “That would have taken an ordinary man by surprise, but you’re only pushing yourself so far to make an effort and conquer.”

“An _ordinary_ man,” Cloud replied, ever so harshly and waspishly, “would not have sensed your killing intent. You hide it well, same way you’ve hidden so much from me all this time.”

Thrown off-guard for a moment, Sephiroth sneered icily. “You think I’m still trying to kill you?” he purred, tilting his head sarcastically. “You’re too kind.” Coldly, he saluted Cloud with a new weapon he’d swiped off the wall. Now, he held in his left hand his beloved Masamune, but in the right, he gripped a wakizashi.

Stunned that Sephiroth was wielding two weapons with perfect confidence and dexterity, Cloud thought it would be best to also grab a new weapon. He’d been on his way towards the wall with the weapon racks, when Sephiroth’s Masamune snagged on the hem of his pants. Fabric cut away and ripped, but that didn’t stop the blonde from flying up and snatching a katana from the top. As he landed back on his feet, he leapt away from Sephiroth’s flurry of attacks, steadying himself so he held the Buster Sword in his left hand and then leveled his katana in the right at the devious older male.

Grinning, though with far too much in the way of malice, Sephiroth ravenously growled, “Now, you’re taking this seriously.”

Visibly and invariably shaking, Cloud shrieked as his brows furrowed tightly together on his brow. “Sephiroth! What’s gotten into you! Why are you doing this to me?!” 

With nothing else holding himself back, Cloud swung down with the katana to block a charged attack, and their blades crossed together. Sparks from the deadly impact flew, and Cloud looked away from the extremities. To his oversensitive imagination, the violence bouncing off their swords coupled with the bright flashes were also reflecting and shining within Sephiroth’s entrancing green orbs. Habitually, he was drawn to them, spellbound for the moment.

Once he caught on to what he was doing and specifically where his gaze happened to be, Sephiroth snarled. He unleashed an unforgiving attack with his Masamune, cutting to the left, and he finished it with a follow-up jab by the wakizashi.

Although he truly was stunned and mesmerized as to how expertly and proficiently Sephiroth was able to use both weapons simultaneously with such ease and perfection, Cloud read Sephiroth’s movement as he attacked, leading with the katana. As far as he knew, there was only one way to break out of this vicious cycle, and it didn’t entail engaging in combat with this spiteful man. There was something wrong, here. Sephiroth was vindictive, and he was far too unnecessarily cruel.

Clinging onto his only line of defense, Cloud brought his katana up to take the Masamune’s strike. Carefully deflecting the blow to the side, he then twisted around the follow-up thrust, but Sephiroth had already swung with the wakizashi. In a direct answer, Cloud flung the heavier Buster Sword as he twisted, blending into a whirlwind as he tried extricating himself from the tough bind Sephiroth trapped him in. It was useless. Cloud may have sprung free of the hold the two opposing weapons had over himself, but Sephiroth had already knocked the Buster Sword out of his reach.

Once the awkward weapon sailed across the room, Sephiroth was already moving. Rapidly, he drew the Masamune back, and brought it down. A second later, he swiped from left to right with the wakizashi. Cloud somehow recovered from his deflected charge, swinging his katana around to bash Sephiroth off-course.

Cleverly, the shorter male dropped to his knees when Sephiroth leapt at him with both weapons now almost about to spear through his head. Both the wakizashi and the Masamune passed an inch over his head as he crouched low to the ground. Cloud’s blue eyes widened as he tracked the movement of Sephiroth’s wakizashi; the man seamlessly shifted the weapon into a reverse grip even as he deflected the follow-up attack from the katana, then stabbed it sideways at Cloud’s gut before he landed on his feet like an agile feline.

Cloud curled his body away from the mordacious attack. The wakizashi sliced him clean across his flank, doing little in the form of real damage, but a wound was still a wound. He leapt backwards, trying to get breathing room. This man’s wily speed was not inferior to his own, but Sephiroth’s anger was vastly superior to Cloud’s tendency to hold back.

Brutally, Sephiroth was on him, not giving him time to recover. The more Cloud evaded, the more Sephiroth fought, but he always attacked places Cloud was able to recover from.

 _‘He’s still treating me like a kid as opposed to an equal,’_ Cloud thought. _‘I have to focus…I need to watch and predict both his hands and weapons.’_

Sephiroth’s brutally unforgiving tactics seemed to drastically shift in their delivery and concentration. Cloud supposed the sight of his blood had something to do with it. Sephiroth hesitated once he glanced down at the floor. Shaken for a moment, when he approached, it was highly obvious that his direction was now focused on making openings in Cloud’s defense with his katana so he could slip the wakizashi through slowly. There were ample amounts of opportunities for Cloud to predict the attacks, so he launched into a whirling slash with his katana, one which Sephiroth deflected easily, but only at the very last minute.

Over and over again, Sephiroth did this, purposefully leaving himself open before Cloud lashed out. The old floorboards crunched and groaned beneath their feet as the two men rotated, with Sephiroth exposing his back to Cloud.

_‘He expects me to try to take his back, but the attack will come from the left side, with a reverse grip on the wakizashi.’_

Cloud saw Sephiroth’s long arm move, lashing out backwards in what would be a clean blow to his abdomen. He sidestepped just far enough out of the way, bringing his weapon down toward Sephiroth’s head in the same movement. Cloud had naturally anticipated for Sephiroth to duck and move out of the way, but the older male never did.

He stared, purely dumbstruck, as his sword collided with the side of Sephiroth’s head, and then the wakizashi, now in the man’s right hand. In that same instant, Sephiroth hissed as he felt a piercing pain in his gut. Cloud’s katana, now in his left hand, had swiftly stabbed into his abdomen.

Horrified by what he’d done, Cloud whirled away, Sephiroth’s fresh blood flying from his sword. Shoulders and arms quaking, he roared, “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! YOU COULD’VE MISSED THAT!!” Agitated and disturbed, he whirled his weapon again.

Though hurt, Sephiroth blocked the oncoming attack with a single flick of his wrist, pushing Cloud away a few feet rather gently as opposed to harshly throwing him back. When the youth got out of his path, Sephiroth stood, exchanging and trading places with his weapon hands. Instead of the Masamune being held with his left hand, now, it was placed in the right.

This was no simple flourish; not only was he ambidextrous, he could also hold either of his weapons in a fore or reverse grip as the situation demanded. A battle between master swordsmen would no doubt come down to whoever demonstrated superior mastery of range. Cloud didn’t think this was something he could hope to achieve here, since he was aware his range was static and Sephiroth’s was impossible to predict.

In a whirlwind of silver and black, Sephiroth somehow teleported himself to stop before Cloud. The Masamune’s sharp tip stopped just short of his sternum, with the taller male glaring angrily into his opponent’s fiery eyes.

As they stared each other down, Cloud’s alamort eyes flickered down to Sephiroth’s wound. He hadn’t tried to recover at all! Sephiroth had intended to take the blow—to let himself be struck down!

In the heavy silence, Sephiroth pulled his blade back and shoved his junior hard in the chest. The astonished youth stumbled back until the tip of his boots caught in the floorboards and he fell hard on his backside.

Dabbing a gloved hand at his wound, as it slowly ceased to drip out blood, Sephiroth’s eyes studied the liquid pouring out of himself. Chuckling coldly, he then peered into Cloud’s shocked eyes.

“Trying to taunt me into coming within range? Please.” Scoffing, he threw his head back and sighed at the ceiling. “You’ve read my style and grasped its techniques, so my best chance is now to use my mutable range against you in a reactive fashion. To throw myself into your range in an attack is, at this point, folly.”

Completely baffled, Cloud only shook his head. Somehow, the words he’d intended for Sephiroth to hear all along came through like a floodgate. “You don’t want to harm me because it’s hurting you more than it’s hurting me.”

Nearly flying into a rage so vile and hideous, Sephiroth advanced. Closing the distance between himself and Cloud far faster than his opponent expected, Sephiroth looked exactly like a demon as his fingers hooked onto his weapons. Cloud’s cobalt eyes widened in fear as Sephiroth struck at him, whipping the Masamune toward his head. Transfixed, Cloud made no move to maneuver his katana into the way of the attack; if Sephiroth expected for him to block such a powerful strike, then slice into him with his wakizashi while he was vulnerable, then so be it.

His eyes widened even more when the blow never came. There instead was an abrupt ‘slash’, followed by a sickening ‘thud’, and quite close to Cloud’s ears. Moving his head and craning it down, to his complete shock, Sephiroth had buried the Masamune right through the floorboards instead of through his opponent’s flesh.

This time, Cloud succumbed to his fractious anger. Upon flying up, he bashed Sephiroth right across the back of his head. The tall male went down without a sound, hitting the hard floors with a dull crunch. His swords fell to either side of himself, but he made absolutely no move to get up.

This was pathetic. Cloud was nearly weeping, Sephiroth was slowly stirring as he was struck down, and it didn’t feel like a rewarding fight in the slightest. Cloud never wanted this. This felt cowardly and cruel, especially when the younger fighter knew for a fact that Sephiroth had fallen all on his own accord. This wasn’t a fair fight, and he’d had enough of it.

“You have been purposely allowing me to defeat you!” he shouted at his bond-mate, venom dripping from his every word. “How long have you been toying with me?” Cloud demanded, jabbing a sharp finger at Sephiroth once he’d sat up on his bent knees.

Grunting as his wound slowly healed over, Sephiroth gave a curt nod. “What do you propose?” he asked somberly, knowing already what Cloud would say, but he needed to hear it in his bond-mate’s own words.

“We fight one last time,” Cloud immediately suggested, retrieving his katana from the floor and dusting it off with his hands. “You and I both know that the shit you pulled back there was a bunch of bullshit, Sephiroth, so don’t you hold back.” Courageously, the truculent blonde held out his weapon by the handle with both hands, standing alert and erect.

Down on the floor, still, Sephiroth looked at Cloud carefully, as if observing an injured bird. An expression that may have been interpreted as pity, perhaps, flitted over his face, but it was gone in a flash.

Together, after Sephiroth rose to his feet, they moved to the middle of the room. Cloud retrieved both of Sephiroth’s weapons as he passed them, pausing before he handed them to his older opponent. Standing opposite one another, Sephiroth eyed Cloud’s katana for a moment, and Cloud held onto it tighter.

“No, I want you to use the other blade,” Sephiroth instructed as he nodded over at the discarded Buster Sword. “When I first baited you, the initial weapon you reached for was that one. That appears to be your weapon of choice.”

Cloud sighed with tremendous pangs of suffering echoing through himself but complied without protest. He removed the massive great sword from the floor and set the katana aside. Sephiroth also threw away his second weapon, only relying on his powerful Masamune to guide himself through.

“Are you sure about this, Sephiroth?” the reluctant blonde asked, hoping that in the final moment, Sephiroth’s resolve would buckle and he wouldn’t make him go through with their final duel.

Not even hesitating, the older warrior hissed, “Yes.”

There was no other warning. Sephiroth dashed in at Cloud, raining a flurry of blows down upon him with each swipe of his blade. Cloud effectively used the weight and width of the Buster Sword to deflect the incoming steel just enough to dodge through the space he created. Much like the One Winged Angel who always reigned mighty and powerful, Cloud Strife had chosen the path of skill and dexterity.

Now on par with the skills of Sephiroth himself, the pair exchanged blows in a flashing waltz of silver and siderite. The courtyard echoed the song of their ringing blades in an eerie, choral hymn interrupted only by the grunts and cries of the embroiled combatants.

Cloud’s blade found Sephiroth’s flesh more than once, but in the end, it would seem as if Sephiroth’s had found the bold youth’s just a few more times. The young member of Avalanche captured the Masamune’s tip in the hooked backs of his own weapon and yanked it free from Sephiroth’s grasp. Before it even clattered to the floor, he spun and raked the siderite blade across the silver-haired male’s stomach.

Sephiroth cried out, and Cloud immediately regretted the blow he’d dealt; duty be damned, nightmares be damned, the infernal, blasted soul bond that made their pain unanimous be damned beyond all of Gaia. This wasn’t even half as rewarding as he thought it’d be. How had he even killed Sephiroth the first time over five years ago?! How?!

Sephiroth stumbled back, clutching at his bleeding abdomen before falling hard to his knees. Smoky green orbs turned up to Cloud, looking expectantly through milky white bangs at his perturbed bond-mate.

There was still a job to do; there was the matter of Avalanche stopping Sephiroth. What if _this_ was the chance they’d all been so desperately looking for?! It had fallen right in his lap, and Cloud _had_ to make good use of it! This was _still_ Sephiroth! Just because they’d been somewhat ‘civil’ towards one another, didn’t promise that things had forever changed! People-especially monsters- _never_ changed! This had to be done, before doubt and hesitation got in the way and prevented him from doing his duty!

Steadily, he approached the skilled warrior and placed a hand on his shoulder. Cloud drew his Buster Sword back, ready to plunge it into Sephiroth’s heart. As he glared down at the wounds he’d inflicted on his bond-mate, the world stopped moving. One heartbeat passed, then two, then three—he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Gaia forgive him, Avalanche forgive him, his parents forgive him, and all of Nibelheim forgive him, he just couldn’t do it.

Wailing like a lost child, Cloud sank to his knees in front of Sephiroth, hand still on his shoulder. This sight was one he never wished to see again. Sephiroth was lying limply like a discarded doll, his dark uniform pooled around himself like a giant bird melting into the floor.

“I can’t,” he whimpered feebly. “Sephiroth, I just can’t.” Tossing his Buster Sword to the floor in a loud, dull clatter that shook the wood, Cloud sniffled painfully. His eyes brimmed with searing tears that threatened escape at the corners. “Don’t make me, Sephiroth. Don’t make me do this. I-I,” he choked on the last few words, strangled by the emotions rising in his throat.

“Cloud,” the other male cooed his name softly. He knew Sephiroth was trying to urge him onward, but the gentle way he spoke his name did nothing to help.

Sniffling and shaking, Cloud failed to see Sephiroth’s wounds closing rapidly, and he failed to see that Sephiroth had already snatched his Masamune in his left hand once more. Still hushing and cooing, Sephiroth wrapped his right arm about Cloud, pulling them closer together. Once Sephiroth’s cheek rested against Cloud’s ear, face hidden from the blonde’s view, Sephiroth smiled a cold, bleary smile.

Lips pulling over his teeth, in a calm, detached tone, he grunted, “Always so trusting, Cloud…”

As they drew away from each other, Cloud cocked an eyebrow once he sensed that Sephiroth wasn’t as grievously injured as he thought.

Almost mischievously grinning, Sephiroth moved back even further as he finished mussitating, “…This is one of your biggest flaws, Cloud.”

At once, faster than lightning, Sephiroth’s dark wing exploded from his right shoulder. Shooting up, he flew past Cloud, tossing the young man back down to the floor cruelly.

His negligence and naivety had cost Cloud rather well. The hefty price he had to pay for it was delivered in the way of a solid, harsh blow to the jaw once Sephiroth landed on his feet. As his head spun around, he saw stars, the moon, tiny nepheloid explosions, and puny rays of light. His cheekbone coursed with pain, but when he made to cradle and touch it, Sephiroth backhanded him across the face. The solid connection landed on his opposite cheek this time, the harsh blow making Cloud’s head snap back roughly.

Biting his tongue lest he wanted to fling abhorrent insults at Sephiroth, Cloud only chose to glare menacingly at the taller male. Not at all put off by it, Sephiroth swung once to the left with his weapon, and as Cloud ducked on time, he followed it through with a tricky punch. That landed painfully into Cloud’s ribs, and as the youth was stunned and frozen in shock, Sephiroth cruelly kicked him. Once, twice, three times, he kicked and rammed his knees into Cloud’s chest and stomach. Doubling down in pain, Cloud wheezed and coughed, turning to crawl as far away as he could.

Relentless and unforgiving in his pursuit, Sephiroth lunged after him, a caustic sneer set on his face the entire time. “Where are you going?” His fingers hooked onto Cloud’s collar, and he dragged the smaller male back viciously. Whipping and turning him about, Sephiroth punched him again in the chest.

Rearing up angrily, Cloud shouted miserably, “Stop it! What the hell?!”

When he tried defending himself again, Sephiroth lashed out with his Masamune. Cloud cleverly blocked the attack in the nick of time with his Buster Sword, but Sephiroth knocked against it deftly in one potent move. Again, that act had been meant to distract, and it completed its intended task. With the weapon unsteady in Cloud’s hand, the younger male wasn’t able to anticipate another harsh slap across his face until it landed with a loud noise reverberating off the walls.

Wincing as he shuddered and cradled the sore area, Cloud only shouted from the top of his lungs at Sephiroth, “STOP! WHY’RE YOU HITTING ME FOR?!?”

Wasn’t this a duel involving the use of weapons?! Why was Sephiroth so adamant on beating the crap out of him?!

Cloud shied away from the beatings, trying to fend each of them off. Refusing to be Sephiroth’s personal punching bag, he mightily kicked out both legs, aiming to hit something. Anything would do, so long as it stopped Sephiroth dead in his tracks before he caused irreparable damage.

Stunned for the moment, Sephiroth ceased his brutal beatings. That was time enough for Cloud, and he swiftly kicked at the older male. Prior to the blow landing on his legs, however, Sephiroth leapt back, agile as a feline. Sailing through the air, he flew back at least eight feet before he landed perfectly. Not a single scratch had been delivered to his person, and by harsh comparison, Cloud knew he looked as badly as he felt.

Brushing himself off, he caught Sephiroth charging at him again through his peripheral vision. Moving to the side right on time, he held up a hand and bellowed potently, “STOP! JUST STOP IT AND GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK!”

As soon as he drank in Cloud’s words, Sephiroth rounded on him with even more potent violence and anger. It almost oozed out of him, the very center of it all gushing out like a waterfall of pure fire from his eyes. Shivering once he caught how unforgiving and hateful the look was, Cloud felt reduced to his infantryman years.

Sephiroth’s odious gaze targeted Cloud intently, and he roared back, “A break?! Do you _really_ think your enemies will be as generous and gracious to just give you a break when you ask for one?” Trying to drive his point clearly into Cloud’s head, Sephiroth swiped at his feet with his sword, and it scratched the soles of Cloud’s boots in a deadly ‘swish’.

Crawling back while he shivered immensely, knowing that very well could’ve been his own skin as opposed to his boots, Cloud regarded Sephiroth with caution and alertness higher and greater than ever before. All his senses were hearkening to the silver-haired angel, and he even stopped blinking, just to be as prepared as he could.

Sephiroth fixed Cloud with ever the ferocious stare that projected a clear message. He wasn’t interested in sparring and conversing. This fight had to go on, to the end.

As though reading his mind, Sephiroth snapped acidly, “Oh, I’ll end it for you.” With that uttered, he slammed the Masamune down on the long edge of the Buster Sword.

The loudest explosion that sounded akin to a bolt of lightning striking the ground blasted all around them. Cloud didn’t flinch, but he looked away as Sephiroth dragged the Masamune from the tip all the way to the end of the Buster Sword. It screeched as it traveled along with vigor, but eventually, it ceased.

Warily, Cloud released his hold on his weapon. Enough was enough. The bond had been responsible for _all_ of this. The bond had been the only reason why he knew he couldn’t finish Sephiroth. He was a morigerous disgrace. Rising to his feet, he abandoned legerity as he started to walk past Sephiroth. In the flash of an eye, Sephiroth reached behind himself, and he slammed a large hand on Cloud’s shoulder.

Once he drew Cloud near, his warm breath exhaled into the younger male’s ear. “Your mastery of range is indeed impressive,” Sephiroth began quite soothly, “but wielding two swords splits one’s attention. Had you been using only the katana from the very beginning rather than listening to me, you would have won.” Fingers hooking into his tetchy junior’s flesh, he hissed in urgency and resentment, “You are a fool. You were distracted and could only follow my swords’ motions, but not their details.”

Refusing to meet his conceited eyes, Cloud shot back in a low drawl, “You tricked me again. You used two swords, you hypocrite.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve fallen prey to my wit, Cloud, and it certainly won’t be the last.” Slowly removing his hand from Cloud’s shoulder, Sephiroth stoically explicated, “To falter is to admit to your own end.”

There was no room for compassion in the world of war and violence. Sephiroth once again was right.

Wanting and needing to get away from this vauntage beast, Cloud softly spat poisonously, “I’m leaving. I’ve had enough of this shit to last me a lifetime.”

Boots storming away, he’d nearly made it out the doors of the old clocktower when Sephiroth cried out at his back in a warning, “You’re not going anywhere, Cloud. Not until I say you can go.”

Willing himself not to turn around, Cloud only gazed at the floor, espying all the scuff marks, the splinters of broken wood, and the drops of blood that littered filthily everywhere. These were the remnants and the very last symbols of the duality that existed within himself and within Sephiroth.

Hatred, and love. Not at all far apart, just like Aerith had wisely said to him before.

Before he exited the clocktower, Cloud heard Sephiroth cruelly exclaim, “You’re mine.”

As sullen and defeated as he was, currently, Cloud had to concede that Sephiroth had won…for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hesitation is defeat.” Isshin, the Sword Saint-Sekiro


	25. Bonded Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING NOTE! This chapter contains a graphic sexual encounter, and a serious kink/fetish. If you feel this may disturb you, please feel free to ignore or skip this chapter!*

Cloud became both a literal and a figurative prisoner. He never smiled. Never. He was afraid of smiling and opening himself up, since it often felt like every single muscle in his body would light up. Most of the mansion rooms and doors were completely sealed off to him since his bizarre battle with Sephiroth, as he’d expected. He’d dug too deeply, he’d seen too much, but he needed to move. And he would move. And move. And move. And he wouldn’t stop, not until he left to get to the truth. He had to move. If he didn’t, it felt like he would explode. This wasn’t something he was willing to vacillate on.

Cursing the bond, Cloud knew that the blinding, vagous pains he’d been experiencing had everything to do with the fact that he’d attacked Sephiroth. Whether this had been intentional on Sephiroth’s part wasn’t revealed, yet, but Cloud held an inkling of a belief that Sephiroth was possibly testing the limits and boundaries of the bond. The older male had probably been testing to see how far they could push each other, and just how much harm they could bring to each other before it caused them genuine pain and vacive discomfort.

Nothing was making sense, anymore. Sephiroth had said that the bond would force them to regard one another as lovers, and Cloud was always confused, now. Worryingly, he was so confused that it was almost a blessing, because he had no time or energy at all to figure out anything beyond these mysterious notions. Ideally, Cloud wanted to set aside more time to understand the enigma wrapped in more secrecy that Sephiroth seemed to shroud them both in, but it wasn’t the right time nor place for that.

Sephiroth had kept a close watch on him lately, hardly allowing him to even venture out of the mansion into the yards. Cloud was just constantly and seriously confused. Sometimes he’d feel his strength and individuality return to himself, but most of the time, it felt like his head was doing loops and swirls, making him dizzier and even more lost than ever before. The fight, the bond, _everything_ had taken its toll on his body. For the next few days, Cloud just didn’t have the energy to make sense of it.

He hated himself, and he hated even more that he was vilifying himself for what he felt. He wished and wished he could stop thinking about Sephiroth, but he found he almost _had_ to. Whenever his thoughts settled on and centered around the strange One Winged Angel, he felt he could breathe normally, once more. If he didn’t, the results were deleterious. Everything hurt all the time. It was all he could do to try to be normal and to feel _something_. That, however, seemed to drain him, and it took a huge effort on his part to mentally and emotionally ‘distance’ himself from Sephiroth.

As he pushed and tried, sometimes, he would get to a point where everything felt clear, but then, some new idea regarding his bond-mate would flock into his head forcefully. Brewing there for hours, it would hurt him, it would force itself on him, and it would leave Cloud truly scared. He was scared, all the time, much like a child. After a few days like this, Cloud locked himself in his room, sleeping away half the time so he wouldn’t think of Sephiroth.

Unfortunately, the silver-haired top ex-SOLDIER was always there waiting for him in the land of dreaming, it seemed.

Questions never ceased troubling his weary, inflamed mind. He’d seen and caused Sephiroth to bleed. This wasn’t normal, as he’d attacked Sephiroth before, but his blade had never spilled any blood. Cloud never thought demons could bleed, but the One Winged Demon who acted as his keeper had bled before, and he’d now witnessed it with his own eyes.

Why? How? Why had he purposefully allowed himself to be bested in battle?

It didn’t make sense to Cloud from his own vantage point. As a warrior, he was robust and stentorian, but when he compared himself with his senior ex-SOLDIER, he knew he was never good enough. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how greatly he’d put his mind to it, Sephiroth had been faster, stronger, and more resilient. Sephiroth had always been temperative and right; had he not been distracted the day Cloud pierced him through when his back was turned more than five years ago, the golden-haired youth would’ve likely ended up getting himself killed.

Confusion was all that was left, and eventually, Cloud knew it would all start swirling around until it drowned him in its murky, unknown depths. It was so hard to pull it all apart. To paint this tenebrose picture, he needed pieces of the past, but Sephiroth never allowed him more than what he’d seen. The results were poor and detrimental for Cloud. Sensing his mind and perceptions of the difference between reality and fantasy were bending and blurring, he felt totally lost and powerless.

All that was real would mix with the fake, muddying up the colors and textures. It was like trying to turn purple back into blue and red. Pointless, effortless, and quite impossible. It was draining, and he was so tired all the time. His mind was always moving. There was so much going on in his head that if he didn’t move to formulate his plans, he knew something terrible would occur. Cloud knew he could not let that happen.

Whatever confusion lay within his feelings for Sephiroth, at the end of the day, Cloud was still fighting for a cause, and he still had to be motivated by his own true purposes. How could he detach himself from that? It’d been a defining part of his life for so long that it felt like his own shadow. To seek an ascetic, abstemious bit of sobriety after experiencing and opening himself up to all that he had so far was improbable.

This was in a way, quite toxic. He was hurting himself, though gradually. Bit by bit, the more resistance he put up, the more damage he would do. It was his immediate go-to source, especially when things were very confusing, and especially after he’d had little success with picking the lock on his door when Sephiroth made it a habit to lock him in. Eventually, due to his persistent nature, he’d found a way out of his room. Things remained dark and gloomy all around, and he reminded himself to quickly find a way back to his friends. Too much time had passed here in this dimension, and there was no telling how much more of it had passed on Gaia.

Was he even on Gaia, anymore?

When it felt like the world was spinning around himself, but he was forbidden to move, he would lash out at himself. Cloud would bite down on his lower lip harshly, kick at the walls, the doors, anything. Biting the insides of his cheeks only resulted in a coppery scent and taste flowing in his mouth, so he stopped. As much as he was frightened, he felt like the only way to escape would be to ‘disconnect’ himself from this world which contained so many damn mysteries, too many questions that would remain unanswered, and infinite possibilities about Sephiroth.

This never ceased to be confusing and problematic. Cloud had seen a rarefied version of Sephiroth in the memory he’d stumbled into, and he cursed himself to hell and back for it. Since viewing that ‘version’ of Sephiroth, he’d fallen into a deep, dark hole. It was an obsession, he’d soon grown to realize. He was obsessed with Sephiroth, and for once in his life, he truly wished it was because of the soul bond perpetuating these odd speculations regarding the One Winged Angel. Otherwise, he was losing himself to sheer insanity and self-perpetuated agony.

It was nothing short of boeotian, to be lost in this insanity.

Sephiroth’s behavior had been the root cause of his madness and confusion. He needed to know more and more, or so the soul bond forced Cloud to believe. It was never enough, but maybe if he kept at it, he would find the truth about everything that had happened. He could enjoy himself in his little escapes from melanic pain and confusion while he ruminated about Sephiroth’s secretive, obscure past, and just for a while, whenever he found time, he felt he could breathe.

This was clear. This made sense. And he deserved it.

The duplicitous, abominable behavior was too difficult to bear and endure. Sephiroth was swiftly and rapidly going from being gentle and doting, much like a lover or a husband, all the way to cold, aloof, distant, harsh, and petulant.

It was making Cloud sick, and he hated how unpredictable his bond-mate was.

 _‘Are there TWO Sephiroths, here?!’_ He had to wonder as he paced around in his room one day. Shuddering at the notion, Cloud immediately dismissed it as quickly as it’d arrived. _‘Two Sephiroths? Gosh, I can hardly even stand ONE!’_

His odd thoughts were his only companions before he decided that if Sephiroth truly wasn’t going to allow him to leave, then he would make his own escape. He could do it, after all. He’d been disconnected from all this, in the past, but it was a matter of coming to terms with it. Simply put, he had to ‘die’ to get out of this.

Easier said than done, especially when Sephiroth had taken all his weapons away. Still, Cloud was resourceful and resilient. The stubborn youth tried his hand at anything he could find. Smashing small flowerpots, he used the sharp pieces to try and make a knife. But did he really want to see the number of scars on his arms growing? Cloud wasn’t sure of that. Sephiroth was connected to him, and there was no denying this. When they’d last struggled, anytime Sephiroth had been harmed, it felt as though he was hurting himself multiple times.

Cloud didn’t want to take the risks and test the chance that if he would hurt himself in some way, Sephiroth would notice. Besides, what if by killing himself, he genuinely ended up hurt in the other realms? What if Sephiroth was the _only_ one who could release him?

The questions all assaulted him at every angle as he crept out of his room and moved along the hall. As his mind wandered, Cloud had to pause and ask himself how much of the mansion was even real.

To the right of the hall was the drawing room for entertainment, while to the left was the parlor, perhaps fit for a family. The parlor was done in earthy tones of brown, tans, greens and reds. The dark, grand piano dominated the back of the pale, green room opposite of the marble fireplace which had two brown, forest green, deep red, and tan tapestry settee with a low coffee table between them. To the right of the fireplace was the sideboard, which had the sterling tea tray placed on it. To the left of the fireplace was a card table elaborate with inlays.

Nothing had been disturbed, here.

The drawing room was white trimmed with walls done in light, Carolina sky blue. The settee and multiple chairs were all Queen Anne style mahogany wood, English Chintz in blues striped with the red floral with shades of green leaves. The two large and ornately carved cornices gilded with gold windows were dressed in pale, blue silk damask draperies.

There were pocket doors that closed off the room from the hall and also from an empty, ginormous lounge. Cloud supposed this had been where Shinra’s men could gather and drink their brandy, smoke their cigars and talk over the business. The walls were done in a darker ocean blue and trimmed in dark cream. The windows were treated with heavy velvet drapes in a lighter blue. The furniture was done in rich leather of couches and wingback chairs of deep burgundy. The dark, inlaid liquor cabinet had a brandy heavy lead crystal bottle with snifters on a tray on the top.

Going further into the mansion as he searched for other ways out, Cloud discovered the formal dining room which had a table that could seat up to twenty guests at the ornate Louis XV furniture. There was also a smaller family dining room which had a smaller table that perhaps sat six to ten people. However, while the table and room were smaller, it was no less formal than the larger dining room. He’d never been inside the Shinra Mansion beyond this, before, and he had to wonder how much of it was all based on Sephiroth’s real experiences and memories.

Was it impossible to consider that perhaps all this had been recreated based on not only Sephiroth’s strength, but also Cloud’s? Since the soul bond had strengthened between the two men, was it that far out of the ordinary to assume that Sephiroth was not only stronger now _because_ of Cloud’s consciousness and memories of the One Winged Angel, but that he was also becoming more _human?_

Too lost into his own reasons and thinking, Cloud’s brooding pressed a strange weight in his chest. As he’d turned to make his way back to the front hall of the mansion, he never saw the small javelin head protruding from the walls, hanging in the loose arm of an ancient armor set on display. Cloud knocked into the spear, accidentally, and as it slid and slipped, it fell and embedded itself deeply into his forearm once the tip transverberated through his flesh. Releasing a bloodcurdling, stentorian scream on impact, Cloud felt his throat close and the room spin. The surprise factor made it all worse; he hadn’t felt as much pain when he already knew it was coming, and this was so much worse.

Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, teeth ground against each other, and his fingers curled into his palm. Right when his knees could no longer hold his own weight up, he would’ve fallen to the ground had Sephiroth’s warm, long arms not reached around his waist and held him back up. Cloud’s back and shoulders connected with a sturdy chest, and he felt relief bearing down upon the crown of his head. Yet again, it seemed his body felt tremendous release and satisfaction once his bond-mate was within close proximity.

Turning Cloud around to face himself, a deeply perturbed Sephiroth mumbled something incoherent under his breath. Snatching Cloud’s bleeding arm in his grip, he hissed as he anxiously examined the depth and seriousness of the wound. The blood streamed out like a geyser, and Cloud felt his entire limb turning cold immediately.

Sephiroth swiftly yanked Cloud down the halls wordlessly, the trail and droplets of blood blending in with the rouge carpet of the floor, appearing rather black to the eyes.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

A sibilant hiss streamed forth from Cloud’s pursed lips as Sephiroth pressed down on his forearm with a green cloth soaked in antiseptic. Sephiroth had gently cleaned his wound with warm water before numbing it. Although he was handling Cloud quite gently, the younger male wasn’t pleased and overrun by a torpescence of happiness that would enable him to swoon in Sephiroth’s arms anytime soon.

Resentment and rage felt like a ten-ton object that had been dropped onto his head. Feeling crushed, Cloud sneered at Sephiroth and purposefully snatched his arm away after Sephiroth had finished wrapping it neatly in gauze and bandages. Pressing his arm to his chest, Cloud leered at his companion, but he never said a word to him. Sephiroth didn’t deserve any of his words, he felt.

The silence never bothered the older male. Far more patient than Cloud, he bowed his head slightly as he spoke out softly and melliloquently, “I leave you to your own devices for not even a few hours, and you’re already set on ending your own life. Tragic, isn’t it?”

Cloud didn’t need to say anything; Sephiroth already knew what his plans were. Snidely, he looked at his own gloves before shrugging an insouciant shrug. “You can’t go home the same way you always had.” Eyelashes long as they flapped like the wings of a moth, Sephiroth smirked, but more so for his own personal amusement than to appear warm and friendly. 

Killing himself wasn’t the solution, but Cloud had figured that out a tad too late. The only thing he could speculate was that Sephiroth controlled practically _everything_ here. This was his domain, and whatever he said would happen, immediately morphing into a significant part of this virtual reality.

But was he also stronger outside of this portal? Was that the entire purpose of the bond? Now, Cloud’s mind was overworking and overthinking, the gears and parts that made the wheels in his head spin and turn almost seeming as though they would ignite at any given moment.

Sephiroth suddenly shifted, and he dove forth. Wrapping a hand around the back of Cloud’s neck, he held the younger male in a potent grip. His nose buried itself into Cloud’s mop of blonde hair, and he inhaled deeply and slowly. He was no doubt savoring the scent, and it made Cloud’s stomach clench before dropping to his knees.

They’d been close a few times, but never like this. Compared to their other experiences of intimacy, they’d both been more mentally and emotionally prepared; the mood and ambiance perfectly set before any form of an embrace. Now, however, Sephiroth was truly behaving like a mad man out of control and unhinged…

Retaliating roughly, Cloud flung himself back into the sofa cushions, his elbow flying out to meet Sephiroth’s nose. As usual, he’d missed, and Sephiroth purred gratuitously as he inched to one side. Cloud’s elbow zipped by, and he jolted as he nearly fell off the edge of his seat.

_‘Bastard.’_

Taking one long look at Cloud’s hair, Sephiroth fondly and playfully ran his right hand through the strands. Pushing them back, he let out a deep rumble of a satiated purr. It caused the cushions Cloud was even seated on to shake.

“I’m really beginning to enjoy your hair,” Sephiroth randomly stated with a crooked grin. “It’s so soft. I think it’s one of your most refining features, Cloud.” Churlishly, he plucked a few strands right out from the roots, holding them up to his own eyes for a closer inspection.

This time, Cloud roared a rather barbed curse word at him while quinching, the nefastous, stinging sensation of having his hair torn out of his scalp sending him into a small frenzy.

Paying him no mind, Sephiroth smiled almost lovingly at the hairs. Closing his fist around them, he held them closely to his own body as he warmly gazed at Cloud.

Standing slowly to his full height, he began backing out of the room as he orated in an altisonant tone, “I think I’ll collect and braid them…who knows, maybe one day, I’ll have enough to use as delightful ornaments for my sword.” With a stridently shrewd laugh that teetered on malice, Sephiroth continued to back out of the room.

If Cloud’s arm was properly and fully healed, he would’ve grabbed the large, medieval helmet resting on a thick mount on the other side of the sofa to throw it at Sephiroth. For now, the steady string of epithets churning about in a disgusting, execrable blend within his mind sufficed.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Now, they faced a war of attrition.

That same evening, Cloud found Sephiroth in the gardens. He was relatively close to the open fields and meadows, crouched as he enjoyed observing and prodding a few fingers at the stems of an exotic arrangement of flowers. Masamune nowhere in sight, Sephiroth was unarmed, and essentially a lower level of a threat. For the longest time, after sneaking out of his room, Cloud had resorted to silently watching what his bond-mate was doing. He didn’t want to react too brazenly and ruin his chances of slipping away undetected.

Cloud didn’t feel too much stronger since his wound had been addressed and covered. At least the bleeding had stopped, but since he hadn’t eaten, yet, Cloud was rapidly losing his energy. Apoplectic with the need for vengeance, he forced himself to refocus his vision on Sephiroth’s turned back as he peeked at the older warrior behind a large water fountain.

It was a rather strange sight, coupled with an even stranger ambiance. The air was rife with the delightfully enticing scent of the various exotic flowers sprouting from the earth. A few birds flew off in the distance, singing and exchanging their own secrets only nature would be able to decipher. Sephiroth knelt before the flowers, humming pleasantly without any care in the world.

This opportunity was too good to be true…what was the catch?

Sephiroth tipped his head to one side, singing his melodiously enchanting tune to himself. The perfect opportunity was waiting right before Cloud. Though the ground beneath his feet tilted and swayed, he crossed the threshold, holding his breath the entire time. If there was one good thing he had going for himself, it was his refined stealth. With Sephiroth singing and humming with his back turned this way, Cloud was positive he would never hear or anticipate an oncoming attack.

Closer…closer…closer. His boots hovered half an inch above the ground with each step. He wasn’t going to take the chance of bearing his weight onto the earth and giving away his position. Steadily, he approached, a small rock in his right hand. Curling his fingers strongly around it in his grip, he raised it above his own head, and he aimed to bring it down brutally over Sephiroth’s skull.

Right before Cloud was able to cause harm, Sephiroth whirled around in the blink of an eye. With inhuman speed, he knocked the stone out of Cloud’s hand, rounding on him viciously with a deep, guttural growl. Slamming himself into the smaller, shorter male’s frame, Sephiroth sent them both tumbling to the ground.

Not one to lose a fight that easily until he’d spent all the air in his lungs, Cloud kneed Sephiroth as hard as he could right in the thighs. Sephiroth clamped his legs over Cloud, straddling him as he swiftly turned him and shoved the smaller male to lie flatly on his chest and stomach. Aggressively, Cloud attacked back by raising his right leg, drawing it so it was bent at the knee, and he cleverly kicked Sephiroth in the center of his spine.

Losing his balance, the ignoble older male slipped off Cloud, who instantly was upon him, eager to continue the scuffle. As they snarled and growled at each other like wild animals fighting over a scrap of meat, they went rolling and tumbling off the top of the grassy hill. Over and over again, Cloud and Sephiroth got entangled together, their limbs, hair, and clothing practically choking each other. Still, they doggedly pursued landing harsh blows and kicks. Sephiroth punched Cloud twice in the chest, and Cloud countered with harsh jabs aimed at Sephiroth’s upper arms, shoulders, and jaw.

Grass, twigs, loose leaves, flower petals, mud, and tiny bits of gravel got wrapped in their hair and clothing, but they showed no signs of stopping. Their bodies gained momentum in the downward slope of the hill, and as the laws of physics gained the upper hand, Cloud flew high above Sephiroth’s head. He crashed into a large pile of flowers, the softness of their horde helping minimize the damage his body would’ve otherwise sustained. The breath had been knocked clean out of him, but it wasn’t over, yet. Sephiroth landed right next to him a second later, and the moment he lay himself on his back, Cloud leapt on top of the momentarily stunned older warrior.

Sephiroth snatched the youth’s wrists, effectively blocking and preventing Cloud from punching the daylights out of him. Cloud was held back, but that seriously pissed him off even more. While he couldn’t bash Sephiroth’s nose in, he still used his fingers to claw and yank on Sephiroth’s long hair. Hooking his fingers as much as they could go into the older male’s silvery locks, Cloud tugged fiercely. Growling in discomfort and pain, Sephiroth tightened his hold over Cloud’s waist with his toned, long legs. In a clean motion, he rolled himself over Cloud, and then worked quickly to pry Cloud’s fingers away from his hair.

Slamming Cloud’s hands down above his head in one of his own stronger ones, Sephiroth shifted to the side. When he did, his knee accidentally grazed over the raging erection Cloud had sported. This resulted in the younger male half-groaning, half-crying out in pleasure from the physical contact.

Bewildered, the recalcitrant blonde found he had no idea he’d even been suffering through with a tumescent arousal all this time. Instinctively, Cloud parted his knees slightly before realizing what he’d done.

Sephiroth froze, completely overrun by shock. Due to his puzzlement, his hold loosened around his junior’s wrists. Swiftly, Cloud snaked his hands upwards out of his grip and into Sephiroth’s hair. This time, however, instead of yanking on the strands, he gently massaged them and curled them onto his own face.

Writhing and pushing his hips with much urgency and desperation against Sephiroth’s, Cloud wasted no time in grabbing onto Sephiroth’s shoulders. Pulling the other male directly as close as he could get, Cloud’s eyes rolled back into his head and he let out a deep moan of pure content when he felt languid warmth pooling into his lower torso.

Sephiroth had worked his hand up along the insides of his legs, and all too quickly, he’d snuck his hand right down Cloud’s pants.

Arching into Sephiroth’s hand shamelessly, Cloud clung tightly to the older male’s shoulders, kneading the flesh roughly. Sephiroth’s hand gripped and gently squeezed his erection, though he never went beneath the underwear. Teasing Cloud, he stroked him for a few seconds before his hand slid upwards and out of the youth’s clothes.

They soon weren’t able to control themselves. Now that the tension had grown to be too much to contain, like a waterfall, everything erupted and flowed over at once. They never wanted to cease touching one another, as though hooked on a drug.

Emboldened by the sudden turn of events, Cloud could no longer remain placid and composed. Pinning Sephiroth down with a raw burst of energy he never knew he possessed, Cloud situated himself on top of the other male quickly. Their hips slid together deliciously, and when Cloud ground down experimentally over what he assumed was Sephiroth’s much larger, thicker erection, he’d been rewarded with a deep groan that bled sex and desire.

It was such a beautiful sound coming from Sephiroth, and Cloud wanted to hear it once more. As he slid his hips down over Sephiroth’s, the stronger male groaned, and as he shuddered, a soft rustling sound emanated from somewhere. It sounded like cloth of a drape being pushed back. When Cloud moved to inspect it, as he ground down over Sephiroth’s cock, the older male let out a raw hiss while wincing. Something dark flashed abruptly, and the sound soon became obvious to Cloud.

He couldn’t help but smirk in triumph when he saw Sephiroth’s wing jutting out. Though Cloud was still young and relatively inexperienced when it came to pleasures involving the flesh, in his own mind, he entertained the possibility that when Sephiroth’s wing had come out, it likely symbolized how rapidly he was losing his self-control. It felt _so_ damn good to be the one to make such a stoic, taciturn man lose composure this way.

Absentmindedly, Cloud turned his attention to the wing, fixated on it curiously, at first. The feathers were so long, large, thick, and so lovely. He hadn’t noticed much about it in terms of close details, but then again, how could he when Sephiroth had always been so elusive? This was a much softer, gentler side to the One Winged Angel, and Cloud had just started admiring it all.

Cheeks turning red, he tenderly ran two of his fingers along the top of the wingspan, and as he did, Sephiroth let out a shudder. His eyes snapped closed on their own accord, and he tilted his head back, exposing his long, pale throat before Cloud. This was so refreshing. Cloud wanted so much more of this, and he again tried to stroke Sephiroth’s dark feathers. Sephiroth allowed it, his wing convulsing greedily to every touch bestowed onto it.

How could someone so cold, demeaning, and so cruel feel so soft, so gentle, so warm, and so full of life? Sephiroth looked purely radiant and regal beneath Cloud, trying to maintain his composure as Cloud ran his fingers all the way from the primary feathers to the ends of the tertial ones. Sephiroth’s eyes snapped open, and his wing seemed to twitch in spasmodic tremors anytime Cloud touched him. It was almost as if the wing was a separate entity itself, with a mind of its own, and a nervous system that would react independently of how its owner felt.

With Sephiroth watching him with lustful, subrident eyes, Cloud’s greedy fingers dug bruises into his bond-mate’s right shoulder and scraped against his axillary feathers. Moving back down to touch Sephiroth’s primary and secondary feathers, first, Cloud ran a little experiment of his own. He’d noticed easily that Sephiroth was more sensitive around the ends of his scapulars and axillary feathers. The underside of his wing was where Cloud assumed some sort of odd gland was, right near the end of his axillaries. It felt like a tiny bulb, and Cloud had accidentally brushed it a few times, drawing out deep, sensual moans from Sephiroth each and every time he aimed to touch that spot.

Absolute beauty.

Stroking the bulb, Cloud felt Sephiroth’s deep groan through his very body. Arching his upper torso into the touches Cloud bestowed upon him, Sephiroth’s dark wing tensed and trembled, the guttural sounds of sheer pleasure pouring generously out of his mouth like music. All it did was encourage Cloud to be more daring with his touching.

Cloud’s fingers were pressing out against the ebony feathers, skating inside the long wing until they were nudging Sephiroth’s sensitive axillaries. The younger male’s hands slid down over his bond-mate’s shoulder and pressed into the base of his wing, kneading with added pressure and determination. When Sephiroth shuddered and groaned desperately, Cloud quickly took to adding another finger to tug at a particularly thick, primary feather. Stroking it lewdly as though it were something else elongated in his own incorrigible imagination, his wanton, titillating motions drew out another breathy gasp from the older male.

The two warriors were so hard that it began hurting them both. Blinking past his blatant discomfort, Cloud felt his cries mixing with the overwhelming pleasure radiating from fondly stroking Sephiroth’s wing. He basked in the reactions every time Sephiroth arched into his hold and would incoherently beg for more as Cloud pulled at his feathers.

He soon learned that spreading his warm fingers through the thick feathers of Sephiroth’s wing resulted in sending spikes of heat through the One Winged Angel’s body. He loosened his grip on the wing, stroking the feathers back into place carefully. The older male trembled against him, sighing at the gentle caress while rutting up against his junior. When he looked at Cloud again, the silver-haired male’s vibrant green eyes were hungry, but there was something else lingering there. It set Cloud’s heart stuttering.

He buried both his hands in Sephiroth’s wing, and the warrior cried out libidinously, again. Knowing he’d lost some of his cold composure, Sephiroth clamped the back of hand over his own mouth this time. Cloud’s hands fell from his bond-mate’s neck to his shoulder, where he deliberately slid it down his back to where the wing joined with the skin of Sephiroth’s back. It amazed him with fond dizziness to get a good feel for where Sephiroth’s wing protruded from his back. His fingers pressed lightly where the appendage began and Sephiroth gasped as his hips bucked up lewdly into Cloud.

Biting his lower lip to keep himself silent, Cloud’s wide hand moved down the length of the wing to where the feathers became the thickest. Greedily, he buried them deeply so he could grab as many feathers in one go as roughly as possible.

Sephiroth swallowed thickly, bowing his head as Cloud reached out along the remaining inches to run his fingers over the soft, downy feathers. Lost in the heat and desire bubbling within himself, Cloud wasn’t prepared for the jolt that Sephiroth’s touch sent through his body when the older man’s firm hands held onto Cloud’s hips to keep him in place. Moving and driving his lap upwards into Cloud, Sephiroth’s wing jerked violently under the stunned, ex-infantryman’s careful fingers. When the appendage flapped a few times in the warm air, it created a fresh, cool breeze. That greatly helped Cloud’s skin cool off, and he gave out a content sigh.

It was Cloud’s turn to pant and swallow thickly when he espied how delightfully Sephiroth’s wing twitched, jerking roughly before settling back to light trembling. Instinctively, when he felt something thick and hard jutting up from beneath Sephiroth’s dark pants, prodding and poking the left of his bottom, Cloud ground down against it. His experimental motions were rewarded with a guttural sound from Sephiroth’s throat, blasting through into Cloud’s sexually charged brain and targeting every delicious, delectable spot.

Gyrating against the hardness rubbing exquisitely back and forth beneath his covered hole, Cloud felt his cock twitching, and a moment later, his puckered entrance did as well. Past shame, he pressed down roughly, spreading his legs obscenely as he tried making enough room for Sephiroth to thrust up against his sensitive body.

There was an undisguised awe in Sephiroth’s soft voice, and his lust blown eyes were shining even brighter. His fingers were digging into Cloud’s hips to the point where it could cause serious bruising, but Cloud didn’t want him to stop. He felt like he could burst if he ceased to touch that powerful wing.

Obviously, Sephiroth noticed his partner’s eagerness and put his wing down to make it more accessible. It draped around Cloud’s side, covering half his body while the tips of the fluffy feathers brushed up against the left side of the youth’s torso. Maybe this was Sephiroth’s way of returning the intimate gestures as his wing slid along his partner’s feverish skin. The aroused male shivered and threw a pleading look to Sephiroth, who nodded and brought them even closer by sitting up.

Settling into Sephiroth’s lap, Cloud lost no time in patting and caressing the gorgeous wing. Sighing and cooing, Cloud immediately dug his warm flesh in against the tenebrose feathers leisurely draped over his body. Like a feline, he arched and leaned into them for a moment. When they grazed down the length of his arm, Cloud felt something moist clinging to his skin. The residue seemed to be soft oil when he touched it. It had no distinct smell, but it glistened quite brightly.

What was this interesting specimen?

Drawing away from feeling the silky feathers sliding between his fingers and the warmth seeping through his palms, Cloud gingerly followed the trail of the mysterious oil. Mapping it out back to the underside of the wing, Cloud wasn’t too shocked to discover that the source of the oil production came from the little bulb embedded within Sephiroth’s axillaries. Eyeing it as he fell into deeper states of bewilderment, Cloud noticed that anytime he poked the oleiferous bulb, more oil would secrete from it. Spreading and moistening over the feathers, the down got saturated with the fine sheen of oil, and Cloud knew it served a purpose of protecting Sephiroth’s wing from harsher natural elements.

Amazing.

Beyond the point of containing himself, a highly aroused Cloud moaned and shivered, his already hard cock getting impossibly harder. Much to Cloud’s surprise, Sephiroth shifted up against him with firm drive as he gripped his ass. The older male showed Cloud how exactly he wanted and needed him to move back in time with his thrusting, and Cloud happily obliged. Sephiroth moaned along with him, rocking and bucking his hips against Cloud’s lap, his cock sliding along the blonde’s. Their strained members pressed up against the fabric of their pants, but Cloud wanted to be closer.

It was all burning, now, but he never stopped circling his hips and grinding them down as Sephiroth helped him move. Both hands now shifting to firmly plant themselves on Cloud’s hipbones, Sephiroth drew his face up against Cloud’s neck, panting and growling into the skin. The steam rose around them, and Cloud’s eyes tightly snapped shut.

With Sephiroth’s warm breath fogging and heating up his skin, Cloud felt himself tightening all over his cock, from base to tip. Desperately crying something incoherent and messy out, he felt instead of watched as Sephiroth’s wing fluttered and flapped. Simultaneously, as it did, Sephiroth went rigid beneath his tortured body. Following into divine rapture and morbid lasciviousness, as he threw his head back and shouted out the older male’s name, Cloud shamefully felt his underwear growing increasingly wet and sullied.

It must’ve been the same for Sephiroth. Twitching and shuddering erratically, he somehow remained far more composed and sangfroid than Cloud, but it was obvious to the passionate youth that Sephiroth had experienced release, also. His fingers hooked onto Cloud’s bones, sliding up over his ribs, eventually finding purchase by cupping and cradling the back of his skull. Flush against each other, Cloud turned beet red once he felt how messy this all was, yet how damn sensational the experience had been.

After groaning out in quite the strained voice, Sephiroth’s wing grew slack, and a few feathers fell to the ground softly. Cloud and Sephiroth clung to each other for many long minutes, never releasing their hold, as though they didn’t know how to do anything else. Cloud took his time to sniff Sephiroth’s hair and bask in their close heat. Chest pressing against the older warrior’s, Cloud sincerely hoped that from their closeness, Sephiroth would be able to feel just how wildly his heart was beating…that he could know and understand how this made him feel…

And at once, it was all disrupted and broken.

Glaring past Cloud’s head like his eyes were laser beams, Sephiroth sneered and gently wriggled himself away. Detaching their hips, first, he then separated their bodies completely by pushing Cloud carefully down to the grassy earth. Gathering his long uniform coat and brushing the dirt and bits of grass off it, without anything else said, without even a single bit of effort made to acknowledge Cloud, Sephiroth stalked off back up the hill.

The absolute quiet that followed told Cloud that this was done. That specific, heavy quiet seemed to permeate everywhere, flowing through him until Cloud felt gone, himself. He’d traveled far beyond this realm, floating away on a sea of darkness. The air he was squeezing through his agonizingly congested lungs was no longer enough to tie him to this earth.

Bitterly, he knew that Sephiroth had been right, once more…

As painful as that concept was in the broad terms of Cloud attempting to disimmure and disillude himself, he knew he wanted Sephiroth, and now, it lay within the confirmation of his assumptions that Sephiroth did indeed want him, as well.

A man truly did understand the body of another man, and what it wanted the most. 


	26. Stendhal Syndrome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Stendhal syndrome’, or ‘Florence syndrome’ is a psychosomatic condition involving rapid heartbeat, fainting, confusion and even hallucinations, allegedly occurring when individuals become exposed to objects or phenomena of great beauty.

Discountenance and deeper problems could never be fully evaded. Cloud was facing a huge wall of problems he never dreamed of facing, and the wall was growing larger and heavier day by day. Soon, it would smother him, and he feared losing time before he had a chance to create a shield out of the small bits and pieces scattered across his solitude by the winds of sedition.

The problems had taken on entities. They had names; they had their own identities. Zack’s estranged and unpredictable behavior was a rather tremendous one that still tossed Cloud’s brain into a scrambled mess of fire and confusion. Zack hardly seemed like he was capable of answering much of anything Cloud had asked him. Though the memories appeared to Cloud slowly, like stepping into cold water carefully to give the rest of the body enough time to adjust to the temperature, they never abandoned him. On the hour, every hour, they came back to trouble and haunt the young ex-SOLDIER.

Zack didn’t seem like himself. Cloud thought he’d been driven mad due to his inner turmoil at the hands of Shinra and Sephiroth. After all, his life had spiraled out of control, and perhaps he’d been quite exhausted from all the major upheavals and obstacles in his way. Zack had been recovering, after all. Of course he wouldn’t remember much of anything, and of course it would take time before he fully was able to explain his side of the truth.

Yes…that seemed reasonable…at first. Only, far too much time had passed, and when Cloud traveled into Wutai’s most popular tourist attractions and zones, that was when he’d scented something peculiar and perplexing about Zack. It wasn’t like Zack to be so vapid, vacuous, and officious to anything, especially regarding his own past.

He’d asked Zack specifically about his experiences fighting Shinra. As much as Cloud never wanted to go around poking into a tumultuous past that enabled him to feel pain and anguish unlike anything he’d ever felt before, he had to. It was the only way they could get to the bottom of things.

What had Zack recalled after Sephiroth’s death? What had Cloud himself even recalled? Perhaps if they spoke, together, they would be able to reach a certain conclusion. That’d been what Cloud had planned all along, but it seemed like fate had ordained for something that ran opposite to Cloud’s needs and desires. As it were, Zack had been even more delusional, delirious, and scatter-brained than when he had woken up in the medical cabin. When Cloud had asked him a few questions as they paced out of the cemetery, even regarding his own supposed ‘death’, Zack became dead silent, discordant, and just stared off into space.

This was unnerving, and not at all like Zack. He’d disassociated and slipped far more than what Cloud had known regarding PTSD. This was Zack Fair, of all people. He’d been Cloud’s strength, his light, his guidance. There was just no way he was randomly going to shut himself away now, especially when he was most needed.

Something was off, but Cloud was a resourceful, determined young man. Perhaps for the most part, the planet held its fair share of dark secrets never to be uncovered. That was, after all what made life more rapturous and exciting, but Cloud despised concealment of any kind. Not one for surprises, even good ones, he spent a bit of time in his sequestered solitude thinking about what didn’t fit, what stood out like a sore thumb, what he’d ignored, what he’d buried in the subconscious layers of his mind, and what inferences he had based on observation.

What was he left with, at the end? A splitting headache, skepticism, as well as huge gaping holes all over the narrative. It was a hindrance, and it had no place here.

Steadily, as stricken and as unnerved as he was, Cloud formed a serious plan that he _was_ intending to follow through with this time. Distractions and torpor had no place, here. Instead, he had to remain steadfast and strong in order to get himself and Avalanche through the fulsome torvity and unknown elements of their future.

Another hot bath did little to alleviate Cloud’s incessant aches. However, he was able to haul himself up out of the bathtub unassisted, which was an improvement, he supposed. He’d spent too much time in there thinking, and in the end, he reached a final conclusion he’d later hatched into a plan. It was as good as the small ‘seeds’ of planting an idea were concerned, but Cloud felt he could actually go somewhere successful with his current agenda.

They had to go back to Nibelheim. Tenuously and shakily, the young Avalanche member decided that as difficult and as excruciating of an experience it would be to walk down memory lane to visit Shinra Manor, it just had to be done. Zack would probably snap out of it once they all found out what had happened there, together.

It’d been decided, and Cloud wasn’t willing to change his mind or budge on this. Whether Zack would accompany him willingly or otherwise wasn’t even up for date. They were going together, one way or another.

However, before he even could think of ideas on how to recruit his friends to journey along with himself, he remembered everything that had happened between himself and his keeper. Since the lazy afternoon the two young men had explored a new way to enjoy each other’s body, unfortunately, they’d retreated and avoided each other right after.

All too well, it was closely akin to the first time they’d caved into the bond’s requirements and had whatever form of bizarre intimacy that was. Keeping up with his character and reserved personality, Sephiroth was subdued and had eschewed all forms of contact with Cloud. Refusing to socialize with him, however, genuinely provided them both with the time they seriously needed to recuperate.

Cloud felt shy on the first day after the incident in the yards, but after that day had passed in his own solitude, he felt less awkward and strange about what had happened. Perhaps it was time for him to shed his own shirking innocence and grow into a more realistic perspective of life and what intimacy entailed. There was nothing inherently wrong with whatever it was they’d done and experienced together. Achieving a certain level of closeness wasn’t something to be frowned upon, and Cloud was starting to question it less in terms of the gender of his partner.

It was truly strange. A younger, less inclined version of himself would’ve frowned upon and shunned any idea of being with a man. Now, it didn’t bother him, and as he replayed the events over and over again in his own private room, he felt he wanted for it to happen again…and for it to continue into a deeper level of intimacy that would no doubt please them both.

Sadly, if he had been setting expectations for his body not to react when he went over recalling what had occurred, he was in for great disappointment. Cloud had to run off into the bathroom and have a longer than normal shower, only this time, he wasn’t cursing himself for fantasizing about Sephiroth.

When he walked out of the bathroom and found Sephiroth hovering near the door, his temper got the best of him. He hoped he hadn’t been thinking too ‘loudly’ to channel and project his thoughts. If Sephiroth heard him, then…

Running his fingers through his hair before he flushed and tossed his towel aside, Cloud sourly threw out, “Look, you really don’t have to hang around here all day.” Gesturing at the enclosed walls, he supplied with bite, “It’s not like I can go anywhere.”

Sephiroth’s glib response somehow took time to settle in. “Are you propositioning me, or mocking me, Cloud?” he asked far too bluntly, causing great concern within the younger male in the room.

Grateful that he was at least dressed, Cloud’s handsome face creased in a detestable frown. “I wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

“Then what are we discussing here?” Sephiroth demanded in an obdurate way that stirred something potent and malignant within Cloud.

Even the hot-headed, intransigent Cloud Strife had to give this some thought. Just _what_ was going on, here, anyway? Gazing at Sephiroth from head to toe, and then back up again, as though he held all the answers, Cloud soon knew he’d grown terrified. He wasn’t exactly terrified of Sephiroth, or of what he was capable of. In fact, Cloud’s fears remained hinged on the brutal concern he had of giving in to his longings for this desirable man.

Compared to now, before they were even involved, the former Shinra SOLDIER could see how this relationship would go. Now that the soul bond made them feel as though they were one complete unit, Sephiroth would fill all those hollow places inside him, teach his dour, combative spirit things about passion he couldn’t even imagine. Knowing Sephiroth, though, this could’ve been a huge problem. Once the One Winged Angel conquered over him, he would move on to his next conquest, leaving him behind, shattered, broken, alone, and done for.

And if he stayed? More issues and more time would be wasted. Either way, Cloud conceded that he was somehow trapped and doomed, and he would have to make a decision which would no doubt ultimately lead to one party feeling utterly and miserably betrayed so the other side could be free. Was the payoff worth it?

While Cloud pondered it all and weighed his options carefully, Sephiroth observed the befuddled blonde with increasing amounts of curiosity. “You want to leave, don’t you?” His rushed, anxious words were quelled under the unreadable hardness of that chiseled mouth and jaw.

Knowing he’d been caught, Cloud skipped past lying and providing some excuses that would fail and fall flatly on the ground and likely leave him looking as petulant and useless as he imagined he already appeared before Sephiroth.

How much degradation could a young person go through? Wasn’t it all enough? Hadn’t the torture been dragged out for enough, now?

Head craned low like a scolded child standing before an irate adult, Cloud demurred, “It’s not that I want to leave forever; I just need to see my friends.” Fearful of looking at Sephiroth, he hoped this mussitated answer would suffice. Again, the heat and wanton need to connect with Sephiroth, coupled with all the things they’d already experienced and done together coursed into Cloud. Like a harsh slap to the face, he felt it spreading in icy bits, reducing him to a trembling mess incapable of proper thought and speech.

Sephiroth now had a place in his heart and in his life, and there was no running from that harsh fact and denying it. Sephiroth was tied to him. Whenever Cloud was alone, almost too naturally, like a bad habit, the young man found himself thinking of Sephiroth for at least half an hour each day. To separate now would be as harsh and painful as cutting out a chunk of his flesh, and he didn’t want to even think about it. Who would’ve even thought that _Sephiroth_ , of all people, of all creatures on Gaia would be the one man at the center of Cloud’s universe?

It remained the case, and Cloud was suffering as he reminded himself of this. He had long ago answered the age-old debate about whether it was better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

_‘But I’ve lost so much, already…’_

His heart and soul screamed out to him that losing Sephiroth in _any_ way would undoubtedly kill him. It might have sounded pessimistic or melodramatic, but it was the truth of his soul. Loving Sephiroth from afar without a doubt was quite difficult, but he knew he could survive in that kind of limbo. God knew, he’d been living there the last six years without even realizing that his hatred of the past had morphed and grown into an obsession he welcomed. But to discover how much more he could have, and then to lose it, _that_ , he was _not_ strong enough to withstand.

Scoffing and glancing down at his gloves, Sephiroth murmured with calculated gentleness, “I hadn’t meant to trap you here for all time. Surely, you knew that.” Shifting back, he nearly leaned against a wall, but then stood away from it. Peering down at Cloud, he huffed at the youth before he coldly broke eye contact.

“You can come and go as you please, but I encourage you to consider one thing,” Sephiroth carefully suggested, with just the right amount of hope thrown in. The man could seduce a saint, Cloud thought as his partner’s earnest expression shivered through him.

If Sephiroth caught onto it, he was doing well to shield himself away from his bond-mate’s blatant concern. Pressing on, he moved his weight between his legs as he pointed out softly, “You need to realize that there’s too much at stake here.”

“Way to add on the pressure,” Cloud facetiously and sarcastically fired out. “I already don’t know what to do, and you’re backing me into a corner.”

Looking sideways with a surreptitious eye on Cloud, Sephiroth furtively muttered, “What about our future?”

That had to be a first. Cloud couldn’t recall the last instance in which his resourceful foe was stumped, but it gripped him with renewed torvity.

Not yet having lost the power to act, Cloud halted as close to his bond-mate as he could get without actually touching him. He could feel the heat pouring off Sephiroth’s body. His sinuses were tickled by his bond-mate’s expensive aftershave and the sweeter, more alluring natural male scent of Sephiroth, himself.

“Our future?” Eyes glazing over in lust, Cloud repeated, “What about our future?” Taking a deep breath, the stricken male tried to master his reeling senses, but Sephiroth was simply too near. He could have ignored the aftershave, but never the older warrior’s natural aroma, and every breath inhaled brought another blast of that heady bouquet.

How could he escape from the tentiginous looks and sensations Sephiroth bestowed upon him?

Slowly, Cloud’s thunderstruck eyes registered the fine quiver that was coursing blithely through this man he’d always considered invincible. It was hard to see at first, since Sephiroth controlled himself so well. But when Cloud looked intently at those broad shoulders and the powerful forearms flexing against the dark fabric, he could detect the barest tremor.

So, Sephiroth wasn’t as cold and nettlesome as he led others to assume. Maybe he _could_ feel, after all…preposterous? Or a most natural inclination?

His mouth running dry at the discovery, Cloud tried to find some words that would not come across in the wrong way. He was hopeless when it came to the finer emotions, and he was confused with reading Sephiroth. By all accounts, this was Cloud’s first real ‘relationship’. Nervous and anxious as he was about the finer points of it, he knew this was also his first relationship with a member of the same sex. Looking at Sephiroth for as long as he had, Cloud came to the conclusion that he could never treat the older male as he would Tifa or Aerith. Sephiroth wasn’t a woman he could romance and win over by wooing, and to even think of doing such a thing was stupid. Gifts and soft-flowing words all flowery and cute wouldn’t work and apply, here.

They were two different people, yet they weren’t. They were separated by their own moral foundations, yet they were strangely bound by one similar feature that served as a significant part of their identity.

All they knew, all they’d ever known was killing and hurting. Solace and nurturing were utterly alien to their emotional makeup, almost beyond their imaginations. Cloud didn’t feel regretful or weak when he’d been ‘saved’ out of that lifestyle and mindset. What was a life without love, compassion, and tolerance? There was hope for himself, and he’d used whatever tools he found and picked up over the months to make a change for himself. He had a fighting chance, but did Sephiroth? Could Sephiroth avail himself to the same principles and conditions of a peaceful, civil lifestyle after everything he’d said and done?

How? Whenever he tried to be supportive enough to imagine such, Cloud knew that it was tasteless and pointless. Sephiroth was too set in his ways, but God, Cloud wanted for him to change. He’d thought of bringing that up as a concern even now, especially considering their ‘future’. Unfortunately, Cloud swallowed the words before they even made it onto his tongue. To even speak them would ensure that he inevitably came across as condescending, and he could not afford to have that happen here. He’d received so little real nurturing in his formative years that Cloud truly had no clue as to how to go about this.

Still, for some unknown emotional reason, for Sephiroth, he would try. When he found his voice, it emerged as a choked-back whisper. “You know, I’m also starting to think of a future where things don’t have to be as they once were…”

“I can see you shaking, and I can even hear the uncertainty in your voice,” Sephiroth practically hissed, holding himself so tightly by weaving his arms about his waist that Cloud could almost feel the effort it was taking his senior ex-SOLDIER to contain his turbulent emotions.

Recognizing how deeply Sephiroth was troubled as he tried repressing and burying no doubt his own emotions, Cloud chose to press on robustly. He was now quite eager to see just how much it would take for Sephiroth to buckle down and show some god damn emotions. Just for _once_ , Cloud wanted to know what Sephiroth felt, what it would take for him to break down…

Tilting his head to one side, Cloud arched up an eyebrow as he wondered aloud, “Do _you_ worry about the future, Sephiroth?”

Snorting, the malapert older male snapped viciously, “I don’t need to.” As always, Sephiroth seemed set in his ways, and totally unyielding.

Challenging that claim, Cloud boldly exclaimed, “You’re afraid of it, aren’t you?”

Turning away sharply like one who’d been burned, Sephiroth hissed, “I’ve never feared anything in my life.” Sephiroth had voiced the preposterous claim as though it were a law of physics, something totally incontestable.

Nevertheless, Cloud knew he’d gained some sort of new powers and abilities. Perhaps after spending so much personal time around Sephiroth and observing him, he’d come to be sharp and wise. He could read the very real panic lurking beneath that quiet declaration of phony bravado. It was quite obvious that Sephiroth was capable of feeling fear, too.

With his heart lodging in his throat, it took Cloud a moment to reply. “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared almost every minute of every day.” Watching his partner, Cloud found it maddening to be unable to see Sephiroth’s eyes; they were always the passport to his true feelings. The older male however was doing whatever was in his power to purposefully avoid staring at Cloud.

Trying to judge his bond-mate’s moods and thoughts by a flash of a partial expression or through body language was hard going, at best. Due to his training, no doubt, Sephiroth was a master at disguising his emotions. Without the proper glance at the emotions in his eyes, it was impossible to read him.

Everything Cloud knew, had come to know, and was still currently learning about his fiercely independent bond-mate was telling him that Sephiroth had to be enraged by this imposition, yet he couldn’t pick the anger up on what little he could see of the handsome face. They were both withholding from each other, but unlike the past and ever insurmountable attrition suffered, as far as Cloud was able to determine, Sephiroth wasn’t abstaining for the purposes of harming him; he was doing it because he was trying to protect them both.

Realizing that drastic situations called for drastic solutions, Cloud purposefully reached out to brush his fingers over Sephiroth’s cheek in an unabashedly sensual stroke. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but he knew that Sephiroth would handle anger a lot better than his present mortification.

Gently, he pondered aloud, “Do you want to be a part of my life, Sephiroth?”

They both seemed stunned and abhorred by the question, but they recovered from its effects rather quickly. Sephiroth soon began leaning into the caresses, and Cloud felt courageous enough to advance in his touching.

The younger male let his thumb glide over the tensed mouth. He’d expected a furious right cross with his bare hands and fingers traced the defined, chiseled jawline Sephiroth had, but the taller male didn’t move. He watched in fascination as Sephiroth’s full lips parted in a soundless gasp. Their lower bodies were suddenly pressed together, and for all he had, Cloud truly didn’t understand how and when they’d moved themselves into such a position. All he knew and recognized was the feeling of a cock prodding into his right hip, and it caused him to jerk upwards in response.

That helpless reaction garnered by their biology, do doubt enhanced by the bond, changed everything as Cloud read the message his bond-mate’s body was sending him. He was overwhelmed with serene joy upon finally realizing that Sephiroth wasn’t horrified and wanting out. To the contrary, Sephiroth seemed adamant and importunate with his needs.

When Cloud slowed down and drew back, Sephiroth growled, as though irate that was going to discover just how much his aroused, needy body wanted for them to continue.

The responses Sephiroth was sending out made this a whole new ball game...a whole new ball game, indeed, the stunned Cloud Strife conceded.

But what to do about it, he wondered.

Basically, there were only two options, each entailing its own special set of consequences. Either they would follow through with what they’d started, or not.

The latter choice would be the saner one in the end, Cloud knew. Perhaps their bodies and souls would be interminably tortured, but self-control was key. Jumping the gun was often what’d landed people in trouble throughout history. Yes, they had to stop. A speedy withdrawal, and they could both pretend this had never happened, try to carry on as normal.

Only...he knew himself, and Cloud knew Sephiroth. The memory of this scene would eat away at them both like slow-burning acid, eroding Cloud’s self-image until the day arrived when even the icy cold, seemingly detached One Winged Angel wouldn’t be able to deny the shamefully insufferable memories.

If they resisted and rejected this, they would be forced to leave or terminate their partnership. Would the bond allow for that? Would they truly die together?? Soothly, when Cloud considered it, he knew that it would help and provide so many benefits if Sephiroth was gone. Avalanche had been fighting for that for such a long time, now. Would he be able to sacrifice himself to test it?

The alternative was risky, at best, but the most tempting one. To stay, to be held, to be cherished, to be wanted and desired, by his bond-mate especially…that was irreplaceably and irrevocably exquisite. All that was enough to make quite a stir in his heart, but what lay beyond that? Cloud had of course considered it, but to go through with it was something entirely different.

To make love to another man, even his bond-mate...the very concept went against everything Cloud had been taught. While he was more open and understanding of his preferences, lately, he knew he could never look at other men in the same way he looked at Sephiroth. He knew that he had no eyes for Johnny, Zack, Biggs, or anyone else, no matter how good-looking they may have been. This wasn’t a general attraction reserved for all men; it was only for Sephiroth that he felt this way.

Before Cloud lost his nerve, he forced himself to follow through with his burgeoning feelings.

“I’m going to lie down…want to join me?” He nearly slapped himself and set his own hair on fire. Cheesy wasn’t even remotely close to describing how that was, but Cloud had never invited anyone to his arms and bed before. By all accounts, Sephiroth had even been the first person to help him achieve orgasm. This was going to be infinitely different, and he was already making it out to be too awkward.

The silence, with a hint of exasperation which followed was absolute in both intensity and effect. It played along Cloud’s finely stretched nerves like an electric current, building up static charge until he felt he’d explode from the tension of waiting.

Turning away from Sephiroth, he headed for the door as he muttered, “You’re right, this is stupid. I’m sorry I brought it up.” Nearly touching the doorknob, he’d suddenly been yanked back by a firm hand.

Shaking, Cloud hissed, “My body hurts, let’s just—”

“You are...quite a brilliant tactician,” Sephiroth remarked at last. Gently spinning Cloud so the younger, shorter male was at least facing him, now, their eyes finally met.

“What?” Cloud sputtered, as startled as one could be. This not at all what he expected. He’d been braced for his quiet bond-mate to abruptly burst into a whirlwind of fury, especially since Sephiroth wasn’t known for his jokes. Why wasn’t he offended, though?

“I’m not opposed to giving you a massage,” Sephiroth informed him, which caused Cloud to start blushing as he pictured it happening at once.

Charmingly flustered, Cloud shrugged and hesitantly asked, “You wouldn’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t offer, otherwise.” Gently guiding him back onto the bed in the center of the room, Sephiroth produced a jar of oil from a small closet shelf hanging next to a large dresser. Then, to Cloud’s amazement, he completely rolled off his gloves. They neatly came away from his hands, and as they did, Cloud forced and begged himself not to blink. This was the first time ever he’d seen Sephiroth without his dark gloves.

Sputtering in awe, Cloud discovered that Sephiroth had lovely, white hands. The nails looked healthy; a fine, shiny sheen of white and a glorious pink hue. His skin looked as soft and smooth as his cheeks, and Cloud was mesmerized. Transfixed for the longest time on the older male’s hands while Sephiroth pushed his hair back so it wouldn’t become a hindrance and get in the way, Cloud had to consider one sad, despicable thing.

He was only so surprised by his own imagination running wild and blackness of mind due to being so embittered when it came to Sephiroth. He’d hated the silver-haired male for so long that he’d considered him less than human. As was natural for all enemies. It was always easier to slaughter and snatch a life away if you dehumanized the opponent. But Sephiroth _was_ very much human, and he was composed of flesh and blood.

Dabbing and slathering his hands well into a generous amount of oil, Sephiroth purred down at Cloud, “Shall I begin?”

Assuming the best position, Cloud rolled over onto his stomach and chest. For a moment, he simply inhaled and exhaled, wondering whether he had to remove his top, at least. Cloud found that although he preferred keeping it on, there was no way Sephiroth would be happy with sliding his hands up his clothes. Shrugging it off just in case the older male would ask, Cloud beat him to it for the purposes of avoiding further awkwardness. Sephiroth stood at the edge of the bed, looming over until he finally chose to make the first move.

Cloud winced as Sephiroth’s large, yet strangely strong hands with their slick burden of oil made contact with his shoulders. Even the light stroke of skin over skin was hurtful to his abused muscles. Cloud couldn’t recall ever being this sensitive to touch before, but, then, he’d never experienced what felt like a current of raw electricity run through his body, either.

That first touch was nothing compared to the agony that ensued when Sephiroth’s kneading fingers actually applied light pressure to the aching flesh. The helpless groan Cloud released then was unmistakably one of pure agony.

“Do you want me to stop?” the older male questioned in a strained whisper, his hands freezing in place.

Cloud considered telling him to halt, but although the actual massage hurt like hell, the muscles that Sephiroth had worked on did feel a lot better already. “No...it’s okay,” he grated out. “Just...go slow.”

The pressure let up infinitesimally as Sephiroth recommenced the rub down. Wracked with discomfort, Cloud was convinced that the cure was as painful as the torture that had initiated the condition. Still, as soon as those purveyors of agony moved on, each tender area did feel better.

Over the years, Cloud had many a massage, but few were as meticulous as the one his bond-mate was giving him. Sephiroth approached each area with a feather light touch, gradually increasing pressure until he was kneading Cloud’s sore muscles like pizza dough. At the height of pressure, the experience was excruciating, the pain almost transcendental. However, the subsequent relief was equally intense.

The thorough angel with the single wing didn’t miss a spot over Cloud’s body. Starting with his muscled shoulders, Sephiroth moved up Cloud’s neck, then down each arm, including hands and fingers. The careful touches the older male provided left Cloud’s skin slick, pink, and sweet scented wherever he moved.

His spine was dismantled vertebra by vertebra. The lower back and kidney areas received careful attention, Sephiroth exerting only the lightest pressure on the bruises one of the larger rocks or perhaps branches lying in the grass had left when they’d rolled down the hill in the middle of their skirmish.

Cloud was stunned when his modest partner attacked his buttocks without pause. Firmly, once he’d pushed down Cloud’s dark pants past his hips, Sephiroth kneaded the toned, thick muscled globes with the same sure touch he applied to shoulder and biceps.

As more and more of his body succumbed to Sephiroth’s talented tactile persuasion, a contented lull began to seep through Cloud as he once again experienced the euphoria of physical wellbeing. This was true serenity. Sephiroth’s magic was such that even when the tireless ex-SOLDIER took on the throbbing misery that were Cloud’s thighs, that sense of wellbeing didn’t entirely desert him.

Always a good judge of the passage of time, Cloud estimated that a full hour or more had gone by before Sephiroth finished with his last little toe. Mortification grew once he realized that he had only his underwear on. Cloud also discovered that he wasn’t particularly fond of someone touching his feet, but he didn’t want to be too rude just yet.

Breathing deeply and evenly, practically floating on the sensual web Sephiroth had woven for him, it was with great reluctance that Cloud muttered, “Thank you. That was kinda weird, and a bit uncomfortable, but not too bad.” Face beet red, he softly offered, “Want me to return the favor? Feels weird if I’m the only one receiving.”

Sephiroth only offered him a mildly concupiscent smirk. “Somehow, Cloud, I imagine you’re more of a receiver, but I’m willing to take you up on your offer, perhaps another time.”

Before Cloud had the opportunity to question what that all exactly meant, Sephiroth pressed him back down onto the bed, though this time, with his back down against the soft sheets and mattress. Now, he was pinned down in all the right ways he’d fantasized about, and the adolescent nearly boiled over in lust.

Cloud allowed his eyes to sink shut as Sephiroth began to work on his shoulders and neck again, but from the front this time. As the youth had surmised, the areas where the sharp rocks and gravel had been attached were terribly sensitive to touch. Mindful of that, Sephiroth steered clear of those smarting, livid marks. Dousing the contact points with the slick baby oil, the silver-haired male concentrated on the surrounding flesh, moving with inordinate care in his work.

Cloud didn’t even want to compare how Sephiroth had handled him, and how Madam M had massaged him. The woman was a total brute compared to the One Winged Angel, who was treating Cloud as though he would shatter like rare, fine china. They should’ve explored this much, _much_ earlier.

 _‘He’s so delicate,’_ Cloud mused to himself. _‘He’s treating a massage just like fighting; it’s perfect.’_ Wondering how Sephiroth was liking this, Cloud’s weary eyes cracked open, watching the familiar features of his bond-mate through pleasure slitted lids as Sephiroth worked. Cloud was surprised by the empathetic winces his senior ex-warrior gave as he tackled the sore spots. It was almost as if his bond-mate could feel Cloud’s pain through his fingertips.

As with the back muscles, the massage was hard going at first. The pain was unreal, eclipsing almost everything Cloud could recall enduring at enemy hands. Yet, eventually, Sephiroth’s fingers worked their magic on those areas, too. Once Sephiroth left behind the red marked areas where the rocks and sharp branches had done their insidious work, that luscious cocoon of warmth and wellbeing settled around Cloud again.

Sephiroth’s long fingers took on a lambent quality as they moved to Cloud’s far end. Starting at Cloud’s ankles, the older male carefully worked his way back up. Sephiroth was basically reconnoitering the territory he’d lulled into relaxation from when he’d worked the other side supple, so the discomfort was minimal, there.

Cloud sighed in open pleasure as Sephiroth worked around his smooth knees. Everything about Sephiroth’s touch felt so good, so right...

Amazed that this fantastically repressed man could bring to him such joy, Cloud floated along with the feelings, one corollary of the conflicting sensations churning within himself leading to his imminent bashfulness. He was, in the end, too much of a sensualist to question or refuse such delight. His body was thrumming with sensation, humming like a bronze strung harp as Sephiroth’s fingers played his nervous system.

Lost in the symphony of physical nirvana, it was some time before Cloud became aware of trouble, coming as it did in such an enjoyable guise.

Feeling good wasn’t a regular way of life for Cloud Strife. His off-duty time was spent almost entirely in pursuit of his training, improving his skills so that he could decimate all his enemies, and avoiding nightmares and unpleasant memories. His body wasn’t at all accustomed to responding in a certain manner to physical stimuli. As such, Sephiroth’s sensual massage was nothing, if not stimulating. Cloud’s jaded nervous system gloried in the tactile attention. When the pleasures reached a certain threshold, his body responded as it had a few times before–with a pulsing, hungry erection.

Mortified, Cloud shifted to the right side of his body. He found a small pillow lying close, but before he could make a mad dive for it, Sephiroth hummed and then orated in a mildly amused tone, “You don’t have much body hair, Cloud…how old are you, again?”

Abhorrent anger rushing forth, Cloud abruptly turned away, grabbing the pillow as he held it over his lap firmly. “Shut up, Sephiroth!” he snapped irritably as he inched off the edge of the bed. Now, he wanted to distract himself from his own aching flesh rising and growing between his legs, but he also wished he could somehow make Sephiroth feel as embarrassed as he himself felt.

Suddenly, a bit of a wicked idea struck Cloud. There _was_ a way he could reduce Sephiroth to a panting, gasping, sweaty mess, after all.


	27. Sinful Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING! GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT*

Cloud was no longer totally distracted by the smooth glide of caressing hands. Clear thinking had arrived, naturally, and the first thing Cloud wanted to chase after was ultion. Glaring up and down at Sephiroth in all his glory and pompous, smug attitude, Cloud felt his own rage spiking. He could practically see it and smell it rising acidly all over out of his ears like steam.

For some reason, Sephiroth wasn’t overly miffed or disturbed in the slightest. He stood looking regal and prim, oil slicked hands glistening. The warped smile on his handsome features began getting on Cloud’s nerves and pissed him off to no extent.

Internally, however, Cloud mused almost fiendishly, _‘He won’t be laughing and smiling for long…’_

Trying not to get too carried away lest he wanted to cantillate and give away his plans, the recalcitrant youth began plotting away. Subtlety and delicacy were all that he needed in order to do things to Sephiroth. With a wry grin, Cloud inched close to Sephiroth, eyes gleaming with a hint of his inner malice.

Pausing in his own fond amusement, Sephiroth drawled blearily, “What is it, now? What do you have going through that silly head of yours?”

Lips uvid due to wetting them semi-intentionally, Cloud purred in glee, “I’d like to pay you back for that massage, Sephiroth…” Voice trailing and senses tingling, Cloud lowered his head and peeked down at Sephiroth’s legs, and then focused his vision and made his utinam as obvious as he could.

“I was wondering if we could get rid of these?” Cloud finished as he gave the elastic band of Sephiroth’s suspenders and uniform a sharp tug.

Pausing, Sephiroth remained silent for quite some time. Rather than feeling frightened or offended by it, however, Cloud hung back, the coy grin never leaving his face. He was so hungry and starved for the slightest bit of perplexity and concern to rise out of Sephiroth, but it was a slow process. Sephiroth was too careful not to send out too many signals and messages, but to Cloud, that made things all the more interesting. The chase would be worth it, in this case.

Inclining his head towards Cloud, Sephiroth wondered sharply, “I see…and are you certain you want to go through with this?” Laughing, he concluded poignantly, “Most men wouldn’t enjoy being stopped midway through the act, you know, so choose wisely, please.”

Cloud playfully shrugged. He didn’t want to tell Sephiroth that he wasn’t completely sure. While he knew what to do, logically and theoretically, he hadn’t ever done something like this before. Though not a shirking violet by any means when it came to knowledge about wanton acts and desires, there still remained a vast world of practices Cloud had yet to seriously experience. All he had was knowledge based on hearing other people’s experiences, and while that painted some sort of image, he still had no idea what to do.

Late at night back when he was under training at the Shinra Electric Power Company, he’d heard the older boys whisper back and forth about what sexual encounters they’d accrued. Cloud had always been curious to hear of the situations his friends and comrades were lucky to sample and taste, though truthfully, he’d always been leaning more on the side of covetous. Certain things never stuck out to him and made as big of an impression on his mind than the first time he’d heard about a young brunette named Xavier who’d received quite the amazing blow job from his girlfriend right before he’d been recruited.

The term to his own inexperienced, naive ears at the time sounded quite horrifying. Cloud recalled hanging on the edge of his bed as he listened to Xavier regaling his prurient moment. The younger SOLDIER went through motions of shock, awe, jealousy, and then severe arousal. Placing himself right then and there with Xavier, Cloud had to make sure everyone else was sound asleep before he snuck off to the bathroom to relieve himself. That had been one of the most interesting things he’d heard, but it also left him feeling so curious to want to try it.

There never was time...but now, an opportunity had fallen into his lap, and Cloud wanted for Sephiroth to be the one writhing and moaning in sheer tension before he erupted in blinding hot release that was candescent and potent. He’d already seen some traces and semblances of the One Winged Angel nearly losing his composed and elegant style, and he wanted to see it again.

But how?! Compared to hearing the tales of someone receiving the pleasure, Cloud almost had to fear for the poor girl who would be providing the oral ministrations. It sounded...scary, hideous, messy, and crucially too much to handle at once. How would it even fit in his mouth?!? From what he’d already felt through Sephiroth’s clothes, the older male was far more endowed than Cloud himself happened to be.

Bitter and jealous as he was about that discovery, Cloud supposed that Sephiroth’s long sword and long hair could’ve only foreshadowed the fact that he possessed other things quite large and long...

As Cloud stood there blushing, Sephiroth sighed in exhaustion. “I don’t enjoy waiting, but I also won’t push you if you—”

Stepping as close to his bond-mate as he could, the shorter male quickly protested, “No, I c-can do i-it...I just need a sec.” Glancing down at Sephiroth’s clothes again, Cloud repeated in what he hoped was a seductive purr, “Can we take those off, first?”

“Mmmm...that would be a...logical progression.”

The smile Sephiroth gave him was blindingly sweet, bright enough to burn away any of Cloud’s lingering hesitation. The older male wasn’t going to push or demand too much, from the looks of it, which Cloud greatly appreciated.

Still, as young and as curious as he was, he soon couldn’t help but wonder whether Sephiroth had experienced this before.

Hoping that wasn’t the case, a mildly jealous Cloud gently pressed down on the pauldrons of Sephiroth’s melanic uniform. One by one, piece by piece, it came off enough so that the suspenders hanging and lacing around his nude chest were undone. The flaps of Sephiroth’s long trench coat were open before his eyes, now, and Cloud had to stop to admire Sephiroth’s toned chest and perfect abs. Not an ounce of fat could be found on this man.

Sephiroth snorted, though not in a rude or harsh way. “You can admire me all you like, Cloud. No need to hold back; we have plenty of time.” Boots remained on, as did his pants, but Sephiroth had paved the majority of the way for Cloud.

Not needing an official invitation, Cloud tugged his companion’s sleek pants down, trying to curb his own urgency lest he sought to frighten his bond-mate with his ardor.

As Sephiroth unzipped himself from his confines and moved to stand before a dark chair, Cloud found that he needn’t have worried so. One long arm covered the area Cloud was so keen on finally laying eyes on, but Sephiroth had his reasons for teasing his bond-mate. Pushing his long, smooth, perfect hair over his shoulders, he puffed out his broad chest, widened his stance, and smiled warmly at Cloud.

“Come here.”

Without any other forms of encouragement, Cloud headed over. As he got closer and closer to the object of his deepest and most wanton desires, Cloud was nearly deafened by the sounds of his own beating and racing heart, as well as his blood pumping and surging in his veins.

This was equally terrifying, but also so exhilarating.

Only when the youth stopped directly before himself did Sephiroth slide his hand away from his crotch. Cloud had to work to swallow and suppress the gasp that threatened to flee from his lips. Sephiroth was now exposed right there before him, and this was happening _now._ Here he was standing right before his once most despised enemy, with Sephiroth’s manhood exposed so shamelessly. Drawing himself out of his own dark underwear, Sephiroth showed Cloud how his rosy shaft bobbed hungrily up at him once it was freed from its restrictions, confirming their mutual need.

The sight of that blood-rich flesh gave Cloud pause, hammering home the uniqueness of this encounter, as well as the utter masculinity of his partner. This wasn’t really his first time looking at a man naked, but it was indeed his first time looking at a man naked and desiring him. Cloud wanted to get lost in kissing and stroking, even sucking those flat nipples. Sephiroth’s body was flawless and a gift from the gods at this point. The highly aroused youth knew however that the familiarity of the knowledge of those actions had made it possible for himself to overlook the differences in his bond-mate’s body from the smaller, more delicate forms of Aerith and Tifa he’d admired and been fascinated by.

This wasn’t a woman, though; this was a powerful _male,_ this was someone who had the same physiology and anatomy he did, who had the same needs he had, and who was infinitely as desirable as any female Cloud had gazed at.

Still, there was fear and trepidation. Cloud had never had an erection aimed at himself before. It took some getting used to, especially when he knew that this erection would soon work its way into his mouth, lingering past his tongue, almost hitting his throat…not wanting to lose due to his fears, Cloud instead chose to look at Sephiroth again.

From an aesthetic point of view, Sephiroth was damn pleasing. Well-endowed for a man of his taller stature, his thick penis was a succulent, cherry red, the heavy balls below a bud pink, almost the same color as his nipples. The thin patch of curls at the base of the organ was nearly a platinum blond color, matching the color of his eyebrows and hair. The snow-white skin of Sephiroth’s pale thighs and firm belly were a stark contrast to the detailed genitals, but it was all enough to make Cloud’s mouth water all the same.

“Cloud? Is everything...alright?”

Hearing the vacillation in that hesitant whisper, he was reminded once again that Sephiroth couldn’t see his uncertainty like a shadow or some vibrant color. It was likely that he didn’t know what was going on. There wasn’t much room for wavering, but Cloud appreciated that Sephiroth gave him plenty of time to go through the emotions naturally.

Softly, Sephiroth reached out with his left hand to give Cloud’s inflamed cheek a reassuring stroke. “You look like you’re going to faint,” he pointed out when Cloud grew as white as a ghost.

Shaking off his baseless childhood fears, Cloud swiftly muttered, “Sorry. You surprised me; that’s all.” He murmured something else under his own breath, but when Sephiroth took a step closer, his words disappeared into the frigid air.

“Hmm, do I surprise you, or do I instill fear within you?” Sephiroth inquired, sounding downright curious in the middle of Cloud’s cataclasm of confidence.

Trying not to stare at Sephiroth’s cock, Cloud coughed, “Oh, I’m not scared, I just...didn’t expect you to be so beautiful…” Cringing at his own words, he quickly pushed out, “I mean, maybe I just didn’t expect to think of you that way?”

Smirking a lopsided grin, Sephiroth relaxed before asking almost coyly, “You think I’m beautiful?”

He most certainly did, but Cloud hadn’t meant to say that. This wasn’t a girl he could throw gifts and certain pleasant words at! What had he been thinking? Sephiroth would likely laugh at him, turn him away, and—

“I think you’re exquisite, Cloud,” Sephiroth swiftly commented, and it rendered Cloud speechless for some time.

Not wanting to stand there gaping like a kid, he threw back speedily, “I think the same about you!” When Sephiroth paused, Cloud winced as he replayed what he’d just blurted out so impetuously.

_‘Yikes…that sounded…so needy, like I’m eager to please and gain his approval…if it were me, I’d run away!’_

Though internally, he felt he’d disappointed himself, Cloud once again caved into his impulsivity as he pushed out in a garbled mess, “Really! I honestly think you’re amazing!”

“I know you do,” Sephiroth purred hungrily, arms gently coming up to wrap about Cloud. “I can sense and see it.”

As Cloud began loving the delighted rumble of a purr that Sephiroth rewarded him with, he knew he wanted to still take some sort of ‘revenge’ on the older male. Inhaling deeply, he began gathering his courage. Nudging Sephiroth back, Cloud took the final step and reached out to touch his bond-mate’s thick arousal. The moment he had, both men gasped and then let out deep groans, far too licentious to be heard elsewhere except for the privacy of their own company.

Gaia, it was _so_ damn hot. This was his first time touching anyone like this, and already, Cloud felt it had been the most natural thing in the world to do. The feel of that moist, hard flesh was reassuringly similar to his own. He gathered his prize into his palm, relishing the steel-hard feel of Sephiroth. As he experimentally gave his older bond-mate a tiny squeeze, Cloud watched as Sephiroth’s eyes lazily almost shut.

_‘Holy shit...I’m the only one in all of Gaia who gets to see him when he’s like this...this is all because of me!’_

Sephiroth was beginning to respond nicely to the minor touches. Thickening and hardening with every touch and tap, Cloud could tell he was ready, so excited...and all from his own actions, Cloud proudly realized.

As Sephiroth’s cock slowly thickened, Cloud tightened his grip. Delectably, the shaft jerked in reaction, growing even larger and fuller. Clearly, Sephiroth needed more room. Intently gazing at Cloud, he lowered himself to sit on the chair, and Cloud nearly crashed to his knees in a clumsy daze after him.

“Ah, Cloud, it seems you’ll never stop chasing me, after all,” the older male sighed in open delight.

Overwhelmed by his own heated arousal pooling and rising between his thighs, Cloud thought that Sephiroth was even more beautiful than before in this moment. This was the _perfect_ reaction he’d wanted from his bond-mate, and all he’d done was touch him, Cloud marveled.

Encouraged by everything he’d seen, Cloud rested on both bent knees between Sephiroth’s open legs. Very nervously, he leaned himself over until his nose nearly was pressed against Sephiroth’s zipper. Swallowing down his fear, Cloud looked away from the fabric of the pants, and instead carefully explored the pulsing tower of need, very aware of his own cock rising to a similar state. His free hand slipped lower within Sephiroth’s pants and underwear, charting the pliant, heavy balls. Those were softer than living velvet beneath his wondering fingertips.

Apparently, whatever he’d been doing was the right thing to do. Sephiroth hadn’t ceased gazing at him, but now, his eyes were _definitely_ slitted in lust and raw desire as he panted very softly.

“Cloud...where did you...hmm…” Tilting and leaning his head back, Sephiroth raked his eyes skyward while Cloud continued exploring his way down the toned legs and the firm flesh. He couldn’t stop touching, and now that he had a strong taste for it, he wanted more. This was too addictive, already.

“Cloud…”

Hearing the raw need in that husky voice, Cloud pumped the cock he held, knowing what his bond-mate needed, working the balls below with the skill of long practice, namely on himself.

A sheen of sweat broke out on his panting bond-mate’s skin, but Sephiroth’s vocalizations never became less coherent, nor were they more frantic.

 _‘Shit, I think I need to keep going,’_ Cloud planned out mentally while he really focused on his task.

Seeing two beads of shiny pre-seminal fluid seeping out of the gleaming opening of the circumcised cock, Cloud used his thumb to carefully spread the wetness all over the slit. Being circumcised himself, it was a very odd experience, but he felt happy enough that Sephiroth had his ‘equipment’ maintained in the same way. Drawn like a bee to honey, Cloud’s head lowered, and his eyes burned when he hadn’t blinked in over a minute.

Was now a good time?

Deciding it was while he had Sephiroth right where he wanted him, Cloud counted backwards from five slowly.

_‘Five...’_

Sephiroth was so desirable and beautiful…

_‘Four…’_

They were here together, safely. No one else would take this away from them.

_‘Three…’_

Maybe this was a moment of change for them both...maybe they could really reach an agreement.

_‘Two…’_

Eyes flicking up to Sephiroth’s face, Cloud knew he wanted to kiss and lick every inch of that long, pale neck, right up to Sephiroth’s forehead after he’d brushed his soft hair back. Sephiroth always smelled radiant and so fresh, too…

_‘One…’_

Curious and ridiculously nervous, before he lost his damn nerve, his tongue poked out to sample the shining drops of Sephiroth’s essence.

The salty flavor sizzled through himself like the first time he’d tasted something brand-new. Between the taste and musky scent, he was truly lost, any inhibitions he might have entertained over this unusual act burned away in a burst of sheer, animal lust. This wasn’t bad at all! Sephiroth was well endowed, of course, but since he’d allowed for Cloud to explore and take his time, the youth had a much easier time not freaking out and doing something crazy that would jeopardize and end this all too soon to make for a negative experience.

Sephiroth didn’t cry out even once, nor did he make any sound signaling he was being tortured as he roughly reached out and grabbed Cloud’s cheeks, pressing him a little closer to his groin. Heart leaping in his chest, Cloud’s eyes widened instinctively, but all he saw was the sight of dark cloth that were Sephiroth’s pants, and a large, fleshy, phallic object.

Leveled now with Sephiroth’s thick cock, Cloud wondered whether Sephiroth was going to do anything to hurt him, but he was yet again stunned.

“Get a bit closer,” Sephiroth instructed, hair falling over his face and obscuring Cloud’s sight. “Don’t be scared; I’m patient, so just take your time, but do stop licking at me like I’m a frozen treat, Cloud.”

Nodding, Cloud was relieved in knowing how carefully he’d been handling his partner. Sephiroth’s firm body had told him that there hadn’t been any pain when he’d accidentally nosed the older male’s hip bone, the only action he thought might have been painful and discomforting enough to cause this response.

Once again, Cloud lowered his head, trying not to look too much in front of himself at what he was doing. It was too damn obscene, and while he still hadn’t grown accustomed to the fact that he’d been the one doing this, he still wanted to push Sephiroth’s limits and boundaries. More than anything, Cloud wanted Sephiroth to crumble and melt away in humiliation.

Instead of licking and lapping away at his bond-mate’s cock, now, Cloud recalled what Xavier had openly stated regarding his girlfriend. Making sure his jaw was slack, and his teeth weren’t in the way, Cloud tried taking Sephiroth in his mouth, but he failed miserably. Saliva dripping, he accidentally moved too closely, and he nearly choked on the thick cock in his mouth. Eyes watering, he coughed for a few moments, but then urged himself to recover. This was already sad enough, and he didn’t want Sephiroth to think he was weaker and inept in the bedroom.

Curiously, when Cloud peeked up at his older bond-mate, he nearly screamed out in shock. Sephiroth was watching him with heavy fixation and fascination. A hand propped beneath his jaw, he leaned his head onto his palm, and he smirked a tad sadistically while Cloud again lapped at the head of his cock. With Cloud’s tongue fumbling and slipping messily about, Sephiroth snorted before he shook his head.

“You’re a receiver, just as I imagined, Cloud.” Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth added with a cold sneer, “So glad to see I was correct, as always.”

Determined to show the arrogant One Winged jerk of an Angel he was wrong, Cloud lightly stroked his fingertips over those athletic inner thighs while sucking on the head of the heavy member in his warm mouth. Sephiroth gave out a tiny growl, his legs parting wide as he thrust his hips into Cloud’s face.

 _‘Finally! A freakin’ reaction! Thought I’d never see the day!’_ With that in mind, grateful that Sephiroth had finally shut up and was at least closing his eyes, Cloud sucked the other man’s pulsing cock deeper and deeper into his mouth.

The more he sucked and tried lapping away as he knew most men liked, the more he found that he himself was becoming aroused. With a cry of shocked, helpless delight hitting himself, Cloud was almost as hard as Sephiroth. Wincing, he tried palming himself, but Sephiroth’s barbed laughter ringing into the air slammed into his eardrums and possessed his anger anew.

Tongue clicking against his teeth, Sephiroth suggested, “Would you prefer to switch roles, Cloud?”

….

The only answer from Cloud was a trenchant, heated scowl, but he found that when he looked at Sephiroth while sucking his dick, he began growing hotter and wetter. Damn his body!! This was too intense! He was soaking up the voracious emotions emanating from Sephiroth, and it was messing with his brain!

Chuckling deeply, Sephiroth stated, “It’s not too late to change your mind. Do you want that?”

Shaking his head firmly, Cloud bashfully looked away. He was already melting far too quickly, and he didn’t want to give Sephiroth the satisfaction that he’d win this, too.

Eyeing him incredulously, Sephiroth purred, “Then what in your right mind do you want me to do?”

Their eyes finally met, and Cloud channeled into his bond-mate’s head aggressively, _‘Damn you, Sephiroth.’_

Hissing a rather soft hiss as his hips thrust into Cloud’s face, Sephiroth exclaimed while gripping the armrest of the chair, “That’s it…that anger and attitude of yours _do_ please me, contrary to what you may feel, Cloud.”

Once he’d grown accustomed to Sephiroth’s salty flavor, Cloud discovered that his mouth and lips somehow easily adjusted faster to the unusual act. He didn’t have to think about it as he ran his tongue over the sensitive crown, tickling and then pushing back on the entire length while his bond-mate’s eyes closed under the delicious assault.

In the middle of it, however, right when Cloud thought he’d been doing a perfect job, Sephiroth huffed, “Don’t forget to use your hand. You started with it, so you should continue.”

Fuming, Cloud raged internally, _‘You damn needy bastard.’_

Knowing how to add to the pleasure before his confidence turned into a moribund speck, Cloud gathered the tender sac below into his hand, loving the precious weight of Sephiroth’s testicles as he kneaded them with growing expertise. With Sephiroth humming and nodding at him, Cloud quickened the pace, stroking Sephiroth’s length as best as he could. The rhythm was off, and it was obvious when Sephiroth chuckled again. Strangely, he didn’t ask Cloud to stop.

Knowing he was a blundering novice when it came to this, Cloud rejoiced when it became obvious that what he was doing after a prolonged period of time was shatteringly effective. Sephiroth wasn’t a stony, rigid, silent mountain. Now, his soft cries were back again, interrupted by harsh, panting breaths.

Gaining courage and a certain amount of confidence, the aroused youth drew more of his bond-mate’s impressive length into his mouth and began sucking in earnest. Sephiroth’s first thrust almost choked him, feeling like a fist trying to ram its way down his esophagus. Pulling back in instinctive reaction, Cloud narrowly avoided scraping his teeth along the sensitive flesh.

“Careful, Cloud,” Sephiroth advised, steeling his jaw and nerves for another try.

 _‘Gaia, this is too hot...why do I like this?!’_ Cloud hissed to himself internally, nearly a swooning mess once he opened his mouth and all too eagerly sucked Sephiroth back in. As he swirled his tongue dizzily around the tip, he cursed himself for becoming aroused by this lewd act. Bluntly put, Cloud never would’ve imagined that sucking another man’s cock could turn him on, but it was…

Feeling as if he were learning the basics all over again, Cloud stumbled into a versative rhythm of sucking that seemed to satisfy his bond-mate. His aching jaw felt like it had been jacked up and braced permanently open. Resisting the impulse to gag on that thrusting flesh took all his conscious effort, and it was no easy feat when Sephiroth kept moving back and forth, in and out, faster and faster.

It wasn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but, in spite of the discomfort, Cloud found the action oddly arousing. Sephiroth had changed, and almost magically right under his very nose. His taste, his helpless cries of pleasure, his reserved ego, complete with utter abandonment was more than the stunned blonde could have dreamed possible.

Unable to withstand it anymore, Cloud slipped his hands beneath his own soaked underwear that clung to his hips to guide himself into an orgasm he desperately needed. Keeping his eyes open on the scene before himself, the increasingly wild thrusts as Sephiroth’s hands tangled painfully in his hair were better than anything his dull imagination had conjured in the past.

Unable to resist, Cloud stroked himself harder and faster, wanting for them both to be able to come together. Knowing that he wanted the One Winged Angel’s silken pleasure to be felt as his own for a long time to come, yet, Cloud was able to continuously chase after his own imminent release. He wanted the right to touch, caress, suck and drive his reserved senior warrior crazy with pleasure. Stunned, he realized that he very much wanted to make Sephiroth his own.

Would that ever become reality?

Tightening his lips around Sephiroth as his own hand tightened around his length, Cloud heard Sephiroth pant out something incoherent.

It didn’t last long after that.

Potently, Cloud could almost feel the energy gathering in his older bond-mate’s body, building towards explosive levels. The serene sights were just too much, and Cloud soon got lost in his own sexual pleasure to notice or hear anything else.

“Cloud, you should...I’m...move!”

His own cock was tingling, and he was coming too hard already over his own hand. With a final, deep stroke that he swore plunged his own sensitive shaft halfway up to his stomach since he was already at his limit, Cloud groaned and growled against Sephiroth’s cock still warmly nestled between his lips. The vibrations were too much. Sephiroth froze, suspended at that peak of experience.

Immediately thereafter, hips twitched, and Cloud felt the hot, pulsing streams of semen bathe the back of his throat. Sephiroth’s orgasm was like nothing he’d experienced for himself. The fluid flooded his throat, seeping back up, bitter and salty as a mouthful of sea water, but thicker, far thicker than any sea Cloud had swum in. Thicker and far more addictive.

Instinct made him want to spit that briny, bitter gift back out, but something stronger and less tangible made Cloud swallow it down...not exactly an easy task with Sephiroth still lodged in his mouth. But he managed it, somehow, all without falling back, as stunned as he was.

Overwhelmed by the realization of what he’d just done, unable to credit how much the entire experience had excited himself, Cloud continued to suck on his spent bond-mate until Sephiroth was empty. Running his fingers through Cloud’s hair in silent gratitude, Sephiroth hummed in deep satisfaction as his shaft softened and became flaccid in his partner’s mouth. Only then did Cloud release his prize.

Inching back while he wiped his lips, Cloud swallowed whatever remnants of Sephiroth’s essence he could. Understanding that he looked as stupid as he felt, he was mortified enough to want to dash out of the room. Abruptly, he stood, swaying momentarily like a drunkard, but Sephiroth was quicker, and he wrapped him up in his arms. Cloud stumbled back, landing almost with his ass directly over Sephiroth’s crotch. He had to wonder if this had been intentionally done, though.

Burying his face in the youth’s messy, sweaty hair, it appeared he was scenting Cloud deeply before his arms wove tightly about Cloud’s thin waist. Ashamed of what he’d done and whom he’d done it all with, Cloud tried hiding his face in the palms of both hands. Sephiroth remained opposed to it. Gently, he pried the smaller male’s hands away from his heated face.

“Don’t hide whatever you feel, Cloud,” the silver-haired male unabashedly and soothingly drawled far too closely and hotly in his junior’s ear. “What’s yours is now mine, and I want to experience it all first-hand. Don’t conceal anything.”

Mortified no matter what his older companion calmly stated, it was of no use. Cloud needed time to get over everything that had just happened, and it wasn’t going to be a matter of spending time around Sephiroth. He needed and wanted to be alone away from the potent grip the constant stream of oblectation brought for himself.

Sensing just that, his composed bond-mate sighed, slowly releasing his clutch on Cloud. Though he allowed for the youth to flit away from himself, Sephiroth draped his hands in his lap, fingers eventually working to tuck himself back into his underwear and pants. Not even a small drop of sweat had formed on his face, and Cloud remained angrily cursing Sephiroth for winning this round, too. No matter what, the cautelous older male had to always be perfect, didn’t he?

Randomly, as he knew he had nothing great to offer at this time, Cloud blandly muttered while trying to fix his hair, “I’m gonna go clean up.” Eyeing the shower again, as it called out to him, Sephiroth stood tall behind his discontented bond-mate.

Though he made no sudden moves to touch his infuriated partner, Sephiroth’s slender hands dug into a small drawer of a night table close to the edge of the bed. Fishing something out of it in no time, he held it to the side of his own form, creeping over to Cloud while he had the younger man’s undivided attention.

Trying to peek at what the object was, Cloud irritably found that Sephiroth was quite insistent that he keep the object away from Cloud’s view. The obvious obduracy benefited Sephiroth more so than Cloud. The shorter male hung back as he glared resolutely at his senior, but he reminded himself to keep as quiet as possible. The last thing he wanted was for his mouth to land him in trouble and discourage Sephiroth from being forthcoming.

Eyebrows furrowing in vexation far too obvious for his own good, he obnixely gazed at Sephiroth before he strenuously griped, “I don’t need you to make fun of me, now. I’m already embarrassed enough.”

Looking rather stunned, Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow at this. “Hmm? Why would I take to mocking you?”

Almost ruefully, Cloud answered, “Because of…the stuff we just did.”

Gaia, did he have to spell it out?! For all he knew, Sephiroth likely had received better and more experienced pleasure, and he hated that his own ineptitude and awkwardness set him aside from providing real expertise in a sexual sense.

Not at all put off by this, Sephiroth only shook his head as he sighed softly, “Cloud, I found something that was in your room.” Eyes obnubilating with some fondness, he held out a small bag in his open palm. Offering it to Cloud, he cooed, “This is yours, I presume?”

Jaw immediately falling open, Cloud rasped, “Hey! Th-that’s—” Frozen in his reactions, he blinked hard, shook his head, and then rubbed his eyes. The bag was still there as it’d always been, and the shiny, gleaming marbles sat together. His own reflection was perfectly clear within their luminous orbs, and Cloud saw himself smiling slowly.

Returning the gesture, Sephiroth commented gently, “I fail to understand why you would keep this, but I thought you’d want to have it here at your side.”

Arms and demeanor languescent, Cloud nearly chuckled warmly as he reached out and held the bag of marbles to his chest. Cradling them protectively, he smiled down serenely at them, his mind already hurrying along to work on the best little gift for Sephiroth. He wasn’t too thrilled that Sephiroth had found the marbles, but at least the secret of his tiny gift was still his own.

Timorously, he flushed as he asked his older companion, “May I hold onto these for a bit and take some time to myself?”

With a firm nod, Sephiroth drawled, “You may. We’ll converse later, Cloud.” Pausing, he pondered it before he randomly intoned, “I’ll seek you out in a few hours, if that’s alright.”

Cloud only hoped the gift would be ready by then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀 We're safe in the comment section. Don't worry.


	28. Fragile Worship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING! GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT!!*  
> (I know that's what we're all here for, but I must do the right thing and put this warning here, anyway -_- )

Cloud spent one full day working on Sephiroth’s gift. The One Winged Angel never questioned what his junior partner was up to, which Cloud immensely appreciated. Still, to be on the side of caution, the youth worked steadfastly with his door locked and tightly shut. What he was trying to complete required precision, skill, and intense focus.

He’d gathered a medium length of the silver strand of rope to hang the beads on, and he delicately wove it together so it would be wide enough. Once it proved it could support the weight of the marbles, Cloud arranged them in the best pattern he thought would be beautiful.

The marbles all glowed and reflected with some sort of strange essence, he found. Perhaps it was a rainbow, but when the light bore down on them, the unique patterns and colors began revealing themselves. More prominent, now in the glow of the evening light, Cloud arranged them from a clockwise pattern, the darker colors arranged first, and the brighter ones coming in last. It’d all been arranged that way on purpose; he wanted Sephiroth to remember how he himself had woven his way from darkness to light, and as such, it was significant on their relationship having improved from negative to more positive.

Sephiroth would appreciate this…he just had to!

Finally, when it was all ready, Cloud placed the bracelet on his own wrist to sample the end product. It was such a unique, gorgeous bracelet, too. On his smaller wrist, it appeared larger than normal, but he knew that for Sephiroth, it would be just the perfect fit. Mentally, he congratulated himself for his efforts, and without further hesitation, he flew out of his room and away from the lapideous silence and self-isolation he’d sequestered himself to. The first thing he had to do now was to find Sephiroth.

Bracing himself for how his bond-mate would react upon receiving the gift, Cloud luckily didn’t have to search for long. Sephiroth was gracefully waiting in a bright ballroom. The elegant, tall man was standing before a large window looking out into the gardens and ponds surrounding the mansion. His sharp Masamune was propped over the surface of a large table bearing a bowl of fruit and dried leaves, but judging by his stance, he’d been merely gazing around and contemplating.

Approaching him carefully, listlessness took its hold over Cloud’s mind, effectively numbing him. Shaking, a horde of shapeless emotions seized him before even allowing his lungs to operate. Inhaling deeply, his palms felt cold and clammy, his fingers and toes turned rigid and stiff, and he began sweating profusely.

This was anxiety unlike any he’d ever experienced, and he had no idea why or how it was even happening to himself. All he knew was that he’d been so grateful to see the beads again since Sephiroth presented them to him. He’d been forgetful in the past, but now that he had his gift, the material object would no doubt serve as the basic symbol for their bond.

Clearing his throat softly to announce his presence rather than trapeze in the room rudely, Cloud then inertly knocked on the door frame with a small rap of his knuckles.

“Sephiroth?”

The wind blew past the open windows, and the older man’s long hair flew along with its potency. Any bit of sunlight made Sephiroth appear to be radiantly glowing. His form was perfect in every sense of the word. His well-defined and sharply chiseled features made him even more handsome and delectable in Cloud’s eyes. His nose was perfect, his cheekbones weren’t too prominent, and his cheeks weren’t overly sunken in. Pale eyebrows which had the slightest arch to them were seen in the crystal-clear, diaphanous windows. The shape of his face was perfect; his eye color was magnificent, his hair framed his oval features neatly, to boot, and he was here in the flesh with Cloud.

Looking as regal as an almighty King, Sephiroth slowly spun around, clasping his gloved hands behind his back. Standing tall and proud, he smiled warmly at Cloud to greet him. They stood merely gazing at each other in silence for a moment, and the world seemed to slow down for their sake.

“Hello, Cloud.”

As always, Sephiroth’s voice did magical things to Cloud. Trying not to focus on all visceral memories, especially, Cloud felt himself turning slightly heated and fuzzy due to the sexual nature slowly developing in the relationship. Wondering if Sephiroth had pondered that as well, the timorous young man gently offered the bracelet up before Sephiroth’s inquisitive gaze.

“I…umm…I made this…shit…” Nearly bashing his forehead into a wall, Cloud cleared his throat before losing himself to a round of coughing fits. This wasn’t at all the way this was supposed to go! Damn it!

Mortified by his own repugnant foolishness and failure to cling to equanimity, Cloud tried to broach the topic again, but Sephiroth recovered with a small laugh. Though it wasn’t too cruel and demeaning, he let it go on that way before he held his hands at his sides.

Peeking at the bracelet openly sitting in Cloud’s palm, he softly pointed out, “I don’t think that item right there classifies as ‘shit’, Cloud.”

Ignoring how Cloud’s jaw nearly hit his knees and how sharply he’d gasped, Sephiroth continued. “You made that, then?” Quizzically, Sephiroth cooed, “I don’t think anyone’s ever given me something like this before…”

Although his throat was parched and his tongue felt swollen in his mouth, Cloud rasped semi-desperately and on edge, “Do you…umm…d-do you l-like it?”

Grasping the bracelet, finally, Sephiroth held it up before his bright eyes. Smile wider than ever, so much that it consumed his whole face, he let out a most pleasant sigh. “I do, though you shouldn’t worry about lacking the ability to please me, Cloud.”

Bashful to the limit, Cloud inched closer to the object of his affections. Bowing his head so Sephiroth wouldn’t see how deeply his blush ran, he offered in awe, “C-can I put it on your wrist?”

Holding his arm out, Sephiroth seemed more than amicable for that opportunity. Too many things pounded into Cloud’s head at once. While he still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he’d pleased Sephiroth orally not that long ago, and while he still had yet to get over the idea that Sephiroth had indeed said the word ‘shit’, right at this moment, he was scrambling to get his nerves together so he could place the bracelet about Sephiroth’s wrist and tie it there.

Pausing as he held it wide, he looked up at the older male and asked shyly, “Which arm did you want it to be on?”

Without hesitation, Sephiroth declared, “The right hand.”

Frowning in mild confusion, Cloud obediently placed it over the right wrist. As he began tying the knot while admiring how wonderfully the marbles were gleaming, he couldn’t help but scowl as his heart grew heavy.

Noticing his perplexed state, Sephiroth threw him a frivolous grin. “Something the matter?” Shifting his arm up higher against Cloud, he added factually, “You’re uptight.”

Not wanting to lie and waste time, Cloud moodily hissed, “Why the right arm?” Gesturing at the Masamune, he declaimed, “You’re left-handed, Sephiroth. In all the times you’ve fought, I’ve seen you only using your left hand.”

Catching on like a fish drawn to a hook, Sephiroth grinned triumphantly. “Ahh, I understand now, Cloud.” Eyes meeting a few round marbles dangling from his wrist in the air, he stated with a whimsical sigh, “You wish for me to keep your most precious gift close to the same hand I use for battle?”

His voice…it was low, deep, but with a definite resonance that ensorcelled Cloud severely. Before he got lost in the way Sephiroth was speaking to him, Cloud sheepishly nodded. Faintly, he hoped he wasn’t being foolish in this demand, but he really wanted for Sephiroth to raise his left hand and see the bracelet first and foremost. Its marbles and bright sheen would coruscate beyond anything else, and hopefully, when Sephiroth looked at it, he would remember Cloud…

Swallowing nervous gulps of air, Cloud nodded again as he elucidated clearly, “I just thought that was the best place for it. I’d like for it to be there.”

Staring briefly at his left hand, Sephiroth’s smile subsided as he tipped his head to one side. Expression stoic for a moment, he then shifted as close to Cloud as possible before he fully wrapped and tied the mesmerizing bracelet around his right hand, much to Cloud’s heavy disappointment.

Coolly, Sephiroth regarded him with a tiny smirk. “I’m afraid I won’t be placing that around the left hand, Cloud, but with good reason.” When he knew Cloud was listening, even though he never made eye contact, the older, more patient warrior spoke on.

Eloquently, he orated with mellisonant words, “If this is a symbol of your true feelings, then it would make little sense for such a priceless item to be on the same hand that has dealt so much harm and spilled so much blood in the world.” Eyes zeroing in on the bracelet before homing in on his left wrist, Sephiroth concluded, “I don’t wish to sully your gift.”

The realizations and facts bit at Cloud like small insects, stinging away at his heart slowly. He understood very well, now, and he cursed his impatience and youthful ignorance. As much as he thought he’d never admit to this, Sephiroth had quite an astute point. How endearing and thoughtful it was to have someone else cherish him in such a way.

Turning redder than a fresh apple, Cloud droned under his breath, “Damn…never thought of it that way.” Innocently, almost, he whispered when their eyes met, “Do I _really_ mean that much to you, Sephiroth?” He thought he would surely collapse if he heard the answer, but he wanted to hear it all the same, anyway.

Flicking the hand bearing the beautifully crafted bracelet up, using the same hand, Sephiroth gently ran a few long fingers through Cloud’s hair. As he gently pet the youth, he nodded and a complacent smile carved its way onto his face.

“You do, otherwise, I wouldn’t care much to want to shield away and protect this gift of yours in order to preserve its innocence and purity, you know.”

Butterflies swam and fluttered deeply in Cloud’s belly, and the only thing he knew how to do whenever he was feeling so overwhelmed with strong emotions was to bury his embarrassment and the epitome of his grief down below his subconsciousness. Mortified as he was, he reminded himself not to overthink too many things and respect his own emotions demarcated by a stark grasp on his purpose in relation to Sephiroth’s temperative ones.

And just _who_ was Sephiroth to him? A friend? A lover? The older brother Cloud never had? A comrade in battle? His equal? None of it unfortunately applied to Sephiroth as Cloud knew of his existence prior to the memory he’d stumbled upon of a younger Sephiroth battling with his friends. The narrative painted and presented there was something Cloud fondly thought of often and sought to preserve. Nothing else would be acceptable, otherwise, and he found he enjoyed thinking of Sephiroth that way.

Did Sephiroth also recall those incidents and think about them?

Wondering so, Cloud didn’t even realize that he’d unconsciously closed the scant gap between their bodies, laying his arms over Sephiroth’s semi-bare chest, and his head gently on the older male’s clavicle. He’d wanted to kiss and touch it, when Sephiroth gently pushed him away. He thought he’d been dreaming, at first, especially since it’d happened so randomly and wasn’t something he found to be pleasant and wonderful, but it’d occurred. The space had grown between them, and Sephiroth frowned at him like he’d done something horrible.

“Look,” Sephiroth straightened his shoulders, firming his stance, “it’s late. I suggest we put this entire night behind us and forget it ever happened.” With Cloud sputtering and gaping in heavy confusion, Sephiroth gently held onto the stringy parts of the bracelet as it dangled from his wrist. “I will cherish this, thank you, but we should—”

“What the hell did I do, now?!” Cutting right through the loftiness and politeness, Cloud abandoned his propriety and barked again at Sephiroth with bite and venom in his words and tone. “What the hell is your problem? All I did was—”

And just what _had_ been going on? The last time Cloud remembered, Sephiroth was his despised enemy, and yet he’d been hugging and embracing him as though they were two friends reconnecting. Was that why Sephiroth was upset?

Testing and trying that, Cloud whispered apologetically, “If I got too close or—”

Again, he was rudely interrupted. “You’ve made your position clear. We went from an enemy relationship to now having a working partnership, thanks to the bond.” Coldly throwing all those clipped words out, Sephiroth took another step back as he concluded on a moribund note, “There’s nothing else to be said.”

Sephiroth wasn’t known for being a largiloquent individual, and Cloud had accepted this. Soothly, if Sephiroth ever did start speaking as much as Aerith or Tifa normally did, Cloud knew he’d be ill-inclined to accept it as reality. However, now, he needed Sephiroth’s words more than anything else, and he was being denied of them.

Contritely, the younger warrior hissed as he fought to get closer. “We’re more than friends though, Sephiroth!”

Gaia, if _that_ right there wasn’t the apotheosis of a needy-sounding lover, then Cloud would never know what else was. Cringing upon re-listening to his own words, he pushed and fought through the cycles of embarrassment for their own good. Embarrassment had no place, here.

Glaring coldly at him, Sephiroth stated bluntly, “Your body has yielded, yes; I’m not denying any of that.”

“But...” Cloud tried again, feeling as though everything were slipping away from himself. There was a distance between them which had never been there before, and which he realized might never be gone again. If Sephiroth was adamant on this without at least giving him a chance, then why were they even here? What was the point?

Bitterly, Cloud clenched his fists at his sides as he cried out, “I don’t know what you want from me.” Perhaps he never would.

Not so cryptically, Sephiroth elucidated smoothly, like blades gliding and transverberating along an icy surface, “I meant your heart and soul, Cloud.” Pointedly, their eyes met, and Cloud already felt himself going numb from the penetrating gaze Sephiroth bestowed unto him.

Lips pulled back with the ghost of a smirk teasing them, Sephiroth purred, “I’m waiting for your feelings, that is.” After deliberately emphasizing the word ‘feelings’ as heavily as he had, so much that it caused for Cloud to fall into a blush, Sephiroth concluded, “I thought you’d understand that I won’t push you; you’ll have to come willingly.”

Cloud was absolutely stymied as to how and why Sephiroth was drawing such a conclusion. Oddly, Sephiroth was being remarkably indulgent, which wasn’t apropos for his character on a regular basis.

Short of sounding demanding and demeaning, Cloud took to pointing at the bracelet as he crudely asked, “Wasn’t that proof, though?! I wouldn’t go and make that for just anyone!”

“You can’t have this both ways, Cloud. You’ve made it plainly obvious that you don’t want me unless there’s a specific pull and a specific need that requires release.” Curtly, he touched the bracelet, his fingers running along the globes of marbles before he let out a pained grunt. “You can’t expect me to bare my soul to you when you’ve done nothing in the way of reciprocating those feelings. That’s too much to ask, even for you.”

Cloud ground his teeth together, and then reminded himself not to get too angry. It would only drain his body, and it was both noxious and futile. “It’s not that I don’t want you,” Cloud softly corrected, “but I feel like I just won’t dare. There _is_ a difference, here.”

Icily, Sephiroth continued to scowl at him. “I’m not going to argue semantics with you. You’ve made your position clear; I’m abiding by your decision.” Pressing a few fingers onto his forehead and adding pressure as though to work away a painful headache, he whispered through clenched teeth, “I won’t force you in this...I can’t, as I’ve stated before.”

Gut churning, Cloud knew he didn’t want to see Sephiroth this way. The arrogant, emotional manipulator that his foe could often be, under any other circumstance, Sephiroth could walk away from all this in a second. But this quietly suffering man bypassed every one of his protective walls Cloud had worked so hard to set up as a barrier between himself and his once most hated enemy. Expectations hadn’t been met; they’d been exceeded, and they both didn’t seem to have the skill needed to comprehend what to do with the messages and meanings fluctuating between their hearts.

Which was precisely what Sephiroth possibly intended, Cloud told himself. Only...

This _wasn’t_ the Sephiroth he’d known from the past. It just couldn’t be, not when Cloud had found the auspicious opportunity to learn about this other side of his bond-mate. He’d learned of the better part of Sephiroth more than he had with anyone else on the planet. He’d seen Sephiroth connive, scheme, and seduce countless times in the past, but he’d never seen this indefatigable, operose fighter look so beaten. Every instinct Cloud possessed was telling him that this was no scam, no charade, no game.

Finding a piece of courage he didn’t know he owned, Cloud softly requested, “Wait, maybe you could define what _‘this’_ is?” At Sephiroth’s blank expression, he clarified, “You said that you wouldn’t force me in ‘this.’” Holding up a hand, he elucidated carefully, “I’m not talking about the bond, Sephiroth; I’m talking about you, and I don’t want you to proposition me. Just answer and be clear!”

_‘For once in your damn life…’_

Moving away from him, Sephiroth snapped roughly, “This discussion isn’t going to be of benefit.”

Not giving up, Cloud pressed on. “I dream of you, Sephiroth. I wonder if you dream of me?” Hopeful that his bond-mate’s sudden, tinnient intake of breath proved that he was correct in his assertions, Cloud smiled weakly as he approached the older male’s turned back.

“I...I’m so confused. You are not normally a man who goes in circles, Sephiroth.”

Rounding on him fiercely, Sephiroth growled, “Either you desire me in _‘that’_ way, or you do not, Cloud! What’s so complex about understanding this basic concept?!”

Anger rolling off his shoulders and neck in bundles and masses, Cloud threw Sephiroth a sharp looked before he bit out aggressively, “What difference does it make? You’ve already ruled out the possibility that maybe I _do_ want more.” Resisting the urge to slap Sephiroth in the forehead, he concluded coldly, “You’ve clearly got your own ideas floating around in your head, so do whatever you feel is best for yourself.”

The tense rigidity of Sephiroth’s stance was so unlike the One Winged Angel’s normally relaxed, confident posture that it took Cloud a moment to interpret the incensed body language. He’d so rarely seen this man telegraphing defeat before that it was astonishing in this personal setting, but Sephiroth was standing there looking as though he’d lost everything that mattered to him in the world. All because of him…all because of his young bond-mate…

Reevaluating the situation, Cloud cautiously ventured, “You...you still frighten me. I won’t lie to you, Sephiroth.” Hanging his head remorsefully, he brokenly sighed out, “I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, I don’t know what to tell my friends, because Gaia knows, they _do_ deserve to know the truth, and they _will_ figure it out at one point.”

Eyes in slits, Sephiroth gently orated without betraying himself, “I care about you, Cloud. Everything’s changed.”

The way he was speaking, now, Cloud was aware that he was taking a chance, laying his own vulnerability out in the open like that. As enemies, they’d once tried so hard to appear perfect in each other’s eyes that they would rarely admit to so much as an ache or scrape. Speaking so openly about his fear made Cloud feel as if he were baring his deepest secrets. This wasn’t to be taken lightly, and he knew he was putting up so much to be struck down and lost in the process.

Stepping directly in front of Sephiroth, Cloud looked up at his face and searched those bottomless green eyes for some sign of subterfuge, some hint that this was just another overused line in Sephiroth’s malicious repertoire. Perhaps he was so besotted by another interpretation of Sephiroth that he couldn’t even read his harsher, unforgiving sides anymore. But Cloud was focusing on the words Sephiroth had poured forth. They seemed like honey to his pained ears and inflamed conscience. Sephiroth appeared so sincere…

Cloud forced himself to remain perfectly still as Sephiroth’s right hand bearing the new bracelet eased onto his shoulder and steadily approached his face. He would not flinch away from Sephiroth again. Much to his own dismay, he’d already made that particular mistake once, tonight. As such, Cloud watched that hand approach as he would a poisonous snake. Deep down, he wanted to flee; but like a cobra’s ensnared victim, that was no longer an option.

Sephiroth seemed to release an in-held breath when his palm actually made contact with Cloud’s left cheek. Keeping a close watch on his face, Sephiroth playfully rubbed his thumb tip over his cheekbone and along the bridge of his nose.

Even that harmless caress was enough to make him shake, and now that it’d started, Cloud wasn’t able to stop it.

Cloud stood there trembling with the knowledge that this was really about to happen. His reaction to that was as much one of fear as of desire. The most frustrating part was that he knew the calm, silver-haired male could read it all in his eyes, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it, for his inexperience was something he simply couldn’t hide. Sephiroth’s expression was too gentle, too understanding, and his words were doing things to Cloud he’d never thought about before.

Unable to bear the exposure, Cloud hastily closed his eyes again. At least that way, he wouldn’t see his own downfall reflected in the shiny orbs.

The floors creaked and groaned, and Cloud felt Sephiroth move closer. Nervous, the youth stood still, not even breathing, his mouth pursed tight in anxious anticipation. Sephiroth would kiss him, at this rate, and his world would shatter around himself into a million tiny pieces...

But, as always, Sephiroth’s actions were beyond prediction. Instead of his tightly guarded mouth, it was Cloud’s warm forehead that was the recipient of Sephiroth’s attentions. Cloud gently gasped as the lightest of kisses was placed on the spot directly beneath the fringe of his bangs. He felt careful fingers discover the texture of his hair, and the shape of his skull as Sephiroth continued to tenderly kiss the way along his brow.

This was so gentle…Cloud was surprised he hadn’t melted through the floor, now. Sephiroth was handling him with so much care and delicacy, and it stunned the younger male right now to his last nerve. This was dangerous…this was explosive…this was… divine impetus, aeviternal…

“Do you like this, Cloud?” Sephiroth quietly questioned, sounding mildly worried.

Reluctant to chance what his voice might reveal, Cloud only gave a tight nod. Too much was happening at once. Sephiroth’s moist breath against his skin, the kiss itself, what it was doing to his body was utterly torporific and soporific. But why hadn’t Sephiroth kissed him where he’d wanted to be kissed? Cloud had to pause and wonder about this, but eventually, he set that aside. He was actually more grateful it’d never happened, as he wasn’t ready for it.

Much more needed to happen. Cloud had achieved erections before, especially during the most inopportune moments like any young male in his prime, but not this fast or this hard. His penis had tightened at the first brush of Sephiroth’s lips and was now an uncomfortable pressure in his pants. He couldn’t get his lungs to work right, otherwise, he would’ve been able to voice that they needed to take this someplace else, and not in full daylight right before the open windows.

There was no air in the room; the temperature seemed to be rising dramatically; and he was beginning to feel dizzy. Perhaps if there were any semblances of oxygen, here, an invisible source had gassed them, his dazed mind clutched for an explanation.

Then, Sephiroth’s kiss moved from the center of his forehead to his left eye, and the troubled junior knew that it was no invisible, ethereal source affecting himself. It was just Sephiroth and all the powers he wielded over Cloud. That, all by itself, truly was enough to render Cloud weak in the knees.

Shuddering, Cloud felt his bond-mate’s tongue sweep across his eyebrow. Sampling and tasting him as he went along, Sephiroth gave out a throaty moan. “Hmm, you taste wonderful, Cloud…I wasn’t wrong in thinking that,” he exclaimed before exploring the shape and texture of the adolescent’s eyelid and lashes, all the while subjecting the sensitive area to that moist fall of warm breath.

Then, the delicate tongue tip moved to probe the tear duct in the corner. Stunned, Cloud quivered as Sephiroth licked up and swallowed the traces of fresh tears that had started to accumulate there. No one, positively _no one_ had ever done that before. The fastidious side of Cloud’s nature found the concept positively repugnant, but the more immediate, primal part of himself shook in wonder. If Sephiroth would do that when they hadn’t even kissed, yet, what _wouldn’t_ his uninhibited partner do once he was granted free license to the rest of his body?

Whimpering, Cloud thought desperately, _‘I think I’m going to die…Gaia, he’s found a new way to kill me…’_

_‘If one could perish due to immense pleasure, then I suppose you may have a point, Cloud.’_

When Sephiroth’s voice floated through his head space, Cloud snapped out of his dazed state. Suddenly, the golden-haired male lunged, grasping the older male with such ferociousness that Sephiroth was even stunned by it.

Cloud choked in a ragged breath and grasped hold of Sephiroth’s strong elbows to hold himself up. The hit of oxygen did nothing to clear his mind. All he could smell was the pine-forest scent of Sephiroth’s body wash and the clean aroma of his bond-mate’s long hair.

Chest heaving in and out wildly, Cloud desperately cried out, “Can we do m-more? Somewhere else? I mean…you…” Gulping down mouthfuls of fresh air, he wheezed, “You…s-started it, now y-you h-h-have to take c-care of it! P-please!”

Tightly gripping his hand, Sephiroth was already making way to exit the large room. Without even glancing at Cloud, his dark shadows reflecting on the walls were enough to nearly send his younger bond-mate reeling back.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The blurred patterns of the furniture and vast decorations in the bedroom were all that Cloud briefly noted before Sephiroth moved behind his feverish body to stand rigid and firm. Hands brushing the blonde bangs and strands, in no time, Sephiroth cradled Cloud’s pliant form to himself, almost crushing his bond-mate in the process.

Sephiroth’s delicate kisses moved on to his cheekbone, following the bone line almost to his ear before slanting back across his face again. Cloud had never been kissed like this before, so slowly, so elegantly. Undergoing Sephiroth’s slow seduction, he recognized that he’d never really been kissed before, period. Not by someone who had true feelings for him, not by _anyone_.

Perhaps it was sheer vanity, but Cloud had seen other young men closer to his own age romancing dozens of different women, and never had Cloud seemed to pay this kind of attention to the details involved with the process. Romance and all the feelings associated with it had to be the most delicate thing in the world.

If one had no idea what they were doing, surely, they would slip and fall, effectively ruining the mood. Sephiroth never did, however. Though Cloud didn’t suppose he was overly experienced, the older warrior definitely knew how to handle a lover with as much precision and exactness as he had his weapon.

Sephiroth took his time lavishing plenty of generous kisses all over Cloud’s face. They had to have been at this for over ten minutes already, and his partner hadn’t even kissed his lips, yet. Sephiroth seemed totally absorbed with stroking his junior’s unruly hair and sampling his facial features, and Cloud was content with permitting him to take as much time as he needed.

Finally, after an age, Sephiroth approached his mouth. There was no great fanfare, no tension-laden pause. Sephiroth’s tongue simply lapped across his cheek, slowing when it reached Cloud’s mouth to outline his lips.

The shivering, quaking, burdensome barrage as that sensitive swab tickled the tiny, invisible hairs there quaked through Cloud. As he stiffened his posture, he knew he’d been expecting for the One Winged Angel’s kissing technique to be hot and steamy.

But in this, there was none of the selfish rush towards completion. There was a refinement to every one of Sephiroth’s touches, an overwhelming sense of tender care. Admittedly, Cloud’s personal experience was more than nonexistent, but to his bewildered mind, it almost seemed as though his partner had been mindfully catering his actions to Cloud’s own need. There was nothing typical about what Sephiroth was doing to him. This...this was almost worship.

Up until the second Sephiroth had touched him like this, he had been simply existing, filling in time, not living. With every second his older bond-mate caressed him, Sephiroth was teaching him what it meant to be truly alive. There wasn’t a single cell in Cloud’s body that wasn’t tingling mercilessly from this contact. Cloud was so overwhelmed that he could barely retain the wherewithal to do his part to return the facial kisses.

Though he felt disappointed for remaining statuesque in his intimacy, he felt Sephiroth didn’t mind at all. The graceful man wasn’t overly demanding; he only wished to explore every inch of Cloud.

Once he’d taken his time to explore the length between Cloud’s jawline and his cheekbones, the shorter male hissed and huffed, trying to push his bond-mate into moving this along faster.

Sephiroth laughed at Cloud’s discomfort. “Too bad,” he purred hungrily, running his hands down to the younger man’s pants. “If I don’t hurry this up, something tells me you’ll expire right here, Cloud. We can’t have that, can we?” He made quick work of the button and zipper on Cloud’s fly and snaked his hand into the opening, his lips latching onto the side of Cloud’s neck in an instant. Two fingers slid decisively between Cloud’s posterior cheeks, moving unerringly towards their intended target.

Panting desperately, Cloud didn’t dare peek down at where Sephiroth’s hand was purposefully moving. “W-what…w-wait!” Writhing back against Sephiroth’s front, Cloud moaned loudly at the feel of hot lips and tongue against his skin, his eyes glazing over with lust.

It was too much too soon!

“You don’t have to be quiet and so shy,” Sephiroth whispered against his skin. “Do you know just how much your voice thrills and entices me, Cloud? Hmm?”

Sephiroth’s free hand ghosted over his cock, and Cloud clamped a hand over his mouth. With a strained huff, the other trembling limb came rising to fist in Sephiroth’s long hair. Nimble fingers stroked over sensitive flesh, coaxing him into full hardness within a few minutes. Cloud again whimpered as he felt Sephiroth’s venerous mouth travelling up to suck on his ear, his hips thrusting into the narrow channel of the older male’s fingers instinctively.

It suddenly came to a crashing halt, but before Cloud was able to wail and sob from the loss, Sephiroth gently gnawed at his neck. “Turn around,” Sephiroth ordered softly, hand squeezing Cloud’s erection for emphasis. When the younger male didn’t immediately comply, he simply placed his powerful hands over Cloud’s hips and spun him around, maneuvering his stymied bond-mate carefully in the large room until he’d slammed the blonde up against a wall near the bed.

With half the air in his lungs forcefully wrenched out of himself, Cloud blinked back through tears. They fell, but as they did, Sephiroth collected them as though trying to hang on to the most excellent and rarest form of treasures in the world.

Cloud braced himself against the wall and bit his lower lip in an attempt to keep quiet. Behind himself, he could feel the movement of something like silk against his bare thighs as Sephiroth opened his robe. A moment later, he heard the zipper on the One Winged Angel’s pants being pulled down.

“S-Sephiroth,” Cloud gaped as the older male nuzzled against him, effectively turning him to a puddle of desire and want. “W-what’s h-h-happening?”

“Intercrural sex,” the more patient male explained didactically. “That’s what we’re doing here, and you will enjoy it.” Yanking Cloud’s pants down in a hurry, Sephiroth nearly growled when Cloud wasn’t able to lift his heavy feet out of the holes at the bottom.

Once he’d stepped out of his pants and kicked off his boots, Cloud’s brain sent a bolt of potent electricity surging into his thoughts. Sex?! Sephiroth was talking about sex, now?!

Panicking, Cloud tried to hang onto his underwear before Sephiroth took those off his torso, too. “Woah! W-wait! Sephiroth! Please! I’m n-not ready for you to p-p-put it in!”

Toying with the elastic band on the waistline, Sephiroth nodded. Gruffly, he breathed out, “I know. I’m not going to do that, not today, which is why I suggested this as an alternative.”

Still not clued in, Cloud whined, “Huh?”

Tossing him a sexually fiery look, Sephiroth explained, “This is a form of sex, and I want to do this…” Fingers tickling and trailing Cloud’s waistline, Sephiroth circled the flesh numerous times, allowing his partner to grow accustomed to the scratch of his gloved fingertips there before he yanked and tugged on the underwear once more.

“Cloud, I really want to hold you…I _want_ you,” he explained as delicately as he could, already pushing the underwear clean off the length of bone holding Cloud’s shivering body up. “This is why I’m doing this,” Sephiroth declaimed as he never took his eyes off Cloud’s. “You won’t let me have you in the other way. I know you’re not ready, and it’s fine. But now, you can’t have any complaints!”

Nearly tearing a hole through his own undergarments, Sephiroth quickly opened the ‘v’ front of his dark pants, spinning Cloud around until his front had been meshed with the wall before himself. A steady hand worked its way between Cloud’s legs, toying with his erection in determined strokes that would surely be the end of the youth. In mere seconds, Cloud’s dark sweater had been yanked up to the top of his nipples.

Clawing at the wall due to the lack of preparation, Cloud hissed as he buckled against Sephiroth. The subtle tightening of Sephiroth’s hand insured there would be no end, however, even if Cloud felt like exploding. After a couple of long, firm strokes, Sephiroth gently released him. Standing closer, he nudged the back of Cloud’s knees with his own, urging his legs closer together.

Cloud was able to feel the heat from Sephiroth’s cock hovering between his cheeks, and his own twitched in anticipation. Lips dry and cracked, he panted and whined as he moved back at the same time Sephiroth moved closer. Hips met a firm behind, and Sephiroth was looming behind him. But he refused to hurry, carefully laying his chest against Cloud’s toned back, stretching forward to nibble at the back of his neck.

“I refuse to let you take your own sweet time,” Sephiroth grumbled, summoning up a complaint as Cloud cried out for his older bond-mate’s distracting hand that was now gone. Cooing, Sephiroth nibbled at his neck before inquiring playfully, “What’s the matter?”

Mewling, practically, Cloud whimpered timorously, “This…uhh…this is a b-bit embarrassing, Sephiroth!”

“Hmm?” Kissing right in the center of the youth’s warm back, Sephiroth stated logically, “Your back’s turned to me.” As though emphasizing his point, he planted another kiss in the middle of Cloud’s back before licking along in random patterns. Drawing away when Cloud voiced that he had enough, Sephiroth cooed pleasantly, “No reason for modesty.”

The hot slide of skin against skin forced another sound out of Cloud. Biting down on his lower lip, he soon tasted blood as his teeth broke through the soft skin of his lip. Sephiroth slid a hand up his front, creeping the limb up further beneath his sweater, and he started nibbling the Cloud’s sensitive ear. Overwhelmed already, Cloud barely managed to refrain from crying out.

As his bond-mate’s kisses continued along, Cloud hissed brokenly, “I c-can’t!”

“You can,” Sephiroth growled possessively, biting the fleshy part of Cloud’s earlobe harder in response to Cloud’s rebuttal. “After all, how can you claim this is embarrassing when you had your greedy lips and mouth buried between my legs? Hmm?”

When Sephiroth thrust against him, Cloud spread his legs on instinct. Then, he felt hands running up and down his sides, bunching his sweater up under his arms when it nearly slid down. A light tug was felt, and Sephiroth paused before he yanked the article of clothing completely off in a jiffy.

Watching as it floated at their feet like a veil being brushed aside, Cloud remained surprised when Sephiroth growled authoritatively, “Keep your legs together.” When Cloud stood frozen, Sephiroth nipped at the back of his neck to encourage him to move.

Eventually, Cloud did as he was told, pressing his legs together tightly. Then, something hot and hard was slipping between his thighs, pressing against his balls, sliding along his own length. Behind him, Sephiroth stifled a groan against the nape of his neck and began moving.

Sephiroth had distracted him again, reaching around this time. Cloud knew he was rock hard now, cock curving up towards his gut, dribbles of pre-come adding to the generous lubrication. Sephiroth took an extra moment to enjoy the sensation of his bond-mate shifting impatiently under himself, full body contact, his cock nestling comfortably in the cleft of Cloud’s supple cheeks before he shifted and thrust with more intensity between the younger male’s closed thighs.

Cloud hissed as Sephiroth’s cock rubbed against his tight channel, lubing up skin as their flesh slid pleasurably together. Sephiroth worked Cloud in time to his own tentative thrusts, his other hand on Cloud’s hip, pulling him back in time when he pushed forward. Firmly, Sephiroth began thrusting further until the head of his cock was rubbing up and down the underside of Cloud’s shaft.

There was nothing quite like this, and Cloud was doomed once it’d started. It was exactly like having sex, and he didn’t dare look down as Sephiroth’s larger head pushed its way back and forth between his legs. It was so perverse, yet beautiful in its own way, and he didn’t need to literally turn into a puddle of mushy goo right then and there. Through accidie and sloth, he felt as though he’d been bathing in a sea of pure warmth and satisfaction. Hopefully, the gratification wouldn’t come to an end.

In a foggy hazy of heady lust and passion, Cloud gingerly brought his arms away from the wall and let out a deep moan when his knuckles accidentally hit his hard nipples. “Wh-what’s…ugh…what’s th-this?”

“Intercrural,” Sephiroth repeated. He shifted his grip to accommodate them both and worked a little faster. “Means ‘between the legs’, you incorrigible brat.” The pressure of Cloud’s thighs was distracting, to say the least, but Sephiroth struggled to continue. “Its origins are derived from Latin…or maybe it’s Greek?”

They both didn’t care at all.

Soon, Cloud shoved back against his bond-mate, much to his own horror. “I’m…oooh…shit…” This couldn’t have been happening…this was sex between two men? Or could a man and woman enjoy this, too?!

Gingerly touching his neck, Sephiroth commented sensually, “I see sex makes you stupid, Cloud…at least more so than you already are by yourself.”

Too far gone to engage in the banter, he scratched his fingernails over the walls at the same time Sephiroth’s hand slid up from his cock to his nipples when Cloud no longer had energy to do it himself. Plucking the hardened tips for a while, he soon moved back down to stroke Cloud. Hungrily, Sephiroth then sucked on the sweaty skin between his shoulder blades, trying to reduce Cloud to the same state he himself was slipping into.

For several minutes, there was nothing but the sound of inarticulate groans and the slap of skin against skin. Cloud nearly cried when he felt himself already reaching his peak. Sephiroth was guiding and orchestrating everything, leaving the younger male overcome as much by the thrill of someone quite uxorious and more experienced being on top, setting the pace, being the source of pleasure as much as by any particular sensation.

Curiously, Cloud peeked over his shoulder at Sephiroth. His vision swallowed up the sight of Sephiroth concentrating. His eyes were nearly closed, but he must’ve sensed being watched. Eyes slowly opening wider, Cloud noticed that the feline-like slits were slightly dilated, now. Gasping and twitching, Cloud grew wetter, coating Sephiroth’s cock and the fist working it. With a small grin of triumph, the other man followed him over the edge.

As Sephiroth began pounding away, Cloud nearly fell bent in half at his waist. The fact that there was no sound in the room except for their ragged breathing and the obscene sound of skin against skin made it worse. Cloud shuddered as he felt Sephiroth moving against himself, behind his ass, between his thighs. Nimble fingers trailed fire across his chest, a thumb rubbing against one nipple repeatedly. Panting as his face contorted between signs of pleasure and ones of pain, Cloud twisted his head to one side and bit down on his own arm in an attempt to keep quiet.

Then, Sephiroth’s hand began moving down his front and wrapping around both of their lengths, simultaneously pumping them. Cloud’s cock slid perfectly along Sephiroth’s as he thrust, blood pounding in his ears and arousal flooding through himself with each jerk delivered to his body.

“Come for me, Cloud,” Sephiroth whispered placidly, lips moving against his partner’s hot ear, ending the overheated youth.

That’s all it took for Cloud to finally fall off the edge. He knew that his teeth were almost breaking through the skin of his arm, but he couldn’t help it. He was afraid he’d say something even more embarrassing if he didn’t shut himself up.

Body taking over, Cloud focused on how smooth and soft Sephiroth’s hands were against his cock and hips. When the older male had found the time to rip off his gloves was an unknown thing to the highly aroused youth, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Cloud had already started falling and crumbling. Shuddering and twitching around like an eel on land, Cloud was spilling all over himself and Sephiroth’s bare hand. Noticing how it all felt, Sephiroth started coming as well, his semen mixing with Cloud’s on the wall in front of them.

Noticing again that Sephiroth only came with a deep sigh, Cloud felt his cheeks becoming inflamed. Sephiroth was just too composed no matter what, but it was starting to grow into a more welcome sight for the young blonde.

Sephiroth drew them away from the wall and onto the bed in a few quick steps. Cloud collapsed onto his stomach and Sephiroth sprawled bonelessly next to him. They were both breathing quite heavily, but the older warrior recovered a lot faster.

“Well?” he demanded when he found his voice again, “how did that feel, Cloud?”

Raising his head limply, Cloud felt traces of pleasure spanning through his length, but it wasn’t hard again, yet. Grateful for that, he felt himself sinking into his own heavy, sudorous puddles in the sheets. Already, he was imagining and wondering about what the ‘real deal’ would be like with Sephiroth, and while he’d wanted to inquire about it, something in the glow of the light pouring into the windows caught his attention and snatched the words right out of his mouth.

His gift had been there all along, dangling and hanging onto Sephiroth’s bare wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥵🥵🥵💦


	29. Love Thy Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter everyone has been asking for...Cloud and Sephiroth finally kiss!💕💞

All good things gradually came to an end, as the hapless saying went. Due to the deeper levels of the nascent bond, Cloud discovered that Sephiroth’s words had indeed been true. They spent more time together in each other’s company, and their arguments and bickering decreased tremendously.

Half the time, Cloud felt he was serenely and genuinely happy. Sephiroth, although still mildly aloof and taciturn, changed in his own ways. Whenever he’d wanted to lash out at Cloud with an insult, as though tasting something sour or bitter, his face would scrunch up, and he would turn away before changing the topic of the conversation into a more pleasant one.

The process wasn’t painful at all, and Cloud felt he enjoyed this new level of companionship. Every now and then, the burning desire to be physically close hit them both. Sometimes, Cloud would approach, and other times, Sephiroth would possessively wrap Cloud in his long arms before they got lost in a form of intimacy.

Majority of the time, however, not much needed to be said. A single look from Sephiroth across a room would alert Cloud to plenty, and he would lose himself to hours spent with Sephiroth.

Hasty hand jobs and blow jobs were exchanged, and the illimitable boundaries of pleasure and sexuality were more than enough for Cloud to sample and bask in. Sephiroth treated him well, never pushing or demanding too much, and as a result, Cloud felt he was slowly beginning to trust the silver-haired male.

Sephiroth always tended to him, flitting easily back and forth from the roles of a demanding lover, and a sensually tender one. Most of the time, Sephiroth drained all his energy that way, and as they worked up a good sweat, they hardly left the privacy of their room for many long hours.

The teasing and flirting didn’t seem to ever come to an end, but it was far from tedious for Cloud. They didn’t duel much since their bedroom adventures and antics kicked in, but Cloud was content with that. Sometimes, he preferred the easier things in life, and for a while, that was enough for them.

It _had_ been enough, until one rainy morning, a dark thought Cloud had awoken with plagued and chased him through and through until the late afternoon. Like a disease spreading through his flesh, and just like the Geostigma still hanging onto his arm, it stayed there with him, importunately nagging at him until he considered the weight of its toll on his mind and energy. It ate away at his confidence and strength, zapping and leaving him dead and dry as though wandering in the desert for days.

Stricken as he was by its effects, the probability of ignoring it all and pushing it away into the realms of nonexistence were rapidly dwindling. As much as he loathed to admit it, there wasn’t time enough to consider that this was just a fleeting, silly thought. He had to consider it well, and he had to search deep down within his own grasp over reality to understand why and how this thought had taken its seizing hold over himself in the first place.

Was _any_ of this real?

That had been the first question Cloud woke up with freshly stamped in his mind. Was every little experience he’d been encountering with Sephiroth genuinely happening? Was any of this a product of his own exasperated mind? Where were the lines, and how solid were they in the fabric of the world he’d been toying with?

They were blurring…at first, he’d caught onto a trace of it due to Sephiroth’s shifty, dubious behavior, but the older male had always explained that portion belonging to the soul bond and its power.

Was it really the case, however?

Again, he had to wonder just what the hell they were even doing, here. What was Sephiroth really after? As nice as the sexual exchanges and sweet words happened to be, when it was all over, Cloud sometimes sensed a heavy, tingling sensation channeling into his heart and bearing down on himself. It felt like someone sitting on him, as best as he could describe it, and he’d never understood the root cause of it.

Was this it, however? Was he guilty for abandoning his friends and fraternizing with Sephiroth? Was he to be hunted and hated, now?

Cloud had to consider the possibility that since he’d seen Sephiroth plenty of other times from the time Avalanche had invited the adolescent to work with them, it didn’t matter what they’d been going through, now. This could’ve been no different, and perhaps Sephiroth wasn’t real. This was all a damn nightmare that Cloud’s own disturbed, fragile mind had conjured and formed into a tangible part of his own reality, and all for the sake of his own security.

Maybe this was his own way of understanding and decoding all the hidden messages Sephiroth’s last encounter with Cloud at the ‘Edge of Creation’ had bestowed unto himself. It’d never made much sense to Cloud, then, but perhaps he’d been the one responsible for acting as the catalyst to channel the memories and the associated meanings behind them.

To be real was to sense and feel, after all…

He’d known from previous experience that Sephiroth was not only deviously tricky, but he had quite a distinguished knack for powering his own existence and presence through the ways in which other people’s memories of himself were perceived. Be it fear, hatred, resentment, or a specific, single memory, if that was the power source, Sephiroth perhaps had been extending his own traces and gaining strength through…

Through which means? Through Cloud’s fear? Through his weakness? Through his growing strength?

He’d asked Sephiroth once before if he was even really here among them. Remembering it as if it’d happened a day ago, Cloud thought of Jenova hovering above them all behind Sephiroth in her containment tank. And just what had happened to Jenova? The entity had been somehow responsible for the existence of Geostigma, even though Sephiroth had personally granted him that so called ‘gift’.

Where was Jenova? Could he even dare to ask? The last time he’d even touched the tank on a whim, a dark odium hung over Sephiroth, much like a vicious, evil aura. Protectively, he’d kept Cloud away from Jenova, he’d hid away his mysterious past, the memories, everything. Now, Cloud still felt like a prisoner, again, only this time, he was a prisoner of his own mind.

He had to leave. There would be no other way to suffer other than to fester in this unknown realm, and Cloud had sampled enough of _this_ form of torture involving someone he cared for so dearly…if only he could be forthcoming with his feelings once and for all. What if that was all it took for Sephiroth to…no…this was foolish, and more than likely just an errant, stupid thought due to their ‘bond’.

Was the bond even real!?

Nothing made sense anymore, and Cloud grew irritable the longer he scoured through the mansion, so desperate to find some books or documents at least suggesting or giving away to some clues regarding the bond. As he suspected, however, he found nothing. The longer he searched, the more exhausted he became. The Shinra Mansion’s secrets here in this realm were entirely closed-off to him. Perhaps purposefully, or perhaps due to an unbiased form of protection for Sephiroth’s sake…

Upon realizing that he hadn’t made any progress, the mako-eyed youth’s mood became as stormy as the weather for the rest of the night. Sephiroth noticed he was being aloof, and he didn’t let it go on for long. Pursuing Cloud, he discovered that the young man had been pacing around the second level of the mansion, eyes troubled and filled with pained emotions churning messily about as the importunate, irksome thoughts all blended together.

Approaching him carefully, Sephiroth’s rose and vanilla scents wafted in the air, alerting the disgruntled Cloud to his presence long before he’d even said a word. 

Glaring down at him impatiently without any intentions of accoying and pacifying his bond-mate, Sephiroth hissed mirthlessly, “What’s troubling you, Cloud?”

If Sephiroth really wanted to hear the painfully satisfying answer, maybe it was time to deliver, then. Raising his head so they would be able to at least see each other, Cloud nearly groaned when he sensed just how irate Sephiroth was. Though his face was impassive, his eyes gave plenty away.

Cloud realized that since they’d grown closer, he hardly had to put forth an effort to understand and recognize Sephiroth’s emotions. The man often behaved as though he never possessed any, but therein lay the fact that he was burying and suppressing them all. Cloud knew how to read him, now, and as he stood facing the taller, older fighter, he realized his own defeat lay ahead on the horizon like a frozen sun.

Without even noticing it, his lips and mouth had already betrayed him. “You’re not really here…none of this is and ever was real.”

The words splashed back and forth between them like cold water. Cloud and Sephiroth made no sudden moves, yet, confused as ever. Their eyes widened, pupils dilated, and together, they simultaneously glowered at one another. Seething and fuming became a second nature for them both as they were equally left with a surly expression, but eventually, Sephiroth spoke up first.

“You’re simply an idiot if you believe that.”

Was that _all_ he had to offer?!? The indifference carved into the man’s voice and visage were simply astounding.

Lips drawn in a tight line, Cloud squinted so hard until he had wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. Resisting the urge to punch something, the embittered young man growled, “Then let me find out the truth for myself. If I’m wrong, then I’ll be more than happy to admit I was wrong, and I guess I’ll owe you an apology or something.” It all sounded incredibly dumb even to himself, but he didn’t want to admit that to Sephiroth just yet.

Snorting derisively, Sephiroth huffed, “It’d be in your best interest to apologize _now,_ before you—hey! Where do you even _suppose_ you’re going, Cloud?”

Already, Cloud had given up on the useless argument. It wasn’t going to go anywhere, and he’d conceded that point ahead of time. Taking the steps two at a time, he bounded down to the last one with Sephiroth flying closely behind his heels. Shouting and screaming back and forth at each other of course would do them no good. They were past that level of provocation, and they silently moved along the corridors and halls like two spirits floating above the floor.

Rooms breezed by Cloud, and the miserably conflicted young man wasn’t paying attention much to anything. Sephiroth’s crude, boorish words rang in his ears, and while he heard them, he wasn’t receiving them. They never registered; only torment and grief over being denied the truth he felt he was owed took up space in his frustrated thoughts.

Sephiroth swiftly and silently followed Cloud into the old library the young man had tried to explore in search of all the answers to his burning questions, anger gathering on his shoulders as he seethed and fumed.

Minaciously stiffening in his posture like an animal ready to lash out, Sephiroth ground out thickly, “Delusional theories won’t help you, Cloud. Why’re you struggling so much?”

Not wanting to answer just yet, Cloud pretended as though a book had caught his interest. Running his fingers along the spine, his stolid silence deeply offended Sephiroth.

“Don’t ignore me!” With a warning growl laced in malice, the older male bashed his body into Cloud’s, sending the youth slamming into the bookshelves. A few of the books on the highest shelves came toppling, and Cloud managed to catch one right on time before it bashed into his head.

Holding it to his chest, with an innervated quotha etched over his features, he snapped at Sephiroth, “Stop it!”

Frustration swam out of him, and Sephiroth demanded in a strenuous tone, “Will you pay attention, now?!”

Arrogantly turning his back to his putrid enemy, Cloud steadily climbed up a long, dark ladder, aiming to put the book he’d caught back in its rightful place. “I don’t need to listen to you,” he spat as he placed his left hand on the side of the ladder, while his right one reached out for the bookshelf. “All that matters is you’re not real, and none of this was _ever_ real from the start!”

From the floor, Sephiroth cried out, “Is that what you really believe?”

Eyeing the ceiling high above, Cloud swallowed. When had he grown to fear heights? Before he lost his courage, he called back at Sephiroth boisterously, “Yes! I have all the proof I need!” Balancing his weight on the ladder, he continued to shout, “If you had nothing to hide, then you’d have no issues with me getting the hell out of here so I can learn for myself!”

The ladder swayed, but due to his vehement rage bubbling beneath his composed surface, Cloud never noticed it. Shoving the book back onto the old shelf next to its brethren, he paused and shouted viciously, “You’re _not_ real!” Right when he relinquished his hold on the shelf, he felt his feet slipping from the ring of the ladder he was standing on.

From that point on, it all happened in some kind of slow-motion effect.

Cloud felt his stomach plummeting right before he flew through the air. He’d lost his grip on both the bookshelf and ladder. His arms flailed, and he managed to clumsily knock a few other books from their shelves. In blurs of colors, the dusty books flew up, the air breezing through their pages before they landed on the floor with a tearing sound.

Meanwhile, Cloud desperately tried to get a hold onto something that could prevent himself from falling. At this height, he knew he would break a bone. Fearfully, he threw his arms around the first solid object he on the way down encountered.

It turned out to be Sephiroth’s strong neck.

He grasped the young ex-SOLDIER tightly, Cloud’s feet swaying a few inches above the ground. Yet again, Sephiroth had rushed in and saved him, and Cloud wasn’t too thrilled about that. His heart was still racing, full of fear, soon to be replaced by another unsettling feeling he knew all too well. For his blunder, he would have to apologize, and he most certainly didn’t want to. Sephiroth didn’t deserve an apology, yet he technically did…

Gently lowering him to the floor, Sephiroth gazed down at his fuming bond-mate, perhaps anticipating for Cloud to say something. Craning his neck, both their heads were almost held at the same height, their eyes locked in quite the tentiginous manner. Cloud never knew how it came to be that he immediately was pulled into those green, drowning depths. He was only aware of his own pounding heartbeat, and his weakness when it came to even utter a syllable.

Cloud gasped softly as Sephiroth gently moved him back until his shoulders connected with a sturdy wall. Not stopping, yet, Sephiroth firmly slid Cloud up most intimately against his body. All the while, his eyes kept drilling into the younger male’s, as though seeking something unknown entirely.

After an age, Sephiroth began in a beastly growl, “You think I’m not real?” Mulling that over, he frowned, nostrils flaring for a moment before he pressed out faintly, “I see…”

For a moment, it looked like time stood still, both men panting roughly as they engaged in their own staring contest. No clear winner was in sight, and Cloud felt tears stinging his eyes. Importunately and stubbornly, he never blinked. The already unfocused gaze he shot forth at the silver-haired warrior practically glazed over.

Seeming to move on sheer instinct, as though intending to punish him for his recalcitrance in that fiery look alone, Sephiroth pushed him back even further and rougher against the stone wall, gathering both of his smaller hands in one of his own and pressing them up over Cloud’s unruly hair. Each crude stone that made up the wall dug painfully into Cloud’s warm flesh, and he cringed in a natural response. That never stopped Sephiroth, for his only aim was to now inflict passionate emotions through the pain.

It was as though through hurting each other, they could convey every tiny thing they’d buried and repressed for months…no, for _years._

The breath had been brutally knocked out of his lungs when he foolishly tried to move, and Sephiroth rammed him back again. Cloud winced as his bound hands caught their combined weight. The leather straps of Sephiroth’s uniform dug mercilessly into his skin, and Sephiroth’s strong weight nearly crushed him. Still, Cloud sought to be pressed even closer to the taller, older male.

How could it be helped? The heat burning through the top-ranking ex-SOLDIER was phenomenal. His foe seemed hot as a furnace, and just as heavy as the cast-iron contraption. Fighting back for room to breathe, Cloud wriggled, but that only ended up locking his legs with Sephiroth’s. As he arched up, the long ends of Sephiroth’s silver hair scratched painfully at his neck. Moving ever closer, his bond-mate was clearly trying to mold them together as though they were one entity.

Sephiroth continued observing him intently, pupils unyielding, when finally, they dilated right then and there before Cloud. It was far too subtle, but Cloud was so close that he noticed it immediately. The blonde inhaled sharply, and then, daringly and strongly, Sephiroth grabbed onto Cloud’s cheeks, cupping them firmly as he pulled the youth up to himself and began to kiss him hungrily.

His lips crushed Cloud’s forcefully, and this delightful pressure made the blonde’s knees tremble as he succumbed to febricity. Involuntarily, Cloud pushed aside all thoughts of reason and propriety as he emitted a breathy gasp while melting into the kiss. It was as if every bone in his body had already started disintegrating piece by piece.

Desperately wrenching his arms out of Sephiroth’s grasp, Cloud clung to Sephiroth as if his life depended on it. Gently, in response, Sephiroth moved Cloud’s head to one side and his kiss deepened. The younger man’s lips parted for him almost instantly, and only the tips of tongues met at first.

Not at all practiced in such an intimate exchange, Cloud discovered that while his own technique lacked, going with the feelings came all too naturally to himself. Cloud was amazed at the feeling that passed through himself at Sephiroth’s touch. His head was swimming, and when he felt a warm tongue entering his mouth, he groaned deeply and responded passionately.

Cloud had expected to be ravaged within an inch of his life. He wouldn’t have blamed Sephiroth for losing control after the way he’d titillated the taller male. But, although amorous, all the roughness seemed to leave Sephiroth as soon as their flesh made contact.

Framing Cloud’s soft face with both palms, the older male hungrily took his bond-mate’s mouth over and over again, but there was no force used as the kiss took on new emotions. Sephiroth didn’t want to stop what they were doing, and Cloud didn’t mind being kissed within an inch of his life. Sephiroth simply kissed and kissed his lips until Cloud urgently poked his tongue into his bond-mate’s mouth in total desperation. He drank Sephiroth’s delectable kisses the way he recalled how a parched man would be guzzling water when he’d been lost in the desert.

The more he wanted, the more Sephiroth gave. The affair that had been steadily brewing and mounting between them had left them both with an unquenchable thirst. This very thirst was one that only grew stronger for all their attempts at slaking it.

In his need to touch this incredible man, Cloud kept straining at his own bonds, finally finding his hands to get them moving. They wandered along Sephiroth’s upper torso, which the One Winged Angel didn’t seem to mind. Slowly, Cloud’s hands dropped lower, but the belt held tight. The resulting pain of having to undo that only added to his excitement.

His state of utter defenselessness was homed in again as Sephiroth tightly snatched both his hands in one of his own, holding and bracing them up above Cloud’s head. With his free hand, he engaged in his own exploration of Cloud’s aroused body. Sephiroth’s fingertips stroked over his partner’s clothed chest, teasing Cloud’s erect nipples with feather-light brushes that set the younger man’s body on fire.

The moment Sephiroth gently palmed Cloud’s nipple, the youth threw his head back and moaned loudly. That had been what broke the hazy, heady spell, all too soon, much to their loss. Sephiroth abruptly dropped Cloud’s hands, snatched his own limbs away from the blonde, and wasn’t even able to make eye contact.

Sputtering in undiluted confusion, Cloud had wanted to ask what he’d done wrong to be punished in such a harsh way. He was mourning the loss of Sephiroth’s surprisingly talented tongue, the cavern of his hot, wet mouth, the clashing of his teeth as they grazed along his lips, and his rough uniform pressing into his soft skin. The words never came out, and instead, Cloud was reduced to a mess of inelegant, odd wheezing sounds.

Sephiroth took a quick glance at Cloud, eyes widening marginally once caught sight of the swollen lips his junior was sporting from the intensity of their libidinous kisses. When he finally moved away from Cloud, the enamored young man was left leaning against the bookshelf, his eyes still shut. Nearly choking, Cloud coughed, quivering in the aftermath, and Sephiroth threw him a stern look.

Returning to his cold, composed veneer, Sephiroth pushed back a few tendrils of his pale hair, sneering as he grunted, “Do you still think I’m not real? Hmm?” Taking another step back, he spat aggressively, “Was all of that a part of your broken imagination, then?”

Slowly, once Cloud caught his breath, his weary eyes fluttered open, seeing Sephiroth there before himself through a mist. Everything was fogging up, including his mind and heart. All because of one man…

His eyes were on fire as he looked at Sephiroth, his breath heavy and loud. Sephiroth wasn’t faring any better, and that put a tiny smile on Cloud’s exhausted face. To know that someone as strong and well-composed as Sephiroth was crumbling and shaking was…refreshing and so rewarding.

Suddenly, without saying another word, the One Winged Angel turned around and fled the library as if a thousand demons were chasing him, slamming the door on his way out.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud gently touched and tapped his lips as he sat staring out the largest window in the bedroom. Glancing all across the valley and expansive fields surrounding the mansion, his interests lay far beyond this beautiful place and everything it had to offer.

Sephiroth had kissed him. Finally, after what’d seemed like the dance and teasing of a lifetime, they’d kissed. Though uncertain and leery about the taller warrior’s experiences and interest, for Cloud, this counted as his first kiss. Not at all mediocre as the once pessimistic blonde considered all first kisses would go, the one he’d shared with Sephiroth wasn’t one he’d ever forget.

It was through the touching of lips that a more courageous, more intimate act had occurred. Cloud had wanted this from the very first day Sephiroth brought him here, yet when the kiss had happened, he shockingly found himself wondering how and why he’d allowed for such a thing to occur in the first place. This would surely destroy himself, especially. What a deadly, thoughtless thing to wish for…

Long arms suddenly wove around his frame, and Cloud had been pulled away from the large window. As he glanced at the shiny glass, however, he saw Sephiroth watching him with an apologetic expression heavy in his face.

Spinning himself around, without even offering a word to his taller bond-mate, Cloud reached up on his toes, and he planted his lips over Sephiroth’s chastely. The One Winged Angel made no move to deepen the kiss. His arms hung limply at his sides, and he watched through half-open eyelids as Cloud inched even closer to him. Their reflections appeared almost phantom-like in the glass, mirroring their intimate motions.

Finally, Cloud needed air so badly that he had to withdraw. They were both so involved that he’d expected to have to fight his way free. However, the instant he gave that nonverbal request for space, Sephiroth’s mouth obliged him by letting go.

“Are you alright?” Sephiroth eventually murmured.

Emboldened by the warmth of those rich, emerald eyes, Cloud reached up to stroke through his bond-mate’s hair. It was so smooth, soft as a baby animal’s fur.

Cloud saw Sephiroth gulp in response to his touch, an uncharacteristic air of trepidation entering his senior’s attitude. Mesmerized, Sephiroth was watching him with that anxious, vulnerable quality again, everything in his expression seeming to say that it wouldn’t take much for Cloud to wound him, deeply.

It was all too much. The kiss, that look...the bond…

“Can we sit down?” Cloud suggested, the wobbly condition of his legs informing himself that he wouldn’t be vertical much longer otherwise. Reading the uncertainty in those normally confident features, he slid his left hand slowly down Sephiroth’s arm to loosely grasp his bond-mate’s hand.

“To answer your question, I am more ‘alright’ than I have ever been in my entire life, Sephiroth.”

Smiling almost weakly, though with an ounce of a happily carefree emotion, Sephiroth purred, “Really?”

Sephiroth’s smile was so bashful, so delightfully gaminesque and boyish that it bypassed all his defenses. All the ardent blonde could do was offer a smaller, bemused version of it and nod.

“Really.” Studying Sephiroth in all his reverent pride, Cloud had to question a few things. How was this subrident man who’d served as his greatest enemy doing this to him? To his heart?

His reply appeared to be sufficient for Sephiroth, however.

Hands sought out hands all too quickly. Fingers twined with his own, the action startlingly lacking self-consciousness, as though it were the most natural thing in the world for them to hold hands this way.

Eyes never leaving Cloud’s, Sephiroth whispered ravenously, “Would you prefer the couch...or the bedroom?”

Reading the cause of the hesitation behind the latter suggestion, Cloud froze for a moment. He’d very much like to visit Sephiroth’s bedroom, but to do so at this point would be too firm a statement of intent. After everything they’d tried and experimented, Cloud knew that he was only surviving this from moment to moment. But how to explain that without causing offense?

To his astonishment, Sephiroth removed the necessity of doing so. Seeming to read his very thoughts without much of an effort, he offered, “Perhaps the couch, for now?”

“I...yeah, the couch, thank you. I’m sorry to be so...”

“Awkward?” Sephiroth finished for him, yet again proving to Cloud that he was just as capable of empathizing with the flustered, younger male.

Not wanting Sephiroth to know he was correct in his assertions, Cloud fumbled for a suitable adjective to describe his current condition and came up blank. So, what? Bumbling? Inept? Embarrassingly tainted by inexperience? Cloud hadn’t a clue as to what type of excuse he could use and still retain any shred of dignity.

All too gently, Sephiroth’s hand tenderly came to rest on his chin, tilting Cloud’s head towards himself. In a careful move, Sephiroth’s mouth moved in to silence his apology with a brief kiss, the tenderness of which left Cloud’s senses swimming. This was becoming too much of a regular thing, kissing. Cloud wasn’t sure when they’d both grown so accustomed to it and had become comfortable with repeating the act, but it seemed to now be a greater part of how they communicated, how they greeted one another, and how they would fill in the long silence drawn out between themselves when words couldn’t be spoken.

The long, white stretch of Sephiroth’s throat beckoned to him like a campfire in a dark, forest night. The skin there was so soft, so gut-wrenchingly vulnerable. Cloud took his time gently touching it, and in turn, Sephiroth turned his lips and attention to Cloud’s neck. Sensually, he took up a pattern; kissing, sucking and nibbling. There was a spot right behind and below Cloud’s left ear that seemed to drive his composure up the walls and wild when Sephiroth lapped at it.

Cloud supposed that it only stood to reason that all people, regardless of their gender and preferences, would be especially sensitive around the neck, but the way Sephiroth’s mouth sucked and left lingering nips there was infuriating, to say the least. The moan Cloud released sounded overwhelmed, even though Sephiroth’s careful nuzzling was more than he could stand. Sephiroth wandered along the column of his neck, licking over the milk-white perfection there, tasting the sweet skin oils as he made his way lower.

Touching Sephiroth’s chest in turn, Cloud found he enjoyed how Sephiroth felt against his touch. The older male was smooth, so well formed. Slender, yet leanly muscled; a warrior’s body, for all that it wasn’t the form of a man who’d worn much battle armor. The shoulders were especially developed, which only stood to reason for so fine a swordsman. Hissing as his mind worked into overdrive, Cloud spent a long time touching Sephiroth, while the older warrior began desperately nipping the cool curves of Cloud’s chest before following the collarbone down.

Cradling Sephiroth closer, Cloud shifted himself beneath the larger male, but when he turned his head to generously shower Sephiroth’s skin in kisses, long, silver hair draped over his face. The strands tickled his nose, and Cloud nearly sneezed awkwardly as he tried fighting through the thick forest of long hair.

Sputtering as he drew back for air, Cloud scowled at Sephiroth. The older male raised an inquisitive brow, and Cloud awkwardly blushed as he shrugged through his fumbling.

“What’s wrong?” Sephiroth didn’t seem too upset, but he was definitely not overly pleased with the interruption.

Brushing his nostrils free of any hair, Cloud’s eyes watered as he fought back another sneeze. Rubbing his nose roughly, he complained, “Don’t you ever get tired of your hair? Just curious…”

Sephiroth paused before he threw out, “No. Why do you inquire?”

Rolling his eyes, Cloud bemoaned waspishly, “Might wanna think of cutting it like a few inches in the near fu—ouuuuch!” Reeling back in shock and small bouts of pain, Cloud touched his neck when Sephiroth had swooped in faster than a cobra and bitten him a tad harshly.

Seething and fuming, Cloud pressed his fingers into the aching, burning flesh as he snapped angrily, “The heck was that for?! I was just suggesting that you—heeeyy! Oww!” Once more, Sephiroth buried his face into Cloud’s neck, teeth sinking into the youth’s flesh as a mild warning.

Trying to shove him off, Cloud whined childishly, “Okay, okay, okay! I’ll shut up, now!”

Lips met lips when Sephiroth was through with biting, and their mouths were at the mercy of each other. It’d been rapturous and a swooning sensation of insurmountable pleasure Cloud had been intending to lose himself to, when he felt Sephiroth’s fingers moving along the insides of his thighs and dangerously close to his cock.

Cloud drowned in the sweet depths of their deep kiss until it became impossible to fight again. He knew that the way they were going was problematic. Feeling that same overwhelming, dizzying emotion swirling through himself, Cloud gave a weak push against his senior’s chest, needing to clear his head before he was swept away by the flood-tide of pleasure.

When Sephiroth reluctantly pulled back, he softly stated, “My apologies. I got carried away again, but...I never thought to have you here at all, Cloud, not like this. Whatever we do, or don’t do, that is for you to decide. I’m not going to risk everything by rushing you.”

And, somehow, those words gave Cloud the courage to be more open with his partner. Releasing Sephiroth’s hand, he took a seat on the corner of the couch amidst the pile of throw pillows. Picking one up as the older male curled by his side, he studied its bright green and blue pattern as he admitted, “I just feel that as good as all this is, it has to stop so I can…so I can…”

So he could what?

As they both understood it, their positions still remained at odds with one another. Everything regarding their past, their history, and their relationship as everyone else defined them by it, totally ran counter to this will. It destroyed Cloud when he thought of it in such harsh terms, but things couldn’t continue on this way. It was impossible.

Ruefully, he whispered, “We have to do something about this, Sephiroth. This is—”

Sitting up, the older male cut in with, “Why? What is going on here that is so wrong?” Glancing down at their conjoined hands, he softly commented, “Is it wrong to have someone here that my touch means something to? Someone who knows me, and all my weaknesses, and is still brave enough to trust me, despite all that? You don’t bore or frustrate me, Cloud.” Rubbing and caressing the back of the younger male’s hand with his own, he sincerely elucidated, “You...astound me. I don’t know that I could trust myself, if I were you, but what else must I do to prove to you that things _have_ changed?”

Feeling his heart and brain lighting on fire as a war ensued between them both, Cloud paused a moment to carefully choose his words, then offered, “I think that we are both...treading dangerous ground, here. We _both_ can’t just erase everything overnight, Sephiroth. You know that, and I know it, too.”

In truth, as much as he didn’t want to recall his tragic, traumatic memories, this was _still_ the man who’d killed so many innocent people including those whom Cloud cherished and loved the most.

With an air of regret wafting about himself, Sephiroth’s posture slacked against Cloud’s, though he was careful not to lean on his young bond-mate. Pale hair falling over blonde, Sephiroth gently lay his right cheek over Cloud’s forehead as they nestled closer together.

Eyes snapping shut as he swam through the warm comfort of another pressure over himself, Cloud softly cooed, “I just...can’t believe you’d feel these things for me, while you...” Cloud couldn’t complete that statement, especially now that Sephiroth knew he wanted him. To Cloud, it seemed that all the power had been placed in his bond-mate’s hands with that single admission.

Was Sephiroth correct? Had things changed?

Stroking his cheek smoothly, Sephiroth’s deep voice rumbled out, reverberating through Cloud’s bones. “I sense your fears, Cloud, believe me, I do.” Tilting Cloud’s head up so their eyes met, Sephiroth smiled before continuing. “The last thing I want to do is have you wake up tomorrow and find that you hate me for seducing you.”

Blushing, Cloud groused, “Nah, I think the far more probable scenario is that sooner or later, you’ll become bored with me and move on.”

Yet again, Cloud knew he’d not only spoken out of turn and uttered something insipid, but he’d done so quite impulsively.

It didn’t make much sense. What would Sephiroth find boring? Bored of what? The games? The conspiring?

Eyebrows rising before they fell in a stern line, Sephiroth gasped, “Bored with you? Who could tire of the infamous Cloud Strife’s charms?”

The way that sounded coming from Sephiroth was too playful and carefree. Cloud couldn’t help but laugh at the absurd notion. He could no more imagine voluntarily quitting Sephiroth than he could giving up eating. A more rational part of himself worried that he was taking a huge risk, and that he would gravely have to pay for it at some point, but he was beyond caring about the ramifications when Sephiroth leaned in so closely that their noses rubbed.

“Come here.”

He wouldn’t even grow weary of the way Sephiroth toyed with and teased at his lower lip. Drawing it slowly and slightly into his mouth, the older male would sensually graze his front row of teeth along the shape and length of it, first. As Cloud responded in a throaty, lewd moan, Sephiroth would pull away, but only for a moment. Warm breath ghosting along the seam of his lips wasn’t enough; Sephiroth would dip back in, sucking and pulling Cloud’s lower lip into his mouth, then.

Tongue lapping at the warm flesh, Sephiroth’s kisses would alternate between ‘butterfly’ light taps, and deeper, more sexually charged biting and nibbling. It seemed that he was making love to Cloud’s mouth in the same way he had with his body; his tongue pushing and pressing in and out, in and out, the rhythm sometimes matching the way his strong hips urgently gyrated against Cloud’s.

Cloud never wanted for the kisses to end. Sephiroth would extend them, only releasing Cloud’s lips to tease him with a soft, audible ‘pop’ before lapping at the swollen flesh again. A gentle tapping of the tongue enchanted Cloud before Sephiroth forced his way in. Cloud never struggled beyond that point; Sephiroth felt so damn good, and there was no way to deny it. He kissed like a possessive, domineering lover, guiding and teaching even in intimacy.

Pushing and tilting Cloud’s head and neck softly, he then slanted their mouths properly together, drawing out a loud, hungry moan from Cloud before he greedily swallowed it up. Fingers lingered in Cloud’s hair, scraping along his scalp before massaging the roots. Pressing down on Cloud’s warm skull, Sephiroth would continue sucking, nibbling, and trailing his lips and tongue from the corners of his young bond-mate’s mouth, all the way to the long pallor of his neck.

Every bit of anger Cloud had once reserved for the One Winged Angel became latescent when such gentle, passionate gestures steadfastly caused swooning for himself.

Sephiroth broke the kiss as he rasped, “I speak only the truth, Cloud. I could never grow bored with you, nor do I mean you any harm.”

As he studied the older warrior carefully for any signs of deception, Cloud wasn’t able to locate any. Sephiroth’s serious expression did not change. No shock. No repulsion. Perhaps his brows had furrowed slightly, but that often occurred whenever he was concentrating or even fighting, as Cloud remembered.

Then, with preternatural speed, Sephiroth’s hand was at the back of Cloud’s neck too suddenly. Swiftly, their lips were pressed together again, but this time, more than the soft skin, the aftershave, there was pliant wetness. Assertive, but not aggressive, available but not wanton. An invitation to take.

The simple explanation seemed to completely disarm Cloud’s remaining doubts. For a long time, Sephiroth stared down at Cloud’s flushed face, as if memorizing every feature. Greedily, he leaned in to steal another kiss. It started out violent and possessive, though only at first. Teeth, tongues, gnawing, just as Cloud always knew Sephiroth’s kisses to be. Then, without any explanation, he appeared to almost melt into a gentler kiss.

The moment Sephiroth nibbled at his lower lip, Cloud immediately opened his mouth to the ardent tongue that tickled his lips. Things began to escalate. Sephiroth’s hands gripped his shoulders, pushing Cloud to lie back on the couch as the older male sagged on top of him. Sephiroth was a warm, hard weight pressing down on his frame, and Cloud felt how natural and perfect it was.

In the past, whenever he’d looked at Tifa in a particularly wanton way, though he’d never lain with anyone in his life, being with someone this heavy and hard muscled somehow worked well enough to feel breathtaking, by comparison. It felt so right and so wonderful, that all he could do was lie there in pleasure, his hands running over that broad, powerful back as Sephiroth nudged his legs apart with a strong, insistent knee.

When Sephiroth’s kneecap touched his nascent erection, Cloud withdrew for air abruptly. Shyly, then, he blinked up at his concerned lover’s face. The glow of the evening twilight was flickering in golden-orange bursts across Sephiroth’s handsome features, giving the slightly sweaty skin a burnished cast.

The soft lighting did wonders for the already lethally attractive, top ex-SOLDIER. Cloud had never seen anything so sensual in his entire life. He grew harder from just looking at Sephiroth with the firelight dancing across his appealing visage. This was so much like one of Cloud’s shameful late-night fantasies that it seemed positively surreal.

“Dear gods above,” Sephiroth surprised him by gasping.

“Mmm? What?” Cloud roused himself enough to ask, as inelegantly as it sounded.

“You probably won’t want to hear it,” his normally phlegmatic senior warned, charmingly self-conscious in the moment.

“Hear what?” Cloud turned his head to press a kiss onto the warm palm that was cupping his face. His tongue tip poked out to sample the moisture there. He was so far gone that he even found the salty-metallic flavor of Sephiroth’s sweat arousing.

Burying his nose in the mess of Cloud’s hair, Sephiroth growled, “How...incredible you look. The twilight’s as smitten with you as I am. It’s turned you to living gold, Cloud.”

Though Cloud knew that he should’ve been wary, and though he knew that honeyed flattery flowed from Sephiroth’s sharp tongue as freely as water down the raging falls of Wutai’s rivers, the words warmed him deep inside.

Gingerly touching his way along Sephiroth’s sharp profile, Cloud asked in utter seriousness, “And are you saying that you’re... _smitten_ with me, Sephiroth?”

Picking up on the puzzling near-fear as well as anticipation of the answer, Cloud stroked Sephiroth’s smooth hair in a calming rhythm. Closing his eyes tightly, his older bond-mate pressed his cheek against Cloud’s chest, burying his nose in his black sweater as his arms tightened spasmodically around him.

Startled, Cloud returned the hug. Not understanding its cause, he rubbed Sephiroth’s broad back and kissed the top of his lover’s head as Sephiroth all but clung to him. There was a certain level of desperation to Sephiroth that unsettled him, but rather than leaping ahead to conclusions based on emotional, immature whims, Cloud vowed to be patient.

“And what if I am?” Sephiroth whispered after a while.

There was the answer. It was all Cloud needed to hear in order to make his final decision. Push had come to shove, but in a delightfully bitter-sweet, fleeting way. Now, he knew they would both be able to move forward; nothing would be held back, except for whatever they vowed to share tonight.

Thinking on it for a moment, Cloud’s heart welled up with heavy sadness as he nestled his head beneath Sephiroth’s chin. Eyes closing as he steeled himself for the worst, he inhaled and held onto his breath before he inquired in one go, “May I go for a shower real quick?”

Gaping at him, Sephiroth half-chuckled as he asked in bewilderment, “Why?” Sniffing at Cloud a bit playfully, he paused before he threw out rationally in a light-hearted manner, “You are quite clean and fresh, Cloud…too delectable, if you’re seeking my opinion.”

Pushing himself away from Sephiroth, Cloud ensured he maintained the older male’s warm, empathetic gaze so he wouldn’t offend his bond-mate. The words never came through, for Cloud hadn’t ever been in a position such as this.

They didn’t need to speak to each other. When Cloud gazed at Sephiroth in a knowing way, the deeper messages which were unspoken were still grasped and comprehended effortlessly. The method of communication through silent gestures, faint caressing, as well as fleeting glances was more than plenty to send the message across loud and clear.

Nodding at him, then, Sephiroth waited patiently, eyes following Cloud’s form until he’d exited the room.


	30. The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *HUGE WARNING! GRAPHIC SEX!!*

Cloud remained nervous and terrified from the time he showered and properly prepared himself, right up until he found Sephiroth in the same drawing room earlier. Unsure of why he’d bothered dressing again, there was at least some sort of relief when Cloud stood before Sephiroth.

The older male greeted him with a friendly smile, pushing his long, pale hair out of his face. Sephiroth seemed to admire how Cloud’s blonde hair was plastered over the smooth skin of his cheeks, but he remained silent for a moment. There no longer happened to be vacuity nor fabrication in those vagarish eyes as Sephiroth studied Cloud from head to toe.

Cloud blushed once he felt as though the warrior’s mysterious eyes that were once fueled by anger now were fueled by lust. They were drinking in every inch of exposed skin that was visible while simultaneously voicing every prurient act Sephiroth wanted to engage in with the youth. Once through with his own examination, Sephiroth’s eyes worked their way back up to Cloud’s face, and he involuntarily licked his lips.

Never breaking the heady gaze that stunned them both, Sephiroth growled dominantly, “Bed?”

After a shy nod, Cloud just stared at the muscular chest of his companion as he moved closer to him. His eyes darted to seeming almost bashful now that it came to his own unveiling. Hauling the youth against his chest, once they were pressed together, Cloud could feel the raw desire and heat throbbing from Sephiroth’s front right into his hip. It was a lambent touch, wistful as the aerial fondling of the breeze.

Though the air was quite siccaneous due to Cloud’s tense nerves, he felt there was no greater opportunity than now. Sephiroth wasn’t demanding or pushing; he was just waiting, and it was soothing to have this.

Cloud peeked down at the strong arms that encaged himself, and he knew there existed no words that could stream from his lips that would satisfy the urgency with which Sephiroth was holding him. As stubborn and strong headed as Cloud was, he’d met his perfect match.

Time was a blur as they abandoned the room and half-ran-half-flew up the steps. Any bedroom would do, it seemed, and in the blink of an eye, the familiar walls of Cloud’s room greeted the adolescent’s hazy eyes.

Before they crashed to the sweetly beckoning mattress and sheets, Sephiroth demanded almost hungrily, “Are you sure you want to do this, Cloud?”

Face as red as could be for any human, Cloud nodded as he wheezed, “Yes, I’m sure, Sephiroth.”

This was all they had before they parted, and Cloud was willing to push on through. Now, he was finally morphing from a young boy to a man. Maybe the bond had no effect on this decision, but this was acceptable.

Again, Cloud panted with clamancy, “I want you too, Sephiroth.”

And with those urgent words uttered freely, a starved Sephiroth took his mouth again, as well as his heart. Cloud responded eagerly, knowing he couldn’t have held back even if he’d wanted to.

A small moan of surrender escaped Cloud’s reddened lips as Sephiroth’s full weight blanketed him again. The exclamation of sheer rapture was absorbed into the earth-shaking kiss. As Sephiroth’s tongue entered his mouth, Cloud’s hands restlessly roamed the taller male’s broad back, as if searching for a last finger-hold to keep himself from plummeting over that chasm that they were both so afraid of. It was useless, Cloud realized, for he was already gone, spiraling endlessly down to his destruction.

But as promised, Sephiroth didn’t abandon him there alone. His partner went gushing over that edge with him. Sephiroth clung as if for dear life to Cloud’s smaller frame as the passion they were unleashing between themselves flooded their systems.

Their bodies automatically found the bed, and they gently fell onto the soft, thick mattress. They first lay before one another on their sides, but the need to connect and become one soon dominated everything else. Cloud crawled on top of Sephiroth, barely managing to gently nibble on the older male’s lips, when he was rolled down onto his back. With Sephiroth hovering over him, Cloud was inundated with an aching tenderness; a tingling need for touch that left himself weak, barely able to function.

For all the glorious, sensational experiences they’d shared together so far, Cloud was relieved to see that his partner seemed as equally affected. Finally, Sephiroth’s face was flushed, his gaze heated and barely focused, his body trembling as Cloud took over again. Strongly shoving Sephiroth onto his back, Cloud took his time and worshipped him with mouth and hands. The moist fall of Sephiroth’s breath on his sensitive neck was causing shivers that threatened to shake Cloud apart.

“More...please?” the normally articulate Cloud begged as his hands gripped the bottom of Sephiroth’s pauldrons. Too many damn clothes in the way…

To the overwhelmed youth’s surprise, Sephiroth leapt up and gripped him in between his thighs. Again, Sephiroth established where he wanted and needed for Cloud to be. Impatience bled over as Cloud waited for his senior’s nod of assent before pulling the straps and belt from his trousers.

Once permission was given, Sephiroth ferociously stripped both the gloves as well as the sweater from Cloud’s aroused body in one smooth move.

As Sephiroth’s right hand tossed the garments over the bed and carelessly scattered them to the floor, Cloud saw something shining into his retinas. Gasping in shock, he found that midway through working his own gloves off his limbs, Sephiroth kept the bracelet he’d been gifted with on.

Inclining himself up, Cloud started to sputter in awe, but then Sephiroth’s left hand captured both his small wrists and held them pinned to the middle of the mattress behind his head. The quiver that squiggled through his stomach ran over the length of Cloud’s body as those hungry, green eyes surveyed his bare chest.

Was this _really_ a wise choice? Cloud had to pause and wonder when fresh air flowed through his flaring nostrils. Brain half-alert and sharply tuned to the tug and pull between what his biology and sexuality wanted, Cloud had to consider the fundamental fact that this was the very _first_ time he was going to be intimate with someone, and it was with a _man_ …with _Sephiroth._

…But it felt _natural._ He wasn’t able to deny that it felt perfect, especially when Sephiroth’s concupiscent eyes roved over his taut, flat stomach and espied his dark pants already midway down the length of his thighs.

In his insecurity, Cloud had always considered himself pitifully ‘unmanly’ there, especially since his body was still riddled with fine, soft babyish hair. He’d always made it a strong point and good effort not to allow others to see his flesh, but there was no mistaking Sephiroth’s exceedingly fond pleasure with the naked, hairless skin revealed.

His hand still binding both of Cloud’s above the pillow, Sephiroth lowered his head to rub his cheek from one flat breast to the other, then back again. On his next sweep back, Sephiroth’s tongue peeked out to lick a pink bud of nipple, instantly transforming the flesh into a tight, peaked pebble. As Sephiroth sucked at it wantonly and shamelessly, Cloud’s feverish body twitched with desire, bucking helplessly up at his partner when tiny sparks of pleasure uncoiled into roiling waves of flame within himself.

It was too much. He’d never felt anything like this before. He had no control over it; rather, the feeling owned him; before long, he’d be sobbing over the intensity of having Sephiroth’s licentious mouth all over his chest. Cloud knew that he couldn’t survive so much as another second of it and remain the same person he’d been when he walked in the bedroom tonight.

A fuzzy feeling spanned in his skull, and as he threw his head back and tried to bury the shameful, raucous noises he’d been creating, Sephiroth gently cooed to him in a soothing manner.

_‘I want to hear you, Cloud; your voice arouses me greatly.’_

Whining and blushing, Cloud channeled back, _‘Don’t lick my chest like that!’_

_‘Why?’_

Sheepishly, he sobbed mentally, _‘I’m not a woman!’_

Lapping away at Cloud’s perky nipple while fondling the opposite one, Sephiroth chuckled in elation. _‘Men can find this enjoyable too, you know. Isn’t your body responding nicely as it is?’_

He needed some breathing room again. His hands tugged for freedom, needing to push away and reestablish his calm center, but Sephiroth held onto his hands tightly this time. Punishing Cloud’s struggle, he gently bit at one nipple before blowing cold air on it.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth hoarsely whispered, eyes gleaming at the highly aroused blonde with far too much seduction and desire that it nearly caused for Cloud to faint.

His normally ascetic self-destroyed, Cloud was so far lost in feeling that he was only vaguely aware of his partner undoing his own buckles and straps. Fingers grazing his underwear and pulling them down to his toes, Cloud trembled as he studied every inch of his own white flesh open before his burning gaze. Where his own boots and socks had gone to was a complete mystery, for he had absolutely no recollection of losing them. All he did know was that he was suddenly completely naked before his fully dressed companion, and he didn’t care, not one bit.

Sephiroth’s serious eyes fed on him for a long moment. Once, such close observation, when combined with the fact that Sephiroth was still clothed, would have been enough to send Cloud scurrying for physical and emotional cover. But right now, all he wanted was to be touched. He didn’t care where or how.

The exasperated youth was completely cognizant of his own vulnerability. He knew that he was lying there stark naked with his hands bound above his head, a veritable plaything to the other man’s whimsies. Incredibly, it didn’t matter to himself in the least. His pride, his dignity, all were forfeit, totally unimportant. Either way, this was all they had, and Cloud wasn’t willing to cease, now.

“You are mine and I _will_ have you, _now,_ ” Sephiroth growled as he turned Cloud onto his side, exposing his rear before he slid his hard cock between Cloud’s buttocks. Cloud let out a throaty moan once he felt Sephiroth’s cock jutting up against the seam of his pants poking him right in the most private place.

Sephiroth finally undressed himself completely, peeling his trench coat and uniform pants from his body at the very last minute. Hands released, Cloud rolled over to get a good eyeful, and he wasn’t disappointed. Sephiroth undressing was a magnificent sight to behold. As muscular and strong as Sephiroth had felt fully clothed, now, with nothing left to the imagination, Cloud felt his mouth watering. Sephiroth’s body was like a god’s. Not a trace of imperfection lingered anywhere. The man wasn’t troubled by scars, marks, or any other irregularity. He was absolutely perfect in every way.

Needing and wanting to touch Sephiroth, Cloud amused himself immediately. Sephiroth allowed him to do so, watching him with a soft smile as he explored. Targeting Sephiroth’s collarbone, first, Cloud gingerly touched the entire length of bone from right to left. Inhaling sharply, his eyes fell to Sephiroth’s toned abs, next. Feasting his sights there, Cloud mapped out just how strong and well-built the older warrior was. The muscles were rigid and thick, and Cloud couldn’t wait to feel Sephiroth pressing down on his frame. Sliding his hands down his lover’s arms, Cloud’s fingers stopped all the way right when he felt the marble bracelet. Truly, he was proud that his lover was openly wearing it. To feel the coldness of the marbles contrasting with Sephiroth’s heated flesh was to die for.

With Cloud on his back and Sephiroth glancing down at him, the position was perfect for both men as they studied each other in the bright, evening sunlight. The natural illumination was perfect. Sephiroth appeared to be mesmerized with Cloud’s eyes and hair.

Smiling from ear to ear, he pleasantly orated, “If there is such a thing as heaven, Cloud, I’m certain you were created there.”

Blushing, Cloud coughed as he sputtered out, “Th-that’s…umm, not t-true, Sephiroth! Don’t s-say weird shit!”

“But it’s true,” Sephiroth insisted with a grin. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, Cloud; your silky white skin and those mako colored eyes are akin to looking at the sky when you stare into them…” Leaning over Cloud, now, he ignored as the younger male whined and tried pushing his underwear off.

Curling a few fingers in the blonde locks hanging over Cloud’s temples, Sephiroth sighed ecstatically, “And your hair, Cloud…running my fingers through it feels like touching the rays of the sun.” Nuzzling his face into Cloud’s hair, almost feral, he swooped down to capture Cloud’s lips in another deep, intimate kiss.

Toes curling and fingers clawing at the sheets, Cloud felt his heart on the brink of imploding. Before he erupted, he reluctantly broke the kiss as he cried in desperation, “O-okay! Enough with th-the romantic c-crap!” Glaring down at Sephiroth’s underwear, he cursed the silver-haired menace for always making things too difficult.

Moving back, Sephiroth dug through the fancy drawers of the old table next to the bed. Without needing to search, he conjured a jar of what Cloud supposed was gel or oil. It glistened in its bottle, and Sephiroth lazily popped the cap open.

Cloud shivered upon hearing that sound, and while Sephiroth coated a single finger liberally in the substance, the youth’s eyes wandered over across the bed. With an undignified shriek, Cloud sat up on the bed as he pointed at the two large mirrors across the bed on the wall.

“Sephiroth! What the?!”

Noticing where he was pointing, Sephiroth hushed him as he chuckled, having an unemotional and stolidly calm disposition despite what was going on. “Ignore it, if you wish, Cloud.”

Cloud had wanted to start throwing a whole mess of tetchy curse words his bond-mate’s way, but he’d been rudely interrupted when Sephiroth nudged his side. Sliding in between those tight cheeks, with his opposite hand, Sephiroth pulled them apart. His eyes fastened on the treasure that they hid, but Sephiroth was patient. He stroked Cloud’s erection a few times, trying to aid in distracting the blonde when he glared at their reflections in the mirrors.

Trembling, Cloud felt his mind focusing on the sensations Sephiroth was openly sharing with him, now. Sephiroth wasn’t shy about the fact that he was going to receive immense pleasure when he plunged deep inside that tight, silky heat. With his other hand, he kept his lover open for himself, and Cloud pressed his eyes closed. 

Shivering, he knew they’d soon be moving things to a different level. However, no amount of worry could compete with the fire burning in his loins. Faced with that ravaging lust, there was really no choice...or any turning back. For better or worse, he was committed to this course, and determined to go the distance.

The sound of slick wetness hit his ears, and Cloud gasped for air. When had he even been holding his breath?!

“Cloud,” Sephiroth’s calming voice soothed him as he finally rolled down his own dark underwear and pushed it to the carpeted floor. “I’m going to prepare you, and I need for you to relax as much as you can.” With that announced, Sephiroth’s fingers returned to the cleft between Cloud’s cheeks. Blindly finding his objective, he circled the tight ring, pushing through its center and spreading the gel.

Shrieking, Cloud tightened up as he roared, “It’s cold!!” Shit, they were really doing this, and the damn mirrors were—no, he couldn’t think of that!

Sephiroth’s finger spread more and more of the smooth gel, and Cloud closed his legs almost painfully around him, crying out in shocked surprise.

Rather than lecturing him, however, Sephiroth’s hand stilled. He waited for the initial reaction to let up, then pressed relentlessly forward, piercing that tight tunnel for the very first time. The gel came along with it, and Sephiroth went back to the bottle for more at least twice.

When his finger circled Cloud’s hole clockwise, Cloud realized this form of sex wasn’t at all like he’d thought it would be. If Cloud had considered this act at all in the past, it had always been with great repugnance. Having another man’s fingers inside his body just wasn’t something the slightly prudish Cloud Strife could get too excited about. The reality of the experience, like most realities, was drastically different from his expectations. Nothing could have prepared him for the dark eroticism of the act, and as Sephiroth slid in deeper and deeper, Cloud was horrified upon realizing that he wanted something larger, longer, and thicker deeply embedded within his body.

Resting his cheek against the incredible smoothness of his lover’s neck, Cloud closed his eyes, concentrating every iota of his being upon the feeling of his tight channel gripping every inch of the intruding finger.

Taking his time sliding in and out almost at a languid pace, Sephiroth’s always active imagination couldn’t help but extrapolate on how the virginal, tight tunnel would feel around his cock. Cloud was even more embarrassed to hear that thought echoing from Sephiroth’s mind to his own, and he buried his face behind a pillow.

Frowning, Sephiroth’s other hand gently pried the pillow from Cloud’s grip. “Stop hiding, Cloud; you’re absolutely stunning to look at, so don’t you dare hide from my sight.” His penetrating fingertip, now deeply inside his junior partner, encountered something that felt slightly different than the slick wall of the channel. This was rounder, sort of protrusive. Pressing experimentally against it brought a cry of the sheerest delight from Cloud’s pink lips.

Seeing stars, the sun, the moon, and all of Gaia at once, Cloud’s hips pushed down on Sephiroth’s finger instinctively. “Oooh! Wh-what’s th-that?!?”

“Hmm? This, you say?” Sephiroth chuckled in amusement, already figuring out what he must have hit as he aimed for that spot yet again.

Bucking and arching up, Cloud’s extraordinarily propitious reaction made Sephiroth’s motions courageous enough to increase. Already, he’d slicked two fingers, now, and before Cloud was able to mourn the loss, Sephiroth was once again targeting the right places. The sensation was simply out of this world, Cloud decided. Panting as though he’d been chased for minutes on end, the ecstasy enrapturing his face made Cloud look like he’d died and gone to heaven. All with one single, indelicate touch.

Crying softly, the tears blurred his vision as he gaped up at Sephiroth. “More…”

Sephiroth obediently probed again, achieving a similar response...and still Cloud begged for more.

Shaking his head, Sephiroth intoned, “I won’t go beyond two fingers right now; you’ll get yourself hurt.”

Cloud uneasily considered these words. His body was already craving for more, and the gel had long since evaporated. In his opinion, Sephiroth was being a total tease by withdrawing one finger and massaging him only with one, again. That single finger was pushing the limit so far as penetration without a lubricant went.

Whining, Cloud petulantly griped, “I n-need—”

“You don’t,” Sephiroth incessantly hissed, aiming to be limpid. “You’re already going to be sore from the abrasion. Two fingers, even with proper care and lubricant might do damage.” The stolid, former top SOLDIER added didactically and sensibly, “You’re too new to this, Cloud. I...don’t want to hurt you.” He swallowed, ashamed by just how eager he was to continue, lubricant be damned.

Reeling, Cloud nearly sank into the mattress. Gaia, Sephiroth knew how great this was, yet he _still_ didn’t want to hurt him…

Abashedly, Cloud felt his own flesh sucking Sephiroth’s digit in. Panting in curtailed need, Cloud encouraged Sephiroth to finally work two fingers inside. Sephiroth paid close attention, pleasuring that secret ecstasy button, scissoring his fingers back and forth to accustom his smaller partner to his presence.

“Ugh! More!” Cloud interrupted at last, his tone strangely accusative.

“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?” A dazed Sephiroth blinked down at the ravaged face glowering up at him. Regaled as he was, he kept his motions controlled and steady.

Seething, Cloud snapped moodily, “You c-can’t just do th-that to me and then mmmfff!”

Faced with that endearing beginning of an argument, Sephiroth finally did what he’d been longing to do for some time. He wrapped his arms around Cloud’s neck, pressed their naked fronts tightly together and deeply kissed his angry partner.

The feeling of all that bare, hot flesh against his own, the forceful press of Sephiroth’s demanding cock against his own erection...it was absolute heaven, and Cloud immediately responding by twirling his tongue around Sephiroth’s as lewdly as he could. His brain soon caught on to the fact that Sephiroth was dipping his tongue in and out of the wet cavern of his mouth, much like the motions his finger made between Cloud’s legs…

Cloud hungrily nipped at the perfect mouth until it seemed that they’d both come simply from the steamy kiss. When the demands of the flesh became too strong to ignore, his hands slid down Sephiroth’s muscular back, over the athletic thighs. It felt so rewarding to now have Sephiroth’s uncovered cock sliding mercifully against his own.

Sephiroth had also moved in the time Cloud had. Achieving a stable grip on the youth’s hips, he lifted his aroused companion up, parting his thighs and immediately situating himself between them. While Cloud grew accustomed to how close they were, Sephiroth incorrigibly contented himself with laying a trail of nuzzling kisses from one pink bud of nipple to the other.

When two fingers weren’t satisfying Cloud anymore, Sephiroth sensed his younger bond-mate was finally ready. Kissing those swollen lips to distract him, Sephiroth liberally coated himself with more slick oil and brought his hard cock up to the quivering entrance.

“Do you feel me here in the deepest part of your body, Cloud?” Sephiroth purred as he buried his face into a curtain of gold, breathing deeply in the lust fueled Cloud’s scent.

Upon feeling Sephiroth’s cock throbbing and growing even thicker against his opening, Cloud groaned. “Do y-you r-really need t-to ask me this?!” He questioned, letting out a surprised yelp when Sephiroth’s hands slid up to separate the cheeks of his rear while they both struggled to balance and work around Cloud’s knobby knees that seemed to be in the way of everything.

Finally, Sephiroth settled the problem by guiding the slim legs around his waist, so that the powerful thighs gripped him like a steel belt. Sephiroth approached his partner’s supple lips once again, timidly welcomed by Cloud as the youth leaned into him and claimed his mouth. Both their tongues intertwined in a long and endless dance, a symbol that they would never grow weary of tasting each other.

Their eyes met, and Cloud felt steam rising off his face. A single nod was all he could muster, and he hoped it would be enough for Sephiroth. Nodding back at him, Sephiroth stroked even more gel onto his own cock, moving away from Cloud so the younger male had quite the perverse show as his eyes remained far too focused on the way Sephiroth’s hand palmed his own flesh. When he no longer wanted Cloud distracted, Sephiroth churlishly snapped him out of it by stroking his cock, too.

When Sephiroth shifted up on his knees, their cocks bumped in the tight press of hips and testes. Fire leapt through them both at that first touch, building in relentless waves of passion. Those dizzying, melting spurts of pleasure raced through Cloud at once, claiming and bearing all he was.

Knowing that this move pleased his partner, Sephiroth stroked their hardened members and aligned them, teasing Cloud to no extent.

Swatting at him, Cloud hissed and kneed him in his side; a rude, but silent plea to hurry. Soothly, Cloud didn’t know how much more he could take as he nearly exploded right then and there upon gazing up at Sephiroth completely naked, long, pale hair flowing down onto the bed and over Cloud’s own body, cock standing rigid and firm.

His lover’s cock seemed to know the way by instinct. It bumped up against that sticky, muscular aperture at the very first thrust. Thinking that he’d been born and lived his entire life only to reach this perfect moment in time, Sephiroth carefully pierced the virgin tight portal. The resistance slowed but didn’t stop him.

At once, Cloud’s initial scream rang through the large room, shocking in its volume. Sephiroth tried to move away immediately, but through tears, Cloud clung to his arms as he yelled out horrendously, “Don’t stop now! You…c-coward!!”

Wincing, Sephiroth wanted to break away again, but Cloud growled at him, leaving him with no other options. “We’ve a-already…ugh…y-you coward!!”

Pressing over him, Sephiroth wiped away his salty tears, kissed his forehead from one side to the other, and showered the rest of Cloud’s face with soothing kisses until the younger male at least ceased writhing in pain. Some steady pumping of the youth’s cock reduced the vise-like grip to a constricting squeeze that was as close to perfect as intercourse could get. Inch by slow, careful inch, Sephiroth sank into his bond-mate as Cloud whispered that he was fine.

The gradual penetration wasn’t half as painful and brutal as the first one. There’d been nothing like it, and Cloud didn’t wish to ponder it. Apparently, for girls, the first time with a man was equally as painful, if not more, but this was also horrific in its own way. They should’ve taken it more slowly, but Sephiroth hadn’t understood that liberty. Not paying much attention to Cloud as he should’ve been, he moved deeper.

But then, beyond the antagonizing pain, when he blinked up at Sephiroth, the shorter male felt something warm and pleasant possessing himself. Mind numb, Cloud inhaled and gave in to whatever the tingling sensation creeping along his spine was. It was more than simple sex; this was connecting and becoming one with a bond-mate.

Experimentally, Cloud shifted his hips, and Sephiroth froze.

“Oh,” he growled in awe as he pushed inch after inch of his engorged cock into that frighteningly tiny aperture.

Though the older male hadn’t moved much, yet, Cloud felt as if he were branding his flesh and soul as his own private property. They’d been challenging and dancing with both sentimentality and the promise of intimacy for so long. Now that they’d accrued both, Cloud would fight Sephiroth on this all the way. But at this moment of utter soul baring and painful intimacy, not even the defiant Cloud Strife would dare refute his claim on Sephiroth’s heart.

Cloud’s heated body was drenched with perspiration, his head thrashing from side to side as he rode the sensations out, his eyes clenched shut, his expression torn and ravaged as he helped hold his weight up by those unseen chains and assisted in his own conquest. Sephiroth was breaching him more, but it was a more spiritual pain; not physical.

Hanging there from those invisible manacles he’d still held onto out of fear, the blonde’s surrender was complete...not even a vestige of pretense remained for Cloud to hide behind, not while he dangled there, the willing recipient of Sephiroth’s raging passions.

Cloud nearly wept at how Sephiroth was careful not to injure in that first, unending entry. Still, slow as he went, he didn’t stop until his pelvis was pressed tightly to the curves of Cloud’s snowy buttocks, his thick cock buried in the deepest recesses of Cloud’s body.

Just like that, in one motion, Cloud knew he’d discarded his purity and innocence, happily trading it for something more meaningful and lifelong.

In the moment of frozen stillness when Sephiroth stilled to savor the incredible sensations, his bright eyes snapped open to stare down into his partner’s face. There was nothing hidden between them anymore. The fear, the discomfort, the heart-wrenching vulnerability...the desire, it was all there for both bond-mates to read in this, the final surrender.

Wanting to encourage Sephiroth to do something, Cloud planted a foot firmly onto the bed. Taking his weight, then, he shunted forth with his hips in a better angle to hopefully ease some of the pain the silver-haired male’s thick cock was still causing him as it didn’t move in the way he wanted. 

Gritting his teeth, Sephiroth slid his cock in and out and of his lover, like a well-oiled piston. Sliding an arm beneath Cloud, he moved him up even higher, hoisting his legs over both his shoulders. With the new position, flesh slapped against those firm buttocks as Sephiroth moved quickly.

Groaning and panting, Sephiroth’s noises became sweet music to Cloud’s ears. With each plunge, he would try to bury himself as deeply as he could. Nothing could compare to the pleasure his lover was giving him, and Cloud only then realized how amazing sex was, and why all his friends raved on and on about it.

_‘The places where he keeps touching me leave my skin hot…as if I’m on fire…’_

Animalistic grunts and moans filled the air as Sephiroth had his way with his lover. Leaning down, he placed several kisses on Cloud’s chest, right above where his heart was located. In time with his thrusting, he fondled Cloud’s arousal, toying with it in the best of ways that sent Cloud’s eyes rolling back into his head. He would never give this up; only death would keep him away from his bond-mate.

Feeling the tingles of his release, Cloud slammed his hips repeatedly into Sephiroth’s hand. In turn, Sephiroth became more aggressive with his thrusting. The sheets became messy and tangled around them as heavy breathing and skin slapping filled the air. Just several more plunges and strokes, and Cloud knew he would be in heaven. 

“You’re mine, Cloud,” Sephiroth growled as he bit down on the juncture between Cloud’s shoulder and his neck a tad too roughly. Cloud was luckily too far gone that he hadn’t noticed the skin breaking slightly. All he could focus on was how Sephiroth seemed to urgently pant out his name with every thrust delivered to his body.

Cloud wasn’t prepared for his body’s reaction. Jolted by an exhilarating burst of excitement, he clung to the long body as it covered his own, forcing Sephiroth even closer. He encircled his partner’s smooth chest, letting his hands roam the toned, hot back until they reached the older warrior’s firm posterior. It was the first time he’d touched his lover here; a bold move. His fingers skimmed the firm mounds, noticing how much cooler the skin seemed there than up near Sephiroth’s shoulders. Yes…softer, too. Cupping both cheeks, Cloud gently squeezed while Sephiroth pumped harder and claimed his lips, sharing the moan in their kiss.

Cloud’s hard flesh that had been trapped between the One Winged Angel’s belly and his own hips seemed to twitch in response. Drenched already, the youth squirmed in the tight hold Sephiroth had on him, moving to fit their bodies properly together.

Their joined hips rocked in a gentle rhythm at first. However, the effect of that steady motion was anything but gentle. It ripped the feeling from them, making each breath a fight, demanding each thrust be harder than the one before, each burst of pleasure sharper than the last. The tempo of the rocking increased to a frantic beat.

Their mouths separated to pant for air that couldn’t be caught. Sephiroth buried his face in the sweaty hollow between Cloud’s neck and shoulder. Leaning forward, Cloud nuzzled Sephiroth’s hair. It curtained him and tickled his skin to mildly annoying levels, but he didn’t care. Scenting Sephiroth’s shampoo combined with his masculine scent, Cloud figured that if he died, he much preferred to do it here; breathing in Sephiroth, feeling that sweet agony.

There was a cry, suddenly. Cloud wasn’t sure who had made such a sound, but his attention was wrenched away by an instant of blackness and insurmountable ecstasy in which he was certain they’d both died.

Slowly, that certainty faded. The roaring in his ears subsided to a steady pounding that he eventually recognized as his heartbeat. Intently, Cloud listened to the sound of their joined gasps for breath, feeling his lover’s heart race where their chests met.

For several minutes, Cloud was entirely bewildered. Sephiroth’s muscles flexed as he groped Cloud’s legs and arms, admiring the Geostigma long enough before he pressed his lips to it. Kissing and licking it softly, when he lay himself over Cloud, the younger male could continuously hear his older bond-mate’s thundering heart beating in his sturdy chest. Straightening himself as he tried reaching out to Sephiroth, Cloud opened his mouth, parted his dry lips, but the words never came. Perhaps they needed to flow through another medium…

Hands reaching out to grab Sephiroth’s arm bearing the marbled bracelet, the single touch caused the older male to glance down at Cloud with intensely dark eyes. Chest and heart tightening and clenching, Cloud felt that this was his moment to say what he’d always been meaning to say to Sephiroth.

Holding onto that tiny thread as it wove its way between their souls and linked them together, Cloud felt something light and feathery caressing his skin. Peeking up shyly at Sephiroth, he found that his wing wasn’t even extended. However, when Sephiroth moved over him, again, that familiar sensation of the smooth feathers tickling him and running over his flesh visited Cloud.

When Sephiroth grunted and began delivering the last of his herculean thrusts, Cloud pushed away from the feathery touches, and he finally broke through to Sephiroth. Skull throbbing and pounding, he ignored every putrid blood vessel in his eyes and brain as he felt himself flying off the precipice of pleasure so new and so rich.

_‘Sephiroth, I think I…no, Sephiroth, I love you.’_

Eyes opening to the fullest extent, Sephiroth’s hips jerked and twitched. Suddenly, as soon as Cloud released all over himself and Sephiroth with a pained cry, a moment stretched by before Sephiroth pushed himself to the hilt inside Cloud. Trembling as Cloud’s fingernails raked his bond-mate’s arms, the satiated youth sighed in relief for only a moment, when he felt something warm pushing its way deeply inside his system. Some of it seeped and dribbled down the cleft between his body, and he paled upon realizing what it was.

“SEPHIROTH! YOU BASTARD!!” As he crawled away, eager to hide his burgeoning shame, Sephiroth glanced down between their bodies.

Repentantly, he winced. “I apologize for that…” Reluctantly, almost, he then withdrew, but swiftly picked Cloud up in his arms before the irate male could snap at him some more.

The moment his sore body hit the sheets, Cloud felt Sephiroth tending to him, massaging and cleaning him while peppering his skin with light kisses. Taking his time with it, he doted on his younger partner, and quite soon, paired along with the feeling of feathers tickling his skin again, Cloud’s anger dissipated. Sleep beckoned him, and as eager as he was to get to rest, he wondered whether Sephiroth had heard his admission of love.

Gently shaking Sephiroth once the larger male lay on his side next to him, Cloud inhaled the scent of his long hair before groaning. “My b-back aches…”

Nodding in understanding and sympathy, Sephiroth draped Cloud’s head over his own chest. Spooning himself next to Cloud, he frowned as he softly inquired, “Earlier, Cloud, you shielded yourself from my thoughts. How did you manage that?”

Oh. That’s what he’d achieved after trying for so hard to get through to his bond-mate? Disappointment ran through Cloud, but his sores and pains demanded higher portions of his attention. They could always discuss this later.

Maybe the time wasn’t even right, but what Cloud found rewarding and mesmerizing was the fact that when he gazed across the room into the mirrors, he saw Sephiroth’s dark wing folded about his form protectively, the feathers sensually caressing his arm bearing the virific Geostigma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously have nothing to say except writing this part was absolutely hot.


	31. Pains of the Misguided Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sex in here, too. Warning!

Sephiroth took Cloud three more times throughout the night, much like a starved man recently recovering after being deprived of something for so long. When Cloud had mildly recovered from the first round of lovemaking, Sephiroth was already awake, staring at his young bond-mate with raw want in his shiny eyes. It was not so recondite and nothing Cloud was able to reject. Called to action, he lunged at Sephiroth passionately without a second’s worth of debate.

Breaking free of the unreal kiss Sephiroth nearly choked him with, Cloud bucked and twisted in the sheets beneath his lover. Instinct insisted that he escape until he could get the pleasure back to a manageable level, but that wasn’t happening; not with that expertly secured weight binding his hands and certainly not with all of Sephiroth’s delicious weight holding him down. He was left with dysbulia and no choice but to experience every aspect of Sephiroth’s foreplay–if such loving torture could be called that. Cloud had experienced pain to this ultimate degree, but never delight. It was mind-boggling, aggravating, and completely transformative.

It started out as the feeling of a slick member throbbing and heating up his own, mostly due to an accidental move on his part to break away from Sephiroth. Hips shifted, and soon, Cloud and Sephiroth’s warm cocks pressed together. Simultaneously, they let out deep, long groans, and from there, Sephiroth introduced Cloud to a new form of sex. Together, they again experienced a delightfully saccharine release, with Sephiroth’s larger hand guiding and showing Cloud how to properly align their members and stroke together in flawless harmony.

His body was feeling things that he’d never dreamed possible. This was no mirage. Every nerve ending, every cell was ablaze with energy, thrumming from those touches that barely touched. It started as a nebulously fluttery, twisting sensation in the pit of his stomach and radiated out to all extremities. His arms and legs were trembling from what Sephiroth was doing to his nipples as their coated erections slid perfectly together. The tiny, near invisible hairs that covered most of his epidermis even seemed to be standing at attention from the caresses. As for his penis...it felt as though it would literally explode off his body, and Sephiroth didn’t even need to enter him again.

When Sephiroth added his tongue to the sensual mix, Cloud nearly jibbed while he reached dioptric meltdown. The talented tip circled each nipple in turn before commencing a lightning fast vibration against it; the way a man might use his tongue to excite a woman’s clitoris, Cloud timidly realized.

Cloud was utterly helpless against the unique sensation. Sephiroth was totally destroying everything he was, melting the ice that had protected him his entire life. There would be no more pretending that he didn’t feel, no more denying the emotions he’d never allowed to exist. As a former SOLDIER, Cloud once repressed all his weaknesses, and he imagined Sephiroth also had done so to a higher and more complex level. It was the only way they all knew and had been trained to live.

Right now, however, he was nothing but a massive ball of emotions, and he sensed Sephiroth was, as well. It was evident in the way his eyes twinkled with happiness and serenity each time he glanced down at his young bond-mate, and through every gentle touch bestowed.

Just when Cloud had grown accustomed to the tantalizing stroking, Sephiroth gripped him firmly by the waist, and strongly, he pivoted them so that he was lying down on his back, and Cloud was placed directly over his own lap. Horrified and beyond embarrassed by the abrupt change in position, Cloud shielded his face and pretended as though he didn’t hear anything when Sephiroth encouraged him to take the lead.

Evidently, Sephiroth wasn’t too keen on doing all the work, but he was ever so patient as he waited for Cloud to get as comfortable as he could. While Cloud appreciated it, he still never looked at Sephiroth while he felt thick flesh sliding and easing its way into his body. Enjoying that he could control the speed, depth, and rhythm as he was on top, Cloud still didn’t feel too glorious knowing that Sephiroth had…a decent enough view from his vantage point.

Apparently, where Cloud felt shameful, Sephiroth felt invigorated and ecstatic. Thrilled enough with the sights before himself, he turned Cloud’s chin and face to peer down at himself, and when Cloud finally acquiesced, what he saw had aided greatly in the arrival of his earliest orgasm. Sephiroth’s long hair fanned out beneath and behind himself on the pillow, and the rest of it fell over his arms and chest. It greatly aroused the younger male in his senior’s arms, and Cloud’s self-control shattered once Sephiroth’s eyes glowed warmly at him in the dark.

This tingling pleasure was devastating every defense he’d ever had, and there wasn’t a single thing Cloud could do to prevent it. All he could do was cry out, his inarticulate moans begging for a mercy that the slick heat of flesh against flesh would never allow as Sephiroth held onto his hips so he could move.

As soon as another orgasm rippled throughout his weak body from Sephiroth’s roaming hands, Cloud turned his face into his lover’s demanding gaze. Kissing his sweaty forehead, Sephiroth gently whispered in the darkness, “Not yet.”

A glance showed Cloud that those dark eyes were watching him with near worship. Taking courage from that, he fought past his habitual reserves and admitted breathlessly, “I’m…dying…”

He saw Sephiroth’s eyes widen in surprise, then, he snapped out of his reverie and leaned up to hungrily kiss his lips again. That was how Cloud had yet again succumbed to another sweet hour or so of sleep.

The second time, Sephiroth gently woke him up by running his fingers through his messy hair, combing it lovingly. Cloud wrapped his arms about the stronger male’s form, and together, as they lay entangled in their own sweaty limbs, Sephiroth slowly collected Cloud and took him for a proper bath.

Initially innocent with their demure demeanor, once their vagarish, wanton eyes wandered and roved over their nude bodies, once again, passion ignited anew. Cloud trembled as he never had in his life, shaking in every limb as though suffering from a raging fever. They hardly managed to get under the water before Sephiroth showered Cloud with such soft kisses that the younger male turned into a puddle of cries and wails befitting a tortured soul.

This was an affliction of sorts, a most bilious fever. The endless kiss, coupled with every tender touch, only fueled the burning flames consuming him. Sephiroth certainly didn’t give him an opportunity to recover, for his hot hands ceaselessly traveled all over Cloud’s bare flesh as their mouths kneaded each other.

When Cloud’s senses were once again swimming, he pulled back for air. Slumped against Sephiroth’s chest and front, Cloud put his truth in his lover. A few gulps and that talented mouth fixed on his body again. Beginning at his neck, Sephiroth sucked and licked his way down his back before moving to the front to lavish it with equal amounts of generous attention.

Mortified by his own reactions, Cloud never knew how it came to be that Sephiroth was wrenching such lewd noises from his mouth, and such horrific, wanton phrases and words spewing from his lips.

It was the most exquisite torture Cloud had ever undergone. Not an inch of his sensitive flesh was missed; his shoulders, his flat breasts, his ribs, concave stomach, and tender lower belly all received the extravagant laving Sephiroth was eagerly gifting him with. He was so excited that he could barely breathe.

This time, Sephiroth made love to him so gently that it was agonizing and pure torture, despite the profound equability of the deed. Cloud thought he’d braced himself to be touched everywhere like this, but it seemed he truly wasn’t prepared. What he forgot was that he was with Sephiroth, and the One Winged Angel was not a normal human being. This master of ecstasy did nothing as expected.

Instead of openly stroking or squeezing him, Sephiroth simply placed his hot palm over Cloud’s moving flesh while Sephiroth’s teeth simultaneously gripped his left nipple. At the exact moment Sephiroth finally squeezed his cock, his teeth cautiously applied pressure to the bud of flesh trapped between them.

The supernova of delight spiraling out from his penis seemed to collide with the sharp pleasure of that almost virose pain shooting from his nipple to land somewhere in the vicinity of his bellybutton. They crashed and roiled together, causing a nerve-melting burst of sensations that washed through every cell in his system. Cloud couldn’t have kept his scream back if both their lives depended upon it. The combined stimulation left him weak, almost insensibly so.

When Sephiroth gently worked inside him after what seemed like ages of worshipping his body and bringing it all back to life, careful not to stretch him too far, Cloud’s reality completely realigned.

Cloud tried to do as nature requested, tried to just go with the flow, but no sooner did Sephiroth’s mouth return to sucking his nipple than those same terrifying sensations went swirling through himself. His body was going crazy at this rate. His breathing was totally erratic; his heart was slamming against the wall of his chest as though it were fighting its way out; and his neural path...the incandescent joy was resonating with every neuron he owned. The blonde could almost feel them melting down one by one. As for what this kaleidoscope of passion was doing to his stomach, his gut felt twisted in knots, overwhelmed by this never-before felt arousal.

Sephiroth was killing him. He absolutely had to regain some measure of control...but it was impossible with Sephiroth’s languid pace, and no matter how much Cloud whined and begged for more, for a harsher, faster speed, Sephiroth never obliged. The gentle form of lovemaking continued for well over half an hour before Cloud fainted due to a conflicted medley that consisted of weeping and screaming in dire want.

There followed solace and peace. They were both exhausted, but rather than sleeping the night away, they lay awake in each other’s arms, chatting like real lovers. Cloud rested on his right side, directly facing Sephiroth, and the older male played with both his own bracelet, and then with Cloud’s hair when he grew weary of the former activity. Lazily draping an arm over Sephiroth’s chest, Cloud scooted closer, and the words all flowed through on their own.

“This is nice,” Cloud whispered, nearly drooling at the height of his pleasure when Sephiroth’s slightly nippy fingertips trailed from the back of his neck down to his spine. Wandering around in random patterns, Sephiroth continued to stroke Cloud’s hair before he gazed at a spot not quite near Cloud’s eyes on his face.

Sullenly, the older male took on a dour visage, not particularly aimed at Cloud. Lips parting carefully, he inhaled a measured breath, held it, and then exhaled as he stated, “You’re free to go, Cloud.”

Eyes shut as he reeled in the pleasurable sensations, it nearly took thirty seconds before the words registered in the younger man’s brain. Stunned upon hearing them, his blue eyes flew open as he gasped in shock.

“Eh?! Sephiroth?” Sitting up, he blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes roughly, and then touched Sephiroth’s face.

Rolling away, Sephiroth sat up and only offered Cloud a weak smile. It paled in comparison to all the other menacing, sadistic, depraved smiles in the past. Though not entirely unwelcome on the handsome veneer Sephiroth possessed, this current expression worried Cloud immensely. As he sat there shaking and feeling how parched and dry his throat was, however, Sephiroth finally rewarded his patience by continuing.

Glancing up at the ceiling, he sighed in defeat and pushed away the sheets from his own body. Shifting towards the edge of the bed, he gently orated, “You once said you wanted for me to let you search for the truth in your own way, remember?” Not even waiting for Cloud to acknowledge that question, he pushed on. “I’m fully aware of your confusion, Cloud; I don’t wish for you to remain confused permanently.”

Standing swiftly and gathering his bond-mate’s clothes off the floor, Sephiroth straightened them out and handed them to Cloud. “I’m not sure you’ll like what you’ll find, but that agency is your own, Cloud. I never meant to rob you of it, you know.” Inching away from the bed, Sephiroth began sweeping his own uniform from the floor, but his shoulders sagged in a way that seemed to suggest how tired he was.

Glancing at his clothes, Cloud felt another infernal knot twisting its way into the pit of his stomach, and then another one made its way into his throat. Feeling constricted even though he struggled to clear his airways and esophagus, Cloud blinked back a tiny tear. Shocked and angry with himself for nearly crying, he tried to recover from it before Sephiroth noticed what was wrong.

Cowardly was the one who held onto his feelings, leaving them subject to a sorrowful velleity. 

Edging himself into his pant legs, Cloud reduced his sniffling as he thickly ground out, “Y-you’ll, umm, you’ll s-still be around, right?” How incessently the hope lingered at the end of his sentence pissed himself off, but that emotion was erased when Sephiroth spun around and caressed his chin.

Tilting his head back, Sephiroth was finally looking right into his eyes. At once, all reasons for Cloud to weep had disappeared, and now, his heart and stomach were filled with a gentle warmth that emanated from Sephiroth’s eyes.

Nodding at him, the silver-haired male answered truthfully, “I’ll always be with you, Cloud.”

As much as Cloud wanted to ask for Sephiroth to solidify his promise, he didn’t dare to. Only tears and disappointment if his expectations weren’t met would be the instinctive reaction to his loss, and Cloud had already suffered through that enough.

Fixing his sweater over his torso, he froze as he remembered one final thing he’d wanted to ask Sephiroth. Perhaps it’d been a part of his imagination, but prior to falling into a deep slumber, Cloud could’ve sworn that he’d heard rambunctious laughter ringing around the bedroom.

“Sephiroth?”

Glancing at his junior from the corners of his eyes, Sephiroth drawled, “Yes?”

Worrying his lower lip with his teeth, Cloud softly inquired, “Were you…err, did you hear laughter, before?”

Unerringly, Sephiroth replied, “No, Cloud. I did not.”

Indeed, it likely had all been the last phases of a sweet dream.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Though ebullient and pleased to be finally back in Wutai area, Cloud still worried about whether his friends had noticed his ‘prolonged’ disappearance. How much time had passed, anyway? There was no genuine way to tell, but he was glad to be back in his own room just the same. Not even a speck of dust touched the furniture and décor in the room, but before he could properly enjoy it all, someone knocked at his door in quite the demanding way. 

When he answered the door, he let out a relieved sigh once he found Tifa and Aerith looking into the doorway with concern painted all over their youthful faces.

Pulling the door open completely, Cloud tried speaking with them, when Tifa’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Shaking in fear, she hugged his form to herself, quivering through it all as she hissed sternly, “Are you okay?!”

Nodding dumbly, Cloud gaped, “Umm, yeah, I just uh…”

“You locked yourself in your room for almost three days, Cloud!” Aerith chimed in, answering all of Cloud’s internal questions regarding the loss of time here.

_‘Three days isn’t too bad…not like a month or anything…’_

_‘It’s still time being lost, you fool.’_

Before Cloud’s heart was able to glow once he heard Sephiroth’s voice channeling through, both Tifa and Aerith frowned and glanced all around the halls and his room.

“Did you hear something?” Tifa wondered, and Aerith surveyed the area, equally as confused.

Assenting slowly, she stated, “I’m…I thought I did…”

 _‘Oh shit…Sephiroth, what the hell’s going on??’_ Could they…no…surely they couldn’t…

It seemed even Sephiroth was stymied and clueless. His eyes widened drastically while he hung back in Cloud’s room, but he didn’t say a word as he slunk back into the shadows, leaving only the two distinctly glowing hues of his green eyes in his wake.

Not wanting to add his own shocked, prolonged silence into the mix at the risk of making the puzzling situation worse, Cloud silently vowed to return to this concerning issue at another time. Instead, he gave Aerith and Tifa both a small hug, praying they would forget whatever they’d heard.

It seemed to work; their frowns of confusion abated, and they hugged him back just as tightly to squeeze the air out of his lungs.

Pulling away first, Tifa gasped, “I don’t get what’s going on with you, Cloud, but whatever the heck it was, we’re grateful you’re okay!”

Fishing for a random excuse, Cloud blushed as he offered, “Wasn’t feeling too good. Since that fight with Zack, I kinda hurt myself.” As he’d stated this, another figure appeared right next to Tifa.

Blinking rapidly, Cloud again blushed deeper as he winced and offered with a penitent look in his eyes, “H-hey, Zack.”

Not at all offended or upset, Zack smiled with heightened ebullience; all teeth as he chuckled brightly, “Hey, Cloud!”

Rolling her eyes as she moved out of the way for Zack to inch closer, Tifa sighed thoughtfully. Eyelashes fluttering, she softly cooed, “Zack wants to talk to you, Cloud.”

“That much was kinda obvious,” Cloud snidely intoned as he tried retreating to his room. He’d made it through with his dignity intact…only to have it stripped away when he began limping due to the pain of standing on his feet for so long, combined with his…activities involving Sephiroth’s high sex drive.

Whistling a high note, Zack declaimed energetically, “I didn’t think I caused _that_ much damage, Cloud, but I guess that means my skills are—”

Turning to the young women, Cloud coughed as he whispered humbly, “Not to be rude, but could you guys wait outside and give us a moment?”

Agreeable and amicable as ever, Tifa and Aerith stood out in the hall and gently closed Cloud’s door behind themselves. Once they were alone, and once everything was dead silent, Cloud awkwardly stumbled about as he turned on a few lanterns and moved away from the door. Zack followed him, a complacent smile on his visage the entire time.

When Cloud finally sat down at an awkward angle on the corner of his futon, Zack sheepishly stood close to him as he held his hands at his sides. No one said a word for over a minute, which provided Cloud with more time than he needed to present his thoughts as delicately as possible.

Studying Zack’s body language, his expressions, everything right down to his pattern of breathing, Cloud suggested in a low voice betraying no emotions, “I think we need to go to Shinra Manor, Zack.”

Now, it was all out in the open. Maybe this odious buzzword would jog Zack’s memory in the way they all desperately needed. There were gaping holes and gaps all over the place, and Cloud wasn’t ignorant to them anymore. Something had happened both to himself and to Zack, and if Zack wasn’t going to explain, then they had to search through other means.

When the dark-haired male failed to supply any answers, Cloud leaned to the side, gripped his arm, and pulled Zack as closely to his own face as he could. Stern and serious, Cloud softly hissed in a demand, “Zack. We’re _going_ to remember what happened, and I know you understand me to some level. You _have_ to. I can’t do this alone anymore.”

Hearing his desperate plea, Zack carefully nodded in confirmation, and then he gave a short, mirthless laugh. “Cloud, I know why you’d want to understand, but I see no use in traveling to Nibelheim, now.” Waving his arms about expansively, he pointed out empirically, “It’s all burnt, Cloud. Nothing’s there.”

Wounded upon remembering just that, Cloud urgently commented, “There must be _something_ there, Zack. You should’ve remembered…no, we _both_ should’ve, but since we can’t, then we have to try harder, even if it hurts and scares us.”

Cringing and growing whiter than the walls, Zack painfully rasped, “I…I’ll—”

“We’re going,” Cloud decided for him right then and there. Grimacing when he stretched to stand, he kept an eye on the closed door as he calmly stated to his friend, “Things aren’t adding up, Zack, and I know you want answers as much as I do.”

“Guess we gotta do this, then,” Zack agreed, though not too enthusiastically. Shifting towards the door, he sighed, “When do we leave?”

Swiftly, Cloud answered with confidence and strength, “In the morning.”

Smiling, Zack bowed respectfully before opening the door.

“EEP!!” Together, both Tifa and Aerith, who’d been listening in and leaning on the door, fell roughly into Zack’s outstretched arms. Cloud rolled his eyes, shaking his head wistfully at the young women. Though he found no fault with them, he tried scowling, only to find it dying away.

He’d missed his friends, but he didn’t wish to dive into maudlin and sentimental words right now. They all needed to be strong to make the journey he wanted to take, and gushing over silly notions would only waste time and be quite draining, no doubt.

Planting his hands on his hips, he stood broad and tall as he announced, “Well, seeing as everyone’s up to speed, who’s coming along with us?”

Immediately, like a flag, Tifa’s hand flew up. “I’ll tag along, Cloud! I know the area well, still!”

Amazed that she didn’t appear to be too worried or frightened, Cloud crossed the distance over to her, and very calmly regarded her with a respectful nod. “Tifa, I don’t know what we’re going to find, there, but if you’re doing this, then you need to be sure it’s what you want.” They had no time for old wounds re-opening and traumatizing them. As long as they all understood it, Cloud was willing to move on with his team.

Promising him that, as soon as Tifa complied, Aerith hung back and her eyes fell to the floor. Though she wasn’t upset or sad, Cloud was able to tell that she was troubled by something. Her emotions were too evident on her bright face, and her conflicting, inner thoughts seemed to remain hidden beneath her soft smile.

“I’m going along too, because Zack needs me,” she finally decided, taking in a shuddering breath as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Zack needs you too right now, Cloud; we all do.”

Beaming at her, Cloud stated agreeably, “We’ll bring Barret as well, so we’ll be okay if danger finds us! Don’t worry!”

The way she fidgeted and wrung her hands, fingers twitching almost irritably seemed to alert to Cloud that she wasn’t only worried about their safety and wellbeing. However, before she could say anything, Zack dipped his head down and yawned.

Blinking back through his dewy eyes, he randomly announced, “I’m gonna get to bed, then.” Peeking up at Tifa, he nodded, and she returned the gesture as she opened the door to exit, first. Once both Tifa and Zack had departed from the room, Cloud noticed how Aerith hung back, though not entirely by choice. This was a move of necessity, and he was able to determine it as he read through her pained expressions.

“Aerith…” Cloud didn’t even know how to ask the question, but since they had a few minutes alone, he gathered fragments of his discarded courage. It seemed that even thinking about voicing the inquiry was poisonous and toxic enough. He hadn’t even uttered a word, and yet his body felt frozen before needle-like points slid into his pores.

Righting himself up firmly and rigidly, he shook off whatever was plaguing himself. This was silly. There was logically no real reason for why his body felt so feeble. He’d rested enough, he’d supported and sustained himself plenty through his connection with his bond-mate. Yet, when he considered his nagging question tugging at the corners of his mind, nothing but the eerie feeling of slicing and cutting echoed back. He’d flitted away from the warm, protective fabric that had veiled all the harshness of reality, and rather than finding distinctly pleasurable realms, Cloud felt miserable.

Clenching his fists so tightly that he’d cracked a knuckle, he almost spat out regretfully, as opposed to gently pushing forth a question to pose to his friend. “Aerith, just for the sake of it, are you _sure_ that you can’t break out of a soul bond?” His heart leapt a few beats as he saw her straightening her neck. His pulse thrummed in his palms and knuckles, and he held on tighter and tighter.

Jaw clenched equally as tightly as his fists were, Aerith quietly admitted, “You can. There’s a way, Cloud.”

How long had she kept this from him? How long had she even known? Not wanting to accidentally hurt her, he had to think and pause before he lunged ahead on careless emotions that normally birthed results he would only live to regret later.

Inhaling softly, Cloud carefully asked, “H-how? How do you do it?”

A tear perhaps had blossomed in her eyes. It was difficult to tell, and perhaps the light had been playing tricks on his sight and deceiving him. Cloud didn’t want for Aerith to be crying, and he abjured the idea more incessantly than he avoided and shunned his own guilt.

How…

Quivering wildly, the tremors were terrifying in their own right, and even Aerith wasn’t able to tolerate them for long. Desperately, she sobbed out, “Cloud, it’s v-very dangerous, and it’s only ever used as a-a last resort!”

“I still want to hear it, Aerith.” Stepping closer and closer to her, Cloud nearly felt her trembling as his own. How much he’d grown to feel and sense was totally overwhelming and frightening. Exhilaration and disgust with himself blended, and like a foul medicine he had to swallow down, he obediently followed. 

Finally glancing up at him, Aerith’s pleading expression totally pierced through his heart. She shook her head, but wailed in a hapless, childlike cry, “S-sacrifice, Cloud! It requires sacrifice!” Pressing her hands down over her chest, as though to still her own racing heart, she blinked back through fat teardrops and hurried through her maudlin words.

“One bond-mate must sacrifice for the other; they will set that person free, and only as a last resort!” Terror-stricken eyes met his, and she expounded, “It’s a final end to a contract, since the result is in death! B-because it’s a bond of spirits!”

Self-sacrifice? But that meant that either he would have to die, or Sephiroth? Was Sephiroth even capable of dying?! Cloud’s brain was on fire and soon became a mushy mess. Like scrambled eggs, he tried pushing through whatever bits made sense, but it was all muddy, murky, and totally nonsensical. He just knew he didn’t want anything to happen to Sephiroth, and he fiercely rejected it.

Shaking his head, he felt a headache coming on. Arguing quickly, he hissed thinly, “N-no…that means—”

“Maybe the souls will be reunited in the afterlife, Cloud, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore right now!” Begging and pleading, as she yanked on his arms, Cloud felt her pain. He felt it, he shared it, and he’d had enough.

Breaking away, he nodded as he gently nudged her towards his door. Hushing and comforting her softly as their feet moved, he whispered and panted in her ear painfully, “Aerith, shh, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything, please!”

She was scared, and she voiced it as many times as Cloud needed to hear it. Zack came running right at them, and as he collected his disturbed girlfriend into his arms, he hardly glared at Cloud before the aggravated blonde slammed the door in his face. As hurt as his friends were, Cloud’s world was crumbling and falling apart.

How could he even think to ask Sephiroth for this? How could he dare to even bring up the topic of self-sacrifice? After _everything_ they’d been through, after all the struggles, sharing of laughter, pain, sorrow, and after the progression of their accomplishments, they had to part ways? This was how it was to be?

Cloud refused it completely. Maybe there were more ways, but he was in no mood to ask Aerith due to how she’d broken down. Moreover, he wasn’t feeling well, himself. Nausea and dizziness took over his fatigued body, and he went sprawling onto the floor. Holding himself up as he gripped his bed for dear life, Cloud saw blurriness and shadows moving in masses. These weren’t Whispers…

Unable to make heads or tails of it, Cloud desperately hung onto the side of his bed as his body threatened to give out. Eyes open as wide and as far as they could go, he let out a muffled cry by slamming a hand over his lips as he fell in his mind before Zack and Sephiroth. The memory exploded before himself, the scene already clear.

_Zack was inspecting something with quite a curious fixation. Pointing at the grey object while it lay motionless, he questioned aloud, “Is that Angeal’s face?!”_

_Approaching, Sephiroth peered down at the fallen thing and nodded. “It appears Genesis isn’t the only one who can be copied.” Walking at the far end of the walkway past Zack, he paused, and a rather sullen, nostalgic expression etched its way onto his youthful face. He looked so lost, so troubled…_

_Gazing back at Zack, he turned his head, first, and then his entire body. Pivoting back around, he pleasantly and fondly exclaimed, “The Company training room…”_

_Since the sentence wasn’t complete, an ambivalent Zack paused as he hummed quizzically. “Hmm?”_

_Smiling widely, Sephiroth stated much of the same words he had to Cloud the first night of their date in the meadow. “We used to sneak in there for fun, when the seconds were out…Genesis, Angeal, and I…” How at peace he looked when he explained this…almost too carefree and youthful. This was the same face that had greeted Cloud anytime he caught the One Winged Angel gazing at him when he didn’t think Cloud was noticing it._

Breaking out of the memory, Cloud felt his head about to split open. As he searched all over the room for Sephiroth, black feathers flew from nowhere. Like rain trickling down from the sky, the feathers rained down from the ceiling all around him in a gravely decorative manner. Pushing past them, Cloud wept as he urgently cried for Sephiroth. To his sheer madness and disappointment, the older warrior chose not to reveal himself.

_‘I only hope you know what you’re doing to us both, Cloud.’_

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

They took the path right into the heart of Nibelheim carefully, hiding within the trees and shadows all the way to the end of the lane-way up to the mansion. They had long since left the wards and safe zones as soon as they landed on the scorched soil running throughout the town. Cloud focused not to look too intently at all the damage that still haunted and plagued Nibelheim. This was once his home…this was once where he’d played together with Tifa, and now, it was all destroyed.

Sensing the young woman’s aeviternal anger, hatred, and fear especially aimed at the one who’d burnt her hometown to the ground, Cloud allowed Tifa to cling to his arm. Cling tightly, she did, shaking as she inhaled and exhaled sharply, like a ferocious dragon about to unleash a severely deadly attack. This was too much for them both, and Cloud insisted they march along faster and faster to end the voyage as quickly as possible.

The sky was daunting, and when Cloud tilted his head up to gaze at the titivating orange-yellow rays, something warm washed over his weak, morose form. Feeling as though he’d been sinking through mud and clay, his body weighed a ton, his breathing slowed down substantially, and suddenly, when he blinked, he was no longer with his friends…

Zack…was this _his_ memory?

_The young man was chasing tirelessly after a middle-aged man sporting graying, black hair with a widow’s peak and beard of the same color. He wore a lab coat over a yellow shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Banora’, brown trousers and open-toed sandals._

_“Dr. Hollander! Wait!!”_

_Just when he’d caught up to him, the pudgy man smirked_ _deviously, turned bravely, and threw himself off the roof of the airstrip and into the air._

_Assuming the worst, Zack bellowed out at the height of his fear, “HEY!!”_

_As the sun beamed to a blinding point, like magic, Dr. Hollander was flown and lifted through the sky by another two one-winged angels. Cloud knew who they were, and even Zack groused as he scolded himself for his carelessness._

_Suddenly, as Zack remained there glaring heatedly, Sephiroth approached. “Mission failed. This goes on your permanent record.”_

_Sputtering in disbelief, Zack turned himself about as he then snorted in mild amusement. “Sephiroth! Long time no see!”_

_Advancing to the ledge of the building, Sephiroth smoothly expounded, “Let the Turks take care of the rest. I was on my way to Modeoheim, but I heard you were in the area.”_

_Sarcastically, Zack sang out, “Lucky me!”_

_Ignoring him, Sephiroth maturely explained while gazing across the bright horizon, “The situation has not resolved. Genesis copies have been sighted around the world.”_

_Disbelief took over as Zack stated, “That can’t be! We wiped out those Genesis copies!”_

_Sternly, Sephiroth asked, “Did Genesis really die?”_

_Confusion left Zack dumbfounded and incapable of saying anything coherent. His diabolical wit_ _had been cut drastically short._

_There was no need to spar and mince words, as Sephiroth provided plenty of his own original intel. “They’ve been sighted in Midgar as well.”_

_“I see…”_

_Bitterly, a sardonic Sephiroth said, “The slums, too.”_

_As Zack glanced up apologetically, as though this was all his fault to begin with, Sephiroth smirked. The smile and amusement channeled through his bright green eyes, and he almost had to force himself to tone down his playful nature. It was there…just a sliver…_

_Smirking, still, he purred, “Permission to return, granted.”_

_Jaw nearly dropping, Zack sputtered weirdly, “Uh…yeah!”_

_Waving, then, Sephiroth almost cheerfully bid him farewell. “Take care.”_

Choking out a sob, Cloud hid his face against Tifa’s shoulder. Thinking that he was reliving the traumatic events and memories associated with the destroyed state of their hometown, Tifa softly caressed his cheeks and face in a desperate move to comfort him. Cloud wasn’t disturbed by the abandoned and annihilated state his hometown was left in, however. His leery burdens lay elsewhere. As such, he couldn’t believe that everything he’d been learning about Sephiroth’s past was totally changing everything he’d once known and held onto so dearly as though it were a written law regarding the silver-haired male.

They’d barely entered Nibelheim, when without warning, Cloud’s own memories flooded in. Gripping Tifa’s arm tightly enough to draw pain, he choked back on his labored breaths. Barret and Aerith gazed at him in concern, and Zack rushed to see whether he was alright.

Shoving him away, Cloud rasped through clenched teeth and tears, “J-just keep m-moving!”

He wished he could take that advice; it was truly difficult to proceed when memories blurred into present reality.

_Sephiroth was leading them all, with Cloud, Zack, and even Tifa following closely behind. It was such a bright, somnolent, warm day. Appreciating the view, Cloud gaped at everything with an excited expression, so pleased and comfortable to be home again._

_“So, how does it feel to be home after all this time?” Sephiroth, as though able to read minds, asked softly, smiling warmly. “I have no hometown; I wouldn’t know.”_

_He wanted to hear what they had to say…_

_Standing as close to him as he could, Zack offered, “Uhh…what about family?”_

_Spinning around to face him, Sephiroth regarded the second-class SOLDIER seriously. “My mother’s name is Jenova. She died shortly after I was born. My father…” He broke off in a laugh at this, though he seemed to be hiding a lot under that normally stoic face. Throwing his head back in hearty laughter, Sephiroth sighed, “Why am I talking about this?”_

_Cloud gasped, though his thoughts remained stuck in his head. ‘Because you’re human…’_

_As Zack stared at him openly, Sephiroth turned back around and ordered, “Come on. Let’s go.”_

_Hanging back, Zack whispered to himself, “Sephiroth’s mother’s name is ‘Jenova’?”_

_That had been the question on Cloud’s mind all along._

On and on, while they ventured forth through the piles of ash, rubble, the mass graves, the decrepit, dilapidated buildings, Cloud took every step as he himself had done years ago. If his footprints were still somehow here, he could’ve given his last breath to swear that he was walking the same path almost based on rote memory and his body moving on autopilot.

As they walked up to the mansion, smoke and ash still eerily rose in the air. Cloud repressed a shiver, wondering just how it seemed like something so dead and dark looming beyond the fog and mist could be so terrifying. This was Shinra Mansion, and this was more than likely where it all began. Their purpose was here, but it was a matter of convincing himself to cross over the threshold.

The entire building looked ominous and foreboding enough. A massive shadow of darkness, with a double pitched black roof, and six, long chimneys. Through the gloom and fog, they saw three single pane dormers to add light to the attic. Perhaps this place was born in and made from the darkness and shadows…

The main feature of the house was the sixty-foot long double veranda that extended the entire length of the off-yellow long walls scored to resemble stone wrapping around the house. There was an ornamental cast-iron railing, with an elaborate grape-cluster design along all sixty feet of the veranda. Wind chimes hung from the hooks, clinking and singing their tunes in the faint breeze.

As Cloud and his friends stared at the untouched, unscathed manor, Cloud especially noticed that this version of the abode differed tremendously from the one Sephiroth had kept him in. Perhaps due to the pain associated with whatever had happened here, or perhaps Sephiroth was willfully excluding some portions due to his own memories being discarded after his death. Whatever the cause for it, Cloud gathered his gut, and he led his friends to the front gates bravely.

After taking one small step, again, a memory slammed through, nearly knocking him to the ground.

_Tifa was here, too…Tifa, Zack, Sephiroth, and Cloud himself…they all stood together, with Sephiroth eyeing the younger woman incredulously._

_Zack exclaimed in shock, “Tifa! You’re our guide?!”_

_Giggling, Tifa nodded and saluted him. “At your service!”_

_A camera suddenly flashed, and Zack, Tifa, and Sephiroth fell in the frame. That moment had been forever captured; their feelings immortalized…_

_Zack had warned her that it was too dangerous, but Tifa was just as strong-willed then as she always was. They didn’t want her to be involved in this, and it was strongly decided she had to stay away._

_Sephiroth was already moving up the steps towards an older Mako reactor, but Tifa remained importunate in following._

_“I want to go inside and look, too!”_

_Shaking his head at her, Sephiroth gently demurred, “This is a top-secret facility. Non-Shinra personnel aren’t permitted inside.”_

_As she argued back, Sephiroth cried out to Cloud, “Keep the young lady safe!” Then, he was off, heading inside with Zack, while Tifa pouted and kicked away at the ground in petulance._

_Cloud recalled how he’d hidden away from his childhood friend out of embarrassment, but now that he had a second chance to focus as a third-party viewer of the incident, he approached it all from an entirely unique angle. Sephiroth had been genuinely concerned for Tifa’s safety and wellbeing, and that wasn’t something he could ignore. All too quickly, he was reminded of how they’d been battling with the Wutai warriors during their first meeting, and Sephiroth had in fact protected Tifa where Cloud had once again failed to do so…_

Shame. Regret. Panic. Mortification. He’d been already degraded and lowly enough when he failed to pass as a decent SOLDIER. Returning to Nibelheim terrified him when Tifa appeared in her cute little outfit. Cloud hardly said a word or even acknowledged her. He’d been so disgraced since he’d failed as a warrior, that he couldn’t stomach it if she noticed him.

This place…it was suddenly so dark and soured by poisonous, painful memories drudged up from the squalid dregs of his own mind…

Pushing the rusted, squeaky gates open with his mighty strength, Barret then hung back to take in the view. When he tipped his head up and glared ahead at the length of Shinra Manor in all its glory, he shook his head and whistled. Holding out his right arm, he growled thickly, “Here’s our stop, folks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shoot, the plot's going to get more intense, now 😣


	32. Exaltation

The entry doors weren’t even scathed. Nothing pernicious had touched this place that was surrounded by a transom and sidelights, showcasing original, hand-painted stained glass, etched and patterned after the supposedly Christian cross to allegedly ward off evil. The signs and markings were slightly rusted, but in far greater shape when compared to the other squalid buildings scattered throughout Nibelheim.

They went through the door and in the entrance hall with Cloud in the lead. The entry hall of the mansion echoed with his footsteps, making the gloom and malaise of the empty space seem ever so melancholic. His eyes were never still as he drank in the surroundings with a thirst reserved only for drought. In all his years spent engaged in combat, he’d been starved for beauty, and in its own way, the deserted gloom of the mansion was beautiful. True, there were cobwebs everywhere and everything was in disarray, but it had an appeal that was more than just an appearance. The mansion had history, and like Sephiroth, Cloud intended upon finding out some of the stories that the building had to tell.

Holding his breath until he’d stood openly in the hall, Cloud felt dizziness and anxiety swarming over himself. Waving at his friends, he encouraged them to keep up. The first thing they noticed was the sweeping curved staircase leading to the upper levels. The second was the crystal and a wrought iron chandelier that sparkled with so many prisms it just painted the walls with rainbows. The entrance hall featured prized Italian marble floors that continued up the winding staircase.

There was an incredibly large kitchen with a walk-in pantry where there happened to be a small sink and a large area for preparing and canning items from the garden. Though nothing grew, there, Cloud wondered if roses and orchids bloomed there as they had in Sephiroth’s garden…

A door that lead to the garden was located at the end of the kitchen. A quick exit and entryway, no doubt. A grand pantry for storing the table linens and common dishes, china, glasses, and crystals had been partly open, shocking Tifa once she accidentally knocked into it, causing the door hinges gave out a lout groan.

Curiously yanking open a drawer of an old cabinet, Zack muttered to himself as he espied a shiny spoon. Tapping and running his fingers along the handle of it, he hissed sharply, “Wow, the emblem of Shinra is all over these.”

Peeking over at the utensils, Cloud discovered that Zack was correct. It was highly obvious that the Company members had dined here, once. In the kitchen, there was a narrow, wooden stairway that led upstairs, but no one ventured there, yet. Off the kitchen was the breakfast room with its own conservatory. This room had heavy leaded stain glass windows, rose designs eating up majority of the décor.

Toward the back of the house, they found an old, large library with a stretched out orerry in the center of the room. Was this the same library Cloud had spent a few hours in searching for his own answers?! The youth had to wonder about that as he poked his head in the dusty room, but he had no time to go nosing around in books. Aerith was already sneezing, no doubt due to the dust and mildew wafting around.

“Keep moving,” Barret ordered them when Aerith began coughing, and even Tifa had to blink back tears of irritation.

Climbing the sweeping, curved stairway with the ornate banister, they looked down to take in the grand entrance from above. It was quite the view, but they had no specific, set path. At least the air quality wasn’t as poor up here. There was unfortunately no time for sight-seeing, however.

After they’d turned about, they took in view of the front of the house from the three lead windows and the upper stained-glass pattern above each of the windows before continuing the short flight of stairs that brought them to the second floor. The stairway split the floor into two wings. There was a rich, thick, burgundy carpet on the floor, with high ceilings with the crown molding. The walls are paneled in Circassian walnut. There was far too much richness of detail, and so much perfection in this abode. Where the seams of the panels would come together, there existed a thin beam of matching wood to create a frame. Every other frame had a painting centered, glaring back at the members of Avalanche.

What caught their attention was that the scenes in each of the pictures were still unlike the paintings from home. Some of them were painted scenes of a bayou, others of flora and fauna giving the feeling of sanctuary, unlike the lower level that gave the feeling of formal propriety. As they looked down the extensive hallways, they took in the small couches, the chairs, the benches, the small console tables and the small chest of drawers spread along the way to draw in just how large the manor was.

Cloud felt a little queasy and cold as they moved as one mind. The group of friends went toward the right to explore the rooms, but as they did, the blonde couldn’t help but feel that something was off. The first room they entered happened to be a large, airy, deep rose and pale green room. It was so rich a color, and obviously meant for a lady. The sweeping four-poster bed with the sweeping drapes that surrounded the bed reminded Cloud of the bedroom he’d shared with Sephiroth…

This room however wasn’t too grand. It had a dressing table in the corner by the French doors that opened out to the balcony. A large chaise and a writing desk almost identical to Sephiroth’s hung near the bed. The fireplace in this room had rose flowers mosaics with a darkly stained wooden mantle. The brightly polished wooden floor with the area rugs thrown around the bed made everything seem larger. After glancing into this room and finding nothing of value, systematically, they moved onto the next room down the hall.

The mute yellow floral wallpaper with the furniture all done in fumed oak greeted their eyes. At the foot of an old bed was a rickety rocking chair, eerily still moving even though there wasn’t but a draft in the mansion. A fireplace done in multiple tiles of different shades of reds with a matching mantle of fumed oak in the center seemed like it could’ve been the same fireplace Cloud and Sephiroth had sat before together, eyeing the dancing, twisting flames…

A small grandfather clock resting on the mantle ticked softly, but when Cloud glanced up at it, the small hand ceased moving.

Moving down the hall even further, Barret explored swiftly. He opened a large door to a very white bathroom. White tiles covered the floor, larger white tiles made up the walls, and a white vanity bearing a golden faucet and handles stood before their eyes. A deep tub could be found on the floor, supported on golden claws, with multiple golden shower-heads hung from the ceiling. While the room had a very sterile feeling to it, no one wanted to be within it for long.

Inching back, Tifa hissed, “I don’t feel like th-this place is normal…”

Nodding in his agreement, Barret growled bitterly, “Something ain’t right here. I feel it, too.”

They continued down to the next room, their footsteps louder than the sound of a hundred beating drums. They located a small sitting room with built-in shelves that housed different pieces of art, vases, a few frames of old paintings, and some curious pieces of curved branches. Zack touched them softly, pausing to sniff at the dead, dried-up leaves. They crumbled beneath his nose, and he gasped as he moved away from them.

“So many books, here,” Aerith proclaimed in awe while she moved past an ornate bed taking up majority of the space within the room. As she read along the spines of the old books with a sonorous and musical voice, Tifa frowned up at a heavy and thick-looking shelf. Only one large book sat upon it, and a large handprint rested over the front.

Cautiously, Tifa held up her right hand, and hovered it over the dusty print already imprinted on the book cover. “I do wonder…” Gently, she brought her hand down over it, all the fingers lining up together almost for a perfect match. The moment she’d made physical contact with the book, the wall groaned, and then like magic, it swung to the side before their shocked eyes.

The secret hiding behind the bookshelf was revealed in mere seconds. Once he let his eyeballs fix themselves onto the object, Cloud wasn’t as shocked as he thought he’d be. It was a portrait. Specifically, a pale, peach silk wall treatment with a gilded gold picture frame revealed the painting of the exact same woman with brown eyes, long-flowing brown hair kept up in a ponytail, and a white dress Cloud had seen before. She’d been the one singing to him in her mellisonant voice. How peaceful she appeared to be mounted in the middle of the wall. Those soft eyes seemed to hold a lot of pain, anguish, but love…

_Cloud was abruptly pulled into another memory at once. He hadn’t even touched the book as Tifa had, but he’d been sucked right to the very center as he gazed too long into the woman’s alluring gaze. It called and beckoned him, and he freely fell to its seductively comforting grasp._

_Standing in the dimly lit, empty hallway, he passed by furniture and the same paintings he’d seen with his friends. The ambiance and mood here were so much more peaceful. Cloud couldn’t help but notice how calm it was in this sacred memory. He had to explore…_

_The first room he stumbled in seemed to be the same one he felt his physical body still trapped in, yet it wasn’t, at the same time. A king-size bed on a whitewash frame held an old Chinese fan, and dark globes. Matching lamps with heavy, paper lampshades of a floral design with butterflies flapping their wings left him in a fuzzy daze. In the corner of the odd room was a free-standing mirror. Next to the mirror was a mannequin holding on its frame the best dress made for perhaps a woman of higher class and status. More shelves bearing books and knickknacks decorated the walls, almost weaving around his head._

_A stencil design of birds in flight continued throughout the room in the carvings engraved in the headboards and the wood of furniture. The bed linens smelled fresh, and Cloud scented lavender and vanilla, above all else. The walls presented various shades of purple, from the tiles in the fireplace, to the stain silk wall treatment, even to the flowing drapes. The mahogany furniture simply gleamed, perhaps due to a good treatment of polish recently bestowed._

_Somehow, this wasn’t of interest to him. He’d caught the sound of a woman softly signing and humming, and he knew he had to investigate. Picking his feet up in spite of the heady rush, Cloud staggered past a smaller, yet still quite spacious room with palm leaf wallpaper in beige and olive. The furniture was beechnut, and opposite of the fireplace against the wall were two study desks with a built-in low bookshelf._

_Ignoring this one, his ears hooked on the singing, and as he began growing closer and closer to it, all the rooms blurred and blended into one mess. Maybe a room with a very nautical ambiance had been in his memory. Now, it was here, its sky-blue walls flashing before his eyes like lightning he could never grasp. Traces here and there told him nothing; all he had was that sweet voice._

_He was moving. He saw a connecting lab, the bleach white walls akin to a damn prison cell. A door swung open, darkness extending from perhaps a basement, and then, it was gone once he swam towards the singing and serene humming._

_After what felt like a mountain of treacherous, dreary hours spent in searching, right when Cloud considered quitting and abandoning his quest, he felt the warm glow radiating into his heart, clogging up the valves and veins in a way he’d never thought possible. If this was a form of death, it was painless, soothing, and rapturous…_

_This could only be the nursery. He’d deduced so when he nearly knocked into a small baby cot, the first piece of furniture that greeted him. A tiny table and bright chairs fit for a child sat before an open window. A day bed leaned against the opposite wall of the cot. Next to the daybed sat a rocking chair. Above the chair loomed a row of books, perhaps meant for a child, as well. It became quite clear that this wasn’t a room many had wandered in. The floors were shiny, free of any dust. Not even a scratch or marking touched the wood of the dresser with an oval mirror mounted above it._

_The notes softly tickled his ears. The way they played into his stalwart mind so closely tricked Cloud into assuming that the woman humming the gentle tune was right beside him. When he turned on his heels, however, he discovered that no one was there. Only an open door called unto him, and he supposed that the presence here was trying to communicate to him. The signs had been laid bare; he had to press on._

_Across the nursery was a child’s playroom. Working his way inside, his steps faltered as much as his heart wavered. This room housed a large, wooden train table with strange trains hooting and running all throughout long tunnels. It was a model set, and the charms enabled it to act and move on its own accord, as though bewitched._ _There was soft carpet on the floor, a clear contrast to the floor of the nursery. Many interesting toys that Cloud hadn’t ever seen before and never even played with in his own childhood were littered all over the place. He wasn’t sure what to make of it all._

_A large, bright dollhouse that opened on a hinge presented multiple rooms and levels with furniture and a family of three. The dolls consisted of dark-haired male and brown-haired female. In her arms, the woman held a small bundle wrapped in a blanket. From afar, Cloud could practically see how happy she was…_

_Her child…_

_There were multiple soft animals. The stuffed creatures appeared in every corner of the room. A monkey, a few bears, and to his delighted awe, there was even a dragon. What Cloud found most intriguing was a curious metal box with a handle. He’d almost stepped on it as he studied the animals. The box had a different color on every side, captivating the young man at once. It wasn’t the source of the tune, however. Cloud bent in order to pick it up. It weighed next to nothing in his hands._

_Examining it carefully, he turned the handle as far as it would go. Every time he turned the crank, oddly distorted notes faintly poured out. To his surprise, the music played on, fading into the background. The woman’s humming overpowered it, but this time, Cloud didn’t have the excuse of not knowing the tune. Hands moving freely, he continued to turn the handle of the box while his eyes slowly shifted up. After a few seconds, the crank ceased, and a jester popped out of the top of the box. It startled Cloud so much he dropped the toy. As he was gasping for air, Cloud righted himself, and as he did, he saw her, then._

_Beautiful and stunning. Almost picturesque, she sat beneath the cherry blossom tree, the petals falling elegantly in her hair. She looked like a goddess as her earrings and jewelry sparkled in the light. Eyes closed, she hummed her hapless, sad song as both of her hands rested down at her stomach. Following her movements, Cloud hardly was able to suppress a shocked gasp from escaping through his mouth._

_The young woman smiled down at her protruding stomach. Smoothly, her hands grazed the rising bump, and she hummed louder and louder, repeating the enchanting music that always lingered on the edge of malaise. A conflicted gleam erupted in her eyes, and as she ended the piece, she let out a tiny cry._

_Brows furrowed, as her hands moved in slow, clockwise motions, she sweetly spoke to the life forming in her womb. “My son…I wonder what’ll become of you?”_

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Zack never gave off bemused signs and inclinations that his memories had returned. Cloud picked up on it from the moment he’d fallen out of the memory, right until he’d located the entrance to the basement level of Shinra Manor. Sephiroth had once warned him to stay away from the lowest level of the manor. Would Zack show such a reaction?

Expectations hadn’t been met. Much to his disappointment and dismay, Cloud wasn’t able to trace any emotions within Zack. No apprehension, alarm, grief, pain, misery. Nothing. The young man remained as cold and aloof as possible, a blank slate while they all stood glaring down the long length of stairs leading into the basement.

Shrugging off the feeling of being watched, Cloud followed his intuition beyond an empty room containing a round, stone wall. In the center of it was a door that Cloud had failed to see in his quest and discoveries within the mansion. He walked up to it and placed a hand on the rough surface, surprised to feel it swing and slide open under his gentle touch.

Now would’ve been an opportune moment for anything, _any_ word or phrase to be uttered from Zack’s pursed lips, but none came. Only quiet and stillness stretched back from the bottom of the stairs. Left with doom and trepidation lingering on the edge, nearly sending himself tumbling down, Cloud swallowed, cleared his throat, and wordlessly took the first step.

They merely stared into the heavy darkness, hopeful their eyes would adjust.

Torches were lit, illuminating a spiral staircase leading downward. The way to the basement, the bold youth assumed. He gingerly stepped forward onto the landing, testing the first step for strength. When he found that it could support his weight, he continued downward, quickly testing each step lest he step on one that would cause his fall to the very bottom floor of the basement, and possibly his demise. Once ‘safe’ enough, Cloud motioned for his friends to follow. It took some time, but together, the group made it safely to the bottom of the staircase.

As they made their way deeper and deeper into the putrid basement, the virose oddities of Cloud’s worst nightmare manifested in the waking world before his sight. Glass jars, beakers, valves, and odd machines greeted them. Valvar tubes filled with gnarly materials, paired with winding wires dusty and covered in thick cobwebs did nothing for their nerves.

Zack seemed entranced, but he had yet to show a sincere, genuine reaction. Is this what the surface of madness really looked like? Was this how he was escaping the foul and grimly harsh realities?

Time passed as they espied valviform pipes, poles, and bizarre gears. The madid windows had thick, heavy bars stretched across them, aiming to keep things sealed and protected here for quite some time. When they were at the bottom of another flight of stairs, finally, Cloud felt his lungs beginning to expand in painful ways.

_‘What if Sephiroth was right? What if this is going to end up killing us both?’_

At first, it was all black, but then came shades of blue, green, red, and white. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as empty labs and rooms with their lights turned off glared at them through the dark windows when the group made their way past long hallways that seemed never ending. A blue LED light turned yellow rapidly, guiding the way down the white halls and white floors. Every so often, an odd glimmer and shine would appear over Barret’s sunglasses, but all else was silent.

Pausing as he stared in through heavily barred windows, Cloud saw creepy glass jars and containers holding weird items and organs, possibly. He didn’t stare too long at them, for the ghostly cry of children weaved the way quickly down the hall, catering to his embryonic fear. Cloud didn’t even want to know what had happened here. It was already much too painful.

As they moved past the rooms, things turned weirder and weirder. Rooms housing spare machine and android parts wrenched a strangled cry from Tifa. It interrupted the diligent quiet of the laboratory she searched through.

_Many scientists in white lab coats suddenly appeared like phantoms before Cloud. He was the only one able to see them. Maybe their pained, tortured spirits still lingered here, a testament to all the horrific acts and ghastly deeds. A terrified scream etched through a once vibrant and highly active laboratory._

_All eyes on the assistant, the source of the sound. A glance would indicate their attention fixated on the screen, hands over their mouths to suppress their awe. A closer look would find tears streaming down their cheeks, swathed in a warm, orange glow of the monitor. Several doctors and assistants scurried over to look over one another, faces scrunched up in focus for mere moments, before erupting into astonished, choked emotion similar to the one that called them earlier. A crowd grew behind the monitor, all staring in reverent stupor as they processed the visuals before themselves._

_The view had been changed when Cloud joined them. A black, uneven stripe, with only the smallest smear of yellow peeked over the darkened expanse. Below the black appeared to be water, reflecting the radiance emanating from the candied horizon. Light filtered through clouds as slender fingers appeared, grasping the sky, teasing and kneading the frothy vapors into a prism of fire._

_Their red-tinged faces glowed in the flickering luminescence, a stunning orange and crimson, yet only a mockery of the reality it depicted. This was all they had; this was all they would ever see. Mere glimpses of a world in which they’d never belong to, through the flickering window of the world they’d invited into their own…_

“It’s a lab!” Tifa’s announcement pierced and rang through the air, but they all found her estimates to be quite accurate.

Rows of dusty tables holding jars, petri dishes, and all other sorts of strange equipment with labels more than a few decades old remained in the calmness of the basement. The area was much larger, but no one knew where to go.

This was where they supposedly created the monsters…

Lab equipment and other strange gear Cloud hadn’t seen before was hooked to large screens and shelves in the walls. Containers were dusty, covered from top to bottom in mold, but whenever they passed by, eerie blue glows emanated forth before disappearing. Tifa, Aerith, and Barret stood gaping around a dim monitor. Zack stood with his arms folded, glaring away at charts and books, but he wasn’t actively engaging in anything.

The entire room was grey, abysmal, and cold. Pixelated forms of dead and other discolored creatures flashed on a screen before that too shut down. The low humming and droning sounds the equipment created now and then reminded them that they were run by mako. The energy source had been shut off, it seemed. Mako…wasn’t that the power that everyone needed? Wasn’t Mako the reason for their world to be powered on and all things, dark and light, existing through time?

White.

Everything was a shiny, polished white. There wasn’t an inch or speck of dirt on any of the equipment. The bright lights reflected off the shiny marble floor, creating a nearly blinding atmosphere.

On the equipment, viscous globs of unknown substances clung, some dripping off the handles. Whatever archaic, physical and digital remains were accessible, they didn’t need to study it, here. Zack especially was already trying to exit the area, a grimace etched all over his features as he moved.

A soft, steady ‘beeping’ sound slowly filled the room, and as a collective breath from all members of Avalanche was held, the last ‘beep’ finished. The entire room sighed in relief, with Barret glaring down at Aerith.

“Don’t touch anything!” he warned her through a deep scowl, but she mawkishly insisted she hadn’t done anything.

As they shifted through, they espied many textbooks documenting computer usage, history of mankind, experimentation, and science that sat still open on the white tables. Icons of torment, torture, and suffering had been scattered about in this room, no doubt.

_A gasp sounded somewhere to his right. His infantryman helmet made it slightly difficult to see, but he peered through stubbornly. Eyes filled with wonder as the sight of an expanse of blue puffs wove through the sky, above the rolling, lush grassy hills...that abruptly ended, and it cut directly to a dark, murky interior of a cloistered room bearing strange containers and equipment._

_A Mako Nibel reactor…he knew this place, though as he followed Zack and Sephiroth’s ascent, it was as though he was experiencing every little thing through Zack’s eyes. They took time and examined the equipment inside, eventually stopping before large, heavy doors._

_“Jenova!!” After studying the inscriptions, he followed with his confused eyes as Sephiroth made the way back down as he peered around the tanks and glowing containers._

_Monsters…they were all monsters, and now that he was older, Cloud recognized what had caused all this madness. Too much mako…it was poisonous, and it was degrading them all piece by piece._

_Zack crept up close to Sephiroth, and the older male quickly deduced why everything had malfunctioned in the Nibel reactor. The section was broken. Zack was ordered to go seal the valve, but as he passed Sephiroth, the older male wondered aloud to himself._

_“Why did it break?”_

_Leaning over to gaze down at the tank once Sephiroth had moved away, Zack let out a gasp of shock. “What is that?!”_

_Head low, Sephiroth orated, “You average SOLDIER members are mako-infused humans. You’re enhanced, but you’re still human…” When Zack eyed him with caution, Sephiroth rhetorically repeated his very same question._

_“But then…what are those things?”_

The blue beams shot through into Cloud’s eyes when he stood right where Zack once had. Unable to believe that this place still held the ghastly experiments, he deduced out loud, “They have too much mako-energy…more than we ever did…”

They were monsters.

As Cloud viewed the memory, he heard Sephiroth provide the answer.

_“Yes. The Shinra scientist Hojo was the one who created them. Abominations spawned by mako energy…that’s what monsters are…” The words ‘that’s what I am’ never came, but Cloud knew they’d been on the tip of Sephiroth’s tongue._

_Sadness and concern overwhelmed Zack as he’d asked about Sephiroth’s powers and skill. That had triggered something. Pain, pain that was unending and vile hit both Sephiroth and Cloud. Sephiroth cradled his head, stumbling and staggering about, nearly knocking himself into the walls and floor._

_“Could it…could it be that I…was created the same way?” Righting himself up as he stayed away from Zack, he almost sobbed, “Am I the same as these monsters?”_

The nefarious containers had cracks in them, and Cloud forced himself and Tifa to look away from the abominations inside. Even Barret growled as he spat condescendingly at the decaying creatures, cursing Hojo and Shinra to hell and back with colorful language added into it. Together, they all staggered about in as much pain as Sephiroth had once been experiencing in, right in this same room…

_“Am I a human being?”_

_He began wading as if he was in a deep, dark trench, the black quagmire slowing him down greatly as he waddled through. Each step he took was weighted down by some invisible force, and the more he exerted himself, the more exhausted he grew. He wasn’t getting anywhere, and the idea that he could stop and stay still soon entered his brain. He wasn’t sure if concepts like life and death applied in this strange, magical land, but he didn’t want to toy with it and test it out, just in case it was real..._

_Cloud felt himself slowing down, and he saw one last trail of white bouncing light. That was his last bit of hope!_

_The moment he saw it, energy somehow flowed back through his system, and with renewed and refreshed zeal, he leapt after it. It blew up over his head again right before he could touch it, and he was sucked and pulled in through some vortex of sorts as it led him to another memory._

“Cloud!”

He only noticed he’d been walking on without his friends when thick shades of grey, blue, and tones of purple registered. Chains, hooks, and ropes dangling from a rocky ceiling, much like a cave, perhaps. A torture chamber? A dungeon? He didn’t even know where he was, but somehow, through the memory, he’d been shifting on and on.

Cloud felt his footsteps growing heavy and slow as he willed both his feet to pick up the pace a little. The dark, empty path stretched on for what felt like miles, never coming to an end. White lights from swinging hooks and cranes before they burst into rusted parts above beamed into his eyes and buzzed lightly, accompanying him as if they were playing his melanic death knell…

Though his body wasn’t agreeable, Cloud’s mind forced it to keep on. Ignoring the screams of his bemused friends as they fought to keep up, he hurried down anyway, climbing over jagged rocks, the steep climb finally ending before a tightly sealed door. Eager not to lose his balance, he found that the lights did in fact turn on brightly, giving the entire area a translucent glow. It soon became engulfed in shadows of his friends looming behind himself, the light twisting their forms into humongous monsters climbing on the walls.

Huffing madly, Barret wheezed as he lunged past Cloud. “The hell…is…this?”

“Where we need to be.” Cloud was affronted by his own words and thoughts. No one knew why they were here from a logical standpoint, but Cloud wasn’t going to waste time arguing. Aggressively, he’d already cut down the door, blasting away with his magic materia through the padlock and heavy chains. The large door caved in at once, puffs of smoke and dust rising to obscure his vision as he coughed and blinked past them.

“ _Coffins?!”_ Aerith’s incredibly surprised squeal, followed by Barret’s deep, throaty growl repeating her words didn’t set Cloud off.

Shaking his head once the debris and dust settled, Barret muttered disdainfully, “There ain’t nothin’ to see here. Let’s go.”

“No!” Cloud argued back, not even frightened by the intensity of his own voice. “We stay, and we search every inch of this place.”

Shivering in fear, Aerith pointed out in a wail, “B-bones! I see skulls on the floor!” Leaping up in fright when she nearly stepped over one, she tried to reach out for Zack, when Cloud heard a faint clawing sound. Thankfully, it appeared that this wasn’t a part of his own imagination or creation. Everyone else heard it too, and Barret boldly began peeking into the open coffins.

“I hear something!” Tifa cried out in anticipation while she stood rigidly behind the larger, burlier man. Barret surveyed the open caskets, but the one that he never paid attention to was the one Cloud lay his weapon down over.

The fetters and chains tightly wrapped around this one was ancient. The moment he touched them, the casket rattled, confirming his own suspicions. Holding out his arms, he ordered for his friends to stay back. After frozenly remaining within a dangerous level of propinquity, they scurried away. Immediately, a mysterious voice of a man called out to them, seemingly out of thin air.

“My sleep…you’ve disturbed it.” Due to how plainly he’d spoken, as though bewildered, himself, the man paused before assuming pointedly, “You seek something here, perhaps to wake me from the nightmare?”

Cloud didn’t even breathe as his gaze remained focused and intently on the lid of the old coffin. Heavy, thick, and the wood hadn’t even been covered in dust. This wasn’t possible…

At once, without a warning, with an inhuman burst of strength, the coffin lid exploded open.

It was a man. A mystical man, stern and upright while at the same time dark and mysterious...there was no telling for how long he’d been trapped in the room, in the coffin, but like a creature of another world, he slowly rose out of the casket and glared intently at Cloud, first.

Whoever this man was, he didn’t seem to be too eager to leave the confines he was kept in. Though he eventually stood, his eyes glowered down at everyone, and with an air of haughtiness, he hissed at them as he broadened his stance.

This man had alabaster skin that appeared to glow. Physically, he could’ve been in his late twenties, and he towered over Cloud in height. His crimson eyes and long black hair were his most unique features. On his head, he wore a red bandanna with his ebony-colored fringe emerging over it. The mysterious man’s most distinctive feature was a red cloak held in place over his shoulders and lower face by several fancy buckles. Underneath this cape-like fabric, an attire that was made up of black leather with several straps and buckles encased his large form.

The man had been ‘buried’ with his weapons, however. He wore a holster for his gun strapped to his right thigh and pointed, golden sabatons on his feet. On his left arm rested a golden gauntlet, slightly less refined due to the passage of time, but still profusely glaring into Cloud’s eyes.

He was exhilarating to behold. Even his eyes glowed ruby in the firelight. Cloud soon saw that red was indeed his actual eye color, and those very eyes reminded him of the color of blood spilled on snow. This man was the exception. His hair was unruly, and the rest of his face remained hidden in shadows, as if he had a secret to hide from the world, which perhaps he did. The most shocking part of this man, however, wasn’t his eyes; it was the absurdity and bizarre nature of the left arm, which had in its stead a metal claw. Cloud somehow managed to tear his eyes away from what would usually be considered a deformity or a handicap. The last thing he wanted to do was offend this secretive man when he didn’t understand his appearance, apparel, gauntlet and what had happened to him.

Gazing at every member of Avalanche, the incensed man finally let out a cold snarl. “I’m not familiar with any of you, therefore, you must leave.”

Nodding, Barret announced, “Yeah, uh, sounds like a plan, we’ll just—”

“You were making noises in the coffin.” Ignoring what his friends were doing, Cloud boldly stepped up to the taller male and met his eyes darkly. Though slightly intimidated due to the height difference, his instincts alerted him that this man, although harsh in his exterior and phlegmatic demeanor, didn’t mean to seriously harm them. He could’ve done so if he’d wished many times over; this was a man of his own prowess and skill, no doubt.

Not even batting an eyelash, the exasperated man castigated sibilantly, “The sleep…I was asleep for so long…” Looking as though even he himself wasn’t sure of the time or date, the confused, dark-haired male leaned into Cloud drastically. “You’re not from my time, are you?”

The accuracy and oddity of the statement caused great concern in Tifa and Aerith. Clinging to Cloud, they tried yanking him away, but Cloud stepped even closer to the odd man. “Who are you?” The question ‘can you even remember your own name’ hadn’t been spoken, but more so implied.

Reeling back almost as though a great force had knocked into himself, the tall male gaped about before muttering, “Not enough time to atone…my sins…my errors…” Pausing, a confused expression overcame his visage, and then he eyed them all as though finally coming to terms with their presence.

“Still…strangers. You all need to leave here at once!”

Though no one obeyed, Cloud diligently pursued all the answers. “Your name, do you remember it?”

Nestling back against the coffin, the ornery man murmured under his breath, “This place is a nightmare, too.”

Whether the nightmare itself happened to be a physical one or metaphysical one wasn’t something Cloud wanted to debate. Softer in his approach, this time, he repeated, “Your name?”

That seemed to yield the best results. The tall man shrouded in blankets of thick mysteries finally unraveled them all one at a time. Vermilion eyes turning even brighter akin to one who was renewed with the fresh breath of life in their lungs, he exhaled succinctly, “Vincent Valentine.”

* * *

Finally. Good morning, you beautiful person. 


	33. Conscious Sedation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vincent in action.

With an undignified, obdurate snort which broke everyone out of the lull weighing heavily in the cramped room, Barret barked, “Who the hell are you exactly, Vincent?”

Casting a terse glare across the superbious room, Vincent replied mordantly, “I was a member of the Turks.” Eyes shutting and clenched tightly, he lurched, and then shook himself. It was clear that this man wasn’t a gregarious individual. Quiet, reserved, and aloof in many ways, he appeared disturbed beyond all measure.

Eyeing him carefully, Tifa softly inquired with caution at the edges of her tone, “Are you…okay?”

Clenching his limbs and jaw tightly, his mouth hardly moved as he spoke more to himself than to anyone else. “That was my sin, and this...this is my punishment.”

Backing away from him brusquely, Barret concluded irreverently to Zack, “This man’s nuts…I think we should ditch his ass.”

Such synchronicity was quite staggering to the tall, former Turk member. Nostrils suddenly flaring like an angry bull’s, Vincent’s eyes flew open. Glaring heatedly at Zack, especially, he soon broke the gaze and returned to his own inner brooding. Moving about near his coffin, he spoke to himself in hushed tones, paying no one else any mind.

Refusing to have any of it, Cloud crowed out, “What happened, here? Who put you in that coffin?”

Pausing, though he didn’t seem inclined to even face them, Vincent addressed his inquiries soothly and carefully. “I did. I was meant to sleep forever.” Face morphing into one of pain, and then anger as he gingerly touched his chest, he hissed sharply, “Hojo…I remember. His work and his doing are the cause for this.”

Face pale, Aerith shook like a small leaf as she informed him, “That creepy guy! He had me captured!”

Holding onto her for comfort and support, Tifa added, “He’s insane. He wanted to run all these new experiments!” Staring at Cloud, then at Vincent, again, she stated with fear in her tone running rampant, “Something about breeding Aerith with ‘S’ and ‘G’ type candidates!!”

Nose turning up in disgust, Vincent coolly stood above them all, almost as though he were a creature from the supernatural world. “Many years ago, humanity created a monster.”

Almost on cue, both Tifa and Aerith croaked, “Sephiroth.”

Cloud’s gut clenched, and the moment it had, Vincent surreptitiously peeked at him from over his shoulder. The contrast of red mixing in with his white face, red eyes, and raven-colored hair was astounding and haunting in its own ways. Petrified to the spot, Cloud wasn’t able to offer anything intelligent in the way of a conversation, but it soon became evident that he didn’t need to. The last time he’d encountered Professor Hojo, the man had gone on about something regarding Cloud not even being a SOLDIER…his memory was still failing him, and now that Vincent was rambling on in his own raspy voice, things were affecting Cloud in a detrimental, perilous way.

Tifa had taken it upon herself to step up and converse with Vincent. Pushing her hair over her shoulders, she gingerly mulled over her own words and their implications. Cloud was a lot happier with this; he wasn’t the best of communicators, and right now, his standoffish mind was overworking itself as he stiffened upon hearing Sephiroth’s name being brought up.

“There must be a link,” Tifa began earnestly while her eyes searched Vincent’s. “Do you—have you known him, before?”

On that same note, Barret demanded in a rude tone, “What the hell is he? We can’t seem to stomp him out for good!”

Playing in the seconds that added onto the heavy tension souring the stale air, Vincent defeated his own internal brooding and suffering as he inconsolably sniped, “He’s a state of every negative energy manifesting from Jenova that refuses to purge itself from Gaia.”

The way this had been phrased…Sephiroth wasn’t…he wasn’t a virus…he wasn’t the problem…

“It wasn’t accomplished with ease, rather, with extreme frustration. There were many trials and errors, and numerous lives had to be taken to feed the process, but they didn’t matter.” Pacing so silently it could’ve seemed as though he’d learned to float and levitate, Vincent peeked and snuck in odd glances at Zack from time to time. The raven-haired male appeared disturbed, and when his confidence shriveled away, causing for him to break eye contact, Vincent pointedly stared at Cloud.

“All that mattered was the future; what they would create…what they eventually created. Every life lost was just another steppingstone to victory. All in the name of ‘science’.”

Pointing at him, Aerith pointed out shrewdly, “You mentioned the Shinra scientist Hojo! What do you know about him?”

Snarling when the name bounced into his ears, Vincent turned away from her as he cried out to the ceiling, “The creation of the monster was no accident. That… _abomination_ …that man for years had been trying to create a creature so deadly.” Eyes swarming like a raging pool of blood, he threw out venomously, “The quest for an indestructible SOLDIER; the project’s goal, the assignment’s ultimate concern was only that.”

Cloud’s eyes wandered over to find Zack hovering in the doorway. The young ex-SOLDIER looked so pale and sickly, almost a withered husk of his formal self. There didn’t seem to be any cause for it; he wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t losing blood, and yet he was melting away.

“They were simply trying to enhance pre-existing human genes, breeding them with Jenova cells.” Vincent’s explanation pointed out Cloud’s worst theory; the bodies, the decomposing corpses, all of it happened to be for the creation of the monsters.

Eyes wandering the room, though not intentionally landing on anything, Vincent expounded rigidly in his stance, “The demon wished to make them better. But science was said to be experimental, and one thing led to another.” Greed and hatred clouded his eyes, but it was associated with discussing Hojo. Vincent’s resolve had nearly shattered like fragile glass while he exclaimed, “Before they knew it, humanity created the first monster. It was their first, and it would be their last.”

_‘The fire, Nibelheim…Sephiroth…’_

It all made sense because it would be the reason for their downfall, and it had become so.

…Would it happen, again? Would history repeat itself?

Alert, suddenly, Vincent stretched his neck as he snapped at everyone aggressively, “You should have your answers, now.” Pointing out the door, he urged them vehemently, “Leave, now!”

Shaking her head, Tifa at the very last minute hastily threw out, “Come with us!”

“Tifa!” Barret nearly shook her as he boisterously roared, “We don’t even know who the hell he is! You’re willin’ to risk our lives by trustin’ him?”

Nodding plaintively, Vincent added, “Listen to your leader. Be gone, for I must return to my rest and think on my corruption and sins.” He turned away from them, and before Tifa, Barret, or anyone else could offer another word, Vincent growled testily, “You have an ailing one; attend to them.”

All eyes fell on Cloud, but then Zack hissed crossly from the doorway, “C-come on! We should go!!” Staggering, he nearly tripped over his own feet, never once even looking back. Concerned, naturally, Aerith flew out right after him, trying to slow him down.

Holding onto his shoulder, Tifa tried escorting Cloud out of the cloistered room, next, but they were both stopped dead in their tracks when Vincent called out to them.

“Wait!”

Simultaneously, Cloud and Tifa paused, and Barret knocked into them. “The fu—”

Sliding past him too gracefully it appeared he was levitating and floating once again, Vincent met Cloud’s scowl with a calm, yet reserved look of his own. Nodding slowly at the trenchant young man, he whispered in measured breaths, “Will you be seeking out Hojo?”

Raising her arm, Tifa shrieked, “Of course! We’ve seen him, before, but he slipped by!”

In agreement, Cloud added, “We need to talk to him, and we’ll find him.”

Rolling his eyes, Barret cried out in defeat near them, “Great. More crazy shit to do, and more crazy assholes to find.”

Looming over Cloud, when Vincent lay his hand far too purposefully above Cloud’s arm bearing the nasty Geostigma, the older male held an enchanting light in his eyes. It was both endearing and repulsive to some extent as it danced over Cloud’s perplexed visage, and the troubled warrior didn’t know how to manage himself as he stood peering up into Vincent’s face. This time, he made sure their eyes didn’t meet.

Lips pursed, Vincent proclaimed, “I shall accompany your group, then. If there’s a way I can make peace with my own enemies and nightmares, and if there’s perhaps a chance that this man can answer for his crimes, I’ll seek it.”

Curtly, Cloud stated, “Fine.”

Vincent’s smile wasn’t a welcome sight. Not in the least bit. It was widely growing on the face of a man who knew far too much without alluding to anything.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

By the time they’d made the way back to Wutai Village in the nightfall, things had taken a turn for the worse. Smoke rose above the entire area, casting an ominous shadow over the land. Women and children ran about screaming in terror, while a few warriors tried escorting them to their own homes for safety and shelter. At face-value, while it was confusing in the worst of ways, the answers hit everyone as the members of Avalanche found Godo and Zor barking out orders to any remaining Wutai warriors. Pushing and shoving them about while they handed out weapons quickly, the Wutai leader’s distraught eyes landed on them in no time.

Tearing away from his men, he lunged at Barret in sheer desperation. “My daughter!” he gasped and heaved out at the height of his distressful woes. “Th-they took Yuffie!!”

Storming toward them, Zor let out a mighty growl as he mutinously exclaimed, “It was Don Corneo! The asinine bastard was spotted before, and he has Yuffie!” Frantically skittering about, he waved his arms as he belted out, “Intruders are here, as well! They must’ve followed Don Corneo!”

“The Don?” Disbelief ran through Barret, present in his fractious body posture and stance as he gazed across the village. A few odd creatures unleashed by Shinra chased smaller dogs and cats, while warriors who had weapons fired and shot at them repeatedly. Noises across the village blasted through; glass broke, firecrackers went off when Doomrats and Wererats jumped on them, and Wrath Hounds and Bloodhounds growled and snarled at civilians, as though herding them around the village like they were cattle.

Hands quivering, Godo faced all the chaos as he wept to the sky, “Look at what’s happened!! Our home! Our land!” Hyperventilating, now, he begged as he collapsed on the ground, “Please! My daughter! She’s all I’ve got!!”

Eager to stay optimistic, Tifa announced bravely, “We’re here to help!”

“This ain’t the work of Don Corneo,” Barret pointed out as he finished studying all the damage and destruction about. “This here has Rufus Shinra written all over it.”

Throwing himself onto his knees, Godo wailed like a beast, “I don’t care who did this! I want my child! YUFFIE!!” As he wailed and cried frenetically, Red bounded from the top branch of a tree, leaping right before Godo with agility and grace. 

Nudging the Wutai leader while he lost himself to his heavy tears, Red willingly offered, “I’ll go find them, sir. I promise.”

“I’m going, too!” Zor volunteered as he strongly helped Godo up to his feet. “Yuffie’s my childhood friend, and I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Proud of this plan, Barret was somehow impressed and inspired enough to offer his own aid. Patting himself on the chest, he stated to Godo, “I’ll go with them. They’re weak, but Red here especially has a good heart to go after his one true love.”

This time, Red swiped with his claws aimed at Barret, who skipped away a mile in the air as he roared at Red in raw anger. Godo lost the ability to speak shortly thereafter and was quickly taken away by a few warriors before he fainted.

While the rest of the village slowly began surrendering to destruction and chaos, Aerith held her Bladed Staff powerfully. Magic was already surging from her veins, and she seemed ready to fight for Wutai.

Calling after Barret while he followed Zor and at least half a dozen Wutai warriors, Tifa panted out urgently, “Don’t be gone for too long, Barret!”

Pointing at her, he nodded as he bellowed, “Watch over Marlene!”

While Avalanche was temporarily divided, they still fought with their pride and spirits as one unit. Aerith and Tifa encountered more beasts, but with Cloud’s keen and swift delivery of Firaga, they kept the hounds at bay before they hurt anyone. Tifa knocked them out, while Aerith banished them in mists and clouds of white smoke. It was a job well done that they’d followed through with plenty of success, just as before on copious occasions.

Even Biggs participated as much as he could, and the courageous young man partook in his own methods of trying to wear down the Shinra warriors in his own brilliant ways. Cleverly, he used his wit well by throwing dirt in the eyes of a burly, heavy warrior dressed in Samurai armor. As the aggressor had been distracted, Biggs kicked him roughly in the gut, effectively sending him splashing down at the bottom of a large pond. He held his own wonderfully while he then tricked four other warriors into chasing him, ducking and dodging their arrows, shots, and sword swipes until they wore themselves out. Once their stance was broken, Biggs rounded on them quickly by pushing down their way a cart filled with flaming hay and wood, knocking them all out immediately.

Cloud was troubled as they fought, however. No matter how hard he focused and remained vigilant to absorb his task, he began to worry for Sephiroth. Was he here, now? Truthfully, he hadn’t searched around his environment, much. There never was time. Soon, Shinra had sent in after the beasts a horde of samurai troops. The infernal ninjas weren’t easily defeated, but Tifa’s mighty kicks and punches proved fatal in the end.

Irritably, Cloud remembered the newest ‘member’ of their team, and when Tifa had been cornered by a few warriors, the irate youth screamed out to Vincent, “Aren’t you going to do something?!”

Eerily watching him, without much of an effort, Vincent aimed his handgun forward, and the shots he fired weren’t wasted. They pierced through armor, knocking the warriors back, and Tifa regained her strength enough to beat them down with quick jabs. Exuberantly, Aerith wasted no time using Lustrous Shield. She conjured a large magical shield that successfully kept the rest of the enemies at bay and prevented projectiles from harming herself and Tifa.

Sliding his handgun over his stretched left forearm and shooting down another nefarious warrior who’d been trying to attack Aerith, Vincent randomly spoke out, “Cerberus has never failed me; a constantly reliable friend through thick and thin.”

Stealthily, he made his way across the expanse between a large bridge and a burning pagoda. The eaves high above crashed down, but they didn’t even dare to land on Vincent’s frame as he shifted himself about. He walked forward with all the confidence of an ethereal creature, far too sentient for this world.

Cloud assumed he meant his weapon had a name, but there wasn’t time to go over that, now. One by one, Vincent’s perfect aim blasted through flesh, bone, and muscle, and he showed no signs of stopping. Clearing a path in the center of the village for Cloud, when he shot down the last warrior, he leaned into Cloud far too closely for the aggravated young man’s comfort.

Coughing as the fumes and gunpowder from the weapon wafted into his face, he ducked when a Lesser Drake swooped at him, but Vincent shot it clean in half as it circled around his messy hair. Heartlessly, he sneered down at Cloud, wrapping his inhuman arm about his waist. The limb curled almost intimately and intentionally up along his stomach, and then settled over his Geostigma.

The fireworks accidentally set off blasted and echoed in the sky, and when Pyrexial Salamanders leapt up over rooftops, they ignited the straws, bamboo doors, paper doors and windows, setting ablaze to everything. The dark smoke smothered all, practically, but Vincent wasn’t troubled by it as he gazed deeper into Cloud’s eyes. The way he was holding and staring at Cloud enabled the terrified young man to feel as though Vincent was using his ethereal, supreme powers to abrasively glower into Cloud’s essence, bearing it right open like a sacrificial lamb on the altar.

The idea never failed to stir a grim kind of amusement from Vincent as it crossed his mind. If anything, as Cloud glared back at him, he knew they should’ve been able to understand each other, been able to find some kind of relief from all the shared pain and carnage, but they were so often just wrapped up in their own wars and pasts that they never even noticed the rest of the bleeding hearts around themselves. If Vincent actually cared enough to discover his darkest secret, he might have held it against Cloud. Worried about just that, Cloud tried fighting out of his grip, but it was useless when Vincent’s metallic claws dug into his clothes.

“W-what—”

 _“Nothing in this world is fair.”_ A besmirched voice Cloud knew too well protested as Cloud finally managed to lay both hands on Vincent’s shoulders. He was making to get away, but the taller, stronger man-turned-weapon swiftly turned the short adolescent back around to face himself.

“Let me help you,” he offered breathlessly, searching Cloud’s face for any kind of reluctance, but all he found was a tortured, augmented kind of acceptance. Acceptance not for Cloud’s own plight or fate, but for something else looming close by.

Brusquely, a few feet away on a crumbling rooftop, Sephiroth landed, his dark wing already extended like a weapon, itself. Once he righted himself at the highest point of the roof, he let his silver hair flow with the currents of the breeze, shining magnificently in the pale moonlight. His intensely emerald eyes sparkled, reflecting the glow of the magical moonbeams. He was a vision come to life; born of flesh but with the countenance of a god. Saying nothing, he carefully assessed the sights going on below with no expression on his face. Sephiroth was the ultimate stoic, keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself and focusing his entire being on seeking out his other half.

Upon scouring every bit of burning land below, his eyes eventually caught sight of both Cloud as well as Vincent Valentine. Stiffly, Sephiroth froze, eyes zeroing in maliciously on the taller male next to Cloud. Animosity reigned and governed every bit of his flesh and every long limb as he took to tossing Vincent a smoldering look. That look alone communicated what words never would be able to.

_Let them destroy themselves, from the inside out._

Vincent didn’t appear to sense Sephiroth’s presence…at first, or so Cloud incorrectly assumed. The taller, raven-haired mystical man had been gripping him so roughly that Cloud was certain he would snap clean in half. Curling him closer, Vincent’s eyes swept once from Cloud’s head to his feet, and then he suddenly turned and channeled his blood-red eyes to the rooftop.

They were both alone, weren’t they? Creatures without another soul like them in the world. If Vincent had any pity for himself, he might’ve had some for Cloud, too.

In the background, things were dying down, as the skilled Wutai warriors pushed against Shinra operatives, Samurai, and deadly ninjas. Aerith’s screams for Zack to get up rang through the air like an explosion all over Midgar. Cloud knew he should’ve been attending to them, but he couldn’t; not when Vincent and Sephiroth were now openly scowling at one another.

It wasn’t his imagination; Vincent was tipping his head in a peculiar manner, fringe bangs messily falling over his eyes, but he still managed to work a caustic sneer onto his face as he let out an acerbic, scathing chuckle. Sephiroth returned the deadly look with one of his own even more toxic than its predecessor. The way in which Sephiroth eyed Vincent should’ve been with magic and intent enough to totally annihilate the other man…

Though he didn’t completely turn away, Vincent spoke randomly, his words seeking no audience and target. “Atoning for sins does not mean that you have to turn into an unfeeling creature. Just because you love a woman does not mean that you cannot also love a man…” Pausing in his musing, his lips pressed back in a tight seam over his teeth, but he then revealed them almost as though a feral side of himself was about to erupt and chase Sephiroth down, with every intent set on drawing blood.

Cloud was dizzily hanging and clinging onto his lucidity, while Vincent let his piercing red eyes meet with Sephiroth’s ferociously irate emerald ones. When Cloud let out a tiny whimper breathlessly, Vincent finally broke free of Sephiroth’s essence, and rounded on the youth. Cyanic eyes met crimson ones, but the intensity and fierceness never died down between them. Vagarish eyes traveling to the Geostigma again, when Vincent reached out to touch it, Sephiroth snarled and unsheathed his Masamune in a warning.

“Ahh,” Vincent purred ravenously, eyes feasting on the mark greedily, “I knew I wasn’t wrong; you _do_ have an ailing one to attend to…” As he finished his point, he hugged Cloud against his chest, and his eyes targeted Zack as he leaned against Aerith, badly suffering from a wounded state.

A ghost of a smirk toyed with the corners of Vincent’s mouth, but Cloud assumed it was just his own imagination overworking itself due to heavy exhaustion and stress. He was beyond concerned now that Sephiroth was near, malice and vitriol seeping and oozing out of him, rolling off his shoulders in waves and masses as he espied Vincent holding onto his bond-mate. Though unable to do anything but minaciously glare, the hatred was thick and unpleasant enough between the two men to be sensed from miles away.

Lips hovering closer to Cloud’s ear, Vincent stopped himself only when they were half an inch apart. “You’ve nestled with sin; I can see it has left its mark all over you.”

Vincent Valentine, the self-styled, emotionless ghoul, smirked elegantly before the taciturn, brooding look returned unto himself. Curtly nodding at Cloud, with his good limb, he raised a few fingers, and he gently pressed the digits into Cloud’s forehead. Aiming right for the center, with only the smallest bit of pressure applied, Cloud’s eyes rolled back into his skull, and he was out like a snuffed candle.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The sulfur burned Cloud’s eyes and the ash choked his lungs, threatening him with the last tendrils of unconsciousness. Coming to, Cloud stirred as the first sight that greeted his sore mind and tired gaze happened to be Vincent Valentine kneeling by his bedside. It seemed like he didn’t care about the conditions and pandemonium around them. Evidently, he paid no heed to the frantic shouts emanating all around Wutai; he was kneeling as though deeply in the midst of praying. Cloud was able to make out some of the cries of pleas of others yelling out for their loved ones, and it left him feeling quite disturbed. None of it affected Vincent, however.

Sitting up carefully, Cloud barely felt anything as Vincent stared into his rapidly widening, mako-tainted eyes, rendering the frightened young man unable to look away. For a moment, it felt as if the world stopped turning, time ceasing to flow. If Cloud tried, he was sure Vincent could’ve peered into the very fabric of his soul. Averting his eyes, he knew he didn’t want that. To even be around someone as introspective as Vincent felt like utter betrayal when he thought of those green portals and that pale hair. They told stories Cloud had thought long forgotten. Stories he somehow wished he could forget.

Gazing around the room, he found that they were truly alone, and he pushed the sheets off his frame as he steadied himself back on his feet. “Where is everyone?”

Coolly, Vincent replied, “Safe.”

No other words were offered, but Cloud had already grown accustomed to how reserved and terse Vincent was. The man wasn’t the most skilled in terms of communication, but for well-intended purpose rather than whim. Anything he said, he chose his words and timed it properly for it to truly leave a remarkable impact. This wasn’t just any random man among them, now.

Knees wobbly, Cloud righted himself as he winced from the pain throbbing in his left arm. The last thing he vividly remembered was that Vincent had in fact seen both the Geostigma, as well as Sephiroth. There was no denying it.

The crestfallen expression was already eating away at his face, as did the guilt stirring in his heart. With too much resentment pointed at Vincent for discovering Sephiroth, Cloud rudely bit out, “What do you want from me?”

Blankly, Vincent hung his head, placing his handgun back in its holster as he moved away from the bed. “I only wish to offer you my gratitude, and then I must bid you all farewell.” 

Typical of all argute and ‘mysterious’ people. This enigmatic man was no different, and while Cloud wasn’t entirely ungrateful for his efforts, he had to pause in wonderment as to where Vincent Valentine was going to, next. Perhaps he had his own demons to confront…

Quickly, the question slipped out of his mouth before the querulous youth had even comprehended how and why. “Where will you go, then?”

Though he hadn’t expected for Vincent to be so forthcoming, the raven-haired male proved to be quite amicable to provide his answer. “I shall return to you all, if that’s your fear, but there’s something I must do, first.” Solemnly, he lowered his gaze in perhaps submissiveness, but his dark eyelashes fluttered as he moved them rapidly.

Cloud also turned his eyes onto the floor near his own feet, but he had nothing sagacious or even compelling to offer. This was a highly private individual, and Cloud wasn’t one to push and pry for answers that weren’t his concern. Interrogating someone was entirely different in comparison to poking his nose in matters that he had no business in.

Respectfully, however, Vincent declaimed, “I still must atone for sins I have committed. When you all happened upon me, I was kept down within the manor to atone for the wrongs I had committed against someone I swore to protect.”

That wasn’t exactly transpicuous by any means, and Cloud had no idea whom Vincent was referring to. If he had to wager, he would’ve assumed it was a woman…perhaps his own child or sibling?

Harshly, almost, as he regaled his memories over to himself silently, skipping over whatever pains still haunted him, Vincent eyes nearly began to boil with hatred. “I failed…that damn man killed me, and I failed. Because I was unable to stop it, she was tortured, her child ripped from her arms before she even had a chance to hold it. Because of my weakness, I was turned into a monster!” Vincent motioned to the metal claw hanging to his side. He then swept his hand over his face in a defeated manner. “But I do not wish to speak of such things. I must spend my time there, trying to make right what went wrong.”

A woman? A child? Nervously, Cloud swallowed before he croaked in awe, “I th-think I know who you’re talking about.” Referring to his own ‘visions’ and dreams, he scratched his neck out of a move of anxiety, hating that beneath Vincent’s scrutinizing gaze, every little thing he said and did was being assessed to the ends of the planet.

Awkwardly, Cloud fumbled with his nascent words, aiming to be clear, but knowing he was opening himself to rambling incoherently. “I keep seeing a woman who is pregnant. She sings this song…it’s so sad, and I’ve also heard—”

The wind suddenly howled, creating a pained growl that rose above Cloud’s voice. Vincent appeared to be listening to the sounds of nature more than he was to Cloud. Tiny wrinkles formed in the corners of his eyes and beyond the wisps of dark hair that made up his bangs, there was an expression of fleeting torment.

“Guilt holds me here; the knowledge that I should have done something to help the woman I loved holds me here. I can no longer face the world of the living with a clean conscience. My punishment is to spend an eternity walking through the realms of my own sorrow, with my guilt fully intact, and there’s nothing else I can do.” Vincent turned and began practically levitating toward the door, but before he could touch the handle and exit, Cloud stopped him by draping an arm over his hand.

Not at all frightened or weary to touch the oddity of his other limb, Cloud softly inquired, “H-how will we call you if we need you again?”

Staring emptily at the door, Vincent sighed desolately. “I’ll find you. Duty beckons me, so for now, I must leave and attend to other matters.”

He hadn’t said much else, but Cloud knew that Vincent held wisdom behind his eyes, especially regarding Sephiroth. Searching through every inch of his mind and the memories, Cloud had theorized that the woman with the brown hair, brown eyes who often sang out to him was more than likely Sephiroth’s biological mother. She wasn’t Jenova, but she was someone Vincent had cared for and loved. Already, he’d learned so much about the man he was connected to spiritually and emotionally.

What else was there to learn? What could Vincent teach and tell him? Eagerly seeking out that hidden knowledge, Cloud swiftly stopped himself again even without understanding how and why he’d done so. No matter what, the words never came through, for what could he say, truly? His personal observations and summaries were questioned, now, and every little conclusion he’d drawn about Sephiroth based on past experiences were proving to be a falsehood.

That wasn’t Sephiroth; he didn’t know the real Sephiroth.

 _‘Do I know Sephiroth? Or is it that even Sephiroth has no idea who he is anymore?’_ The possibility struck him like a bolt of white-hot lightning candescently emanating through his head down to his toes. What _did_ he know of Sephiroth? Beyond the surly, silver-haired male’s passionate pursuit for power, beyond his venerous greed to become one with Jenova, what else was there? Was that even what he was seeking, now? Had Sephiroth started out this way, or did his memories paint an entirely different picture?

Cloud knew he was capable of pain. Sephiroth had shown lately that he _could_ feel things. He wasn’t as cold and aloof as he liked to have people believe. He felt many things, he sensed so many feelings from his bond-mate, and he could empathize with Cloud to some degree. He _was_ even able to bleed! Sephiroth wasn’t a monster; he was _human._

He could love…that love which Cloud had seen Sephiroth extending for Angeal and Genesis was always there; it was just buried along with decades of pain and grief. Sephiroth had been subjected to torture and who knew specifically what other horrific experiments and trials Dr. Hollander and Professor Hojo had forced him to suffer through, but in the end, he was stronger!

Sephiroth wasn’t a god; he’d been tricked, fooled, and errantly beguiled into believing a lie. Forced by his own genetics to become a killer without honor. A murderer. A monster. But how was one expected to fight a lie that seemed true on even a cellular level? How could the voice of a lover penetrate the murderous fog that shrouded the mind of a madman? How could it prevail?

Could it, if at all?

And yet, he incessantly wished he could have done something more. If only he’d seen the signs earlier, maybe right before the great blaze struck down Nibelheim, he could have...things would’ve turned out differently.

Regrettably, Cloud thought to himself, _‘Maybe I failed, too. If only I had said something back then…maybe to Zack, even…we could’ve helped Sephiroth…maybe if I had done something back then, I would still be with him, living happily in Midgar right now. We would still be working for Shinra instead of trying to take it down. We would belong. Life would still be perfect, and no one would have died…’_

All too quickly, things seemed to regain their normal tempo; the brief eternity in which Cloud had stood, transfixed, had abruptly passed. The world would wait for no one, and he knew it. And how he hated it so very much…he was powerless to stop anything, and interminably would be.

As uncomfortable and unhappy with the power imbalance and hopelessness as he was, Cloud realized that Vincent had at least given him the comfort and decency of listening to him. Absorbing his words as he had, Vincent let them sink, and he played into the time between them both relatively well. As a patient creature, he bowed his head in a clean move of homage and respect to Cloud’s thoughts, both unspoken and spoken.

Surprisingly, he didn’t say a word about Sephiroth, but Cloud felt grateful for that. Blanks and confusion were all he had when he thought of Sephiroth in all this, and had Vincent said a word about the subject, Cloud knew he would’ve combusted and imploded. This was too much to take on too soon.

Without further pause, Vincent opened the door, and he became a part of the abditive darkness lingering in the hallway. “Goodbye, Cloud Strife. I promise, we shall see one another soon.” With that uttered, he was gone. Vincent had disappeared, leaving Cloud alone once again.

As he inched back into his vacive room, Cloud trembled, almost expecting for Sephiroth to reveal himself and replace the soothing presence that Vincent had served, although temporarily. Nothing of that sort unfortunately happened. Not wanting to stand out in the wind, Cloud turned to shut his door, when a hair-raising feminine scream broke through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I have a nasty feeling that people will hate me for the next chapter.


	34. Broken Songbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feck. Alright, so there’s no ‘gentle’ way I can present this chapter. I’m sure I’ll be pissing some of you off by the end of this particular chapter, so all I can say is I apologize. I hope more of you can stick around and be patient to see this entire story out, but I’m totally anticipating people being disappointed or upset. I had to make certain choices for this work since it’s kind of my own way of interpreting the after-events of the remake, and not everything that occurs is good. Just know, it wasn’t any easier on me writing specific bits!

He knew it was Aerith screaming before he even found her room. When he burst through the door, weapon drawn and ready, the last thing in all his existence Cloud was expecting discover was Aerith standing in her nightgown, pressed against a wall while trembling and wailing out in terror. A few feet down on the floor happened to be a dark cloaked figure, writhing and moaning in pain.

Tifa arrived next at the scene, standing beside Cloud rigidly, ready to take on perhaps as she’d assumed to be more intruders and soldiers. She too was just as stunned and hit by the sight of the pale figure squirming about in the middle of the room.

Unable to bury and suppress her high-strung emotions, Aerith crumbled down on her knees, nearly drowning in her own heavy sobbing as she rocked over and over on her bum. “ZACK! ZAAAACK! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

Finally breaking out of her stupor, Tifa yelled out in a shrill tone, “Zack?! Where is he?”

Pointing at the sickly figure, Aerith shrieked and rasped brokenly, “THAT’S ZACK!!”

It sounded too bizarre, and Tifa immediately cast doubt. Trying to remain open and calm, she gently approached her friend as she empathetically whispered, “Aerith! That’s not true! Zack’s just—”

Tugging on the hem of her nightgown, Aerith squealed when the odd individual on the floor tried grabbing at her. Tifa held onto its arms, yanking them back while Aerith nearly leapt up a foot into the air.

Tears were now dripping off her chin and cheeks like a waterfall, the dewy, moist drops as ortund and round as small rocks before splattering like bright, tiny diamonds at her feet. Shaking her head, she profusely denied, “That is _NOT_ my Zack! He’s g-gone!”

Immediately upon hearing these words, Cloud knelt and began making his way to the figure, muttering maledictions to himself as he felt his nerves exposed like a gaping wound. He’d seen such a creature, before. It dawned on him quickly as he turned the gasping, moaning figure shrouded in the dark cloak onto its back. It appeared to be male, but its skin was ghostly white, and its eyes were blown open wide. On its left arm, the number ‘27’ had been branded just like all the others…

“ZAAAAACK!” Realizing it was himself who’d been shouting in a tristisonous manner as though on the last strand of his life, Cloud desperately shook the cloaked, ill man as he repeatedly cried out for Zack. Tifa tried to stop him, and Aerith crawled on her knees as far away from them as she could. Holding her hands over her ears tightly and firmly to block out sounds of their screams, she sobbed harder than anyone had ever seen.

The elocutionary situation broke Cloud. All this chaos and madness finally launched the last killing blow. Shattered, the young man began searching through the room for Zack, but it was no use. He wasn’t here, and although he was confused, nervous, and panicked, he knew for a fact that Aerith and Zack shared a room together. There was no logical, feasible way for a stranger to waltz into the room, abduct Zack, and all without Aerith finding out.

Groaning in misery, the ailing man squirmed, worming about on the floor before he ceased moving. Worried whether he was still breathing or not, Tifa leaned in to check, and as she did, the man lifted a frail arm in the air. It trembled violently like a thin branch caught in a horrific tornado, ready to snap off at the elbow. Coiling and curling into a fetal position, the man let out one last grunt before he closed his eyes and slowly began dissolving right before their horrified eyes. Bits and pieces of his flesh seemed to just melt away and fly up, his withering form soon disappearing like ashes in the wind.

It was almost as though he’d never been there, and they were all experiencing a nightmare that was slowly ending along with the glittering remnants floating away and crumbling into tiny particles.

Already stumbling out the door while Tifa held onto the sickly man’s powdery ashes left behind in his dark cloak, Cloud gathered his stamina for the worst. He knew this dance too well. They’d all seen it countless times. The Whispers whisked around him, but they seemed to sense how irate and mad with frenzy and anger he was. They didn’t dare trifle with him and get in his way as Cloud ran down the long halls. They’d never been this long and narrow before, but through the lens of anger, anything was possible. Misery and torment were his only companions until he ran out of places to go.

Sephiroth abruptly stood glaring viciously at him at the very end of the corridor, and all too quickly, Cloud returned the look. They’d nearly skipped through days and weeks of their enticing bonding brought on by giving into the temptation of propinquity, their intimacy forgotten, each gentle touch carelessly scattered into the night. Adversarial, tyrannical natures reared their ugly heads. This was all they’d known. Since he could form his first coherent thought, Cloud understood that things weren’t ‘fair’. Notions of ‘fairness’ never existed in this world, especially not when Sephiroth was involved.

He was but a damn fool to think otherwise. Things were clearer, now, and he was livid so much that his form and system could hardly contain his own madness.

Shoulders bunching up and stance ferocious like a feral animal, Cloud rabidly barked at his foe, “YOU! This was your doing!! _You_ did this, you bastard!!” Already, Cloud felt he had great reasons to castigate for Sephiroth’s mendacity, and he was going to see to it that he dragged the answers out of the older male.

Sephiroth didn’t even deny or doubt it. Standing a few feet before Cloud, the taller male, just as deep in his own burning anger didn’t even move out of the way or dodge when the blonde charged at him. Mightily drawing his Buster Sword, Cloud growled a bitter, caustic sort of noise and flew through the air at Sephiroth. The distance was already too small between them, but Cloud was steadily advancing. The space wasn’t what occurred to himself in the throes of anger and resentment; Zack’s fate and memories were what motivated and pushed the warpath on. Destruction and calamity were all he saw as he raised the sword with both hands over his head.

Zack was smiling at him, laughing with him, coming to his aid and defense whenever Cloud had been picked on a few times. Zack never let anyone in SOLDIER bully Cloud for not being as strong and as fast as the rest of them. Forbearance and patience were the ways in which Zack gazed fondly at Cloud. Anytime he lay a hand on his shoulder, it was a comforting one, and one of intimate friendship. Zack would _never_ betray him, and yet he’d done the worst thing…being with Sephiroth, bonding with him…this man was responsible for Zack’s disappearance! This man—no, this monster had taken Zack away from them all!

Sephiroth still hadn’t moved. Cloud didn’t care if he impaled his bond-mate anymore, even if he had to do so a million times. As far as his vitriol and revenge was concerned, it didn’t matter who Sephiroth was any longer. The only thing he saw and recognized when he scowled scathingly at Sephiroth was the man who’d been responsible for taking _everything_ away from them all. Now, Aerith’s heart and feelings were involved, and Cloud was going to see to it that he defended her honor.

…Just as Zack had obtained the promise from him…

Thunder roared in the sky, the icy rain beat down on his neck and shoulders. As Cloud saw himself on the soggy earth at his wounded friend’s side, he knew what had happened, then. They _had_ been experimented on against their will by Professor Hojo…Zack was always stronger! He’d been the one who helped make their escape from the Shinra Mansion possible! The lab…they’d been there for _years!_

If only their efforts would’ve prevailed…if only he could remember the rest of it…

“Cloud…”

Sephiroth’s breathy rasp had been the final nail in the coffin. Screaming with everything he had, Cloud drew his strength from his elbows to his fingers, and he lunged down with the Buster Sword.

“DAMN YOU!!”

In a nanosecond, Sephiroth moved at the speed of light. The Masamune’s tip clipped the Buster Sword, and the blades locked. Cloud’s stance was immediately broken in one swift move, but rather than feeling pained and injured, a memory had been birthed when their deadly weapons made contact.

Zack’s voice broke through, and as it rang in his skull, grazing his ears almost akin to a gentle secret whispered between friends, Cloud felt his skin and muscles turning numb. His body was tingling with a light-headed sensation, and as he soared through the layers of his anger and irritation, they diminished substantially. Once all the rage had decreased, Zack’s pleasant face and sweet words were rekindled in his veins like radiant fire.

_“My girl…say ‘hi’ to her for me, if you happen to see her, Cloud.”_

Aerith…he needed to be caring for her. He’d failed her, and he’d failed them all. He didn’t deserve to call himself a ‘friend’. All this time, he’d been distracted and swept up in seductive pleasure so vile and hideous. Sephiroth had given him everything, and he’d mistakenly assumed he was happy. It was always short-lived. The other shoe had dropped, and this time, Cloud didn’t think he was going to walk away on both feet with his heart in one piece. The betrayal ran too deeply and too thickly between them all, now. Denial and ignorance were intolerable options.

Most of all, Cloud knew he’d betrayed himself. He was truly and utterly stuck; torn between both sides, between notions of right, wrong, good, evil, the past, the future, war, peace, love, and hatred.

Aerith was right; love and hatred weren’t too far apart, after all.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Sephiroth carried Cloud partly over his shoulder as gently as possible, his legs soon touching the floor once they entered an empty room. The many shelves had formerly held a lot of weapons reserved for the Wutai troops, but due to the commotion and war raging on anew, the room was currently barren.

Handling his bond-mate with care, Sephiroth righted Cloud in his arms, and like Vincent had previously done, the One Winged Angel gently pressed two fingers in the center of Cloud’s forehead. At once, the young man gasped for air, taking in quite a lungful as though he’d been choking. Shaking and sputtering, his eyes searched the room, and eventually landed on Sephiroth.

Mortified, Cloud blushed deeply before he croaked in a gruff manner, “You…g-gave…me…back…my…memories…”

Coughing dryly, he pushed away from Sephiroth, touching his own head and temples as he cringed in sheer pain. His own body was rejecting his tactility, much to his disgrace. Nothing felt real, and Cloud knew that he hadn’t come to terms with the fact that Sephiroth, the individual he’d grown so close to in such a short period of time, had been solely responsible for snatching Zack away from his loved ones and friends.

Behind his eyes flashed Aerith’s weeping, distraught face and sorrowful eyes. The downtrodden young woman was the one grieving the most from this, and all because Sephiroth chose to be cruel…

When the delphically driven, older warrior drew close enough to him, Cloud spun around and gave him a mighty shove right in the center of his chest. “You’ve got some nerve, Sephiroth!!” Cloud felt amazed at how loud and gravelly his voice sounded. Had he been screaming his head off??

On the warpath the more he remained focused on Zack and Aerith, Cloud shoved Sephiroth again as he demanded aggressively, “Bring him back! If this is some sort of weird game or payback because I was doing something that _somehow_ offended you, then tell me and leave Zack and Aerith out of it!”

Coldly regrading him as though he hadn’t been yelling directly in his face, Sephiroth drawled above a whisper, “I can’t _bring_ you anything, Cloud.” Eyes zeroing in on the stunned young man’s irritated visage, the One Winged Angel elucidated without meaning to be vilifying, “Your friend has long since crossed over and moved on. His fate isn’t in my hands.”

The words weren’t acceptable in the slightest for Cloud. Shaking his head once, he cleared his throat as he panted on an urgent note, “No! That’s bullshit!” Digging his fingers into his palms and then his sides, he hoped the pain he was inflicting onto himself would be more than enough to absolve him of his misery and guilt.

Adamantly, Cloud importunately bellowed haughtily, “You _can_ do something! You’re just lying and making excuses!” Hanging onto the experiences that hadn’t ever made sense to begin with, Cloud swiftly added, “You brought Zack to us before, right? You can—”

“I did whatever was necessary in order to set you free from your own restraints and burdens, Cloud.” Refusing to listen to more arguing from the incensed blonde, Sephiroth held up a hand as he continued with his own speech. “Your source of pain was your own ineptitude and inability to come to terms with your past, but you eventually _did._ ”

He had? What was all this, then? What did it have to do with where Zack was, now?

Before he could question or refute it, Sephiroth began explaining and talking once more.

“You noticed something was off about your friend. From the moment he stirred, deep in your heart, Cloud, you knew that something was wrong.” Making his point evident and raw by laying the palm of his own hand over Cloud’s wildly thrumming heart, he paused, but he didn’t dare smile or gleam as he had whenever he’d been triumphant and successful in torturing his nemesis.

Why? Why was Sephiroth looking so conflicted and disturbed?

Eyes bearing into Cloud’s intently, Sephiroth never even blinked as he gently orated, “You ventured to the Shinra Mansion. You _were_ held captive there, Cloud.” His opposite hand which radiated too much warmth found a place over the center of Cloud’s right cheek. Though Cloud knew he should’ve moved away from the gentle touch, everything in his core forced him to remain still and receptive to Sephiroth’s gentle caress.

Sephiroth seemed to want to give Cloud a rundown of his memories. While the younger male’s eyes slowly closed on their own volition, Sephiroth’s soothing voice encased him. “Remember, Cloud. After leaving the mansion, the Shinra Army were ordered to pursue you and Zack. They were to bring you both back.”

Instantly, Cloud answered, “No, they wanted to kill us.”

With utmost sadness, Sephiroth nodded. “Yes, that was the other order.”

He wasn’t even fully capable of handling and controlling his own body right now, just as he hadn’t been able to do anything back then. A catatonic state…was it because of Sephiroth?

Fingers tracing the length of Cloud’s jaw from right to left, and then over again, Sephiroth calmly informed him, “The Shinra Army became too greedy. They ignored the Turks’ orders and chased you, wanting to finalize the capture and obtain the commendation for themselves.”

Yes, as he stated this, regaling all the horrors, it all made sense for Cloud. He’d known Sephiroth enough to differentiate between his lies, patterns of feeding misinformation and his own personal memories. He was accessing them all, now. The rain at his face, back, and neck, seeping through his clothes as Zack looped his arm about his own neck, carrying them both through the mud and coldness. That _had_ been real. Terror and anxiety at the hands of the Shinra Army shooting at them, aiming for them, and trying to end their lives came to him like a brick to the skull.

As he swam through the memories, it was as though Sephiroth was narrating them from afar for him. His smooth, gentle voice was a welcome sound in comparison to the rain pattering down, and the shouts and boisterous cries of the army as they fired away at them.

“You ran, with Zack supporting you. He bore it well, but that young man never had a chance, did he?”

They’d fallen. The Shinra Army had been successful in setting up an ambush on the road along the cliffs overlooking the Midgar Wasteland. While surviving the initial assaults, Zack couldn’t hold them off forever. His friend’s life had been more important than his own, in the end; the ultimate sacrifice. He’d hidden Cloud behind some dark rocks before walking out to confront the military force. Brave…bold…that was the very essence of Zack as Cloud had known him, and forever, that memory would remain.

Fingers digging into Cloud’s shoulders, Sephiroth held onto the youth, as though equally disturbed, distraught, and totally ruined by the memory. “Zack was a commendable young man. Yes, he was truly powerful, and he fought with honor, unlike the Shinra troops.” Channeling his anger beyond Cloud’s memories at the army, then, Sephiroth gave out a deep growl that nearly caused the floorboards to vibrate.

“It was not…to be…the sheer number of Shinra troops took Zack down…”

But he was a fighter. He was a protector…

Seemingly agreeing in his own way, Sephiroth proclaimed, “Perhaps, like yourself, Cloud, the memories and words of Zack’s mentor, Angeal Hewley, the worry over your safety, and the hope of seeing Aerith, his true love again kept Zack going.”

Fearing he would dissolve in a puddle and pool of his own tears, Cloud noticed he’d started sniffling through stinging eyes and a burning nose.

Hooking his fingers deeper into Cloud’s flesh, Sephiroth then hissed icily, “In the end, even that was not enough, and although Zack overpowered and defeated majority of the soldiers, his own end was inevitable, Cloud.”

As the first drops of tears fell, Sephiroth captured them swiftly. Closing his fist around them, he hushed and soothed his bond-mate, but no amount of soothing and comforting, no matter how empathetic and well-intended it’d been was enough to help Cloud. This memory was far too painful and too treacherous. He should’ve done something to save Zack! Why was he always rendered so weak and useless?

Stammering, he tried to speak, but it only came out as a squeal.

“Zack succumbed when the few remaining soldiers critically injured him.” Sephiroth hung his head in sadness, the tip of his nose nearly grazing along the top of Cloud’s unruly hair.

Yes, Zack had been struck down, unable to fight, and dying. Shivering and about to bury his own weapon deeply into his gut, Cloud wailed, “I…abandoned…h-him! I…didn’t…do…anything!!”

Seeing it now before himself, he made out Zack’s wounded, bleeding form discarded atop the cropping of a cliff overlooking the rest of Midgar. Disgraceful…the very apotheosis and epitome of shame and failure. How could he so brazenly and brashly speak to Aerith, let alone look her in the eyes when he’d been so cowardly and pathetic? How?!

As if reading through his very thoughts, Sephiroth gently reasoned, “It’s not your fault. You weren’t to blame, for you were in your own comatose state, so much that even when you were noticed, the other soldiers deemed you unworthy and not even a threat.”

The weakness…it overpowered him, but it’d also saved his life. He remembered their storming and thudding boots pounding repeatedly on the muddy earth as they left him there to head back and report to Shinra. They’d left him there with Zack…Zack was in his final moments, the seconds ticking by rapidly…

Nearly grinding his teeth over each other in his own sharp anger pointed at himself, Cloud spat out thickly, “I…w-was…a c-coward! I h-hid!!”

Shaking him with mild urgency, as though that would somehow aid in Cloud having the points hammered home into his head, Sephiroth leaned into him as he sneered abrasively.

Coarsely, he expounded, “I say otherwise, Cloud! You weren’t given a damn choice; you were suffering the ill-effects of mako poisoning!” Sephiroth didn’t leave room for Cloud’s self-deprecating behavior. Shaking him once more, he wrapped an arm carefully about his waist to steady him.

Not understanding it since pieces were still foggy and hazy, Cloud recalled the poor state Jessie’s father had been in when he’d snuck inside their home to retrieve his Shinra identification card. Was that what he’d been suffering from, too?!

“Zack was aware of his fate, Cloud. He’d already accepted his own end and quite contently.” Running his fingers through Cloud’s hair, Sephiroth pulled their figures together tighter. “That was what he chose, in the end. The love he had for you as his friend outweighed anything and everything else.”

Quivering as he completely let go of his equanimity, Cloud cried out in a muffled sob, “He…wanted…to protect me?”

Sephiroth didn’t even need to answer ‘yes’. It was evident and quite obvious when he tightened his fingers into his bond-mate’s flesh. “He deemed you perfectly worthy of his protection, Cloud.”

That’s why he’d handed the Buster Sword to him, telling him to carry on his dreams and honor as his living legacy.

Pulling away to press his forehead over Cloud’s, Sephiroth sternly stated, “Zack Fair didn’t die for no reason, Cloud; he died on the cliff overlooking Midgar believing in you and your good nature.”

That had marked his recovery from his removed state. That was why he’d come out of his catatonic state…

When Cloud whimpered, Sephiroth hushed him again. “You were suffering from mako poisoning. Zack’s sacrifice and his final stand broke that spell.” Thumbs stroking Cloud’s cheeks up and down tenderly, Sephiroth reasoned soothingly, “You remained by his body until the rain stopped. He didn’t die alone, Cloud.”

Finally finding his voice, Cloud inhaled deeply at least three times, holding onto Sephiroth as he crumbled and broke apart. Sephiroth allowed him to weep steadily for nearly five minutes. The world had stopped moving. Life had ended, but it had also begun anew. The adolescent could feel the changes stirring within his body, but he didn’t know where they would lead him. What would become of him?

Through tears, he blinked a few times at Sephiroth before he commented like a young child, “I…I’m…I c-can feel things…making my body weaker, Sephiroth! This…the toll on…m-my mind…it’s…outweighing s-strength…”

Weak.

Sephiroth potently argued, “You’re _not_ weak, Cloud! Don’t say that to me!” Backing down from sounding acerbic and strident, Sephiroth leveled his own vitriol by inhaling and holding onto that breath. It spun between himself and Cloud, tugging at the pit of their hearts as it only drew them closer together effortlessly.

Almost nuzzling his short bond-mate intimately, Sephiroth exclaimed in a calmer tone, “In all my years, I only laughed at the mere thought of a lowly infantryman accomplishing so much.” Meeting Cloud’s eyes, he offered sincerity and comfort as he elucidated strongly, “You proved everyone wrong, Cloud. You defied _all_ odds and proved yourself worthy throughout all obstacles. You are stronger than I am, in many ways.”

A small blush crept along Cloud’s face, but he turned away sorrowfully from Sephiroth’s deeply penetrable gaze.

With one more firm shake delivered to Cloud’s body, Sephiroth fiercely repeated, “You are _not_ a weak man, and you _never_ were one!”

Shuddering and quivering like an abandoned, insecure child who knew he’d never find solace again, Cloud whimpered as he clung onto Sephiroth.

Desperately, through the second formation of hot tears, he whispered, “What if I lose everything?” Sniffling as he buried his face further and deeper against the older warrior, he wept, “What if I’m losing it and I can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not, Sephiroth?”

Comforting hands soon found their way through Cloud’s hair, massaging a greater portion of his strands before winding down to tenderly massage and soothe Cloud’s aching back. Clockwise, then counterclockwise, the palms pressed down, and then the fingers dipped purposefully before sliding up and dragging his flesh forth.

With a refined, yet equally sad gleam in his eyes, Sephiroth rested his chin over Cloud’s head as he pulled his bond-mate even closer to himself. “Then I’ll take care of you, Cloud.” Pulling away after a moment, Sephiroth snuck an index finger beneath Cloud’s chin so they could gaze at each other.

Rewarding smiles graced their faces, and Cloud was soon overrun with emotions. They were pouring in all at once, heavily overwhelming himself, but also forcing him to act upon their whims. Impulsively, he leaned in to close the gap between their bodies. Looping an arm around Sephiroth’s neck, he balanced himself on his toes as much as he could. Their chests crashed together, and as soon as they made physical contact, Cloud’s powers of logic and reasoning shut off and failed to pull through. His mako-eyes snapped shut, and he drew his face right before Sephiroth’s. Heart beating so loudly and potently that Cloud could both feel it through his sternum and hear it in his eardrums, he couldn’t help but smile when he finally pressed his lips over Sephiroth’s.

The moment he drew back, almost too shy despite his experiences kissing the other warrior many times, Sephiroth eyed him silently. A tiny gleam of indifference was soon replaced by ardent desire. Reciprocating the intimate gesture, Sephiroth’s mouth descended on Cloud’s too quickly.

All of the younger male’s doubts melted away the moment their mouths touched, because the older warrior kissed him both passionately, wildly, but also tenderly in a blurry blend. The One Winged Angel pressed his gentle but insistent wet lips against Cloud’s, over and over until his teeth came down in an impatient bite. That was all it took for the mako-eyed one to be hooked, and he opened his mouth to let this intriguing sensation in.

It was a chaste, small peck for a moment, but then it grew into something more passionate. Deeply affected by the kiss, the silver-haired male cupped Cloud’s soft, hairless cheeks, and he pressed himself even closer over the feverish body. Moaning softly, he planted at least three small, brief kisses before pressing the tip of his tongue over the tight seam of Cloud’s lips.

Passionately responding by opening himself for more kisses, Cloud gently took a step back before worming a hand between his own body and Sephiroth. This unfortunately only inspired and provoked the One Winged Angel to become more aggressive. Biting down on Cloud’s lower lip, he tried forcing his lover’s body back against a sturdy wall before they both collapsed like a puddle of jelly.

Feet shifting back, Cloud felt the wall supporting his weight, and he leaned against it. Towering over him, Sephiroth only broke away when Cloud needed fresh oxygen. Humming in deep seated lust and hunger while Cloud panted amorously, the tall male leaned down and planted a soft kiss in the center of his lover’s chest. When he pulled away, Cloud groaned passionately, eyes glazed over with lust as he arched into Sephiroth’s body.

The rush of air moving into his lungs and then out of his mouth past his lips in a pitiful whimper echoed hollowly through the room, the total absence of sound from the other rooms making each of their movements incongruously loud.

Heeding his cries of desperation, Sephiroth showered Cloud’s neck and chest with searing hot kisses, not at all sparing a single portion of his responsive skin. Soon, his tongue lolled out, trailing warmth and wetness all the way from the center of Cloud’s neck to his jawline.

On fire, now, the aroused young man leapt at his bond-mate. Too much force he hadn’t been ready for slammed into himself in return, and Cloud fell back against the thick wall. Imagination running rampant with adscititious sexual thoughts, he pictured himself in a more comfortable position. He imagined bouncing slightly over a soft mattress before he envisioned the older male eagerly crawling on top of his lithe frame.

Softly cooing and sighing every time Sephiroth kissed his most sensitive spots, Cloud knew he had little time to react and think more clearly to be able to cease this before the situation spiraled out of control.

But it felt so damn good…

Sephiroth had just barely started unzipping Cloud’s dark pants, eager to proceed, when suddenly, like an explosion sounding off in a peaceful, silent night, harsh feminine screams potently rang through the air.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

“CLOUD?! WHAT’RE YOU DOING?!”

Sephiroth and Cloud immediately sprang apart from one another, desperation and unruliness radiating through their panicked moves as they spun around to face whomever had interrupted them. To Cloud’s sheer horror, a most terrified, ghostly white Aerith Gainsborough had been the one to find them in such a position.

From her spot in the doorway, the terrified young woman’s jaw hung open, and it quivered as she pressed her trembling hands to her mouth in an effort to quell her whimpers.

“C-Cloud?! Why w-were you…w-w-with _him?!”_ Eyes darting back and forth between Sephiroth and Cloud, Aerith let out a strained noise before she draped an arm over her stomach. Appearing as though she was either about to faint or choke, she coughed, and nearly crashed to the floor.

“Aerith! Please!” Knowing there wasn’t much he could do to cover this up, Cloud tried approaching her with his arms held up carefully, but she was quick to regain her strength.

Corrosive anger potently spiraling through her eyes and flashing at Cloud, Aerith mightily reprimanded him with a roar. “GET OUT OF MY FACE! DON’T TOUCH ME!”

“Aerith, you can’t—” Cloud had been interrupted when Aerith’s open palm connected brutally with his cheek. The sound of the caustic slap resonated all over the room, but Cloud could only cradle his cheek as he gazed at his friend with total sadness. She had every right to do this, and even Sephiroth seemed to feel that way while he hung back and glared down at his feet.

Trembling as badly as her chin and jaw were, Aerith wailed sharply, “H-how c-could you betray my t-trust, Cloud?! You _know_ w-what’s happened, and you’re _with_ him?!” Pointing at Sephiroth, her eyes widened, and an aggressive, feral snarl poured out of her chest.

As though remembering he’d been in the room with them just now, Aerith screamed potently in a conniption while she grabbed her Arcane Scepter. Aiming one of the most potent magical attacks at Sephiroth’s sternum, she vibrantly got ready to attack, while the older male did nothing to harm Aerith or even defend himself. Almost dully, he moved to the right, and the blast zipped by him, shredding the wall close to Sephiroth’s head into pieces before it exploded and evaporated into thin air.

Shielding himself from it, Cloud vehemently protested, “AERITH! STOP! HE’S NOT EVEN FIGHTING BACK!!”

Accosting him with a stern glare, she hounded him ferociously. Waving her weapon at Cloud, she screamed and hurled her imprecations from the top of her lungs until her face went entirely beet red. Surprisingly, though she sounded ghastly as she howled, she didn’t dare unleash any attacks unto Cloud.

“CLOUD! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” Eyes flowing freely with large, round tears shining like jewels in the light, she stomped her foot a few times before she nearly threw her scepter to the floor in a dull heap. “YOU BETRAYED ME! BETRAYED US!!” Shaking her head back and forth, she rubbed at her eyes with an unsteady hand, so she was able to see both Cloud and Sephiroth.

Pulling a moue of pure hatred and disgust, she this time tried to lunge ahead at the taller, more skilled ex-SOLDIER, swinging her scepter wildly in both hands. She was clinging onto it with such ferocious vehemence that her knuckles turned white. Swinging for Sephiroth’s skull, Aerith leapt above and past Cloud, but he quickly stepped to the side, not even bothering with his weapon in terms of blocking her attacks.

Irritated, Aerith screamed at him as though she was being murdered. “FACE ME, YOU COWARD!!” Fingers stretching out for him like claws, she tried reaching for his face, but Cloud held her back down. Fighting and struggling against him, she roared at Sephiroth viciously, “YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED ZACK, AND YOU’VE RUINED CLOUD! YOU FOUL BEAST!!”

Her cries of anguish and hatred drew Tifa and Biggs into the room at once. Gasping in fright, Tifa paused once she eyed Sephiroth, and then gaped at Cloud and Aerith struggling. “Cloud! What’s going on here—”

Biggs tried to throw a sharp katana at Sephiroth, but the older male swiftly deflected it with the handle of his Masamune. In turn, Tifa charged and fired up her gloves, and she flew at Sephiroth.

“STOP! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!” Cloud knew they were never going to listen to him, not with the way he was shouting out senselessly. There was no reason for them to ever cease attacking Sephiroth. Given their dark history, Cloud knew that he too should’ve been at their side, flinging his weapon at the One Winged Angel, encouraging them all to be strong and use their powers to bring the creature down.

But he couldn’t…by Gaia, for whatever hellish, horrifying reason, he couldn’t, and he refused to see Sephiroth hurt. No longer did it matter how impious, disdainful, and lowly the One Winged Angel had been. Cloud didn’t care whether Sephiroth was a virtuous being or not; he abhorred and rejected the thought of seeing his partner suffering.

Desperately, without anything else left to lose, Cloud threw his head back and belted out from the bottom of his lungs like a caged animal, “STOP ATTACKING HIM! HE’S MY BOND-MATE!!”

The results and reactions he earned were well justified. Tifa caved to her knees, Biggs sounded as though he’d been punched in the gut, and Aerith dropped her weapon. After it clattered to the floor heavily, she charged at Cloud, grabbing the arm bearing the dark, derogatory Geostigma.

Holding it up to her eyes, she shouted monstrously, “I knew it! I _knew_ something wasn’t right when you were asking so many questions about soul bonds and were so withdrawn!” Pointing at his arm, and then into his eyes shrewdly, the cantankerous young woman belligerently screamed, “You were a-always talking to yourself, and y-you lied to me and said you had a girlfriend, when all this time, Cloud, you w-were…” When she paused, turning sickly pale, she dropped his limb as though it were on fire, and she cradled her stomach.

“Oh my…you…with…w-w-with…” Vomitous and balbutient in her speech and appearance, she couldn’t even continue as she inhaled and exhaled sharply, like someone backed into a corner without much room to breathe.

Catching on already even though he likely had no idea what a soul bond was, Biggs squawked inelegantly, “YOU _SLEPT WITH_ SEPHIROTH!?!?” Looking as though he was going to vomit nonstop, Biggs screeched as he turned as white as Aerith, “Cloud?! What the—you had…w-with—”

Tifa broke into her own heavy tears, shoulders shaking violently while she hid her face with both hands. She was crying even worse than the time Cloud recalled her stumbling upon her fallen father. This was horrible…he’d done this to his friends, and he had no answer for them.

Brows furrowing on his forehead in a stern, rigid line, Biggs grabbed at him with his good arm, yanking Cloud right up to his own face aggressively. “YOU BETRAYED US ALL!”

What could he say? Yes, he had shared a bed with Sephiroth on multiple occasions. Yes, he had fraternized with the enemy…their enemy. Anything he offered now would be pointless and more excuses. His poor friends deserved better; he was the one who didn’t deserve them.

While Cloud sadly glared down at his feet, Tifa sobbed unendingly in total defeat, and Aerith grabbed for her scepter again. Though she didn’t attack Sephiroth, she pushed Biggs away as she brazenly exclaimed, “I don’t care about Cloud becoming intimate with Sephiroth! That’s not the point, here!”

Tifa pounded and clawed at the floor, and every time she did, Cloud felt a piece of his heart shattering and breaking until it dissolved into oblivion. Shutting his mouth was his only sound option, but did he ever wish to escape from the redness of the blush pooling and spreading through his face.

Pointing her magical weapon at Sephiroth, Aerith stated wisely, “He not only took Zack away from us, but he also used you, Cloud! Don’t you get it?!”

Scrambling for his words, Cloud rationally began his explanation. “Zack wasn’t killed by him, h-he was—”

Bashing him in the head with her elbow, Aerith didn’t allow him a moment to breathe. Stuck on her own hatred and malice aimed at Sephiroth, she gripped Cloud by the back of his neck as she gestured at the tall male. “Don’t you get it, Cloud?! Haven’t you woken up, yet?!” Eyes red and moist, she sniffled beyond her tears and agonizing emotions as she shouted for all of Wutai to hear, “THIS IS SEPHIROTH!”

Thinking she’d been referring to his identity, Cloud moved away from her crushing grip. “I know that!” he spat back at her semi-petulantly, trying to ignore the way in which Biggs was throwing him the dirtiest of glares.

Carrying on through the argument, Aerith fired out, “This man has corrupted you with his mark and bond, Cloud! That’s why you were getting weaker and more tired! Why can’t you see?!” Whipping her head back and forth from Sephiroth to Cloud again, she bombastically and caustically wailed, “You don’t even understand anything! The soul bond _isn’t_ meant for regular people! It causes fake feelings and only _manufactures_ what _feels_ like closeness if you’re not Cetra!”

Although he didn’t comprehend anything, either, Biggs threw out his own estimate. Brows knotted and furrowed, he gruffly barked, “It made _you_ weak, Cloud, and it made Sephiroth stronger!”

Denying it, Cloud answered quickly, “Th-that was b-because of the bond itself, though! You told me that, Aerith!” Gazing at Sephiroth quickly, he announced, “Sephiroth’s dead! This is—”

“HE LIVES!” Almost slapping him again for his foolishness, Aerith protested with clamancy and a red face, “Through _your_ spirit, he brought himself back, Cloud! How could you be so stupid?!” Shoving him a few more times until he’d nearly bashed into Biggs, Aerith wailed, “HE DRAINED YOU! HE TOOK WHAT HE NEEDED FROM YOU SO HE COULD BRING HIMSELF BACK FROM THE CRATER! THIS _IS_ SEPHIROTH!”

Tapping his skull, Biggs leaned over him as he snarled aggressively, “He’s messed with your head, Cloud! Even I know that!”

Arrogantly, Cloud seethed, not ready to begin indulging in desipience. “You don’t know shit, Biggs!”

“Ask yourself, Cloud!” Aerith retorted as she motioned over at Sephiroth, who was holding his head down and keeping his face hidden away from their inquisitive eyes. “ _He’s_ slowly draining you so he can come back and become one with Jenova to absorb the energy of our planet! Don’t you see?”

The lurching feeling and nausea this time wasn’t to be ignored. His stomach crawled up, and then plummeted down. His heart slid along with his gut, churning and tossing about as though lost in a sea of utter chaos and true madness. It was almost akin to the exact feeling when he knew Nibelheim was burning. That gut-wrenching feeling wasn’t a thing he could escape from, nor was his guilt. The bile rose to his throat, and as he almost tasted how bitter and toxic it was, his oxygen had been cut short. His throat was constricting, and he was decaying in his confidence and trust.

Hands and fingers quivering like they’d never done in his young life, Cloud found himself begging weakly, “S-Sephiroth…p-p-please…tell m-me it’s not…t-tell me it’s not true!”

The long hair fell over his eyes, but when the tall ex-SOLDIER slightly shifted himself so he was facing Cloud, the malicious, sadistic grin Cloud had always been haunted by in his worst and darkest of nightmares was the only thing he saw.

Sephiroth never revealed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh.


	35. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😒Not impressed, Sephiroth.

“Sephiroth! P-please tell me it’s not true!”

The begging and pleading wouldn’t rescue him. Dignity, pride, personality, agency, and comfort were strangers to him, now. A lost, troubled soul in a desolate, cruel world that only knew how to punish without forgiveness, Cloud was rendered truly shattered.

Why wasn’t Sephiroth denying these barbed assertions?! Why wasn’t he fighting back against their harsh accusations? Why wasn’t he doing or saying anything to prove them wrong?! Didn’t he have the power and the will to do so?

“SEPHIROTH!”

That bloodcurdling cry broke through the stillness and even startled Tifa. Though she didn’t move from her spot on the floor, her sobs died down to small sniffles while she blinked up at them all. The tension in the room was suffocating. No one knew what to do with it, and Cloud hated that the longer Sephiroth remained quiet, the more it seemed to be true…this _was_ a part of reality…

 _‘Please, Sephiroth…look at me…’_ The last portion of his trust and love for the silver-haired demon was his last hope of sanity. Channeling his pleas through Sephiroth, he was only slightly relieved when Sephiroth hadn’t shut himself off to his cries. Though there was no barrier, Sephiroth hadn’t ceased grinning like an insane monster.

After an age, Sephiroth raised his head, and he was in fact smirking quite evilly. Lips twisting up in a feral, deranged manner, his features seemed twisted, almost like wire bending and morphing under intense heat or flame. His insolent eyes had even darkened, and a chaotic storm was brewing in the center of his pupils as he smirked at everyone. Without shame and without anything holding him back, he began speaking.

“I believe I’ve been more than patient, but now, my patience is running thin.” Nodding at Aerith, he confirmed, “Zack Fair is no longer with us. You did well to help yourself see, and you broke the spell of the puppet…” Eyes shifting to Cloud, he lewdly and wantonly gazed at the younger warrior before he finished, “…Well, _one_ of Her puppets, anyway.”

Finding her courage and strength, Tifa kicked up into the air, but Sephiroth ducked just as fast. Almost vaporizing since he moved so quickly to the side, he then ended up standing behind her, but he shockingly didn’t lash out with his own attack. She spun around to punch him, but he caught her fist with perfect ease.

Snarling at her menacingly, his ominous tone hissed across the room, “I’m growing weary of this child’s play.” Releasing her, she pushed herself away from him, and his eyes sought Cloud’s. Deeply, he growled at the shocked adolescent, “Your place is now at _my_ side. I tried warning you from the very beginning, but you refused to listen.”

Whimpering, Cloud admonished, “So…s-so that’s w-why you used me? Th-that’s why you b-b-bonded with me?” If the answer would be ‘yes’, he was willing to cut his own throat right then and there.

“Clever lad.” Sephiroth blandly gazed past him as he coldly stated, “I needed someone pure, someone strong, and someone who could hate me enough to devote so much energy and power to reliving and being open to my memories.” Pointing a solid, index finger at his stunned bond-mate and moving it up and down once, Sephiroth’s familiar grin was not one laced with tenderness anymore. Now, it was flooded with something darker and more sinister.

“I needed you for that specific reason, and you helped me, Cloud.” Smiling eerily slowly, his face seemed to portray a deranged, psychotic state as he orated with a gleam in his eyes, “Through your energy, I was brought out of the North Crater, Cloud. I am whole, again.”

“YOU SICK BASTARD! I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF!” On the brink of losing his mind, Biggs lunged at him, but Sephiroth allowed the aggressive male to slide through the air and nearly bash his head into the wall. Aerith cast a protective barrier around Biggs, which had saved his life.

Uncaring, Sephiroth flew toward Cloud, and he snatched his hand in his own. “Enough of this foolishness. We’re leaving.”

Both Tifa’s and Aerith’s abrasive cries of ‘where are you taking him’ were the last things Cloud caught before he was whisked away. Grainy shapes and alamort colors swarmed into his vision, and he twitched as he held onto Sephiroth’s hand. He was sucked and pulled into multiple different directions at once, and he didn’t know where the current was taking him. He could’ve sworn he saw Whispers floating around, their hovering forms revealing red eyes. Whether those were based on Cloud’s imagination or otherwise wasn’t something he focused on. Anger and disappointment called out to him above all else.

Sephiroth had been the root cause of it. In one breath, he’d been responsible for bringing to Cloud renewed joy that made him feel years younger, rejuvenated, energized, and light-hearted. He’d taken away his distress, his woes, his troubles, his sorrows, his torment, almost without even trying. And still, with the same hand, this creature had taken it all away, robbing Cloud of his happiness, his levity, his vibrancy, and his hopes. 

How could he be so cruel?! How could someone whom he’d connected with and loved discard his feelings away so easily? WHY?

In time, they were right back where they started. Cloud and Sephiroth tumbled into a laboratory, and Cloud recognized it as the one he’d first been brought to when he accidentally-through inspecting Jenova-had initiated the soul bond.

Had it _really_ been an accidental occurrence, however? Thinking on it now, Cloud pondered how much of it had been his own doing. Sephiroth may have wanted for him to feel like he’d been the source of their link, but he knew that given what he’d learned most recently, he had to guard himself with an open mind. Though he’d wished and longed to see the goodness and purity within Sephiroth as had been preserved in the memory Cloud visited, there was no arguing the bitter fact that Sephiroth had toyed with Cloud’s mind and perception of what was real and what wasn’t, before.

Once he was back on his feet in the clean, white room barren of much furniture, Sephiroth permitted Cloud to rip his arm out of his grasp. Thankfully, Sephiroth didn’t try to capture him, again, but he was livid and nearly drowning in his own unending rage. Once again, they were eternally at odds with one another, and Sephiroth had now shown his truest form.

Why had Cloud expected for more? Had he truly thought that because of the bond, Sephiroth would care for him in the same way he cherished the older male and thus ending their feud?

Foolish and wishful thinking at its quintessential best.

Pacing about before him, Sephiroth’s shadows seemed to lurk over inch of the room like little phantoms. Espying them crawling about on the walls and floor, Cloud wasn’t left with the same warm feelings that he’d experienced when he’d been with Sephiroth in the Shinra Mansion before. It was as though someone had flipped the switch, and the terrifying version of Sephiroth he’d seen back in the Edge of Creation was now before himself in the flesh.

Cloud didn’t even desire to hold conversation, but Sephiroth spoke out anyway.

Musing out loud, he hissed thinly, “You try my patience. I can only drag out the game for so long, Cloud. It’s enough, isn’t it?”

Unsure of what he was referring to, Cloud mordantly threw back, “Everything we had, _every_ damn thing was based on a lie.” Shoulders bunched up, posture stiff, and eyes burning with deceit matching Sephiroth’s intentions and actions, Cloud coldly asked, “How could you use my trust against me? How could you lay at my side, doing everything you did to me, enjoying my body, all for your own gain?!”

Spinning around so he was facing the irate youth, Sephiroth extended his arms as he sarcastically crooned, “Isn’t that what I’ve always done, Cloud? Hmm?” Rolling his eyes in a move of exhaustion, he sighed dramatically. “My antics may have changed, but my intent has always remained the same. This time, I needed your purity for the purposes of greater elevation.”

Blinking hard at him, Cloud bit out, “You can take the Lifestream and shove it up your—”

“Stupid puppet,” Sephiroth chuckled while shaking his head. Drawing a hand up, he ran his long fingers coyly through Cloud’s hair, the sensation eerily magnetic in its own power and essence. “You have a limited imagination and your stunted mind won’t ever understand lest I spell it out for you.”

Insulting one another was tempting, but it wouldn’t take them where Cloud needed for them to be. Emotionally, he tried appealing to Sephiroth’s better nature. “Sephiroth, please,” he began in a faint cry as weak as his own mind and frail spirit. “You know me! I know you, too! Don’t do this!”

Snarling as he rounded on him, Sephiroth spat ferociously, eyes turning cruel and violent. “You stupid brat! What did you expect to find, here?” Scouring through Cloud’s mako-infused, pained orbs, he stood tall and arrogant as he chided the younger male without remorse and pity. “Did you _really_ think that because you received a few kind words and phrases from me, that meant that I would set aside my own pride and honor?”

This hurt. This was a dreary, lachrymose experience, and the worst one in over five years. Sephiroth was indifferent to his emotions, and whatever traces of affection he’d shown to Cloud were seemingly gone and replaced with ambivalence. Now, the infamous One Winged Angel was luxuriating in Cloud’s suffering, agony, and shame.

Eyeing him as though he weren’t even human, Sephiroth disregarded his concerns callously. Waving a hand at him, he rudely vilified the youth. “You don’t know me; you don’t know much of _anything,_ Cloud. Accept it.”

Pissed off that he’d been interrupted and wronged, Cloud wanted for Sephiroth to shut up just _once._ He despised that smug attitude, that cold grin, those gleaming eyes that held sadistic intentions for him and everyone Sephiroth thought unworthy. He hated how Sephiroth would always look down upon him, and never understand and respect him as an equal. Nothing he could and would do would ever be enough or good in Sephiroth’s versute eyes. He held no value; he had no dignity; he was nothing. Only a tool to achieve something…

Reaching deep down for anything that would cut and maim emotionally, Cloud’s eyes welled up with angry tears as he stated without emotion, “I want you to release me from the bond, Sephiroth.”

Eyes almost round to the point of being risible, Sephiroth gaped at him in puzzlement. “You what—”

“Release us _both;_ I know it can be done, and I want out of this soul bond, otherwise, I’ll do it myself.” Steadily raising his head, he challenged Sephiroth’s stern glare with a smoldering one of his own, wondering how and when he would be able to push through the pain and anguish until his peace and stability had returned to himself.

On the verge of exploding, Sephiroth trembled and fumed as he rasped, “You’re not going to do that, Cloud. You wouldn’t dare do such a stupid thing.”

Although he’d been intending to continue the challenge until he’d gained his victory, Cloud’s eyes swept behind Sephiroth, and over to the tank Jenova’s body was held in. Immediately, the hairs on his form rose to a needlepoint, and a shrill cry of horror escaped himself.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)  
  


Jenova was gone. The sheets and cloaks that had once been draped over the container to almost seal her off from the world had been pushed to the side marginally, and instead of the feminine looking corpse resting there as it one had, now, empty space reflected back at them. It was the greatest insult for Sephiroth, and the most terrifying scene for Cloud. They both knew not when to speak, how to react, or what to even think. They stood together gaping in shock, with Cloud wheezing out odd sounds, and with Sephiroth dropping his detached, icy cold demeanor at once.

Jaw quivering, Sephiroth raised a few quaking fingers, and they twitched and jerked in the air awkwardly as his chest heaved up and down due to his panicked breaths. “Wh-where is…wh-where is M-Mother?!”

Cloud was beyond horrified. He’d _never, ever_ seen Sephiroth this frightened and concerned. To see such a calm, confident pillar of strength this disturbed vicariously instilled doubt and worry within Cloud. More importantly, he knew that Jenova was gone, and this was detrimental for both sides.

Flying at the container, Sephiroth pressed his fingers and nose against the wall of glass as his warm breath fogged up the length of it. “I—it can’t be! Mother! Mother’s really gone!”

Sounding ever so much like a young boy who’d been separated from his mother, Sephiroth screamed in a blend of anger and shock. It was potent and electrifying in the worst of ways to listen to, and Cloud didn’t know how to respond. Weakly, he only took to cowering behind Sephiroth.

Steadily approaching to have a look for himself, he found that it wasn’t another trick Sephiroth had pulled. As soon as he was within close propinquity, the stillness and vacuous silence and space spun back through to him. This was a most awful notion; someone had in fact abducted the body, to do what with it?!

Trembling at all the possibilities, each one worse than the other, Cloud got a hold of himself and located his voice so he could effectively speak. “S-Sephiroth!” Ignoring his own stammering that refused to depart, Cloud asked without meaning to be pushy or demanding, “Where is Jenova?”

His mesquin bond-mate hadn’t even properly been listening. Nearly exploding, Sephiroth pounded on the container wall before he rounded on Cloud. Snatching his sweater front in his palm and fingers, he violently yanked him forth as he drew him near the container. With his right arm still bearing the marble bracelet, Sephiroth banged a clenched fist twice against the container before he gripped Cloud even tighter. If he tugged any harder and deeper, he would’ve been pulling on his flesh.

As the distraught youth winced from the pain, Sephiroth screamed in a deadly and monstrous tone, “She’s gone! I’m left with no choice, now!” Tossing Cloud to the side, though never with enough force and power to harm him, Sephiroth held his head in his hands as he kicked a few times at the bottom of the large tank.

Emitting a rambunctious growl, Sephiroth again lashed out at his younger bond-mate. Still not harming him, he held onto his shoulder, and as he drew Cloud up on his toes, he hissed down cruelly, “This is the way it has to be; this is the way I should’ve done it from the very start…but you…” Releasing a strained, despondent laugh, he shook his head and inhaled deeply, holding onto it for a few seconds before he closed his eyes.

Clenching a fist, Sephiroth was aiming to remain strong, but he was failing. As his balled-up fist hung in the air before Cloud, the limb quivered, causing for Sephiroth to drop it at his side as though it were a dead weight.

Through a look of what seemed to be utter defeat Sephiroth dejectedly stated, “…This was because of _you_ , Cloud. You’ve changed _everything._ ” Without expanding on that as he should have, Sephiroth’s entire right palm pressed down over Cloud’s eyes, forcefully closing his eyelids.

Though there was no pain; Sephiroth wasn’t trying to blind him. He wanted Cloud to be still, and without even having to communicate that, Cloud’s eyelids turned numb and heavy. Stillness swept over himself from head to toe, and as it settled on the forefront of his mind, Cloud felt a burst of blinding visions visiting his perturbed mind. These were forced upon him. Though he attempted to push them out, whatever power Sephiroth had used to deliver the visions unto him with was one he couldn’t comprehend enough to battle. Reduced to a weakened mass of flesh and fear, Cloud twitched as he opened himself up to the putrid vision.

It was a ghastly one, to say the least. He saw space as though he were peering in through a ship’s windows down at the miraculous stars dotting and lining up the dark mass expanding through. He was able to clearly see Gaia in all her beauty, dangling in a gorgeous fashion in the order of the solar system as they knew it. The sky spun around and around, turning his head into a sickly state of delusion. He was there, yet he wasn’t. He was looking straight at himself, and in his own eyes, he could see the Lifestream churning in waves.

It was majestic and magnetic all at once, even though he sensed danger on the horizon. The overbearing heat loomed near, and an orange-red fiery glow blazed across the vast darkness of space. It was moving quickly, heading right for Gaia. The large mass of fire was rapidly gaining speed and growing larger in size. When it dashed before his eyes, Cloud saw the cosmic rays of hope disappearing and burning away. 

The image of himself was cast through the cornea, the pupil, then the lens, where it was twisted upside down. He was still inverted when the rods and cones that made up the macula received the image and transferred him, still upside down, along the optic nerve all the way to the part of the brain that received and interpreted visual stimuli, where he was once again righted. The image in the brain related to a name, a color-multiple radiant colors, a background, an emotion-multiple conflicting emotions, relations, questions, thoughts, reasons, assumptions, and accusations. This all happened in less than a fraction of a second. It was enough, however, to recognize him, and that was all that was needed before he reached out swiftly and snapped out in a total breakdown.

The large mass of rock and fire exploded, impacting right with the center of their planet. A massive wave of destruction was on its way, and this was what Sephiroth had wanted for him to see. He was the first one to bear witness to their new future…

It didn’t need much elaboration; it was now revealed, the washing away of his present thoughts following his transformation like the tide.

And as Cloud rode the thoughts of Sephiroth that were the chaotic tide, the silver-haired male suddenly became like the moon, pulling him, with potent gravity grasping the youth, in, out, inside, out. The age and brilliance of the light made his heart ache, and as he gazed upon her face there shining brighter than the sun and moon, he was absolutely certain he’d seen it before reflecting back at him.

The very thing that had called unto him and drawn him into the soul bond back in Sector 5’s church…

_“Mother…”_

Her sound was like a melody, soft and drifting, looping, sad and eternal. He paused and searched inside himself for its accompaniment, and discovered the sound of the beginning, the steady hum of a thousand machines singing a thousand songs of his birth.

Something was birthed behind his wide eyes. A light, a searing, burning light, and Cloud was above the universe. The darkness of space and time flitted about, as fleeting and as meaningless as they were when not understood properly. Akin to a single beam of light streaming from a hole in the galaxy, energy spun rapidly, like a whirlpool. The vortex swirled around, gaining momentum and speed when a devious, blue-violet light surrounded all of Gaia.

A massive ball of darkness and destruction hurtled through time and space, now heading right for their world. Once it collided with their planet, it would break free not only the essence of the Lifestream but weaving between that was a greater power; a stronger energy source that would mesh and chaotically blend in with it. He’d seen the visions, he’d been there, himself. Sephiroth was showing off his powers and intentions, definitively presenting to the chagrinned youth what was to come. It would make impact, as he’d seen before when Sephiroth had taunted him with such a vision in the Shinra building. A colossal ball of fire from the sky, and it would be their end, brought on by Sephiroth.

Teeth gleaming brighter than scintillating stars at him, Sephiroth snapped at his young bond-mate as though he were a despised foe once more. “You have witnessed the future of your beloved planet, now.” A warped smile twisted its way onto his face, hardly making Sephiroth even appear human. Ravenously, he crowed out like a deranged man, “I _will_ absorb the essence of this planet and use it to my greater benefit so I can exist across the cosmos…like a god.”

“Sephiroth! Do you have any idea how insane that is?!” The question there didn’t need to be answered, but Cloud shrieked on, “You can’t do this! You’re going to kill us all!”

Staring at his hands coldly when he knew they could cause so much harm and violence, Sephiroth only resorted to grinning. Eyes narrowing slightly, he gently sighed and then offered a nonchalant shrug. “You have a chance, Cloud. You can join me…as my partner for all time, absorbing the source of our planet so we can both elevate it, together.” Holding out his hand and extending the palm up before his bond-mate, Sephiroth purred, “Forget the others. It’s time you realized your own value and strength.”

This wasn’t the Sephiroth he’d known and loved, and no one on Gaia was going to convince him otherwise. People didn’t just change in one second. Nothing about these signs were adding up.

Vehemently, Cloud retorted, “Sephiroth! I know this isn’t you! You’re not making any sense!”

Snatching his hand away and curling it into a fist, Sephiroth’s eyes almost turned into dark coal as he dangerously warned, “The ultimate destructive magic, and it could be _ours_ , Cloud.” Trying to make the offer sound seductive and charming, he purred lustfully, “The things I’ve learned…the things I’ve become as I remade myself…with your help…the rebirth…”

Was this Jenova? Or was this _really_ Sephiroth? Unable to differentiate between them any longer, Cloud tried leaping at Sephiroth, but the older male dashed to the side and unleashed his weapon.

Teeth gleaming almost rabidly, he warned, “Don’t, Cloud! Don’t be a fool! I’m giving you a chance to—”

“Sephiroth! Please listen to me if you’re still in there and in control!” Maybe this was one of the most foolish, ridiculous things he could attempt, but Cloud was willing to exploit and utilize anything he could to save their planet, to save his friends, and to save the one man he had grown to admire and love in such a short amount of time.

Urgently, he cried with everything he had, “Sephiroth! I know you!! You wouldn’t do this!!”

Eyelids widening, Sephiroth paused, and he didn’t dare speak. Hoping this was a sign, Cloud clung to it as he used the momentarily heavy lull to throw out his most jarring, moving pleas.

Nearly throwing himself at Sephiroth’s feet, he wailed, “Please just listen to me and give me chance! Don’t you remember what we shared? Don’t you understand that I’ve learned so much about you, Sephiroth?!” Inhaling deeply, as he’d been close to running out of air, Cloud pushed through his inflamed lungs and throat, “Don’t you think we learned enough about each other?! Didn’t that mean something to you?”

More doubt and pause caused for Sephiroth’s pupils to dilate, and he ceased moving completely. Statuesque and frozen, he gaped on without even blinking for well over a minute. Knowing he had his attention, Cloud carried on before he lost the rest of his sanity and nerves.

Frantically he heaved on a high-strung note, “You _can’t_ tell me that I don’t know you, Sephiroth, because it’s a lie! I _do_ know you! I know more about you than anyone else!”

The tears had now dried away, but they left their burning, stinging traces when he had yet to blink. What if blinking broke off their connection? If that was the case, then he was willing to subject himself to all kinds of torture and extremities, if he had even the smallest of chances to get through to Sephiroth.

“I know that you’re good deep down inside, Sephiroth, no matter how mean and ignorant you try to act! Don’t you remember that night we spent in the field?” Without facundity in his way, he inelegantly yelled, “I kissed you, and after, you grabbed my hand, placed it on your chest so I could feel your heart, and you did the same with me and said that you felt the same way!” 

Recoiling, Sephiroth clearly was in his own impervious state as he growled, “Enough t-talking, I—”

“You can’t deny it and you remember!” Pointing at him before shaky hands gently slid up to his chest, Cloud placed a hand over Sephiroth’s heart, and then latched onto one of the older warrior’s hands. He’d chosen the one with the marbles as he placed it over his own thrumming muscle.

Their eyes met, and Cloud weakly pushed through mentally, _‘Were those words all lies, Sephiroth? Didn’t you mean them?’_

Angrily shaking, Sephiroth didn’t withdraw his arm, but he hissed dangerously, “I would say anything to win your compliance and obtain what I needed, Cloud.” Cruelly, he elucidated, “I took what I needed from you; it was that simple.”

Shaking his head stubbornly, the once rowdy, young Cloud Strife maturely and wisely refuted, “No, that’s not true, because you took care of me. You didn’t harm me, and you didn’t even harm any one of my friends even though you hate them. I know you, Sephiroth.”

“You know nothing—”

Raising his voice, Cloud screamed vibrantly, “I know your favorite color is green! I know your two closest friends were Angeal and Genesis, and you really cared about them! I know that underneath that superior attitude, you _were_ and still _are_ capable of great things!” Shaking as his fingers worked their way along Sephiroth’s sternum and over his neck, Cloud cupped his lover’s angular face as he drew himself up on his toes.

“You care about me, I care about you, your mother’s name is _not_ Jenova, and you had great friends who accepted you like a brother!” Now that the words were freely taking a life of their own, Cloud sailed through them with utmost strength and vehemence. “You are ambidextrous, though you prefer the use of your left hand, you’re an observer more than a communicator, you reflect a lot, and many things _do_ get to you and bother you! Most of all, you—”

Spinning away from him, Sephiroth recoiled and bent midway, as though burnt and nearly about to pass out. “S-stop it, stop this!”

Not hearing him, Cloud again announced boldly, “Most of all, you hate being lonely, and you _are_ afraid of things even though you claimed you’re not!” Frantically, Cloud leapt beyond his frenzied rage, and he shouted for all of Gaia to hear, “You _are_ human!”

“I SAID STOP!” An inhuman, vicious visage had instantly taken over Sephiroth’s. His skin color had even changed, almost as though a flash of purple and pink lightning had coursed through it. Cloud had only witnessed it since he hadn’t blinked, but all too quickly, it was gone. Sephiroth’s hair hung limply and loosely around his face, and he didn’t bother pushing it out of his way as he snarled and snapped like an animal cornered.

Once more, without relying on his powers of wisdom and logic, Cloud tried cupping Sephiroth’s face to talk to him, but the moment his flesh contacted the One Winged Angel’s, a bolt of what truly felt like a strong, electrical current struck him right in the head.

_Zack Fair stood a few feet before Sephiroth, as angry and troubled as Cloud had ever seen him. Wielding a sharp sword, he pointed a finger at Sephiroth as he screamed in a hateful voice, “You’re not the Sephiroth I once knew!” The cold slashing of his sword slicing upwards almost accompanied his piercing cries of terror._

_“I am the chosen one,” Sephiroth began gracefully with vauntiness like he believed it, arms extending and facing the heavens. “I have been chosen to rule this planet.”_

_They charged at each other, meaning to end the battle they’d long engaged in without Cloud’s knowledge. Before their weapons clashed, more electrical sparks fizzed and zapped into his brain, making him seize up painfully as the memories shifted to only one of Sephiroth walking through what appeared to be a large cave system._

_The planet’s core…suddenly, a large force-field encased the entire area, sealing off Sephiroth himself from the outside world. Whispers flew around erratically, but they couldn’t penetrate and get through. The wind howled its sorrows, and Sephiroth stood tall on the other side of the barrier, eyes slowly shutting as he looked so exhausted and empty._

_It was with a sigh that he set aside the Masamune, the immensely long, slender blade gleaming wickedly in the ample moonlight. When he stood up to go deeper into the cave, he paused, as though noticing something for the first time._

_‘Cloud…’_

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

He couldn’t die, now. His planet needed him; Avalanche needed him. Self-sacrifice was out of the question, and he knew he couldn’t kill Sephiroth, either. Knowing and realizing that had been what Sephiroth perhaps was seeking the entire time, Cloud tried punching and slapping at his bond-mate, but even that wasn’t working to unleash his fury and rage. Sephiroth stood like a wall that refused to budge, and while Cloud slowly slipped down to the floor, Sephiroth finally moved away.

“In time, you will understand me and why I had to do this.” The older male’s harsh, cold words had been the last traces of poison needed to render Cloud defenseless.

Pitifully, he glanced up and offered Sephiroth a wistful look that could hardly scratch the surface of his sorrow. “Why can’t you just kill me, Sephiroth? Just end my life, because I c-can’t…” Almost bursting into fresh tears, he thought of Zack and his final sacrifice, but wasn’t able to voice his intentions properly. 

“Coward,” the cold snarl echoed over his head. Backing away from him quickly, Sephiroth glared in a wolfish manner while he rasped in a tone of utter madness, “My defenses are being broken; Shinra’s work, no doubt. I haven’t the energy to argue with you, here.” He swept away, heading for the large door to the room, but as he opened it more forcefully than necessary, he paused and threw over his shoulder one of the most hateful glares Cloud knew he could muster.

Eyes cold and feelings toxic, Sephiroth muttered, “Shinra no doubt took Mother. I need to prepare for Her return, and then the Reunion. You _will_ be an honored guest, Cloud.” Resorting to sneers so deep and cutting, the older male had been about to venture out, when he glared down at something gleaming away on his right wrist.

Eyes zeroing in on the bracelet, Sephiroth touched it for a second. Unfeeling and detached, he snarled as he yanked the jewel off and threw it back into the room. The item went skating along the floor, and when it came to an abrupt halt as it slammed into the wall, Cloud felt as though Sephiroth had torn out his heart and flung it away so callously just the same.

“I’ve had enough of your games, Cloud.” Spinning around with his back facing the hallway, he scowled one last time at his bond-mate before he slammed the door after himself.

Alone, now, Cloud let out a shrill cry as he scrambled on all fours and snatched the bracelet up into both his hands. Holding the item to his chest, he cradled it as he begged himself not to weep. Monsters didn’t deserve his tears, and he knew it hadn’t been wise to throw away such gifts at someone so harsh and unsympathetic. The insensitivity was too jarring, and Cloud knelt, rocking gently as he held tightly onto the marbles, rolling them around in his palm while counting the beads.

But this wasn’t the time to be weak and to weep.

As dejected and frightened as he was by the falsiloquence and betrayal, Cloud refused to sit there and wait for doom to destroy them all. His limbs felt massive and heavier than tree trunks, but he pocketed the bracelet, scrambled to his feet and raced at the door. Finding it to be unlocked, surprisingly, Cloud yanked the door open, and when he did, a large gust of wind slammed and brushed him back. Boots scraping along the floor, he shielded himself and held his arms up to cover his eyes. Leaning forward, he felt ill-inclined to flee, wondering whether Sephiroth was near. Only when he opened his lids as soon as the pollent wind died, did he sense something was off.

Lowering his arms, Cloud peered down, and when he saw how high in the air he was suspended, he let out a faint shriek. Where was he?! Gaping and squinting down, when the wind disappeared, and once the Whispers floating around moved away, he peered down into the open air, and he found that it was highly evident that the ground was located many, many feet below. It was too dangerous and risky for a leap, and he knew he would harm himself if he even dared that.

Frightened and emotions of noxious anger reserved for Sephiroth momentarily suspended for the time being, Cloud hung on the edge of the platform with his fingers gripping tightly as they could for dear life. As though knowing of his plans to escape, a few Whispers navigated toward him, bringing along a harsh gust of air with themselves. As though controlling the elements, they hovered closer and closer to him, swarming him like a sea of sharks.

Cloud kicked and hissed at them to go away, but they seemed to be dedicated to drawing nearer and nearer to him until the wind turned unforgivingly cold. An arctic breeze billowed through, slashing at his fingers. Already under pressure, they buckled, and as Cloud tried hoisting himself back up, one Whisper lunged at him. Something grainy and akin to smoke enveloped his eyesight. Blinking back the rough, powdery substances and particles floating around, when Cloud attempted to swing himself back up on the ledge leading into the room, the largest of Whispers near him emitted a sound much like a haunting wail.

Fingers finally slipping, Cloud knew he was a victim to the pull of gravity. Falling, he’d ceased screaming out for help long ago. It was inevitable, and he knew that his fall had been interminable. Symbolic and tragic; his fall from grace, Sephiroth’s fall from his heart. It was all one and the same. Eventually, his feet landed on the rich soil and soft grass. He didn’t know how it was possible; one minute he’d seen the pure whiteness of time and space, and the next, he was back in Wutai village.

It was hell on Gaia. Majority of the lovely tourist areas and shops were burnt to the ground. The grass was singed, gunpowder and smoke lingered in the air, ashes fell and littered the earth, appearing like snow. Shards of glass lay around, and Cloud had to carefully step around them as he tried to situate and orientate himself. A lot of wreckage met his eyes, and as his concern mounted high, he ran through the village screaming his head off for his friends. 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to go looking too far and too long.

Tifa, Biggs, and Aerith were consoling a weak, pale, and sickly-looking Godo Kisaragi. Ever since his daughter’s abduction, the Wutai leader truly did resemble a husk. His body was weakly dragged around by Biggs, who was propping up and allowing the older male’s right arm to loop around his neck. Aerith and Tifa walked together, holding onto a bundle of bright colored flowers. No doubt, they were all trying to comfort one another after what had happened, and Cloud felt even worse for what he was about to say to them and ask of them.

Only a completely selfish bastard prick would do this, but he knew all of Gaia was in danger, otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Still not impressed.


	36. Enemy of My Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way too much is going on in this fic Dx

Tearing straight for his trusted group of friends, Cloud waved frantically at them as he cried out, “Tifa! Aerith! Guys!! I need to tell you something!”

The replies and reactions to his voice merely sounding out in the air was hurtful and quite detrimental to his emotional wellbeing and levity. Biggs tossed him an irritable and disgusted scowl, Aerith fumed at him, and Tifa stood rigid and firm next to Aerith, equally as vitriolic and heated.

For a few moments, no one said a word. Even the air seemed sour and stale, and while Cloud knew his friends had every reason-logical reason-to abhor him for what he’d done, he needed to warn them so they could figure out the next plan and course of action to take.

Almost fumbling for words, he weakly rasped, “Please, I know you guys are very angry with me, but I need you to hear me out!”

Shooing him away impatiently, Aerith argued bitterly, “Get out of here, Cloud. We don’t need your words anymore.” Turning away from him, the viperous female walked on, while Godo-ever so lifeless in his appearance and behavior-leaned against Biggs and exhaled a sad sigh.

Growling in a warning, Biggs added sourly, “Shouldn’t you be with Sephiroth, Cloud?” Snorting, he added with much spite and venom oozing from his words and gaze, “You know, since you already showed us all whose side you’re on and all that.”

“This isn’t about that shit!” Cloud’s bilious anger rose above theirs, but it wasn’t enough and at the right level in which they would listen. He knew his betrayal was heavy in their hearts and minds, and though he knew they had every right in the world to be cross with him, he was hoping that _someone_ would hear him out…if only for one damn minute…

Digging the heel of his boots into the dirt, he ground his teeth as he begged verbosely, “Please! Something’s coming! Sephiroth has summoned a meteor that will kill us all unless we do something to stop it!”

Sneering while he waved him away with the flick of a wrist, Biggs roared, “You’d just say _anything_ to come crawling back!” Kicking up some dirt as though Cloud were a small animal he could easily frighten with such a move, he righted himself as he glared daggers at the blonde youth. “Get out! Get the hell out of here, Cloud! We don’t want to see your face around here again!”

“I know what I did was horrible! I know I am a traitor! I’m _not_ denying that!” Gazing back and forth at everyone, he held his arms out as though that would render him successful in calming them down. “Just listen to me! I’m not asking for you guys to forgive me, but—”

Huffing and jutting out her chin arrogantly, almost, Aerith snapped in a frenzy, “You don’t deserve forgiveness for your lies, and it’s good you understand that you won’t have it.”

“Please!” Hoping they would get past their anger for just a second, Cloud quickly stated as succinctly as he could, “I saw it! I saw a meteor heading for us! Sephiroth—”

Rolling his eyes as he held onto Godo’s thick arm draped over his neck like an accessory, Biggs kept his eyes skyward as he bemoaned, “Sephiroth this, Sephiroth that! Enough of Sephiroth, Cloud! Can’t you see that we’ve figured you out?!”

If Biggs was somehow suggesting that he was in league with Sephiroth, then Cloud was going to see to it right then and there that he beat that idea right out of Biggs’ thick skull. Drawing up a clenched fist, he approached the raven-haired male as he snapped impatiently, “Knock off the bullshit, Biggs! I’m not like that!”

A regretful voice interrupted them, momentarily putting all their frustrations and aggravations on hold.

“You may say so, Cloud, but we didn’t know you would share a bed with Sephiroth.” Tifa looked the most worn out and pained as she wheezed this out in a single breath. She seemed so small, thin, and fragile, and as she avoided Cloud’s confused eyes, Aerith held onto her in a comforting gesture.

Brows furrowed, Tifa whimpered, “A-are you that same little boy I used to know so well? Are you really the same Cloud Strife who once promised me that he would return to me so we could live in peace?”

He had no answer. Shamefully, as much as he knew she cared about him even more than friends cared for each other, Cloud was yet again reminded of all his dreary failures and deceitful actions. He’d hidden away from her disgracefully when they’d returned to Nibelheim, and now, he had more reasons to shield his heart and face from her innocent gaze.

As Tifa glanced up at him with crimson, doe-like eyes, Cloud decided not to repeat his mistakes of the past. He’d learned the first time around quite well that his friends’ feelings and thoughts came first. If this was to be their last stand, he could at least offer Tifa the respect and dignity she deserved after sticking by his side loyally for so many years without doubt.

She deserved the truth and much more than a little decorum, especially.

Though she wasn’t able to bring herself to meet his eyes, Cloud simply offered as he discarded his own pride and ego into the winds of the past, “I realized my mistakes, but you have to at least understand why things happened to me the way they did.”

Errantly, Biggs shook his head in clear disagreement. “Whatever _reason_ you think you got, it won’t cut it, Cloud.” Nodding seriously at Aerith, he supplied logically, “She’s lost her boyfriend, I’ve lost my strength, Godo’s lost his daughter, and Tifa lost someone she cared about. What the hell more do you want from us, huh?” Craning his neck to the side with complete staidness, he pushed out in a dull hiss, “How much more do _we_ have to sacrifice so _you_ can be happy?”

Staring around at the sedateness of their world falling apart piece by piece, Cloud knew he had a reasonable point. Still, this was no longer about his personal gain and his own joy. He knew he wouldn’t ever be able to recover from what Sephiroth had done to him in every way possible, but he could at least save the people he was bound to through loyalty, honor, and spiritual sovereignty more than anything else.

Though torn apart and already in pieces lingering between his friends and the total opposite end of the ethical board, Cloud remained honest and sincere as he orated softly, “I’m so sorry…I really value you guys, and you’re all my friends, but I a-also want to be w-with Sephiroth.”

As soon as he’d stated his wishes, the heavy chains and weight bearing down on his back and shoulders had been removed and stripped, at least partially. It was a lot better to get this off his chest, but the rest of his woes and questions lingered, depleting the rest of his energy all the same.

Biggs murmured flippantly, “Disgusting,” while Aerith’s visage overflowed with resentment and contempt.

He could live with this. While it wasn’t easy to tolerate, he bore it as best as he could as he stood before them and allowed their emotions and natural reactions to wash over in waves. Tifa appeared to nearly break down again, but she didn’t lash out with any harsh words for him.

Swinging his free arm in the air as though batting and swatting away an annoying fly, Biggs growled irritably, “Go then. Go be with him!”

As Biggs tried tugging Godo forth, Cloud knew that this was over. There was no way they were going to listen to him. Perhaps he had to fight this on his own, after all…

Turning away from them to shield his woeful tears, he’d hardly taken the first difficult step, when he heard Tifa’s sniffles and innocent cry.

“D-do you…do you r-r-really love h-him, Cloud?” She was shattering, from all possible angles and across every fiber of her being, yet she’d _still_ brought herself to inquire about his feelings…

Biggs let out a yelp, and Aerith hardly was able to suppress her stunted cry. She recovered a lot faster than Biggs, however, and she hissed thinly at Tifa. “Tifa! Why would you ask that?”

“Y-yeah!” Biggs was next to stammer out as an uncomfortable blush of pink formed over his ears, neck, and cheeks. “Why do you even care, Tifa?!”

When Aerith moved to say another word, Godo suddenly reared his head up. Brows furrowed, though he still was quite pale and gaunt, he grunted deeply, his thunderous, booming voice returning to himself so abruptly. “Let the young man speak, damn you!!”

Jaw nearly hitting his knees, Biggs gaped dumbfoundedly. “Haaaa?!”

Easing himself off the younger male, Godo planted his hands on his hips as he swayed, but never once fell. Though he hadn’t found his balance and strength truly, he still bowed his head as he stated to Cloud keenly, “Young man, if it’s for love that you’re putting yourself and your friends through such a perilous journey, then you must consider one thing…” Urgency painted his features and demeanor as he leaned into Cloud and clasped both his shoulders in his hands.

Nodding at the youth firmly, while Biggs and Aerith glared on behind him, he focused all his energy on Cloud as he deeply regarded the blonde with a level of respect and maturity far beyond his own pain and years.

“I beseech you to consider the source of your feelings before you rush ahead into them.” Ruffling the top of Cloud’s messy mop of hair, he let out a bark of a laugh that was far too chipper in spite of how weak and fragile he’d seemed moments ago.

“My daughter, she’s headstrong. She never listens to me, and I know how she thinks of me…” Cracking away at a quidditative, goofy smile, he sighed as he shrugged, though not in total defeat. “I’m not an old fool! I may be an old goat, but I love my daughter more than my own life. That is the power of love; for her, I would do anything, and you must consider whether you are willing to sacrifice for someone you love deeply.”

Hands sliding into his back pocket, Cloud suddenly felt the protruding marbles of Sephiroth’s bracelet. The fond memories and moments of intimacy shared between them came hurtling back to himself at once. Though he had no real answer right now, he managed to gesture with a plaintive nod at Godo.

“Yes, sir.” Perhaps he’d been dreaming this all up, but he chose to cling to it, before it flew out of his grasp, just like everything else had.

“I don’t know why you’re saying this crap,” Biggs complained to Godo. “This isn’t something I’m personally standing by, and neither will Tifa or Aerith.”

Smiling a sad smile Cloud hadn’t often witnessed on her youthful, gorgeous features, Tifa soothingly offered, “Well, you guys can do that if you want, but I believe Cloud, and I’m putting my trust in him.” Raising her head, she stared straight at Cloud, finally meeting his broken but gratefully stunned gaze.

Feeling as though he’d been knocked off his feet, Cloud hardly contained his strained gasp of reverent shock. “Tifa…I—”

“Shh. Just because I’m trusting you, doesn’t mean I approve of what you’re doing, Cloud, because I don’t.” Earnestly, she cooed, “I don’t understand, nor do I support you, Cloud. That’s not what I’m trying to say, here.” Moving and pushing dirt and tiny bits of gravel and wood between her shoes, an innocent, yet completely pained expression overwhelmed her features.

Tucking a loose strand of ebony-colored hair behind an ear, she affirmed sternly, “This is still the monster who hurt people we loved, Cloud. He took _everything_ away from us, don’t you remember?”

Pained and tormented as he was, he nodded as he concluded solemnly, “I know. I remember what he did to you…to your…f-father…” Eyes burning with tears, he sniffed and pushed them back as he then caved into his fulsome memories and thoughts. “I just…I don’t know what…to do…”

Aerith was livid, and she crossed her thin arms over her chest as she scowled more so at Cloud than at Tifa. Biggs facepalmed as he tried steadying Godo, but the effusive older male seemed to be fine and comfortable with moving around on his own. 

“Tifa, you may have good intentions and a bigger heart than I do, but Cloud _still_ allowed himself to get wrapped up in a soul bond with _Sephiroth_ , of all people!” Reminding her friend of the vast impropriety and indecency lingering that had begun all of this, Aerith paused to blink a few times in confusion at Cloud.

“Wait,” she protested the beginnings of a leery question, “how _did_ you get yourself into that, anyway? Don’t you know how manipulative and tricky Sephiroth is?”

He most certainly had seen evidence of that time and time again, but the best reply Cloud had for her still came in the form of his own astonishment. Turning his eyes to his feet, he softly answered, “I honestly don’t know. He didn’t force me into it, but he talked about it for some time, and then one day when I was in your church praying, I found this ball of light, and it knocked me out and brought me to this weird place.”

Of course, none of it pieced together and made sense. Even as he explained it all, he thought he sounded insane. His friends were equally as baffled, but Aerith’s mind seemed to be made up.

“It doesn’t matter; he took something sacred and divine that was cherished for centuries and perverted it, Cloud, and _you_ let yourself get caught in that mess!” She implied still that it was all his fault and that he should’ve known better, but Cloud’s incessant obduracy determined that he wasn’t able to be angry with her.

Tifa again asked gently, “Do you care about him?”

Pantomiming sticking his finger down his own throat to induce vomiting, Biggs continued mocking Cloud right until Godo smacked him on the back of the head in punishment.

Wringing his hands and fingers together, Cloud felt his nerves getting the better of himself. What was wrong with his tongue? Where had his power and control of speech disappeared to? He was a lot better and stronger than this, but for some reason, when Tifa asked about his feelings regarding Sephiroth, he drew blanks.

“Umm…” Stuck this way in his own world of inept fumbling and stammering, Cloud resisted the urge to shrug apathetically. Instead of subjecting himself to further scrutiny by Biggs, he gruffly threw out in a hurry, “Look, I’m more worried about the shit Sephiroth summoned! He told me that he needed my strength and purity to do harm, and he showed me a vision of this meteor heading right for Gaia!”

When he inhaled for a moment, he supplied desperately, “Sephiroth may have been lying about his intentions, but he said this thing is going to release new, stronger energy and ‘dark magic’, whatever that means! We have to do something in the event he was serious!”

The moment he’d expounded on the matter of his premonition, Aerith’s knuckles tightened. She looked like she’d been having some sort of seizure as all the color drained from her gentle face. Her shoulders clenched, her eyes widened drastically, and even her breathing turned bizarre, erratic, and chaotic. Blinking rapidly, her stance became awkward and rigid while her lips pursed together tightly in a firm line across her mouth. Nostrils flaring wildly, she didn’t spew a word as her eyes darted back and forth in concern.

No…this was _fear_ …she was fearful of something he’d said.

“Aerith?” Picking up on the signs, Cloud tried to approach her cautiously, but she flitted away from him hurriedly.

Holding up a hand, she hissed at him to stay back before she looked at Tifa and Biggs. “You…I just need some t-time…” Inching back, she avoided their concerned eyes and questions. Through evasion, she quickened her pace and backed away from them all as though they were drooling monsters ready to devour her.

Steadily, she took measured steps, retreating further and deeper into the messy, thick woods. Eyes shining and sparkling, though with more anger and sadness than anything else, she weakly whispered, “I need to do something…I can’t talk right now.” Turning herself around, she practically zigzagged through the bushes and trees, with Biggs shouting after her.

“Wait, Aerith!” Even Tifa attempted to chase after her, but where the raven-haired female was quite often a fast, lively runner who’d beaten Cloud in more than a few races, now, Aerith had proven to be much faster. She’d disappeared completely from their eyes in a few seconds.

Glaring down at her small footsteps left in the soil and grass, Biggs asked the question on everyone’s minds. “Where did she go?”

Though no one could offer a brilliant enough estimate, Cloud went over Aerith’s initial reaction to when he’d mentioned the meteor. Something had triggered this…no doubt…something unspoken…

Suddenly, like some mystical, magical gift, the answer had been ignited in his head like a bright spark of electricity.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

They split up shortly after Aerith disappeared. Wutai Area was a large piece of land, and without a map on their hands, especially due to the wreckage still lingering about, there was no way to tell where Aerith had specifically gone to. All Cloud was certain of was that she’d taken his warnings quite seriously and seeing as she was tied to the realm of the Ancients and happened to be Cetra, herself, she’d foolishly taken it upon herself to do something about the deleterious situation.

Without Red and Barret at their side to help, Cloud had to step up as leader. Ordering Biggs to cover the West side of the land, Cloud and Tifa took to scouring every inch of the East. Though argumentative and standoffish at first, Biggs eventually clued in to how dangerous the situation had become, and it was enough to enable him to set aside his truculent attitude to help in locating Aerith. They needed to do so quickly and in an organized, timely manner. There was no telling how many troops and soldiers Rufus Shinra had been sending out to spy on them, and already, it was beginning to grow quite dark.

Their aim each was to cover as much of the land as possible, and the plan worked in their favor as they teamed up and used their brains for one unanimous goal.

“How long have we been searching?” Cloud asked Tifa once they entered a small cavern that was mostly empty. The wind picked up outside, the brutal gales rushing onward and making it difficult for both young adults to see much outside.

The ambiance was too grim and menacing, which caused Tifa to shudder. “Maybe an hour?” she ventured as she wrung her hands nervously together. “Cloud, when Aerith ran off, I couldn’t help but notice that she was onto something.” Ever so observant and clever, the sharp-witted Tifa Lockhart tipped her head to one side as she then blushed deeply.

As the wind howled outside, Cloud instinctively huddled closer to his childhood friend. She tucked away a loose strand of black hair behind an ear, and he was amazed and grateful that she’d even allowed him to be this close to her. She was still no doubt uncomfortable with everything she’d learned, but compared to his other friends, she surprisingly bore it a lot better than they had.

“Aerith’s smart,” Cloud offered tritely, chuckling as he tried keeping the mood serene and calm. “She’s probably going to be the one to fix all this…”

But how? What could Aerith truly do? Wondering about that, Cloud repressed a shiver of pure fright once he imagined the young brunette taking Sephiroth on all by herself.

No…she wouldn’t resort to that…they _would_ find her soon and bring her home so they could all accomplish this together.

Listening to the wind and watching it push against the branches and tops of trees, bending and twisting them about with enough force to break some of the smaller, thinner branches, Tifa appeared quite solemn and diffident as she stated mostly to herself, “This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.”

Thinking she’d been referring to discovering the soul bond, Cloud glared submissively down at his feet as he dumbly replied, “I know, but I can’t help it; I just spent a lot of time with Sephiroth, and I like him.”

“That’s not really what I meant, Cloud, but that _is_ a part of it, you could say.” Fidgeting and playing with the ends of her hair as she often did when slightly nervous, she pushed some dirt and rocks back and forth between her dark shoes once more. After a bit of awkward silence, Tifa glanced up at Cloud and offered a tiny smile.

As he returned it, Tifa plainly orated, “I feel sorry for Aerith. Losing Zack not once, but twice…it’s such a depressing thing for a lover to go through.”

Appreciating her importunate need to be threnetic as well as empathetic, Cloud eased his Twin Stinger off his back and leaned his weight on it for a moment. It had begun to drizzle outside, and as the sky churned about in sickly grey and green tones, he wondered if a serious storm was near. Regardless, they couldn’t call off the search, and he wouldn’t; not until Aerith was found safely.

Patting the handle of his trusted weapon, for a quick moment, he scolded himself for bringing it along, stretching up and feeling the soreness and tension seeping into his shoulder blades and back.

Mordantly, once he’d taken enough time-more than what was necessary, he thought back to the conversation he’d been having with Tifa. Brows clenched tightly in a rigid, unforgiving line, he gritted his teeth together as he growled, “That wasn’t Zack…not this time.”

“Cloud, don’t be like that.”

Rolling his eyes, Cloud sniped back, “It wasn’t! Don’t you remember how he attacked me in the dojo? Maybe there were some traces of Zack there, but he wasn’t Zack!”

Pausing, Tifa gently touched her chin as she suggested, “So, are you saying that Sephiroth was controlling him to attack and kill you in the dojo?”

It sounded like a solid plan. For Sephiroth, or any opportunist, why not?

Nodding, Cloud assented fully without doubt, “Wouldn’t put it past him to take advantage of that.”

Frowning deeply, Tifa’s thin eyebrows twisted as she mulled it over for a few moments, but then seemed to highly disagree. “No, Cloud, that doesn’t make sense.” Not even waiting for him to ask ‘why’, she explained calmly and reasonably in a succinct manner, “If Sephiroth wanted to kill you, first of all, knowing how he is, he’d want to do it himself with his own hands.” Holding up another finger, she added swiftly, “Secondly, why do that through Zack? Why not reveal his own face? He’s not really a coward, you know.”

Slowly, the revelations hit him like a fist to the face. Supplying a third reason, Cloud muttered in awe, “And he technically had many opportunities to do it if he wanted to…” Shaking his head slowly as he let the reasons and logic sink in gradually, Cloud wasn’t truly satisfied and content just yet.

Scowling, he turned away as he mumbled forlornly, “Still, that wasn’t Zack, and it hurts me that we all thought it was when he was an impostor and a fake.”

“He _was_ the real Zack to Aerith.” Tifa’s solid words impacted greatly within Cloud, leaving him feeling tiny and feckless. There was no denying that. Initially, they’d _all_ been under the assumption that Zack had returned to them, but it was all smokes and mirrors.

Deceit.

Gripping the handle of his weapon tightly as he recalled Sephiroth’s cruelty presented to them in such a form, Cloud wondered aloud to himself, “It doesn’t make a lot of sense how he could remember some stuff, though.”

Eyebrows raised, Tifa hummed a single note. “Oh? What do you mean?”

Thinking back on it for a moment, Cloud replied gently, “Well, he remembered how my hair was when I first met him. It was kinda long back then.”

Smiling wider, Tifa’s eyes lit up as she concurred. “Yes, you had it in a ponytail the night you told me you were going to leave Nibelheim.”

“That’s what I mean, though; he could remember some stuff like that, but when I asked him other questions, it seemed like I was talking to a wall or a blank slate.” Shaking his head, he frowned as he banished each tarnished memory. “It’s just weird and I don’t get any of it.”

Tifa chewed on her lower lip for a moment before she innocently guessed, “Maybe Sephiroth’s influence had a lot to do with that.” Painfully, she forced herself through a deep frown to surmise, “Maybe he was somehow using Zack that way like a—”

Snarling, Cloud snapped, “Like a damn puppet. He’s always called me one, and it wouldn’t shock me if he was doing that with Zack’s soul or something…however the hell he did it!” Throwing his arms up in the air dejectedly, Cloud bitterly proclaimed, “I guess he couldn’t remember everything. I don’t know. Either way, it’s all messed up.”

Huffing as she threw her arms in the air, Tifa sarcastically sighed out, “Aaaaand you _still_ want to be with Sephiroth even after all this, huh?” Not intending to belittle him and alienate him for his feelings and wishes, Tifa only threw her childhood friend a neutral expression which was met with one of unadulterated anguish and sorrow from Cloud.

Knowing his answer should’ve been a big, fat, definite ‘no’, Cloud weakly was only capable of performing the function of a nod. This went against every bit of his nerves and character, but he couldn’t help it. He loved Sephiroth, and he felt that the bond had little to do with it at this point.

As if reading through that, somehow, Tifa asserted with a tiny scowl, “I don’t know if you should even answer that, actually; you’re not yourself and haven’t been for some time because of this curse Sephiroth placed you under.”

Gesturing at himself openly, Cloud curtly informed her, “Well, I don’t know what you want to think, but I’m myself.” Trying not to sound like a dreamy, love-sick individual, he gazed outside the opening of the cavern as he plainly exhaled, “I’m of sound mind, for what it’s worth, and you know what?” Dipping his head to the side, and then back, he emitted a small bark of a chipper laugh. “I feel like this is the happiest I’ve been in a long, long time. Say whatever you want about the soul bond, but when I’m with Sephiroth, well, when I was first with him, I wasn’t like this…”

Outside, the wind picked up in potency and intensity, fat raindrops splattering down into the earth, consistently pelting down and causing the smoke and rich soil to rise in the air and be freshly scented.

Carrying on as he took a deep breath, Cloud boldly announced, “…I don’t know, but when I’m with him, I feel like I know myself and what I want.” Extending his arms and shrugging, he gaped like a fish out of water as he admitted shamelessly, “I get that it’s weird, but I can’t help it; I want to be with Sephiroth.”

Tifa was silently judging, of course, but Cloud admired his childhood companion for at least providing him with the chance to explain himself, vent his frustrations and feelings out, all while not even interrupting him once.

“Things are clearer around him than they ever were before, and I have a hunch that what we all saw earlier wasn’t Sephiroth.” Face scrunched up in thought, Cloud mused, “I actually wonder if it was Jenova’s influence or if he’d been experimented on same way Zack and I were.”

Emitting a tiny gasp of undiluted shock, Tifa reiterated, “You guys were experimented on?”

“Yes.” A flash of lightning flew potently across the sky, but Cloud wasn’t too worried about it. Shifting as he took his turn to push a few bits of gravel back and forth as Tifa had, he softly said, “That’s why I took us to the Shinra Manor. I was hoping it would jog my memory and Zack’s—err, whoever that was posing as Zack, anyway.”

Disparagingly, Tifa rasped, “Didn’t work, did it?”

Glaring madly, Cloud replied, “No. Sephiroth—wait…” A visible puff of his own steamy breath escaped himself as he straightened up and looked at Tifa with wide eyes. Leveling her gaze with his own, he watched as her curiosity burned through his and surpassed his own.

Leaning close to her, Cloud theorized carefully, “What if Sephiroth was trying to help me gain my memories all this time?” Reaching deeper, he licked his lips as he suggested brazenly, “What if through Zack trying to hurt me and attack me, what if it wasn’t him trying to kill me, but what if Sephiroth was trying to help me grow stronger?”

Looking as though she would sooner believe in flying donkeys and apes than that possibility, Tifa haphazardly shrugged. “I don’t know, Cloud,” she began quite earnestly. “I can’t say I agree with any of this, and I honestly still need time to wrap my head around the fact that you like men, and that you trust Sephiroth so much.”

“I can understand why you’d wonder about that, but I don’t like _men,_ Tifa; I just like Sephiroth.” Hoping that would make some sense to her, Cloud provided an example to make it perfectly clear from his perspective. “I always thought Zack was handsome, sure. He was a good-looking guy, but I wasn’t attracted _to_ him or to that weird Vincent guy.”

Deciding to joke, Tifa mildly chuckled out, “Well, I feel the opposite! I’ve always liked the dark, brooding types!”

Cloud joined her in a small laugh, when he suddenly thought of Vincent in all his own mysteriousness.

“Wait,” Tifa began as she wrapped her arms about her slender frame when the wind blew into the cavern, “where did he go off to, anyway?”

Letting loose a minor shrug, Cloud pulled a dull expression. “Said he had something to do, some crap to atone for, don’t know.” Not wanting to discuss Vincent, especially due to his recollection of how sharply and acutely the odd man had sniffed out his bond with Sephiroth, Cloud hoped that Tifa would catch onto the subtle hints he’d thrown her way in terms of his clipped reply.

Agreeable and wise enough in her own way, Tifa held her head down as she stood silently beside Cloud. Glancing outside as they remained next to one another, sharing whatever heat they had, it was silent for well over five minutes before Cloud decided to slowly begin moving. They had wasted enough time in here, and Aerith’s safety was his major concern.

Wrestling his Twin Stinger out of the ground, he hoisted it in the air and over his back firmly in its place, when he caught out of the corner of his eyes Tifa’s conflicted glare. Thankfully, she wasn’t aiming it directly at him, but she was somewhat looking in his general direction.

Trying not to be spiteful in her approach, Tifa grated with difficulty, “I’m still not pleased with what’s happened, Cloud, nor am I proud of what you’ve done.” Scolding him as though she were his mother, she tapped an index finger over his chest as she groused, “I think that trusting Sephiroth is a _huge_ mistake, and you know what? As your friend, I’m going to do my utmost best to try and help you see that.”

Stubbornly, Cloud pursed his lips into thin lines as he asked curtly, “What do you mean?” Already, he’d gathered from her austere tone and mannerisms, that the harshest and most serious of alternatives were to be put on the table. Steeling himself for it, he didn’t even breathe as he watched her intently.

Contemptuously, Tifa stated, “When the time comes, I hate that I’m going to have to ask you to choose sides, Cloud, but you must know that I’m only doing it for the future as opposed to hurting you.”

Heart crashing and burning like an old ship at the stormiest and wildest of seas, Cloud knew his emotions were tossing and turning in the worst of ways. Vomitous and delirious, he felt both hot and cold all over, and then as though he’d sink right through the ground.

Jaw trembling, he hardly had energy before he bit out, “W-what do you mean? I c-can’t just abandon you all, and I won’t!”

As though reading his mind with perfect grace and clarity, a clairvoyant-yet morose-Tifa whispered, “No, you won’t, but you also won’t abandon Sephiroth, either.”

Defeated, Cloud closed his eyes and nearly leaned into the wall behind himself. Eager to get away from Tifa’s sharp, prodding finger, he held back on so much and controlled himself before his temper took over. Not wanting to hurt Tifa, especially, he gave a weak nod, not at all meaning the emotion and implication behind it. As if he could ever agree and understand her terms. He was caught and torn between two worlds, and he hated it more than death. Genuinely, this onrush of being stuck in a limbo was what drained him emotionally and psychologically. It was taxing to have to choose between his friends, and the man he loved.

What could he offer? What could he say that would fix all this?

Suddenly, Tifa placated him and truly stunned Cloud by gathering him in both her arms. She enveloped his form and encased him in her smaller frame, holding onto him as though the wind would carry him away. Nuzzling her face into his neck, she let out a muffled cry. Burying her face deeper and deeper into his dark sweater, she shivered violently, and Cloud was ever so grateful that he wasn’t able to see her facial expressions right now. If he were to see them, he knew it would break him right down.

Gripping the fabric of his clothes for dear life, Tifa shielded herself against him as the icy rain pelted into the opening of the dark cavern.

“I’m scared, Cloud,” she voiced reasonably, shaking the entire time. Her voice remained steady, but he could tell after years of knowing her that she was trying not to reveal how terrified she was.

“I don’t know what to do with you anymore.” Breaking away from him for a moment, their eyes met, and she shied away as she again took to pressing her face in the crook of his neck. “Nothing will be the same anymore, and while I don’t want you to be unhappy, I just can’t accept and _refuse_ to understand your feelings for someone so despicable.” Trembling as she spat out the words, Tifa snarled ferociously, “This isn’t right, Cloud!!”

“I know.” Truthfully, a part of himself agreed with her, and more than anything, Cloud wished he could be the man his friends needed him to be to break off the soul bond once and for all. A true hero wouldn’t be scared to sacrifice himself for those he cherished and supposedly cared about, but he just couldn’t imagine ripping his soul apart from Sephiroth’s. To do that was to suffer a fate worse than imprisonment for a thousand centuries.

Though it didn’t need to be said, Cloud returned her warm gestures and symbolically communicated to her how regretful and remorseful he was. They softly sobbed and wept together, with the cavern holding onto the secrets of their conversation, forever. Finally, when the storm outside grew to be far more than they could hide from, Cloud and Tifa broke out of their close embrace and stared outside.

Reaching for his warm hand, she took it in hers, and Cloud clasped onto her limb tightly. Already, he felt a lot stronger, and in his gratitude, he felt even more horrible for abandoning Tifa. She’d always been there for him, and likely always would. She was someone he could rely on, and though she held her own judgement, she didn’t allow for that to sour and spoil their history.

This was a true friend. This was someone who knew what unconditional love and acceptance were.

Eyes bright with hope, Tifa whispered to him, “Do you think Red and Barret found Yuffie?”

Without a shred of doubt, Cloud replied confidently, “They’re pretty resourceful, especially Red. He won’t give up until the Princess is found!”

On that note, Tifa and Cloud nodded at each other, and they knew it was time to take the first steps out of the cavern. Together, they moved as one unit, shifting along in perfect harmony. Tifa’s gloves rubbed against the palm of his hand as he held onto her limb, but he was certain that his own thick, dark glove felt even more rough in her grasp. Gently turning her hand around, he rubbed and massaged her small knuckles, offering her a small smile of appreciation for her fighting spirit and willingness to remain at his side.

Grinning sloppily at him, she elbowed him playfully. It cheered him up mildly as he felt childlike spirits enveloping his heart. Though his soul drooped and longed for revitalizing words and feelings, Tifa’s gentle touches and fond gestures softened his burdensome woes.

Picking up the pace, they almost jogged through the rest of the woods, their boots crunching down on twigs, dried up leaves, and hardening mud. Though they weren’t sure where exactly they were headed, when they gazed down, they noticed plenty of footprints in the soil.

Bending down to examine them carefully, Tifa inspected them as she gasped, “They’re Aerith’s! I think she went this way not too long ago!” The footprints were still rather fresh, and they needed to not waste any more time.

Running at full speed with their eyes glued to the ground, they followed her odd patterns, avoiding rocks and large puddles as the tore after her. Picturing Aerith’s long, brown hair in her ponytail braid dangling just a few feet ahead of himself enabled Cloud to tear through the underbrush even faster than Tifa. She had to struggle to keep up with him, but they made the journey quickly, trying to capture as many of the prints before the sun completely vanished from their view.

“Come on! I see a few more!” Pointing them all out, Cloud briskly ran faster and faster, ignoring the burning ache in his lungs and chest in the process. He didn’t have time to rest and catch his breath!

The wind whistled in his ears, and he was certain he heard Tifa crying something out. Unable to coherently determine what she was saying, Cloud sprinted up a hill, squinting through the harsh, thick raindrops. This was where Aerith’s footprints had led them, and though his legs burned and strained from the journey, he was determined to complete it and see it through to the end. Something gave him hope that Aerith was on the other side of the grassy hill and would be found if they persisted long enough.

Waving his arm at Tifa, he leapt ahead, almost reaching the very top. Heart soaring with joy, he saw shadows hovering in the grass, and that gave him the very last burst of speed and energy he needed in order to reach the top of the steep hill.

“Tifa! I’ve found—” If there ever was a way to describe the feeling of his heart clattering and crumbling down, Cloud knew he wouldn’t have been able to do so without having gone through this experience. At this very moment, as soon as his eyes focused on the scene before himself, he knew he’d nearly succumbed to a fate worse than death.

Aerith was lying on the thick grass with her back turned to him, and her skin was horribly pale. Dirt, grass, and a few leaves clung to her messy hair, and her disheveled form presented that she’d been engaged in some sort of struggle. Her white skirt was torn and muddied in a few places, and there were bruise marks all over her forearms. She’d been hurt quite badly, and she was now lying completely unconscious on the cold ground.

The bitterness and agony unfortunately didn’t end there. Standing a few inches away from Aerith’s body happened to be three Shinra guards, weapons aimed and ready to fire off at Cloud and Tifa. Between them was the infernal, infamous Rufus Shinra, and he was more than pleased to greet them with a cold, malicious grin that thoroughly depleted both young adults.

* * *

Well, look who decided to show up. Shit will get real. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that Tifa is literally the BEST and most supportive friend in the world, now?


	37. Born of Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. Absolutely loathe it, and have been trying to avoid posting it, but this crap sadly has to go on.

Aerith was thankfully still breathing. Her sides rose and fell, and she twitched for a moment before she let out a soft noise of discomfort. It wrenched misery and guilt out of Cloud’s heart and soul to hear that sound and to see the sight of one of his best friends in such a feeble state. Fixating his burning hatred and anger onto Rufus, he scowled a smoldering, foul look at the renegade man, but the newest Shinra President only grinned proudly.

“Ten minutes,” he randomly announced as he then appeared quite bored. “I waited ten whole minutes for you two…you sure took your time, didn’t you?”

The wind picked up, intensely blowing his short hair around, but it never appeared messy as Cloud’s and Tifa’s did. Poised and graceful, Rufus arrogantly and haughtily snickered as he nodded at one of his men to bend and scoop Aerith off the grass.

Tifa screamed protectively as she darted at them fiercely, momentarily interrupting the officer from daring to lay a hand on Aerith. “Get away from her! Don’t you touch her!”

Before she got any closer, Rufus whistled sharply, and from behind himself, Darkstar, his menacing, large, military canine guardian zoomed right before Tifa. Chomping and growling at her, the animal warned her not to get too close to his master. Fearfully, Tifa held up both her hands, but she preserved her vitriolic emotions as she seethed and fumed at Rufus.

Tossing her a sadistically viperine smirk that dripped and oozed self-superiority, Rufus then clicked his tongue, and Darkstar began circling Tifa. Having battled with both this insane man and his pet before, Cloud began to worry for Tifa.

Fingers curling around the handle of his Twin Stinger while his eyes never left Rufus’, Cloud hissed impatiently, “Leave her out of this, you stupid coward!”

From her position lying on the cold ground, Aerith whimpered in pain, turning herself around as she mumbled something out. Straining his ears, Cloud caught bits of it, but due to his highly nervous and panicked state, he couldn’t bring himself to fully absorb her words.

Eyelashes fluttering swiftly, Aerith moaned weakly, “The…p-planet…in…d-danger…I-I-I…c-can…feel…”

Shaking his head at her weakened form at his feet, Rufus sighed tediously. “Pitiful, really.” Cocking his head down at her, he shook his head in phony despair as he then took to glaring ahead at Cloud. “Well, now that she’s been taken care of, as well as the rest of your failure of a team, I can take my time in dealing with _you_ , personally.”

Piecing the puzzle bits of the once spurious picture together, Cloud gasped softly, “You…you got Don Corneo to kidnap Yuffie!”

Nodding in his confirmation, Rufus’ stray bang fell in his sharp eyes, but the sadistic gleam was there all throughout. “He proved useful in assisting me to divide your team.” Nubilous eyes narrowing daggers at Cloud, he growled astringently, “I had to get the others out of the way but seeing as you still wish to resort to your own heroics, this duty has to be accomplished in the most painful way.” Turning swiftly, he nodded at one of his guards, who seemed more than thrilled to begin carrying an unconscious Aerith away.

Losing herself to her sharp, heated anger, Tifa again screeched ferociously, “Let her go! You monsters!”

Rounding on her with fire teeming and burning in his eyes and veins, Rufus ordered boisterously, “Stay back!” Withdrawing his silver shotgun, he jumped before Cloud, teeth gleaming sharply and brightly, matching his pet’s. “If it’s a duel you want, Cloud, I am more than willing to carry on from where we left off.”

Recalling their fight and all the powers Rufus could wield, Cloud watched and waited for Rufus to split his gun in two and fire away like a mad man. Cloud knew that Rufus could shoot up to thirteen times, and he was in no mood to dodge every single one of them. There was no telling what he would ask Darkstar to do, especially seeing as the two cooperated well together to bring an opponent down.

However, Rufus wasn’t too keen on the canine getting involved this time around. He pointed to the side when the large beast panted and salivated, as though hardly able to be patient enough to wait until it could rip Cloud apart. Obediently, the creature moved away from Rufus and Cloud, and soon, the rest of the Shinra President’s men did the same. Cloud and Rufus were now standing secluded before each other, but they didn’t spring into an attack just yet.

Observing him carefully at length, Rufus soon spoke, “You have questions for me, as I have for you.”

“Why do you want to kill us?” Cloud inquired as he remembered all the madness Rufus had thrown them into in such a short period of time. The memories of the rest of Sector 7 burning to a cinder while its denizens were deracinated and subjected to so much horror was enough to nearly send him into a murderous rampage.

Clenching his fists into tight balls, he remained calm enough to supply, “You had a chance back then, so why are you here?”

Lifting a finger, Rufus pointed at Cloud, and then stroked his own chin with his gloved finger. Eyebrows furrowed, he declaimed languidly, “That ties into my own questions. You see, my crew traveled back to the Northern Cave, because that’s where it all began, you know.” Chuckling when he caught how stunned Cloud appeared, he expounded coolly, “Jenova. The Northern Cave was created with the North Crater when the asteroid containing Jenova hit our planet thousands of years ago.”

Shivering when she moved half an inch and had Darkstar growl at her for doing so, Tifa stood stiffly as she gasped, “So _that’s_ where you were looking all this time? But what does this have to do with us?”

Already, Cloud knew what it had to do with them. He suspected that not only was Rufus responsible for abducting Jenova’s body from Sephiroth, but he’d also caught onto the strange nature of his relationship with the devious One Winged Angel, as well. Wondering if that was the purpose, here, Cloud aimed to keep his words brief, and his secrets to himself. Rufus wasn’t a man to reveal his plans to anyone, and there was no way Cloud was gullible enough to take anything he said seriously.

The conniving Shinra President resorted to openly glaring at Cloud as he snapped fiendishly, “When my men traveled to the Northern Cave, we found something interesting…” Pausing for dramatic effect, he soon revealed what his men had discovered. “A barrier of sorts…a shield…no doubt created by Sephiroth to keep us out.”

Still aiming to keep his propensity for a nonchalant demeanor and inauspicious attitude about the entire thing, Cloud honestly replied as detached as he could, “So what? I don’t know anything about that, and even _if_ I did, I wouldn’t tell _you_ about it!”

When the wind blew harshly and the rain disappeared completely, Rufus mildly shrugged an apathetic shrug. He brushed some grass off his pristine, white business suit. Toying with the lapels of his matching jacket over his dark shirt, he grinned a rather devious grin at Cloud. His tie flew in the wind like an ominous flag blowing about. The various belts adorning his wrists, waist, and the several hanging loosely over his long skirt hadn’t even been sullied or touched by the rain.

Ever so dolose and pompous, Rufus’ supreme levels of donnism were at a peak when he bellowed haughtily, “Nothing can get past my way, now. My men broke through the barrier with great ease, and you’re _still_ wishing to challenge my power and position?” As though wanting to take this moment to show off brazenly, Rufus cunningly fired five quick shots at Cloud all while he spun himself around rapidly in a tight circle.

Deflecting them all as quickly as he could, Cloud thought on all the magic Materia he had left with himself, but then recalled a very annoying, perplexing fact. Rufus didn’t appear to have many weaknesses, unfortunately. During their first battle, no amount of poison, ice, wind, lightning, or even fire seemed to do any good. Dexterity and melee attacks seemed to work better, but Cloud predetermined that Rufus had already anticipated such attacks and operose methods.

Blocking was all he could do, but it wasn’t helping when Rufus fished out of one of his pockets a few coins and fired them into the air for his famous ‘up in smoke’ attack. Flinching while the powdery blast blew into his eyes, stinging and burning them even worse than before, Cloud forced himself to push on through as he flipped and flew through the air to get up high enough and land an overhead blow onto Rufus. It proved useless when the taller male used the smoke to his advantage and wormed his way around Cloud. Once he was standing behind the stunned ex-SOLDIER, he backhanded Cloud as hard as he could across the face with the blunt end of his firearm.

Relying on his instincts of self-preservation, Cloud rolled away at the very last moment before Rufus’ sharp knuckles had a chance to follow-up with another brutal punch to his jaw. The escape had been fruitful, but when Cloud got to his feet and steadied himself once more, he whipped about to find both barrels of the President’s firearm pointing right in the center of his forehead.

Unable to stomach the gruesome sight, Tifa attempted to get in the way. “Cloud! Move!” Large hands soon wrapped around her slender midriff, prying her away from Rufus. Hauled off by two Shinra guards, Tifa kicked and squirmed to no avail.

“This is between us,” Cloud growled forth at Rufus, righting his sword and pointing the deadly tip right in the middle of the older man’s chest, in much the same warning manner as Rufus tapped the gun into Cloud’s forehead.

Scoffing arrogantly as ever, Rufus snapped bitterly, “It can end right now if you tell me what I need to know about Black Materia, Cloud Strife.”

Black Materia?! That was the first time he’d ever heard of it. What was this, then? Another odious trap? More stupid games to capture him and render him incapable of defending his friends?

Not wanting to be thrown off course, Cloud shook his head as he rebuked desperately, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Looking as though he didn’t believe that in the slightest, Rufus pressed his weapon harder against Cloud’s warm flesh. “I despise when I have to repeat myself.” His warning became evidently shrewd when his index finger stroked the trigger of the gun, eyes never roaming away from Cloud’s disturbed expressions.

“Tell me everything you know about Black Materia, and I solemnly swear to you that no harm will come to the females.” As Rufus hissed this out like a slithering, slimy serpent coiling its way through the grass, Tifa and Aerith were dragged off by more guards, their forms soon disappearing as the sky grew darker than ever.

Panic was never great for anyone, especially Cloud Strife. With the weather turning wild, and his own emotions spiraling out of control seeing as he couldn’t help his friends, he resorted to standing firm and vigilant as he screamed a ghastly, piercing cry. “I don’t know anything! Let my friends go!!”

Leaves and bits of grass swept between the two men, and Rufus closed his eyes as he shook his head in mock despair. Cold as ever in his regard and care for others while he latched onto his own personal vendettas, his eyelids fluttered open as a careless expression settled on his visage for a moment. Knowing that Cloud wasn’t going to yield in what he knew, the Shinra President’s mind appeared to already be made.

“So be it, then,” Rufus hissed ferociously, a twisted, sadistic gleam apparent in his eyes as he stood and readied his powerful gun and fetched a long spear-like sword with a jagged tip from one security officer lingering close by. Pointing it at Cloud, he stood, bracing himself for the inevitable.

In turn, Cloud snatched his Twin Stinger off the ground with legerity, the vorpal blade scraping in a foul manner along the hardened rocks and soil like the beginning of a death knell.

Nodding at him and scowling a debauched scowl, Rufus puffed his chest out, cocked his firearm, and zeroed in on Cloud with his sharp, blue eyes. “Come! Fight me, Cloud!”

They didn’t have much time for this, and Rufus didn’t want to even allow him a second to adjust to his combat. Though he’d fought this man before, Cloud wasn’t a fool. He knew that Rufus had grown vagarious and quite erratic in his stance and attacks. They were cutting, brutal, and quite unpredictable. Cloud tried not to get hit, but it seemed the more he tried guarding himself, the more Rufus was able to read through and predict his moves. Less aggressively, he would pause and occasionally wait for Cloud to center himself before he swiped at him and would follow it up with a powerful blast from his gun.

Rufus was taller and larger, so his stance was wider, his arms holding the sword tightly in both hands. Cloud, on the other hand, was smaller, immediately pitting him at a rather nasty disadvantage as far as raw stamina was concerned. His sword was large, awkward, clumsy, whereas Rufus was perfectly capable of duel wielding both the spear and the gun. The Shinra President was accurately relying on the openness and freedom of martial arts and physical combat with the other arm whenever he pocketed his weapon almost magically.

Cloud shifted from holding his weapon with both hands and took to using only one arm, desperately trying to match and keep up with Rufus’ barbaric, savage attacks. That was how he was used to posturing, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to go through extreme measures with the President. With Aerith and Tifa already in jeopardy, the ex-SOLDIER’s mind wasn’t at ease, and he knew he was going to make a grave mistake at some point in the skirmish. Rufus would rely on that immediately if given the chance; always needing an opportunity for morphing situations into salutary ones for his own benefit.

Cloud watched, waited until Rufus grew impatient and ran toward him. He was large and muscly enough that if he collided with Cloud, it would send the younger male flying back. Carefully, in response, when Rufus darted at him, Cloud leapt to the side, bringing his sword up to deflect the blow from Rufus. He could hold his ground for a time, but his posture could only handle so much as he staggered with one arm attempting to balance his own weight awkwardly. Inevitably, if he didn’t back away, it would be broken, and he would be thrown to the ground.

Whenever he felt his muscles straining too much, he backed off to let them have a moment of respite, but Rufus wasn’t keen on allowing that. Constantly, he followed through with a ferocious, unending combination of wild and erratic attacks. It soon became proven that while Rufus had strength on his side, Cloud at least had speed and phlegmatic wit.

Utilizing whatever sources he could, he was constantly attempting to hit open spots. Unfortunately, Rufus was quick to always block them when he suspected Cloud trying to gain the upper hand. The two of them traded constantly in their equally matched blows, but they never actually hit one another. Oddly, it was a back and forth, deadly ‘dance’ until they were both sweaty and exhausted.

Pausing for a moment to catch his breath, Rufus heaved out a grim chuckle as he swiped back a few loose bangs out of his eyes. “You’re a lot more agile than I recall…” Eyes floating up and down Cloud’s torso, when thunder roared dangerously across the expansive sky, Rufus’ grin morphed into a sinister and deeply devious one Cloud missed comprehending.

“This power…it’s…it’s unusual and unbecoming of someone who wasn’t even a true SOLDIER…”

The orgulous Shinra President portrayed his malicious intentions with a passion for dominating Cloud in no time. While he had braced for Cloud to dodge his blasts, that didn’t stop Rufus from leaping a few feet in the air, aiming for a lunge and dive attack. At first, Cloud had assumed that was what he wanted to do, but he soon learned he’d incorrectly predicted any of the moves Rufus was making.

Lightning flashed, but rather than running from it in fear, Rufus leapt again as high as he could. Airborne, now, when he raised his deadly spear at the skies, lightning struck and zapped through the sharpest end of the weapon. Rather than electrocuting the young President, however, the sword acted as a conduit between Rufus and the powerful ray of lightning. The sparks danced and skated along the length of the long spear-like weapon, and as Rufus slowly floated down to the grass, he swiped sideways through the air at Cloud.

This wasn’t a part of regular combat, and although Cloud had no clue what to make of it, his instincts and weeks spent training with Sephiroth again proved to be fruitful. Without even planning it and pondering on it for long, Cloud leapt up as well, turning his Twin Stinger horizontally, and tilting the shiny blade right at the bolt of electricity heading for his way. At once, the power connected with his sword, and Cloud instinctively knew how to deflect it right back at Rufus. Swiping in a clean motion from left to right, the bright yellow-white bolt slammed across the sky in an equally potent manner as when Rufus had struck out with it.

Flashing in an explosive manner across the horizon, the rumbling sounds shook the earth when the impact couldn’t be contained. It struck fear right down through the center of Cloud’s being when he’d managed to pull off such a powerfully deadly move.

It was a miss, however. Rufus knew what he was doing, and he’d already torn through the grass right at Cloud. The lightning bolt flew past him, but he showed no signs of stopping. Eyes blown open wide with a peculiar, almost hungry nature residing right in their centers, he dropped his spear but still held tightly to his shotgun.

Cloud hadn’t been prepared on time as he should have. Slowly recovering from the lightning-based attack, he attempted to move out of the way, but Rufus was too fast. Arms already finding purchase about his neck, he rammed a knee up into Cloud’s solar plexus, bending the youth midway as he gasped for air. Then, Rufus wrapped his right arm around Cloud’s waist, and while he held his firearm out of the way, he tugged the blonde right until their chests made contact.

Gasping for air while he saw stars appearing in front of his bleary vision, Cloud nearly collapsed into Rufus’ arms. The older male didn’t seem to mind as he yanked Cloud as close to his own body as possible.

Running a few fingers through the young ex-SOLDIER’s messy hair, Rufus gave out quite a satiated rumble as he nuzzled his own face sanguinely against Cloud’s. Obliquely, he purred, “I believe I’ve found a more appropriate use for you, after all, Cloud.” Pulling away only enough so that their eyes could meet, Rufus beamed at Cloud as if he were a proud, older sibling.

Thumbs grazing the youth’s warm cheeks, he hushed and cooed at him as he held his free arm up and gently pressed Cloud’s eyelids down.

Though the rain, thunder, coldness, and storm persisted, Cloud was able to hear Rufus calling out for his men. Blackness enveloped himself, but he couldn’t struggle when someone bashed him violently across the back of his skull.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Muffled sounds of a few distinct voices were the first things he heard. Cloud tried to open his eyes, but the throbbing pain emanating from the back of his head only worsened. As he remained in his motionless state, he began to try to make sense of his current situation.

Flashbacks rushed to mind as he remembered telling his friends about the meteor and Sephiroth. He’d been chasing after Aerith with Tifa and Biggs, but then Rufus had found them. Tifa had been taken away, and the only way Cloud could hope to save her life was to fight Rufus Shinra alone. After several moments of fighting, he remembered that he’d lost track of Rufus’ power as it overwhelmed him. As he tried to track all the movements, the malicious man had lunged at him, draining him of his energy. Someone else had approached from behind, knocking him in the head. That had caused him to go down the first time, but Cloud was a fighter. A rising, throbbing bump on his skull informed him that another brutal blow to the head had been the reason for him to hit his head on the ground and lose total consciousness.

Now that Cloud could recall the factors of his current state, he began to try to assess his surroundings. The pain was still too much to open his eyes completely, so all he had to go on was what he felt and heard.

He was on his knees on a cold floor with his head hanging freely. He could feel strong chains around his wrists, which he could tell were the only things not letting him fall to the floor. He could make out fluorescent light through his eyelids. He took this as a sign that he was somewhere in a building.

But where, specifically? The Shinra building? It would make perfect sense, but there was no way to genuinely tell lest he searched for himself. When he tried inching up on his knees, he let out a hiss. They were badly scraped, and his dark pants had been torn in many places as though someone had dragged him over shards of glass for miles.

His tiny hiss of pain brought the attention of a guard. The man opened the cell door Cloud was being held in, and when he took a quick look at the bound young man lying on the floor, he swiftly ducked his head out of the cell. A moment later, Cloud heard faint whispering.

Hanging his head to examine his body, he could tell from the pain in his arms that he’d been suspended for some time prior to even stirring. As a door opened and closed outside, he tried to reposition his wrists to get the blood flowing without the guard noticing. Before he could accomplish anything, the door to his cell opened again and Cloud heard footsteps slowly approaching. Quickly, Cloud dropped to his side, feigning that he was unconscious. Perhaps if he played dead, they would get rid of him…then he could escape!

“Has he opened his eyes again?”

Cloud knew that voice to be Rufus. As he listened to the man rave on, he hadn’t a clue if he should continue to fake his unconsciousness or if he should open his eyes. Regardless of pain he felt, he didn’t wish to ask the new President what he intended to do, or even where Aerith and Tifa were, for that matter.

As if Rufus would be honest, anyway…

“No Sir, but he shifted his arms and his head some,” the guard replied, much to Cloud’s irritation. Apparently, he hadn’t been as sleek as he’d presumed.

Admiring Cloud in his weakened state for a moment, Rufus nearly missed his guard’s next question.

“Sir? Shall I rouse him for you?”

Silence stretched on before Rufus coldly drawled, “No. You aren’t to touch him anymore. Am I understood?”

Bowing his head in obeisance, the guard answered, “As you wish, Sir. Do you wish for me to accompany you to his interrogation, then?”

“No. Leave us. I have some questions I need to ask him, and it must be done by my own hand.” Rufus’ reply made Cloud’s blood turn frozen. He despised Rufus enough to never wish to be left alone with him, and perhaps the older male was aware of that. What a strategic use of one’s maddening influence…

Without so much as a word, Cloud heard the guard shuffling around, maybe purposefully dragging the soles of his boots across the floor. It was grating to hear, so much that Rufus eventually snapped at the subservient man for it.

“Shift yourself!”

“Sorry, Sir.”

Now that Cloud could no longer keep up his unconscious act, he began to wonder what it was the older man had to ask him.

His thoughts scattered away in a disorganized blur. He could hear alarm bells ringing off the hook in his brain and ears as the President approached. Cloud wanted to open his eyes, but the stinging sensation seeping all around the back of his skull left him as he was.

Pausing directly before Cloud, the impious leader reached out with a leg and tapped Cloud’s ankle. Moving it a few times, he hissed icily, “I don’t have time for your childish displays, so it would be in your best interest to cease and desist.”

A shadow fell along the length of the dingy floor, and it paused a few inches before Cloud. Refusing to raise his head and meet the eyes of the President, Cloud hoped his ‘submissive’ gesture would suffice. Opening his eyes and moving up into a sitting position, he began co-operating under duress.

Chuckling sounded from above, followed by a dull growl. “You’re awake, now, good. I told them not to cause you too much harm, but you kept struggling.”

Ignoring his throbbing skull and erratic heartbeat thrumming in a paroxysm of bitter agony, Cloud defiantly insisted on maintaining his own silence.

Peeved and irritated already, Rufus’ shoulders tightened as he snapped thinly, “Get up.”

When Cloud didn’t move, Rufus stood to the side, and the same guard who’d opened the cell door to check on him flocked in. Hoisting Cloud up on his feet after undoing his shackles, he hauled the young man out of the small area and marched him down the clean halls. Rufus followed closely, and as they walked on for a few moments, he chuckled cruelly, no doubt enjoying Cloud’s plight.

Wondering to what lengths his captor would go through and stoop to in order to utterly break and drain him, Cloud hoped the torture awaiting himself wouldn’t be too harsh. Perhaps Rufus had been sincere in saying he’d asked for his men not to harm him.

_‘Fat chance.’_

Finally, he’d been roused out of his musings and agony when a door squeaked open. Cloud was unceremoniously tossed into a new room right after, nearly crashing into a small coffee table along the way.

Rufus swept in the room, next, closing and locking the door behind himself. Turning about in his pristine, dapper outfit, he tossed a coy grin at the younger male on the floor. “No need to fear me; this’ll be quite painless provided you co-operate.” Easing off his dark gloves, he let out a long sigh as he threw them onto the table recklessly.

Making sure he stayed on the other side of the furniture, Cloud eyed the door quickly, wondering how long it would take to reach it if he put on a fresh burst of speed. Maybe a few seconds? Four, at the most? But what would Rufus do in that time?

As he’d been planning it all out, Rufus stood almost leaning over the edge of the small table, eyes sadistically beaming down into Cloud’s. He took up place before the door in Cloud’s vision, forcing the younger male to glare astringently at him.

“Such defiance in those eyes, still?” Chuckling in dastardly amusement, Rufus inquired additionally, “Do you not understand what’s happening, here?”

Cloud offered up no response. He instead sat staring around at the biggest bedroom he had seen in his life. Actually, it was more like a small apartment. It was divided into two sections separated by a large, open arched doorway. The area they currently occupied contained the table along with a large sofa and two doors. One led into the hall and Cloud could only assume that the other led to a bathroom. All that he could make out of the other section through the opening was a large bed with deep crimson sheets.

As he gaped around, Rufus scowled sternly at him. “Your battle technique is incredibly impressive, but that’s not why you’re here.”

Cloud could only hang his head and wonder why Rufus hadn’t just left locked him in the cell he had been in previously. Scathingly, he ground out between clenched teeth, “I don’t know shit about the materia you were talking about.”

That still hadn’t been what Rufus was driving at, sadly. He shook his head as he circled Cloud, and then began pacing around the table. His vagarish eyes roved about Cloud’s left arm, taking in something with high amounts of fascination. It was then that Cloud’s stomach dropped.

His Geostigma!

Though he cried covering it up, Rufus wasn’t allowing it. Smacking Cloud’s arms down to his sides, he growled irritably as he stared even more intently at the mark. Tapping it, as he did so, Cloud shivered once he realized how cold the new President’s fingers were.

Icily matching the deadly, greedy gaze in his eyes, Rufus drawled, “This is very, _very_ interesting. I haven’t seen anything like it, before, but when my men traveled and spent time in the Northern Cave, one of them said he saw visions of a young thing as scrawny as yourself with this exact mark on the left arm…”

Snarling, Cloud retreated with his arm cradled to his chest. Eyes flying up and down as a blush rose in his cheeks, he spat minaciously, “I don’t care. I don’t know anything about the cave or that materia. I don’t even know what it looks like!”

An awful grin managed to work its way on Rufus’ young face just then. “Your friends managed to escape,” Rufus randomly blurted, now standing just a foot away from Cloud. When the golden-haired ex-SOLDIER gasped, Rufus nodded. “Oh yes. They stole a truck from the building and have yet to be tracked down.”

His statement relieved Cloud; at least there was hope for Aerith and Tifa! They were okay!

“However,” the deceased President’s son went on, “we did find the dark-haired girl downstairs calling for you…” Not ruefully in the least, he mused, “Seems I underestimated you lot.”

That statement sent Cloud into turmoil. Tifa. She’d stuck around searching for him, but what else? Had she been caught again?!

Scolding his junior captive, almost, Rufus seemed bitter and perplexed. “But it seems she too escaped by overpowering the guards and stealing a motorcycle. So, it would appear that you are the only lead we have left to where the Ancient is headed.”

The last statement shocked Cloud. How was he supposed to know what Rufus was even talking about? Knowing he’d been referring to Aerith, he cried out desperately, “She didn’t say a-anything to us! She just left on her own!”

At last, Cloud had opened his mouth to say something, but the truth wasn’t settling into Rufus’ head. Unaccepting, he lunged and snatched Cloud’s left arm in his grasp, turning it about as he pointed at it.

“I’m interested more in _this,_ Cloud.” Grinning like a predator, he purred hungrily, “You see, when you were unconscious, Professor Hojo ran some tests, and he found that you have traces of Jenova cells in your system…”

Alarm bells blasted off in Cloud’s skull again when heard the name ‘Hojo’ pop up. Ears alert and neck craning up after he’d recovered from the shock the asperity yielded, he shouted in a blend of anger and turmoil, “What has that man done to me, now?! He’s responsible for a lot of messed up crap!”

A smirk formed its way on Rufus’ face, though Cloud couldn’t see it through his lidded eyes and heavy rage. “Still not realizing where you are?” Humming, Rufus stepped back as he announced, “You are on the top floor of the Shinra building. This is one of the few rooms in the entire building that isn’t constantly being monitored by cameras.”

Cloud found himself confused and abandoned to a balbutient trance. He thought that the President’s office was the top floor. He’d remembered it that way when Sephiroth had killed Rufus’ father, but had something else changed?

Rufus continued, shrewdly, “This room offers maximum privacy. Even the walls are lined so that they are soundproof.”

Cloud shuddered as he felt the President’s body closing in on himself. Very little room was left between their bodies, now, and Rufus was far too close for comfort.

Jaw quivering, Cloud felt the last traces of his bravery seeping away like melting icicles. Rufus’ gaze was far too intent, far too deep, and beyond menacing.

“That’s the great thing about this room,” Rufus affirmed as he wrapped his large hands around Cloud’s bound wrists. “I could torture you until you’ve breathed your very last breath, and no one would hear a thing.”

Cloud trembled at the thought that Rufus was willing to go that far, and he didn’t even know anything to tell him. Pleading wasn’t going to work, but he still pushed out with urgency, “I’m t-telling you whatever I know!”

“You’re not, Cloud.” Blandly, Rufus’ pointed gaze fell lower along Cloud’s body, and a shadow of what seemed like lust soon took over. Hoping and praying it was his imagination acting out due to suffering from serious head trauma, Cloud ignored the sullied look he was on the receiving end of.

Swallowing, he cleared his airways as he grunted awkwardly, “I don’t know much a-about this mark, or what Aerith wanted to do!” Cursing himself for his inability to say a word to betray his bond-mate, Cloud barely whispered ‘please’, when Rufus lashed out.

Furious with the answers he was receiving, Rufus then took the collar of Cloud’s sweater, pulling the younger man closer to himself. The President then whispered into his ear hotly, “I don’t believe you’re listening to me. I have the authority and the power to drag you to hell and back and nobody will be here to help you, Cloud.”

Standing back and assessing the trembling youth, the President smiled viciously. “I’ve had my eyes on you for some time, Cloud. I’ve seen you growing in your prowess and your skill, and I’m certainly _not_ as stupid and dull as my father was.”

As these strident words left the older man’s mouth, Cloud’s eyes shot open as wide as they could go. He knew how ruthless and detached Rufus was when it came to his deceased father, but he didn’t think the new Shinra leader would stoop to this level.

Timorously, he blushed beet red as he gasped, “S-Sephiroth’s…I d-don’t—”

Leaning into him drastically, the stray bits of Rufus’ sandy-colored hair tickled Cloud’s forehead. Veneer both malicious and eerily pleasant, Rufus droned on, “I believe you know far too much about Hojo’s ‘Project S’.”

Beyond astonishment, Cloud shook his head slowly, still trying to cling to his tainted denial. “W-what—you—” was all he could manage to say before Rufus sneered and cut his arguments off.

“Playing stupid, huh?” Scoffing, he commented to himself, “I see. You suppose I’m as ignorant as just about anyone in Midgar.”

Scowling, Cloud composed himself quickly as he snapped abominably, “S-stop it! Just let me go!”

Nose upturned in the air snidely, Rufus gave one firm head shake. “I think not. Now then, are you going to tell me what you know about the Ancient’s whereabouts?”

Eyeing the door just a few feet behind Rufus, looming like the very thing he would never be able to seize, Cloud tried to kick and stomp on Rufus’ legs. It didn’t prove useful when the older male wrapped a hand around his throat and lifted him a few inches off the floor. As Cloud choked, Rufus growled like a demon.

“I’m warning you, Cloud. I’ve already given you a chance, here, and believe it or not, I know very well of your ties to Sephiroth.” Snickering impishly, he drew their faces closer than ever, so much that they shared heat. Rubbing his face against Cloud’s cheek like a feline, he deeply purred in joy, “Why else do you think I was able to find Jenova and take precious ‘Mother’ away without the good son knowing?”

As Cloud gaped at him, Rufus threw his head back and laughed a small bark of a sadistic laugh. “It all happened right under his very nose, too. A good son would’ve known.” Fingers dipping into Cloud’s throat and slowly squeezing the life from him, Rufus took far too much pleasure in displaying his power and dominance.

Clawing at the back of the hand lifting his weak body up even higher, Cloud wheezed through his nose, choking down mouthfuls of air as best as he could. “P-please…I-I—”

“You share his power now, and I can see that.” Rufus punched Cloud hard in the jaw as he howled mightily, “Tell me where Sephiroth and the Ancient are!”

“I…told you, I d-d-don’t know…” Cloud exhaled feebly, expecting another punch.

Bleeding arrogance and raw fury, Rufus looked like the pinnacle of monsters and malice as he stood even taller before Cloud. With a terrifying growl, he pushed the young man all the way back until he slammed into a wall. Dust and debris caked down from the wall, and Cloud shrieked in pain as he tried kicking free once more.

Pressing himself right against the younger male, Rufus panted heavily in the center of Cloud’s ears like a wild animal. “Your essence is what’s making him stronger, but it _can_ also kill him.” With a small sigh, he expounded, “I want him out of the way as much as Avalanche does, but I know you won’t listen to me. If _you’re_ the source of that monster’s will and strength, then I’m going to defile that, by _force_.”

Instead of more vile beatings being delivered to himself, the next thing Cloud noticed was Rufus cupping his face. He hardly had a few seconds to gulp down fresh air when he was caught in a crushing kiss with Rufus. Cloud’s heart ceased beating for a moment at the unpredictability of it all. This was deadly and ran completely counter to what aided in his life source surging on in his veins. 

Attempting to bite down on the tongue pressing against his lips would no doubt assist in Rufus doing much worse. At the same time, Cloud knew he couldn’t end it either because the other man was holding his chin in place. Plainly stuck, Cloud felt his energy draining far more rapidly than when he’d been in dire need of Sephiroth. It seemed as though his soul had been sucked clean out of his corpse, leaving him to rot in the husky shell of his physical torso.

What started as confusion soon led to pain for Cloud as Rufus bit into his bottom lip. Cloud tried to struggle free once more, but the President’s hold was too strong. Wailing in terror, he wrenched his hands up, though pulling at Rufus’ hair and clothes did nothing but cause Cloud more pain. He was bashed against the wall, and the older male overpowered him by clamping down on his hands and slamming them above his own head.

Panicking worse than he ever remembered since his hometown had burnt to a crisp, Cloud felt his eyes stinging due to not having blinked in nearly a full minute.

 _‘This isn’t supposed to happen! Sephiroth! Please!’_ Unsure of whether his older bond-mate would even be able to hear his desperate cries, Cloud found that once he’d started chanting out canorously for help, he wasn’t able to stop.

_‘Help me, Sephiroth! Help me! I don’t want this! Dear gods!’_

When Rufus finally released Cloud’s lips, they both had a trail of crimson running down their mouths. The new Shinra Empire President held a darker aura about himself as his eyes shrouded Cloud in darkness he didn’t think he would ever be able to escape strongly.

As Rufus perversely licked at the younger man’s blood running along his chin, he uttered breathlessly, “Why fight me? Isn’t it pointless when you don’t even have half the power I do?” Fingers ghosted along Cloud’s sides and hips, eerily dancing closer to his lower abdomen, voicing their true intentions.

Cloud’s mouth filled with more blood and he could only bring himself to declaim brokenly, “I’m telling the truth! I haven’t been c-close to Sephiroth! I don’t even—”

He was shaken roughly before Rufus interrupted him boorishly.

“You honestly want me to believe that?” The older blonde inquired, administering another savage punch, this time to Cloud’s stomach.

Cloud tried to move his hands to comfort where the blow had been dealt but was reminded that he was still bound by physical chains, as well as by Rufus’ hold over his trapped form.

“I s-swear, I’m t-telling you the t-truth!” He could only hang his head dejectedly as he tried to forget the pain as well as the rising mortification when Rufus forced his legs apart. Cloud tightly shut his eyes, trying to skirt past all the pain and disgrace. By the time he looked up, he was in a state of shock to see that Rufus was working to already unbutton and unzip his business suit. The upper portion of it soon lay discarded on the floor.

He couldn’t believe it. This man had to be kidding. He wasn’t really going to commit such an unspeakable evil against him. Was he?

Cloud closed his eyes again, trying to pretend he was anywhere but there in the company of the vile male. However, he soon heard Rufus’ dark shirt fluttering to the floor followed by the sounds of the young President approaching him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Istg, it isn’t going down like you think.


	38. Diversions and a Reunion

Cloud tried making a quick break for the door, but it was no use when his captor was much faster. After taking two steps, Rufus wrapped an arm around Cloud’s waist, and he lifted the smaller, thinner male off the floor with perfect ease. Dumping Cloud onto the only bed in the room strongly, Rufus then pressed a knee down over Cloud’s ribs, ensuring that the youth wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Allow me to show you,” the new President growled while violently grabbing a handful of the younger man’s hair and pulling his head upward, “what true pain really is.”

With that, Rufus knelt and draped a thick arm over Cloud’s chest, rolling him off his knees and deeper into the mattress. Pain shot through Cloud’s head as it was hit over the same place that had been aching prior when he’d been violently knocked out. The use of his legs had been taken away as Rufus pried them open by wedging a sharp kneecap between his thighs once he’d successfully rolled Cloud over onto his stomach.

“STOP!” Pushing against the taller male, Cloud wriggled as much as he could, but was again rammed into the concrete objects next to the bed. His cheek knocked into a footstool, his nose nearly hit a drawer of a night table, and his mind was spinning rapidly in circles. Hooking his fingers into the deep red satin sheets, Cloud squirmed again, but he only managed to tangle himself in the bedsheets more than actually breaking free.

It didn’t help that Rufus had grabbed hold of his hair once more and was grinding his head further into the mattress as he pressed his lips to Cloud’s still pain-filled ones. The demanding, raw bite and sinister edge to the defiled ‘kiss’ was horrendous in comparison to all the gentle, soothing, and adorning ones Sephiroth had shared with him. Weeping as he tried imagining Sephiroth’s warm lips instead of Rufus’, Cloud let out a pained shriek as he bashed his forehead into Rufus’ and then bit as hard as he could on the older male’s lower lip.

Ripping free once he violently backhanded Cloud for daring to pull such a move, Rufus wiped his swollen lip as he grunted while panting lustfully, “I told you before; I own you, Cloud. Acting this way only riles me up.” With that declared as wantonly as possible, Rufus’ mouth trailed further down to Cloud’s chin and neck as his other hand moved to between the younger man’s legs, causing him to gasp acutely.

Chuckling when his captive prisoner began arching away, Rufus scathingly chastised, “What’s the matter? Isn’t this what you want?” Testing the waters, he toyed with the clasp of Cloud’s trousers, almost yanking the zipper down in one go. Chuckling a sinister chuckle when Cloud whimpered in pure fear, Rufus seemed pleased.

The sadist of a man drawled coldly, “You could at least enjoy it…or _try_ to. It may be easier that way.”

Feeling sick to his stomach, Cloud begged emotionally, “N-no…p-please w-wait!”

“Sorry, Cloud,” the austere young President unremorsefully sang out, pressing himself lewdly over Cloud’s body, making sure to slide a hand over his toned abs. Moving Cloud’s sweater up so his limb had more room to wander about, Rufus gushed, “I haven’t ever been forceful with someone in my bed, before, but there really is no other way to sully you and render that rogue SOLDIER weak, is there?”

Sobbing in defeat, Cloud lay there on his back, hoping and praying it would end soon. Rufus bent to yank the rest of Cloud’s dark sweater up, when a cold, bright flash glinted over the walls and ceiling. A second later, an odd ringing noise could be heard from behind Rufus, and as the President froze, he grunted in shock and pain. Eyes wide, he knelt rigidly before Cloud, and his breathing quickened.

Mouth open in an ‘o’ shape depicting true bafflement, he then let out a slow laugh as he resentfully admonished, “How cowardly to aim for my back.”

Cloud perked up as he stared past Rufus’ bare, upper torso. A shiny gleam bounced from the length of a long, deadly sword as the tip poked the President in the back of his neck. Standing tall while gripping his Masamune, Sephiroth’s eyes were glaring minacious daggers into Rufus’ skull.

With a pointed jab, both verbal and physical at the young Shinra President, Sephiroth demanded in a cutting snarl, “Get your filthy, stained hands off him, _now_.” When Rufus froze, almost testy enough to foolishly challenge Sephiroth, the renowned One Winged warrior growled as he nearly dug his Masamune’s tip into the pale smoothness of Rufus’ skin.

Ignoring the hiss of agony streaming forth from his nemesis’ lips, Sephiroth snarled viciously, “This is the last time I’ll ask. Get away from him!”

The way he’d been handled and treated was plenty reviling but seeing Sephiroth standing there in the room with them lit Cloud’s hopes anew. Heart fluttering in excitement and relief, he wriggled and squirmed beneath Rufus as soon as the brute of a man budged away. Cloud shifted to create just the right amount of space for himself to inch away from the older blonde, tearing off the bed as though it would detonate. 

Rufus hadn’t moved yet, but he held his arms out in a surrender as Cloud moved to stand by Sephiroth. Checking to see if he was fine and in good health, the older male took his time before taking half a step closer to Rufus. As imposing as Sephiroth aimed to be, Rufus Shinra’s self-satisfied smirk laced with an air of gloating was far too overbearing.

Bold and craven enough to test Sephiroth’s patience and limits, Rufus jutted out his chin as he snidely inquired, “How many men have you slaughtered, do you suppose?”

Equally as enraged and livid, Sephiroth thickly spat, “Not nearly as many as I’d like.”

Pressing the Masamune into the stunned leader’s skin, Sephiroth didn’t hesitate in showing he was going for blood. Fearful over another war breaking out and new enemies mounting, Cloud’s trembling hand flew up to press down over Sephiroth’s gloved ones. When they made contact, Sephiroth visibly inhaled sharply, breath caught in his throat.

Eyes wide, he turned his head to the side as he regarded Cloud in awe. “What are you—”

Shaking his head firmly, Cloud begged, “Don’t…please just don’t…just forget him, Sephiroth.” Evidently, his words and tone pried Sephiroth’s spiteful gaze away from Rufus.

Carefully, Sephiroth swiped with his weapon, and he broke the shackles binding Cloud directly in half. The bits fell to the floor like tiny diamonds, rendering Cloud terrified but also grateful that Sephiroth had finally freed his wrists.

Spinning himself to face the shorter male, Sephiroth factually pointed out, “You want to spare him? After what he already did to you and was about to do, then?” Gruffly, he snorted and shook his head, bewildered from start to finish. “I don’t understand you, Cloud, and I don’t think I ever shall.”

Tugging on Sephiroth’s dark trench coat, Cloud whined with tears brimming in his eyes, “Please! Just leave it alone!”

Challenging that with much spite, Sephiroth argued, “I don’t think so. He used you to get to me, and he’ll have to answer for that.”

Smirking like a gloating, depraved lunatic, Rufus Shinra held up a hand as he admitted to his flawed, ‘moral reasoning’ callously, “He isn’t wrong there.” Eyes dancing along Cloud’s form, he enjoyed making the younger male squirm as he intoned maliciously, “I had a feeling that if I even so much as looked at you in the wrong way, he’d come running…”

Standing swiftly as he redressed without any care in the world, Rufus buttoned his dark shirt up and fixed the collar as he eyed Cloud perversely. It sent execrable shivers up and down the youth’s spine, but he wasn’t fixating on Cloud as he previously was. Instead, he examined Sephiroth closely, taking a few moments of pensive silence to add onto the tension. Now that it was rife and ranked the air in a foul way, Rufus flicked his hands down as he peeked down at Sephiroth’s midriff.

Snickering as he imbued both Cloud and Sephiroth with an uneasy cataclasm of vitriol, he berated the taller male first. “Not feeling well, are we?” Tipping his head downward in an odd angle, his eyes swam over from left to right about Sephiroth’s upper chest as he then sighed. Seemingly pleased with what he’d stated, Rufus paused before he flicked his hair away from his eyes.

Latching onto Rufus’ question disguised more as a declaration of sorts, Cloud peeked his head around Sephiroth’s chest and stomach as well. “What’s he talking about?”

There was something cataphysical and unnatural at work, and Cloud felt it deeply in his blood, soul, and saw fleeting visions of it, even though Sephiroth turned away from him.

Amused by Cloud’s ignorance, Rufus commented blandly, “Ah, so he _doesn’t_ know. Interesting.” Wagging his finger back and forth at Sephiroth, he criticized churlishly, “Keeping him in the dark, are you? Well, I’ll be more forgiving and forthcoming, then.”

Turning away from him, Cloud sourly spat, “I don’t need to listen to you! Sephiroth, come on!” As he tried to lead Sephiroth away, he found that the One Winged Angel was rooted and frozen stiffly in place. His legs locked firmly, and he wasn’t even moving. Strangely, he lowered his weapon as he hung his head despondently and glared at his boots.

Defeatedly, Sephiroth growled, “Cloud, I don’t need to tell you anything, anymore.”

Beyond betrayed as his heart felt unfulfilled, Cloud resisted the urge to slap and kick Sephiroth. The only thing that was holding him back was his feelings, but he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t overheating with fury. Sephiroth was still a renegade, and there now existed a fine line between a loss of trust and redemption.

Remembering that Rufus had presented comments and arguments regarding the soul bond and strength being drawn from himself to supply Sephiroth, Cloud had to stop and wonder. What if Rufus was telling the truth, for once? What if?

Nauseous as he pondered it, he rasped, “He said th-that my purity h-helped you get stronger…” Pain etched all over his face, but it wasn’t any match for how broken and destroyed he felt on the inside. Hopes draining quickly, his heart sank as he cried on a wheeze, “W-was all that true? Was I growing weaker so you could grow stronger?”

Sephiroth had no answer. Holding his right hand to his ribs, he teetered to the side, appearing as though he was going to faint. Troubled by that more than the argument, Cloud became distracted. Sephiroth’s face was whiter than a mountain of snow, and his virid eyes seemed lifeless. Ipso facto, Cloud knew something was horribly wrong. 

The Masamune nearly slipped out of Sephiroth’s hand and clattered to the floor. Cloud swiftly grabbed it, and with his free arm, he wrapped the limb around Sephiroth’s shoulders, pulling him up and balancing him back on his feet.

Worriedly, he nudged the taller, stronger ex-SOLDIER as he wailed, “Sephiroth! What’s wrong?! What’s going on?!”

“I believe I have the answer to your questions.” Rufus’ voice snaked around the room in a slimy, greasy manner, and Cloud didn’t wish to bare himself to it.

A genius even could conclude and previse that Rufus could’ve been leading them down the wrong path. Shockingly, Sephiroth didn’t argue while he pressed against Cloud until he could muster up the strength and will to stand on his own. Their knees buckled, but they kept up while Rufus observed them closely.

Triumphant in their suffering, the wrongfully victorious President gleamed at Cloud and Sephiroth. “He’s traded limited immortality for the price of _mortality,_ something which I assume he hadn’t thought of prior to freeing himself from his confines in the North Crater.”

Inelegantly tossing Cloud a rather toxic sneer, Rufus extrapolated with malice, “Or, rather, I should say, since he became free of his confines in the North Crater, thanks to _you._ ”

The abrasive words weren’t ones Cloud was easily willing to accept, but Rufus wanted him to hear them loud and clear. Almost daintily, he pushed and brushed his clothes and hair back into perfect place, retrieving his upper jacket. Placing it on himself elegantly, he raised his head and scoffed at his two ‘guests’ with disdain and unmitigated contempt.

“There’s a price to pay for everything. Trifling with powerful magic of the Ancients, linking your soul to his; all of it is killing you _both_.” Grinning as pleasantly as ever, Rufus expounded almost fondly, “Professor Hojo’s ‘Reunion Theory’ is turning out quite nicely, I see. Sephiroth borrowed more time and life from _you;_ not the Lifestream, hence his drastically weakened state.”

Though he’d heard of this before, it slowly sank into his skull and his consciousness in a new way altogether. Sephiroth was becoming _human,_ which more than likely meant he had weaknesses, flaws, and limits to his previously superior, illimitable powers and skills.

Pointing at the silver-haired warrior while pacing slowly in measured steps, Rufus crowed tauntingly, “Welcome to becoming human. While I’m glad to finally meet the real _you,_ I can’t say that life’s being kind to you.”

Breathing harshly and with much difficulty, Sephiroth nudged Cloud out of his way as he swiped his Masamune from the diffident youth’s grip and wielded it with awkwardness. Fumbling and quivering, he wasn’t able to hold his weapon as confidently and potently as he once had. The diffugient lights bouncing from the room and windows onto the length of the blade were blinding, and Rufus blinked away from it as he shielded his eyes with a hand.

Growling at the back of his throat, Sephiroth strained himself as he inched back and began pushing Cloud toward the door. “We’re wasting time here listening to your sententious garbage.” With one more nudge, he’d escorted his junior out of Rufus’ private rooms as silently as he himself had entered them.

That wasn’t a comforting thing, seeing as the younger male was terrifyingly concerned, but Cloud tore after him with a million questions on his disorganized mind.

Weaving down the halls in random patterns, the journey seemed far too grueling and taxing, beyond any description. Before they were far from Rufus’ private rooms, the young leader cried out crisply at them, his shouting almost akin to a promise, as opposed to a declaration.

“Let deeds, not words be your adorning!”

They savagely tore down the halls of the Shinra building, desperately searching for the stairs or an elevator; anything to escape and make it out in quick time. Rufus must have alerted his security team, however, for the moment Cloud and Sephiroth ambled down the hall and turned to the left, they were faced off with two men in dark suits.

Cloud recognized them both at once. The shorter man had bright red hair tied back in a loose ponytail. His overall appearance never changed...it was the same as when Cloud first laid eyes on him: a red, spikey, disheveled mess. Those turquoise eyes that cast vicious glares in Cloud’s direction countless times were now furious and burning with the promise of swift death.

The second male, taller with a shaven head and shades much like Barret’s was equally as imposing as he flexed his muscles beneath his dark suit and cracked his knuckles.

Out loud, Cloud whispered dejectedly, “Reno and Rude…good to see you goons out and about.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Huffing inelegantly, Reno glared deadly daggers forth at Cloud, and then at Sephiroth. Pointing at them both evenly, he snarled bitterly, “You two? Partners, huh?” Snorting, he shook his head as he laughed to Rude, “Looks like we may get our true rematch, now!” To add his own sarcastic deference to the mix, he awkwardly performed a bow.

Sephiroth glowered at the two Turks as he hissed dangerously, “I don’t have time for this! Step out of my way, and I’ll consider forgetting we ran into each other.” Gripping his side, he grunted, head lowered as he gave out a pained expression.

This sent Reno and Rude into gasps as the darkly clad Turks studied the tall One Winged Angel carefully. Rude was more subtle about his state of awe, while his younger, shorter companion threw back his head and hooted at the ceiling.

“Looks like the President was right!” Kicking a foot in the air and stomping it down near Sephiroth, he howled triumphantly, “You’re all messed up, bro!”

Sensing that Sephiroth was losing patience, Cloud carefully begged, “Please, we don’t want to fight you right now! Just let us pass, and we’ll—”

Dancing about in a mild taunt, Reno blew a raspberry. “Bah! Screw that!”

Without warning, the super flexible, agile Reno kicked Cloud in the nose, backflipping in the air and flying away as he cackled. Landing smoothly on his feet, he gave out another mock bow as he sang out gleefully, “Like I said before; it’s nothing personal, bitch!”

If it wasn’t for the fury that flowed through Sephiroth like lava upon seeing that his bond-mate had been hit, Cloud might have found his lover’s tempestuous outbursts amusing. But it was there, that fire, bubbling under the surface, and it made Sephiroth’s bossiness more dangerous than irritating. It also meant that they had to start taking the fight seriously, seeing as Reno and Rude weren’t letting them pass.

Rude was already cracking his knuckles again menacingly and wriggling his fingers in his dark gloves, circling Sephiroth like a shark.

Prancing about with a smug grin plastered onto his face, Reno drawled, “Okay, I’ll tell ya what; we are going to spar, and _you_ , dickhead,” he made an effort to point crudely at Cloud, “will be fighting _without_ cheating weapons. Let’s see what you’ve got in you!”

Fists clenched as Reno shifted from carrying his Electro-Mag Rod in his right hand to wielding it in the left as he normally did for combat, Cloud boldly spat, “Let’s just finish this, jackass.”

Of course, Reno had cheated immediately. Nimble and quick, he flipped and dove above Cloud’s head, poking him in the back of the neck with the taser end of his weapon. When Cloud tried to recover with a punch, Reno used his lightning quick reflexes and speed, propelling himself out of the way while he kicked Cloud in the shins.

Rude was already covering a lot of ground quickly, fists lashing out at his opponent. Sephiroth firmed his grip on his sword and braced himself, standing tall and broad. When ready, he raised his light weapon effortlessly to deflect one of Rude’s attacks. Much too swiftly, in spite of being weak, Sephiroth cleverly predicted Rude’s follow-up attack already and turned all that rushing energy back on him in one smooth, fluid movement. The Turk staggered back a few steps but smoothly rallied, regained his balance and readied his battle stance once more.

Swirling around Cloud faster than a tornado with untarnished moves, Reno cackled like a rowdy, fiendish monster as he booted the shorter male as powerfully as he could with the butt end of his taser. The force zapped Cloud right in the tailbone, and he cried out in brutal pain as he nearly fell to his knees. He knew from previously battling with Reno that the moment he went down, the cruel Turk would unleash an unforgiving attack. It was a lot wiser to remain on his feet with his eyes locked onto his opponent.

Swinging the Electro-Mag Rod in the air a few times and then tossing it up above his head as though it were a damn baton, Reno playfully inquired, “So, do you think you can seriously win this time, jerk?”

As soon as the vorpal weapon came down again, Cloud answered the annoying Turk’s question by blocking his first attack. Grabbing Reno’s wrist tightly, Cloud yanked him close as he snarled aggressively, “Yes, I do...” With that said, he bashed his own forehead into Reno’s, effectively rendering the other male dazed.

Stumbling about, Reno pressed a hand to his bruised forehead, and as he was distracted, Cloud went to kick him down. Unfortunately, if Cloud had assumed that fighting Reno with a weapon was bad enough, without the use of one, the fight was damn near impossible. Reno recovered a lot faster than he anticipated, and he grabbed onto Cloud’s foot as he finished by throwing the ex-SOLDIER onto the floor roughly.

Grinning a toothy, warped grin, Reno mocked, “You still suck at this, you know.”

Snorting in disgust, Cloud fired back tauntingly, “I may suck, but if I had a weapon and was cheating and flying about like a damn princess half the time, maybe I’d be as good as you, huh?”

Rude dashed like a madman at Sephiroth, swinging his right fist for a damaging uppercut. Sephiroth ducked away on time, practically zipping through the air like a bullet as he appeared behind the startled Turk and bashed him over the back of the head with the handle of his Masamune.

Stumbling forth, Rude growled acerbically, “Whether you’re real or fake, someone’s gotta put you down.”

While Sephiroth calculated the feasibility of Rude’s boast, Cloud and Reno danced around each other. Cloud did his best to dodge the stunning blows, but it became irritating and difficult to do so when Reno added his classic lightning-based attacks to stun his opponent.

Reno whistled as he picked up the pace, cartwheeling around Cloud, clearly enjoying that he was playing with his ‘victim’ in such a sadistic manner.

Gritting his teeth and squinting while he shrugged off his pain, Cloud yelled, “This is pointless rivalry! There’s no honor in this!”

“You and your honor can both kiss my ass,” Reno spat scathingly at the apotheosis of annoyance as he flipped his ponytail over his shoulder and dove at Cloud.

Simultaneously, both young men prepared an attack, but Cloud was much faster. Unleashing a cutting jab directly into Reno’s stomach, he finished it with a kick while Sephiroth struggled not to harm and seriously maim Rude.

“What’s the point?” Cloud harshly wondered, not really searching for an answer to his question. It’d taken Reno by surprise as he coughed and sputtered, clutching his stomach as his eyes turned red and moist.

Waving his arms in the air, Cloud rasped additionally, “Do you even have a serious reason for attacking me? Or do you have some personal vendetta, here?” Emphatically, he lamented putridly, “I’m not even armed!”

Rude ducked to the side when Sephiroth pointed his Masamune at his shoulder, quickly catching the top SOLDIER off-guard. Before he could land a hit, however, Sephiroth swiftly hit the strong Turk in the jaw with his elbow.

Sunglasses nearly flying off his face due to the potent force of the blow, Rude held onto the handles of his shades as he growled, “So, you want to play that way…” Rubbing his jaw tamely, he then jumped forward and kicked Sephiroth right in the gut.

Unable to move away from it, once Rude’s thick leg connected with Sephiroth’s stomach, he landed on his back. Rude, in a flash, stood over him, with his foot resting on his captured foe’s abdomen.

Cloud tried anything to subdue Reno. He usually never resorted to such low tactics in physical combat, but he was running out of options when Sephiroth had fallen. Without even thinking, he reached around Reno’s shoulders and tugged as hard as he could on the younger Turk’s ponytail.

His answer was Reno bashing his knee into his sternum before grabbing his foot and pulling Cloud down to the tiled floor.

“Don’t touch me, you stupid—”

Laughing heartily as though he was passing time with a good friend, Cloud humorously taunted Reno while flatly draped on his chest. “Aww, what a little bitch!” Bitingly, he cooed, “What’s the matter? Afraid to bleed and bruise a little?”

Cocking his head in leery confusion, Reno hissed, “What’re you—”

Across the hall, Rude emitted a pained growl as Sephiroth overpowered him with a surprise kick. With the strong Turk down on the floor, now, Sephiroth flew up, rapidly approaching Reno.

As the Masamune sang dangerously, Reno let out a yelp. Carefully, he stepped backwards, instinctively trying to avoid the sweep of the shiny blade. Though he made no move to start a counterattack, Sephiroth backed him into a corner, trapping him once his back hit the wall.

Sephiroth’s eyes were beyond deadly as he asked, “Will you get out of my way, now?”

Something cold flashed in Reno’s eyes. “Nah, not just yet.” Holding his arms up in surrender as he dropped his Electro-Mag Rod, Reno still had a knowing little grin on his face, shielded beneath the surface.

Sephiroth observed the clenching of Reno’s hand, the first two fingers flicking up as though signaling to someone hidden. Cloud saw it as well, and from his position on the floor, he saw the clever Turk’s right hand sneaking down his back to the belt of his dark dress pants. Along with the shiny gleam of a concealed sword, there was the tiny movement of his left foot. He was getting ready for another attack, using his pointless taunting of his enemies as a distraction. Cloud pretended it had worked, directing his gaze towards Reno, waiting for his response.

Rolling his eyes, Reno sighed in pretense, “Maybe you got me…but maybe…”

In a split second, Sephiroth raised his sword, met Reno’s blow, and their weapons clashed. Somehow, he could also sense Rude creeping up on him, and he brushed his shoulders back and briefly shoved the Turk away. Shifting the Masamune around, he ducked down for a swift, sweeping kick to force Reno off balance. At the same time, Rude came flying up, but when Sephiroth eased himself out of the way, Rude sailed on right for Reno.

Screaming in panic, Reno waved his arms as he cried out in fear, “Wait! Hold up, you big dumbass!” It was no use; Rude was charging adamantly, with no intentions of a cease and desist.

“WAAAAAIIIIIT!”

Rude bashed right into Reno, sending them both to the floor in a clumsy heap. Though squashed, Reno didn’t show signs of ceasing. Shoving Rude off himself, he roared a ferocious roar as he withdrew his concealed sword once more. Charging at Sephiroth, they began neatly countering move after move, until Sephiroth raised his own sword again and caught his opponent’s attention with the Masamune’s sharp, gleaming edge.

This time his follow-up kick struck home, and Reno tumbled to the floor. Distracted by the threat of Sephiroth’s deadly blade, he’d left himself wide open to more mundane attacks.

Cloud was now back on his feet, and while Sephiroth had both Turks under his weapon, the younger male tugged on one of Sephiroth’s uniform sleeves.

Shaking his head wearily at his downed foes, Sephiroth hissed in exhaustion, “Too much passion, far too much imagination, not enough concentration. That’s why your battles always end the same way, no matter how much you think you can win.”

Spitting out blood in a foul way close to Sephiroth’s booted feet, Reno chuckled as he pointed up at the ceiling. Alarm bells went off in the entire building, and red lights nearly blinded Cloud.

“Looks like our friends got our asses covered,” Reno argued with a satisfied glint in his eyes.

With one last groan, Rude tried punching at the tall, elite former SOLDIER. Sephiroth shrugged, deflecting Rude’s attack smoothly in the process. Exhausted, weak, and drained beyond comprehension, like an old rag, Rude folded and crumpled down onto the floor wearily.

Cloud gaped at his bond-mate. It occurred to himself now that things were calmer that he’d just fought alongside Sephiroth…since he was a child, he’d been dreaming of this glorifying moment, and now that the opportunity had stumbled into his lap, he hadn’t even properly enjoyed it…

Clearly irate now that Rude had been knocked out, Reno roared, “Take me seriously, you bastard piece of shit!”

Immediately, Reno was on both feet again, and he ran at Sephiroth like a demon once he’d gripped savagely onto materia he’d produced from his pockets. Fire balling in his palms, hair streaming out behind himself, he was truly an intimidating sight to behold.

Nonplussed, however, Sephiroth dodged the first fireball, deflected the second with the flat of his blade, and shredded the third to harmless fireworks with the edge of his weapon. Reno snarled in frustration, but Sephiroth didn’t miss the grudging respect in his eyes. They’d arrived at a stalemate in the battle, and since Sephiroth hadn’t used all his strength, there was no way to tell who the winner would be, for now.

Though he wasn’t finished, yet, when Cloud attempted to attack Reno and render him unconscious, Sephiroth snagged the young Turk’s suit collar with the tip of his Masamune. Hoisting the man up and pressing him against a wall so their eyes met, Sephiroth revealed his white teeth as his eyes hooked onto Reno’s exacerbated ones.

“If I were you, I’d rethink where my loyalties lie.”

Choking and coughing, Reno pressed out in vexation, “What do you mean?”

Seriously and sternly, Sephiroth answered, “A blind sheep? I wonder how long you’ll last under the control of your corrupt, duplicitous government.” Removing his blade’s tip from the Turk’s clothing, he stepped away as he snarled, “Through sparing your life, today, I hope you reflect on the choices you’ve made, the choices you will make, in the future, and ask yourself if your government is really worth dying for.”

When Sephiroth released him and lowered him to the floor dully, Reno released a pained grunt, gingerly dabbing the area the Masamune had cut into. Chest heaving with great amounts of difficulty, Reno avoided peering at the flashing, red lights, the ominous alarms blazing off nonstop. It was enough to give anyone a throbbing headache.

Wincing in his discomfort, he begrudgingly inquired in one wheeze, “You’re…not making a-any sense…”

Nose upturned, Sephiroth pointed out abrasively and bluntly, “You’re a pawn in this game. You’re nothing but a meatsuit, easily disposable once you’ve become obsolete.” Pressing an arm over his own sternum, he icily hissed between clenched teeth, “As was I, once.”

Doors were opening and closing frantically in the halls, and the sounds of many pairs of boots storming about rang through the shrill alarms. It all meant more security officers would arrive, shortly. Cloud knew they had to leave, and with the grim thoughts of Tifa and Aerith running into trouble or possibly being hurt, he began growing desperate and hopeless.

Gently touching Sephiroth’s back, he whispered fearfully, “Aerith and Tifa, where are they?”

Not wanting to answer, Sephiroth tried capturing Cloud’s right hand in his own, but the obstinate youth fought back.

Leaping away, Cloud slapped Sephiroth’s arms away as he defiantly roared, “No! I’m _not_ going _anywhere_ until you tell me what’s going on!”

This was too much to take and handle at once, and after the trauma his body had suffered through, the ordeals stacked on top of each other too greatly and too deeply.

Eyes rolling back into his head as he began hyperventilating, Cloud let out a whimper before he collapsed against Sephiroth. Both men were truly drained, but Sephiroth clung on as he fought to hold Cloud in his arms. Hoisting and draping the youth in his strong limbs, he grunted as he inched towards the door while Reno kept on watching them super closely and carefully.

Along the way, leading right out of the expansive area, up the steps, and all the way outside onto the rooftop were dark feathers littering the path. They followed Sephiroth, but once the wind outside picked up, they too were scattered and forgotten.

* * *

Holy hell, I had waaaaay too much fun with Reno and Rude taking Cloud and Sephiroth on. These loveably insane Turks are too precious!


	39. Elysium

Cloud faded in and out of consciousness while Sephiroth moved him closer and closer to an area that was not only super warm and moist, but smoggy as well as rainy, from what he could sense. The dewy drops plastered onto his skin eerily, and Cloud blinked up as he took a brief glance at their surroundings. A green-grey sky greeted his sore eyes, first, followed by thick, heavy foliage. They appeared to be somewhere in the middle of the woods, if he had to guess, but nothing in the way of a distinctive landmark gave their exact location away. 

Small shrines greeted him, but he largely ignored them. The moist air that had followed them on their path here now converged to make rolling fog banks all over the ground. Sephiroth continued up along the gravel and mud, eyeing large stairs Cloud couldn’t see more than a few flights up. As he looked behind himself, he found that the fog also swallowed the bushes and trees Sephiroth had glided past.

That was when he peeked up at his bond-mate, and he espied something else on Sephiroth’s right shoulder. The only thing Cloud was able to identify was a long, pink ribbon, and wavy brown hair flowing down.

“Aerith…”

Slightly out of breath from the exertion, Cloud panted and clawed at Sephiroth’s back in a final plea. The older male stopped abruptly, and quite shockingly so. Dangling Aerith over his shoulder, he glared down at a weather worn bench next to a small jizo shrine. A guardian of woman and children, this one did not look particularly cared for and was covered in moss, gradually becoming part of the forest. The fog had gotten heavier and the tall trees around them dripped water as it started to bleed into thick mist.

Their eyes locking, the smell of rich earth mixed with Sephiroth’s natural body odors, and the taste of blood tickling his senses did nothing in the way to ease his unsteady nerves. Cloud shook his head as he felt his lips cracking and heart racing, bringing himself back to the present.

So much for ‘safety’ with Sephiroth. Why was Aerith with them, as well? Hadn’t she escaped along with Tifa? Naturally, he began to worry for his friends, but he discovered that when he was surrounded by fog shrouded in the unknown, thoughts of Sephiroth importunately bludgeoned him and assaulted him in the head. He tried to shift his focus to the nature around himself; the birds chirping, the rain falling through the trees and lightly hitting the ground, the far-off sound of rushing water from the river.

Why? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about this creature? Was it only his body that missed Sephiroth’s warm touch, or was he in dire need of something more? He’d acknowledged to Sephiroth a while ago now that he was drawn to him and desired only him. He still wasn’t exactly sure what he was to Sephiroth, though, and that brought on more incredible pain than any physical torture. Yes, Sephiroth technically had done more to retrieve, comfort, and protect him than he’d known him to do for anyone else in his life. Still, did Sephiroth genuinely love him or merely feel possessive over him? Was there a difference and did it matter?

Cloud wasn’t sure, but he was fairly certain that he loved Sephiroth even if he still couldn’t decide why. Deep down, he knew that he wanted and needed Sephiroth more than anything else in his life and as a result, Cloud feared the hold and pull the taller, highly skilled ex-SOLDIER had on him; the loss of control and freedom that this love seemed to mean.

When Sephiroth continued climbing, spry and agile as ever, Cloud once again fainted and dove into a world of darkness.

His eyes somehow opened when his ears caught the sounds of Sephiroth’s boots crunching along the wet, stony walkways. They were still outside the large forest, but when Cloud inclined his neck, he espied a giant temple up ahead. They were standing a few meters away from it, now. At the top of this section there was more stone path and a giant tree with crazy branches. Out of its center at the top was one branch that seemed to have been another trunk at some point, given its girth.

Aerith murmured something in her sleep, and Sephiroth growled temperamentally as he stared down into Cloud’s expectant eyes. “The Temple of the Ancients, built by the Cetra thousands of years ago to house the Black Materia.” His hair whisked and whipped about when the wind blew by, and he inhaled sharply as he randomly announced, “Here concludes the first step of my journey.”

Feeling more ‘aware’ and alert, Cloud tried moving out of Sephiroth’s arms to gain a better view. Scouring the area, he learned that the outside of the temple was similar in architecture to the Mayan pyramid of Kukulkan. The path was all cobblestones now and instead of leading straight up, it gently curved and wound through the last bit of the mountain forest. As he crested the stairs and looked through the gate, he saw a thin line of smoke coming from a prayer candle that was lit by the alter.

Without wasting more time, Sephiroth reached the large, heavy doors. Squinting at the various puzzles and carvings etched in the door, Cloud assumed that a specific key of sorts was required to fit into the middle of the temple doors to get in. Sephiroth didn’t appear to have difficulty with opening the door, but Cloud never learned what magic he’d used to do so. Time zipped by; one minute, they were still outside in the rain, and the next, they were inside the temple, itself.

Would anyone know where they were? He gathered that the of Temple of Ancients had been built on an island, and this wasn’t an island they’d frequented. Without directions, without a strong location’s clarity, without coordinates, how was anyone to find them and help them?

In its transfigured form slowly coming to life, the Temple of the Ancients lay in the shape of a ziggurat, step pyramid. Slowly, with its entrance shifting out of view and closing at the top, the row of a long staircase in a manner similar to the pyramids of the Aztecs drifted out of Cloud’s view. Eyes adjusting to the light of the interior, he noticed within it were several passages, some of which had carved murals sticking out.

The interior was mostly made up of a large maze-like cavern of staircases and included a passage where Cloud noticed Sephiroth had to be weary to avoid falling boulders. Torches had been already lit, as though awaiting their arrival. A large clock housed in a thick, glass shrine stood before them, already operating as Sephiroth glared angrily at it.

Wordlessly, he took to walking near the device, and it suddenly came to life. Dragging Cloud and Aerith along with himself, Sephiroth moved across the clock to access the rooms its hands pointed to. Each time the old clock ticked, and the hands moved, doors opened, and the temple groaned as if coming to life.

Sephiroth’s plans were largely unknown to Cloud, but when the tall male stopped in a mural room, he gently eased the two individuals he’d been carrying off his arms and shoulders. Placements seemed more than obvious to Cloud. Aerith had been draped to lie down over an elongated bed of rock covered in moss. She was resting directly beneath a large, looming, gaping hole in the rooms above in the ceiling, and evening light glowed down upon her unconscious form, twinkling and raining down bits of water and colder moisture.

Cloud gazed around the room, and he was irate when he discovered that this was where the source of the Black Materia was stored. It showed in the paintings similar to the ones outside the temple doors depicting the summoning of Ultimate Magic; Meteor. He’d seen these before in his vague, disorienting visions he’d once incorrectly assumed to be memories. These premonitions were all slowly coming to life right before his own eyes.

As he’d recalled, the temple was covered in abundant vegetation on all sides. The grass pushed along through the tiles and cracks below, but the clearing they were in was somehow located above a cavity filled with water. Perhaps this was labeled a sinkhole or cenote. Cloud had to guess and wonder as to whether or not this specific proximity to the cenote suggested that the Ancients may have been aware of the cenote’s existence and purposefully constructed there to facilitate their religious beliefs and magical practices.

Could they possibly have summoned the same type of powerful, dangerous things Sephiroth was?

A second room was found, only meters away from the one they were currently holed up in. Cloud crawled on his stomach and found balance by rest on his knees, focusing enough to peer inside the second room.

Sephiroth grinned a viperine, warped grin as he spoke out, “That’s dubbed the ‘Chamber of Sacrifices’.”

As Cloud studied the perimeter, he thought he knew why it would be referred to as such. The room contained two parallel rows of human bones set into the back wall, as well as numerous red and brown pools of viscous liquids. Tall statues with glowing eyes glared down as they surrounded the vats, and Cloud hoped and prayed more than anything else that it wasn’t human blood stored within the deep vats.

As terrifying as that all was, Cloud wasn’t interested in the dangers that lay ahead. Right now, as he noticed dark, round objects planted firmly in the walls of the room they were currently in, he missed how Aerith slowly stirred to consciousness.

Pointing a trembling finger at the objects, Cloud whispered in terror, “Is this B-Black Materia?”

Blinking quickly once the familiar words surrounding that which was anathema hit her ears, Aerith scrambled to get up, but her soaked dress and muddied boots scraped across the rough stones, alerting Sephiroth and Cloud to her roused state.

Gasping in and out deep breaths, Aerith shivered terribly as she studied the orbs. “B-Black Materia! This was y-your plan a-all along!” Her timorous, spasmodic voice and all its lamentation blasted through Cloud’s heart and defenses like brusque shards of ice and glass so cold and deadly.

Looking at the spheres surrounding them, he saw that the Black Materia vastly differed compared to any other materia he’d known of and handled. Black Materia was dark, appearing purple, blue, or black depending on the light. The Materia was large enough to fill the holder’s palm, and as Sephiroth reached out to touch one, it drifted closely to him, hovering above his open palm.

Recoiling in fear, Aerith knelt as she held her hands up as though praying. Tears streaming from her eyes, she whined and pleaded for her life. Desperately, she choked on her words, but in his worried, confused state, Cloud wasn’t able to make any of her phrases and statements out. Panic was too high and too rampant in his system, and he knew there wasn’t much he could do without his weapons, materia, and strength. That all belonged to Sephiroth, now.

Eyes twinkling as they zeroed in on the orb, Sephiroth expounded in a gleeful tone, “The Black Materia is the strongest known Materia. Now, only I am able to utilize its power among the abundance of Lifestream energy at the Northern Cave.”

Red alarms and warning bells fired off in the back of Cloud’s mind. He’d been bashed over the head roughly, but that wasn’t enough damage to render his memories and experiences useless. Remembering what Rufus had said, the young man called out to Sephiroth boisterously, “Th-that’s—but the Northern Cave was broken into! Your barriers and forces were destroyed completely!”

Why was Sephiroth lying, again? He himself had even claimed that Rufus was weakening his defenses, and with Jenova hidden away, the Meteor was all that was left in the way of Sephiroth’s true powers.

What was the missing piece? He knew there had to be something there, but he knew very little about Black Materia and the capricious way the bond had brought all this madness about to be able to draw a true picture was heading in the way of more confusion.

Hearing his voice screaming and ringing out, Aerith whipped her head around and scowled at Cloud. Bunching up her fists into tight balls, she held them onto her lap as she screamed critically, “This is all _your_ fault! He wouldn’t have _ever_ come back as himself and found the Black Materia without your meddling!”

Eyebrows flying up to his bangs, Cloud coughed and sputtered, “I-I-you’re blaming _me_?!” How was he to read Sephiroth’s mind?!

Cutting through that, Aerith fired back curtly, “You were his bond-mate, and you knew nothing?! You let this go on?!”

Tilting his head at them while he paced back and forth around the alters and abominable sacrificial slabs, Sephiroth gazed intently at Cloud while addressing Aerith’s previous accusatory statement. “I’m afraid to disagree with you; it _wasn’t_ his fault, and there was nothing he could’ve done about it.”

Floating close to her, he stared at her blankly, which caused the younger brunette to tremble and hold her hands up to her mouth as though to suppress her cries. Observing her without his face giving his true emotions and feelings away, the shield Sephiroth had placed before himself was enough to even leave Cloud with questions and astonishment wavering in his mind.

Their eyes met, then, and Sephiroth sighed dejectedly. “I purposely chose to keep things from him because I needed him here with me...innocent as the day he was born.”

Realizing why he’d been drawn, open, and receptive to the soul bond, _why_ the bond itself had even sealed them together, Cloud wept in proclamation, “I wasn’t pursuing Sephiroth... I was being _summoned_ by Sephiroth.”

Confused, Aerith gaped and stammered at him, but seeing Sephiroth pacing carefully over to Cloud and kneeling next to him while cupping his cheek in a loving, gentle manner rendered her speechless. Sniffling and wiping her tears away, she watched them intently, which both embarrassed Cloud, but also left him feeling how serious this all was.

Sephiroth was regarding him as though he was the only person on the planet. It was a gratifying, exhilarating feeling, but it wasn’t long-lasting. Nothing in the way of ‘happiness’ was going to last…

Purring and nuzzling him, Sephiroth orated in the most pleasant of ways, but it chilled Cloud to the bone once the words settled in and took root in his brain.

“You’ll be safe with me, Cloud. I told you, this is your rightful place.” Running two fingers beneath Cloud’s chin, he dipped the youth’s head back, so they were at eye level. Smiling from ear to ear, the long-haired male continuously caressed Cloud’s cheeks and chin, his warmth trailing up and down, side to side, and all across Cloud’s flushed face.

“You must and _will_ be kept here safely, for _all_ eternity.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Quiet. Subtle quiet. It was the only thing around, and it wasn’t good. The quiet brought the first traces of dusk but compared to all the evenings and nights he’d enjoyed, there was no lovely promise of a morning to follow. He wasn’t going to be passive for long, but this was the perfect symbol of tranquility while it lasted. The soft light all around the temple flowed between himself and Aerith, as though wanting to be known and seen. The little tricks the light played were also representative of so many things, especially in this mysteriously and largely unexplored place. It was all there in the open, as if begging to be remembered and to be guarded.

Eyeing Aerith’s trembling form as she sat on her bent knees and hung her head right beneath the skylight, Cloud attempted to crawl over to her, as they were all alone together in the temple. Upon hearing him inching closer, Aerith drew herself away as though he was carrying germs or another deadly disease so contagious.

When Cloud touched her shoulder, she screeched, “Don’t touch me!”

Startled, Cloud leapt up, bit his tongue accidentally, and then gave way to his sullen nature. He knew she had every reason to despise him right now and wish to be as far away from him as she could. In her eyes, as well as all of Avalanche’s eyes, Cloud’s betrayal was unforgiveable. Two wrongs, however, never brought on a ‘right’.

“You can hate me all you want, Aerith,” he began with empathy reflecting in his voice and word selection. “I hate myself, too, because I w-was so blind. I thought that he’d—”

“Changed? Ha! That’s funny, Cloud.” Plucking a few blades of grass and throwing them across at the shrines and statues, Aerith vehemently cried, “You lied to _me_ , especially, and like it or not, you _did_ help Sephiroth bring this all upon us!”

He couldn’t see how, and he was set on defending his innocence to the end. “Aerith, I don’t understand how that’s possible. I never knew what he was using the soul bond for, so why do you think I’m lying to you?”

When she turned herself completely around to lean into him closely, Cloud was taken aback by the unadulterated rage and vitriol spanning from Aerith and right into his heart. Her eyes portrayed that she’d felt too much pain. It left him in the dilemma of having to break the tradition and oath he’d sworn to protect and take in order to do what was right.

Stand by Sephiroth, or by his friends? Why was he the one to decide, and why now?

He’d never been in such a position before. In twenty-one years of life, he’d carried out his duties to the best of his abilities. He’d never looked the other way when a crime was being committed or taken a bribe from a lawbreaker as some of his fellow infantrymen had. Cloud was true to others, and to himself, but so was Aerith. Her heart was far more radiant and purer than his own was, which only gave credence to how it bled for her.

She’d lost too much. She’d had the love of her life taken away from her, and only cold reminders and false hopes to deal with in the aftermath. There was no justice. No court was there to decide what was right and wrong. As always, there’d be no court or trial for Sephiroth’s illaudable actions. The man had been condemned by his nature, and that was simply wrong. Cloud held both sides of the story, but there wasn’t any time to convince Aerith. At the end of the day, she would never change her stance, and neither would Sephiroth.

Something had to eventually break…

But did the fact that he found the practice morally reprehensible really entitle him to take the law into his own hands? That was wrong, too. Only, hadn’t he already all but agreed to break the law to destroy Sephiroth’s bond to protect his future? To seal their fates? There were no degrees of grey, here. If he helped Sephiroth at all, even so much as to protect his name, he would be breaking the law of life itself, or at the very least, obstructing it.

Mouth and throat drier than a desert, Cloud cleared his throat as he panted, “I used to think that all life was sacred, but now, I’m not so sure.” With a disgruntled cry, he began to cachinnate like an insane person. It drew Aerith’s attention more than she noticed herself even giving, but she set aside her personal vendettas and spite as she stared sadly at Cloud.

Covering his eyes lest he break down into tears, Cloud was only successful in holding himself back for a few seconds. The somber waterfall of his own cries burst rapidly, and his shoulders and chest heaved up and down potently in time with his lost wails. He hadn’t sobbed like this since he found his hometown burnt and his parents gone.

Blinking at his lap emptily, he gasped brokenly, “To th-think that I-I-I did this, that I h-had something to do with this…I’m s-sorry…I d-didn’t know about Zack, about e-everything!”

Torn between wanting to comfort Cloud and wanting to bolt, Aerith wrung her hands together before she somberly stated, “Cloud, you were more vulnerable to him because—”

Sniffling, he interrupted quickly, “Yeah, th-the bond. I know.”

Shaking her head in disagreement, Aerith waited for his cries to stifle for a moment. When he wasn’t interrupting her and instead remained focused in his wild curiosity, she spoke again.

Calmly explaining through wide eyes filled to the brim with concern, she expounded carefully and rationally, “Cloud, the reason why you were able to see him all this time, even before you connected with him was because you already had his cells inside you.”

This was overtly oblique in every way. Wanting to cave in to rebuking and admonishing her claim, Cloud prevented himself from hurting his friend as he paused and counted back from ‘five’ mentally.

Inhaling deeply, he held his breath before he exhaled softly, “Th-that’s not possible. I know I have Jenova cells because of my Geostigma, but that’s all it is.” Touching his arm as though to show it to Aerith, he pushed the limb before her, but she looked away from it.

“Cloud.” Her stern voice broke through to him, almost gripping him by the neck as he leaned up and watched her without blinking.

Solemnly, Aerith pressed on, though ever mindful of his emotions and temperament as she chose her words cautiously. “The Nibelheim incident is where it all began. I was searching through some notes and documents when you spaced out before, and Professor Hojo experimented on you and—” Whimpering as she caught herself midsentence, Aerith’s face screwed up into displeasure and agony. She held that expression for a while before she swallowed down her vile fear and regained composure.

Now that she was ‘ready’, she braced herself as he concluded, “That man experimented on you and Zack, and he injected you with Sephiroth’s cells. That’s why you were able to see him and talk to him, and that’s why he stuck to you.”

Someone may as well have impaled him on a large harpoon. There was a gaping hole in his chest, possibly where his heart once had been. It stung, it was both hot and cold, and it hurt to breathe. Though he could offer up no more tears, he nearly heaved before he cradled his left arm. It hurt more than any other part of his body…

Heart racing and pounding against his rib cage as though to get away, the young warrior scowled, adamant and vehement in his denial. The stuffy air became still and deafeningly quiet all around them. It plagued them both, spreading like pools of black ink.

Before he left himself open to the emotional possibility of flying off the handle at something innocuous, he softly wheezed, “D-do you th-think that’s…m-maybe th-that’s why Sephiroth ch-chose me?” He was loathed and captious to even consider that, but now that his friends’ lives and the future of the planet was at stake, Cloud had been ‘roused’ from his temporary ‘dreamland’.

Aerith gazed around the cave, perhaps looking for a way out. She began walking beyond the alters, touching the walls when shadows became too thick and too heavy for the eyes to navigate. As she moved forth, Cloud followed her, unsure of where she was going. His mind was scattered in at least a hundred different places, and majority of them were agonizing and brutal. He couldn’t stomach the thought of Sephiroth knowing all along what he’d been ‘good’ for, and only seeking him out because of that singular purpose.

A soft bubbling sound hit their ears, and as it did, Aerith straightened her form. Hushing Cloud when he nudged her and tried to orchestrate some conversation, she waved him forward as she gasped, “I can hear it! Come on!”

He didn’t know specifically what she meant by ‘it’, but he was curious. Aerith was clearly onto something as she flitted about. Her facial expressions didn’t bewray too much, but as her doe-like eyes darted around, she finally let out a soft cry while intently focusing on something a few feet before herself.

Raising her right hand, she pointed out quickly, “There! We have to squeeze through there, come on!” Just like that, after trumpeting this out, Aerith flew off.

Two large boulders caving down to meet midway provided a small opening. Staring at it, Cloud felt nauseous. A steady stream of light pooled through, but as slender as Aerith’s frame was, Cloud didn’t think she’d be able to make it.

Bravery provided enough strength, however. Aerith truly shocked Cloud as she bolted, turning and twisting herself as she squeezed right through. Cloud’s jaw fell open in sheer awe, but before he could start questioning it, Aerith was already practically out of sight.

“W-wait for me!”

Hundreds of thousands of years of decay and weathering left only lines and dust in their wake. Wondering if the boulders would fall on his head and squash him like a damn bug, Cloud shut his eyes tightly and channeled his thoughts into more positive ones. Counting to ‘three’, he took small steps, hearing and feeling dust and debris shifting as tiny rocks slid down around himself. Pressing onward, he held his breath, sucking in his stomach as much as he could while he shifted through the narrow passageway.

“Got you!” Aerith latched onto his hand at the very last minute, yanking him out onto the other side.

Coughing as he internally rejoiced in freedom, Cloud thanked her by bowing his head politely. Aerith walked on, approaching the ledge of a mossy, dewy cliff. Beyond it lay a long, wooden beam, and to cross over to it would land them to the other side of the temple. Cloud had no idea where they were going or when Sephiroth would even return. He trusted Aerith enough as she led the way, balancing herself properly on the beam as her arms stretched out while she marched on.

Cloud followed her lead, but he curiously peaked down as he pressed on. It was a long, long way down from what he could see. Pools of crystal-clear water bubbled and boiled over with a sizzling splash, almost akin to lava before filtering into the cracks on the ground.

Pausing as he caught the color of the water, Cloud rasped, “Is-is that mako?!”

Aerith was already across, and she held out her arm for Cloud to take. “Yes, it is. It runs all throughout the temple and downhill from the exit…well, one of them, anyway.”

“Is that where we’re going?”

Aerith chose not to answer, and that disturbed Cloud. He was already innervated and peeved plenty due to Sephiroth’s behavior, and now, on top of it all, he had to deal with Aerith’s reluctance and stony resolve. 

Perfect.

“Cool, guess you don’t want to talk, I get it.” Feigning a lack of interest as they wound through dips and holes in the muddy earth, Cloud easily felt his anger dissipating once he thought of Sephiroth again.

Pressing a hand gingerly over the arm carrying the Geostigma, he whispered ruefully, “All this time, I can’t believe I was so close to him…” Referring to the horrific experiments as well as the Sephiroth clones, Cloud gaped and sputtered emptily, “Maybe I was only meant for this.”

Though Aerith wasn’t too quick to comfort him, she paused as she wondered aloud, “When did he ask for it, anyway?”

Puzzled by her inquiry, Cloud asked, “Sorry? What?”

Mildly impatient as she ducked beneath more beams and rocks, crouching low in the near dark, Aerith asked, “He didn’t say anything about the Black Materia?” Frowning, she muttered in addition more to herself and her own musings than to Cloud, “Maybe you weren’t able to sense it, but he was doing everything in his power to make you bring Black Materia to him; that’s part of the reason why we’re even here.”

That didn’t make sense. All his time spent with Sephiroth had felt real, genuine, and _pure._ Perhaps he was blinded by his feelings, but Cloud wasn’t doubtful of his memories. Sephiroth hadn’t said a word to him about any of this. 

Sticking to his word, he gently hissed out to Aerith, “No, he never told me about any of this. All the time we spent together, he never hurt me, he never tried stealing anything from me, and he’s saved my life on more than one occasion.”

Snorting churlishly at the idea, Aerith began snidely, “Then why did he summon—” At once, mid-sentence, as though catching herself, she froze and pressed both hands to her mouth. Gazing at the low ceiling, she mumbled something incoherent, but the way in which she’d uttered it was what’d caused great concern to stir and rise about within Cloud.

Pressing both hands over her back, he’d wanted to inquire what was going on, but Aerith was already crawling on her hands and knees, stumbling and scrambling to get up. Long braid swishing wildly about, she let out a sharp cry as she ran ahead, boldly leaping and jumping from rocky platform to lower ones.

As bizarre as her behavior was, Cloud didn’t want her to get hurt. They had very little in the way of natural light in the lower levels of the temple, and all it would take was one accidental slip…

Shaking that terrifying thought as far away from his mind as he could, he followed her, his only intent to catch up to her before something drastic occurred.


	40. Child By The Stream

Aerith had nearly reached the bottom of the rocky and slippery platforms in no time. She was in quite the rush, and for good reason. She kept wailing tremulously as she ran about, but Cloud wasn’t able to properly make heads or tails of what she was screaming. Outside the temple, explosions, gunfire, and the age-old, familiar clanging of swords rang out. The wind whistled and howled through the cracks in the rocks and walls, which meant that they weren’t too far away from the exits.

They could still get out of here!

Aerith was terribly distracted to do that, however. She had her mind set intently on something, and Cloud wasn’t going to leave her to her own devices. He’d already abandoned his friends once before, and he would rather die than repeat the same illaudable actions. He only hoped he could break through to her, but it seemed foolish to put his hopes on that.

Together, as they ran, Cloud shrieked on edge, “Aerith! Please! I think everyone else will be here, soon! We can get outta this!”

“No! I’m not leaving until this is fixed, and by the gods and Ancients, I _will_ fix it!” She leapt up deftly, latching onto a large mass of gleaming and shining crystals above. They twinkled and dazzled at them, nearly blinding them, but Aerith managed to pull one right out of the wall as she landed on her feet. Holding the item in her open palms, she gasped in awe as she then raised the gleaming object.

Cloud knew that it was materia, but this was definitely materia he wasn’t used to handling. It held traces of pure mako within it, but when Aerith held onto the materia, it dissolved rapidly in her hands.

“Damn!” Pouting for a moment, she tore down the path, clutching at new materia which largely resembled the one that had evaporated in her hand. Repeatedly, she would clutch at materia, retrieving it from odd places while noises of war and calamity emanated from beyond the temple. Time was running short, and Cloud couldn’t fathom why Aerith was spending time gathering materia that magically turned to dust the moment she held onto it.

Not wanting to push her too much, when she bent to snatch more of the mysterious materia off the ground, he hissed urgently, “Aerith, this isn’t the time for this! We have to—”

“There’s only one of each! Black and white!” Speaking broken, chopped sentences, she panted and rasped desperately while pawing through the mud. “We have to find the White Materia, Cloud!”

“White Materia?!” This mentation truly stumped him. Why, of all times, were they going materia hunting? He still didn’t know enough about Black Materia, or why Sephiroth wanted it, but if he was to be truthful with himself, he trusted Aerith more than he did Sephiroth right now.

Cutting to the chase effectively, Aerith curbed all of Cloud’s doubts as she announced breathlessly, “White Materia will help! It’s one of the only ways we can stop the meteor, Cloud!” Again, she was off without checking whether he could keep up. Leaping and flying through the levels of the temple, her shadow bounced off the torches and faint lights, and Cloud struggled to follow her while trying to make sure he also didn’t fall.

Rickety stones and steps reminded him that they were wandering into the underground of the temple, and majority of it was mostly comprised of large walkways and levels built high above the streams of water and mako.

Agitated as he was, Cloud didn’t wish to go along trifling and playing with powers and magic beyond his own comprehension. Already, he felt he’d tampered with things he had no business playing around in, and he was frightened of the lingering effects. Aerith being an Ancient was more in tune with these things, and Cloud put all his trust in her.

Still, as confident as he was in her powers and capabilities, he longed to understand the true nature of the work Aerith was seeking to accomplish, here. He had many questions for her, but the one dancing along the tip of his tongue was of utmost importance.

Who knew how much more time they had? Sephiroth was bound to return at some point and judging by the howling wind and beastly man-made noises surrounding the temple, at least two dozen armed men had to be here by now.

Shinra’s men?

Duly hoping that wasn’t the case, Cloud fought to keep up. Alert and on the lookout for signs of imminent danger, he again turned to his question as he blurted out weakly, “Alright. This Black Materia versus White Materia. I wanna know what it’s all about, Aerith.”

Relenting, she navigated her way between the broken steps as she clung to the walls and muddy, grassy rocks, her eyes swimming with the piercing alertness for detail that would otherwise go missed. Checking everywhere thoroughly, she chewed her lower lip, as though debating with herself for a moment. Her inner dialogue was highly evident and displayed on her lovely, feminine features,

“Long ago, the Cetra were given two gifts from the Planet: the Black Materia, which had the power to destroy, and the White Materia, which had the power to protect. Being peaceful creatures, my people embraced the power of the White Materia and rejected the Black, sealing it away by transforming it into a complex, dark, dangerous labyrinthine temple that became known as the Temple of the Ancients.”

“Right where we are, huh?”

Standing at the edge of a large cropping, Aerith peered down into the water and strange liquids running below. Nodding carefully as though conversing with herself and making a decision, her soft voice then reverberated back to Cloud. “I’m fighting for the planet, Cloud, and if Sephiroth doesn’t have the Black Materia, yet, we still have a chance.”

There was a lot she was prepared to do, and Cloud sensed it. He could tell just by the way she was inhaling a large enough amount of oxygen, as though preparing herself to carry out something courageous…or maybe something foolish. Cloud hoped sincerely it was a case of the former, but the latter was also highly probable in this scenario.

Frozen while he tried not to focus on how long of a drop it was when a few small rocks fell all the way to the flowing waters below, Cloud wondered erratically, “This White Materia, will it really make the meteor go away?” Aware of how ignorant and ridiculous that seemed, he only hoped Aerith wouldn’t be overly brash and more discreet with mocking him, if she wanted to do so.

That didn’t appear to be something Aerith was considering. She only peered around, careful of her footing, readied herself, took a breath, and made the last jump. She didn’t let the breath she’d been holding out until she had walked to the center of the platform directly beneath the one she’d been standing on with Cloud, well away from the edges. When she landed on the solid mass of earth, she knelt and breathed out in relief.

Placing a hand over her heart to steady it, she turned and gaped up at Cloud. “Come on, it’s safe.”

He put out his hands and closed his eyes. When ready, he leapt down in the same way she had, and as he approached her, he found that she was now kneeling before the edge of the platform around a small bed of flowers. A large and oddly shaped rock stood out among the rows of herbs and bushes, but the off-white color of the object paired with the carvings engraved within it seemed to highly suggest that it wasn’t a part of the natural arrangement within the temple to begin with.

When he had paused to examine the stone with his eyes and fingertips, he learned that it depicted what appeared to be the cosmos on one end, and then on the opposite, Cloud saw people bowing in obeisance as beams and rays of light descended from the sky onto themselves.

Aerith pointed at the stone, and then at the mound of dirt surrounding it. “The Ancients tell their story in many ways, but the ending of such a story is always up to us.”

Raising an inquisitive brow, Cloud repeated, “Up to us?”

Nodding while she smiled for the first time in days at him, Aerith cried, “Yes! This has been written in my blood since my birth, Cloud.”

Her fond smile touched all areas of Cloud’s soul and heart, melting him away with her kindness and gentleness, but also renewing his hopes that they had a chance to save their world. This was in their control, after all!

With a few dainty fingers, Aerith trailed the stone, touching its carvings and inscriptions while sighing softly. “It’s in my hands, now, and the best way to stop Sephiroth’s plans are to use the White Materia and summon something far greater than he can ever imagine.”

Her words took flight as soon as she’d spoken them. Above, though Cloud hadn’t noticed it initially, from the gaping skylight danced a small group of twinkling, diamond-like particles. They floated down, not quite reaching the two young humans, but dazzled even brighter as they hovered a few inches above Aerith’s head. Like scintillating stars, they revealed their awe and brightness, perhaps drawn to Aerith, especially.

Still caressing the stone, Aerith hummed, and as she did, Cloud carefully examined the mound of earth rising just slightly at the bottom of the little boulder. This had to have been purposefully arranged. Though the deed had been done well over a couple of decades ago, judging by the way the soil had been dragged and shifted with faint marks leftover, Cloud deduced logically that this was the work of humans.

Were they concealing something to protect? Or concealing it to forever withhold all the secrets until someone superior and worthy came along to use it to their will? 

With divine grace and warmth, as the rays of light turned brighter and more potent, Aerith and Cloud peeked down at the large, round bulge hidden away beneath the dirt. It was round enough to portray a sphere hiding there, and he immediately was drawn to it. Before the astonished young man could push away the dirt and dig, however, Aerith gently lay her hands over his.

Warmth seeped into the back of his hands and knuckles, slowly bringing life to his body. He hadn’t realized how cold he was until Aerith brought warmth to his knuckles. They were both shivering, and as their eyes met tentatively, Aerith offered him another timorous smile.

Swallowing nervously, Cloud allowed her to help him with digging through the mound of thick dirt. It felt cold and refreshing against his heated fingers, and he unconsciously squeezed it and held on. The soil grew moist with his sweat, and he pushed it aside in small bundles after flattening it between his fingers, almost like a child playing around curiously in a sandbox.

Arranging the earthy mounds to the right and then the left in tiny mountains, he watched as Aerith did the same. There was something quite infantile and innocent about playing in the dirt this way that brought back all his childhood memories. Though they weren’t ‘playing’, Cloud still chuckled when Aerith brushed aside the dirt, using her pink fingernails to rake through the thicker portions. Cloud imitated her enthusiastically, and as they dug away, they both let out a soft gasp of surprise when something rough and thick hit their fingers. Grasping and clutching at it, together, they fished it out of the bottom of the tiny grave and brandished it before their wide eyes.

It sparkled like the largest, brightest diamond Cloud had ever seen. Unable to tear his eyes off it and incapable of blinking, he only gasped in awe, “Is this—”

“White Materia,” Aerith finished for him, holding it up even higher as she beamed at it proudly. Relieved sighs flew out of her as she gracefully cradled it to her chest, bringing up the hem of her skirt with her free hand and using it to wipe the mud and earth from the materia.

She worked hard to cleanse it, but she nodded while speaking steadily, “The White Materia will help me. I’m going to do this, Cloud; I have to see it to the end.” She reached up and back, arms flying over her head as she placed the sphere in the tight knot of her ribbon. Once it settled there perfectly, she touched the materia she wore in her hair, grinning proudly.

Cloud didn’t know why she’d placed it there, but before he could ask, Aerith was already spinning around, a noise having startled her. The ground was shaking as though an earthquake had happened. Tiny rocks crumbled and fell around them, and as explosions went off like giant firecrackers, Aerith screamed as she tried to stand on her feet. The sky outside turned dark, and they were without light. Stumbling against each other clumsily, they nearly slipped and slid down the slope.

Worried for their lives, Aerith urgently cried on a high-pitched note, “They’re bringing this place down! The rocks will cave us in if we don’t move!”

Together, they tried shielding themselves with their hands, but an umbrella would’ve even had no better a chance. Sharp rocks and jagged edges of the stone walls cut them, and Cloud wrapped his form around Aerith’s protectively as he tried guiding her down the long path. With every blast emanating from outside, more rocks, siccaneous dust, mud, and broken pieces of wood caved down around them.

It created quite a perilous obstacle course, but Cloud helped Aerith hop and skip over them quickly. Weaving around the mess and chaos, the two Avalanche members relied on instinct rather than vision to propel themselves forth. They were nearly away from the shambolic onslaught of wreckage, when the bottom of Aerith’s dress caught onto a protruding branch.

The hole in the cloth snagged onto the sharp object, causing the young woman to trip and crash onto her side. Cloud nearly went sailing after her, but he landed with his hands on the wall before himself at the last minute. His knees felt as though they were thin, wet noodles as opposed to muscle and bone. Limply, he almost fell over Aerith, but she was already trying to weave her way over a large log jutting out from the soil.

“Cloud! We have to keep moving!”

Warily, he tried making the perilous journey behind her, one step at a time, mindful not to lose his footing again. His boots were weighed down by mud and water, and his uniform was caked in mud almost everywhere. Together, Cloud and Aerith struggled through the temple, aware of the deadly blasts growing louder and more potent. A way out was lingering somewhere near, and until they found it, Cloud was willing to seek for one regardless of the risks to his own life.

The abject smell of smoke and fire was too much to ignore. It wasn’t coming from within the temple, thankfully, but seeing as the vast majority of the decorations and foundation of the temple had been built by wooden pillars and support, fire would eat through it all at once, and the higher levels would eventually come crashing down piece by piece.

Trying not to lose himself to panic and fear, Cloud moved Aerith out of the way of a crumbling rock before it had a chance to hurt her. Shrieking as she leapt away, Aerith held onto the materia in her hair, protecting it with dedication she hadn’t even shown for her own wellbeing. It irritated Cloud that she would go through so much and sacrifice so much for the White Materia, but they weren’t in a place or position to quarrel about that, now. Freedom and safety became exorbitant risks rather than blessings.

When they leapt down again for the tenth time, their feet found purchase on a thin ledge. Due to the heavy shrouds of darkness all around, they weren’t aware of the disintegrating and decomposing rotten platform beneath the earth. Like a landslide, it finally gave way, and together, Aerith and Cloud rolled and fell into the pull of gravity. Screaming dissonantly as they both went tumbling and sailing, Cloud held onto Aerith’s hand, closed his eyes, and braced himself for a harsh landing.

After a few minutes of flying through the air, the two friends landed on soft grass and a large bed of flowers. It reminded Cloud too greatly of when he’d fallen through the roof of the Sector 5 Church and landed on Aerith’s lovely flowers. Forlornly, he succumbed to his melancholy and nostalgia, wishing and hoping that this were all a bad dream.

Would he stir, open his eyes, and find himself back in his home with his friends? Would he ever be happy and know what love was? Would there ever be peace in the land?

Gaping up at the ceiling comprised of gold hidden away among rafters and dirt, he squinted past the stalactites as he thought he was seeing things, for sure. His mind often played tricks on himself, but as his foggy, bleary vision faded in and out due to his violent fall, he saw stars, first. An arrangement of the tiny beams swam around in a perfect circle, and Cloud felt drawn to them. He tried to tell the voice howling inside himself that the darkened temple didn’t mean anything ominous, but that familiar, sick sense of dread was gripping him with renewed force and chaotic destruction lingering in its wake.

He’d felt this a few times before, and he’d remembered what it felt like to die a little each day. Sephiroth had given him such sensations with his betrayal and disorderly lust that knew no bounds…

Knowing that those kinds of thoughts were going to lead him to madness, he pulled back from the past and tried to concentrate on the present, without filtering it through the shadows of his numerous losses.

Stirring next to Aerith, he reached for her hand and touched her wrist. He felt her pulse, and he let out a soft sigh of relief. As Cloud tried to rouse her, heavy footsteps thudded a few feet away. Glancing up as his neck strained and stretched, burning with even more pain he didn’t need now, he saw blue and orange colored torches hanging on the walls, burning brightly for them. A few tombstones and coffins lay about, and plenty of gold and other fancy jewels were stacked in all corners of the room.

Not interested in the materialistic lure of the treasures, Cloud inched over to Aerith, drawing her closer to himself. If need be, he would fight whomever was approaching with his fists. His concealed weapon had fallen somewhere a long time ago due to the explosions and landslide, and he was in no mood to go looking for it. All he could do was focus on the use of his eyes and ears as the footsteps drew closer and closer.

As Cloud glared madly forth, he saw a tall, slender figure with long, dark brown hair. The man was dressed in a fancy, freshly ironed suit, not a speck of dirt or debris to be found anywhere on his person. Dark brown eyes narrowed as the figure approached, waiting in the lights, and Cloud let out a sharp hiss of despair.

“What do you want?” He recognized this man; Tseng, leader of the Turks.

Standing with his hands firmly clasped behind his back, the Turk seemed troubled as he searched the perimeter of the room quietly. When he moved, Cloud heard something faintly rustling. After a few moments, Tseng held out his hands, revealing what he’d been hiding away the entire time.

As Cloud gaped, several materia took shape in his hands, including frigidly Black Materia, the same kind Sephiroth had toyed with, before.

Tseng crouched and delicately piled the spherical stones in a neat pyramid. This didn’t mean anything to Cloud, but Tseng admired his handiwork. Then, he straightened his posture, gracefully flicking his long, straight brown hair back from his face with practiced motions of his head and shoulders.

Cloud felt his tongue and mouth turning dry. Though he had no saliva left, he coughed out huskily, “You…what are you doing?”

His gaze was, naturally, transfixed by Tseng’s movements. The Turk eyed Cloud cautiously, as though fearful of an attack, but Cloud was far too exhausted to do such a thing. Tseng set the rest of the Black Materia down, treating it as though it were some kind of deadly explosive.

When Tseng stared at Aerith, Cloud recalled that she’d been taken away because of this man. Holding onto his friend tightly, he shook his head as he snarled, “Touch her, and I’ll make sure you regret it.”

The highest-ranking Turk member only gave out a weak smile that didn’t portray happiness in the slightest. Fingers shaking, Tseng sighed soothingly, “I’m not here for her; I just need to make sure Sephiroth doesn’t get a hold of this.” Eyes pointing and guiding the way, he stared almost intimately at the Black Materia. Handling it with care and precision, Tseng tried guiding the Materia into a bag he’d fished out of one of his pockets.

Tar-like substances oozed from it, and a foul stench hung in the air. Tseng wrinkled his nose, holding up a hand when he was unable to push away the horrible odor. “This needs to be removed from this place, at once.” Standing tall once he’d collected what he needed from the pile, Tseng nodded at Cloud as he orated gently, “I must find the President.”

Gaping at him as he turned away, Cloud cried out while holding onto Aerith, “You’re just going to leave us here to die?!” Gesturing at his injured friend, he added vehemently, “She’s badly hurt! Don’t you care at all?!”

Debating it, Tseng seemed to be entertaining both sides. An internal monologue no doubt had been prepared behind his dark eyes as they flashed problematically. Stuck in the odious situation, he stepped over to Cloud and Aerith, checking the unconscious woman before moving back again, as though he’d been bitten by a rabid animal.

Panicking, his arms and fingers twitched as he grunted, “I’ll…b-bring back help…the President’s on his way, he’ll—”

Cloud didn’t even remember blinking, but one second was all it’d taken. In one simple second he’d often taken for granted so foolishly, Sephiroth had changed everything. Moving beyond the speed of light, the silver-haired warrior suddenly appeared out of thin air. Like a ghastly magical trick, Sephiroth dashed from the shadows before Tseng. The long-haired Turk leader froze, and as his right hand reached for his sheathed weapon, his fate had been sealed.

Sephiroth leaned over Tseng, and a cold, superbious ‘shlink’ sound rang in the air. Cloud had been in combat long enough to fully recognize that sound. It was one he feared and ran away from in the darkest parts of his mind while he’d always forced himself to brave on through no matter what. The sound of a blade sinking deeply into warm flesh was unmistakable.

Tseng’s arm jolted away from his sword, and he reached out and clutched Sephiroth’s forearm. Coughing and sputtering as he blinked rapidly, the noises he made as he groaned and coughed in pain were enough to rouse Aerith. She frowned as her eyelids slowly opened, and as she tilted her head up at them, all the blood and color immediately drained from her face.

Aerith’s breath hitched in her throat, and as she gaped at the two men, she threw her head back and let out a bloodcurdling scream. It caused every fiber of Cloud’s being to turn chilly, and his own blood froze in his veins. Sephiroth was standing close to Tseng, but somehow, even though he wasn’t directly making eye contact with Cloud, the golden-haired ex-SOLDIER knew his bond-mate was scowling at him.

Sephiroth’s lips moved close to Tseng’s ear, but due to Aerith’s shrill screams, Cloud never made out what it was Sephiroth whispered to his injured foe. Beyond horrified, himself, he only narrowly focused on the tip of the Masamune sliding into Tseng’s suit, and Sephiroth’s feral grin as he practically hugged the Turk toward himself.

Aerith was already turning around to flee, frightened for her life. In her eyes, Sephiroth could’ve easily done the same to her, and she had no weapons to defend herself. She disappeared, screaming her head off while she lost herself to the elements of darkness and fog brewing up from the warm puddles and stream flowing a few feet beneath. The poor young woman didn’t get very far, however; she’d accidentally stepped through the thinner portions of the floor, and it all caved in. As she crawled away through the mud and soil, she pressed herself into a corner that wasn’t illuminated by the reach of the light.

Tseng’s body dropped with a heavy ‘thud’, sounding much like a gavel pounding away on a block of wood. As Cloud followed the sound of flesh slamming down onto the cold ground, his ears burned and tingled in a foul manner. The tips burned greatly, and the persistent heat pooled and channeled all over his body like a disease. It ate away at his conscience before the heavy guilt could, and he still hadn’t screamed.

His voice was lost. It was gone, much like his courage. All he could do as opposed to helping Tseng was to stand there frozen like a useless statue and gape.

Tseng lay on his side, gently resting a hand over his wound as Sephiroth tenderly maneuvered the wounded Turk so his head was draped over a small rock. Nodding at the injured male, Sephiroth then turned and glared at Cloud.

Hands shaking, Cloud looked at his unsteady limbs as he sputtered, “Th-this is…all…m-my—”

“Your fault?” Sephiroth finished for him stridently. Bitterness became the silver-haired ex-SOLDIER as he added, “Your heroics seem to have no end, Cloud. I ask you, to what extent must they continue? Hmm?” Stepping closer to his bond-mate and glaring ferociously into his grief-stricken eyes, Sephiroth snarled, “How far do you need to take this?”

He never was able to shout out from the top of his lungs: ‘as far as it needs to be taken’. Strange, Sephiroth was always capable of rendering him speechless, and there wasn’t anything Cloud could do about it. Once again, he was reminded of his infinite powerlessness, and he attested and conceded to Sephiroth’s dominance and heightened control.

His capriciously desperate humanity beckoned and called forth his sympathies, however, and it became impossible to deny when Tseng groaned in pain as he held onto his wound in the lateral, lower quadrants of his abdomen.

Nervously lost in wayment, Cloud begged, “Please, let me get h-help for him, and let me find a way to get Aerith out of here.” If he ever had a dying wish, it was to make amends. Maybe he could never set things right and turn back time to pay for his erroneous ways and malformed choices, but he could at least seek penance this way.

A defeated look befell Sephiroth as he soothingly pressed out, “He who saves a single soul, saves the universe.”

Once again, Cloud was utterly torn apart. He doubted he would ever forgive Sephiroth for all this, but at the same time, his heart sang a different tune. When he gazed longingly at the silver haired One Winged Angel, he knew he’d never seen a more completely, perfectly beautiful man in all of his life. Even now, he didn’t move; he barely breathed as his senior stepped onto the graduated pillars, ascending almost effortlessly. Eagerly trying to follow him like a moth drawn to the seductive brightness of a luminous flame, Cloud tore after him.

However, he misjudged the distance between the top pillar and the edge of the platform and lost his balance. With a sharp cry, he saw himself falling. Sephiroth lunged forward without thinking and grabbed his hand, pulling him to more stable footing. In the process, their bodies slammed together, and Sephiroth drew his right hand about Cloud’s back, holding onto him for dear life. Cloud’s nose pressed against his bond-mate’s neck, and without even forcing himself to do so, he inhaled the clean scent he always would find when he’d held Sephiroth.

Instinctively, Sephiroth’s hand tightened around his waist, and the opposite one sought out Cloud’s hand. Their fingers intertwined at once, looping almost perfectly. Cloud moved back just enough so he could meet Sephiroth’s eyes. Instead of sadistic pleasure and malice, now, he found utter pain, remorse, and something beyond misery there.

 _‘Careful now…that which lies ahead, does not yet exist…’_ The words had never made sense to Cloud back then, but they rooted in his brain like a malodorous, sickly weed eating away at himself, slowly.

What did they have, now? What were they left with?

Holding onto each other at the end of the world…

Cloud relished in the pleasant, warm feeling of Sephiroth’s gloved hand in his own. Now that he had no weapon hanging on his back and shoulders, he felt lighter than a feather as he peered with hope into Sephiroth’s green irises.

In an instant, all the negatory feelings and appearances had been completely wiped away, and Sephiroth resembled only a broken, withered man. Then, Cloud stared at his semi nude chest. A heart was beating there beneath flesh and bone…this was a man. His azure eyes gaped at Sephiroth’s left hand as though he held a dangerous but quiescent serpent…one that could, nevertheless, turn and strike anyone dead.

Pitifully, Cloud wept, “You don’t want the Black Materia…why can’t you stop this?” Would begging and pleading even lead anywhere? He hoped he wasn’t wasting his time by relying on Sephiroth’s ‘better nature’, if traces of it even lingered here.

His soul was laid bare behind his eyes, and for once, Sephiroth wasn’t putting forth an effort to conceal that from Cloud.

Blinking quickly, though only once, he admitted sullenly, “I can stop Meteor at any time, but only if there is no interference. From you or from...her…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the name.

Cloud assumed Sephiroth had been referring to Aerith. Bewildered, he panted fervidly, “B-but she’s not—”

His older bond-mate gemented, “Then why...?”

Sephiroth’s odd question shook the blonde youth. Very little in the way of clues had been left for him to piece it together, and without Sephiroth at his side in the way he wanted and needed for himself to be edified, Cloud felt useless and lost.

Both hands flying up to clutch at Sephiroth’s chest, Cloud timorously shifted before pressing his palms over the warm flesh. Heat seeping between his form and the silent One Winged Angel’s, he gently pleaded, “Sephiroth, we can do something, together! It’s not too late!”

Baffled in his own right, Sephiroth ground out resentfully, “I learned a lot after you killed me. I used to think that if I accrued all the knowledge the Lifestream had to offer, it would suffice for my own enlightenment.” A mere shell of his proud, esteemed, dignified, arrogant self, the sullen warrior lurked in the shadows of his past as he regaled his visions and plans pitifully.

“I was wrong. With Meteor crashing into the planet, the results would involve one dimension absorbing the Lifestream’s energy as it will rush to heal our planet.” Shrugging disgracefully, almost, his shoulders crept up as he whispered somberly, “I wanted to be the only one ascending to godhood. I did…”

Disappointed and ruthful in every way, Cloud nearly beat a fist against Sephiroth’s chest. “You _wanted_ that? Or do you _still_ want it?”

There was far too much mystery and secrecy in the way Sephiroth was communicating. Cloud may have had a lot left to learn, but he’d already picked up on major hints and clues that something was horribly off about Sephiroth…almost as though he was afraid to tell Cloud the entire version of events.

Sephiroth only resorted to staring at him in misery, and it was enough to shatter Cloud’s heart and his resolve.

Head lowering, he whined like a broken child, “Sephiroth, please, we can do something right now while we have time!”

That wasn’t well received by the taller male, and he fixed his young bond-mate with an icy sneer. “Why would I do _anything_ at this point?” He turned to look beseechingly around the chamber, his voice ringing from the pillars and walls. The question hung in the air like a despicable odor, but Sephiroth pushed through it persistently.

“Why should I summon the planet-breaker when I could surely destroy this miniscule world with my own power?” Huffing out as though exhausted, Sephiroth held a hand up and gently grazed Cloud’s cheek from the top of the cheekbone to the jawline.

Fingers curling and weaving through a lock of hair hanging over his ear, Sephiroth then tucked the tendril behind Cloud’s ear with so much gentleness and serenity that it nearly caused Cloud to buckle down in tears.

Sephiroth turned back to looking deeply into his bond-mate’s eyes, his gaze intense. “I see your anguish, and I feel your pains; I always have. To give the planet the same rush as any mortal must feel when they stare death in the eye and escape it perhaps gave me a sense of rush and a purpose, but I’m not so sure, anymore.”

Utterly puzzled, Cloud quizzically droned in one breath, “Sephiroth? What do you mean?”

Abandoning his riddles and cryptic conversation, Sephiroth admitted brokenly, “This…this will blend one source of energy with the other; this will set free and release an entity that would’ve brought on so much change.”

Cloud narrowed his eyes at his partner, not quite comprehending it all just yet, but merely guessing based on the inkling of ways Sephiroth tossed at him now and then.

“Like adrenaline...”

Adrenaline was what coursed through their veins, now. It gave the human body a motivating factor to keep going, to survive, to fight, to persevere…much was likely the same for the planet, and Sephiroth’s plans for the future. Fueled by adrenaline and emotions; not logic.

Nodding, Sephiroth expounded, “Yes. And with the surge of the Greater Lifestream freely flowing, I will destroy the meteor, crush it into motes of dust and sweep it back out into space.”

The Greater Lifestream? Was Sephiroth confused? As far as Cloud understood, there was only the Lifestream…hadn’t that been the very thing Sephiroth was always yearning for?

Unable to differentiate truth from lie anymore because of the games and deceit he’d been force-fed for so long, Cloud petulantly heaved out, “That’s…more b-bullshit, Sephiroth. You still wish to ascend, if not to godhood, then close to it.” He stepped even closer to his bond-mate and as he did, Sephiroth took both of Cloud’s hands gently. Surprisingly, Cloud allowed it.

Shaking his head in disdain, Sephiroth replied, “Your young friend _cannot_ get involved. Holy cannot stop Meteor; it can only make its advance worse.”

“How do you know this?” Puzzled beyond containment, Cloud remembered how this had all happened, how it had all become. “Weren’t _you_ the one who summoned it in the first place?” Head tilted to the side, he frowned so deeply that it hurt every muscle in his face and neck.

Holding one of the Black Materia bits in his hand once he broke away from Cloud’s grasp, Sephiroth shifted the object up as he glared at it. “I didn’t,” he corrected with an urbane lift of his brow.

Their eyes met, and when Cloud intently gazed into Sephiroth’s pupils, he saw the entire universe. There was no lie, there; he knew Sephiroth long enough to be able to sense when he was lying. In spite of his horrific experiences with the unforgiving One Winged Angel, there was not a single trace of deception there in his eyes and beyond in his soul. Cloud was able to feel it, now, and it truly shocked him to know that Sephiroth hadn’t been the one who’d caused all this.

Then, who had? Who was to be blamed?

A horrifying blast suddenly echoed throughout the temple. It ricocheted off the walls like a death knell no one could avoid. Cloud shrieked in fear as he held his arms up. To his ears, it sounded akin to a gun firing off.

Searching quickly for the source of the shooting, Cloud finally noticed a flash of red, black, and silver. His eyes knew what he was looking at, but his tongue never formed the words on time. A few bullets cut and zipped through the air, aiming perfectly for Sephiroth’s head. They would have been a brutal, fatal end for the One Winged Angel had he not ducked away on time.

Sephiroth fell to his knees, bowing his head low, and the shots that were fired missed their intended target. The bullets lodged into a large, golden plaque mounted high on the wall, and it terrified Cloud all the same. That could’ve been Sephiroth’s head…

 _‘Dear gods…I still care about him so much that I can’t see him hurt…’_ He should’ve hated himself for this, but there wasn’t much time to struggle with his own feelings and ideas.

Vincent Valentine stood before them, glaring spitefully at Sephiroth while his firearm glistened dangerously in the light. Smoke and a thin puff of steam rose from it as he huffed in disappointment.

“Odd…I’m usually a good shot.”

When he raised Cerberus again, Cloud leapt in his way and swatted the weapon away from aiming at Sephiroth. It fired off, but the bullets were wasted as they barreled into the floor instead of directly into Sephiroth’s forehead.

“Don’t point that at him!” Shoving Vincent away roughly, he held an arm out behind himself, wondering whether Sephiroth was going to attack. It seemed unlikely, however. The One Winged Angel glared ahead at Vincent, an odd glint hanging in the center of his slitted eyes.

Suddenly, a warped shadow formed on the ceiling and walls of the temple. Tiny feet pattered about, and before anyone could react, a small voice roared forth at them. Another strange flash, and then the Black Materia had been swiped clean out of Sephiroth’s hands.

As the taller warrior scowled down, an anthropomorphic, remote-controlled plush toy cat and moogle proudly stood about. The cat measured just over three feet tall with short, black fur and a white stomach and face. He wore a short, red cape, white gloves and a small crown. In his right hand, he wielded a megaphone, and as he pressed it against his whiskered face, he chuckled heartily while the moogle gripped the Black Materia strongly.

“Thank you for your patronage, you beast!” Cackling while it tripudiated for a moment, the little creature riding the robotic moogle hissed out through the megaphone, “Hurry along! Hurry along! Make for a quick escape!” And with that, the bizarre thing was off. With surprising agility and speed, it got away, which alarmed Sephiroth.

Growling ferociously, he began assessing the creature while it laughed on down the long path of the temples.

“There’s plenty of stuffed toys like my body around, but there’s only one me! You can’t catch meeee!” Singing in glee and zeal, it was already disappearing. Sephiroth didn’t appear to want to chase after it as badly as Cloud suspected, which was terribly weird.

Why wasn’t Sephiroth going after the Black Materia?

As he began to march off in the direction the furry feline creature had run off to, Sephiroth abruptly paused. Sharply turning himself around, his eyes met Vincent’s, first, and then Cloud’s.

With what appeared to be a hint of depressing and conflicting emotions battling to the surface, he craned his neck in the direction of the corner Aerith was cowering in as he softly orated, “Get her out of here; make sure she’s safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Squealing with adorableness running all over myself with Cait Sith's entry, here!  
> But Vincent...what the hell?


	41. Antiquity

If it weren’t for Aerith’s safety, Cloud would’ve stayed and chased Sephiroth down to the ends of the planet, demanding to acquire the answers he desperately needed and wanted. Nothing Sephiroth did matched up with the theories and ideas Cloud once entertained regarding the mysterious One Winged Angel, and now, he was starting to entertain many doubts.

Had he been wrong about Sephiroth all this time? Even prior to the soul bond’s inception, had Avalanche been misinformed about what Sephiroth’s end goal was in all this? Had something within Sephiroth morphed into a more conducive, understanding representation?

Sephiroth was human, now, and he had been prior to his death! Was it easy to forget that he had feelings, thoughts, ideas, goals? Was he not a person in the order of nature and the planet?

Perhaps they had lost sight of what their foe now was after years of rage and turmoil.

Sephiroth remained vehement in the fact that he wasn’t the one who’d summoned the meteor, which ran counter to everything Cloud knew and had observed so far. His memory wasn’t poor, nor was he suffering from amnesia. When he’d been arguing with his bond-mate, and after Jenova’s body had been mysteriously taken away, Sephiroth had shown him that he’d summoned the meteor! He trusted his eyes! He’d seen it all as if it were happening right now!

Why was there room for doubt? Why was he not as sure of Sephiroth wanting to destroy their planet as he had been, before? What had changed? Was there any misacceptation on his part?

Whatever the cause, and whatever the reason, Cloud vowed that once he crept out of the temple with Aerith in his arms, and only when she was out of harm’s way, he would go back for Sephiroth. The One Winged Angel didn’t deserve to be alone. Clearly, he was fighting something, and with Shinra’s men advancing swiftly, Cloud didn’t want to take risks and leave Sephiroth to his own devices.

One they stumbled out of the temple, Cloud nearly slipped down the slope and stairs, had Vincent not caught him and supported him the rest of the way down the slippery slope. Fires burned all around them, but the martinet and composed Vincent Valentine trained his sight on the bottom of the steps, gently setting Cloud and Aerith down on the soft grass.

Cloud heard Barret’s thick, deep voice close to the exit of the temple. The large man was crying out for Cloud and Aerith, but once again, Aerith had lost herself to a state of inert unconsciousness.

It couldn’t be helped; they’d suffered beyond their psychological limitations, and trauma had already overtaken them.

The last thing Cloud had seen was Tseng’s bleeding corpse strewn on the mossy, wet ground, and he couldn’t bear it. Gathering Aerith tightly in his arms, he limped away from the temple, barely making it across the rocky threshold when Barret and Tifa slammed into him.

The wind whipped the raven-haired woman’s locks in her face, shielding her eyes before she squinted at Cloud carrying Aerith. Shrieking in horror, Tifa’s arms came up to cradle her friend’s skull, no doubt checking for wounds or bumps, while Barret’s eyes widened behind his thick shades.

“She’s fine,” Cloud answered their concerns, noticing that Red was lingering in the back with half of the Wutai troops. Standing next to the brave animal happened to be Zor and Yuffie, holding their weapons with pride as they gleamed at Cloud. They cheered once they saw that both Avalanche members were safe and sound. In turn, Cloud gave them both a tiny nod of respect and greeting.

“I’m glad the Princess was found,” the golden-haired male rasped as he gently held Aerith up. He knew he was running out of energy, but something foul and horrible still lingered. They weren’t out of harm’s way, yet, but he had no way of communicating that.

Barret peeked up at Vincent past the rim of his sunglasses, nodding in gratitude at the sullen, abditive male. “Thank you for lookin’ out for them…guess we owe you one, huh?”

Vincent turned his crimson eyes down at Aerith, an odd shimmer appearing in the center of his red irises without reasons anyone could grasp. His silence permeated through and through, but he stepped out of the way like a smooth shadow, lingering behind Cloud.

An explosion suddenly went off, and Aerith was already awake. Screaming a bloodcurdling, vicious scream, she began fighting and struggling against Tifa’s hold. “Let me go! I need to go back in there!”

Shocked beyond comprehension as to her actions and demands to go back into the hellhole they’d barely escaped from, Barret took a hold of one of her arms, while Tifa grabbed the other when she tried dashing ahead.

Whipping and kicking her arms and legs about, Aerith fought as though they were trying to murder her. Emitting horrendous wails and cries as her tears poured liberally down her flushed cheeks, she shoved Tifa aside, fumbling for balance, but then Barret snagged her waist with his large, thick forearm. Hoisting her off the ground, he pried her away from reaching the entrance of the large temple again.

Pounding her small fists against his chest violently, Aerith shrieked minaciously, “Barret! Put me down! Put me down right now!!”

“Stop squirmin’, girl! You nuts or what?!” Growling precariously as he tried keeping her from wriggling away, he winced when she kicked him particularly hard in the shins. “Why the hell do you wanna go back in the damn temple for?!”

Head feeling like it would burst much in the way a large balloon would, Cloud massaged his forehead as he softly asked Tifa, “H-how did you guys find us?”

“It wasn’t a coincidence, I know.” Staring off the side, Tifa nodded over at what appeared to be an old dual-propeller airplane. The machine was badly damaged and appeared to be close to going up in flames, but the pilot stood and waved next to it at them.

He was a man in his thirties, Cloud suspected. This individual seemed like he’d lived through better days. With a weather-beaten face, he had short-cropped dirty-blond hair and blue eyes that seemed to reflect the color of the sky.

He wore a pair of pilot’s goggles on his brow, along with a blue jacket, in which the seams had strings coming out of them here and there. The jacket itself was old and rugged, not any worse than the condition of his plane, however. His pants were khaki, and they were blown slightly by the wind, as it picked up.

As he stood regal and proud while gazing into the distant wind, his apparel almost looked fatigued from the wind. Clenching his fists, he then tightened his fingers in his gloves slightly, chewing on the cigarette held tightly between his clenched teeth while taking a step back in his brown, leather boots.

Saluting Barret, he bowed his head once before leaping inside his old plane and taking off.

Struggling to hold Aerith down, Barret added, “We had ourselves a little help; some fella named Cid Highwind was kind enough to do the job for some gil.”

Pawing at Cloud to get his attention, Red nudged him with his head, fiery-tipped tail swishing about energetically. “Shinra’s men are everywhere! We need to figure out how we’re going to keep them at bay!”

Throwing his right arm into the air and aiming for the horizon after the large plane took off into the dark, night sky, Barret roared, “I’m ready!”

“Barret! You idiot!” Tifa slapped his arm as she pointed ahead and shrieked, “Aerith’s going back to the temple!”

“…Damn it!”

It was unfortunately quite a disturbing reality. The moment Barret had been distracted, Aerith fled into the temple, pushing past rocks and tree branches as she wormed her way into the darkness.

Rolling his eyes, Red admonished saucily, “Way to go, you moron.”

Stomping his foot down, Barret cursed himself, but there wasn’t time to go after Aerith. All around the outer perimeter of the temple, ninjas and Shinra warriors began climbing over the stairs and the walls. They used grappling hooks and claw-like mechanisms as they ran up along the sides of the temple, desperately trying to find a way inside. A few of the armed guards were already firing away at the Wutai troops, but the horde fought back immediately.

Yuffie let out a piercing whistle as she then threw her trusted shuriken at three warriors advancing on Tifa and Barret. In retaliation, once they were knocked down, Red leapt on top of one guard, ferociously clawing and tearing his uniform to shreds. Barret fired up a rocketing overcharge attack, and it blasted away through shields of the Elite Riot Troopers and Riot Troopers advancing on them quickly.

As soon as a few of those men were downed, the darkly clad ninjas flew over their heads, landing gracefully down before the members of Avalanche as they unleashed a series of deadly martial arts-based attacks.

Barret tried targeting them and shooting away, but they’d been prepared to deflect, dodge, and flip out of the way. The way they moved seemed to bend and twist even the air and gravity around themselves. Barret kept trying to at least land one hit, but it was impossible when the ninjas practically flew around like blackbirds in the heavy darkness.

Growling his frustrations forth through clenched teeth, Barret nodded over at Tifa while Cloud and Red grouped together to form a tight circle so they could all face the open environment and enemies surrounding them at every angle possible.

“Tifa! Do your thing, girl!”

“On it!”

Nodding back at Barret while she charged up her gloves and assumed her battle stance, she stacked and built up energy for unleashing the most potent damage. Isolating one ninja by himself trying to tear down the same path Aerith had taken to get back inside the temple, Tifa was immediately striking away at the man’s turned back. Striking fearlessly, she gathered her power and launched upwards with a deft punch, causing great damage through the use of her sharp uppercut. As one ninja had been knocked down, another two tried ambushing Tifa.

Barret noticed them as he spun around and kept watch on the young woman. “Ah! No you don’t, you sons of bitches!”

Firing away three times at them, he used his last shot to burst through the dirt, causing the bits to fly up and blind the enemies for the moment. As they were distracted, Tifa made quick use of Rise and Fall. Tifa peppered the enemies with powerful kicks and her brutal, forceful palm as a finisher, bashing them down into the dirt and leaving them knocked out cold.

Red took down a few gnarly, rabid Grashstrikes and Ringmaws before they could unleash deadly poison. As one team, Avalanche used their weapons and magic to the best of their abilities, rotating their attack moves and powers, never once leaving one member to fight off too many enemies at once.

This seemed to work as the Wutai warriors pushed their way along, knocking back many guards and Shinra troops bearing shields. The rotating attacks and collaboration tricked many enemies quite well, and they didn’t know what else to expect when Red would snap and nip at their heels, only for Barret to charge at them next, knocking them into Tifa, who cleverly bashed them down with her fists.

Only Cloud had no weapon, but he made good use of a branch, swinging it wildly as he broke through the helmets of a few Shinra guards and kicked away their weapons. As he fought, he once again thought back to all the lessons and times spent dueling with Sephiroth.

The older, more experienced former SOLDIER had been correct, like always. Enemies didn’t care how ready he was; they weren’t here to properly hold an honorable duel; they were looking to maim and get Avalanche out of their way so they could lead Rufus Shinra into the temple.

Vowing not to let the foul man into the temple if he had to fight until the very last drop of his blood coursed through his veins, Cloud really began fighting energetically. Punching and kicking at his enemies wasn’t something he was accustomed to doing, but for the moment, it was helping as he shoved back three warriors and security officers. Through their helmets and masks, they shouted at him, but he swung the branch. A moment later, Tifa ran through the air, kicking one of them in the face, while Barret shot the remaining two down.

Patting him on the back in assurance, she cried out, “You okay, Cloud?”

Nodding, he replied, “Just a bit shaken! Nothing I can’t handle!”

Growling as he raised his right leg and kicked another guard in the stomach, Barret noticed Cloud’s lack of preparedness and snorted derisively. “Nice goin’ there, merc! Comin’ into battle without your weapons!”

Glaring heatedly, Cloud muttered, “Wasn’t my choice.”

Before Barret could throw out something barbed and annoying, a few Monodrives, Sentry Rays, as well as four groups of Shinra’s army dashed ahead. They pushed forth a large cart, perching it right on the flat ground before the temple’s steps, aiming it all right for Avalanche. On the count of ‘three’, the cart had been opened, and the real arsenal had been displayed.

Two Sentry Launchers, a Sentry Gun Prototype, two Slug-Rays, as well as three Blast-Rays began crawling up the temple steps. A large Sweeper Prototype joined in, aiming right for Avalanche.

Barret paled as he turned to his friends and coughed out, “Umm, who has any materia left for a lightning attack?”

Tifa dug into her pockets as she giggled. “You got ‘em, now!” Tossing them over to Barret, who loaded them up in his gun, the bold young female used her Focused Strikes to prevent the smaller foes from getting past them.

The Ringmaws and Gashstrikes were easy to get rid of, but the swiftly advancing Sweeper Prototype and the Sentry Gun Prototypes weren’t. Coupled with the Slug-Rays, their shots were deadly when everyone was hanging out in the open.

“Shit, we gotta move!” Barret hurtled back, urgently pushing Cloud and Tifa up the steps toward the temple once again.

The Blast-Ray turned and targeted them, using its rapid-fire grenade launcher to try and separate them. The shot fired off into the stone steps, knocking Barret off his feet. He landed next to Tifa, but the young woman tugged him up and out of the line of fire as the guards and Slug-Rays flew up into the air at them.

Tifa took off as high as they were flying, employing Dolphin Flurry attacks to unleash an unrelenting stream of acrobatic attacks. Significantly increasing the staggering effects, the Blast-Rays both exploded even before hitting the ground.

Meanwhile, Red tried weaving his way close to the Sentry Launcher as it rotated and homed in various missiles at the bottom of the temple, no doubt trying to get the doors to blast open forcefully. The large feline clawed at the legs of the machine, but it quickly turned and targeted him dangerously. Red leapt out of the way before it could fire away at himself, and the terrified animal raced back past Barret.

Pointing at Red and laughing at his expense, Barret heartily chanted, “Haaa! Who’s the ‘fraidy cat, now?!”

When he stood to his full height, the Sentry Launcher targeted him, next. Multiple shots came at a distracted Barret, and he danced out of the way before slipping off the edge of the steps.

“Woops! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!” Hanging tenuously onto the ledge before he fell, he hoisted himself up, and Cloud tugged him up the rest of the way back to the ground.

Hauling the overly muscular male up onto his feet had been difficult when grenades were launched and fire was already eating away through the forest, spreading tremendously fast over the land. It was no doubt the best strategy the Shinra army could use to their benefit, and they were already gaining the upper hand.

Tifa and Cloud drew back, while Barret, completely overrun with rage, stood and pointed his massive firearm at an aggressive Sweeper creeping over.

“Get goin’, you two! I’ll handle this shit!”

Red was pawing through the dirt, digging his way through a pile of large boulders that had fallen due to the explosions. Nosing his way inside, he sniffed deeply before he announced loudly, “Over here! I think we have to crawl in, but we should be able to squeeze by!”

Tifa crawled in first, using her super slender figure to her advantage. Once she was on the other side of the fallen rubble and rocks, she held out a hand for Cloud to take. Encouraged by her support and success, the blonde ex-SOLDIER squatted and then wriggled inside. It was a tight fit with his frame and broader shoulders, but when he turned to his side and was yanked in the rest of the way by Tifa, he felt much better.

Brushing mud and dirt off his clothes, Cloud bent to peek out through the gaping hole in the temple walls. Outside, Barret, Vincent, and Biggs repeatedly fired away at the deadly Sweeper. They managed to destroy the flame barrels attached to its arms, but fire immediately billowed out and spread over the vegetation.

As the corrosive fires rose potently, Biggs hung back, losing himself to a spasmodic coughing fit. Vincent helped shield him away from it, and as they retreated, the raven-haired, versute fighter abruptly disappeared.

Emitting a strained roar, Barret stood his ground as he bellowed out powerfully, “I’ve had just about enough of all this shit!” Charging up his weapon with materia and reverent strength backed by strident anger, the raucous male held his arm back, timing his attack perfectly.

Though Cloud would’ve dodged the assault of bullets barreling forth from the Sweeper and Sentry Gun, Barret purposely stood there. The formidable machines inched closer and closer, and sweat rolled down Barret’s face. Vigilantly, when the machines were mere seconds away from bashing into him, the Avalanche member bent and slammed his arm into the ground. The shock wave was more than enough to blast through with a lightning force that sent nearby enemies flying.

The volatile Sweepers as well as the Sentry Guns froze midway through their rapid fire, and as they were unable to carry out their attacks, Vincent swooped in and fired away at them. Moving at the speed of light, Vincent practically became mist and vapor, a stream of blood red as he zipped through the deadly machines, disintegrating them into pieces with his potent weapon.

They burst apart, their bits and pieces rolling and flying through the air. Barret cheered and chirked Vincent on, leaping into the air and pumping a celebratory fist up and down.

“Yeeeah! That’s how you show ‘em!”

Gazing into the barrel of his weapon intently, Vincent reverently stated, “You’ve done well, but our war is not yet over.” Nodding up in the direction of the officers carrying riot shields paired with the Sentry Guns, the cryptic male barked bombastically, “Take cover!”

Already on the run, Barret rolled and dodged as best as he could while the onslaught and terrible rain of fire and bullets pelted the area. Hiding behind the protective canopy of bushes and accolent rocks, Barret turned and made it to the area Red had dug through, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to squeeze through, obviously.

Eyeing his hulking, massive size as he stood next to him stiffly, Vincent purred softly, “Now, what’s to be done about this, I should wonder.”

Huffing confidently, Barret’s firearm shot up in the air like a flag. Grinning at Vincent, he boldly crowed, “Watch and learn, mystery man, watch and learn.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The only conceivable way inside the temple was through the holes in the top. Rocks cascaded and tumbled around the outside, but Barret used an overpowered Fire in the Hole charged blast, and the force of it acted like a cannon ball and burst through the wall.

Quickly, once Barret and Biggs rushed safely inside the temple, Tifa, Cloud, and Biggs began pushing and heaving rocks, broken accolades, statues, as well as anything that would cover and seal off the gaping hole Barret created so less warriors and officers could get in.

Unfortunately, the ninjas were quite clever. Throwing their grappling hooks over the top of the temple, they began climbing up and over, whistling and shouting for the rest of the members on their team to follow suit.

Pointing up in panic, Tifa screamed, “We have to stop them!”

Saluting proudly, Yuffie sang out cheerfully, “Leave it to me!” Then, with everyone watching, the young woman took off flipping gracefully in the air.

Using her acrobatic moves to her advantage rather well, she dashed up the rest of the way as she ran up the rocky temple wall, and at once, she yanked out a sharp knife. Slicing away at the ropes of the grappling hooks, she cut down at least two rows of ninjas before they had a chance to reach the top.

The temple began shifting and moving, the rocks turning and floors sliding. Every arrangement had been disrupted before a new pattern took its place. Like a maze, the layout of the temple rearranged itself and broke apart. It was truly dangerous to be caught in this mess, and without a reliable path and map guiding them along, Cloud knew he was risking his own life, and the lives of his friends.

Pressing on for Aerith, they all shouted her name repeatedly, mindful of the floors that suddenly moved and shifted to become a part of the walls, and the ceilings lowering to mesh into the floor. Dust and smoke gathered from the holes in the walls, and atop the temple, more ninjas and warriors used their grappling hooks to climb down into the belly of the deleterious temple.

The fight continued in the shaky temple, and Shinra’s army didn’t seem to care that the layout of the areas in which they were continuing their war was rapidly changing by the minute. The unstable grounds shook and quaked as though an earthquake was underway. Still, the guards persisted doggedly, firing off many rounds at Avalanche. From above, in the gaping holes in the roof of the temple, Wutai warriors flew in, descending upon the Shinra army as they triumphantly began holding their own.

Yuffie fought honorably and shrewdly as she ordered for her men to use the cover of the rocks and walls to their advantage when the Shinra army ceased firing in order to reload their weapons.

“Come on! Now’s our chance!” She hurtled forth, missing how three armed men were swarming her. Cloud noticed it, however, as did Zor. Together, the young men flew after Yuffie, and saved her skin right on time.

Just as Yuffie had hoisted her shuriken in the air, Cloud grabbed guard number two by the neck and pushed him into number three, who had just come around the other side of a rock, no doubt wanting to ambush Yuffie. Guard number three wobbled backwards and went to grab a weapon concealed in one of the pockets of his dirty, faded pants.

“Cloud! Use this!” Zor pulled out a long blade and started towards his friend.

Cleverly catching it in midair, Cloud swiped at one guard before kicking the other threatening to circle him. The man had been prepared, and he tried lunging forth. Cloud backed up and put his arms behind himself as he dodged the swipe of a deadly blade aimed for his chest. After moving away, he spun around and delivered a crushing right sidekick that caught his attacker square in the ribs.

Though the first man crashed to the ground holding himself, the second one was already charging an attack with his sword and a riot shield. Cloud wasn’t able to move away on time, and the shield clipped him in the side of the head. Rolling onto the ground as he dropped his knife, when he fought for gaining back his energy to go crawling after it, the guard whistled a high-pitched whistle.

At once, an armored, Elite Shock Trooper dove right at him. Bracing himself for defeat due to his lack of weapons and gear, Cloud covered his head with his hands and curled into a tight ball. A blast suddenly flew through the air, sending the Elite Shock Trooper back a good few feet, though he wasn’t knocked down just yet.

Vincent Valentine rolled forth when the Elite Shock Trooper retaliated by flipping and flying at him. When Vincent dove down out of the way and rolled back up, he cleverly fired off his weapon right when the Shinra enemy loomed over him headfirst. The potent gunfire blasted the Elite Shock Trooper’s helmet and armor off, and then another Wutai warrior finished him off with quick combos and slices.

Not to be forgotten, guard number three lunged at Yuffie and Zor blade first. The young brunette fell to the ground flatly on her back and swung her legs up over her head. Her confused attacker stood there for a second before he started to come closer. She smiled and kicked her feet out to meet his face, the momentum propelling herself back up onto her feet. Zor held onto her hand as he righted her, and together, they flung shuriken at more enemies on the way inside the temple.

Once again, when the army moved in by the horde, the first wave sent the Wutai warriors reeling back for cover. Barret took care of them as he paired up with Vincent, shooting mutinously at them until they’d shot down their shields and armor to bits.

Yuffie could not do much more than watch her companions in disbelief. She figured that Tifa had to be a ninja, too, or at least one hell of a fighter, but she did not recognize the new battle techniques as the raven-haired female twirled upwards into the air, yanking up at least two guards, one per hand before she slammed them down to the earth.

Clapping at Tifa for her work, Yuffie cried out in zeal, “Are you sure your lineage isn’t from Wutai?! You’re more skilled than I am, Tifa!”

Beaming at her in self-directed pride, Tifa sang out, “Thanks!” At once, her smile dropped, and she pointed over Yuffie’s shoulder. “Watch out!”

Yuffie spun around in surprise, confronted by a masked ninja. He saw her astonished glance and grabbed her by the waist.

“Oh no you don’t!” Tifa somersaulted into the man, sending him crashing away from Yuffie.

As confident as they’d been, abruptly, new surprises awaited them.

One ninja brought in two hulking giants, both on chained leashes. One of the giants had a stumpy leg which was shorter than the opposite one, and it limped painfully while salivating once it set its greedy eyes on them all. The lumbering beasts shifted awkwardly into the temple, standing before the Wutai warriors and Avalanche members. Throwing their heads back and snarling, their cries shook the floor of the temple drastically.

The giants charged at Barret, first, kicking and stomping at him while Tifa and Red were distracted. As the colossal beasts drew closer, Barret squinted once he saw a tiny dwarf sitting atop one of the giants, evidently controlling it.

Wanting to get the giant on his right out of the way, first, Barret used a potent Smackdown. It did well to send the creature on the right down to its knees, and Red finished it off by crawling up along its back and shoulders before biting away at its neck. Once the giant was downed, the remaining one kicked at Barret.

Due to its strength, the beast hit the Avalanche member, throwing him down potently. Before it could smash its foot into his chest, Barret rolled himself away and aimed a few shots at its eye. Causing his own amount of significant damage, the giant wailed in pain as it fell to its knees.

As it went down, the small dwarf resting on its back climbed over to its shoulder as it whispered something in its ear. Pressing an arm down over its eye, healing magic shot forth, and the dwarf cackled like a tiny demon in glee.

Nodding over at it while he was helped to his feet by Cloud, Barret surmised, “Is he going to cure its disability, now?”

Red dashed to Barret’s side, as did Cloud. The trio stood glaring at the healed giant, and Barret shook his head in utter disbelief once it got up to its full height again, hulking and looming over them menacingly.

“Oh my god,” Barret murmured as he cracked his neck and knuckles. “This fight was kind of easy at first, but then Shinra went ahead and cranked up the difficulty by fifty million percent.”

Grunting testily, Cloud ordered, “Less talking, more fighting!”

The captious dwarf guided the giant to charge, and it did. Blindly running forth with the curved groove of its forehead aiming to cause the most damage if it caught someone, as it dashed at them, the trio split. Red climbed a pile of rocks, reaching to the very top before he bounced off the solid mass and landed perfectly on top of the dwarf controlling the giant.

Yuffie hollered for more of her men to help in the strenuous battle. Flipping herself to her feet deftly, she trudged over the newly fallen giant once it tried to shake Red off its heavy shoulders.

Barret chuckled while he blasted at the stumpy leg of the creature. “This guy thinks he can cheat his way through this, so I cheat with my cohesive unit!”

Yuffie smiled to herself as she laughed energetically and crowed, “It’s my turn to show off!” She pulled her head back and catapulted it into the giant’s stomach, shoving a shuriken deeply into its round gut half a second later before cartwheeling away.

Yuffie was not just about targeting injury; she wanted to add a little insult at the same time, so she stomped on the giant’s clubbed foot. As expected, her foe was thrown off guard. As soon as the creature wailed and hopped back, Tifa and Cloud barreled forth as one unit. Together, the two young Avalanche members stuck out their arms and pushed them into the giant’s ribs. The blow was so powerful it knocked the enormous creature flat on its back.

The dwarf fell off its place atop the giant’s shoulders, shrieking in fright before Barret fired away cruelly at it. 

Resuming their battle, Avalanche coordinated their attacks quite well, expertly forcing and pushing back the ninjas and security officers by each wave they arrived in.

Numerous puzzles and oddities lay in the temple, but Avalanche had no time for them when the warriors and officers advanced rapidly. Barret shot through any area he could, while Cloud cried out for Aerith.

Shaking him by the shoulders desperately, Tifa urged in a shrill cry, “Cloud! Do you know where Aerith may have gone?!”

“I think I know!” Recalling the alter the young woman had been aiming to go to and pray at due to the grainy visions and memories pouring into his head, Cloud navigated his way along as gears and wheels within the temple shifted and spun around rapidly, changing the entire layout in mere seconds.

Trusting his instincts, Cloud ran on ahead, torches lighting up the way, thankfully. Behind himself, Tifa, Vincent, and Red were trying to keep up. Zor, Barret, Biggs, and Yuffie held off the security officers and ninjas, and Cloud doubled his speed. He hoped and prayed nothing had happened to Aerith. The winding halls and narrow corners almost sent his heart into a worried frenzy as he urgently pressed on.

Powerful energy and magic radiated from the center of the temple, which could’ve meant they were awfully close. It was difficult to tell as Wutai troops and Shinra’s army battled on.

Calling out over his shoulder to his friends, Cloud hissed, “Keep your eyes out for Turks and Shinra’s men!” He thought back to the wounded Tseng, and as his anger and irritation with the Turk leader soared, Cloud didn’t want to be as bad as the man. Either way, if Rufus wasn’t already inside the temple, Cloud vowed to save Tseng as soon as they located the wounded male.

Flustered since they’d been running about for some time and had yet to reach anywhere productive, Tifa panted over Cloud’s neck, “Cloud, are you sure you know where we’re going?”

Cloud made to answer, when two bodies slammed into his own. Grunting in mild pain, he composed himself as he squinted in the dim lights and espied two familiar forms.

Defenses up significantly, Cloud spat venomously, “You two again?”

Standing in the dark, looking just as confused and lost in the maze and labyrinth, the Turks Reno and Rude gaped at Cloud before they recovered from their befuddled states.

Cloud reached for anything to throw at the vicious Turks, innervated to the highest degree now that another interruption and ‘obstacle’ was in his path. Churlishly, he spat at Reno especially, “I don’t want to fight with you, so get—”

Closing the scant distance between their bodies, Reno surprisingly didn’t lash out or assault anyone. Eyes wide and filled with emotions, he bellowed mightily and frantically, “Woah, woah! Wait! Wait a sec!”

Filling in for him when he heaved and panted, clearly out of breath due to all the excitement, Rude pushed his shades up over the bridge of his nose as he gruffly stated, “We’re here to actually help you out.” Jabbing at Reno with a few fingers, he added, “My partner and I had a lot of thinking to do, and let’s just say we had a bit of a change of heart.”

Rolling his blue eyes, Reno laughed, “Please! Like you even have one to begin with!” Succinctly and pithily, he rasped before Cloud, “You and Sephiroth could’ve killed us, yet you didn’t. Call me insane, but in my books, when two enemies agree as one, I pay attention.”

This was a huge waste of time, and Cloud was tempted to just plow past the two Turks, when orders were shouted back and forth from the rest of the Shinra army. Their shadows fell in line against the walls, and Cloud felt fresh rounds of fear seizing himself in large doses.

Luckily, Rude and Reno heard it, as well, and they were more than eager to do something about it. Nodding at Cloud and his friends, they brushed past him in the narrow pathway as Reno hissed, “We’ll try to create some sort of a diversion! You just do what you gotta do!”

Rude paused as he flashed Cloud a ‘thumbs up’, and then blushed as he looked at Tifa shyly. Respectfully, he bowed his head at Tifa before he followed his partner swiftly.

Everyone was in total shock due to the random happenstance, and Barret, who had just recently caught up, especially seemed floored by the odd fluke.

Pointing at the Turks, he bluntly threw out in a mess, “Th-the hell was that? Since when are those two knuckleheads on _our_ side?”

“Don’t care, but let’s count our good luck and blessings while we can!” Cloud charged ahead, deciding to perhaps question Rude and Reno at a later point…provided if they survived through this. At least now, with the Shinra officers and warriors held back, they had more time on their hands to get moving.

When doors and circular walls slid open and shut, leading into new paths and strange directions, Cloud tore through. In his haste, he didn’t see the moogle robot carrying the black cat with the megaphone leaping in his way until the last second.

Raising the object in its hand, the cat shouted boisterously, “You shall go no further!!”

Halting, Cloud, as well as the rest of the members of Avalanche stopped at once. Tifa cried out in shock as her eyes landed on the creature, studying the robot, and then the cat from head to toe.

“What are—”

Bowing, the cat howled in an announcement, “Say no more! Standing before you is the wondrous Cait Sith!”

Peering over Cloud’s shoulder, Barret grunted, “The who?” Studying the cat closely, he questioned, “What’s this bullshit creature?!”

“The one and only Cait Sith, at your service!”

Acerbated with the odd creature wasting their time, Cloud tried maneuvering himself out of the way so he could get by. Cait Sith stopped him, however, shouting at him with the megaphone inclined up into his ears, practically.

“Halt, I said!!”

Contemptuously, Cloud retorted irately, “The temple’s collapsing! Move out of the way!” Shooing the creature with his hands, he tried leaping over it, but the robotic arms latched onto the seam of his dark pants and fiercely held on. Cloud growled volatilely as he tried shoving the bizarre thing away from himself, but then Tifa bent and worriedly stood before the cat.

“We’re in an awfully big hurry,” she began in a gentle tone Cloud often heard her using whenever she was speaking with children, especially. She was even staring at this supposed ‘Cait Sith’ with kind eyes and a warm approach all over her demeanor; a clever, wise move for deescalating conflict before it began.

Pausing for a moment as the little cat peered at her semi-timorously, it then hooted before doing a little, fancy backflip in the air, tossing up the megaphone before he snatched it into his hands with perfect ease. Like an acrobat of the highest proficiency, Cait Sith twirled about on the robot as he announced cheerfully, “A hurry you may be in, lass, but there’s one thing I’d like to say to you all…”

Peering down into the corridors past the dangerous paths lying ahead waiting for them, still, Cloud’s stomach tossed and turned, gut swelling and churning in brutal knots. Rudely, he grunted, “Say whatever the hell it is you want, quickly!”

Huffing at his boorish demand, Cait Sith flexed before cracking his knuckles. Clearing his throat, he waved the megaphone in the air, though he didn’t use it to communicate, this time. Eyes narrowing into slits, he seriously orated, “I was coming for your heads when I heard what you lot did to the Mako Reactors!”

Taking that as a threat quite literally, Barret puffed out his chest, raising his gun arm as he declaimed arrogantly, “Try it and I’ll personally bust your furry head open!” Firing a warning shot into the wall, Barret made sure to get his point across well as the few odd bullets zipped by Cait Sith’s tiny, feline nose.

Emitting a small squeal of fright, Cait Sith ducked as he waved a hand in the air, perhaps in a form of an odd surrender. “Come on, now! There’s no need for such barbaric savagery! Why can’t you just listen, first?”

Grinding his teeth together to the point where it caused himself great pain, Cloud snapped impatiently, “Come right out and say it, then!”

Hovering and cowering over the robot in fear when screams and gunshots rang about, the furry feline whispered, “I would like to offer my help to your group.” When everyone around him scowled as though they didn’t take his word on it, Cait Sith supplied earnestly, “I have yet to lie! Anyone defending Gaia is worthy in my books!” Clapping his hands, he straightened up as he pointed down into the dark passageways.

Barret huffed thickly, “How do we know you ain’t playin’ us?”

Hooting at him in a bizarre sound that came off like a honk of a laugh, Cait Sith gloriously crooned, “You want to gain access to the altar, don’t you? The summoning altar, which will save us all, and where I last saw a pale-headed demon?”

Cloud’s breath hitched in his throat. “Sephiroth…”

Nodding his confirmation, Cait Sith purred, “Aye. That lout, indeed.”

“Cait Sith, where’s Sephiroth?” Tifa’s gentle, soothing voice had been the catalyst for the tiny creature to finally acquiesce.

Proudly jutting his chest out and standing vigilant, the strange feline rasped, “I shall take you to him at once, but the entire temple is comprised of puzzles and mechanisms you won’t be able to understand…” When Cloud growled in a light warning, Cait Sith held up his hands as he chuckled awkwardly, “Err, I mean, unless I help!”

Gripping the moogle’s head, Cloud turned it around, and with such force and intensity that Cait Sith nearly slid and fell off. As he hooked onto the robot, he charged it forth as energetically as he could while the members of Avalanche tentatively followed.

Though they weren’t as trusting, they all unanimously knew that they had no other choice and no other guidance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cait Sith, you adorable little bastard.


	42. Inside Chaos

They were lost, but not unreasonably so. Cloud and his friends cried out for Cait Sith multiple times, but the explosions coupled with strange, ambient noises in the temple dragged them deeper and deeper into the sordid mess of a world that seemed to never end. Though it wasn’t realistically never-ending, Avalanche soon lost sight of Cait Sith accidentally. They’d been tearing through lowering and raising platforms, and the oddities of the mechanisms working before their stunned eyes did very little to comfort them.

The ceilings melded into the floors, and the floors floated up as though bewitched to morph into the ceiling. The lights played tricks on their eyes, and shiny objects, highly similar to glassy shards and bits reflected their worst nightmares onto themselves. It was difficult to keep moving, but Cait Sith was covering a lot of ground too quickly. Ordering and shouting for the moogle to drive on forth, his burst of energy was impossible to keep up with, and Avalanche soon fell behind.

Those who were injured, Vincent vowed to heal and care for, guiding them through safe passage out of harm’s way.

Cloud felt his lungs about to burst. Breathing wasn’t even helping, so he began hyperventilating. Doors were sliding shut behind himself, and he had to leap across wider distances to even see the red of Cait Sith’s cape. Tifa shouted and wailed for him to slow down, but Cloud didn’t stop. With a deep groan, the temple again shifted, and as the golden-haired male doggedly pursued Cait Sith’s path, he hadn’t been paying close attention to where he’d been stepping.

His dark boot slammed down on a pressure plate hidden beneath rubble, and as his body weight ground onto it, a thick, heavy door made entirely of swords and glass shards rose from the ground. Tifa screamed in fright, and her piercing cries were warnings enough for the rest of their friends to be mindful and stay back. The sharpest bits sliced through Cloud’s clothes, and out of genuine fear, he ceased moving.

Frozen in place, another barrier soon slid down, seemingly out of thin air. Like its predecessor, this ‘door’ locked itself between Cloud and Cait Sith. Now, they were both separated from each other, and there was no way to go through or around the dangerous barrier.

Cloud attempted to kick at it, but when he did, a particularly pointy, sharp bit of glass burst forth, lodging itself in the tip of his footwear. If it sank any deeper, it would’ve caused greater damage to his flesh. Only a fool with a death wish would toy with this mechanism. Seeing as he didn’t understand the trick to it, he swiveled himself around as he shouted at Tifa and the rest of his friends in a sharp warning.

“Don’t touch this! Stay back!”

Cait Sith heard his shrill cries, but when Cloud turned about in the other direction, the creature displayed panic etched across his face. Bounding back up to the barrier separating himself from the golden-haired youth, he was mindful not to touch it, but he was clearly looking about for something.

Trying to lure in his attention, Cloud demanded harshly, “What’re you doing?!” With an adscititious snarl thrown into the mix, Cloud rasped, “It’s dangerous! Whole place is falling apart!”

Cait Sith had to agree. “Things are looking more frightening by the minute, here, and I don’t think I can make it out safely!” Wagging his finger when Cloud and Tifa especially began sputtering in the way of forming an argument, Cait Sith placated them as he stated, “Please! Don’t ever forget me, even if another Cait Sith comes along!” With that, the creature was off without a trace.

Worried beyond comprehension, Tifa shouted after him, while Barret roared, “Sit still, you freak! You’re our only hope and you’re leavin’?!”

As Barret and Tifa screamed repeatedly, Cloud’s rambunctious voice overpowered theirs. Obstreperously, the golden-haired youth bellowed, “We need to get ourselves out of here, first, then we can find him!”

“Right!” Nodding as she snapped to attention, Tifa pushed Barret about as she hissed aggressively, “Barret, see if you can blast through those rocks! That might be the trigger mechanism we need to get out of here!”

“On it!”

As loud blasts sounded from their containers, Cloud gazed ahead, holding a small prayer in his heart that the trenchant Cait Sith wouldn’t let them down. All their hopes rested on him, and for once in his life, Cloud wanted to break free of his confines; the emotional ones as opposed to the physical ones. Perhaps then he would be at peace as he felt he deserved.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Scuttling down the path, Cait Sith retreated to his memories of the layout and ‘map’ he’d known and heard of. The temple was shifting much too quickly, and he wasn’t sure for how much longer he could navigate and travel through the abominable mess. Too many security officers, beasts, monsters, as well as other warriors from various nations and groups had infiltrated the higher levels of the temple. It would only be a matter of time before they caught up to them.

Slapping a hand against his trusty megaphone, Cait Sith barked out bombastically for the robot to move faster. Water sloshed down onto his head, dripping from the pointed, dangerous stalactites. They glistened in a warning at him, and as his evaded them, he nearly tripped and ran over pointed stalagmites.

A few ant-like creatures attacked him, and strange insects which largely resembled centipedes crawled all about the temple walls, keeping their sights on him, each of their eyes shiny and malicious.

Disgusted, Cait Sith cried out sharply, “They’re coming out of the walls, man! They’re coming out of the god damn walls!” Ducking as an execrable centipede with a large wingspan flew at him, he yelped and placed the megaphone over his head like a shield. It worked to keep the oddities at bay, and the robot leapt over larger distances without flaw.

“Damn! Onward, I venture!” Bravely, as Cait Sith zoomed and ducked under narrow passageways, his sharp ears caught the sounds of someone gasping as if choking for air.

Pointing in the direction of where he assumed the noises were emanating from, he guided the robot toward them, wanting to check for any survivors and injured people since the temple collapse. Crossing over bumps and steep rises in the ground cautiously, he peered around as he held the megaphone to his lips, daring to cry out, when he heard heavy feet thudding and stomping right by his ears.

Crouching behind a mossy rock, his pointy, furry ears perked up, turning about in the direction of the footsteps. When they grew lower in volume and intensity, Cait Sith pressed the megaphone against his ear, straining and focusing on anything he could locate and hear. Whispers floated back to his auditory channel, and he frowned as he tried piecing together the words and maudlin phrases he caught.

Eyes widening as he found he recognized the voice of a young man panting and wheezing for help, he muttered to himself, “Tseng…the poor fool!” Shifting on top of the robot holding his weight up, he gazed around the large rock for any signs of the Turk leader, already suspecting the worst.

“Hang on, man! Hang on!”

Before he could leap ahead and dash to the rescue, a figure dressed in white knelt at Tseng’s side. Head bowed as blond wisps and tendrils of hair that were slightly filthy curtained his face, Rufus Shinra growled in vitriol as he stumbled upon his comrade. Cradling the Turk’s head in his hands, he shifted him away from the rocks, holding onto his hand as he gingerly pressed down for his pulse.

Eyes portraying crazed and distraught emotions, Rufus whined almost like a child, “Tseng, who did this? I’ll have their head for this!” Pressing his head down over the Turk’s chest, he paused as he listened for his heartbeat. Once he heard it faintly, he rasped in relief, “I’m going to carry you out of here, Tseng, hang on to me!”

Cait Sith’s jaw dropped in awe. He wanted to help, but he knew that the President’s son was already carrying Tseng away from where he’d fallen. His crimson blood trickled down onto the rubble and earth, the trail marked and mapped out as they disappeared beneath an alcove. Standing there on the spot, inert and frozen, Cait Sith numbly recalled his own duties.

Shaking his head and slapping himself in the cheek, he hissed, “Get it together! We must be on our way!” Trusting that the new President was more than capable of rescuing the leader of the Turks he respected and admired dearly, the furry feline re-shifted his focus on obtaining the despicable Black Materia. Time wasn’t on his side, and time was never kind. The race was already on, and while lives were in jeopardy, he knew he had to act quickly.

Zooming and zigzagging past the same rock he’d cowered behind not too long ago, as Cait Sith honorably returned to his duties, he failed to see two long legs standing right before himself. Nearly colliding with the boots head-on, he paused as he dipped his head back and glanced on up at the individual standing in his way.

Nervous immediately upon studying Sephiroth blocking his path, Cait Sith trembled before he composed himself. Straightening his form, holding his quivering limbs rigidly and locking them into place to appear larger and braver than he was, he held out the megaphone as though it were a deadly weapon and pointed it straight at Sephiroth.

“You fiend! Back off at once!”

Sephiroth’s illecebrous face was impassive, expressions completely undecipherable as he stared down at the threatening feline. This greatly annoyed Cait Sith, and he again took a step closer as he waved the megaphone wildly.

“Last warning! Back off, err, I mean, hand over the Black Materia, if you have it, first, and then you must back off!”

Not at all affected by the barbed words and ineloquence aimed at himself, Sephiroth slowly knelt before the moogle and Cait Sith. Eyebrows set thinly, he coyly drawled, “Lost it, then? Well…that’s just too bad.”

As Sephiroth advanced, with a strained whimper, Cait Sith retreated, but Sephiroth quickly held out a hand as he tried to stop the odd, inaniloquent thing.

Eyebrows rising slightly, he rasped, “Wait…I don’t wish to harm you.”

Skeptical as ever, Cait Sith roared aggressively, “Brimstone and gall, I don’t believe you! Where’s the Black Materia?!”

The robotic, short arms of the moogle clenched for a moment before they swiped at Sephiroth. All the former SOLDIER had to do to avoid them was to inch back, and he did as he peered seriously at Cait Sith.

Still not wanting to back down from the intimidating tactics, Cait Sith spat venomously, “Fine! Do not tell me! But prepare to die, same as I am prepared to die for honor and glory!” Following his aeolistic oath, he flexed his arms, sharp little fangs revealed beneath his lips as he lunged at Sephiroth. It was a foolish attempt when the warrior merely held onto the nape of the feline, stifling his cries with one stern glare.

Eyes narrowing pointedly, Sephiroth drew himself nearer to the small cat as he stated, “Don’t resist me; just listen.” When Cait Sith’s struggles completely dampened, Sephiroth nodded in mild, though savorless gratitude.

“Yes, very good. Consider this a warning for the foreseeable future events, but the temple itself _is_ the embodiment of the Black Materia.”

Gulping loudly, the exacerbated cat argued, “No it’s not! Lies!”

Eyelids weighing down as he nearly shut them due to a decrease in patience, Sephiroth condescendingly ground out, “If I were in the mood for games and lies, you’d already be dead.”

The vestiges of a threat blending into a foul promise again wrenched another strained sound from Cait Sith’s throat. It sounded akin to a choke, and Sephiroth frowned deeply at him after a moment of silence.

“The path you wish to take won’t end in your success, creature,” Sephiroth foretold as he bluntly threw in, “you’re going to die, but it won’t be for your vanity, I’m pleased to say.”

Snarling once the words settled in his brain, a fiery Cait Sith snapped ferociously, “What do you mean, you—”

Lips near his elongated, furry ear, Sephiroth whispered huskily, “Cloud Strife, is he alright? He was with you last time, was he not?” Peering intently at the odd creature, he repeated with clamancy rising and noticeable in his voice, “Cloud Strife…is he safe?”

Slowly, a rather knowing look ignited in the center of Cait Sith’s eyes. Nodding carefully, he answered shortly, “Aye, the golden-haired lad is well. But why do you care about—”

“Listen well. I will help you solve the rest of the delicate puzzles in this maze, free the others, and I will personally assure you that no harm will come to Avalanche.” Curtly bowing his head, Sephiroth concluded without a trace of an emotion lingering in his voice, “Don’t question me; just go on and remember that you aren’t dying for nothing.”

When his fingers loosened their hold on the tiny cat, Cait Sith pushed out almost breathlessly, “T-tell me why…tell me why, and I’ll end all this as soon as I can.”

A genuinely warm smile graced the way across Sephiroth’s lips, turning them up. Voice smooth like a pair of scissors cutting through silk, he purred, “I’m glad you asked; I have so much to tell you.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud pressed against the cold, damp stones beneath his feet, trying to feel for another pressure plate. Since Cait Sith’s departure, naturally, the bold youth and his friends were already setting to work themselves free. Putting their heads together and brainstorming had been quite difficult, especially considering how each little ‘chamber’ they were being held in differed vastly from the next.

In the end, when Tifa scraped her knee after Barret tried peeling and prying a few stones, only to reveal dangerous bugs crawling beneath, ready to attack and maim them, Cloud insisted that they sit still and wait for help. Barret wasn’t pleased with this, and he immediately resorted to calling Shinra and the army a bunch of ‘bastard pig cowards’.

As much as Cloud agreed with that statement, it wasn’t going to help them get out of the temple’s traps anytime soon. Searching for his own way out, he peered around the shiny, glass shards, tempted to push at one or many in a specific pattern. There was always a knack to these things, no?

Gingerly, he tested the pointy bit to his right, and then moved to the one on the left. Nothing happened, so he reversed the pattern. Again and again, there wasn’t a single result that bore fruit, and Cloud felt peevish. Anything he did had no impact, and he was growing frustrated. He took to counting back from one hundred, but he barely made it to seventy when he saw shadows reflecting in the glassy tomb he’d been sealed in.

Leaning himself forward so he could squint ahead, it took Cloud immense concentration before he determined confidently that he was looking at two men rather than one. They were merged to form a giant shape, and he assumed the light had been playing tricks on his mind. Waiting for whomever or whatever it was to lurk by, Cloud zeroed in on the shapes, and when he heard a steady ‘dripping’ sound, he gazed down to the ground.

Dark liquid seeped down from the shape, and it looked quite caliginous and obscure. Hoping it wasn’t blood, Cloud peered on at the limping shape, trying to make out just what it was. His brain fired off alarm bells, and he felt compelled to cry out. Yes, he needed to grab this thing’s attention so he could free himself and his friends, but he also wondered if this was someone injured…

Tseng…was it Tseng?!

Kicking at the only part of the glass wall with deadly shards, Cloud monstrously cried until his throat burned. “Hey! Wait! Wait a minute! Hello!!”

The figure froze, and as it paused in its movement, Barret and Tifa gazed at it, as well. Assessing it carefully, Tifa also soon joined in as she shouted and waved her arms about frantically as though she’d been trying to raise flags for the world to see. Barret wasn’t as trusting, however, and he stepped beside Tifa as he sneered acerbically.

“Well, well,” he huffed as he shook his head, clearly less than thrilled, “I spy with my little eye, two _dicks_.”

Rufus Shinra was carrying Tseng over his back. Wincing as he tried supporting both his own weight and the unconscious Turk’s, he froze as he craned his neck and head in the direction of the tapped Avalanche members in their confines.

Snorting crudely, Rufus snarled as he held onto his comrade. “Good, a fitting end for you lot, I see. If only I had the chance to _really_ bid you all the farewell you deserve and are owed…” Perversely, he grinned at Cloud, who glared resolutely back. While Barret unleashed a string of colorful epithets, Rufus’ eyes landed on Cloud’s.

The way in which the new President’s greedy eyes devoured every inch of Cloud’s body, undressing him and violating him one limb and one body member at a time left the adolescent feeling even more infuriated and pressed for lashing out unforgivingly.

Taking sudden interest in the blonde peering hatefully at himself, Rufus sauntered closer to Cloud. Huffing from exertion, he nodded sharply at the youth as he suggested, “I may be able to help you, but only on the condition that you leave your friends behind.” With a lecherously malicious grin, he rasped, “Can you do that for me?”

Defiantly, Cloud kicked and then spat at the glass, wishing instead that his saliva could’ve landed in Rufus’ arrogant eyes.

Chuckling though he wasn’t at all overjoyed or amused, Rufus hung his head and closed his eyes in abject defeat. As he did, upon gaining a second, closer look at the older male, Cloud suddenly realized how exhausted and worn out he appeared. Skin marred, bruised, and cut in many areas, his uniform filthy, muddied, torn, and singed, Rufus truly had fallen from grace. If he weren’t such a disgusting, deplorable being, Cloud supposed he would’ve pitied him, really.

Glaring in disappointment and unfathomably potent rage at Cloud for his insolence, Rufus raised his head and turned his nose up snobbishly. “Very well, then; I have my answer.” With a curt, sarcastic bow aimed at being nothing but cruel and mocking, he hissed, “Goodbye, I truly do hope you can all make it out…for whatever it’s worth.” 

As Rufus spun around and began departing, Barret roared as he kicked and stomped aggressively in rage. “Wait till I get my ass outta here! I’m gonna—”

BANG!

To say that an explosion had gone off somewhere beneath their level was an understatement of the damn century. A volcano, earthquake, and an entire shifting of the universe had to have occurred right then and there. This was more than the Shinra army creating explosions from outside; this was from within.

Dust and debris flew about, the ground shook, and even a few shards of the glass trapping Cloud broke off due to the intensity of the tremors. As he considered ducking and covering his head to shield himself should more dangerous bits of glass rain down on himself, the barriers magically had been lifted. Even the tiny chamber holding Barret and Tifa had opened, the door sliding down into the ground and disappearing.

Barret gasped in shock, and Tifa scowled at Rufus. “What did you do?”

He glumly looked at the ground as he spat, “That wasn’t me. I do think, however, someone got their hands on something they shouldn’t have…”

That statement didn’t explicate anything, but it didn’t need to. Simultaneously, Cloud and Tifa screeched, “Cait Sith!”

Snorting as he stared Rufus up and down as though he were still a threat, Barret testily hissed, “Well, looks like I get to kick your ass after all, you sorry sack of—” His untimely interruption arrived when Red headbutted him from behind rather roughly, sending him stumbling a few inches.

Spinning around madly, Barret growled perilously under his breath, “The hell’s wrong with you, Red?! Can’t you see I was tryin’ to handle some well due business?”

Saucily, the animal fired back with a snarl, “And can’t _you_ see that the explosions have sent the levels of this temple collapsing? We don’t have time for your unfettered bullshit!”

Tifa was already viciously set on attacking Rufus. Standing before him and blocking his path before he could walk away, she demanded vitriolically, “Help us find Aerith! Now!”

As Rufus peered down past her, Red and Barret drew closer, forming a large ‘wall’ of sorts, effectively preventing Rufus from going anywhere.

Stepping up to him, Tifa pleaded emotionally, “Please, if you help us this time, maybe we can all get out of here alive.”

Eyes darting from left to right, Rufus’ thoughts were worn on his face. He portrayed and presented so much of what he was going through. Pain, anguish, suffering, turmoil, disgust, fear, trepidation, and then hope. They all flitted on his face, and he seemed so human for the first time since Cloud had seen him in the helicopter when he’d attacked Sector 7.

Finally, when the sounds of screaming, swords clashing, as well as rocks crumbling and sliding down hit his ears, Rufus gazed at Cloud over his shoulder. “I saw her, but I can’t do anything for her. I’m sorry.”

Jaw practically hitting the ground, Cloud dashed ahead and fisted a hand in the collar of Rufus’ filthy jacket. Yanking him close, he didn’t care how much shorter he was compared to this man, and he didn’t give a damn about their abhorrent past. Right now, Aerith’s safety was all he’d been concerned about, and if it meant he had to beat the daylights out of Rufus to obtain succinct information and his assistance, he wouldn’t even falter to do so.

Shaking the President by the wrist with a free hand, Cloud strongly inquired, “Where is Aerith? You take us to her, now, else I will personally make the rest of your life a living hell!”

The threat didn’t matter between them, and they both understood that. Cloud sensed fully well that Rufus wasn’t going to hurt him or his friends even before the older male opened his mouth to declare such.

Hanging his head in a move of shame and throwing Cloud a penitent gaze, Rufus whispered so their delphically strained secret would only live and carry on between the two of them. “I’m sorry for what I tried to do to you, before. I was ignorant…in many ways, I still am, and I don’t know if I can make amends for it or right my wrongs.”

Seething as he felt his last nerve giving out, Cloud’s teeth ground over each other as his lower jaw slammed up onto the upper one, making his teeth clatter loudly. “Wanna make it up to me, ass?” he taunted aggressively, nodding before Rufus irritably. “Show me where Aerith is, she better be _alive_ , and I don’t want to hear the rest of your excuses for as long as we’re both living.”

Nodding in agreement, Barret inched up to Cloud, standing supportively next to him as he too glared down at the President. “Got that, bucko?” Waving a hand, he laughed contemptuously, “Or did ya need me to _drill_ it into your thick head?”

Rufus had already grasped the threat and the concept. Gripping Tseng tightly, he grunted and grit his teeth as he turned and pointed behind himself. “She is past the sacrificial chambers and rooms holding all the materia. I saw her kneeling before an altar next to a golden room. You shouldn’t be able to miss it if you keep your eyes open; there are large, thick streams of mako running beneath the old altar, and the area itself is right beneath the entrance to the Forgotten City.”

Cloud gaped, “That’s how far along this temple goes?” He personally hadn’t ventured to the Forgotten City, before, but he’d heard of the location through tales and legends. This was a city for the Ancients, more specifically, it was _the_ City of the Ancients…

Scratching the back of his head, Barret inquired skeptically, “How will we find her in this mess?”

Rufus sarcastically droned, “I said you have to keep your eyes open.” Tossing a cutting sneer especially in Barret’s direction, he added curtly, “I suggest removing those shades, seeing as you’re deaf and can’t rely on the powers of your hearing all that well.”

Before Barret could lunge ahead and attack Rufus, Tifa held him back as she gently asked the young President, “Why didn’t you try to help her?”

Calmly, Rufus answered, “I couldn’t even approach; there was some sort of protective shield or barrier magic warding the entire area.” Peering up at Tseng hanging over his shoulder, he supplied delicately, “Besides, I have other matters that demand my energy and attention, and I’m through wasting my time on you lot.”

Straightening himself, Barret murmured bitingly, “Looks like this is all we’ll get outta this jackass, Tifa; let’s keep movin’!”

Already, Cloud was far ahead of them. Pairing up with Red, he moved along in the direction Rufus had pointed out, hoping that the nefarious man wasn’t leading them to their ultimate and untimely doom. Barret and Tifa fell in line behind him, but as their boots scraped along the hardened earth, Rufus whispered something under his breath to Cloud.

Pausing swiftly and allowing his friends to go on ahead of himself, the younger male waited as he repeated the words in his mind. He couldn’t make much sense out of them due to the chaos and terrifyingly loud noises. Turning himself around halfway, he coldly scowled at Rufus Shinra. The older male merely smiled, but it wasn’t as malicious and sinister as it’d always been, previously.

Weakly and dejectedly, he again reiterated the very same words Cloud thought he’d heard.

“I’m sorry for everything. I hope you can one day forgive me, but I won’t ask for your forgiveness just yet.”

As he disappeared in the thick shadows, Cloud wondered if he would ever be able to forgive Rufus, as well. Perhaps there would arrive a day for everyone to turn over a new leaf…all in good time.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Cloud wasn’t ignorant or oblivious. He knew that Sephiroth wasn’t above placing a barrier surrounding the place in which Aerith was being kept. Was he trapping her there to do his bidding, however? Or was he protecting her?

Cloud had to consider these reasons and theories. Sephiroth had indeed protected and rescued his team in the past. However, had that only been for his own personal gain, in the end, or was it because he’d truly changed?

Irritably, Cloud was truly torn in every direction. It wasn’t unlike Sephiroth to reel him in, toy with his feelings and emotions, only to spit him out later and discard him. Perhaps he’d been doing a similar thing by keeping Aerith from the team…everything that had transpired between them was now questionable, and Cloud was approaching Sephiroth’s motives with a grain of salt.

Only the truth in the presence of time would solve all his problems, answer his questions, and either flourish his doubts or lay them to rest. Time and truths were unbiased and held no judgement. His heart was already landing himself and his friends into too much trouble, and he didn’t want to give in to whatever it was he still felt for Sephiroth.

Along the dreary path shrouded and encompassed in darkness was the occasional ripple and ray of light bouncing off the walls and ceiling from the coursing Lifestream flowing and running throughout the temple. It made Cloud feel sick with grief and worry. They were closing in on Aerith’s location, and already, he had nausea running all through his system. He was feeling frightened, and though he tried battling against it, he was already assuming that the worst had happened to both Sephiroth and Aerith.

The scales hadn’t even been tipped; they were horribly imbalanced. Cloud wanted for Sephiroth to be fine and safe as much as he did with Aerith. The abnormality of his strange feelings however didn’t stop him from sensing tension weighing down over himself. It began like a psychological impact brewing from the back of his skull to the front. It wasn’t a headache he was experiencing, however.

The tightness in his lungs and the pressure thickened, his features became pallescent, and he was losing time. They were far too deep down within the temple, and the air pressure was getting to everyone equally. Red panted with his tongue lolling out, Barret swayed and staggered, and Tifa began whimpering softly. They were confused as they lost track of their way, but in time, they espied golden rooms bearing and holding treasures and jewels.

Skirting past them as Rufus had instructed, as Cloud drew himself closer, his arm began hurting. It was the left one, too; the one bearing the Geostigma. This had to be the workings of the bond; he didn’t even need to hear or see traces of Sephiroth to know that his bond-mate was relatively close…and he was in pain.

This was the ultimate burning impetus to push Cloud along faster. Abandoning Red, he tore away forward. His ribs hurt from the force of the magic. It was mostly invisible, but the barrier became more evident when he reached the large, open dome. Streams of potent light were coruscating brilliantly from the open sky. It targeted the barrier brilliantly, glowing and shining in a rather unique, lovely way.

Unfortunately, all feelings and experiences of beauty disappeared swiftly when Cloud caught the electrically stunning flash of the barrier growing as it swept across the expansive open area. The air here was rife with a stale, potent stench of danger despite the open night air pooling down on their heads.

Squinting through the nearly invisible walls barricading them from Aerith, Cloud gazed on ahead as intently as he could while holding an arm up to shield his eyes from the blinding light. He couldn’t see much, but only at first. The minor setback didn’t prevent Cloud or his friends from winding through the passageway once they too spotted Aerith. 

Thankfully, the young woman wasn’t hurt, but she was definitely out of sorts. She was kneeling right before a dip in the earth, right beneath the light cascading down over her head, hands clamped together tightly as she hung her head down in obeisance.

…No, in prayer! She was imperviously concentrated in her prayer!

Her hair nearly fell in messy tendrils out of her braid and ponytail, but she was steadfast in her mission as her lips began flapping and moving rapidly. Aerith was deeply concentrating, and she wasn’t even able to sense or hear her friends. When Tifa screamed out to her, she didn’t so much as even budge.

Fearful beyond explanation, Tifa nudged Barret roughly. “Barret! Get her out of there, now!”

A strong gust of air blew in their faces as the burly man tried stepping forward. It almost knocked everyone back, and for a moment, Cloud assumed it was the temple caving down again. His next thought had been that it possibly was the Whispers at work again, but they weren’t in sight. He couldn’t even sense them near; they always had a strange, raspy, whining sort of sound emitted whenever they whisked by him, but not a trace of that noise was to be found.

With these logical reasons now eliminated completely, Cloud mentally prepared himself for the harsh explanation that they weren’t able to cross over and through the barrier because Sephiroth didn’t want them to.

Mightily, Barret roared for Aerith, but before he could again charge forth blindly, Cloud stretched his arm out and prevented his ruthful friend from going anywhere.

“Don’t,” Cloud demurred as he aimed not to be demeaning or disparaging in an overly hurtful manner. Nodding over at Aerith still doggedly praying, he pointed to strange orbs and twinkling lights peppering the air around her, floating down into the ravine of mako surging beneath the temple.

“She’s doing something, but we can’t all go in guns blazing,” the blonde explicated as he immediately began forming another plan. “We have to help her, but I think there’s some really strong magic warding us all off, and no amount of physical strength will get past it!”

As they’d been studying the barrier and perimeter of the room for any clues, soft pattering sounded next to Cloud. As the determined young man gazed down, he let out a surprised gasp once he saw Cait Sith bounding next to himself and glaring angrily ahead past the barrier.

“H-hey, a-are you okay?” Shaken, Cloud cleared his throat as he stated, “We thought something bad happened to you!”

Beaming at the feline, Tifa added, “We’re so glad you’re alright!”

Proudly, the tiny being huffed as he planted his hands firmly on his hips, exposing his white, soft belly. “I told you! I may die, of course, but never forget me! Another Cait Sith has come along, and he will fare better!”

No one knew what he was talking about, and Barret reacted the worst as he jabbed a thumb in the creature’s direction rudely. “Did ja hit your head or somethin’?”

“Never mind that!” Cait Sith pointed through the barrier as he announced, “No one can get through; even I can’t, now…”

Frustrated and completely annoyed with all the cowardly displays, Cloud took it upon himself to step up to the task. Teeth grinding together as he inched forward, he felt as though his legs weighed a thousand pounds each, and that he’d just recently learned to walk. Grunting and groaning as he drew near the semi-invisible barrier, he felt his flesh tingling and burning with odd pain. Thankfully, it wasn’t too intense, but it became more apparent the closer he got.

Pressing a gloved hand right up against the barrier, Cloud had almost expected to be shocked and blasted backward into the air for even trying to touch it. However, that never happened. He glanced down at his friends when things seemed ‘safe’, and he gave them all an assuring nod.

Moistening his lips with his tongue quickly, he hissed, “I’m going to go in and grab her…you guys just cover my back, okay?”

Tifa began losing herself to concern as she rasped and cried out emotionally, “Cloud! No! We’re all going in together!”

Sternly, Cloud repeated, “No! I can do this!” Mentally, his mind echoed, _‘I need to do this…alone.’_

Forlornly, he knew he wanted to deal with Sephiroth, though completely alone. If he was going to see this through, then he wanted to be the only person there for when it happened as opposed to allowing Barret to shoot at anything that moved or made a sound.

With one final glance back over his shoulder at his friends, his eyes met Red’s, first, and he gave the creature a small smirk. Next, he looked at Barret and mused aloud, “You know what, Barret? Tryin’ to imagine you without those shades, and I gotta say, you _do_ look better with your eyes covered up.”

Barret returned the small smile as he chuckled warmly at the joke. “Thanks, asshole.”

Finally, Cloud glanced in Tifa’s direction. She was almost weeping, and he knew it from the way the tip of her nose was pink, and her nostrils flared. Her pain had already started to ebb down into quiet misery and concern for his sake. Knowing her for as long as he had, Cloud saw all the signs there visible on her face, no matter how hard she tried shielding that.

Approaching her slowly and carefully due to the force of the barrier pushing and shoving around in his head and ears, even his skull felt like a large balloon resting on his shoulders. Painfully, almost, he pressed himself close to Tifa as he held an arm out for her.

Silently, she fell into him and gave him the biggest, warmest hug he’d received from her since the night he had to soothe and comfort her in Aerith’s garden. This time, however, she didn’t weep while in his embrace; she was strong and silent, her will and resolve bold and powerful. Cloud felt renewed and empowered spiritually and mentally just by holding her, and he returned the embrace just as tightly and passionately. Weaving his arms about her slender frame, he slowly drew back as his eyes met hers confidently.

Giving her a reassuring smile, he nodded as he promised gently, “I’ll be okay, don’t worry. I’m a survivor, right?”

The mantra was more so to comfort himself right before he took a risk and wandered into unknown, uncharted territories, but together, all the members of Avalanche and his closest, dearest friends whispered canorously back at him.

“You got this, Cloud, you got this.”

_‘I’ve got this, I’ve got this…I’ve definitely got this!’_

With nothing else held back, Cloud urged himself to push on through, and he wriggled close to the mystical barrier.


	43. Black Feathers

He knew he’d breached the protective ward sealed with magic when a strange mixture of hot and cold temperatures eased into his skin like tiny needles. The hairs on his body rose substantially, and he felt his throat burning and tingling. Though Cloud didn’t cough, his eyes watered, and his nose experienced the same ordeal anyone’s would right before the need to sneeze affected an individual. The hot and cold sensations kept him company as he turned to the side and noticed that he’d transcended his own fears and clearly crossed the threshold.

Barret, Red, Tifa, and Cait Sith were on edge, poised and hardly even shifting an inch while they peered at him with hope and fascination growing in their bright eyes.

_‘I’m on the other side, now…’_

Strange…this didn’t appear as malicious or odious here as he’d initially thought. Aerith hadn’t moved from her original spot, and while she knelt and chanted to herself, the materia stored in her hair hidden away from prying eyes glistened and gleamed at Cloud, as if beckoning and challenging him to come nearer…

She was so close! He estimated that it would require covering about ten or so feet worth of a distance, and he’d have her in his grasp!

Vying to cross over and make the journey, Cloud inhaled fresh oxygen into his lungs. That had been the ‘magical’ elixir his body required to feel refreshed. Whatever magic was at foot, here, it was draining his energy rapidly. It acted like a giant vacuum, sucking and seeping away the oxygen before coldness remained in its wake. Cloud wondered how Aerith was here tolerating it as she prayed diligently.

What was she even praying for? What could she hope to do?

Lifting his heavy, stone-like legs before they locked into place, Cloud gazed at Aerith as she muttered to herself while perched before an ancient-looking batholith. It was massive, and as he got close enough to it, he noticed odd carvings and symbols etched into the colossal rock.

Wanting to shake Aerith out of her daze, his right hand crept along the air a few inches away from her small back. As his fingers trembled and descended, right before he could initiate any form of physical contact, a force moved him back gently.

Cloud skidded across the stone-covered ground, boots sliding and screeching in a complaint as he fell back a few feet. Aerith hadn’t noticed or heard it, and she continued her chanting and praying, eyes closed and clenched even tighter as she inhaled and exhaled softly.

What was this, then?!

Gazing up as he tilted his head back to glare at the skylight, Cloud found he couldn’t even see the stars, but he _did_ notice the darkness of the night bearing down in a suffocating manner. It was blinding and rapturous; a night without stars, a future without hope…how easy would it be to just concede the point and admit that perhaps they had no chance?

Perhaps this wasn’t a war to be won. Maybe he couldn’t save them…maybe, and quite unfortunately, he couldn’t even save himself…

While Aerith continued to pray to herself, the rays akin to the ones the moon would produce cascaded down like a waterfall, giving the young female a luminescent glow. Her hair was as shiny as the glassy surface of a pond, and the White Materia winked almost furtively at Cloud. He was facing it, now, and while it was a few inches away from his fingers when he got close enough, he thought of how dangerous it could be if it fell into the wrong hands, just as much as the forsaken Black Materia…

Had this been what Aerith was after all this time? Was she somehow sacrificing herself or putting her own life in jeopardy for their sake? For the sake of humanity?

How selfless was this girl?

Shaken out of his own stupor that threatened to drown him, attrition descended upon himself in the form of a light breeze billowing past his ears. Before Cloud had a chance to even react, Aerith’s voice increased in volume, and she prayed with intense focus he’d never seen before.

Cloud wanted to get her out of there. Gaia was still moving, of course, but for some reason, he felt it through his bones. He’d never felt something like this, but the planet was indeed experiencing a traumatic effect. Above the altar, a giant quasar had opened, the portal practically peeking down right at Aerith as she’d positioned herself beneath it. The ground rattled for a moment dangerously, and tiny rocks slid down from the top of the temple in every direction.

The warning had been received well by Cloud, but Aerith was still praying. Nothing seemed to break her out of it. When the wind howled and whipped about brutally, she didn’t pay attention. When small gravel tumbled and scratched along the ground, growing even closer to her, she gave her all as the White Materia shined in time with her lips fluttering so beautifully.

As serene as it all was, Cloud was becoming concerned by the portal-like quasar about to consume everything in sight. The greedy form lingered dangerously close to the temple, and he had to wonder if it would devour them in one go.

Setting his mind back on the task of interrupting Aerith, he’d almost touched the soft hair on the back of her head, when he felt someone prying himself away from Aerith abruptly. The motion wasn’t rough or violent, but the arm wrapped itself about his waist, almost cradling him protectively before his back touched someone’s broad, sturdy chest.

Dipping his head back, Cloud peeked up beyond his eyelashes at whoever had tugged him away from his friend. The curious gaze in his mako-colored eyes soon fell into a disgusted scowl of utter contempt as he stared at Sephiroth.

Rather than reacting to the scathing glare he’d been on the receiving end of, Sephiroth peered right at Aerith’s back. Eyebrows set in a rigid line, he narrowed his eyes slightly, lips pursed before he whispered dryly, “If you interrupt her, now, you’ll risk killing her, as well as us all.”

Cloud froze as the advice and hidden warning slowly settled into his disturbed conscience. He couldn’t fathom how that could be possible, and for a moment, he considered that Sephiroth was yet again toying with him and using his ignorance for his own personal gain.

Defiantly, he refuted shrewdly, “I’m sure you’d say anything like that to prevent me from saving someone I care about, but I don’t have time for this shit anymore, Sephiroth.” Forcing himself to tear his eyes off his bond-mate, Cloud fervently tried pressing on, but the strength had seeped out of himself once more beyond his own comprehension.

When he dared to press on and struggle against the source shoving his torso back, his gloves began withering away. It was as though they were rotting away; they crumbled and dissolved when he stepped forward, and when he gazed down at his fingertips peeking out from the tips of the worn gloves, he saw them turning bright pink.

Yelping when it burned badly, he moved away and stood next to Sephiroth. Cradling his left hand, he hissed in shock, “What’re you doing to me?!”

“I told you; fighting against this will only kill us all.” Sephiroth stared emptily at Aerith’s turned back as he sadly wheezed out, “That protective spell she’s using is one you shouldn’t challenge, as it is only performed by the Ancients when they’re up against the last defense.” Smirking, he coolly remarked, “She’s trying to save you, you know.”

Heart about to explode in his chest due to the execrable trepidation overwhelming himself, Cloud roared, “Then help me get to her!” Shaking Sephiroth as he hooked and dug his fingers into his flesh through his uniform, he wailed from the top of his lungs like a trapped beast, “Sephiroth! What is she even doing?!”

Eyebrows rising elegantly on his brow ridge, Sephiroth, completely detached, murmured, “She’s praying and summoning Holy.”

“And this…Holy…it’s going to help us?” He had an inkling as to how and why; the White Materia she wore in her hair and had been seeking after was to be used for such a deed. The White Materia would no doubt invoke Holy.

Cloud sensed tension rising in the air like thick smoke. Somewhere, a ‘but’ should’ve already been spoken, though Sephiroth was elusive. He merely strode before his junior, hands resting at his sides, Masamune nowhere in sight. Cloud looked for it, and as his eyes ran about the large, open room, Cloud remembered what Sephiroth had said to him earlier before the temple collapsed.

Stammering it out, he pressed on with difficulty as he sternly scowled at his bond-mate. “You…y-you said that Holy can’t stop Meteor…I remember those words…were you l-lying to me?” He was already taking umbrage with Sephiroth’s numerous cases of deception and trickery, so much that he felt inundated and discombobulated to the point where anger and frustration couldn’t even rear their ugly heads.

_‘Sephiroth, were you lying to me, again?’_

What was the point of getting angry and lashing out if it was all said and done?

In the heavy silence, Aerith’s soothing voice bounced off the walls and hit Cloud’s ears. Once again, he glared ahead, and as he peeked around the altar, columns, ceiling, and the various, clipped tombstones, he found the Masamune lying right across the altar itself. 

How had he missed it the first time?! It was practically right under Aerith’s nose!

…But did Sephiroth intend to be using it?

Scrambling over his disoriented thoughts, Cloud’s emotional state soon became upheaved. Heart and feelings in a disarray, he wondered what he could do in order to extricate both himself as well as his friend from the dangerous situation. If he moved forward to touch Aerith, he feared his flesh and bones would melt away due to the force of the magic. If he interfered, perhaps Sephiroth was being truthful, and perhaps he would endanger not only Aerith, but the entire world.

How could he have that on his shoulders and conscience to stomach through? The cumbersome guilt had already eaten away at himself for far too long, and now, he had everything to lose.

A husky voice crawled into his ear, playing with his hair like a spider crawling over his feverish flesh. “Time’s short, Cloud. What will you do?”

Clenching his fists and grinding his teeth together, Cloud began battling through his thick tears muddling his vision. “If you care about me, you’ll help me…if you _ever_ gave a damn…”

Squeezing Sephiroth’s right hand almost instinctively, Cloud peered down at the limb. The absence of the beaded bracelet he’d fashioned for Sephiroth couldn’t be found, there. That hurt. He wanted and needed to see his bond-mate’s wrist adorned with the special gift, the wondrous embellishment he’d designed for him…for their memories…

Leaning up against the older male, Cloud ignored how from his peripheral vision, he caught Barret’s jaw dropping open so widely that Tifa had to nudge him out of his stupor.

_‘Let the world see. I don’t care, anymore.’_

Sephiroth was deliberately avoiding eye contact. Cloud snuck a finger beneath his chin, turning his head around so they were almost facing one another.

“Sephiroth, look at me…just tell me the truth…” Abhorred by how desperate and young he sounded, he swallowed down his pride and worries as he pleadingly gazed at the one man he’d grown to care for beyond anything else in the world.

“Did you ever care about me? About us?”

 _‘Did you ever love me the way I’ve loved you, Sephiroth?’_ He must’ve somehow pushed his mental questions to Sephiroth. It channeled through, somehow, and the older male’s breath hitched in his throat. Had Cloud not been so close to Sephiroth in every way possible, had he not known just who his closest companion was, he would’ve otherwise missed this miniscule, yet highly crucial detail.

Latching onto it as hope, however fleeting it was, Cloud sought Sephiroth’s eyes. Precisely when the silver-haired ex-SOLDIER had even turned his head all the way was unknown, but Cloud’s gut unclenched, and his heart relaxed the moment their eyes finally met.

He nearly smiled…

Remembering his gift, Cloud reached into his pocket. Fishing out the marble bracelet, he gently eased it and rolled the object over Sephiroth’s right wrist. Surprisingly, the older warrior allowed him to do so, merely tracing and following Cloud’s motions with his eyes. A look of total loss and defeat flew over his visage when Cloud stood back and gaped up at Sephiroth.

He’d never seen the One Winged Angel looking so pained and broken, before…it hurt to witness this. It was cutting, jarring, and it clawed into his heart and coiled around it as though the muscle had been encased in barbed wire.

Clutching at his chest, he wheezed faintly, “Sephiroth…I…I l-lo—”

His interruption unfortunately had arrived when the ground shook again. The waves and invisible sources of power surrounding them nearly picked both men off their feet. Cloud clung to Sephiroth, blinking back tears of confusion and misery. He didn’t even have the slightest of ideas what was happening, or even how to stop it.

Sephiroth snarled angrily, eyes set on Aerith’s back. His Masamune rattled as the blade rutted against the stony altar while the tremors and deleterious shifting of the ground and earth traveled up and down their legs right to their brains. Cloud was concerned, Sephiroth was pondering something, and Aerith remained doggedly praying. As she did, the intensity and potent rays of the quasar emitted forth, morphing and shaping to surround Aerith specifically, as if targeting her.

Whether or not the force held malicious intent for her was immaterial to the young woman. She _was_ dedicated to sacrificing herself, and Cloud hated that Sephiroth had again been correct in his assertions.

Inhaling a sharp, frustrated breath, Cloud urgently shouted, “Someone’s gotta stop her, and if you won’t do it, then I will, and I don’t give a damn if I die because of it!”

Charging ahead, the rays and invisible rays soon shoved him back, but he persisted. Clawing through the air at the unseen, Cloud struggled and fought, but his progress was quite risible. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere, and he hated that he knew Sephiroth held more sway and power yet was choosing to do nothing.

Damn him.

Stiff and rigid like a statue, Sephiroth mordantly threw out, “You have a choice, Cloud. It is up to you to make the best one, but I can’t promise that the outcome will be the one you really desire.” Severely, he distanced and shielded himself from his young bond-mate as he sternly spat out, “Choose.”

Cold, callous, cruel, ruthless. Those were the only descriptive words his brain supplied, but they never made it to his mouth. Shielding his hands around his face, Cloud ground out harshly, “I can do this, with or without you. Don’t _you_ also have a choice, Sephiroth?”

Veneer bilious and stern, the despised One Winged Angel explicated smoothly, “I’m not the one others are relying on, right now.”

This pressure was beyond unnecessary. Already, he’d gone through plenty of painful ordeals, he’d given enough, he’d cut and chipped away at his emotions, his own chance at happiness, and his hopes. What more did the universe expect from him? He was still but a child…

Not giving credence to whether he sounded like a spoiled brat, Cloud bemoaned, “I d-don’t have anything left…I feel…” Patting his sternum and the spot over his heart, he noticed how the muscle had slowed down exponentially. “I feel like I’ve already died so many times.”

The slightest widening of Sephiroth’s eyelids followed by the easily unnoticeable motion of his Adam’s Apple bobbing up, and then floating down indicated that whatever Cloud had said truly cut him. Quivering and trembling as though someone had violently shaken and electrocuted him, Sephiroth nervously and timorously hissed and writhed about.

“I…I know w-what th-that’s like…I really d-do…” Reduced to a stammering, awkward shell of his formerly confident, brazen, almighty warrior-self, Sephiroth growled as he shifted away from Cloud. Treating the youth as if he were diseased and a source of a contagious infection, he held an arm out between their bodies and created far too much distance.

Cloud didn’t approve of it. Swiftly closing the infernal gap, he once again serenely and sweetly begged with benevolence, “Sephiroth…you can help me…remember you said we could do our best together?” Wetness across his face in the form of tears rolling down from the corners of his eyes weren’t even an issue, anymore. He didn’t care who saw him weeping; he wasn’t as strong as he’d thought.

Glaring at his open palms which trembled worse than the lands before an earthquake, Sephiroth muttered under his breath his admission, “Jenova…Jenova called forth Meteor…using my essence…th-through my power…Jenova…it was Jenova all along…”

Unable to hold himself back, Cloud choked out messily, “J-Jenova doesn’t—”

Hurtling past his words and emotions, Sephiroth fervidly hissed, “Gaia’s in danger, yes, but Gaia’s Shadow will rid the world of this foul entity.” Shaking terribly, his eyes seemed to water and grow pink as he whispered perhaps more to himself, “Forget the Formless One and the Pure Ones…forget it…”

There was no room for doubt, even though Cloud had never heard of ‘Gaia’s Shadow’, or anything in the term of a ‘Formless One’. Despite the oddities and tenuous connections, Cloud believed and trusted his lover’s words. He’d long since learned how to read through Sephiroth’s obvious lies and obvious truths. Perhaps the bond had inflated these feelings, but whatever the explanation and rational reasoning happened to be, it was immaterial, now.

When he gazed at Sephiroth arching his back and then bending his spine as he curled into himself woefully and pitifully, he knew there was truth. Sephiroth was no longer putting on a show. The airs and graces, the dapper appeal, the suave and glamorous mystery hovering about himself as he went about his ways and plans encased and shrouded in smokes and mirrors, it was all gone. Like the veils curtaining and branching off between one’s face, the vestiges of his sanity were slowly returning to himself. 

What could one do? He abhorred seeing someone he loved so dearly suffering, and he despised himself for being so powerless and worthless not to be able to comfort and support his bond-mate. Frustration pooled within himself, but Cloud silently observed as his senior bond-mate finally stirred.

Between his antagonizing, self-inflicted pain, Sephiroth wandered around Cloud, dragging his feet along in his wake. It was a bizarre way to move about, but as Cloud had initially suspected, the older male indeed had the power to trek onward.

Resilience and deep-seated hatred swam over Sephiroth’s handsome visage. Lips curled back, myrtle eyes squinting and narrowed, the feral look that sat on his features didn’t bode well for Cloud, but he’d found it wasn’t important…not when Sephiroth stretched his fingers, glared ahead at his weapon, and it came magically flying through the air. Rapidly, the telekinetic powers its owner had unleashed were successful in helping to guide the Masamune right into the palm of Sephiroth’s wide hand.

Firmly gripping the handle of the deadly weapon, Cloud didn’t miss how Sephiroth’s wrist trembled unsteadily as he wielded the blade in his left hand. Cloud’s stomach plummeted as nausea swept through his system. Trepidation held him back, but not for long. His lips were moving, and his throat burned as he took half a step closer to Sephiroth.

“Wh-what are you g-going to do?”

More fidgeting emanated from Sephiroth, the shiny blade creating light as it bounced back up the walls when the bright moon shone down onto it. Finally, after an antagonizing age, Sephiroth looked up at him, deep sadness resonating in his sharp eyes.

“I release you,” Sephiroth blurted in a quiet, painful whisper. Wounded internally as much as his young partner, the tall male again breathed in malcontent, “It’s my will to release you, and here I stand completely, with nothing else left.”

For Cloud, the world had ceased spinning; life itself had been deviously paused, and icy cold turmoil ran over himself like a train from the bowels of hell, itself. The hopes and dreams he’d once held fell from his conscience and like glass, smashed into pieces on the stone floor. He was rapidly vacillating between consciousness and unconsciousness, all because of the impact of the words spoken.

Silence reigned.

Cloud only stared at his bond-mate in shock, unable to find his strength to react. How was he supposed to, anyway? Sephiroth’s words had completely torn his heart right out of his rib cage, and his soul clean from his body.

“I release you from this soul bond, Cloud Strife. May you find happiness, live a long life, and may you keep me in your memories, for all time,” the downtrodden One Winged Angel whispered before dropping his gaze once again.

Cloud felt a tingle creeping along his system and then a small snap. No! No, Sephiroth wasn’t saying what he feared the older male was…he couldn’t be…

His heart thrummed in panicked blasts as his chest tightened. Breathing was an issue when he was already on the cusp of having a panic attack of sorts, but he didn’t care. Those whispered words were ten times worse than any wound and physical ailment Sephiroth could’ve inflicted upon him.

How was he supposed to live, now?!

Obstinately, Cloud shook his head and swallowed thickly. Through his turmoil and upset state, he failed to notice that he was clawing at his forearms to stop the pain from flowing out in his tone. “Why a-are you doing this to me?” he asked with a sudden flash of candescent anger, his fingers now digging into his own shoulders.

Sephiroth glared down at their feet, wincing in pain as well whenever Cloud tugged at his own skin and cried out. Then, the atmosphere around them changed completely when Sephiroth looked up at Cloud, his eyes as cold and hard as jade.

“I tried, Cloud,” Sephiroth announced bluntly. Flatly. “I tried, but time’s being lost, now.”

_‘Seven…’_

Cloud looked at him bewilderingly for a moment and then he remembered. He remembered everything they’d shared, all the images and visions swimming between his mind and heart. The flash of pain he caught in Sephiroth’s eyes broke him, completely.

Cloud bravely tried sauntering up to Sephiroth to gently still him as he trembled, but the older male swiftly backed away from him.

“No, don’t…please, don’t touch me.” There came a faint intake of irregular, ragged breath once he panted that plea out, stunning them both instantly.

Cloud felt the sting of guilt at those rebarbative words, knowing he was primarily responsible for Sephiroth’s unhappiness. He watched as the silver-haired male smiled, mainly trying to shield himself from his woes and torment. In turn, Cloud’s pregnant tears threatening to spill from his eyes had won the battle.

Dabbing at his eyeballs, he meekly observed as the smile on Sephiroth’s agonized visage faded and was replaced with a look of such profound sadness. Seeing it there so openly, Cloud thought his heart would burst from the pain and intensity it delivered even to himself.

Sephiroth softly orated, “I don’t think I could handle you touching me, right now.”

Stubbornly clinging onto whatever he had left in the way of an argument, no matter how illogical it was, Cloud shook his head. “The bond has not ended, and you should understand that!” Sputtering soundlessly for a moment, the air fluttered out of his lungs and past his lips like the tattered wings of a moth flittering through the coldest, darkest night.

“I don’t want it to end.”

Silencing him with a hush, Sephiroth refused to meet his eyes as he held onto his weapon. “It’s already the end, Cloud; I warned you about this, but now, you need to choose.”

_‘Six…’_

Cloud felt a keen loss at those mystifying words. It was inexplicable. He didn’t understand how he felt, and his stomach ached from struggling to locate any damn explanation.

Was Sephiroth asking him to choose between Aerith’s life and their bond?! As grim and dark as it was, he had to at least consider that gruesome thought when he peered into the background and noticed Aerith praying vigorously.

This was a friend…a dearly beloved, sweet friend whom he’d cared about as much and as deeply as he cared for Tifa. No one in their right frame of mind would choose otherwise. It was pretentious to even bother pretending.

Spinning his head around to study Sephiroth, then, Cloud felt even more wounded and disturbed than ever before. Yes, Aerith was his confidant, his friend, and he respected her with every fiber of his existence. But Sephiroth was his _partner._ The relationship they shared was romantic, spiritual, emotionally and psychologically driven, and it was starting to define a major part of Cloud’s conscience.

How could he decide which weighed more? How could he bring himself to lean more on one side as opposed to the other? What differentiated and distinguished the ‘best’ from the ‘worst’?

But he could not bear to watch as Sephiroth stood with his shoulders slumped inward a moment longer. The now familiar twinge gave way to something else, entirely. His heart seized, as if it had just woken from a deep sleep. It hurt with some foreign emotion and he’d be damned if he would stand there in self-imposed torture any longer.

Sephiroth raised his Masamune, and when the wind howled potently, it caused for the steel blade to sing out. Eyeing Aerith’s turned back, Sephiroth whispered gently, “This entire temple _is_ the ultimate source of Black Materia, and she has the White Materia.”

Cloud felt his breath hitching in his throat when Sephiroth exclaimed this. It sealed all the worries and fears he’d entertained of Sephiroth locating the damn White Materia. Would he now take it away from them and unleash death upon them all?

_‘Five…’_

Chuckling a nervous, dry laugh that was quite uncharacteristic of himself, Sephiroth pushed bits of his hair away from his eyes and sternly shook his head. Steadying his blade as he gripped the handle forcefully, he glared at it when his limbs quivered against his will and consent. With a clean, strong downward swipe of his left hand, the Masamune sang out a song of praise and encouragement that no doubt tried to light the fire in Sephiroth’s heart.

On the brink of implosion, Cloud begged, “Sephiroth, don’t do this! Leave her alone!”

This was injustice at its finest. Cloud had become quite used to Sephiroth being the only one who was at the center of his world. For what could’ve been measured in weeks, they’d spent time together in the distant memory of the Shinra Mansion, and it’d felt like a beautiful secret that only they shared. It was a blissful world in which the hardest, most painful questions weren’t answered or even voiced. A world where the future was their here and now. A world in which only Cloud and Sephiroth existed.

As always, it was too good to be true. Young Cloud would learn, though, that this ideal world didn’t really exist; it never was intended to survive for long. As much as he wanted it to, everything fell apart. Eventually, the hard questions would have to be voiced, and answered.

This day of reckoning had arrived all too soon for Cloud’s tastes. Now, they were here, standing before each other. Once, they’d been smiling fondly and warmly into each other’s eyes as they basked in each other’s heat. Now, Sephiroth’s cold veneer and emotionless eyes bore into his own. Hot tears spilled freely, and Cloud was certain that the world had ended.

Would he ever witness Sephiroth’s bright, beaming smile? How he longed for that smile to be directed at himself, just once more…that was all it would take.

_‘Four…’_

He noticed that they were inching apart from one another as Sephiroth trained his eyes on Aerith. Cloud felt his stomach clench at the sight of the sharp weapon aiming right for the center of her back as the rays above rained down on the altar, igniting it brightly. His heart skipped a beat or two, causing a painfully crushing sensation in his chest. He watched as the young woman prayed amiably about something. The words didn’t matter; they escaped his ears and mind, anyway.

“I release you, Cloud Strife, from this bond, from myself. May you find happiness, forevermore,” Sephiroth said again, and as the words left his lungs and mouth, he wheezed and closed his eyes akin to how one would on their deathbed.

Cloud wasn’t able to do anything aside from gaping like a fish out of water as he watched Sephiroth inching closer and closer to Aerith. Cloud continued to stare at him, his face contorted in confusion, his mouth hanging open, his arm and hand still outstretched from holding himself up. He wasn’t sure what to say. The lush beauty of the love he’d felt seemed incongruous at that specific moment.

_‘Three…’_

Cloud also closed his eyes. This was a sign he wished he’d seen earlier and been prepared for. Bitterly, he thought about all his wasted chances, his selfishness, everything he’d thrown away. What he would give to go back in time. To cherish what had been given to him so freely, what he’d thrown away in equal measure. It was too late now. Of that, Cloud was sure. He decided that there was nothing gained by avoiding the inevitable. He knew where his heart lay, and where his loyalties were concerned.

“I don’t want to be released, you god damn moron!” Surprised at the barbed, cutting tone of his own desperate plea, Cloud shuddered as he opened his eyes and espied Sephiroth mere inches away from touching the White Materia stored in Aerith’s long hair.

When Sephiroth’s fingers drew away from the gleaming orb, Cloud felt as though he’d just fallen fifty feet. The adrenaline rush left him shaky, though not diffident as he would’ve been. He moved ahead slowly and knew Sephiroth was watching him out of the corner of his eyes while Cloud held himself close, tears clinging to his eyes, his chest heaving.

Chin quivering uncontrollably, he murmured in torment, “I don’t want to be released.” He whispered this phrase numerous times as he shook his head and sniffed.

Mimicking him, Sephiroth shook his head, and mouthed the word ‘no,’ while he leaned into Aerith gently.

Once more, Cloud begged, “I don’t want to be released! For the love of all that is sensible, I don’t know why, but I don’t want to be released!” Drowning in his own misery and the fear of being alone and misunderstood, he finished his urgent cry. “Don’t…don’t do this to me…”

Sephiroth almost didn’t hear him. Almost.

_‘Two…’_

Cloud, for his part, was lost in thought. He wondered if Sephiroth was able to sense how horribly he felt. Quizzically, he wondered why he could sense Sephiroth’s pain and anguish, now. He never had been able to, before, but presently, Cloud recognized the acute pangs. The pain was incredible.

Sephiroth’s turmoil bled into Cloud’s, compacting it substantially until Cloud’s heart felt as though it might rip in two, or simply burst. Cloud didn’t even want to imagine what must’ve been currently flitting about and going on in Sephiroth’s head.

Did he have to do this, truly? Did they have to interminably remain at odds with one another, battling until the end of time?

But, his own musings and anguish aside, he knew he couldn’t hold onto Sephiroth forever. Not if the older male didn’t want him to. As awful as it would be, Cloud finally realized that Sephiroth cared more for his happiness than his own. He now understood why it had taken Sephiroth so long to admit to anything, and why he’d held back on his own feelings. It hadn’t been his simple-mindedness. No, it had been his compassion. His love. His selflessness.

How Cloud longed for and yearned to experience everything with Sephiroth again, all over from the beginning. If only they’d met in a different world, in a different lifetime…

In one deft move, Sephiroth lunged at Aerith faster than Cloud could even blink. His fingers snatched and clutched at the White Materia, and the moment he made physical contact with the young woman, she screamed in terror as she continued to pray, eyes tightly shut as she remained dedicated to her task.

Holding the White Materia in the air before himself, Sephiroth hardly even smiled as he callously hissed, perhaps only to himself. “And one day, the dance with the devil will be over.”

Masamune drawn back over his head, eyes set sternly on Aerith’s turned back, and with the rays of light surrounding his form to a blinding state, he brought the unforgivingly cold blade down.

_‘One.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...The end.  
> ......  
> ........Kidding, I’m kidding!! Σ(っ°Д °;)っ Please don’t get upset! Next chapter, we finally dive into Sephiroth’s POV!!😫😫 I truly hope people like it!


	44. Memories in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically covering Sephiroth in Crisis Core, meeting Cloud, first thoughts of him, up to Sephiroth’s death, knowledge gained from the Lifestream, his new goals, and what he needs Cloud for. Covers a small rundown of their fight at the end of the remake, pretty much up to Cloud accidentally initiating the soul bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth’s POV can be a tad confusing to follow at times, so I will post a small ‘summary’, if you will of what the chapter and his specific memories involved include to avoid questions (though if you have any, feel free to always ask).

How could he tear his eyes away from Cloud Strife since the moment they’d met?

His eccentric style, his bizarre mannerisms, his lack of charm, his social gaffes; all were rather unappealing…save for that saccharine smile he gave away when no one was near. That same smile had drawn Sephiroth right in when he caught Cloud looking fondly at Zack Fair and regaling his own memories about some girl named Tifa Lockhart.

Foolish chatter, so he’d assumed at the time. It was highly improbable that this ‘Cloud Strife’ would even last beyond the first week of training, and Sephiroth vowed to forget about the silly child who only acted and pretended as though he had some sort of ‘mature’ vision most adult men did.

Only, Cloud Strife wasn’t a person to be forgotten. Like a damn plague, he was suddenly _everywhere._ Rooting him out wasn’t a solution, unfortunately. Sephiroth had to control his own fallible temper and flaring hatred for the youth since his close friend Angeal Hewley was taking it upon himself to train and guide Zack Fair.

Irritably, Zack and Cloud became fast friends, Sephiroth came to learn, and they were inseparable. Wherever Zack went, Cloud followed, and the horrible domino effect chained and linked all the way back to poor Angeal.

Since Angeal and Sephiroth were bosom friends, that often entailed that if he wanted to chat with his friend or be around him, an annoying cost always came associated with it. That cost appeared in the form of Zack lingering about, oftentimes bringing Cloud along with himself. Like a foolish, untrained puppy, Cloud sought the chance to pounce and run around Zack’s heels, driving Sephiroth quite mad.

Grating and perplexing, it was, but Sephiroth worked his patience to the levels of a saint as he tried tolerating and stomaching it all for Angeal’s sake. Sooner or later, he supposed Cloud or Zack would grow bored and flit away to find someone else to pester.

Thankfully, Cloud didn’t seem too keen on staying around him. Like many of the cagy underlings and young ones, he seemed frightened and wary of Sephiroth’s standing. He never approached, but Sephiroth sensed Cloud’s curiously reticent gaze caressing his back whenever it was turned.

Time passed that way for many long months, but he lost all traces of it when he learned of the darkest secrets the Shinra Electric Power Company had worked so hard to keep away from him. How foolish of them all…the bastards thought that he wasn’t clever and maniacal to discover things all on his own. They ignored how resourceful and tactful he was. They were too blind and ignorant, but they would pay the hefty price and suffer the consequences for that, sooner or later. 

The dreary trip to Nibelheim tugging along brats with himself started out tedious enough. Monotonous, uninteresting; he had seen this a million times, already. However, he knew that a certain blond was capturing his attention.

Traces of it had been detected when Sephiroth observed Cloud and the other infantrymen training and engaging in mild combat. Cloud tried withholding, however, there was always so much more, as though the youth had to conceal his true power and grace. He was moving fluidly, with a strange ease through the complex course, hitting each target with a deadly precision. The boy was good at fighting, no doubt, so much that Sephiroth wondered how he would do with a more deadly sword.

Though Sephiroth wished to be elsewhere, their journey wasn’t all for naught, in the end. He’d stumbled upon the hidden secrets of blasphemy and barbaric experiments, though by accident. He’d sequestered himself for three days in the Shinra Manor basement. Three putrid, antagonizing days was all it took for him to obtain and digest the deepest, most savage secrets.

He hadn’t even slept during his time in the Shinra basement. How could anyone react otherwise when they learned that all this time, after nearly twenty-eight years of existing in the world, they were nothing but a tool for gruesome destruction?

These facts were astonishing, but it was far better and wiser to face these demons in the harshness of daylight than to permit them to drown him in their thick, dark quagmire of endless torment and suffering. Only idiots and weak people succumbed to such a fate, and Sephiroth refused to be an idiot without a trace of courage lingering in his system.

Sephiroth was waving in and out of consciousness, feeling his body trying to fight whatever Professor Hojo had done to him. Flashbacks of the war played before his eyes; horrors soaked in blood and ripped flesh scattered around himself by his own hand. The battle, the intensity of the flames, people yelling in agony, swallowed by humanity’s foolish desire of conquest! And the pain, the sharp prick of guilt forming a knot in his stomach, the pain of realizing that he was nothing more than a weapon, the responsibility of thousand lost lives…

Unbearable…but whenever he closed his tired eyes, suddenly, it all would fade away, leaving him in the quietness of his sordid solitude.

It all hurt. His mother wasn’t Jenova, but rather, his life-source. Jenova was his essence, but she wasn’t a ‘mother’ in the most natural way. It wasn’t fair. Everyone else he knew of had a mother, a father, and a place to call home. Zack Fair and Cloud Strife had Nibelheim, they had their loving parents, and they were cherished and included in a community.

What did he have?

Sorrow? Regret? Misery? Solitude? A pallid heart filled with wayment and grief?

No…those were _human_ characteristics, feelings, and experiences. He was above human…he was a demigod on the way to ascension! He would be the one to elevate and progress the planet, the species, and the entire cosmos. Nothing had stood in his way; none had dared cross his path. He would aim to be reunited with ‘Mother’, and soon, they would be begging for his guidance.

A fool’s errand, perhaps. Though he’d bested Zack Fair easily, he was much too young and naïve still not to remember Cloud…that stupid, bratty infantryman. Of course, he’d gotten involved, and of all people in the world to land a fatal blow, it just had to be the one young thing Sephiroth hated beyond comprehension.

Wearish…tasteless.

Cloud had pierced him through when his back was turned, and he was thinking of Mother and their future world. The ultimate, cheating move of betrayal, but it’d happened to him. How dare he…how dare…strength unsurpassed, Sephiroth lashed out as well, but it didn’t measure up. Damn the mysterious consequences! Damn this child! Damn Cloud Strife!

It was impossible! It never should’ve happened! Cloud had _bested_ him?! But how?! How could that weak little rat come to use his own damn weapon to throw him into the Lifestream?

In the end, there was no denying that he’d been lost to his depravity.

Death had indeed claimed him, however, but his soul refused to wither and die. Sephiroth’s fatal end couldn’t have been crafted more perfectly. He was born again and renewed in the Lifestream. He’d become one with it, drifting and soaking in the energy and illimitable knowledge for over five years. The infinite, ceaseless wisdom was daunting, but it opened his eyes. He’d been granted new ones, and this was only the beginning of his ascension.

He would become a Formless One, but it wasn’t possible with Jenova’s influence. As long as the parasitic Jenova and the influences staining him remained, it simply couldn’t be done. Accessing the glorious Lifestream, he needed to be pure, inside and out. At least, Sephiroth thought he wanted that, at first.

He should’ve known that with miraculous keys to infinite power and knowledge, there would be more. There would come a time where the Lifestream would die out, especially with Jenova cells due to the decapitated head he’d fallen with mucking up the Lifestream, itself. It cleansed itself and would heal, giving birth to something greater and far better. He learned of this when his eyes opened due to the years suspended in the place where creation began and ended. Sephiroth soon learned of the Cosmos stream…the Greater Lifestream.

_‘The Cosmos, of course! New ideas, greater planes…higher planets…the universe…’_

Eyes on the inside. He’d learned how to see beyond the realms, through time, and he’d had his eyes opened to the best and the worst.

Others of course would come to aid him, though with time. The future told him so; the Greater Lifestream told him so. Through its glorious teachings, Sephiroth saw three young men, all mere puppets of a promising but uneventful future. On their own whim and selfish motivations, their vainglory and hopelessness beguiled them with the hope of a Reunion. To be with Mother was their goal, but at first…spoiled brats, stupid, silly puppets. That’s all they were.

They pretended they had names, though they only existed as remnants. Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. In the end, it didn’t matter what their names were. They tried bringing the prodigal son back, but it wouldn’t work with Cloud’s will and resolve. That was unsurpassed. The stalwart youth wasn’t always going to remain flippant, ignorant, and childish. He would grow in skill, strength, wisdom, and power, and there was no stopping or preventing it.

Sephiroth wanted to cut it from the root…but the toxic root extended deeply within himself. To eradicate Cloud from the planet and erase all traces of his existence was his first goal, but then he spent another age of time learning of a new gift from the gods.

Cloud was the only one pure enough to help him, and Sephiroth needed help. Tied and chained to the Crater, there wasn’t anything he could do until he’d been purged at least mildly of Jenova. How to do so escaped himself, as he’d been so blinded by his rage and contempt for Cloud not to realize it at the time. He only wanted to conquer and dominate Cloud, putting him in his rightful place after all these years spent in solitude stewing and miserable…

No, to overcome the enemy, Sephiroth had to decorously bond _with_ the enemy. Everyone else would fail; it was only a matter of time and circumstance. It’d been written in the decree of the universe and nothing would run parallel to fate. As much faith as he had in himself and his manipulative powers, he knew Cloud would reign supreme in the end. He’d seen so countless times.

His puppets had failed already, and they would fail again, later. Cloud would best them all in combat, and even banish Sephiroth to live and exist in his tormented memories. But he didn’t want to be a memory…he refused to. Life was what he wanted, but a greater and better life, one that he’d not even disclosed to Cloud or Mother.

A promised, majestic land, indeed. The rest of the world and humanity would benefit greatly from this promised land, only Sephiroth wanted to make it _better_. His eyes had opened, but theirs had yet to. If Jenova remained in control, bending the fabric of reality and time repeatedly, constantly polluting the Lifestream, then there was no way he could access the Cosmos stream and elevate the planet.

Jenova had to be purged and flushed out like a disease, but he couldn’t do it alone…he needed Cloud…he needed someone pure of heart, pure of soul, mind, and completely strong in will and resolve. He’d seen Cloud display that he was worthy. He’d seen it in the past, the present, and he’d seen it in the future when Cloud defeated another puppet. The lengths and harsh extremities the youth would subject himself to suffer through was nothing short of poetic, mesmeric, and hypnotically insane. It was what made him a good, strong candidate.

Abruptly, the savage brawl ended.

Thick blood stained the sun kissed, parched earth, dense leathery knees finally collapsing beneath Cloud, after what felt like an eternity of a slow-drawn breath and pained exhale. Souba, the double-bladed sword, sank deeply into the heavy soil beside its wielder, swaying back and forth with the force and weak puncture. Silence, after years of turmoil and anxiety, finally brought to an end with a sharp slice of the Buster Sword, savage in its accuracy.

Sephiroth had seen Cloud stumble backwards, allowing his grip on the mighty sword to ease enough for the hilt to slip away, piercing the ground with a sharp puncture and resounding slice. Suddenly, his heart ached, eyes burned with something other than the bright morning sunrise pouring into the mako-shaded depths, and he feared looking about himself at his enemy.

The mutual attack had been swift with a silent agreement, and the Souba had glided smoothly beneath the heavy Buster. Cloud looked as though he’d been sure he’d missed horribly when the slice of his side yielded to blood pouring down his leg, in a slow, even rate. The pain had yet to reach its full effect, and Cloud merely blinked, turning with his golden cheeks unusually pale and sullen for a man his age.

Kadaj’s bright, fluorescent eyes were angled sharply in anger, fear and pain, jaw visibly clenched with a gloved hand lain protectively over an even deeper gash. Uneven with Cloud’s last swipe upwards, that was quickly pulling the color away from his face. He swayed there, kneeling, opening his mouth twice as though about to speak, but words left him as he slanted to the side and fell softly.

All at once, Sephiroth had felt Cloud regretting his entire life.

Pain Cloud experienced and had built up over the years suddenly uprooted itself, evident from the deaths of practically everyone he cared for. Still, that had never prevented Sephiroth from attacking and hitting the young man with an executioner’s blow. Sephiroth knew that Cloud had been shaken by his loss even then. Cloud ignored the searing fire racing through his veins and stumbled the few yards over to where Kadaj lay, his eyes still wide open and breath gasping and heavy.

Even in times like this, Cloud’s empathy and compassion prevailed. Even in death and through memories, the little bastard had to triumph over Sephiroth.

Yes, the puppets would be cut down from their strings, one by one. There would be no Remnants of Sephiroth. What mattered was changing the future of the planet, catering to a more superior race of gods like himself. Ascension was the only way from here, and he’d begun to lay his trap.

Charming Cloud hadn’t worked at the Edge of Creation, much to his dismay. A gentle sway of a pleasant tongue coupled with a soothing touch all were bestowed equally unto the querulous youth until Sephiroth had decided to tease him with bits of titillating details, promising a better future for their world.

Taunting and toying with the young man, Sephiroth indeed was obviously lying to him when he’d stated that he wanted to defy destiny with Cloud at his side. As selfish as he knew himself to be, he only wished to manipulate and use Cloud for reaching his purpose, and then he would discard of him when the time was right.

Unfortunately, Cloud read right through it. The brat had a knack for sensing when someone was deceiving him. Though Sephiroth had to somewhat pass off the blame to the puppets for that mishap. They were faulty and flawed, as one of them appeared to Cloud, drawing him in, reeling in his curiosity as Sephiroth channeled the bitter, vile memories of Nibelheim burning.

Mocking Cloud with memories of slaughtering his family wasn’t the best form of gaining his compliance, but Sephiroth was far more vindictive than he should’ve been. Years of resentment and contempt revealed their ugly faces as he found himself wanting to haunt the youth at any given moment.

Day or night, the games never ceased for Sephiroth. He stood by, almost laughing when one of the puppets climbed over Cloud, bearing his visage. Even in front of that young Ancient, he felt bold and courageous enough to toy with the golden-haired ex-infantrymen as he pleased. All that had been well and fun, but Sephiroth eventually grew bored of it when Cloud was so close to giving him what he’d wanted.

As persuasive as he’d hoped he was, Cloud again had to rub the opposite notion in his face. With the single word of ‘never’, they’d engaged in a battle. Sephiroth didn’t wish to strike Cloud dead, although the idea was rather thrilling.

No…they would dance another day, another time. Cloud would soon come to him, and he would make it so, orchestrating and conducting every move.

The idea occurred to Sephiroth like a striking bolt of an electric, clamorous epiphany one day.

_“What if I were to seduce him as one would a woman?”_

Wherever the hell that thought had originated from was beyond any line of reasoning or rationality. Regardless, it was an option, and he was running out of them with Cloud being so persistently shut off and evasive. Cloud wouldn’t flat out speak with him, but Sephiroth had a plan on how to draw the youth out.

Showering him with gifts and speeches using dulcifluous words and phrases would no doubt be a new approach the blonde would never see coming and wouldn’t be prepared to handle. Through the ‘duels’ disguised as Sephiroth wanting to teach Cloud new skills, the older warrior shrewdly picked up on Cloud’s weaknesses. Whilst playing the role of a good mentor, Sephiroth began wondering what else he could take advantage of and exploit.

Memories…Cloud’s memories were scattered and so messy…this wasn’t going to work, not if he needed and wanted for Cloud to be strong and confident enough to confront the past in order to bend to his will. Ignorance was only going to bend and break the vessel, but he knew he couldn’t unleash everything at once.

The puppets worked out beautifully at this concise, key point. Number ‘27’ was strong enough to carry on through, and he morphed quickly into deceased, second-class SOLDIER, Zack Fair. And the idiots foolishly bought it. What a laugh, it was. They coddled ‘Zack’, nursed him back to health, and were even dense enough to spend time around him without noticing how different he was.

Well, perhaps Cloud was clueing into it, but he hardly had time to dive deeper. The Wutai troops swooped in asking for help, and with Rufus Shinra vowing to hunt down Avalanche members indiscriminately, the perfect moment couldn’t have arrived any sooner for Sephiroth.

As he needed to speed up the process, Sephiroth risked doing something he’d never dared to do before; enter a soul bond with the brat. That was the only way he would be able to tie this vessel to himself, and it would slowly drain Cloud of his donnism, essence and strength, channeling forth into Sephiroth as his soul aimlessly wandered from vastly different planes of existence.

As it were, his physical form was stuck in the crater, but it wouldn’t be if his soul was fed something pure and powerful. Cloud radiated all of that, and Sephiroth’s need to possess and snatch that away grew to be too much to contain.

Marking Cloud was the first step. The Geostigma spread through his arm, but it was more than merely a matter of branding the youth. Sephiroth already knew that Cloud had his cells due to the experiments the ghastly Shinra scientist put him through. Zack was weak, but Cloud wasn’t. Cloud was the perfect choice, and his cells molded beautifully with the Geostigma. Now, he had nowhere to turn to, no place to go, and no one else who would believe him.

Of course, he would come to Sephiroth, and he had.

Like the easily predictable, naïve twerp he was, Cloud fell into his curiosity about Jenova. Sephiroth hadn’t been the one who’d drawn him in, but Jenova had, due to the Geostigma residing within Cloud. Nature took its course. Sephiroth only stood by as a silent observer as Cloud tried poking around and peering into Jenova’s container. He only intervened when the moment was right; when he knew Cloud held the blade and would inflict harm unto him.

So predictable. Such a charlatan.

The bond had been created and sealed, and now, Cloud was his property. Now, Sephiroth had permission to do whatever he pleased.

…At least, a part of his mind had wanted that…hadn’t it? Wasn’t it supposed to be this way? What was wrong with him? Why was he second-guessing himself so much the longer he spent time with Cloud?

Sephiroth had eerily shifted from theomania and theopneustic beliefs centered around himself, to genuinely holding great concern for Cloud Strife too quickly, so much that it went undiscovered to himself.

He’d blamed the nature of the bond, at first. Cursing himself then for not taking more time and caution into properly researching what would occur the deeper he dove into it, he felt that the infernal thing had bastardized his plans. Consistently, Sephiroth caught himself putting off the inevitable. He was trying to buy time, and he hadn’t even realized it.

Chatting with Cloud, dueling with him, and even allowing him to stay with himself in the Shinra Mansion was only a recipe for disaster waiting. Like everything else, disaster did indeed follow, but Sephiroth didn’t want to think on it, now. All he could think of was the future, his own path, his means to achieving the goals, and why he’d been deterred from them.

Something strange was in the works and had been for a long time to throw him off-course. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew he was no match for it, at all. This wasn’t a common enemy he could compete with and defeat; this was invisible, spiritual, emotional, and psychological, all in one go.

His weakest areas…it always targeted his weakest areas.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

With each dawn, there was hope. Though only for some. Despair remained for others, while death posed as a looming threat for even less fortunate souls.

Nothing could ever be stained in purity here, not any longer. The light brought the quiet to unreachable places. It was so subtle in its invasion. The waking dawn and the quiet that encompassed it. It never was even closely akin to the deaths he delivered to his foes.

It never measured up to and was not anything like the chaos certain places his mind suffered and had gone through. Deliberate uproar. Fine and delicate strings being tuned just so, to be pulled and torn. Havoc. That’s all it was, and that’s all it ever would be. It didn’t matter how organized it looked from afar, on paper, or even in his memories. Being here was something far different. This experience was going to destroy Sephiroth, seeping him dry until he was ready to face death.

Although the idea of seeing one of the dead souls he’d tortured personally in spirit was justifiable, perhaps even touching an estranged cheek, kissing cold lips, was too much to ask for. Just a faint touch…if he had to go, Sephiroth held greater preferences for leaving the mortal realm in someone’s arms…with someone genuinely bestowing kindness and love unto himself.

Just once…

The planet was moving, but it was also sick. It was dying. He could feel every breath it took as he hearkened to its cries and bore them just as his own inner pain. The infernal pangs of pain and anguish never decreased, however. Why was it so? 

The sky looked like death, even quite early in the mornings, no matter how much he tried ignoring the ghastly details. The silence wavering about was often so still it could be tranquil, but it sounded so close to death, that there was little else in the way of difference. The plays in the light made it hard to tell if it was peaceful and passive, or a cry of reverent mourning.

A pleading to the heavens to uncaring gods sang and orchestrated from the waves of the ocean right down to the blossoming of the flowers and buds…yes, he’d convinced himself that’s what it was.

What good would it do? They never heard enough to listen, anyway.

The colors, as the morning beckoned, it all painted more vividly the deaths of so many. The pain of a nation. The death of a country. The mourning of a nation of people. Murder in the sky. Orders of the mighty cast on the few. Just like pawns in chess, to do as they were told. Waiting to be sacrificed for the greater good.

For the greater good. Unknowing what this greater good was but fighting for it anyhow was the work of sheep; not true men meant to become gods. Being conditioned that it was for the best, that it was good, that it was something that should be desired as well as cherished. A common ground for all, not just all pawns. For the greater good, on to the slaughter, just like sacrificial lambs. It had to be done; they had to all ascend.

Those that were left, no doubt were forced to remember the silence. To remember the sky. To remember the quiet, so subtle in its ways. The way it would take over everything, including the rays of light from the sky, the colors fading into the clouds, the outcroppings in the land, the bodies that littered the surfaces of everywhere...

Sephiroth glanced around, walking on thin air as he realized he’d reached his destination…this was the very same place which still held so much significance for himself.

The quiet brought many things here, watching the water, the dawn slowly approaching. Thinking was never wanted and always needed. Thinking ahead, thinking of what was, thinking of what must be done. None of the outcomes and decisions would turn out to be good. Nothing that could be thought here could be positive. There wasn’t a plausible way, even if he’d wanted that.

The quiet all around spoke out to him that his darkest secrets hadn’t fully been discovered, yet. Those that were sleeping perhaps could stay asleep a little while longer.

The malapert quiet spoke of calm tension in the air. The quiet spoke of all things left unsaid and unspoken. All needs that would remain unfulfilled and unattended. The quiet presented the grim image of death all around Gaia that lingered in the air, painting a picture of the murders yet to come.

However, to die a thousand times and still keep the memories of previous sins was certainly something of a unique, maybe even celebrated event.

Yet, for someone who had been known as stalwart as Sephiroth, the unusual nature of this memory retention was just a cruel coincidence. He drove the chisel deeply into his flesh in order to escape the depravity that was eating away at his soul.

Anyone else would have gone mad a thousand times, if they had even survived all he had known. But not him. Not Sephiroth. Sephiroth was the ultimate stoic, keeping his deliration, thoughts and feelings to himself, all while focusing his entire being on the jobs he was given. He never allowed himself any personal comfort and worked twice as hard as he asked any of his subordinates to work. As Shinra’s top officer, he felt that to be made into an example, he should live a life of sparseness.

It showed in his belongings, or lack thereof, and in his demeanor. He never showed outward emotions, never let anything or any sort of aberration startle himself, and never indulged himself the least bit.

This was another inhumane, maliferous twist to his fate, forcing him to drown in these broken memories, when all he wanted was death.

Sephiroth only wanted to die...

All he ever wished for now was not the destruction of the world. Sephiroth only wanted death for himself, to finally rest and lose himself amongst the other faceless souls in the Lifestream. He wanted to dissolve, and to fall apart...

He hated the memories, most of all. Memories of himself betraying Zack Fair, memories of himself being betrayed by the Company, used as a damn tool, a killing machine. And most of all, he hated that he remembered everything there was to remember about Cloud.

He hated that he missed Cloud Strife.

Although the former General did not necessarily feel guilty for his sins, since he still had a thorough belief that what he was searching for was right, his already shattered heart burned with traitorous rejections from his mother.

Jenova.

She, who broke him and made him feel alive over and over. Jenova had been the alible sustenance he’d needed to thrive and to grow in strength, power, and wisdom. Through Jenova, he’d been born, nourished, bound, and made a monster to do irreparable harm to everyone. Jenova owned and controlled him, and all this time, he’d never known of such a fatality.

Yet, like everyone and everything else, she too abandoned him. She left him all alone to fight, all alone without her tender voice speaking to him, comforting him.

She was a traitor. What kind of a mother would abandon their child so cruelly? What kind of a treacherous, duplicitous creature would seep another’s will to live, slaying and slaughtering the weak, only so the strong could survive? Jenova was no exceptional case when it came to that brutal matter. She took whatever the Ancients could give, and over the course of many long decades, she drained them of every last bit of sustenance they had.

A parasite…and she’d affected him, as well. He’d been accosted with chaotic madness, and he hardly was able to control, prevent, and cut it all off. Like cancer, it spread, the disease triggering and scintillant within his brain, shocking him right down to every last fiber of his being.

So Sephiroth buried himself in the icy caves of the Northern Crater. He struggled in-between the restricting icy blanket that buried him for decades, fighting with the backstabbing tone of his precious mother feeding her insane ideas into his soul, again and again.

He had his own battles, Sephiroth would insist. He had his own manacles to break from, and she returned, whispering to him what he had to do. The words became less endearing as time went on, leaving his soul albescent and sickly. He’d given Mother everything, but it was never enough for her greed.

Perhaps it was time to realize that Jenova had far too much control and power over everyone, including himself. She chained and shackled him to his demons, forcing him to confront them and co-operate with them to wreak havoc and chaos. Jenova, through his essence and power had done this…Jenova had summoned Meteor, and as always, Sephiroth had to be the ‘good son’ to clean up after Mother’s mess or ignore it.

But Sephiroth only wanted to die, now. What good was a life without hopes, ambitions, and without the truth? What did he even have? What had he been fighting for?

Eventually, his algid, ice blanket would melt.

And eventually, due to natural and unnatural causes, those whom he once called enemies would die. Disasters spread through Shinra and Avalanche, the disasters of death and time. They were the ones even Sephiroth hadn’t learned to defeat, yet.

Sephiroth wasn’t aware that the only survivors of the original Avalanche rebels now were the knowledgeable wolf, and the former Turk who obsessed so desperately with righting the wrongs of his unspeakable sins and darkest secrets. His memories had been tampered with after his death, and like gathering the bits back together after a chaotic storm had passed, he’d struggled for half a year, or possibly longer, just to relocate his memories.

Cursed things…if only he could be done with them all…

Sephiroth gave their memories no thought. The idea of them ever being a part of his life again was incomprehensible, so as the silver-haired, skillful General dug his fingers deeply into his cold skin and continued his journey through familiar but unidentifiable ground. Along his journey, he didn’t even think of seeing any who still knew of his legend and reputation, firsthand.

He did not think of anything but the pain that enclosed around himself. His mind, mostly, hurt so much more than any physical disaster could.

The silver-haired man, once branded a callous monster, did not note the blood seeping quickly, aggressively, from the scissure through his body and his arms. Nor did he feel himself falling, his cheeks cut by the sharp stones that threw his body around like the weakest rag doll.

Sephiroth, the great Shinra General with an illustrious career and established, scintillescent monikers associated with his namesake, was no more.

Sephiroth, the destroyer, undefeated by many, was no more.

At the base of the Northern Cave lay Sephiroth, defeated and weak, with absolutely no hope or will to live, let alone attempt to take his horrid reign again.

Sephiroth the great, had finally fallen.

_“Sephiroth.”_

Yet, despite the fall from grace, the silver-haired man could swear he still heard a voice whisper his name. A voice that was somewhat familiar, but not familiar enough to be that of Mother.

Was this further insanity? Would he hear other calamities now, ordering, controlling, and forcing him further into his broken reality?

_“Sephiroth…”_

He wanted to ignore it, yet the voice seemed tender and gentle…it was even soothing his aches, now…

Why?

If the troubled One Winged Angel had any sort of desire to lift his bruised and cut features from the grass they were imbedded in, he would no doubt have seen confusion, as well as a slight hint of concern in the face of the one who called his name.

They were a strange, misguided shadow. Fuzzy and untraceable as they stood before his crumpled form, he had to steady himself enough to lift his head higher, dipping it back so he could make out any defining features he would be able to recognize.

The shadow was soon joined by another…they both spoke out to him, their voices charming, warm, and quite surreal.

“Sephiroth…Sephiroth…old friend…”

Blearily, akin to a groggy version of his teenage self, his vagant thoughts became vaporose as he felt the cool grass and earth beneath himself. Planted right in the middle of a large, open meadow, the sky was a wonderfully serene blend of languid white, and placid blue. This wasn’t at all a place he ventured to in his dreams and nightmares.

This wasn’t the cave, nor the temple. Where was he, then?

Blinking slowly due to how heavy his eyelids felt, Sephiroth found he couldn’t recognize the meadow. Of course, how many fields and meadows had he been in that he could trace distinguishing features that would help identify and differentiate one from the other?

Ridiculous.

He was more interested on focusing with all his energy and soul to identify who the two men were gazing down at him. Shaking his head once to help ‘clear away’ his fog, when he blinked once more and felt two hands gently holding onto his shoulders, he was able to lean up closely and study who these individuals were.

Sephiroth wasn’t even capable of saying their names due to his intense shock and fear. Perhaps his mind had finally collapsed and descended into chaotic madness. Perhaps he was seeing ghosts…

Whatever the explanation, nothing could make him understand how and why in all the galaxies he was kneeling dejectedly on the grass and soil while Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos smiled fondly at him. They were greeting an old friend, which may have been why they smiled so brightly at him. Their eyes like shining marbles gleamed and bore down on him, further paralyzing Sephiroth while he hung his limbs on the grass like a broken machine.

Together, Angeal and Genesis lifted their tall friend off the ground effortlessly, as though he weighed next to nothing.

Meeting Angeal’s eyes while a knowing smirk worked its way onto his features, Genesis sighed softly. “Sephiroth hasn’t changed at all, has he, Angeal?”

Smile not once dying down or reducing, Angeal nodded by way of confirmation and agreement. “Indeed, he has not, Genesis.”

Toying with Sephiroth’s long strands, the copper haired SOLDIER whispered, “Let’s all sit for a little while…I could recite _Loveless_ , just as I used to for us, all those years ago…”

Sephiroth was heaved through the grass, limply lolling about as he craned his head like a doll, only jerking back and forth while his weight rested partly on Genesis, and half over Angeal. Both friends wrapped his arms about their necks for support, guiding him forth as a sheen of white slammed into Sephiroth’s eyes the moment he peered up to greet it.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise ;)


	45. Memoirs of a Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter, but basically, here, this all covers Sephiroth’s views and feelings when he had ‘soul sex’ with Cloud, his reactions to Cloud all throughout Wutai Village, Cloud staying in the Shinra Manor with Sephiroth, right until they fought and almost killed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long...sorry.

His mind suddenly swooned, and Sephiroth felt dizzier than the first time he’d taken flight while trying to grow accustomed to his wing. The heights were now psychological and emotional, but it made no difference to his warped perspective. Pain was experienced as much as fear, and he loathed himself for feeling so human.

The thin line between imagination and reality had been transcended. Dreams were steadily blending into his real world, and it was prevalent as he stared at Genesis and Angeal. They were both donning their SOLDIER uniforms and gear, their faces young and supple just like the days they’d all been together in the Shinra Electric Power Company.

The wind whistled an odd tune, carrying along with its gushing gales a few flower petals and blades of grass. Sephiroth didn’t move to touch the bits, far too busy trying to root himself in lucidity.

Rubbing his temples and then pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to locate the pain bludgeoning himself in the skull, while Angeal and Genesis kept an eye on him. They both tilted their heads curiously, resembling two large, friendly dogs. Having such an audience wasn’t thrilling or welcoming; it was a grim, confounding reminder informing his misguided perceptions that he wasn’t as strong anymore as he’d once been.

He didn’t even have time to feel mortified; Genesis and Angeal had already understood everything he’d been through, and effortlessly, it seemed.

Crossing his legs together as he casually leaned up against a thick tree trunk and beamed down at his silver-haired friend, Genesis curled his fingers around the lowest hanging leaves and branches until he plucked an apple from one of them and bit into it with a snicker.

Angeal gasped as he playfully swatted at the apple, eagerly desiring a piece, but his red-headed companion held his arm as far out of reach as possible.

Wagging a finger in his friend’s disappointed face in a disparaging manner, Genesis hissed aggressively, “No dumbapples for you, Angeal! Stay away from mine.”

Waving him off dismissively, a nonchalant Angeal Hewley snorted as he then studied Sephiroth seriously. “So, you bound yourself to Cloud Strife.” Shaking his head slowly, he supplied coolly, “Not entirely surprising; you were always quite strange, Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth meanwhile wished it hadn’t hurt to hear the frankness of Angeal’s words. There had been no malicious intent behind them, which only made their impact stronger. They were truest declarations spoken from the heart of one childhood friend to another, and beyond that, they seemed to whisper to the taller male: ‘We know. We understand your pain.’

A funny twinge hit Sephiroth squarely in the chest when he thought about that. Of course, it made no sense, and it had no place there, so he quickly disregarded it.

Slowly masticating on the dumbapple while his eyelids opened widely, Genesis licked his lips smoothly as he gasped in awe, “Who’d have thought that Sephiroth would grow fond enough of someone to bind himself to them, huh?”

Scratching his chin, Angeal rolled his eyes as he muttered in a tedious tone, “Who’s to judge who’s attractive and who’s not?”

Frowning upon hearing their chatter, Sephiroth had to consider this. Cloud was, of course, attractive in that waifish, elven sort of way, and he was unlike anyone Sephiroth had ever seen before. There was more to physical beauty than met the eye; he’d already found Cloud’s mind and heart a thing of true beauty long before enjoying his visage, body, and looks.

Resisting the urge to tear out blades of grass in total agony and misery, Sephiroth just sat there uselessly. In the end, he figured he would always be useless. Without much else, he openly admitted to it as he didn’t even glance up once at his two friends.

Fingers tingling and tickling as though a few bugs were crawling around in his dark gloves, Sephiroth gently moved the digits while his ears were accosted by the harsh crunching and chewing noises whenever Genesis bit down into his dumbapple and greedily swallowed large portions.

The sounds faded into the background when Angeal pointed out, “A soul bond…that’s uncommon, isn’t it?”

Nodding energetically, Genesis stated, “I haven’t heard of that practice since the time of the Ancients and Jenova.”

Ignoring his friend for a moment, an amused, yet cautious Angeal inquired without judgement clouding his voice, “Sephiroth, what were you intending to do with Cloud Strife? Hmm? Did you really want to use him to ‘upgrade’ the planet after ridding yourself of whatever plagues you?”

The next question ‘Could you really do that to him?’ hadn’t been spoken aloud, but Sephiroth felt it between his friends, almost as if they’d both telepathically communicated and channeled it to him.

Clutching his stomach when it lurched, Sephiroth hissed in discomfort through clenched teeth and a tight jaw, “It was…f-for…a…b-better cause…a b-b-better future…”

Why couldn’t he keep his composure and maintain his words to present them fluently? Why was he stuttering so much?

Profoundly confused glances were exchanged between his friends for a moment. They looked like they had no clue what else to add, but finally, Genesis finished his dumbapple and threw the remains down at his own feet.

Squishing the stem and core of the fruit and grinding it harshly into the earth, as he trained his eyes on Sephiroth, he scolded him quite brashly, much like a parent would lecture their child. “You don’t know what to do, now? You always had plans, but unlike the plans of your past, Sephiroth, the unknown future turned against you, didn’t it?”

“The last Cetra of Gaia…the very last one, and her fate now lies in your hands.” Chuckling as he shook his head in total awe, Angeal scratched the back of his neck before shrugging apathetically. The motion made his shoulders roll, and his chest puffed out drastically.

“Can you even do it, Sephiroth?”

The question was accusatory, no matter how gently and sweetly Angeal had worded it and presented it. He knew his friend for so long that there was no need for airs and graces. Social politeness and niceties didn’t exist between them. The question was cutting and painful to listen to; it scraped its way inside his eardrums, slicing and zapping into his brain, eventually worming its way into his conscience.

Utterly conflicted, Sephiroth cried out before them, “The only remaining Cetra on Gaia knows she’s truly the last of her kind, a-and yet…sh-she wants to sacrifice her own life for h-humanity.”

What a laugh…yet he couldn’t bring himself to laugh, at all.

Pointing shrewdly at him and offering him no less than a trademark, saucy grin that was beyond self-satisfied, Genesis mewled and hooted, “You have learned from that, no? You have seen that love can change many things, and love doesn’t bind others to their weaknesses, Sephiroth.”

Yes…in essence and practice, this was entirely true.

Overrun with dizziness, and completely overwhelmed by everything they’d opened him up to, Sephiroth heaved and coughed. He could hardly contain himself as he rasped and wheezed dryly, “God…I’m nauseous…have you felt this?”

Images of the past and future flashed, and they conflicted and differed vastly. In some, Cloud Strife was alive and well, laughing joyously with his friends around a large table bearing a grand feast. In others, however, he was lying on the cold ground in the rain next to the deceased body of Zack Fair. The latter image disturbed Sephiroth to no avail. He could throw up seeing Cloud in such a state, and he nearly did as he bent midway and pressed his head down close to the grassy ground.

His best friends and comrades eyed him carefully, though they made no quick moves to intervene in what was happening. It appeared that even though he was suffering immensely, they wanted and needed for him to see and experience this all…

Shaking his head as his hair hung about his face, making his skin feel even more heated, Sephiroth bemoaned weakly, “I knew it…I’m no beast! I’m human! I’m extraordinary!”

Contrary to his greatest fears, he most certainly _was_ capable of feeling. He _could_ care for another and love…

Breathing hitching in his throat as he considered this, Sephiroth felt the pain and pleasure, the bad and good, all of it tugging at his mind. A headache wasn’t what he was feeling; a splitting skull and throbbing brain perhaps came close to measuring the excruciating anguish he was suffering through.

“Oh…god…it feels…a-awful…” What was this? Had he been stabbed? Gutted? Disemboweled?

Gingerly touching his chest and abdomen proved to his concerns that he was fully intact and unscathed. Still, a part of himself was missing; there was a gaping hole, somewhere…

In his soul…

Grinning, though not in a malicious sense, Genesis purred, “You feel that? The sickness, health, the constant tossing and turning in your stomach whenever Cloud’s in danger and whenever you’re both apart?” Curiously, he drawled in supplication, “Do you feel his pain as if it’s your own?”

He did. Since the day he’d bonded with Cloud, though he tried to conceal it well, Sephiroth had miserably felt the burning need to constantly watch over the youth. When he’d been in trouble and under attack by the Wutai warriors, Sephiroth cursed himself for being so weak. He should’ve defended Cloud even more, but it wasn’t good enough. He felt like a small child, and every time they fought even for practice, a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach begged and pleaded with himself to stop. Sephiroth wanted to slice his own throat with his Masamune each time he even swung it at Cloud.

As if somehow reading his mind, Angeal gracefully offered, “That’s called ‘love’, Sephiroth. It encompasses both the darkness and brightness in your soul, for better _and_ worse.”

One minute he was warm and lightheaded, and the next, he felt like the earth had swallowed him whole and tossed his mangled form back out.

Why was this love, then? How could it be so? Wasn’t love something grand and beautiful, so much that famous poets, musicians, novelists, and artists all around the planet ranted, sang, wept, and paraded about it?

Why did it cause such a potent feeling of great pangs of pain and a dull ache stirring in his heart? Why couldn’t he bloviate on his feelings for Cloud as the young ex-SOLDIER deserved to hear and know?

He wasn’t happy, but he came to the blunt realization that he wasn’t ever happy when he was alone. Those times he’d spent with Cloud had been the first real genuine taste of happiness. The sample had unfortunately run out, and now that Cloud wasn’t at his side, it became infinitely worse. It was impossible to bear…

Clutching at his heart, Sephiroth was hardly capable of breathing, let alone standing. As he stumbled and swaggered about almost drunkenly, he managed to turn to his two friends as he spoke out in reverent terror, “I c-can’t hurt him a-anymore…”

Nodding as he huffed, Genesis mocked playfully, “Yes, you’re in love, Sephiroth. It is natural to protect those we love.” As soon as he’d stated this, Angeal chuckled something under his breath.

“Yep. He’s in love, wish I had some sake around to celebrate the damn occasion.”

Sharing in his friend’s mild humor, Genesis purred as he lay a hand over Sephiroth’s back in a move of support. “If you don’t have love, you’re lost, Sephiroth. This rare, unique opportunity doesn’t visit us all, but when it does, hold onto it.”

Carrying on from that statement, Angeal zeroed in on Sephiroth as he almost interrogated the taller warrior intently. “Are you working for your own sake? Or for his?” Looming over his friend in spite of the fact that Sephiroth was inches taller, Angeal hummed on a deep, warm note, and it flooded Sephiroth with warmth and calm.

“You’ve gone through so many sacrifices, and believe it or not, it wasn’t for your own levity and sanity, was it?”

Glancing down weakly at his hands, Sephiroth sputtered in disbelief when he saw the representation of the Black Materia in its spherical shape. The object danced and hovered half an inch above his palm, taunting and crying out to him. Clutching at it before it disappeared from his sights, again, he whimpered like a starved, ailing man when his fingers fell through thin air.

The materia was gone. No…it’d been completely expurgated, even from his desires…

“That’s right; you never wanted it, did you?” Angeal tried goading, eyes flitting over Sephiroth’s face, expectant and hopeful.

Biting back his anger, Sephiroth trembled as he snidely spat, “I d-didn’t, but I n-needed Cloud for—”

For what? Could he even bring himself to admit it so openly and freely?

Tapping on his own temple, Genesis drawled lazily, “Think about it carefully, Sephiroth.”

“You put Cloud through many difficult, terrible ordeals, but why? To stop right before you’ve reached your goal, now?” Angeal finished in a light question, not really appearing as though he was even interested in obtaining an answer.

Both deceased friends of his clutched at one of his shoulders as they stood close to him while he spasmodically convulsed in terror. Though he was in excruciating amounts of pain, Sephiroth was grateful. He didn’t have to go through this alone; he _had_ people who cared for him, and Cloud was right.

Cloud had always been right…always seeking his best interest…

With a husky whisper, Angeal purred in his right ear, “Remember, Sephiroth…remember well.”

Additionally, in a mysterious coo, Genesis drawled in his left ear, “If you want to have a hopeful chance out of this, Sephiroth, then remember what you need to remember, now…”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

He was finally free. After five cold, harsh years spent in solitude, Sephiroth knew the soul bond had finally taken effect when he grew stronger. The scales were tipped and balanced in his favor, finally.

Cloud grew weaker, lending him his infinite strength. Sephiroth of course never told him what truly was going on. That secret was something he kept to himself as he conversed with Cloud mentally and telepathically.

Strangely, Sephiroth had considered and entertained in his own mind that they were sharing their own secretive communication methods. No one would understand, no one would be able to intrude on their world, and no one would catch on.

Well, he had his doubts regarding the young Cetra. She always lurked around, a suspicious glint in her demure eyes whenever she stared at Cloud, directly. If the wench knew more, she wasn’t letting on, and she kept it all to herself.

Damn Cetra…they were too powerful and too in tune with the planet. Always sensing far more than they should’ve been.

Sephiroth vowed to tolerate it and put up with anything else Cloud and Avalanche threw his way. Protecting them in spite of not being so positively inclined, he’d saved a few members on more than one occasion, observed them, lingered near them, and put up with their tedious chatter. He’d bore it all well…for Cloud…for the end result, for his ultimate prize.

Once the mark had settled deeper and deeper into Cloud’s skin, marring his thoughts and heart, Sephiroth also felt changes stirring within himself. He couldn’t take his eyes off the blonde for even a moment’s worth. It all became gradually worse with time, and since they’d connected and linked their souls in the most intimate of ways, Sephiroth’s fate had been sealed.

He was trapped, and he was doomed eternally to this youth and his less than precocious whims. Why had they even looped their souls?

Once Cloud gave his memories to Sephiroth and opened himself up to the older male, Sephiroth was not only suffering, but he was at a total loss for what to do. How could he proceed with his plans, now? Cloud had revealed to him, right then and there, that he’d missed his friends. People cared for him, people desired him, and he sacrificed as much as he could for them.

Even in their deaths and final memories, Cloud still remained vigilant, loyal, and entirely devoted. His dedication impressed Sephiroth and soon moved him deeply. He’d never seen anything like this, before. All he’d known and come to learn as a top-ranking SOLDIER was that detachment and a cold demeanor would render him successful, and it was all he’d practiced in his time.

He’d been so detached and divorced from the real world, hadn’t he? Simply observing Cloud the moment the spry, energetically charged youth had arrived in Wutai Village was enough to prove to Sephiroth that he was quite badly out of touch with reality. He’d missed years and years…watching the glorious banquets, the divine feasts, hearing the sounds of laughter, the cacophony of good will, jokes, as well as social bonding through story sharing was enough to render him at a total loss.

Cloud fit in, here. Without even trying hard, he made friends wherever he went, he grew accustomed to social life, and he was included and wanted by many.

But what about Sephiroth? What did he have? Where was his home?

He immediately recalled being honest with the group he’d once led through Nibelheim. As embarrassing as it was, the moment had indeed been quite cathartic for himself. For Sephiroth, it was one of his most honest, most open, and most vulnerable memories. To lay himself bare like that in front of people much lesser than he was…how unusual…what drew it out of him in the first place?

He always wanted what he never had, but wasn’t that a human trait? Wasn’t that a limitation?

The weaknesses began overwhelming the fierce warrior, but it was the price he had to pay for as he slowly returned to himself. Over the years, he’d forgotten what it meant to be mortal. Foolish of himself, really, but as his vessel grew weaker, he was growing stronger. The balance would be worth it, in the end, and this was another process, another ‘stage’ required to push Sephiroth closer and closer to his ultimate end goal.

Mentally, he’d steeled and encased himself in his fortress of protection, setting up the barriers when he sensed he was getting too close and personal with Cloud. There were risks involved when in a soul bond, and he was aware of them all. However, he hadn’t expected for them to turn unto him and trap him.

Taking his distance and separating himself from Cloud didn’t work for long. Soon, he heard everything the annoying youth was thinking of, but Sephiroth hadn’t indeed been expecting for Cloud Strife, of all people on Gaia to be openly pleasuring himself in a Wutai Onsen.

As anyone else would, Sephiroth initially suspected he was dreaming when he first stumbled on the obscene image. He was loathed to admit it, even to himself, but when he’d connected with Cloud’s essence in the Shinra Mansion for the first time, his body had reacted more than he thought it would.

After the event, Sephiroth was mortified and disgusted with himself to discover how his flesh had responded even to Cloud’s voice.

Deplorable.

The execrable erection he’d had to fight to hide from Cloud the entire time had sprung from nowhere. The signs of it all started when Sephiroth lay Cloud flatly on his back and rested over his smaller frame. It was…liberating, exciting, and quite appealing to Sephiroth. He’d never experienced anything like this, before, and he wasn’t prepared for handling the ramifications and desires of own lecherous his body.

There was just something warm and beautiful about peering down into those mako-infused, diffident eyes and seeing the passion flitting all over Cloud’s handsome face.

Their eyes met a few times, and there was no resistance. Sephiroth had to shift deliberately so Cloud wouldn’t ever come to know about his arousal, and he was truly disgusted with himself for that. When Cloud had been returned to Wutai Village, Sephiroth’s overheated body soothed itself, and he ignored that incident as an isolated event. It likely wouldn’t ever repeat itself…

…Yet it most certainly had when he heard Cloud chanting his name. At first, he’d assumed the young man was incessantly calling for him, and Sephiroth had been less than chuffed with this version of a reticent summoning. However, the moment he arrived, hovering and wavering in the darkness, in the shadows across the Onsen, he realized that Cloud’s chants were pants and cries of sexual tension.

The youth was obviously engaging in a private session. Sephiroth knew he had to leave, respectfully. There was nothing to see and enjoy, here, but his curiosity ate away at himself too soon.

What was Cloud thinking about? He wanted to take a brief look behind the veil…one tiny peek wouldn’t hurt…

When he of course had done so, Sephiroth wished he hadn’t. Cloud had been fantasizing about him! Cloud Strife was sexually fantasizing about Sephiroth! It was difficult to digest, but there was no need for contemplation! He’d seen what lingered in the young Avalanche member’s mind, and Sephiroth was genuinely stunned. Had someone drenched and doused him in ice-cold water? It felt like it, truly. Gooseflesh kissed his skin, and for the first time in many, many years, he was absolutely puzzled.

Who would’ve thought that Cloud Strife had such an active, colorful imagination? For a virginal, pure individual, the boy indeed had quite the fantasy going. Sephiroth was beyond shocked, as he’d hardly thought of such unspeakable things. He wasn’t a blind fool or a total nonce, however. He understood what sexual intimacy and intercourse was, but he had no idea how vividly Cloud dreamed of such matters.

Baffled, the One Winged Angel decided to stick along and observe. When Cloud achieved an orgasm, Sephiroth not only thought it was the most beautiful sight to see, but the way the young blonde had shouted his name so wantonly was enrapturing and mesmeric, as well.

As graphic as it was, Sephiroth couldn’t help it. Who would be able to turn away? He was already quite addicted to this, and he didn’t care how perverse it was.

He only wanted to see more of what Cloud had to offer.

Lurking in the shadows, it was quite the difficult feat to stay silent and not participate. Sephiroth had always been an observer, but this was impossible. Cloud was walking away from the Onsen, water dripping and gliding off his strong, prominent hips, and his chest, abdomen, and flat stomach were all revealed.

There was nothing to hide and conceal, here. No uniforms, no gloves, no boots. A nude Cloud Strife then paraded over to the indoor shower, washing the remaining suds off himself, and when he turned and exposed the swell of his behind right in front of Sephiroth, the older male had to snap out of it and turn away.

He’d just watched Cloud showering for nearly five minutes…there had to be something wrong with himself. The anomaly was like a tumor in his soul…some sort of sickness, and he had to figure out a way to expunge the destructive, anaerectic reactions and desires. They weren’t welcome, and they weren’t normal. It was only wise and logical to exscind and uproot them at once…only, he soon began procrastinating that when he saw Cloud with his hair fashioned down.

Damn him…when the hell had Cloud Strife grown into such a lovely being? Why was he so beautiful? How was it possible for Sephiroth to be glaring at his enemy, and within a few brief seconds, his glares all morphed into gentle, complacent smiles? Why were transfluent feelings and passion for this young thing weaving and coiling about like a ball of yarn in his mind?

Why was he attracted to this brat?! How could it be?!

Unlike Cloud, Sephiroth didn’t specifically feel offended due to the gender of the individual he was drawn to and quickly growing to care for. Whenever Sephiroth had gazed at Cloud nude or entirely clothed, he felt desire and warmth pooling into his loins and his mind. He didn’t fixate and obsess over Cloud’s physical attributes, however. That didn’t push his attraction forth one way or another, specifically.

Though he wasn’t certain whether it was the bond’s doing to create such an attraction stirring about within his mind and heart, Sephiroth didn’t think twice about notions of gender when he reflected on sexual intimacy.

Pleasure was pleasure. It had no limits, and it had no boundaries for himself, personally. It was Cloud’s spirit and personality he felt drawn to above all else, and he knew he could confirm it when he considered that had Cloud been a female, yet possessed the same traits and characteristics, he would care and be drawn to him much the same, regardless.

This was an attraction based not on lust, but on personality and the soul. It was horrifying and excruciating.

Pushing Cloud away wasn’t going to work. He needed the youth close at all times, and while their cohabitation in the Shinra Mansion had sealed that, Sephiroth soon found that he’d changed, drastically. They both had, quite seriously.

Cloud was no longer temperamental, whiny, demanding, or argumentative. Instead, he reflected more, he concentrated on his lessons and duels, and he was tolerable. Sephiroth also changed rapidly, and unbeknownst to himself, the change wasn’t so drastic and treacherous; it was welcome.

He became far more endearing, patient, gentle, and open to new things. Why, a piece of himself even longed to please Cloud and he could’ve sworn to the gods that anytime Cloud’s approval had been gained, his heart danced and leapt in his chest.

Why did he care so much and place so much value and importance on what Cloud thought and felt? Since when had that become his damn priority?!

Confused, captious, and disgruntled as ever, Sephiroth one night escaped from the manor after checking in on Cloud. The youth was fast asleep in his own private room, curled up beneath the heavy, thick sheets, while a tiny smile was planted on his visage.

Through the cover of dark, Sephiroth crept closer to the bedside, peering down at the sleeping, former infantryman. Cloud looked so serene and peaceful, that Sephiroth felt he had no choice but to reach out and gently play with his sandy-colored locks.

Cloud had stated that he wasn’t fond of such a thing when Sephiroth did it, but now that he had the younger male in his own dreamland, Sephiroth took quick advantage of that. His right hand had snuck its way into Cloud’s messy, unruly mop of hair spread all over his fluffy pillow before he knew it.

Fingertips gently sliding and grazing along the warm scalp, Sephiroth felt at peace. The panicked, nervous beating of his heart stilled into a gentle rhythm, and it only happened each time he was near Cloud and whenever he played with his soft hair. This was much better. He was totally relaxed, and he soon forgot of how hurt he himself had felt when Cloud had been injured in the battle with the puppet ‘Zack’.

Even Sephiroth had to admit that the puppet had gone too far, but that was all out of his control whenever Jenova was involved. Respecting Cloud’s decision not to follow and interfere in his business, Sephiroth had felt the potent, sharp burst of pain in his own shoulder, right in the same spot Cloud had been attacked in. If the vessel was hurt, Sephiroth would be, as well, so the bond perpetuated.

But did he care that his beautiful vessel for the purposes of achieving greatness and elevation had been damaged? Or was he genuinely and sincerely upset over Cloud’s wellbeing?

Difficult to tell, but when Cloud had stayed with him in the Shinra Manor, Sephiroth was truly happy, for once in his damn life. He’d forgotten what happiness was and what it entailed. For so long, he’d spent his days and nights wallowing in his self-perpetuated misery and agony. That had been the ways of his life, and a damn habit.

He couldn’t recognize the first vestiges of happiness when they first appeared, but he could identify each and every single one of them as he flew back to Wutai Village after forcing himself to snatch his hand away from Cloud, lest he wanted to wake him up.

Ease of mind, a hope for tomorrow, the desire to cherish instead of to destroy, the desire for growth and improvement had been the first signs of his happiness sprouting after the dark age he’d suffered through. His pessimistic views and outlook on life was gone, and eerily, he was pondering and ruminating about how to spend more time with his bond-mate. That brought such an easy, full smile to his face and made his stomach feel full as one would after devouring a sensational meal.

This perhaps was happiness…and it was his and Cloud’s.

Sephiroth hadn’t the faintest of clues what he’d been seeking when he returned to Cloud’s room in Wutai Village. The room was much the same prior to their departure. Outside in the halls, he heard noises and whispers, though nothing important and crucial had been blurted out. He wasn’t going to learn and glean anything from being here, but he didn’t necessarily want that…

A Sephiroth of the past, so heavily focused and intent on revenge and his personal obsessions, would no doubt yearn and strive to achieve anything in order to stay on top and squash his enemies. Anything he could gain as a leg-up, he would exploit and use to his benefit…only, now, at this moment in time, he didn’t even want to think about that. If he did, he found that his heart and stomach blended in a mushy, gooey mass, churning and coiling like a snake in his gut. It hurt and it made himself feel weak and fallible, so he cast it away as he paced through Cloud’s reserved room.

Nothing had been disturbed, and he had to wonder what he was searching for. This could’ve turned into a waste of time, and the inevitable corollary to lingering about in places he wasn’t welcome and wanted in while Cloud was kept alone could’ve ended up detrimental in all ways for them both.

He’d been meaning to take his leave, when something shiny caught his attention so callously. Though he had no time to feel offended, Sephiroth was quite mesmerized and drawn before the gleaming rays bouncing from the moonlight streamed into the cramped room so beautifully.

Was he in a dream?

Sephiroth supposed he had to have been…nothing else in the way of rationality and logic could explain otherwise why in all the lands and worlds he’d traveled for so many lonely years, he thought the single sight of the bright marbles resting in their bag on the futon were radiant and rapturous.

The small, round beads themselves were both punitive and liberating. Sephiroth knew that if he reached out and merely touched one, he would not only become emancipated from his shackles and trepidation, but as he reached a state of generous serendipity, it would be akin to ultimate nirvana…

What did Cloud need these for? They were after all his, weren’t they? Why had he left them behind?

Without thinking of it much, lest he wanted to face conniptions, Sephiroth scooped the small bag off the futon.

The bag was long forgotten when Cloud entertained himself by challenging him to ‘duels’. A playful sort, he still was…much like a foolish puppy. Sephiroth entertained him, and too much time flew by that way as they engaged in light conversation about their days in the Company. Sephiroth however never said more than he needed to, and whenever Cloud tried prying deeper, he would politely excuse himself for the night.

This wasn’t done all intentionally. Cloud had to discover things for himself, but Sephiroth would’ve been deluding himself if he thought he wasn’t trying to avoid his own secretive, painful past. There wasn’t much within that dark realm to ensorcell himself, personally, but Sephiroth was quite enchanted and fascinated by just how much Cloud wanted to know.

A distraction from their perpetual training soon delivered itself right into their laps. Cloud wanted to see the sunset on the hills and in the meadows not too far away from the Shinra Mansion. Sephiroth permitted it, wanting to keep the psychological and emotional state of his vessel healthy and happy.

But it became so much more than that, and he was slowly starting to see and feel it.

Cloud wasn’t an object. Each time he caught the youth staring at him beneath the starry night sky, thinking he wouldn’t be noticed, Sephiroth’s heartbeat picked up in pace. It was all too endearing to be real. He never thought Cloud Strife would gaze at him as though he owned the sun and the moon, but sure enough, he was.

The night passed too quickly for the One Winged Angel’s tastes. If he had the power to do it, he would’ve remained locked in the memory of sitting with Cloud so freely and openly in the meadow. He’d wanted many times to join their hands together, but he was fearful that it would terrify the younger man.

Did Cloud want to hold hands or exchange anything else in the ways of physical intimacy? Sephiroth didn’t think so, but the way the youth’s flesh grew erubescent seemed to suggest otherwise.

Jenova be damned…Gaia be damned…

Right when he’d been searching through his disorganized thoughts on ways to find the perfect excuse so he could touch and kiss Cloud, the young man boldly leaned into him, heat spreading across Sephiroth’s cold flesh. In the blink of an eye, hot lips descended swiftly over Sephiroth’s right cheek, and the briefest of kisses had been planted right in the middle of his flesh.

It’d ended before it even begun. Sephiroth had never been both disappointed and utterly delighted in his entire life at the same time. Both those emotions wavered, each battling and conflicting with the other until he settled on the burning desire to finally touch Cloud.

When he pressed the palm of his hand onto Cloud’s sternum, Sephiroth could hear the younger man’s heart throbbing so loudly…it was singing to him…calling out for him…

A steady heart was the remedy, and the answer. Initiating physical contact only worsened his growing desire for the adolescent he’d assumed he’d despised for so long. Those thoughts were gone the moment Sephiroth placed Cloud’s trembling hand over his thrumming heart and then repeated the gesture with his own hand.

It was the first of many lovely, auspicious moments to come…

A breathy whisper in his ear hovering and beating against his feverish skin like the wings of a butterfly roused him out of his musings.

A wry smile on Genesis’ face greeted him when Sephiroth turned and faced his friend’s wiry form. The redhead snickered fiendishly as he blurted in a messy coo, “You focus too much on the positive, Sephiroth. Do you not remember what else you put that poor boy through? Or do you think you can assuage your guilt by pretending that you did nothing wrong? Hmm?”

Trembling violently, the tremors coursed through his bones, coiling in the pit of his guts like a disease he wanted to vomit out until he’d purged himself of its poisonous bile. In disgust, Sephiroth glumly hissed, “I’m not denying wh-what I did…I j-just need—”

“More time?” Finishing his sentence for him with a droll headshake, Angeal reasoned, “Sephiroth, time isn’t something you have, here. This _is_ after all, the end. What will you do?”

Glaring back and forth between his two ghostly companions, Sephiroth hated that they were right. More than this, he despised and strongly loathed with a passion that the tides had been turned on himself, now. The questions had been flung at him, putting him in a dangerously awkward position. Under any other normal circumstance, Sephiroth would’ve slaughtered without any trace of forgiveness, remorse, or pity in his heart if someone questioned him this way. However, now, Cloud’s life was in danger, and he’d long since buried the importance of his own over-inflated ego.

His eyeballs stung, and he instinctively shut them. Without his control, he once again slipped into his memories, facing them head-on regardless of whether he wanted to.

Solitude and isolation weren’t as rewarding and enticing as they once were. After his outing with Cloud, Sephiroth found he didn’t want to be left alone, nor did he want to leave Cloud by himself. He was aware that they had little time together, and he yearned to spend most of his time with the youth. Still, duty called, and Sephiroth was drawn to himself as he tried understanding what the clone was up to, as well as how he could detach himself from Jenova.

He longed for gaining his identity, independence, and personal will back. Jenova had exerted far too much control and power over him, and now that he was tied to Cloud, Sephiroth didn’t wish to harm his bond-mate accidentally or otherwise. All his energy had been used for developing new plans on how to keep Cloud in the dark, ensuring his protection and safety.

Due to his distracted mind, Sephiroth hadn’t paid attention to Cloud. The curious youth wandered throughout the mansion, much to Sephiroth’s dismay. Though he hadn’t warned the adolescent against that, he found his impatience and anger rising when he noticed that Cloud had slipped out of his room and traveled to the basement of the Shinra Mansion.

Of all places to be…of course, Cloud Strife would venture into the one and only place he wasn’t supposed to wander in. This most significant place housed Sephiroth’s darkest secret, and he wanted to keep that from Cloud.

But why? Hadn’t the basement of the Shinra Mansion awakened Sephiroth from the state of his own burdens and shackles? Hadn’t his acquisition of the truth and knowledge over what had been done to him emancipated himself from his captors and demonic keepers? It had after all helped him realize his true worth and real potential, but Cloud didn’t need to see that.

The segments and parts of himself that were still human, and those ugly parts Sephiroth never wanted to acknowledge as existing ever again were buried, there. Cloud had walked right into one, and it was much too late for Sephiroth to stop him. The infernal memory had to pass along its course once it’d begun.

Now, together, both Sephiroth and Cloud had to stand by and observe. Sephiroth had already lived through this. He faintly recalled the exact event Cloud was now watching closely with so much zeal and focus, but as it all moved along, Sephiroth felt the pieces knocking into his skull profoundly.

Everything had been tied to this young man. As he observed and took in the private memory, Sephiroth recalled it more and only due to watching Cloud’s reactions intently. Sephiroth wasn’t targeting whatever was happening in the memory of his youth; he was only interested in Cloud’s reactions. They told him a great deal, and the young man taught the senior, ex-top SOLDIER everything he needed to know.

Instead of running, Sephiroth followed Cloud through every step of his discovery. Together, they both saw Sephiroth’s own past through a new lens, and it truly shocked the older male as much as it did for Cloud.

He had once trudged on slowly, passing through the maze of hallways and corridors leading to different parts of the underground facility. He recalled being stopped in front of a massive, black metal door, by none other than many Shinra scientists. One of them slowly reached into his lab coat pocket to pull out a card. Carefully, he then swiped his I.D. card on a gray slot, after which, his fingers glided deftly across the numbered keypad, entering the secret code.

Obediently and silently, Sephiroth always waited patiently until the doors opened, and until they dragged him wherever they needed him to go. For years, this had been a way of life for the silver-haired youth. It was all he’d known; being experimented on, trained, disciplined…he accepted it, and he accepted the opinions of all the Shinra doctors and scientists.

One man in particular always stood out to him, however…Professor Hojo. Sephiroth had once considered him an uncle or father figure. He told him about his mother, Jenova. The tales were always sad and curious to the young man as a child, but he’d never questioned Professor Hojo. He’d never been taught and trained to do that. His purpose back then had been to obey, no matter what he felt in his heart. 

The heavy doors cracked open, sliding sideways to reveal a dark, ominous room. It served as a hall for the Shinra archives and contained unnamed specimens the Company had acquired over the years.

Now much older and not so innocent to the dark machinations and happenings of the Company he’d been so loyal to, Sephiroth shivered involuntarily. Now inside the dark room, he felt reduced to his childhood years. As he remembered it all perfectly, this place never failed to frighten him as a youngster without experience.

There was something eerie lurking in the shadowy corners of the immense storage room, something he did not want to encounter. He felt its presence a while back but never mentioned it to Professor Hojo. Sephiroth wasn’t supposed to complain; he had been made for achieving supreme greatness, and he didn’t need to be ridiculed by the bastard Dr. Hollander. Already, he’d been mocked, enough.

Yes, he was willing to silently tolerate all this madness…for Cloud…for a better future…for their world ‘ascending’ to the Kingdom of the gods.

He’d only wanted to absterge and absolve himself of Mother and all the wrongdoings of his past. Was that such a crime? Was he to be eternally damned with the knowledge that he’d been too late to try and fix things?

Red anger. Blinding anger. The more Cloud learned about him through his memories, the further into impatience and annoyance Sephiroth slipped. This wasn’t supposed to happen. At the most, he’d highly anticipated for the blonde youth to witness the memory, run away in cowardice and fear, and never speak with him again.

Of course, Cloud Strife just had to go and subvert his expectations, proving him wrong at every hour of the day, didn’t he?

There was no fear in the youth’s heart or soul; openly, he accepted his past, he made peace with it, and Sephiroth shuddered when he felt and saw how much love streamed forth from Cloud each and every time he gazed at a younger version of Sephiroth in the memory. The ways in which the young man was observing him truly disturbed Sephiroth. He hadn’t known much love in his own life, and yet now, Cloud was smothering him with it to the point of drowning him.

Suffocating…he couldn’t stand it. The boy needed to be punished, and even though it tore Sephiroth apart from every limb and shattered his body into a thousand pieces, it was what he felt he needed to do. Cloud was going to destroy him.

No one should have seen this, not even Sephiroth, himself. To expose himself to such an emotionally charged memory only proved to the silver-haired warrior that not only had he once been human and capable of feeling things, but he’d previously also cared for others and placed them above his own plans and concerns.

He’d suppressed and buried this away for a long time, and now, he was confronted brazenly by his own past. Cloud was going to be the death of him…the premonition was as clear as day, and Sephiroth had to stop him.

Yes, cruelty had its purpose in the world. At a special time and place, perhaps he wasn’t the evil one for locking Cloud away, battling with him, ignoring him, and speaking to him so sternly.

How could he be the one who was wrong? How could he end Cloud’s life? This was a test, and Sephiroth had welcomed it into his life with open arms.

Dreariness suffocated himself as he called his young bond-mate to the clocktower, and under the guise of using the duel as a form of punishment, Sephiroth carried out one final test.

Someone had to die. Now, while they had a chance, they could set this right. Either Cloud would be able to defeat him, achieving what Avalanche had wanted this entire time, or Sephiroth could cut off the bond, absolving himself of his growing guilt for using the younger male in such a barbaric way.

Deliberately, he’d allowed himself to be bested in combat, but it wasn’t a matter of pride and dignity for Sephiroth, anymore. He wanted Cloud to finish him…dear Gaia, he hadn’t realized it fully at the time, but he’d deeply desired for Cloud to behead him, to squash him deeply into the ground, and to erase all traces of his pathetic existence. If he had to perish, he wanted it to be done by Cloud’s hand, and he wished for Cloud to deliver the killing blow.

Stooping low in his combat, namely to frustrate the fiery blonde so much that he would end up losing his nerve and ending Sephiroth’s life, the tall One Winged Angel berated, mocked, chided, admonished, and bullied his junior. All to get a damn rise out of him…because he knew he wasn’t capable of harming Cloud. He’d failed from his end, but perhaps Cloud wouldn’t.

Cloud had greedily devoured all the chances and openings Sephiroth had provided for him. The One Winged Angel ceased fighting back, lying helplessly on the ground. The fight was over when he saw Cloud storming over to him, Buster Sword drawn back over his head, hanging in the air like a deadly ax ready to be brought down swiftly.

Good. Let it end here…let it finally be over and done with. Sephiroth could at least die with a smile on his face, and with love in his heart.

Cloud disappointed him, yet again. He should’ve known better than to put all his trust and confidence in the youth with the golden heart. Damn this boy. Damn him. Why couldn’t he just end their suffering? Why wouldn’t he do what needed to be done?

The moment Cloud set his weapon down, weeping like a distraught child as he cradled Sephiroth in his arms, rocking him back and forth gently and slowly in a lull, Sephiroth knew this couldn’t be done alone. Cloud would never kill him, and he couldn’t kill Cloud.

They wouldn’t end each other’s lives; they couldn’t exist without one another. Their souls needed to be part of the same realm, spinning and churning together in one eternity, the fabric of reality dependent on the other for life to continue.

They were both eternally damned.


	46. Portrait of the Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter, but I prefer it this way than stretching stuff out for another 30 chapters.  
> Anyway, this all covers Sephiroth’s thoughts each and every time he made love to Cloud, when they shared their first kiss, when Sephiroth noticed he was falling in love with Cloud, and right to the night when Cloud left the Shinra Mansion and claimed he heard ‘laughter’.

Gingerly touching his wrist, Sephiroth couldn’t help but smile fondly when he felt the marble bracelet resting on his right hand. Glancing down at it to confirm its presence, he let out a deeply relieved sigh.

This wasn’t a dream; the gleaming of the shiny beads bouncing into his retinas told him so. Cloud had returned this to him after…after the clone had cast it aside…the damn puppets never cared for maudlin notions, trinkets, tokens, or anything else which held emotional value. They were too detached from anything personal, memorable, and meaningful in the ways of symbols.

That was always one way to differentiate between himself and his broken, disjointed memories, after all. Jenova was using his consciousness and remnants of his previous life after they both fell into the Lifestream, mixing and blending. Jenova fed off Sephiroth’s cognizant memories and feelings to channel the parasite and drain the planet. He was Jenova’s vessel, and Jenova had been the life source for some time.

Yes, as he’d assumed, his one and only purpose had been nothing short of a scientific curiosity. He was a damn lab rat running in a maze, and this immutable fact couldn’t be refuted, ever. It was a law of nature, and he’d even given up repudiating it.

Like a tumor, Jenova grew off him, extending from whatever memory he had, whatever piece of hope left over. She bastardized and corrupted it, using any segment he had left to warp and twist the events and to trick both Sephiroth and anyone else into carrying out her bidding. Of course, this was a matter of history repeating itself. The Ancients had suffered through this, and he knew he didn’t have much of a chance the longer he put up his barriers.

But for how long was he expected to continue living as the misanthropic, ostracized one? Did he have to remain the pariah for all time?

Yes, he needed Cloud’s help. The longer Jenova remained present, the worse it was becoming. Danger had been presented to the planet, the cosmos, and the purity of the Greater Lifestream was at stake if he didn’t act quickly. Jenova was growing stronger, but so was he. When Cloud grew weaker, Sephiroth became stronger. There was always a hefty price to pay, and this time, the guilt outweighed any promise of future glory.

Jenova still was linked to him, and from everything Sephiroth had learned after reading and studying notes and old archives stored away in the Shinra Mansion’s basement, so long as he had the Jenova cells within himself, there would never be a way plausible to purge Jenova. He couldn’t do this alone; Jenova was always present, always watching, always observing. Nothing could be hidden away, and soon, Jenova would use the clone to gain access to Cloud’s powers.

If Cloud was corrupted, then they had nothing left. All the hopes rested in Cloud, and the innocent young man wasn’t even aware of it.

Tormented once again by guilt, Sephiroth always vowed to keep his junior bond-mate safe and within a close distance. He abhorred the fact that he was spying on Cloud, but he went on with his plans in the hopes that Cloud could one day find it in himself to forgive him…

…Did he even deserve his forgiveness?

_He’d been pondering it maddeningly and obsessively back then, so much that he hadn’t even heard Cloud walk in the large dining room. Sephiroth had been ruminating everything troubling his mind as he’d sequestered himself in various rooms._

_Though keeping himself physically separate from Cloud had initially calmed and stilled his nerves, his soul, mind, and heart were always with Cloud. They could never be divided, so it seemed, and he felt each of Cloud’s burdens and took them on as his own. They weren’t annoying, importunate issues; they were his own problems, and he identified with their priorities, now._

_Now, he was ready to serve Cloud, to be there at his every beck and call in order to always meet the shorter man’s needs as he should have._

_The last thing in the world Sephiroth had been expecting was for Cloud Strife to be offering him a gift. The way in which the brazen youth had done so truly left Sephiroth feeling even more stunned than ever before. The effrontery wasn’t offensive, harsh, or even a glimmer of impudence. In fact, when Cloud awkwardly blushed as he referred to the gift as ‘shit’ accidentally, Sephiroth knew he was becoming more enamored with the youth._

_How could he prevent it or slow it down? Like a great ocean wave, it had to run its course, likely sweeping and carrying him far off away into the open sea where anything was possible, where monsters were to be feared and faced, and he wasn’t sure whether he would survive._

_This was love…risks were all fair in love, and Sephiroth had accepted the perilous design._

_Keeping his private worries and thoughts to himself had been difficult, but Cloud shifted his focus on where he wanted the bracelet to be placed. And what a lovely bracelet it was, indeed._

_No one had ever crafted him something this personal and beautiful, before. This was created out of love, respect, and the need to cherish him. Cloud was communicating in his own ways that he did care for Sephiroth, that he wanted him, and that he wished for them to be a part of each other’s lives. This was commitment…this was indeed unconditional love._

_The next thing he remembered was Cloud zealously placing the radiant bracelet onto his right wrist. Sephiroth had purposefully chosen that placement for such a grand gift. Wanting to keep it as far away from the hand that had been responsible for so much bloodshed was only natural. He needed and wanted to preserve the gift’s honor; to preserve and protect Cloud’s honor._

_From then on, Sephiroth personally vowed to always keep Cloud happy, protected, and to do whatever he could to shelter him in the ways the world should’ve sheltered anyone pure and worthy. He could become Cloud’s family…he would become Cloud’s guardian._

“Sephiroth, what do you suppose true sacrifice is?”

Eyes glued to the bracelet as though it would fall off or sprout wings and fly away at once, Sephiroth rubbed and stroked the bracelet as one would a pet. Grinning lazily and fondly as his fingers moved around the band of the object, he prodded and poked at one bead randomly. It felt so round and large against his grip. Eyes tracing it, he compared it to the world they were on…their planet, so broken, so fragile, so ill…

He had to purge himself and the Greater Lifestream of Jenova. Once again, he was reminded of his duties, and his hopes in regard to Cloud fell at his feet like dust in the wind.

Lifting a finger tentatively as he circled them, Genesis answered, “I believe that sacrifice is what the young woman…the…oh, I forgot her name…” Shrugging nonchalantly, he continued, “…It doesn’t matter, anyway. What matters is that she has great love and great sacrifice.”

Understanding the references clear as day, Sephiroth frowned as his eyes searched the flood and disarray of his maddening thoughts. “The Ancient? Aerith?”

“Yes. See? They are connected. You can’t have one without the other, Sephiroth.”

As pointed and frustrating as Genesis was acting in order to make his damn point, Sephiroth couldn’t bring himself to lash out. The blasted man had a point. A solid, undeniably logical and unflawed point, at the very end.

What was love without sacrifice? What was sacrifice without love?

“I have honor,” he exclaimed as he held onto the bracelet, squeezing it tightly and pushing the beads into his flesh. “I wouldn’t b-betray someone, and I never did thus far with Cloud.”

The clone ‘27’ had got to Cloud well before he could’ve. Already, operating under Jenova’s influence was deadly in and of itself. The puppet was difficult to track and keep a close eye on, and with Cloud drawing attention unto himself, it became even more difficult. Sephiroth remembered that Cloud was his own person, and he was a unique individual who wanted his own things.

Watching him with narrowed, intense eyes, Angeal whispered, “What do you suppose Cloud wants most, Sephiroth?”

Oh, the guesswork. The answers and possibilities were endless. It wasn’t a question to be asked, yet one the renowned SOLDIER often harped on from time to time.

Searching through his inflamed mind and sensitive thoughts, Sephiroth proposed, “Perhaps he wants closure…answers for his questions, just like anyone else.”

Shaking his head in blatant disagreement and disapproval, Genesis demurred with a grim expression, “No…the answers you gave him weren’t even the right ones.”

“He didn’t ask the right questions!” Sephiroth hadn’t meant to fire back in an attack, but the moment he shouted this objection, he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.

Angeal and Genesis immediately shrank and winced as they exchanged awkward glances. Shifting their weight from their toned legs, they stood with their arms crossed, expressions bland and rigid.

Unyielding in his own stubborn way, Sephiroth thought about it once more before he tried again. “Perhaps he desires a home…a real family. That was taken away from him.”

Yes…he hadn’t left Cloud or anyone else with much of a choice, even when the bond had been initiated. How could he accoy his partner, now? How could he erase all the damage he’d personally caused?

Eyebrows furrowed and twitching with pain slamming into his body and erupting all over his heart, Sephiroth weakly cried, “No…h-he just wants one trace of normalcy. He just wants to live…as all creatures deserve to…”

_He remembered their arguments, each and every single one of them. Though they were all vile and terrible to the point where he wished they’d never occurred in the first place, Sephiroth’s mind traced back to the very last one. It’d been by far their worst, and it’d happened right before he’d taken Cloud to bed for the very first time._

_Their future was at stake, and Cloud wished to eliminate all risks so they could become…what? A happy couple that held hands as they wandered about the busy, bustling streets of Midgar? Or perhaps they would journey and travel all throughout Costa del Sol so that they could do what? Would they retire early to Wutai Village and live happily ever after?_

_‘There is no such thing…real happiness isn’t what I’m owed,’ he thought to himself in such dreary manners that it was suffocating. He soon abandoned that thought and instead focused on his target; obtaining Cloud in every way possible. That bit and bled well into their tenacious argument, so much that it plagued Sephiroth_ _in_ _typhogenic ways for days upon days, and nights upon nights. He’d never had to suffer from nightmares before, but even now, Cloud’s hateful voice rang in his ears like a death knell he couldn’t escape from._

_On the verge of begging and pleading, Sephiroth held onto the bracelet his bond-mate had skillfully fashioned and gifted him with. Chasing after Cloud as he tried calming his junior partner down, Sephiroth stated earnestly, “Just give me a few more days, and then I’ll explain everything to you, Cloud, everything!”_

_Realistically, he knew that nothing in the way of time, no matter how much of it he could bend and give would be enough to prepare the youth for hearing the truth he was more than owed._

_Rightfully angrier than a harsh storm, Cloud stomped about past the library, slamming the doors after himself. It sounded akin to the doors of a tomb being sealed off…_

_Waving his hands frantically, a frenzied and uptight Cloud roared atop his lungs, “I want this shit over with, NOW! Why’s that so tough to understand, Sephiroth?! Why can’t things just be normal with you? Huh?!”_

_Desperation took over, and Sephiroth found himself whining, “Don’t be like this! Just—”_

_“Well, then.” Cloud’s interruption sounded like that settled the matter. Which, to him, it probably did. He’d matured a lot since the years when they’d been in the Shinra Electric Power Company, Sephiroth noticed._

_When had Cloud Strife grown into such a brave young man?_

_Not yet giving up, Sephiroth kept up with his new burst of speed as he cried out fervidly at Cloud’s turned back, “A few days, and then we can move beyond this and be together like you want! I promise!”_

_Midway up the grand stairs, Cloud’s shoulders and neck grew stiff and rigid. Perhaps someone had petrified or struck him with freezing flashes of lightning. Trembling violently, he slowly turned about, and when he faced Sephiroth, the One Winged Angel knew that it’d been quite a long time since he’d ever witnessed someone so passionate with fury._

_Beyond skeptical of what he’d heard, Cloud’s eyeballs popped out as he bunched his fists together tightly at his sides. Shoulders broad as his chest stuck out, he dipped his head down as he’d been standing on the fifth step, giving him an odd advantage of height against Sephiroth._

_“Promise?!”_

_The way he’d reiterated the word sent herculean shockwaves up and down Sephiroth’s spine. Cloud looked like he could murder someone right about now, but the older warrior truthfully couldn’t blame the younger male for feeling this way._

_Not finished, yet, Cloud, who was far beyond placating, shrieked like a monster. “Promise?! Oh, don’t you DARE use that word with me, Sephiroth! You promised you’d let me discover things for myself, you promised me you’d tell me what’s going on, here, you promised me that together, we could achieve something!”_

_Spinning around like a vicious tornado, he waved a hand dismissively in the air as he took to ascending the steps again carefully. “Your…your promises don’t mean anything.”_

_Knowing his junior was absolutely correct to reprehend him, Sephiroth tried following him as he offered tentatively, “Just wait for a minute! I was conveniently planning to—”_

_Once again, he had to shut his mouth when Cloud rounded on him far too quickly for a reaction time. Hatred, blood, and fire all mingled and combined in his eyes to shoot deadly lasers right into Sephiroth’s heart._

_“Convenient?! What’s this, then?! An inconvenience now to YOUR plans?!” Nearly lunging at his older partner, Cloud finished bombastically, “Can’t you ever think of anyone or ANYTHING else but yourself?!”_

_Though that had been a rather vile, deplorable argument, even in the midst of it all, Sephiroth held no ill will for Cloud Strife. His feelings hadn’t changed._

_It wasn’t adventitious, his falling in love with the infantryman-turned-SOLDIER. How could he not cater to his blossoming feelings after the time they spent together, the conversations they shared, the minor pleasantries, their battles, their shared memories, as well as their reluctance to become closer?_

_The more they struggled and fought against it, the further they both fell, but Sephiroth knew he’d fallen the fastest and hardest the night Cloud bestowed upon his right cheek the softest, most delicate of kisses._

_It’d happened, however, and he wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking otherwise. He’d been faced with total wreckage and adynamia when Cloud’s lips pressed into his flesh. Though Sephiroth considered himself a bastion of control and reservations, there wasn’t a way to escape the feelings once they flooded in._

_The bond…the damn bond wasn’t even to blame, not this time._

_The last kiss they’d shared was chaste. Tentative. Nothing like the passion Sephiroth had imagined and dreamed of countless times before. But it still sucked the marrow from his bones, and he knew that was Cloud’s intense feelings riveting into his own._

_When he’d had the pleasure of hearing Cloud whimper for him, it nearly destroyed Sephiroth. That simple sound cast Sephiroth into fragments before their lips were brushed together, parting, although clumsily. They didn’t need to exosculate; kissing fervently had no place, now._

_Sephiroth’s mouth found true purchase first, and they both reeled in frenzy. It was exquisite, and they both never wanted it to end; he could feel that when Cloud held his breath, pressed his sternum against his, so much that Sephiroth felt the steady beating of their hearts as one._

_In, out, in out…their breathing became synchronized, their minds were connected, and their souls were two halves of one whole. This had been ordained since the beginning…their fate had already been stamped and sealed together. Anytime he inhaled, more of Cloud’s essence and spirit revived his dying system. Cloud’s spirit and vitality gave him all he needed, slowly composing Sephiroth one day at a time._

_They both renewed him with vigor he’d longed to taste for decades, but simultaneously shattered him. Sephiroth’s dark world crossed itself. He felt a brief resurgence of the instinct he thought had been lost forever, there and gone again as Cloud’s body twisted to meet his more fully. A spiral into grace rather than a continued fall from it. His throat was burning, tormenting himself with a fire he wouldn’t ever be able to put out._

_Cloud opened his mouth in the slightest way, feeling much more reckless than the actual degree of the action in a surrender to Sephiroth. The older male felt his younger bond-mate take in a sharp breath and then desperately curl into his arms. A fumbling grab at the tip of his pauldrons, and Cloud was pressed right against Sephiroth’s firm chest, the contact never lost._

_He always thought of each and every time he had Cloud pinned like this, comparing it to the various prior incidents of the cold-blooded terror and shattering heartbreak that came with it._

_This time, as afraid of it as he was, he surrendered fully. Sephiroth pulled Cloud in closer, letting his one hand tangle in the hair at the adolescent’s neck, while the other grasped at the small of his back._

_How warm, pliant, and perfect Cloud felt in his arms. They molded and meshed serenely beyond perfection, in fact. Sephiroth was beyond content with this. He’d never been one to ask for anything in his life, and now that the glorious gift that was Cloud Strife had fallen in his lap, he found himself yearning for more._

_If it ended here, then he was willing to finally let it end._

_Wrong and right, lost and found, here, it all began and ended with Cloud. His tempting body and his alluring mouth did wonders and drove Sephiroth insane. A brazen scream after being quiet for so long echoed in his skull, bouncing back and forth. There were tears somewhere around their working lips, and Sephiroth didn’t know whose they were and didn’t care. He tasted them all the same, salt mingling with the new sweetness of Cloud’s innocent kiss tearing him down and building him back up._

_Though the darkest memories lingered, and possibly would exist forever within his mind, Sephiroth often recalled the better ones, especially the evening he’d experienced his first sexual act with Cloud. He’d been so damn nervous, then, but there was no way he was going to openly admit and portray that before Cloud._

_To his mounting frustration, none of the wariness faded from Cloud’s doubtful eyes. The smaller man still looked like a trapped animal determined to gnaw its own foot off to regain its freedom._

_His face steeling with resolve, Cloud began in a deceptively casual tone, “You asked about my experiences with other people, didn’t you?”_

_Charmingly, Sephiroth knew that the youth was truly and purely innocent. Then again, so was he. Keeping his lack of experience to himself, Sephiroth instead chose to focus on pleasing Cloud. Awkwardness and clumsiness had a place in their intimacy, as much as he detested it. Together, they worked around it, surprisingly._

_Sephiroth had remembered to be gentle enough to prepare Cloud, but he lacked foresight and patience. He’d hurt the younger man, but he was selfish enough not to want to cease. When Cloud referred to him bitingly as a ‘coward’, that had been the end of Sephiroth. If he could, he would’ve admitted his feelings right then and there for the youth, but his body took control, effectively smothering whatever it was that’d crept onto the tip of his tongue._

_He never thought he had it in himself to please a lover, but he had. Sephiroth watched with perfect fixation and amusement as Cloud’s face twisted and morphed from anger to that of insane pleasure. And it was all because of him…_

_For the first time in nearly six years, Sephiroth was both proud of his accomplishments, but he also shared something with someone. A new experience wasn’t lacking; it was welcome, and he was thoroughly pleased to be the one seeing Cloud’s indecent face, hearing his lewd cries, feeling his wanton flesh rising over his own._

_Yes, Sephiroth wanted for them to stay together, forever._

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

_“Sephiroth, pleeeaase...ahhhh...” Cloud profusely sobbed as Sephiroth swiftly and passionately lowered over him, hot, liquid suction absorbing his burning shaft. Such noises only served to enable the silver-haired male domineering in every sexual way, eager to please and draw out as many obscene noises and cries from his adolescent bond-mate as he could._

_Though Cloud always had been modest and inobtrusive during their intimate moments, Sephiroth completely prohibited and banished it after he’d taken Cloud’s innocence and shed his own reticence, simultaneously._

_Now that this affair and dangerously seductive dance had begun, how could they stop it?_

_Sephiroth didn’t even know. Before their feelings had blossomed and spiraled out of control, he’d nearly punished himself for kissing and touching Cloud for the first time, ever. It’d been a move he’d pulled on a whim, more so out of frustration and anger. Thereon, passion bled into it, fusing the thin threads weaving between Sephiroth’s mind and heart. The issues and burgeoning mass of problems had been forgotten momentarily when he had Cloud._

_It hadn’t ever been planned, either. Sephiroth couldn’t help it; he’d just wanted to touch the adolescent so badly since the night Cloud’s lips found a perfect spot on his cheek beneath the moon and stars as their witnesses._

_A few times during their exploration and pleasurable moments, Cloud had mistakenly assumed that Sephiroth had already experienced such happenings before and had gone through these memorable stages of one’s sexual life._

_Foolish, indeed. Though he’d never admitted it fully, Sephiroth was just as clueless as Cloud was. After spending all his days and nights within the confined walls and labs of the Shinra Electric Power Company, Sephiroth never gave another person’s body a single thought._

_Not wanting to stand out and prove his own ineptitude in the matter, Sephiroth had always taken Cloud with an air of confidence that was wavering like a weak flag broken at the mast. Careful to never reveal how frightened he was, Sephiroth always masked his confusion at the novelty. It was more enjoyable that way, especially as they learned new ways of achieving pleasure together, day by day becoming more accustomed to one another without even putting in great efforts._

_Cloud’s boisterously passionate cries transformed into desperate mewls of delight as the pleasure rocked through himself, jolting right into Sephiroth’s brain. The ecstasy jarring the skilled warrior simply defied comprehension. His incoherent begging went unnoticed. All he could do was ride the feeling out and hope that it didn’t kill him._

_Sephiroth had truly been pleased when he knelt before Cloud’s open legs, observing with lust brewing in his green eyes as Cloud panted, tugged at the clean sheets, bucking up against his face and nose._

_As always, Sephiroth proved his prowess, even in bed. That night, however, Cloud wanted to be his equal. Now, as his partner, Cloud wanted to bring the same amount of pleasure to Sephiroth as the older male had been bestowing unto his junior’s hungry body._

_And how could Sephiroth say no to Cloud? No matter what the youth did, no matter how angry he often made Sephiroth, the One Winged Angel found it near impossible to chastise and scold the bright youth._

_Tirelessly, Sephiroth and Cloud experimented with many new things, and their pleasure knew no bounds. Eagerly, Cloud was quickly before his legs over his lap, lips and tongue working magic. If Sephiroth could have just one wish for the rest of his life, it would be that this moment should never end._

_Whenever he’d gazed at his lover, Cloud looked like Sephiroth felt, as though every aching, desperate need had been instantly fulfilled with the entrance of the One Winged Angel’s thick cock into his body._

_After one full night of doing this, those initial moments of penetration shouldn’t have come as such a sensual shock for his young lover, but everything was still so physical, so amazingly intense. Cloud had elucidated to him that he’d never felt anything like it, and the older ex-SOLDIER believed him without doubt. The heat of that almost painfully tight channel gripping Sephiroth’s tumescent cock was perfect. Their bodies fit like they’d been made for each other._

_Yet, for all its fiercely erotic rush, there was something incredibly comforting about it, as well. Emotionally, it felt like coming home, like after four centuries of wandering, he’d finally found his way back to the familiar hearth, that welcoming fire that had been forever lost to him all those long years ago._

_But there was so much more to being inside Cloud than the mere physicality of the act. Delightfully, Sephiroth could feel that warm body quivering around and under himself, could feel the sweat running slickly off both their skins, could almost taste the sex in the air he breathed in…none of that was new or in the least unusual. Maybe even the bone-melting tenderness he felt whenever he slid inside Cloud wasn’t particularly noteworthy or extraordinary._

_What was peculiar to intercourse with Cloud was the change in their energy fields, that ever-present buzz that all bond-mates had. When he was thrusting inside Cloud like this so deeply and completely, Sephiroth could feel the flow solidifying between them. He’d never bedded anyone, but he knew he didn’t require years of experience to know that he would never encounter anything like this._

_Sometimes, when he wasn’t even intimate with Cloud, he’d get a definitive sense of it. The power would be sparking around them so strongly that it almost felt like they rocked the barge, but this was even more than that._

_It was as if a conduit for the power that made up their distinctive quickening had opened, allowing their signatures to meld and blend the way their body fluids did. This unique melding added an almost psychic level to sex that Sephiroth had never heard of. It wasn’t as though their consciousnesses were touching, for he couldn’t hear Cloud’s thoughts. Rather, it was more like he was living inside Cloud’s skin for the brief moments they were making love._

_Sometimes, he thought that it might be a holdover from that joint quickening they’d experienced when they’d taken their time to truly link souls the first time Cloud had stayed in the Shinra Mansion. It seemed that maybe the energies they’d inadvertently exchanged at that point were trying to find their way home to their proper bodies, but…the power didn’t stay put. As soon as Sephiroth pulled out of Cloud’s warm flesh, the conduit closed, and the energies rushed back to their respective bodies._

_But right now, those energy circuits were wide open, and Sephiroth was flying high. The freedom and rush of the act was incomprehensible. He felt like Icarus, before the sun melted his wings. He was burning up from the inside out, the pleasure and energy mixing so sharply that it hurt._

_The last time they’d been intimate, Cloud was tight as a vise around him, but still pliant. There was no ripping or tearing, for all that the slickness had given so freely, already. Sephiroth pushed in deeply, pulled all the way out, then drove in home again, discovering the rhythm that was as familiar as that of his own beating heart. His right arm descended Cloud’s shoulder to commandeer that beautiful cock, needing to feel his lover’s pleasure as well._

_The heady lust had slowed them both down some, but at Sephiroth’s first stroke, the sluggish flesh expanded to startling fullness. Even after all this time, Sephiroth understood that for Cloud, it still felt stranger than ever to feel his own shaft stiffen and pulse to life in another man’s hand. His own erections had never seemed a source of wonder to himself, but Cloud’s were._

_Cloud’s mouth was the most incredible luxury he’d ever experienced. The way his partner employed his tongue, the heat, the wetness...all were more than Sephiroth had ever imagined possible. And the suction! He was certain Cloud would draw his hair from the top of his head through his penis with the power of his sucking._

_Cloud had not only awakened every lewd, wanton nerve in his body, but he’d delivered pleasure and the sense of desire to Sephiroth. This way, he felt renewed, revitalized, and invigorated with an ethereal fire kindling in his veins._

_The fire this particular feeling left in his loins was burning up his reserved fighter mind from the inside out. His internal sobbing was constant, now, but where he couldn’t bring himself to weep, Cloud did._

_With tears streaming unnoticed to himself hurtling down his face, Sephiroth watched his young lover’s head bob diligently up and down on his length. The flickering light from the flames in the nearby hearth cast dancing shadows across his partner’s handsome visage, transforming Cloud from solid flesh to the stuff of heightened fantasies._

_As he swallowed Sephiroth’s pulsing cock deeply into his throat time after time whilst stroking him firmly, the older male thought that Cloud looked like some seductive wraith, a breathtakingly handsome incubus who would steal his victim’s very soul through his lovemaking and make all subsequent partners seem bland by comparison._

_Sephiroth knew that Cloud wouldn’t have to work hard for that honor. No mere mortal could ever live up to this, and the young man was truly desirable. Cloud would have no issues finding another partner, as much as it pained Sephiroth to consider that raw, honest fact. It wasn’t the case for himself, however; he instilled far too much fear in the hearts of citizens all across Midgar alone. He wasn’t wanted anywhere; he wasn’t part of any group or family._

_Though he preferred it that way, Sephiroth knew that no one understood him as much as Cloud had. He could search the world far and wide and never find so talented and reasonable a lover. Cloud truly was perfect…he was perfect, and he’d already captured Sephiroth’s interest, heart, and mind, but also, above all else, his soul._

_When that transition had happened went unknown to Sephiroth, and he found he couldn’t care less, especially not when Cloud gently moved on top of him and drew out more pleasure from them both. They collapsed in sweaty heaps against each other, hanging onto their limbs and entangling them as they nearly fell off the edge of the world._

_As for stealing his soul, Cloud already owned it. The youth’s love and gratitude were almost bright enough to eclipse this dizzying rush of pleasure. That Cloud would do this for him, be so enthusiastic in his giving, was a marvel Sephiroth. He’d only ever known disaster with his foes, and especially with this vindictive youth, before._

_Hate had turned into love after some time, and Sephiroth felt it in the ways in which Cloud held onto him. No one had touched him like this. No one had loved him this way. Cloud was the first, and only one who ever would, the older male resolved._

_But they couldn’t be happy and content with that, could they?_

_No, Cloud wanted to go along his journey, on his noble quest for the truth. Sephiroth had learned the truth, before. Through his own experiences, he knew that the acquisition of truth could often be worse than living in the dark. At least in the secrecy of the night, his mind and soul had been at ease. The harsh, garish lights of day and truth were often what broke the strongest of men down, after all._

_Did he really want that for Cloud? Was he really intending to leave his bond-mate in the dark, torturing him with what he could’ve known, enslaving him to a lifetime of serving as an object for glory and power to redeem Sephiroth of his own wrongdoings and injustice?_

_No. The idea sickened the older male for even a moment if he thought on it. Cloud didn’t deserve that. He, like many others, deserved a fair chance, and Sephiroth was ready to let him chase after his answers. Perhaps Cloud wouldn’t ever like the ones he found, but that final choice was his own to make._

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

The wind picked up, blowing back Angeal’s dark hair in the sway and light motions. Genesis trained his gaze on his boots, arms crossed and expressions quite serious. He took on a philosophical stance as he leaned forward, propping an arm beneath his right one and leaning his chin over the back of his hand. Humming randomly, the tune got lost in Sephiroth’s head while he touched his bracelet relentlessly.

“When two souls become one, a flame alighteth,” Genesis drawled as though reciting poetry or a line directly from _Loveless_. Standing around Sephiroth, he continued, “But, thou art made of putrid blood, and darkness befits thee, of course.”

If he truly had to wager, Sephiroth was certain that Genesis for sure was reciting _Loveless_. Eerily, Sephiroth couldn’t recall what act that part was from…his memory hadn’t failed him before, and now, he was stunned and equally stymied.

Dipping his head to one side curiously, Sephiroth asked, “What chapter of _Loveless_ is that verse from?”

Genesis threw him a rather torvous glare as he spat, “It wasn’t from _Loveless_.”

With a barbed, virific snarl, Sephiroth discounted that claim. “No, it’s from that damn play; I’d recognize it anywhere.”

Furious already due to how evasive his friend was acting, Sephiroth dropped his hand away from his bracelet as he roared snidely, “Don’t toy with me, Genesis! Where’s it from?” Fastening his heart and fleeting hopes on obtaining the answer, Sephiroth had been scowling bitterly at Genesis, when Angeal drew himself close.

Surprisingly, he kept a most calm approach and demeanor, pressing a hand in the center of his taller friend’s back in a move of support. When Sephiroth spun around in mild shock, Angeal slowly slid his hand off the other man’s back and rewarded him with a penitent, weak shadow of a smile.

Almost with regret, as though giving him the gravest of news, Angeal calmly informed him, “Sephiroth, he was telling you the truth; it wasn’t from _Loveless_ at all…” The words trailed into the air as Angeal regarded Sephiroth with a contemplative eye.

When Sephiroth’s undivided attention was unto him with a stony resolve that could move mountains, the young man with the ebony-colored hair continued.

“That was a verse as real and true as it gets; spoken from the heart, directly, Sephiroth.”

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

_That night, after they made love multiple times, Cloud slept soundlessly, and, even more importantly, dreamlessly. Not so much as a single nightmare disturbed the youth’s rest. It was only his full conscience that awoke him just before dawn._

_Sephiroth had been at the younger man’s side all night, though only pretending to sleep, as well. The silver light seeping in from the window ran across the large room, creating a ghostly pallor over Cloud’s smooth skin. Sephiroth raised his head and glanced at the mirrors facing the bed. An occasional flash of sparkling teeth or the gleam of his gallionic eyes being the only features definable through the gloom didn’t bode well with himself. The burgeoning reprimand of his own, caustic inner battle was never voiced._

_He both wanted Cloud here, yet he wanted him gone so he wouldn’t get himself hurt._

_He hated this indecisiveness, truly. What were such conflicting thoughts doing here when he needed to be poised and calm?_

_Suddenly, as he’d been lost in his thoughts, Cloud shifted next to him, exhaling deeply as he rolled about, further entangling himself in the thick bundle of sheets. Sephiroth had to grin at that; Cloud wasn’t a light sleeper, so it seemed._

_Almost of its own accord, his right hand rose to cup the cool smoothness of his partner’s uncovered left cheek. For an instant, Sephiroth thought back to right before his shared climax with Cloud. At the time, their gazes were held. With Cloud above him in his lap, Sephiroth had seen the cocky assurance give way to surprise and a fleeting emotion he couldn’t define. It was gone, now, much to the older warrior’s inherent disappointment._

_Fingers flying up and down like butterflies kissing Cloud’s skin, Sephiroth had been pulled out of his thoughts as Cloud turned to bury his face in the cupping hand. After giving the lightly snoring bundle of warmth beside himself a soft kiss, Sephiroth slipped from the bed and crossed to the shadowed bathroom. He didn’t want to make much of a noise as he moved about while Cloud slept, and he resorted to staying silent as he half closed the door and stood before the large sink and vanity._

_What was he even doing?_

_As he scanned and searched the shelves and cabinets, Sephiroth found he truly had no idea what called him here. His body still seemed to be thrumming from the intimacies of the night._ _He was unable to believe what he’d done to Cloud, or, rather, how much he’d enjoyed doing those things to the younger male. And what his partner had done to him…Sephiroth grew hard simply remembering the lurid events._

_He felt reborn. Every cell in his body felt tingly and alive. His cock tingled at the thoughts, and he salaciously went through each and every single one as he placed both his hands on the counter and absorbed the coolness. The contrasting temperature was pleasant to feel, but only at first._

_A soft, steady ‘drip’, ‘drip’ sound soon hit his ears._

_When had he turned on the faucets?_

_Staring at the thin stream of water droplets pattering down, Sephiroth’s index finger and thumb flicked the water to the side. Allowing his hand to remain placed beneath the faucet for a moment, his vacant eyes slowly wandered up into the clear glass, and Sephiroth replayed everything he’d shared with Cloud._

_The blonde had clutched at him as though it had been months and not only just this evening since they’d last touched. Their mouths locked together, tongues meeting in intimate caress as Cloud’s hungry hands roamed free. When Sephiroth pressed him down, the younger male bucked beneath him as the soft glide of fingertips from armpit, over ribs, taut stomach and hips strayed across the smoothness of the length of the blonde’s inner thighs._

_Sephiroth let his hand stray further and was rewarded by a slight whimper at first contact with the warm, moss-soft testes. He took his time there, feeling the effects of his ministrations ripple through the closely held body. Seconds later, Cloud’s mouth pulled free of the titillating kiss, lips parted in a gasp for air as his warm head tilted over Sephiroth’s supporting forearm, the rest of the golden-haired male arching up to his touch._

_In another, such a response would herald orgasm, but with his partner, this was only the beginning. Witnessing the way pleasure ravaged Cloud’s body was intoxicating, and not just a little frightening. His first night in Cloud’s bed, Sephiroth hadn’t known what hit when passion exploded between them, his normally remote partner almost demonically possessed by it._

_Uninhibited didn’t begin to cover the reaction. Not that Cloud wasn’t a tender lover; he was almost heartbreakingly so at times. It was just that when the young, bright man decided to let go of his barriers, which he was doing more and more of late, ecstasy owned him and there was never any question of what was or wasn’t proper or allowed._

_From the very first night Cloud had agreed to stay with him in the mansion, Sephiroth silently decided that Cloud had been his for the taking. The fact that Sephiroth hadn’t done so immediately, that he’d waited until he knew Cloud’s pleasure even better than his own was a testament to his self-control._

_Peering seriously at himself in the mirror as though assessing his own morals and ethics, Sephiroth’s reverie was shattered as he imagined Cloud standing there next to him. Cloud would smile lovingly in the way he always did before he squirmed up to reach his face._

_The kiss he expected turned out to be an exploration of the adolescent’s tongue around the perimeter of his mouth. Slowly, the moist swab would circle, stopping at last to tickle his lips apart. Once he’d conceded, the lower lip would become trapped between Sephiroth’s, and the older warrior would be treated to one of the most delightfully prolonged nuzzling, sucking kisses he’d ever experienced._

_That was how he wanted to remember Cloud…beside him, in his arms, in his bed; forever and always._

_If only. Why, the idea sounded insane…no, it was ridiculous. It was so far-fetched and ridiculous, out of character for himself, that Sephiroth had to laugh at it. Giving into the sensations, Sephiroth moved his hands away from the water, leaned in close to the mirror until his nose almost touched the icy glass, and slowly began to smile._

_Not even blinking, his grin grew wider and wider, and his eyes shined like emeralds. Throwing his head back as his chest moved up and down, a light warning that he couldn’t be able to contain his laughter, the warrior trained his eyes on his reflection. Now, he gave it his all; he laughed as he never had, before._

_The deepness and richness of his own voice reverberated off the walls, floor, and ceiling, planting their roots in the shower, the tub, the various cabinets and chests, and bouncing back to Sephiroth. In such a spacious, expansive room, his laughter was his only companion, and a wanted, desirable friend. It reminded him that he was capable of feeling elation and pleasant emotions, especially to an exaggerated, heightened extent._

_It was beautiful, laughing as the moonlight streamed in liberally, bathing and coating everything and Sephiroth in its luminous potency. It was cold, but Sephiroth continued laughing heartily as though he was in on one of the greatest and most lively jokes ever known. His heart leapt into his throat, and as he craned his head back, his long hair swept down past his tailbone, tickling and adding onto the intense feelings he was already swimming in._

_That, in turn made him laugh louder and louder. The smile on his face made himself look years younger. Why, he thought he even resembled a version of himself Cloud had seen and fallen in love with during the sharing of the memory…a glorious past, indeed, and he had to boisterously continue laughing._

_Losing track of time was an unfortunate occurrence; he wanted to laugh all night long. Cloud had shifted on the other side of the bathroom door, and Sephiroth knew his time was short._

_Abruptly, he cut the laughter off, placing a hand up to his throat. Strange, nothing burned or hurt as he’d been fearful of. Gone was his carefree, young, lively visage, and once more, his stoic, cold, and emotionless veneer had returned. Akin to putting out a flame, the old Sephiroth was gone._

_Why was it that laughter, joy, and happiness came at no cost? Such priceless things in life, and he’d taken them all for granted so many times…_

_Ten minutes later, Sephiroth had padded out of the bathroom and was sitting in the center of their shared bed, a few short feet away from Cloud as he slumbered. His legs tucked up under himself, and he silently lay beside his partner. Thick pillow beneath his head comfortably, Sephiroth was busy attempting to capture the ephemeral sense of innocence that clung to his partner only while Cloud slept._

_Concentrating on that fleeting, near ineffable quality, Sephiroth absently nearly gave into frantic bursts of activity stirring and combating his composure. The need to reach out and touch Cloud was too great to be contained for long._

_As ever, Sephiroth was struck by the sheer animal beauty of his lover: the milky white skin, so pale as to be almost translucent in places, the deep brown of Cloud’s impossibly long eyelashes, the feathery fall of blonde hair, the impressive musculature, so strong even in repose…Cloud was a magnificent physical specimen._

_‘If only he could become mine…if only we had met under different circumstances…if only.’_


	47. Emerald Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth’s various thoughts on Cloud, especially during their argument involving Jenova’s disappearance, right before Wutai Village was attacked. This also contains a significant portion of the story we’re almost heading into regarding a special person (Vincent Valentine).

_Sephiroth’s warnings never went heeded; Cloud found what he desired to, and as he dug deeper and deeper past the virose darkness that lay in the center of Nibelheim, trapped within the basement of the Shinra Mansion, Sephiroth felt surrounded and smothered. Though he was no longer physically bound by his chains and ties to the North Crater, he was utterly hopeless when Cloud had insisted to uncover his own memories._

_It hurt. It hurt them both, and it was inevitable. Sephiroth had foolishly vowed to protect Cloud from any source of difficulty and hardship, but ironically, the one thing Sephiroth couldn’t protect Cloud from, was himself. Unable to deny his lover anything he wanted, he remained distant and aloof until Cloud returned from his mission._

_His powers were growing, no doubt, but Sephiroth’s abilities to remain vague and a distant memory in the minds of the other Avalanche members was now damn near impossible. Tifa and Aerith had of course heard him when he’d spoken, and that was a clear warning that his powers weren’t fully his own. He had to rid the Lifestream of both himself, and of Jenova. She was making him weaker, and he knew he couldn’t continuously drain Cloud dry._

_Someone had to give…something had to break…he had no power, here, and soon, it would all fall apart into pieces he no longer would have energy to chase after as they scattered about in all the corners of their broken world._

_They had awakened something, no doubt. Though Sephiroth vowed never to dig into the past and visit Nibelheim as it remained in ashes and misery, he felt everything Cloud had experienced and dealt with, step by step. He may as well have been there, in person. Through Cloud’s sorrowful eyes, Sephiroth gave birth to the memories he again had been shielding away out of a fear that Cloud-and all his enemies, alike-would realize just how human he was._

_The young man bore it rather well, all things considered. One by one, everything compacted his mind, stacking on like heavy bricks layering up all the way to the brim. The pieces fell in line and presented their gruesome narrative, but he still hadn’t run away._

_Cloud Strife was no coward; he was a true warrior with an intrepid spirit. Sephiroth himself didn’t even think his own mettle would ever match this adolescent’s, shamefully._

_Though in pain both psychologically and physically, to some extent, Sephiroth patiently admired Cloud’s willpower from afar, never once interfering and abruptly preventing the young man from achieving whatever he wished._

_How unlike his personality and inherently destructive nature…he was beginning to tralineate from his initial goal and target…this deviation hadn’t been there from the start, but like any malignant disease lurking in the underbelly of an organism’s defense mechanisms, it soon took hold over himself, possessing his capabilities, warping and morphing his desires into something so opposite to what he’d wanted that Sephiroth completely forgot about his original agenda._

_Instead of taking advantage of many openings and opportunities that were directly beneath his nose, in his face and just waiting to be taken, the wise warrior had already braced himself for the inevitable._

_They would be discovered at some point by Cloud’s friends. Sephiroth could see that already, and it wasn’t so much a premonition, anymore. He knew it would happen, and he knew it would cause a rift between Cloud and Avalanche, and especially between himself and Cloud. Though he’d been ready to face that battle of the heart, and though he’d greatly lent a helping hand into ensuring they were caught, Sephiroth hadn’t ever been prepared to take serious action to try and alleviate Cloud’s suffering and difficulties._

_Regretful since he knew he would never be able to seek redemption completely, Sephiroth counted on another growing problem when Avalanche stumbled upon a rather miserable find. Sephiroth himself wasn’t too familiar with this man, but he kept an eye on him, especially after Cloud had been discovered by the young Ancient. She’d found them together, irritably so. That caused an unfortunate distraction no one needed._

_Beyond explanations, Sephiroth caved into his volcanic anger, his powers of reasoning boiling away in the back of his mind. Like a stack of cards, everything crumbled apart. He should’ve controlled his emotions. Cloud was right; he really wasn’t that much stronger and adept at handling them, was he?_

_Buckling down to his hateful anger, Sephiroth left himself wide open for another untimely ‘possession’ that overwhelmed him beyond any reasonable explanation. Jenova always knew what he was weak. Already, due to their link, Jenova was quite aware of not only his imminent plans, but Jenova sensed a betrayal lying on the horizon for their foreseeable future._

_Sephiroth would’ve normally reacted better and shielded himself, but there was no way it would be feasible after the commotion the last Cetra caused. The moment he’d abruptly snatched Cloud away and hidden him from his annoying friends, Jenova took control._

_He’d lost control over his emotions, leaving himself the perfect target. At once, through the link and the cells tying him to Jenova, the puppet ‘27’ snatched away his powers of reasoning, communication, and all his control. The puppet wasn’t the issue; Jenova through Sephiroth’s remnants still floating about in the Lifestream was the one who had forced him to act like a ferocious beast, tossing the bracelet down to the floor in a move of utter cruelty and sheer insanity._

_To make matters worse, the mako-eyed youth had demanded to be released from their bond, too. Sephiroth couldn’t put a finger on it, but the moment he’d heard of such a request, he’d been pushed on edge. His ego, pride, feelings, and heart all plummeted deep into the center of the planet in one minute. Cloud held the power to do that to him, it seemed. Effortlessly, the adolescent was capable of building Sephiroth up, and then totally annihilating any sense of self-worth and dignity he’d ever reserved for himself._

_How was such an insane notion even possible?_

_Unable to snap out of it, Sephiroth disappeared, leaving Cloud to his own devices. Another stupid, dull-witted move a more logical, reasonable version of his former self would never have even dared to toy with, but he was left with nothing._

_Sephiroth was a wounded man, in every sense, but as he’d departed from Cloud’s side, he knew he had gained leverage over Jenova. Thankfully, before chaos reigned, he’d scrambled parts to form a plan, and he’d employed the use of the perfect individual to aid him in his agenda. He’d done so all without Jenova’s knowledge, effectively sealing and blocking away his motives._

_Only one other person knew of his plot, and in the dark of the night after the Shinra army had struck Wutai Village, two enemies on vastly opposing sides of the board came together as one unit to achieve the same goal, albeit, through different means, entirely._

_(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)_

_He’d tolerated the brunt of it all, looming in the background, rescuing Cloud’s friends and companions almost willingly, as though it was a force of damn habit. Sephiroth had seen himself bearing the gross indignity and crude injustice, listening while members of Avalanche traduced his character and his pride at every given moment. In a twist of unexpected results, Cloud had felt equally as offended and wounded whenever someone took a shot at Sephiroth, which had been beyond bizarre._

_Sephiroth never thought Cloud upheld him and looked up to him in some way, but he had…he always had…all this time, his feelings were developing and growing, and now, they were in full bloom._

_Where had his translunary powers and beliefs disappeared to? Didn’t he wish to become better than a god? Wasn’t that, after all, his birthright? After all he’d been through, Sephiroth truly felt and believed with all his might that gods were only deified men. When the ashes of a man gathered in the realm of madness and hatred, that was how a god was suitably birthed._

_The narrative fit appropriately in his own case. He’d been defied by everyone alike, and his belief and dedication to anthropotheism had been the cause he’d devoted his life to…until Cloud completely changed everything in his life and mind._

_Cloud had been the first to break the spell, to shatter the illusions, to peer into the void, and to help him leave the phantasmagoria that had possessed Sephiroth for decades._

_‘You’ve changed everything…’_

_Though he’d regrettably attacked Cloud with those words before, obfuscating his truest intentions and meanings had come too easily. Sephiroth didn’t even have to put his mind to it and exert himself mentally to the point of it being taxing; he’d already pushed Cloud away and sealed his heart up in his cold barriers out of reach. He was too skilled in this, and for once in his life, Sephiroth absolutely despised himself for this._

_Alone, pained, conflicted, and fearful, he was running out of time and options. Retreating to his own state of misery, it didn’t take him long to recall what Avalanche had done…more specifically, what they’d uncovered in the Shinra Manor basement…_

_Not a creature, but a man simply as broken and hopeless unless he sought his own form of justice and penance…they all needed to atone, perhaps. Sephiroth was willing to consider that if it meant Cloud would be safe for all time. That was his one and only goal, and with renewed hope, he sought out the mysterious man he needed to hold audience with._

_They’d never said a word to each other, before. Their first interaction would no doubt begin and end in the uttering of liberal platitudes, and after, if they had anything left, they would chase and pursue one another for the purposes of spilling blood._

_Vengeance lingered on both sides, and Sephiroth thought he’d lost all semblances of his rationality and sanity when he strongly considered speaking with the man he’d heard tale of from the Shinra Electric Power Company to be dead…the ghost of a Turk, not long forgotten, but capable of living on through memory and legend…_

_He would seek this man out, only the man accidentally came to him on that eventful night the Shinra army unleashed a swift attack meant to ambush everyone in Wutai Village. Though the place was in shambles and still falling apart too quickly for the eye to even track and observe, Sephiroth felt Cloud’s pain and anguish long before he located the golden-haired male._

_Doubling his efforts, Sephiroth felt as though he’d literally been holding his own heart in one hand, and Cloud’s in the opposite. Brutal force had been unleashed everywhere upon all the innocent and young citizens of Wutai and Midgar combined. Running around together in bundles en masse, they enveloped the earth in a sea of frightened faces._

_Sephiroth easily ignored them as the pangs in his own chest grew worse. Recognizing it as a burning need to find Cloud and help him before it was too late, Sephiroth took to the dark, furious sky._

_Due to his incensed fear and heightened concern, Sephiroth had little to no difficulty tracking Cloud down…but the moment his eyes scanned over the golden-haired young warrior, Sephiroth was livid. The outrage he felt striking himself like a great bolt of electricity had only been brought on by the fact that there, beyond the flames, ashes raining down over all, and extending far over the harshness of the savage war going on, happened to be that very same man whom he’d sought all this time._

_Fighting along Cloud and a few of his friends, the legend in the flesh zoomed and zapped about at the speed of light. Expertly, he was able to defend the younger fighters, wiping out hordes of ninja and Samurai warriors, followed by the odd security officer or two. Observing him silently as he stood perched on a rooftop overlooking the damage, Sephiroth wanted to resort to lashing out at Cloud for even working with this man in the first place._

_Like peas in a pod, they collaborated well, communicating quickly as they built a protective wall around themselves. It wasn’t at all a bloody debacle as Sephiroth feared._

_The dark-haired shadow of a bizarre man protected Cloud at all costs. Normally, Sephiroth would’ve been pleased enough to extend a little gratitude for that, only he found he was swept up by hatred and ferocious desires to spill blood when the man gripped his bond-mate and examined him too closely._

_If he could have done so, Sephiroth would’ve attacked, and he felt he was well within his rights when the enigmatic Turk handled someone he cared for dearly._

_Ready to lambaste him_ _for even daring to do such a thing, Sephiroth was compacted and on the warpath. Trodden with his overwhelming anger, it rose when due to the chaotic village’s state of overcrowding, through the wreckage and smoky fires billowing about, Sephiroth saw that their faces were mere inches apart, perfectly aligned for a kiss. With that frightening awareness that operated between his heart and brain, he relied more on logic than the impetuous nature of his feelings and heart._

_Finally, the strange man cloaked in red drew away from Cloud and looked up directly at Sephiroth. Their shocked gazes met. Without even batting an eye, Sephiroth could see the same thoughts passing through those red hues at the timely interruption. He was amazed that he was still able to read so much there, that the knowledge he’d worked so hard to accrue and which had finally been gained surrounding this person would still be valid._

_Stirring when he felt his bond-mate was near, Cloud peered up weakly. Those mako shaded eyes stared at them both, as if trying to gauge the verity of the strenuous situation._ _Those same blue eyes, mad with hate and terror, that messy, honey blonde mop of hair snapping in the wind were all Sephiroth longed to touch and see._

_As the blood drenched youth stood poised before the mysterious man as though he’d been rooted dangerously at a cliff edge, Cloud began losing consciousness rapidly._

_Rumor or myth had no place here, and Sephiroth wasn’t interested in adding onto his burdens._

_In stony silence, the One Winged Angel patiently waited until the demonic man’s expression returned to a blank visage, much as it always flitted into its normal insouciance. Eeriness was felt everywhere, but for whatever reason, Sephiroth allowed his confusion to remain visible. Perhaps it was a testament to how upset his transformation had left his mind and disorganized thoughts, or it might have been a show of trust. Sephiroth truthfully supposed he wouldn’t ever have the privilege to know, but he appreciated not being walled out._

_Before Cloud lost the last bit of his strength required to stay conscious, Sephiroth glared seriously right past the man’s blood red eyes. Two fingers gently eased Cloud into a slumber of safety. Now, whatever left to transpire would only occur and exist between himself and the ghoulish Turk of the past._

_With a reassuring nod, the man communicated that Cloud would be fine once he rested. Sephiroth returned the gesture, though the nod he’d followed up with was one that silently symbolized that they needed to discuss important matters, and he was not going to provide the other man with the opportunity to decline._

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Rolling his shoulders back in one clean circular motion, Sephiroth gradually shifted and ambled about, pacing around his friends while they observed him closely. Their inquisitive eyes traced his pattern of movement, and Sephiroth felt forced to slow down. Perhaps they’d learned how to control and regulate his movement, or maybe this realm had stronger control over his motor skills. Either way, it felt as though he was trying to walk miles under water, each limb weighing a ton as he battled with heavy pressure all around his frame.

Chest tight as his heart gave out one harsh beat before it began racing, Sephiroth inhaled through his nostrils and slowly closed his eyes.

“All this time, I was saving my energy and power for readying the world for a better, brighter future. I was saving my damn strength to purge Jenova from the Lifestream before her blackness ate away at the Cosmos stream, when I should’ve known then that my priorities were completely backwards.”

In full agreement, Angeal rationalized gently, “Sephiroth, you must consider that Gaia and its people aren’t ready for the kind of future you’ve envisioned.”

Assenting confidently, Genesis massaged his wrists and fingers as he spoke calmly, “The meteor may kill two birds with one stone; it will release and merge the energies of both Lifestream channels and get rid of Jenova, but it’s not what anyone wants.”

“It’s not what anyone needs,” Angeal concluded logically, always the didactic, moralistic one through thick and thin.

Perhaps…perhaps Angeal had a point. Plans changed all the time. He’d once thought that he needed the planet as his vessel in order to traverse along the bleak cosmos to elevate himself to the status of a Pure One; a greater god. Then, with his growing weakness faced and enforced upon his death, Sephiroth had wanted both vengeance as well as knowledge of the Greater Lifestream.

One day, he’d envisioned that he’d even transcend and surpass the Pure Ones. His higher ambitions set himself aside, and with his dignity and pride, he would elevate himself to a Formless One…if he used the properties and powers of the Greater Lifestream to his own benefit when it yielded, of course.

His ultimate goal had been to pursue contact and communion with the Formless One when the planet was ready. Seeking communion with the Formless One wasn’t an experience mortals were open to. Elevation of the soul, as well as seeing a way to elevate the planet would only be possible by summoning Gaia’s Shadow. That ancient power had been lying dormant for centuries, but to withstand it all, Sephiroth had tried to grow stronger than any regular man.

It should have been easy. Lacking form, the Formless One existed only in voice, a voice which Sephiroth had heard since his childhood.

This Cosmos stream of the gods and the Pure Ones was his to take…or so he’d wanted.

Where destroying the last traces of Jenova and wiping the tar-like mess she’d left behind in what was rightfully his had once occupied so much of his time, mental energy, as well as willpower, now, all that was secondary next to his top concern.

Cloud was more important; not becoming an insular Formless One. Cloud’s future and survival was the only thing Sephiroth depended on to keep himself motivated to give out his last burst of potency in order to make the proper choice.

Holding up his left arm and staring at the glove covering his flesh, Genesis smirked in a mildly sinister fashion. “Kill them?” Then, he raised the right arm, eyeing it the same way as he had for the opposite limb. “Or join them?”

Boots scraping along the brunneous earth, Angeal drew nearer and nearer to Sephiroth, greeting his friend with a charming smile. Unlike Genesis, Angeal’s features seemed more genuine and sincere. Sephiroth appreciated them both either way, but he acknowledged Angeal with a weak nod that drained half his body of his stamina.

“What will you do, Sephiroth? Will you seriously take the life of the world’s last Cetra? Will that help you feel justified about achieving your cause?” Tossing the questions out as if he were firing a cannon, Angeal then stood back as he surveyed the field next to his friend.

The world of course was shifting far too quickly, and while Sephiroth had great plans for the future, he had to peek behind the veil of his own selfishness and think.

A strong breeze blew by, carrying forth with it a piercing whistle. It sounded as though it were full to bursting. Leaves flew by, swirling and churning in whirlpool vortexes before Sephiroth imagined what most people likely did and took for granted regularly.

Life had always gone on…alertness, a conscience form of rationality, thought, and coupled with the senses to experience everything the world had to offer still could persist. He’d seen it, before.

Viewing life going on in the quotidian way in Midgar as he’d been trying to observe Cloud, Sephiroth had seen and heard the usual, childish laughter and shouting as young ones chased each other about for entertainment and fun, the unceasing susurration of dozens of subdued conversations, the background clatter of utensils and plates being moved in dinner halls, all contained in what amounted to an echoing stone box rattling in his skull.

That was life. It was here, for now, but it could also be gone in a flash if he willed for it to be so…

A faint, light tapping sound emanated from over his shoulders, and as Sephiroth took a quick glance in the background, he found Genesis fiendishly grinning as he gently touched his mouth. His gloved fingers danced as fast as they could with his right arm fluttering over his chin, while his left provided that surreptitious comfort of resting on his hip. Impishly, he met Sephiroth’s gaze and gave him a quick wink and a grin before repossessing his left hand.

Once he’d cleared his throat, with astronomical magnitudes of arrogance, Genesis chided, “The first step’s always the hardest. It will get worse before it gets better, as cliché as it sounds, my friend.”

Had he become that transparent? Was his every thought and fear now on display?

He’d heard Cloud asking him once what he was afraid of. Lying through his teeth, Sephiroth had spat out in a shrewd manner that he didn’t fear anything. Of course, through the lie, it was strangely ironic that his once terribly despised foe had sniffed out the truth effortlessly. Cloud only needed to take one look at him before he seamlessly understood everything Sephiroth was suffering through in the shadows.

Sephiroth never considered himself ill, but since his awakening, and since sharing the ominous Geostigma with Cloud due to Jenova’s influence, the older male had finally accepted and acknowledged that there was something wrong with his soul. It was…polluted, to say the least. He wasn’t normal, as Cloud had correctly once called out. He was a monster masquerading in the form of a man…perhaps…

Ruefully, Cloud once again surmounted one of his tallest barriers, that of touch. Reaching out to him physically, Cloud hooked his chin and raised his face tenaciously until their gazes met during their arguments, acting as though touching Sephiroth were no big deal.

No one had dared to do such a thing before…Sephiroth hadn’t ever allowed it.

Stunned, Sephiroth couldn’t help but compare Cloud’s attitude to the reactions he normally received. Most times when he’d made accidental, physical contact with someone, the person would grimace and pull quickly away, as if they’d touched something slimy and repulsive. However, when Cloud touched him, there always followed unconstrained awe and admiration, on both their ends, especially.

This was new…this was refreshing, and Sephiroth had never felt so complete from a single touch.

There was so much unresolved between Cloud and himself since Sephiroth had reappeared only a few months ago. Too abrupt, so much that Sephiroth honestly didn’t know where he stood with the titular Avalanche member serving as his greatest adversary, anymore. Not quite enemy, but not quite friend, either. At first, Sephiroth had…tolerated his presence, but these days, he truly wished the young Cloud Strife well and wanted him to have a fighting chance.

Initially, he felt it would be enough if they were at least trying to be friends. Foolish of Sephiroth to think they could achieve such a relationship where they’d never had to try, before. The bond rejected and refused it, punishing them both brutally. The effort was exhausting them both. It was hard to relax into a relationship when there was a powder keg of resentment and anger lurking right below the surface, just waiting to explode.

Anger specifically for the lost time, the squandered years, and all the wasted efforts fooling himself, so blindly.

The cynic in Sephiroth couldn’t help but feel that it served him right for violating his own long-standing, non-involvement rules. If he’d just kept to himself, retained his autonomy, he wouldn’t be hurting right now. How many times was he going to have to be taught this painful lesson? Solitude was safe, solitude meant survival….

But solitude was another one of those cosmic jokes. Like happiness and contentment, it was good in theory, but almost impossible to achieve. Sephiroth knew that involvement of any kind equated to pain. He’d learned that his only hope of not hurting was in keeping to himself, living apart in his rigid isolation, far away from the world.

That would’ve been ideal, but how long could any man, even an immortal, live completely on his own and remain sane?

He had spent the last five years in the Lifestream trying not to get attached, to people, to things, to places. When one lived longer than the cultures that nurtured man, they learned about the transience of life. As a result, he’d trained himself not to care. But every now and then, as he’d exposed himself to Cloud’s soul, his humanity had reared its inconvenient head and he’d found himself enjoying the shorter male’s company a bit too much.

Surprisingly, despite his best intentions, the person he had no regard for the most in the world had been given the privilege to get close enough to him. So close, that they became more than just another friend or, far more dangerous, a future foe in the afterbirth of rejection.

Yes, the tides had turned, and Cloud was something infinitely worse in the grand scheme of Sephiroth’s plans. Cloud had become the rarest of gifts; a valued part of Sephiroth’s soul. Namely, the missing piece he’d cast away in the river of Lithe for so long.

Chastising himself was silly, at this point. He should’ve known better than to get wrapped up in this to begin with, especially when his partner was someone so innocent and so loving. It never worked out. It couldn’t.

Every time he cared about someone, he’d end up holding their pain wracked bodies as they breathed their last breath, and when he committed the height of stupidity and befriended one of his own kind, situations like this inevitably occurred. He’d either found himself coming to swords with men he once called brothers or discovered himself standing in some godforsaken place to plead for one friend to spare another’s life, which was his current, hopeless scenario.

Hopeless…but would such hopelessness disappear after they were gone? Would it persist in the realms he wished to travel and seek out? After all, Sephiroth still had much to learn, and he knew he still possessed a limited view of things. All he had as a basis for comparison was Gaia.

Life on this planet wasn’t so off-putting. Juxtaposing it all with the snowy cold, the warm summers, the somnolent, gloomy rain…the seasons and weather were beautiful each in their own way, and quite responsible for changing a man’s mood and his state of mind. The night spoke secrets to him he truly cherished and appreciated, while the harsh light of day forced him to bid those hidden secrets farewell and reach new foundations for hope. 

The animal life and different kingdoms were grand, and the trees were, too.

Standing to his full height, Sephiroth gazed across the land. He noticed the stars, first. There often were star charts in old alchemy books, books that used the patterns in the night sky as a code. The sky was clear over the river, and, as he always had when he was younger and reading through such books, Sephiroth looked for the patterns. He wasn’t able to find them, here. The stars were all differently arranged, and the balance was totally off in this strange realm.

Still, they were so very luxuriating.

Closing his eyes, he thought back to the first time he’d ever been allowed to step outside the walls of the Shinra Company. At once, on their own volition, his eyes reopened. That’s when he noticed the trees; the leaves like nothing he’d ever seen before, not anywhere in his limited imagination, anyway.

Scouring the perimeter of the fields before himself, he admired the way the vegetation danced in the light breeze while the sun beamed down upon them, warming them up until their branches and leaves catered to the loving warmth.

Suddenly, a few drops puttered and pattered down upon his head, startling him as he bent over and got lost in his sensations. He started to look up at the sky, towards the source of the downpour, but stopped, entranced by the state of things around himself, on his own level. He had obviously seen rain before; he had seen the way it left an after-effect, given the way all the colors of the world seemed to brighten after a good, healthy rainstorm.

In nature, the lines sharpened as they basked in the freshness, as the way the entire world would begin to look clean and new. However, this rain was new; all the usual sensations heightened, and beyond, not just within Sephiroth, himself.

The world began to look beautiful, but frighteningly real. Sephiroth, utterly stunned, took in the beauty of the trees, the leaves, the stones, and the bushes hanging around the magnificent greenhouses, gardens, and expansive fountains and pools lingering miles and miles away in the distance as dots along the horizon.

It was through that beauty that he realized how fragile his world was, that each and every object he saw was merely transitory. Each could be broken, reshaped, made anew, but never the same again. Each object would eventually be replaced by another…as was life, given its delicacies.

The droplets mixed in slowly with the wind, with the cold, covertly penetrating his hair, his skin, his clothes, all until a fine sheen of rainwater covered every inch of himself, from his coat, right down to his dark uniform pants. He was soon drenched beyond belief, and all he could do was stand and admire it all.

And though that moment of studying his hands did not pass, gradually as he stood there, watching the world around himself, he felt his body grow increasingly cold. It was a beautiful day, no doubt, but he knew that he should find his salvation, and soon. Finally, he did as he originally intended; he looked skyward, brushing the aggressive droplets of water from his face as he tried to discern the length of the beautiful storm.

And Jenova wanted this all gone? Jenova desired for a darker rebirth born out of nothingness and a vast, decaying land for years and years until the forms and every molecule was totally annihilated and reshaped to her liking? She wanted, much like a leech, to abuse and drain the pits of the planet, reaching the very center, the core, hungrily feasting upon it all until nothing remained?

Sephiroth couldn’t ascertain as to why any creature would want that…only a damn parasite wouldn’t care at all for the very soil it happened to slither upon, much less any other lifeforms.

Such a waste, the contrast of the night, the sun, the gloomy rain, the unforgiving harshness of the snowstorms, and the electrifyingly fresh and somnolent hues and colors associated with each transformation always were. If they weren’t appreciated, it would be a waste…

Sephiroth wanted so very much to see how the trees of the forests surrounding the villages looked after the rain, when the sun finally split the clouds hovering around gigantic mountains apart. He wanted to witness that short, beautiful series of moments between true rain and true sun, when everything was still wet, but the only water that fell was from the slowly drying leaves.

Normally, he found that he did not like the sun as much as the gloomy clouds and rain, but in moments like this, the sun that would soon follow the storm was no longer going to be overbearing or overly bright, but refreshing, casting soft shadows over the revitalized land.

It was raining harder now, and quite soon the storm would blow over, he was sure. It certainly couldn’t rain this hard for any amount of time.

He tried to take seconds to admire the way the rain droplets fell against the leaves of the plants, against the glass of the pillars surrounding himself in his casing, but he was shivering with cold. The rain that pelted his eyes and eyelashes blinded him until all he could see was general outlines of shapes, movement, and brilliant color.

A flash struck him, and rather than an epiphany firing up in his twisted brain normally following thereafter, a pensive Sephiroth hung back. Peering up at the greying sky while it grew marginally brighter, he thought for once he could truly begin to understand and find value with the term of a ‘silver lining’.

If there were such a strange concept founded in reality, Cloud Strife had to be his silver lining, and Sephiroth was quite proud with that.

Cloud gave him hope. Cloud gave him strength, and the satisfaction which had associated and tied itself in that knowledge was one simple fact; Sephiroth didn’t need any supreme essence and powers to be happy. All he needed, and all he wanted was to see Cloud smiling, to hear him laughing heartily, just once.

Yes, that would suffice.


	48. Servant of Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire sequence takes place roughly right before Rufus abducted Cloud. Many people asked how one of Rufus’ men saw visions of Cloud, and this entire chapter will answer that, plus what Sephiroth was experiencing while protecting the North Crater.

Another idiotic leader had risen the moment Sephiroth cut away at one ancient root. Unlike his father, Rufus Shinra remained indestructible and a worthy opponent. If only he had the gumption and nerve to show his face, however. The treacherous man enjoyed sending others in the front of the battlefield to do his filthy bidding for himself…as macilent as his stature was, and as gifted as Rufus Shinra could be in the midst of combat, he was nothing short of a coward.

An opportunist, by every damn definition of the infernal word, no doubt.

As it were, opportunity had struck for Rufus Shinra as he guided and ordered his army to aggressively set base and attack both the exit and entrance of the sealed Northern Cave. The power and magic source was running thin, especially with Sephiroth’s weakened resolve. Rufus knew how to plan and strategize his attacks quite well, even though he wasn’t as expertly skilled in the use of materia and magic as much as other opponents who’d faced Sephiroth were.

A horde of men cowered beneath trenches in the muddy soil with their Elite Helitroopers attacking from the sky, setting the ground aflame before Sentry Rays, Laser Cannons, and a few M.O.T.H. Units crawled through, caustic as they destroyed everything in their path. The expansive area was fraught with danger, the army covering and zeroing in on their target swiftly and keenly with every intent to wipe Sephiroth out.

The first line of defense had been stricken down, and the machines were the first to go. Sephiroth’s forcefield revved up, equally as tenacious and bloodthirsty as Rufus’ goals and intentions were. No one here was going to live long enough to get past him. He would give them agony as they fell and died, they would feel an ancient fire akin to a great dragon’s breath, and the Pure Ones would grant him victory for his sacrifice.

All was well, until Sephiroth’s visions and thoughts flooded out of himself when explosives and bombs had been placed around the perimeter of the Northern Cave Crater, blasting through the initial layer of his shields. When the chips had fallen, his consciousness was stripped away, leaving him open, spurned, and vulnerable. Thoughts flew forth into the wind, and as he tried to hold onto them, he saw visions of Cloud.

They were getting more intense, the dreams, the visions of his loved one. Every step he took made a ripple in the world beneath himself, like a rock skipping along the still surface of a pond. It was only recently that Sephiroth came to understand what that aspect meant, the unnatural tampering with a world completely unlike his own by his mere presence.

When awake, he likened it to the butterfly effect in a real-time simulation, cause and effect showing the impact he had on something that might have played out longer and more intricate than what he’d seen before himself.

_Remember…remember…Mother…remember…_

Anger surged anew, like a pure river of blood and fire. The waves soared higher and higher as he stood his ground, waving a hand and freezing in place a Monodrive followed by a Shock Ray when they swooped at him.

_Give her back…remember…_

The vertical sliced pods launched with rocket propulsions and followed a trajectory across the land, slamming down at such a short distance from the original launch point that the resources put into it seemed wasted. Sephiroth relied less on the use of his weapon from a distance, especially where machines and Sentry Guns and Launchers were concerned. A sword was good for up-close encounters; his enemies deserved to see his eyes for one last time before they succumbed to the cold metal of his blade…

Someone cried out for extra reinforcements, and Sephiroth channeled waves and whirlpools of ice, wind, and stronger shield barriers. He knew it was only a matter of time before he would lose control over these walls, and eventually, he would have to land each killing blow by hand.

_Bring her back to me! Give me Mother!_

Then came the battle that was hell on Gaia.

Each side that unleashed attacks had a warrior, weapons blasting, feet stomping, earth shaking with their combined might as they came to clash around him. The sound was near deafening when these dreams began; now, they had dulled to simple, empty noise as the visual cues of an impending attack on Sephiroth lurked on all sides of the board.

Special Shinra helicopters rose above as the sky turned dark, though their pilots weren’t intimidated by the fancy show and display of lightning Sephiroth summoned. This war had been meant to end one side, and they were willing to see it through to the very end, just as he sought out for the same, so viciously.

Perhaps they’d been evenly matched.

Snatching his Masamune in his left hand, mightily, he slipped through the thinly veiled curtain of his defenses, pulling himself away from the Northern Cave’s entrance. Immediately, three officers fired at him, but he rolled and dodged away from their blows, vaporizing in the middle of the field of deadly combat. This was unwise; he was using far too much of his energy where it wouldn’t count.

Once he’d sliced deep cuts through their uniforms and rendered the assailants defenselessly weak, Sephiroth huddled down as rockets whizzed over his head. For a moment, one clear moment, he could see himself as a phantom to a whole world other than his own, invisible to their eyes and untouched by their weapons. War raged among cliffs and jutting rocks, with Rufus Shinra as its unseen witness and connoisseur of every gross injustice and tyrannical ordeal.

Enraged and possessed by phrenesis and frenzy when a guard tried to leap down at him from the top of a boulder, Sephiroth cried out, ready to attack the mortal. A red flash abruptly appeared between himself and the guard, however, momentarily blinding the One Winged Angel. Sephiroth watched in astonishment as the uniform clad male was now replaced by what closely resembled a huge demon. This hulking demon was the largest creature Sephiroth had seen thus far and rather intimidating.

The furious demon was suddenly ascending into the thick air, releasing a gigantic fireball that was aimed at Sephiroth. Trying to escape, Sephiroth fell to the ground below as the demon created another large fireball. It came striking the ground, causing an explosive blast that nearly knocked Sephiroth onto his side.

Blue-yellow rays of electricity and lightning attacks zapped and ate through piles of large rocks that made up part of the gaping entrance to the Northern Cave. Like a knife gliding through warm butter, the rocks melted away into bits, though jagged and dangerous as they headed right for Sephiroth.

Trying not to panic as a superfluity of alarming feelings coursed through his veins, the skilled warrior was able to predict where majority of them would land, and in turn, he chopped through them with perfect ease. Vorpal Masamune slicing and dividing them all wherever he could find them until they weren’t even the size of gil one could fit in their palm, Sephiroth had foolishly thought himself the triumphant one in this skirmish.

He never anticipated for a lethal mudslide from above, brought on by the earth shaking due to the explosions firing off. More rocks came hurtling down, gaining momentum and speed as they headed right for his skull. One of them clipped the back of his head as he darted away, the timing not proper and keen as it should’ve been. Fearing the ignominy of his own lack of situational awareness, after a running leap, he landed nimbly and silently on the heads of two dastardly Elite Shock Troopers, not allowing them to take off into the sky.

Using his wing as a weapon, Sephiroth scrambled up onto the parapet of a small turret, and then threw himself into the deep shadows of the main tower of decrepit covers where more officers were hiding. Blind and plummeting, he counted exactly two and a half seconds before sticking an arm out and grabbing onto a beam protruding from the stone wall. Wing going rigid, he then stretched it out, knocking a few more men back before they could rapidly aim and fire at him.

One of them snatched two large Sentry guns fresh out of the back of a parked Shinra Military Troop Transport vehicle. Nimbly, Sephiroth twisted left in the air, ascending in a flurry of a twister-like volution. The motion quickly began tearing up bits of dirt and gravel as he propelled himself into the air as far away from the deadly weapons as possible.

Cradling his pounding skull once he landed back on the solid earth, as he blinked through the toxic smoke and ash, he found that it was nothing but a figment of his imagination. He’d slaughtered the guard who’d dared to attack him from the top of the Shinra Military truck, but there was no demon and no fire swelling about.

Chaotically, Sephiroth unleashed a series of swift attacks unto everyone he could find in sight. Madness persisted, however, keeping him company every step of the way as he slid and glided through soil and air, momentarily channeling his power so that he could stun and confuse his enemies into believing he was in many places at once.

_So he found the heart in barren land. It was beating, still alive. He held it gently in his hand and looked up to the sky…that’s where they would all be, soon…soon…_

Time was running out, however. Gunfire and bullets raining down on his head weren’t relenting, and his imagination was deceiving himself, as well.

What was real? What wasn’t? He knew not as he dug and buried the tip of the Masamune into a Shinra officer’s throat, watching as the man turned to ashes before disappearing from his eyes.

_Remember…remember…and she was born again. They brought to life an evil force; a beast that wouldn’t ever be tamed, with dark deception in his soul._

Shutting his eyes as a spray of blood poured past himself, in that second he’d shut them, he saw Cloud’s body lying next to Zack Fair’s suddenly blasting into his brain.

_NO!! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE ME CLOUD BACK!_

It was only a trick of the mind and heart, but that didn’t stop him from shouting in protest, the one act left to himself in his prone state. When he’d seen visions of Cloud lying helplessly like a withered husk, Sephiroth’s body felt like it was rushing, falling toward the center of the planet. Nausea and misery overwhelmed all his senses, threatening to pull him under, when a jolt reminded him of something he’d tried his best to forget for the past five years of his afterlife.

As he rapidly flew about with his wing thrusting up into the sky against the cold rain, Sephiroth was beginning to wonder if he’d ever get the chance to see the clear sky again. After everything he’d suffered through, it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to spending time in all kinds of dark and dreary places.

As an aspiring Pure One, it was more or less a part of his elevation and progression…only, he wished he could ascend with Cloud at his side…he wanted to feel Cloud’s limb in his own, warm and throbbing with life…

_Bring him back to me…_

He’d seen himself there on the same field he’d lain in with Cloud at his side. They would be beneath a comforting, starry night sky. What was it about the night? Why was Sephiroth so fascinated and enchanted with the dark? Was it just that the nights seemed so uncomfortably dark lately, in a way they never had, before? Was that what he’d hoped to explore?

What secrets did he want to learn?

There was a smothering heaviness in the air, as if the world was bowing under the weight of destruction that had swept across it, more than five years ago. Because the world hadn’t forgotten. In its own way, it was mourning the loss of all that had disappeared, before. Perhaps the rays and stars would be aligned in his own favor, this time.

_Yes…_

Elated with this divine thought thrumming in his heart and soul, Sephiroth dashed about, ever so indestructible in his approach. One by one, the trenches approaching and lining up beyond the Northern Cave were now filled with the soulless bodies of Shinra’s army. Exalted and lofty evermore, the dignified One Winged Angel sought out his justice, chased after his rewards, and reaped what he’d then sown.

On the cool, wet soil, his boots sank through and through, deeper and deeper as his Masamune sang in accompaniment with the terror-ridden weeping of his foes.

Illustriously grand…this was a glorious victory all for himself…

That moment vanished almost as soon as he’d grasped it. He should’ve known that the Shinra army was saving the most powerful resources for last.

An Airbuster zipped by his head, nearly setting his clothes on fire as it swarmed over the last potency Sephiroth had set up. Thrown off-guard, he didn’t know how to react, and with his scattered thoughts chaotically raging on, he flew as far away from lightning attacks the Airbuster delivered, knocking his skull against a defeated and motionless Sweeper.

Groaning as his mind exploded into tiny pieces, Sephiroth blindly fumbled, reached forth and fiercely held onto something warm and definitely alive. The moment his gloved hand clasped onto someone’s arm, Sephiroth saw colorful hues and stars spinning into the center of his eyes, opening a new world, a new portal right before himself.

_I remember…I remember you, Cloud, and I won’t let you go, even after I’m gone._

He saw Cloud, then, his left arm turning darker and darker, bearing his mark. Geostigma glaring madly at Sephiroth, Cloud turned as he clutched at his arm, limping and trying to scramble away towards the Temple of the Ancients, the grand steps looming tauntingly before himself. The Black Materia…he was going after it…

Everything spun out of control as Sephiroth held onto the arm of a Shinra officer lying on his side, panting and gasping for air as he fought for his life. Together, as they lay there helplessly, Sephiroth unwittingly bled all of his own streams of consciousness into the officer’s mind. The channel surged and rode its course, the images flying by rapidly like a movie on a reel before it ended and slipped into darkness.

The dead silence brought an uncanny irk to himself. It was uncommon. Wrong, even. Sephiroth witnessed no cease fire command, no signal of any sort to warrant an end to the carnage. His eyes strained and traced over the factions, discovering in short order that they all had one central focus: ending his life, ripping his power source from his heart.

And it was exactly those kinds of thoughts that were not conducive to lying there helplessly, ready to give up. How could he, now? They were going after Cloud, and it was all his fault. He’d practically given them the answers, provided for them the keys, the map, and it was all because he hadn’t been thinking as clearly as he normally would have in the throes of deadly combat.

With a bloodcurdling roar, Sephiroth tore his burning limb off the Shinra officer’s, pressed his hands to his knees and stood, shaking out the length of his coat to clear off the moisture he’d collected from lying on the ground. Flipping through the air when a few bombs were thrown near his vicinity, he was able to dodge them before disappearing into an intangible misty substance meant to deceive.

With the distraction working, Sephiroth again retreated into the Northern Crater, holding himself up against the cave wall. It was cold in these deeper reaches of the mountain, and perhaps it wasn’t entirely wise to have ventured so far from the middle of the battlefield. There were things in these tunnels that wouldn’t take kindly to finding him trespassing, here, and he was leaving large, gaping holes for the President’s men to eventually worm their way through.

Not that the possibility of being discovered bothered himself, unduly. Already, he’d sealed Cloud’s fate, and the younger man was as good as dead if Sephiroth didn’t hurry on to finding him. Rufus of course wasn’t here, but that didn’t mean his eyes weren’t lingering, everywhere. The malodorous spy and his odious plans knew no bounds, and as taxing as it was on Sephiroth’s bedeviled mind to get a hold of himself and wipe out the masses before resuming his other tasks, he was truly ripped apart and divided, emotionally.

An attack of the heart…what a clever tactic, indeed. He’d purposefully arrived here to have audience with Gaia’s Shadow, as the only way it could be contacted was through the first point of the infection; the North Crater. Now, he had to abandon it all…

Footsteps suddenly stormed closer to him, and he snarled as he began cutting and slicing through the air, the shiny gleam of the lights bouncing off the length of the Masamune as he snipped away at shadows. He deliberately loosened the leather straps winding over his pale sternum, gripping the hilt of his sword as he stretched aggressively, trying to cut through piercing red eyes glowing monstrously at him in the dark.

Their slim, long-snouted heads glared at him through battle helmets, lanky bodies disproportionate in their stance. Whenever he attacked one foul beast, it would disappear in a misty residue, only to be replaced by the phantom of an officer. More of the men warped and morphed into monsters before his eyes. The mass of their weapons kept their spines poised in a sideways arc, and as Sephiroth rose to strike them down, they again left him alone to question his sanity.

The gaze of each one followed his movements as though they were bound to him. He blinked harshly, pale hair waving in the breeze. An entire army stood quiet around his protective barriers, and they were waiting for the outsider, the foreign beast. Nothing of their shifting and jerky gestures matched what Sephiroth knew, no hints to the purpose behind the unending glares that pierced his heart with every passing second.

The wind hauntingly howled as Sephiroth attacked, but there was no stopping him. Like an unhinged creature, Sephiroth began blindly attacking, his arms never tiring out as he danced and swirled about at nothing. His hair flipped around himself; a white contrast to the darkness suffocating and drowning him in the quagmire of his own murky guilt.

Insanity had reached the surface, almost, bits and pieces of his rationality slowly falling away to the horrid and demented images he saw. Laceration of flesh was only a happy dream now. As his mind fizzled, everything was pixilated. Sephiroth willingly fell flat on his face, everything he witnessed fading to black, not knowing what had happened.

He was no longer the almighty, revered Sephiroth, but a damaged one, now. He was warped by his own demons with voracious appetites, and what he saw, much like a real man who bled. In the end, he was nothing more than a monster living in a haunting memory…

Slamming the Masamune down into the dirt, he cursed himself, almost wishing that something would decide to jump out of the darkness and attack him, just so he’d have something real to fight, instead of just his own fears. But the cave around himself remained stubbornly silent, reminding the brave warrior of how alone he truly was.

Damn this fight. The ex-SOLDIER now had one problem less with the combat conditions and more with the person who sent his troops here, while his real intentions lay elsewhere.

Feeling a sudden need for human companionship and to be reunited with his bond-mate, Sephiroth started back in the direction of the larger caves and tunnels beyond the North Crater.

There, Cloud was poised in all his innocence and purity. The soft glow of the passionate embers emanating from within the younger warrior was unexpectedly welcoming, and Sephiroth allowed himself to break out into a small smile at the sight of it.

_Cloud…why do you look at me, that way?_

Without thinking, he asked, “Cloud, what can I do?”

Immediately, his hopes were dashed by the marked persistence of the cold, mute glare his bond-mate fixated him with as he then faded away into the darkness of the tunnels.

Everything hurt…nothing made sense in his shattered, damaged world. Everything brought him pain, and it was all because of—

Just when he thought he’d been driven mad, the battle ranks parted before himself, breaching the barrier almost gracefully. A few steps forward brought the sight of a heavily armed officer running toward Sephiroth, eerily quick with the load he bore on his arm. Pacing backwards hardly did more than delay the inevitable; within feet of the One Winged Angel, the ignoble officer released a blinding explosive, distracting his foe before a flock of creatures swarmed in.

A spiky bulb abruptly split open from the smoke once it’d rooted itself in the base of the Northern Cave, unveiling tentacles to Sephiroth’s dull, green eyes. They were a squirming set of cybernetic feelers, and they crawled and wound through the Northern Crater, digging into the walls and floor as they rooted and firmly tore open the way for the rest of the Shinra army to navigate through.

He’d failed. Sephiroth had failed, yet again, and it took himself all of five full seconds before he knew he had to abandon the area and retreat. He was quite overwhelmed in his miserable, sorry state, but he couldn’t truly care.

Let them find Mother, then…what did it matter, in the long run? If they thought they’d won, then it would mean that he no longer had the disadvantage of poor mobility.

The enemy freely roamed about, claiming everything he’d sought to protect, and he couldn’t weep over the loss. Let them learn his secrets…he no longer needed that same agility. Speed was critical, and though he didn’t want them to set up other traps and regain their strength in numbers, this wasn’t his fight, and this wasn’t his priority, anymore.

Someone was calling…someone was reaching out to him, and he knew it when the center of his heart burned before shriveling up as though it’d been callously dumped in a vat of acid.

Sephiroth glared at his right hand, frustrated with the situation he’d found himself in. Overpowered and tricked by the infamous, boorish Rufus Shinra, he’d surrendered and given the Shinra Empire dominion over the Northern Crater, for now. Sephiroth instead wasn’t even given a token force and a long march to subdue a hostile, albeit inferior, enemy. True, this guaranteed their victory, but the situation prevented the One Winged Angel from really protecting what he knew he valued more than Mother.

No, he wasn’t going to stay here and provide a sufficient show of force to intimidate the Shinra troops and guarantee their surrender without a fight. Not in this way.

Reality was not so gentle. The Shinra forces had been expecting the inevitable, after the decimation of Wutai Village and Sector 7, and had ambushed the miniature Wutai army on the open plains north of the land. A night raid had resulted in the sabotage of some Wutai armor and weaponry, the theft of a great deal of provisions and spare parts, and a sudden sense of urgency. It’d all faded, no doubt pushing their leader’s mission aside from finding his abducted daughter and having her brought home safely.

Seeing all this, Sephiroth felt like he was going to burst apart. What was happening?

In his mind, he’d turned, clutching desperately onto the dark fabric of Cloud’s clothes, blindly searching for his hand. No one could even see beyond the tip of their nose in such darkness. Sephiroth’s eyes were transfixed by the horrible scene before himself, and he found he couldn’t look away as Cloud’s visions seeped into his mind at full force without pause.

It was burning. The village...their homes, their possessions…it was all burning. All those people...what would happen to them?

Cloud whimpered, and Sephiroth clearly heard it. There with his bond-mate as the concept of time and physics were ignored, Sephiroth felt relieved when his lover’s hand dropped to rest on his chest. In turn, Sephiroth lowered his arm to Cloud’s head, gently stroking his smooth hair. It calmed himself, but not enough. The village was still burning, fire arching into the sky as terrorized screams and wails echoed for miles.

Though he tried, Sephiroth couldn’t comprehend this; why had Cloud brought him here? Didn’t he trust him? Why would he show him this? Why wasn’t he asking and begging to be helped when he was far in the clutches of something and someone much, much worse?

Even though Sephiroth wasn’t anywhere near the rest of the Avalanche members, he knew of everything that was transpiring, all because of his connections to Cloud. If he knew this much, then Rufus…

Fifty men at arms were trying to seal and trap him in the Northern Crater, but he wasn’t going to flee back into an immobile, unconscious realm ever again, not if he could help it. At first morning light, though it brought him little relief, he had to go back as they sounded the alarm. The citizenry no doubt was working on evacuation, clearly intent on guerilla warfare, fearful of meeting the same fate as Sector 7.

Damn Rufus Shinra…damn the greedy Turks with their foolishness. They had expected him to capitulate immediately, faced with a force five times the amount Sephiroth ever commanded.

Rufus had now been placed in charge of making the decisions for the populous he ruled over and had set about amusing himself by executing random civilians after brutally torturing families, the elderly, and those whom he knew he could terrorize easily. While that might have entertained the budding psychopath within Sephiroth of the past, and even assured the unlikelihood of a rebellion in the short term, the ripple effects made Sephiroth’s troubling, current task even more difficult.

A cold touch upon his shoulder suddenly roused him from his internal musings. It could’ve been Cloud. Far too delirious to differentiate between what he was accidentally streaming out to the masses and what he was riding along the tides of in his own mind, Sephiroth sobbed and mourned over the loss of the warmth the limb had once provided as it slid away from his shoulder.

“Sephiroth?”

He glanced down at his side as he regarded Cloud warmly, his blue eyes making the tall warrior shiver.

“Let them go in peace, love.”

Cloud seemed to see his confusion, his distress, because a moment later, he leaned up as Sephiroth bent down so they were almost at level with one another. Sephiroth couldn’t help himself; he spun around and threw himself at Cloud, gathering the youth into his arms. Within the tight embrace, Cloud buried his warm face in his senior’s neck, his hands coming to rest against Sephiroth’s back, rubbing in slow, soothing motions.

That was what he’d wanted and yearned for more than he’d ever needed anything in his life.

“Not enough...it’s not enough,” he muttered solemnly to himself, as his eyes came to rest on his lover’s serene face. Cloud must have seen the fear displayed openly, there, because suddenly, his expression softened, and he gave Sephiroth the sweetest smile.

They broke apart as Cloud walked forward, and Sephiroth took a step back. Cloud then stopped, the smile wavering on his face, and Sephiroth swallowed back his bilious fear. This was his lover…his partner…Cloud would never hurt him…

The blue-eyed one saw his change of heart as he disappeared like mist, leaving Sephiroth reaching out to touch his remnants. Fingers made contact with shards of glass, and they all exploded and shattered down, raining over Sephiroth before they lay at his feet.

Glaring down again at his right wrist freed of the shiny bracelet Cloud had fashioned for him, Sephiroth now understood the true meaning and attachment to material objects and trinkets as such. Now, in his own world, they too held a special place…

_“For those who choose to stand and fight, shall die, with dignity…but for the unfortunate few who survive, waits a life of slavery…show them, Sephiroth…show them all…”_

_No, Mother. Not this time…I cannot listen to your lies and your words any longer. I simply refuse to._

Sephiroth pondered his words with a satisfactory grin. He now seemed to relax, knowing that he wasn’t wallowing in his misery as he took to chuckling softly. As he made the rest of his journey, aware of how badly they were disturbing the preternatural silence of the planet in its universe, he hoped that his last hope would prevail.

Though Sephiroth would be the last person standing if he ever relied on the aid of another, for Cloud’s sake and for his safety alone, Sephiroth was willing to defy all odds running up against himself.


	49. Formless Writhe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire battle sequence was thrilling to write. It all takes place right when Cloud was fighting Rufus Shinra, and the lightning attack Rufus used was all powered through Sephiroth’s interference unknowingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! This is my gift to everyone! 🎊🎉🎄🎁🎅Thank you amazing readers for sticking through with this long fic until now! I know this chapter is a bit long, but I wanted to leave a good gift for everyone to really enjoy.

When he was young, he’d never told anyone that he could hear voices. Day or night, dark or light, it didn’t matter. The voices would always seek him out. Ignoring them never encouraged them to disappear. Rather, they partook in his suffering, seeing it as bounteous gratuities to be bent and shaped to their will.

The older he grew, the more importunate and incessant the voices became, eventually shifting to inhuman sounds etched in his mind. Louder and louder, needier and needier, and they always knew his name. They knew how to call out for him, causing Sephiroth to flail around fecklessly in his own mental prison and anguish.

“You will ascend, you will see what you need to see,” they chanted in their baneful ways, with one particular voice so deep, so immeasurably deep. It rushed like a rapid tide at his feet, cold, then warm, on the skin he sought to claim.

“Seek ascension, seek our eyes,” they would repeat, again. Words washed over him like small waves, fluid, warm, cresting with points of roughness from the strain his most beloved bore.

Sephiroth never realized that when he’d been slain, he ceased hearing more than one voice. A woman’s voice constantly spoke to him since he freed himself in the Lifestream, and he’d always recognized it as Mother. She spoke out to him, and he’d learned from her so very much. When he was strong enough to depart and take more control, he finally noticed how like Mother he was finally becoming.

He spoke to Cloud quite often. In his dreams, in the broad daylight, right when the first sign of the stars shone like diamonds in the putrid night sky; he was always there whispering to Cloud.

“I must have you,” he insisted, almost akin to how one cantillated in worship.

The wicked angel had a tongue to charm the wings off his own kin. He spoke and his deep voice flowed so softly around his junior. What could anyone do but sink into it? An endless fall into warm, slowing waters, his voice cushioned Cloud, caressed him and drew the adolescent down, further down.

Warm breath ghosted on Cloud’s macilent body each time him slept. Velvet strength held him profoundly still. Sephiroth was always pleased and amused when he felt Cloud pushing, reaching, touching. It was only natural for the blonde to drift into the soft streams of his voice. His insistent pleading rose and fell, wide, soft, and slow. Through the terrors and the nightmares, Sephiroth rocked in the swell of a deep, blue-green ocean, like his eyes and Cloud’s channeling through the Lifestream.

Such beautiful eyes…Cloud always had been beautiful, so he thought.

When he closed his own eyes, Sephiroth could still feel potent reverberations of combined shouts of the spectators who were his trainers, his teachers, and his supposed guardians watching over him, sharing in his triumph. They would dance and cheer, shaking the ground and earth at their feet as though they were in a large coliseum as their favorite gladiator fought for his life.

Sometimes, Sephiroth scented the foul odor of death in the air. Its vile stench was unmistakable, nothing to be easily confused for roasted beef or cooked ham. The pensive male always knew the rancid smell, seeing as he’d been the harbinger of death…literally, the dark angel of destruction and chaos. That had been his unspoken title for so long, the entities of the moniker he’d been cursed with chasing him importunately to the ends of the world flowing into the death river.

There was nothing unique or enlightening about his miserably pathetic existence for a life, was there?

Not so ideally, Sephiroth still felt the energy of all those adrenaline high spectators screaming in glorious unison. Some things never changed. The odor of unwashed bodies was still the same as it had been in Nibelheim all those years ago. There was always a duty to uphold, superiors to answer to, and the roar of Sephiroth’s adorning public was chillingly similar to the spectators in the Shinra Electric Power Company when he’d defeated countless opponents at their every whim.

Perhaps _he_ was the puppet, after all. His performance stoked the crowd up; he was their ultimate source of entertainment. They were hungry for more, aching for better and bigger stimulation. Sephiroth couldn’t count the number of times he’d heard that deafening human din. They were screaming for an encore, but in their jaded hearts, what they were really aching for was blood. Sephiroth logically knew that, even if they didn’t.

What choice did he have? What options were available to himself?

Usually, the answer was nothing. As a SOLDIER, he wasn’t supposed to raise opposition, voice his opinions, ask for things. Sephiroth never thought to refuse any of their orders. That he should want what no one was willing to give was grounds for brutal punishment; not a blessing. If there was sin and wrong in this, it was that a noble archangel be reduced to this unearthly misery.

After all he’d given so selflessly, he thought the world was his for the taking. Why should majesty stoop so low and thrive in the dirt? Everything had a time and place, and his time had arrived. There would be a reckoning, one day, and the first creature Sephiroth wanted to leave his tainted mark of corruption on was none other than Cloud Strife.

Cloud was the one Sephiroth had obsessively thought of, dreamed of killing many times over, initially, and to lambast the youth’s spirit and what he represented for the sake of making his crude point a reality. Through Cloud, Sephiroth’s might would be upheld and his power would be revered.

The damn brat deserved it for poking his nose into his affairs. Cloud was everywhere, all around and deep inside Sephiroth, and the One Winged Angel merely used the same tactics to break his target down. One layer at a time, Sephiroth broke through Cloud and his meddling. Psychologically and emotionally, he’d wanted to see Cloud crumbling, once upon a time.

He watched the brave youth for many days and nights, and still, his voice was not the one there in the back of his mind; Cloud’s was. Sephiroth was aflame, needing to respond to everything Cloud did.

It was a dance of sorts. Cloud would call out to him, and he would reply eagerly. Addictive in its own right, Cloud would mimic his replies. The young man’s body, the enticing body he desired, was so seductive. Sephiroth struggled against the powerful current. He needed everything this young man was willing to give, and in turn, he found himself open to giving, as well.

In their union, something rich and powerful was born. The channels were open as the kaleidoscope of colors and the phantasmagoria of every mysteriously enchanting shape Sephiroth ever entertained came to life right before his eyes. The pieces all were formed neatly as they all plunged into levels of consciousness.

It was not lack of will that slowed Sephiroth. Will, there was aplenty, fierce, desperate. Heart and mind and soul, he would give himself to Cloud, and he wanted for the younger warrior to return that value. Everything Cloud had to experience, was willing to give, they were already his, but body, beautiful body, it heeded not the One Winged Angel’s call, yet.

What a loathsome, treacherously desirable body, indeed.

The night their souls had linked was a most unforgettable one in Sephiroth’s mind.

He recalled how Cloud had quivered in the current of his own streaming pleas, ashamed that languor was taken for aversion. Abomination, the thought that any could refuse his will. Such favor he showed the young lad. Glory and grace for the deepest, inner mystery of Sephiroth’s form came so naturally from Cloud.

What right had this young man to refuse? Selfishness had been no greater sin than all of Sephiroth’s insular vices combined. Selfishly, he knew he wanted Cloud to weep upon hearing the One Winged Angel’s voice, akin to one needing shelter begging entrance at his own abode.

The deep richness of the bountiful voice he’d chanted out to seduce the handsome youth soon turned to praise, delicate and fleeting. How like foamy ocean spray it was, bathing the younger man’s pale skin, entrancing his flesh, winning over what was already Sephiroth’s for the taking.

Soothing, beguiling, coaxing, cajoling, inviting, entrancing, devouring, defiling…

Cloud’s thrumming heart, coupled with Sephiroth’s cold, frigid one, soared with his praise of the warrior’s shining, silver hair. Sephiroth felt it whip around his face in the stream of his younger partner’s swirling voice. The top SOLDIER’s blood beat the shores of his being when Cloud sang of the beauty within Sephiroth’s green eyes.

“I need you, Sephiroth…”

Bending to his will, Sephiroth had swooned as he sung out, “I need you too, lovely one. You are rightfully mine. No other will suit me so well. No other will do.” His voice was heavy with strain, weighing down on the blonde like miles of deep sea on a grain of ocean bed sand. “Let me in, love, let me in. You are already mine…”

Sephiroth rejoiced when he knew Cloud heard the call, felt the strain, saw the rightness of it all. Such relief when it relinquished itself to his desperate need. He was already so deep inside his obsession with the youth, and this was great progress Sephiroth had been waiting for. It was only right that he filled all of Cloud, until he knew nothing and no one else.

It seemed that through both spiritual connections as well as their intimate, sexual exchanges, Sephiroth could do whatever he wanted. There was no need to ever hurt the younger man, and Sephiroth had long ceased genuinely desiring to cause him harm. Why would he waste such suffering when it could be replaced by pleasure unsurpassed?

Sex wasn’t just about conquering another body, claiming Cloud’s heat, and viciously using his heart. They were sharing, opening to insane bouts of pleasure, but also connecting on metaphysical levels. Sephiroth knew so when he came inside, stretching Cloud, pushing his bond-mate to the edge of serene joy.

On the precipice of such surreal pleasure, Sephiroth claimed his junior wholly and Cloud let him. Heart, mind, and soul were already his. He zealously took in the refreshingly beautiful hands, lively face, golden hair, piercing mako-infused eyes, delicately toned hips, long, pale throat and pulsing heat. He took them all.

When he’d obtained these traces and claimed them as his own, Sephiroth’s spirit flew.

The day he heard that Cloud returned his feelings, joy spilled over Sephiroth uncontrollably. Now, it didn’t feel like a possession; it felt reciprocal, and what Cloud had to offer truly was to be trusted in his care.

Though he wanted to communicate this, Sephiroth couldn’t find the proper words to express himself. He had never mentioned, not once in all that deep green wash of beautiful pleading, that were Cloud to let him completely take over and fill his mind and body so, there would be no space left for Sephiroth’s hatred.

Sephiroth wondered whether this was genuine concern for his part, or a fixation based on the anomaly he’d been trapped in. Much to his surprise however, it wasn’t. Instead, his body was encouraged to turn, lay on its back.

Tiny, needle-point blades of the vibrantly green grass stroked along the bits of pale skin, and every time he shifted, they dug in deeper and deeper. Sephiroth soon found himself wishing less and less that they were dangerous weapons meant to bleed him dry.

The sky was quite rapturous and radiant as it watched him down below upon the flat earth. Like love, such beauties of nature were fleeting, weren’t they?

Love had indeed taken over everything…love had conquered all…

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Gazing from the outside now, Sephiroth hovered between the two worlds he was stuck in. Beyond the body that was his, that was made for himself, that he made his own vessel, again. For all his sweet, sweet, devilish distortions, he simply still refused to break Cloud down.

He should have been angry…he had every right to be livid and driven to the point where he had to eternally damn Cloud. No, he could not punish the youth for his indiscretions. Sephiroth was self-aware and had very little blind spots, now. When he heard of Cloud defending his honor before Avalanche and his lifelong friends, Sephiroth was truly lost again in confusion.

Cloud had stated that no matter what, he couldn’t abandon the One Winged Angel. In the past, he took only what was his by right, but even Cloud had changed, surprisingly. Now, he cared…he cared as much as Sephiroth did.

Gazing into the deepest and purist of rivers, Sephiroth knelt as he studied his own reflection. Pondering what he owned, he had to again ask himself what was left for himself to take and to own?

His shining hair was not even his own, now. Smooth, pale skin, slender fingers, they _had_ been his own, once. They all acted on their own accord and had personal agency meant for wielding his Masamune and ending a life. Though he wasn’t mourning this loss, Sephiroth felt complete by the connection and similarity he shared with Cloud Strife. There were commonalities to be found, shockingly.

Their beaming, tantalizing eyes, they were his first points of interest. What he was before became a mystery to himself, and much of his sordid past had been wiped away every time he’d peered deeply into Cloud’s tremendously gorgeous eyes. He scarcely recalled anything in the way of torment, grief, or pain, lately. Instead, he intently made a serment to himself to let Cloud be his true focus.

With that oath, Sephiroth floated in the bright blue sky, bereft of the borrowed glory, the grace that had only been entrusted to himself until his most beloved should call for it again. He had need, and Cloud always answered. He took Sephiroth by mind and body, rendering him helpless as he succumbed to dysbulia.

What he now possessed belonged to Cloud and was far from his own, lately. This was a comforting notion, however. Cloud’s happiness, success, and his health were of paramount importance to the One Winged Angel.

Sephiroth was cast adrift in a wide, green ocean, steering only by a longing to bask in his lover’s radiance, drawn to the body that was never his own in the ways he wanted for it to be. High waves battered and tossed him about in the storm, and without his bond-mate’s canopy and protective shelter, Sephiroth was all alone to weather the tumultuous unpredictability. The current was cold, fast and strong. It always was as it should’ve been, by all accounts.

Then again, where Sephiroth had once been a great, incomparable force of nature, now, with each passing day, he was becoming less of such a potent force of the elements. The descent into a worthless, draffish shell of his former glory and successful reign had come to an end.

If there was sadness, any hint of regret, it was only for his lover’s sake. For the way Cloud stared at him so deeply with hope reminded Sephiroth of how a young one would glance at his fingers in the darkness as if to reassure himself that they truly were his own pieces. For the way he felt Cloud’s eyes scratching and scouring through his soul left engravings and carvings bearing only Cloud’s name for centuries.

Though he couldn’t feel those eyes tracing along his shape and form, now, he heard his bond-mate’s tender voice crying out to him. Sephiroth needed to verify whether it all made sense, and if Cloud had been the one at his side. Desperately, he needed to decipher what the spoken words were…

Or he knew he’d tried to, his body began violently shaking as no sound came out. Mother’s voice was never so tender. It had been soft, yet so cruel. This voice was gentle, without order behind it. Without any hidden facades. The concern was almost genuine. As was the bemusement lurking along his downtrodden heart.

It had to have been Cloud…his Cloud…

Sephiroth pondered and ruminated, attempting to predict when his name would be called again. Much to his surprise, however, it wasn’t. Instead of that beautiful, sonorous tone resonating, there was putrid silence. It tortured him, as his body was encouraged to turn, lay on its back, and wholly accept his fate. Moist grass touched his exposed skin, the fabric of his clothes torn many years ago, ruined by his aimless wanderings.

The flesh Sephiroth wore was not one he recognized and felt familiar with, but that inked scourge should have had no place on himself, just the same.

Why wasn’t it easier to run? In the past, he’d found it rather pleasant to flee. He could simply spread his wing, take to the sky, and leave, never to be heard from again while he sought indolence. He’d never even given it much thought, yet now, it was an overwhelming concern to leave Cloud and abandon what they’d created, together.

Had he courage and will to order his lips to speak, he would beg his junior forgiveness for letting his proud flesh be so marred with the burdens of another. If he could get Cloud to look at his floundering soul, he would show him his utmost regret that it was done even before Sephiroth could recall waking as keeper of his glory.

If he could, he was certain he would plead to be granted the words of absolution in that voice like the deep, deep ocean. It would still the One Winged Angel, it would soothe him, and it would thrill all that was left of himself. It would be more than he knew he deserved, to feel his innocent bond-mate’s steadying presence around himself, once more.

_“I long to hear my angel’s sweet voice, but he will not speak to me anymore…”_

Darkness encompassed his vision, and he was floating in an endless abyss of pitch-black nothingness that ate unceasingly at his mind and soul. A slim youth in his late teens lay suspended, adrift in a sea of emerald light. Bathed with the iridescent glow, a black patch encroached on the sleeping teenager, skimming through the stream’s surface.

_“Sephiroth…”_

Yes, he recalled that he’d been but a teenager when a woman’s voice channeled through and urged him to do her bidding. They would often chat in his mind, and without anyone ever knowing, Sephiroth confided in her. She had a sweet, serene, placid, and gentle voice. He could fall asleep listening to it.

For years, he convinced himself that it was his mother. Professor Hojo had always repeated into his head that his mother was deceased. She’d supposedly passed on long ago, but Sephiroth never had time to mourn the loss of his dear mother. The maternal figure he’d never had the right to meet lived on in his mind, however, and he always urged himself to try harder for her, to work to become the best and top SOLDIER in her name. If she were alive to hear of his accomplishments, he was confident she would be so proud to call him her son…

If only he’d known then what he’d grown to learn in his abysmally dark, complex future…

Something tugged fiercely at the subconscious levels of his mind, triggering his once still heart to thump in his chest. His lungs expanded, allowing for the intake of air greedily, the once deflated organs filling up with life giving oxygen.

The faint pulse of his heart now gained strength with each beat, as it pumped the life sustaining red fluid, spreading the familiar warmth across his form. The dark emptiness that gnawed at him slowly faded away, replaced by a warm, soothing caress that accompanied the newly awakened life flaring within.

A sharp voice suddenly followed, cutting viciously through his mind.

_“Sephiroth…”_

The voice, though gratingly cold, stirred an odd feeling of elation and peace within himself. The silver-haired teenager’s head tilted curiously to the side, hoping to capture more of the voice so comfortingly familiar. He could sense that he was suspended, swirling in a steady force that pushed his now solidified body along.

_“Sephiroth…”_

In the end, there was only insanity, fire and the lingering feeling of regret, regret buried deeply behind the mysterious female figure he’d heard tale of and briefly witnessed in her form. She was the calamity of the world. The embodiment of destruction…a deadly Goddess; his Mother, a heroine no longer.

A burning, fallen angel of death he became. Tragically, in the end, Sephiroth welcomed this, burying his unending pain beyond where light couldn’t penetrate.

He would’ve been content with his lonely future, but it wasn’t what had been ordained in the book of his fate, so it seemed. Sephiroth had stood at the edge of the world, peering down into the icy depths and surfaces of diaphanous glass glaring right back at himself. Bitterly, he’d always been a solid witness to his own glare mendaciously slamming right back into his eyes, but there was someone else there, after so many years being alone.

There was Cloud Strife, now. Not one Sephiroth was eager to accept with open arms, though one he was curious enough about to consider the last friend he could ever have. Cloud was jubilant, full of life, as Sephiroth saw heaven anytime he looked into his eyes. Everything was pure, true, and strong, and there weren’t any reservations and places for concerning doubts where Cloud was concerned.

Cloud’s role in Sephiroth’s life had changed dramatically. Now, he came before Jenova, long before Sephiroth became an agent of fear. Perfectly, also, he came at a time into Sephiroth’s life where he was the most confused, almost alone as the faintest idea of friendship sounded strange to himself.

The definition and memories associated with the word had been torn apart from him so cruelly. It wasn’t a matter of discrimination; he had no home, no parents, no love, and no hope beyond whatever it was he’d created for himself. After Shinra’s lies and the desire of the Greater Lifestream, the crimson betrayer was on his own morbid path for revenge.

The hellish train’s brakes had been given to him and altered, all by Cloud Strife’s doing…

Still, in the depth of minacious, unforgiving coldness and darkness, a child cried.

_“Mother? Mother? Where are you?”_

Sephiroth fought hard against the heaviness weighing down his eyes. He tried lifting his arms, vainly reaching out to the voice that beckoned him away from his animated state. His arms flailed, grasping nothing but the vanishing threads of a fading dream. Again, the voice echoed in his ears.

_“Sephiroth…”_

There came silence.

The silver-haired youth back then panicked, fearing his mother had forsaken him. There were times where he’d shut her out, but he’d never meant to. He was young, and he had no idea of the state of his true powers, then.

_“Mother! Mother!”_

_“Hush, child,”_ the voice soothed. The metallic voice cackling amidst the steady hum of the glowing river that bathed everything in a green light had returned to him, but it was never permanent.

As it had in the past, the voice only wanted to silence his nascent fears; not to comfort or soothe him. It was always so self-serving and self-righteous in its own nature, never caring for his feelings.

Blindly reaching for through snow, smoke, and ash, the child wept and wailed like a wounded animal. _“Mother! Don’t leave me! Come back!”_

A soft coo of a laugh surprisingly angered him.

_“All is not lost; the ‘chosen’ remnant remains. Soon, very soon, I will awaken and shall bring about the completion of our reunion. The fools believe in vain, that we have been defeated. Let them savor their false victory. Then our revenge and triumph will come full circle…”_

The voice was different, now…Mother’s voice was so distant, so cold, so angry…this wasn’t Mother…

A pair of hands pulled firmly at his shoulders, forcing him to abruptly open his eyes. Two slits of ebony dilated over a sea of blue-green orbs, wincing audibly under the bright light of the sun. Wisps of platinum danced in the gentle breeze. Sephiroth scoured every last inch of the new environment he’d somehow wandered into spiritually.

As always, time wasn’t easy to mold and shape in this realm, and fighting fate was equally as stupid. Memories were all he had, and he wove them together through time as he swiftly and keenly flitted about through both light and dark.

He’d stopped, somehow. Sephiroth now stood frozen on the spot, and the moment he opened his eyes daringly, he found that he stood beneath a canopy of calm, scintillating stars as luminous as the sun during the peak of the day. Leafy green trees swayed and danced to the gentle tune of nature, and a gigantic waterfall billowed icy water into his face due to the potent spray cascading down on grey rocks.

He could do little to stop the loud chattering of his teeth as the ghoulish noises and howling wind once again reached his ears from the cave looming ahead. Together, the ambiance worked so forcefully, edging him closer. This was the meeting place, after all. They’d settled on this while Cloud slept safely and peacefully back in Wutai Village. Sephiroth was here to learn how to alter the end, but he was also here to seal a promise he should’ve kept up with so long ago.

He gave himself one last push, making certain his legs and body were his own before hurriedly entering the damnable place. The large, gaping mouth of the cave beneath the waterfall beckoning him seductively.

Like a shadow flying through the night, Sephiroth breezed along beneath the water, never once looking back over his shoulder. If he did, he knew the spell would be broken, and the deal would be called off.

In the semi-darkness of the passageway beyond the waterfall and cave, a dim flickering of a lone torch outlined the silhouette of a cracked box. A reddish-brown tendril accompanied by a viscous liquid substance of shimmering, neon green oozed out of the crude opening. It progressed languidly forward at a painful pace. As though bewitched, the liquids churned forth, reaching out for him as he studied the silver box tightly sealed as it contained the mysterious essence within.

_Drip._

The room was encased in a blanket of sparks. Light tremors rocked the shelves together, bunching up contents to one side. The defective bulbs exploded violently, casting the entire room into a darkness akin to eternal oblivion.

Sephiroth glanced at the box, wondering if he should take it for himself, yet…

Curiosity ate away at his tortured soul. Closing his eyes, he reserved a moment of solitude and quiet to collect his courage and thoughts. Fingers already trembled towards the box, and the thrumming of his heart matched the steady thudding sound emanating from within the container.

Eyes opening slowly, Sephiroth’s piercing emerald gems peered into the cold darkness, blinking in rapid succession. Heavily dilated irises elongated to feline slits, trying to adjust to the pitch-black darkness. Craning his neck down, he couldn’t regulate his racing heart this time.

Throat dry as a desert scorched by the blasting sun, the increase in his upper torso’s temperature completely contrasted with how frigid and frozen his legs and feet were. Nearly dropping his hand on top of the box, Sephiroth released a fearful breath he wasn’t even aware he’d been containing.

A young boy…he sounded like a young boy as he gasped upon touching the lid of the container. The goo slid and crept out, and whatever was held inside ceased moving the moment his fingers traveled down to the center, unlocking the tiny contraption that was holding it together. A loud ‘clasp’ and ‘pop’ echoed in the center of his ears, resonating in the pit of his churning guts.

What was he so fearful of? He’d arrived here for this! One way or another, he was going to take what’d been stolen so unjustly from himself!

Gathering his nerves which were no longer infallible, Sephiroth felt his eyes burning, a testament to how he hadn’t blinked due to how frantic he was becoming. The layers of his psyche all came apart, stripping away like tiny flags and paper floating in the wind and taking flight high above the planet.

The liquid grew thicker and splashed all over his gloves. That didn’t dissuade him; hooking his slippery, wet fingers onto the lid, Sephiroth didn’t even bother to wait and count to a silly number before prying the box open. This was what he’d come here for, and he had a right to peer into the unknown.

Once open, a bright light greeted his sensitive pupils, and Sephiroth blinked away for sheer protection, lest he wished to blind himself. When the light eventually dimmed, Sephiroth supposed it was safe enough to gaze away into the box. Lowering his trembling limb away from his face, he intently focused his sights, hope frozen in his veins like his blood.

“Mother…” a soft, hushed voice whispered. Not at all recognizing it as his own, Sephiroth held a hand against his lips, ready to stifle a dangerous, monstrous cry that no doubt had been threatening to fly out of his mouth.

In the center of the box was one of the worst things a son could ever hope to see, yet he’d been the one to witness it.

The severed head of Jenova was propped right before himself, but her eyes were tightly shut. All around her decaying skull, the green sludge toxically poured around, spilling everywhere and nearly drenching his boots in the disgusting slime.

Sephiroth stepped out of the way, whimpering as he tried gathering his bravery so he could take the severed head with himself. He knew he had to have some courage, but it was difficult when the haunting eyes of the head slowly opened, and laser-like beams judgmentally seeped right through his eyeballs, shattering his mind into a billion pieces.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Sephiroth knew the burdens of travel quite well. He’d trekked through the icy wilderness and steep hills of the snowy town Modeoheim. He’d basked in the harsh, cruel heat of Costa del Sol. Be it underground or above soil, Sephiroth had learned to venture forth, fearless and stoic in the face of grave danger and terrifying adversaries.

The way through Mythril Mine was quite a perilous one, the long stretch of the dungeons no longer in use due to a major infestation. The rumors ceased being rumors when miners disappeared by the dozen. According to tales, they were swallowed whole by a great serpent birthed into the toxic lands.

Sephiroth was no regular man, however. An agenda was brewing in his mind, and he wasn’t going to cease his journey for no one; man, or beast. He knew these mines well, just like the back of his hand. The mines penetrated the mountain range in the eastern continent, connecting the Chocobo Farm in the Grasslands Area to Fort Condor and Junon Area. That was the way he needed to go…

The marshlands were dewy and soggy as ever. He flitted about through them, ears and eyes alert for the first sign of danger. Sephiroth embraced it when it’d arrived. Gleaming, shining orbs slitted as his own, though golden in their color, peered at him menacingly from the shadows.

A deadly rattling sound followed by a sibilant hissing warned him not to venture deeper. Nature had called, but Sephiroth was now willing to work against the malevolent odds. Eventually, he knew that the ashen, serpentine shadow gliding across the marsh would try to dig its morbiferous fangs into his neck, and he was prepared to face this formidable foe.

Stroking the handle of his Masamune, Sephiroth casually walked on. Pausing for a moment, he flipped the length of his weapon up to peer over his shoulder, reflecting the tall vegetation looming behind himself. It hadn’t been touched, so he walked on. This continued for a while, with Sephiroth glancing down into the reflective surface of his blade like a mirror to scour his surroundings.

When a large patch of earth and grass parted the further he traveled, he knew he had to react swiftly and accurately. The Midgar Zolom lived up to is haunting reputation. With just one bite from the ancient being, a fully grown man would go into catatonic shock, the blood in his veins turning blacker than the night.

Slamming his dominant foot down in the dirt, Sephiroth pivoted, weapon ready for battle. The hissing grew louder and stronger, blowing his hair over into his face as the heat and steam rose and engulfed him in the putrid breath of the creature. His heart rate never increased, not even when he eyed it cocking its head closer to him, tail rattling and coiling around his form. In one fell swoop, if he allowed it, the serpent would wrap its carniferous tail around his torso, snap every single one of his bones to powdery dust, and swallow him whole.

Sneering with murderous intent, Sephiroth let three seconds of time pass by. Three seconds was all it would take…all that it needed…their eyes met in the sheen of the length of the Masamune. Two maliferous foes set on the warpath, eager to greet each other and engage in a charming dance that would only promise a fatal end.

Without warning, the abomination dove for him, the physical bite attack ready and poised. Sephiroth leapt into the air swiftly, flying off as the jaws snapped at his heels, barely missing him. Rotating himself, the veracious nature of his promise to the dangerous creature glimmered in his emerald eyes. Masamune drawn back, with a leaping plunge attack, he buried the entire length of his blade into the serpent’s carneous face. Blood poured forth liberally like a geyser, and the Midgar Zolom shrieked in brute pain. The bombastic soundwaves it emitted were deadly, as they were meant to stun its prey.

Tail coiling and shifting, the rancid creature tried whipping the appendage at him. It was a clean motion through the air that nearly had his head had he not ducked right on time. The veracity of the life and death brawl between man and nature was now at its peak. The potent stench of blood filled the air, enough to make anyone sick. Keeping his composure, Sephiroth moved out of the way of a lethal swipe, followed up with another furious bite attack from the gigantic serpent of old.

The wretched, treacherous snake began twisting towards the sky with its head and elongated neck winding about in the air as though bewitched. The lethargic lull meant to ensnare, enamor, and trap its prey had no such effect on Sephiroth. Flying and floating higher and higher, he drew his sharp Masamune back, prepared again for a ferocious charge.

Curving its neck almost in a shape to form that of a question mark, a dull, vibrating hiss channeled from the large serpent as its fangs gleamed in a deadly promise at Sephiroth. Facing each other, then, in the blink of an eye, both powerful opponents dove through the sky at each other.

The enormous reptile rose, while Sephiroth zigzagged cleverly down, motions almost crisscrossing in such an erratic, confusing pattern, so much that the beast wasn’t able to keep up with him. Lashing out like an arrogant, recalcitrant thing, it coiled its tail around its body, head bobbing while it followed Sephiroth with its slitted, beady eyes.

Flying out of the way as it snapped at him, Sephiroth used his strength and wing to create distance between himself and the vermiculous parasite. Avoiding its deadly bite attacks and poisonous fangs, he floated around it, landing gracefully on the back of the vicious beast.

Twice, he shoved the Masamune into its thick, olive green skin. The scales were rather tough to slice through, and there wasn’t time when the animal curled about and thrashed in pain. The Midgar Zolom’s counterattacks in response to Sephiroth’s direct attacks were equally as deadly and potent due to its rapidly declining health and stamina.

Slithering and thrashing, the serpent uncoiled, rising into the air. Sephiroth clung to it with the Masamune shoved through the side of its neck, holding on for dear life. The entire world could’ve been seen from his vantage point, but the courageous, top SOLDIER didn’t mind it all passing himself by. The thrill of the hunt was on, and with thunder and a fiery blend raging in his mind and soul, Sephiroth unleashed his fury unto the snake.

When he flew off its curvaceous, scaly form, the Midgar Zolom began moving away and towards the far-right side of the swamp. Like anything else, it was pitiful, and rather than playing with it as he’d sadistically wanted to, Sephiroth decided to seal its fate. It was much more appropriate to put the damn monster out of its misery.

Furiously, Sephiroth again took off into the air, this time blinding the infernal creature in the left eye. The ground shook as it threw its own tantrum, head thrashing as it squirmed like a great eel from the oasis. It smashed through the swamp, destroying everything chaotically.

Not wanting to drag this out, Sephiroth sensed there unfortunately wasn’t time to share in its misery and plight, even though he’d yearned to.

As the monster wailed and snarled, no doubt cursing him, Sephiroth called upon lightning as he pointed his right hand into the sky. The atmosphere rapidly changed for his sake. His will was its calling, and the skies turned grey and deep green. A sickly presence lingered, and as Sephiroth summoned it, he positioned his Masamune right at the thick clouds. At once, a bolt of lightning struck, and Sephiroth used his weapon to channel the ferocious spark.

Orange, yellow, and white sparks sizzled everywhere, blinding the fractious One Winged Angel, nearly. He could smell smoke in the air when he deflected the lightning, aiming it for one of the thickest, largest trees in the marshlands. Disaster indeed struck; the thick tree snapped off at the base, teetering down near the snake. Due to its pitifully weakened state, the blind animal never noticed the tree.

As it leaned against it, head tilted down, the sharpest end of the tree hovered dangerously close right around the Midgar Zolom’s skull. That wasn’t the end of it. The damn creature never held still as it snapped its jaws aggressively, no doubt trying to use its forked tongue to sense where its attacker had gone. Through its infernal struggling, Sephiroth ran at it, climbing onto it with all his might. Hanging from its neck, with his right hand and wing extended like a phantom limb, he impaled the serpent right through the head.

With a sickening sound of a solid object moving through warm flesh, the large tree slid all the way through the Midgar Zolom’s mouth and jaw, hanging obscenely and gruesomely out of its face. Bringing the rest of his weight down as he hopped onto the tree trunk, Sephiroth rammed the roots and base of the tree back down into the soggy mud, forever nailing the damn serpent right there in the marshlands for all to see.

A monument to his reign. Like a flag, he’d hoisted the creature by the jaws, the stench of blood nearly suffocating. Its non-injured eye rolled back into its head, and it visibly went limp as it succumbed to its fatal wounds.

Content, though not entirely, Sephiroth turned his back on the colossal serpent, studying the perimeter of the foggy, swampy lands. Still, he had a lengthy journey ahead, with miles to venture through. Breaths regulating as the skies grew darker above, Sephiroth’s ears hearkened to a strange shifting sound, closely resembling rustling, like fabric in the wind…

Without even hesitating, in a most precise, skilled motion, he sliced backwards through the air with his left hand, chopping the tail of the Midgar Zolom in half when it tried attacking him one final time. As the tail was chopped clean in half, both portions twitched in a disgusting, execrable manner. Now, the monster was finally left to die. A cautionary tale for those just as foolish.

Yes, this was an utter betrayal of the gods. Through the rivers of blood joining the wet puddles across the marsh, Sephiroth sneered in reverent disgust. More of its kind would no doubt be on the way to replace the being, but they too would only incur his wrath and suffer the consequences just the same.

Let it be a warning…let the message prevail…now, the journey would resume, without interruption.

Sephiroth ventured through until nightfall. The battle with the Midgar Zolom hadn’t drained him, at first. He only realized it when he began limping past the boulders and arrangements of graves, nearly tripping a few times. Pressing on, he felt rewarded when his ears were soothingly greeted by the sound of rushing water…

There was a small lake, in which a grand waterfall would land, overseeing the radiance and gifts of nature. On it shores, a tall figure silently walked. Bathed by the magnificently vast moonlight and the chills of the night winds, with nowhere to go, yet heading for this one specific place, he walked around the lake and made his way behind the waterfall. As he walked inside this hidden cave, the loud noise of the water crashing down dimmed.

Was it by the distance that was growing or by himself drowning into recent souvenirs? No one could tell. Only a few moments ago, he came here. Only a few days since he’d last seen the young man he’d so desperately been trying to protect. Only a few days separated him from then and now, but those memories grew stronger with each footstep. Within his troubled heart, he wished to see his love again, and this time, alone.

Time was quite the fickle thing. Like a gleaming, glittering trinket in a long-forgotten dream, it wasn’t something to be trifled and bargained with, nor was it tangible enough to be contained and managed. It always left right when he needed more, and he didn’t expect for it to ever cater to his will and desires. Time stood for no man, or no beast.

For now, it was best to move on with his plan, and with less time on his side supporting his woes and pitiful miseries, he trudged along with his fulsome, deleterious thoughts. With every step he journeyed along the dreary path, Sephiroth felt ever like the feckless child he was.

The path of the cavern opened into a larger room, bathed in blue light, and surrounded with many tantalizing and enchanting crystals. A small altar at the end of the area where the one who had once been seen was now empty.

Odd…there’d been a lot of torment and pain, here. Though he wasn’t able to sense to whom the memories and pangs of brutal pain and loneliness belonged to, he certainly was no ignorant fool when it came to the sulfuric scent of pain and fear lingering in the air.

Something reflected in the crystals and the odd droplets of water channeling down to the floor. Though he tried absorbing it, his eyes and mind both defied and tricked himself. Perhaps it was the shape of a woman he’d been seeing, or perhaps it wasn’t. For a few moments, he supposed he’d even been able to make out the form of a wolf, but it wasn’t logical. Wolves never ventured this far and this deeply into caves like this, and his presence no doubt had frightened any in the process.

Still, he wasn’t entirely alone. In the expansive clearings and alcoves, the susurrus and distant rustling sounds of movement could be heard. Whispering rose above all else, and it was human. The voice was mournful, pitiful, and the epitome of a broken being cast away in the depths of loneliness.

This silent presence who had once been there in the back of his mind was now here. This presence, so precious to his eyes, served though as a reminder of an unforgiveable past. This dear presence whose whispered voice bounced on the walls in an endless waltz. This voice which called for him, belonged to the one who’d remembered him throughout the years…yet he couldn’t understand how, or why.

“Sephiroth.”

Pausing when he noticed how he lingered a few feet away from the turned back, Sephiroth’s eyes danced blandly along the rich, blood red cape. It trailed like the wings of a moth behind the dark-haired man, extending beyond the dusty, molded ground. If plausible and ordained, the magic and secrets it knew and hid away so well along with its master no doubt would’ve already disappeared down below…where this man rose, and where he belonged, truly.

He didn’t attempt to struggle; not because he felt incapable, but because he was defeated. His will to live was defeated years ago, and his mysterious companion seemed to realize this.

Perhaps it was this that resulted in the infamous ex-SOLDIER finally opening his eyes, instantly greeted by a form he had no true personal quarrels with. As it were, he knew this man as one of his greatest, former opponents.

In a fleeting moment, the figure turned his back to Sephiroth, as though blissful ignorance would solve years of hateful problems bubbling beneath the surface.

Yes, the sour relationship they shared had been the same…until they were bound by the misfortune of meeting to move to different goals, though by similar means.

Sephiroth couldn’t even stop himself from sadistically laughing, and there were no traces of merriment on the receiving end of his amusement.

“...Vincent Valentine.”

Strange, he was enjoying a sublime laughter that almost could’ve been benign, had the nature of his disposition been different.

* * *

Seriously, they need to bring this boss back for part 2 of the remake. PLEASE.


	50. An Alliance, Forged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has got to be one of the most vital chapters of the entire story. I seriously wasn’t ever intending to make Vincent so important to the plot, but I personally believe he’ll have a huge influence in the second installment of the remake, anyway, and this is just my personal spin on things.

From Sephiroth’s photographic memory, the vituperative man hadn’t changed. His hair was long and the color of ebony, and a similar outfit consisting of a red and black cloak that hid himself from the world was perfectly fitting around his agile body.

The metal claw provided good support for swift and keen proficiency in combat, and no doubt frightening his meager foes. Even Sephiroth, who was an inch or two taller than Vincent Valentine in height, and somewhat heavier in muscle mass, didn’t enjoy fixating on the medieval object strewn over the man’s arm.

The silver-haired warrior’s nose seemed to wrinkle in curiosity, though his intimidation lay entirely elsewhere.

Vincent Valentine, and his memories, also brought back the memories of Nibelheim. Sephiroth knew he’d been there, and his suspicions were proven correct as he felt trapped in the past, writhing in those vile memories. It was Avalanche who’d awakened him, and Sephiroth had seen them in company of the former Turk, departing from the Shinra Mansion through the tall, rusty gates.

Sneering, Sephiroth spat with morbid manners, “It’s a shame you’re walking over the soil of this planet, again.”

Icily, the barbed words of the former Turk rang through in his own retaliation. “Good to see you, as well.”

Sephiroth sneered an execrable sneer, to which Vincent merely raised a gloved hand, index finger resting vertically over his lips in a silent ‘hush’.

“Welcome to my quarters,” the inscrutable, raven-haired one spoke through the stillness, voice crisp yet far-off sounding. Peering around the damp cave, Vincent added, “I’ve never entertained a guest, before…”

The tall warrior walked forward and knelt near the altar. Knees bent beneath his own weight, he sat right next to the strange man who’d recently re-entered his world. Like a malignant tumor, he threatened everything, yet Sephiroth knew he could also prove useful.

When it came to matters of the heart, he wished to see Cloud again. Torn in numerous directions, with so many things needing to be said and so little time, he set aside his flaming ego and dangerously enormous pride before it consumed Cloud. This wasn’t the moment to be uncaring, callous, and gallionic. The innocent would suffer and defray for his crimes, and Cloud was first on that list.

Worried, Sephiroth repressed a shiver, but his snarky companion already noticed it. His whole life, for so long, had only revolved around serving different masters and owning his life up to different causes. Now, as a stark contrast, his world revolved around Cloud Strife. But that didn’t mean the young man’s life was his to take.

No, it needed to be protected, and through Cloud’s death, if it ever happened, Sephiroth knew his own life also would come to an end. The tragic tale of a star-crossed love. It was his story, but one he felt wasn’t uncommon when it came to his unusual companion.

As though seeing him for the first time, the man shook his head, baffled in all his glory. “Sephiroth…so this truly isn’t a figment of my warped imagination?”

The derisory laugh that escaped from himself sounded foreign, even to his own ears. “I’m afraid it isn’t the case, Valentine.”

Searching through the open cave, Vincent roughly pushed out, “I should kill you. This opportunity to right my wrongs is mine for the taking.”

“You shall have it,” the mako eyed one finally hissed, his eyes shut tight in defense from the gleams of the crystals and ripples moving throughout the cave that played over his fallen form. The other figure crouched in defense yet seemed to refuse even daring to touch him.

Pausing, Sephiroth finally hissed caustically, “Well? What’re you waiting for, Turk?”

Was this an enemy? Would he have to suffer more torture and torment that would never actually kill him? Or was this a foolish man-child who had heard the stentorian tales of Sephiroth, yet was only boasting that he could do something to end his miserable life, after all?

The fallen warrior found he genuinely didn’t care.

…At least, not until the soft leather of a black glove traced his face. His arm. His body. And then, he was whisked into a pair of strong, warm arms without any trouble. These arms…he knew them from his own body memorizing how they fit around himself. That scent…he recognized it, and it was impossible to forget…

Choking on his strained gasp, he felt around the air as he whined desperately, “Cloud? Is that you?”

No…those comforting arms were gone; the warmth that had visited him was a fleeting part of his tortured imagination. That sweet presence had punished him as it now left him alone in grief. Silence persisted, and he turned his neck to the side, instantly being met with the murderous glare of the bizarre man seated next to his weak form.

Ashamed of his reactions to the minor forms of contact born through treachery of the mind, Sephiroth clung to his sullied uniform, wishing he could disappear permanently. No doubt, the mesquin Turk would ungraciously use all his weaknesses against him…how like the opportunist to hone his blade and re-shape his killing instinct through such barbarous methods.

With an elegant quirk of a dark colored brow, Vincent intoned, “You’ve bound yourself to the young man, haven’t you?”

Sephiroth only glared in gaumless silence, but it confirmed Vincent’s statements and righteous suspicions.

Leaning back, placing his hands on his bent knees, Vincent muttered vacantly, “Damn you, and damn him, then.” In his final barbed insult, he ground out thinly, “Damn you both.”

Raking his stinging eyeballs to the dark ceiling and wondrous shadows looming all around, Sephiroth eventually espied the gracious sights that were comprised of the white, blue, purple, and aquamarine crystals jutting out in all sorts of interesting angles. Mesmerized by them, Sephiroth still had no idea what kind of importance this cave of crystals held for Vincent Valentine.

“This is where it all began, didn’t it, Valentine?” A hoarse laugh had been prepared, yet no sound came out of his throat, again. Just whispers and violent coughing. Sephiroth clutched at his sternum, brushing back his uniform straps and lapels as he gazed down wearily at his many wounds.

Only the tightening of his gloved fingers revealed Vincent’s irritation and vexation. Voice husky, he gruffly replied through pursed lips, “Yes, but it’s my own concern to finish what you started.” Teeth shining brightly when he aimed a sadistic grin at Sephiroth, his eyes flickered down to Sephiroth’s gaping wounds and blood seeping through.

“Painful, isn’t it?”

Dabbing and touching at his gashes and cuts, Sephiroth hatefully scowled. “The reminder wasn’t necessary, but I now know I wasn’t missing much.”

Vincent’s red eyeballs never once looked to him even as they both retreated in their minds, bringing themselves back to the haunting mansion. The same place stored so much pain for them, and through their pain, they strangely understood one another.

The steady dripping of water alerted them to the knowledge that they had nothing to say to each other. Not a single word transpired. No words had passed the former Turk’s lips after he’d whispered the other man’s name, though Sephiroth was grateful for the silence. They both needed it…

Reflection was key, for now, and it was all they had. Sephiroth’s Masamune had somehow entered the picture, strewn before his knees, while Vincent’s firearm also had been lying on the ground. The lights gleamed and bounced off the sheen of their deadly weapons, as though crying out the promises and threats their masters couldn’t muster to offer.

The silence was kept between the two warriors on opposite moral sides, until Sephiroth felt his patience had been lain on the altar of truth that Vincent himself never vowed to and would use. The rest of the cave was dusty, quite like the rest of the room they were sat in and provided evidence that Vincent Valentine was not particularly ecstatic about what was clean and orderly. Hundreds of years’ worth of grief held him back as he focused his thoughts on whatever conflicted himself.

The wind howled through the holes in the fixtures and walls, and the Masamune sung back in glee. Sephiroth placed a hand down upon his trusted weapon with an amount of surprisingly graceful care, as though silence the weeping of an infant.

Observing for a moment, Vincent studied his frame, and then took to glaring at his own firearm. After an age, the Turk finally whispered dejectedly, “You care for him, don’t you? You’re truly besotted with Cloud.”

Sephiroth couldn’t bring himself to answer. He feared his heart would shatter if he uttered his reply. What good would it do to break down in front of an enemy? His pride and ego had already been long abandoned and wounded, but he didn’t want to die away in front of this man.

Vincent seemed to understand as he watched him for a moment without saying a word.

The disbelief that Sephiroth had earlier traced wasn’t there anymore and Vincent’s eyes held a strange acceptance, perhaps even approval.

Mako-infused, emerald eyes closed; the other’s gaze too intense for himself at that moment.

With a curt, plaintive nod of the head, Vincent rasped, “And he cares for you…this…infatuated young man.” Stopping only to dig his fingers into the pant legs of his dark uniform pants, Vincent demurred, “Admirable, but incredibly stupid.”

Vincent’s order and baulked rule in his gentle voice was too great. Coupled with Sephiroth’s throbbing head filled to the brim with concern, the onslaught of provocative sensations seemed to hypnotize the silver-haired man kneeling helplessly on the cold ground of the old cave.

He could feel his joints beginning to ache now, and his body recognized fresh waves of pain. His mind however, seemed to become more focused on reality, and the haunting voice of Jenova grew quieter, and quieter, sounding like a persistent, yet tolerable buzzing when Vincent Valentine returned his venomous scowl unto his foe.

Sephiroth felt as though the Turk was trying to destroy and damn him forever with that glare alone, and truthfully, he knew he deserved such a fate.

Lips drawn back, a feral Vincent Valentine spoke out his promise like a deadly passing of law that no one would be able to shoot down and fight back. “You’ll kill him, but before you even dare, I’m going to kill you, myself.”

“Sounds charming, Valentine; you’d be doing me a great service, actually.” Chuckling, even though it wasn’t at all amusing, Sephiroth only ceased when his throat clenched, bile rising and nearly choking himself.

Resorting to coughing like an ailing one, he covered his mouth with a weak hand, trembling in anger and fear. When he drew his hand back, he spotted specks and drops of blood littering his glove, making it seem blacker than death itself.

Not at all pleased even though his enemy was suffering, Vincent drawled in a tedious tone, “That’s not what you’re here for, is it?” The sore-vexed entity seemed somewhat relieved that Sephiroth hadn’t moved.

Dejected, Sephiroth simply sat by the Turk’s side without any caution. He only shifted when Vincent drew out several cure materia from one of his pockets, holding them up gracefully.

Leaping away, Sephiroth cried out in bewilderment, “Don’t! What’re you—”

He could feel his own deep, green mako eyes watching the Turk with disbelief as the older male pressed the materia into Sephiroth’s more obvious wounds. The others were left to heal alone, but Vincent didn’t doubt that they would be gone in the maximum of several hours, at the most.

Lifting his head, the older fighter growled deeply, “This should buy you some time, but you’re still alarmingly close to the end.”

However, he was still aware of root source of infection brimming and festering in his soul, so the little ‘comfort’ in Vincent’s actions and words had been fleeting, at the very best. The materia had brought to Sephiroth a sensation akin to a warm washcloth that was dipped in anesthetic. It helped, though marginally.

Vincent glowered at him with all the hatred he could offer before he proceeded to slowly run his fingers over Sephiroth’s exposed wounds, the magic of the cure materia collecting and cleaning away blood and dirt. Eventually, Vincent ceased touching his enemy, and his hands fell back into his lap, folding and twining with the fingers in a perfect fit.

Snorting, Sephiroth inquired, “Why’re you helping me?”

Silencing his theories with one ferocious scowl, Vincent stiffly protested, “I’m not; I’m helping myself.”

Not shocked to hear such a declaration and admission, Sephiroth sniffed as he shrugged, barely managing to pull the non-committal gesture off.

“Why aren’t you dead?”

The direct question did not take the silver-haired man by surprise at all. Instead of feeling offended, he simply tilted his head an inch to the side, his vision directed and focused on a dark stain on the wall. He couldn’t quite figure out what it was, though he tried. Perhaps it was simply the age of the mystical cave and Vincent Valentine’s dislike for cleaning. His lips pursed into a pout momentarily before parting again as his moist tongue darted out to wet them slightly.

“I’ve found myself asking the same thing, Turk.” Laughing a short, brisk laugh, he shook his head and added swiftly, “It seems death keeps eluding me when I’m in need of it the most.”

Glaring resolutely, Vincent ducked his head into the high collar of his red cloak. As his face was concealed, he whispered with contempt, “I seldom care, but you’re still needed, aren’t you?”

“Why didn’t you try to kill me?” Sephiroth’s spurned response, the answering of a question with a question, was not particularly annoying to Vincent. In fact, Sephiroth almost swore that he detected a faint trace of a smile over the other man’s pale lips.

Just then, Sephiroth turned his gaze towards the former Turk, noting for the first time that the handsome, black-haired man had removed his one glove, and now eased the wounds in his torso with his good hand. His fingers occasionally brushed Sephiroth’s skin, though from time to time, they purposefully dug into the most painful areas.

Wrenching his body away, Sephiroth snapped angrily, “Was that deliberate?”

Not even hesitating, Vincent replied, “Of course. I have no genuine desire to keep you safe and alive, but I’m only doing so because Cloud Strife is the last chance our planet has.”

Sephiroth had to assent. “Yes, he was always the stronger one. I realized it much too late.”

Tapping and flicking a few fingers in the center of Sephiroth’s forehead, Vincent additionally threw out more barbed words, like one who was passing off harsh judgement. “Even one as dense as yourself finally knows this…how grand.”

Turning deaf ears to the childish commentary, Sephiroth resided to his self-imposed silence, stewing and fuming while Vincent glared at his own limbs, as though wishing he could burn or chop them off.

“I cannot die,” Vincent stated softly after some time, “but you _can_ , now.” His fingertips touched Sephiroth’s lower chest, targeting a cut just above his stomach.

He answered the question Sephiroth had asked him, and the question that he had asked Sephiroth in three simple words. The former Turk had a sense of desperation about himself, loneliness that meant he could have accepted into his company, for even a moment, a man that was supposed to be his enemy.

And Sephiroth would accept anyone that would keep him from his insanity.

“Once upon a time, I too couldn’t perish…” Without even coming off as depressed or forlorn, he pushed down upon his wound, emitting a shrill cry of total defeat and pain. Hopelessly, Sephiroth blinked through his small tears at his foe while pleading, “I need your help…to save him, please…”

It was ironic, really, that the man who had once been known as death would come to this strait, would plead for life. He’d killed more mortals and immortals than most people met in a dozen lifetimes. What was one more life to the harbinger and agent of death? What mother pleading for her baby had ever stilled his blade? What lover or terrified man or child had felt his mercy?

Not a single one. They’d fallen before him without exception. He’d taken life indiscriminately and gloried in the ability to do so. A man who’d claimed so many lives for his own pleasure…what right did he have to ask for a life that mattered to himself be spared?

This boy so young but who had seen so much, so doomed to cross his path. Cloud never deserved this. All his life, he’d had faith and a strong conviction that everything would be alright if one only smiled. That had been the carefree version of Cloud Strife one could hope to find frolicking through the open meadows and fields with his friends as the evening, setting sun kissed each of their forms radiantly and brought out their innocence. 

Briefly, due to his antics, Sephiroth found himself fondly amused with the youth, no matter how detached he’d made and forced himself to feel around the younger man.

Reading through him like an open book laid bare, Vincent randomly blurted, “Your union is a total menace to the order of things. It’s abhorrent, vile, hideous, in every respect, and it should be shunned.”

The lights of the odd fireflies and crystals in the cave seeped through, brightening his pale face. Perhaps even they had to assent with Vincent as the rays illuminated his ghoulish visage. Though it never left Sephiroth feeling awe-inspired and comforted, there was a sense of accomplishment anytime he looked into his formidable foe’s eyes.

Still icy in his mannerisms, Vincent’s bland veneer remained shielded and protected. Stoically, the man murmured, lips barely flapping, “Though, you cannot help with whom you fall in love…isn’t that right?”

Blinking through his torments, Sephiroth expounded, “I never trust; I’ve learned that trust is always broken and abused for personal gain. Cloud showed me differently, however.” Smiling as he recalled his lover’s face right before himself, he continued. “I saw none of that in him, however; only an innocence I hope he will never lose.”

Huffing in disapproval, Vincent protested, “No matter how you word it, no matter how you choose to color the damn thing and paint it in the best rays of commendable light, you _will_ falter, and when you do, I shall be there waiting for you, monster.”

Lifting his head and pointing his chin straight ahead, Sephiroth curtly bit out, “Good. I’m counting on it.”

Not even bothering to initiate eye contact, Vincent hung his head, eyelids closing as he sat there in perhaps a mockery of his own version of meditation. The pose was iconic for such, and he seemed to bask in the silence of the cave while he remained statuesque.

While he sat there next to the enigmatic, former Turk, Sephiroth had to find his own amusement in his odd twist of fate.

Pride and ego aside, here he was, about to plead his case to an avenger as determined as the man known by the moniker of death to many for so long. Sephiroth knew he’d been blood drunk as much as Vincent; together, perhaps, they would travel to the ends of the world, seeking revenge on each other.

Another lifetime, perhaps…

It was comical, really, in that tragically unfunny way fate had of hoisting the arrogant on their own petards before turning their own weapons against themselves.

Time was, when the One Winged Angel and his brothers walked the grounds of Gaia, the very planet shook in fear of them. No one was safe from their ravages and bloody depredations. Death never pleaded for anything. He took as he saw fit, riding with a band of killers, sadists all, who made death’s cruelty seem a mercy.

But the despoliations had come to an end. Sephiroth’s band of brothers were dead, now. Those days were long gone, as was the man known to masquerade as death. All that remained was the body that had housed the Grim Reaper. The soul in that body was tired, so tired of the killing.

And therein lay the irony. Death had sampled his fill of killing, but even death itself was powerless to stop it. And Sephiroth had tried. These past five years, especially in his dreaming, oh, how he’d tried! Over twenty-eight years without a quickening. Nearly three full decades he’d spent without wasting a single mortal life.

Head still hung low as though praying, Vincent purred, “Twelve thousand, four-hundred weeks devoted to healing. Over eighty-six-thousand, eight-hundred days given to research and bettering the human condition…and it was all meaningless.”

Yes, it certainly was, especially when a title the gods had worn nearly three millennia ago could rear its nasty head and steal his present reality, just as he’d stolen all those lives countless years ago.

It was a justice of sorts that he’d be brought to this strait, Sephiroth supposed, but it hardly seemed fair. He’d buried the entire human race, or so it seemed, some days. There were times when just one more loss could perhaps break the last bits of his psyche.

Through Cloud’s eyes, he knew that Zack’s death had been almost too much to bear. To lose Cloud…that would almost be as bad as forfeiting Angeal’s and Genesis’ friendship…which he may have already done, and no doubt would do many times over if it meant leading to the same path he was walking, now.

Eyeing him wearily, Vincent broke through the steady silence. “For whatever unknown reason, you don’t wish for him to suffer, and you don’t wish for him to die.”

When Sephiroth only nodded weakly, the dark-haired man concluded, “As it is; I still loathe you, and I still wish to send you off where you won’t ever be remembered.”

Eyebrows tightened, Sephiroth acerbically threw back, “And I detest you just as much, Valentine.”

So, Vincent nodded in his concurrence, and they remained in silence as the crimson eyed man continued to clean and add antiseptic to the various wounds Sephiroth seemed to still sport. Vincent Valentine knew all too well that he should’ve been a thousand times more cautious, and even Sephiroth understood that he should’ve tried to restrain the former Turk. Yes, he should’ve been trying to take his life…

“You want to finish me right now, as I wish to gift you with that same treatment.” Dully, Vincent gazed past his companion. While his words seemed shrewd and barbed, his arms rested back in his lap. He hated the man, yet he saw no threat in the collapsed form of Sephiroth.

He only saw in Sephiroth what he felt in himself; a world of confusion and blinding pain.

Uncaring, Vincent’s apathy shined on brightly like a beacon in the depressing night. “Do you eat at all?” the bitter man inquired, raising a curious eyebrow as he shifted, ignoring how the rocks and soil beneath their weight was already stained with Sephiroth’s deep red blood.

Petulantly, Sephiroth snapped, “Easy to ask for a man who spent half his life in a damn casket.”

“Better a box than to hide away in the shadows like a coward.”

Frozen at once due to how raw and accurate the argued point was, Sephiroth could only press his lips together firmly, fearful that his tongue would further embarrass himself.

Smirking, though not in a pleasant manner, Vincent added, “You bleed, but I have yet to see you consume anything in the way of food or sustenance to keep going.” He seemed almost reluctant to leave Sephiroth, as if fearing that the One Winged Angel would disappear from his sights the moment he blinked or averted his gaze.

Trying to ‘placate’ him in any way he could, Sephiroth crudely stated, “I’m nothing. I somehow found fuel to keep on going, but now that my time’s almost up, I’m begging you to help me save Cloud.”

Shock and awe didn’t even measure up to a descriptive value as Vincent’s red eyes widened just a fraction before he caught himself reacting in such a way to Sephiroth’s desperate plea.

Snidely rebuffing the very notion, Vincent turned his face away as he fired out contemptuously, “How ironic; the very creature designed and fashioned artificially, bastardized over the years by scientists to be developed for chaotic destruction, is now begging for me to save the life of a mere ‘mortal’; someone who shouldn’t even be worthy, in his eyes.”

Sephiroth croaked with a strained voice, “Please…I was wrong in thinking that I was greater…just…please…”

Wistfully, Vincent rejected this plea. Shaking his head slowly a few times as though it weighed a ton, he eventually rasped through clenched teeth, “No. I’m not going to interfere in this more than I already have.”

Nearly stuttering due to his panic rising in his chest and throat, Sephiroth growled hazardously and desperately, “Please…this is all I ask.”

“I said no. I’m not going to become involved, and that’s final.”

There was nothing underhanded, deceitful, or dastardly about that proclamation, and it still drove Sephiroth mad.

A hidden tantō knife slid out from the length of his sleeve, flashing dangerously in the space between them. Abruptly, and without warning, Sephiroth held onto the handle of the concealed blade, drawing it up to Vincent’s neck. Pressing it firmly over the pallor of his throat-what little of it was exposed, Sephiroth met his foe’s eyes evenly.

Blade shiny and bright as the promise of torture lingering past his hooded eyes, Sephiroth nodded slowly and deliberately. “Yes, you will.”

With a mild flutter, at best, Vincent hardly blinked down at the sharpest point of the weapon while it sank slowly into the first layer of his skin. Unperturbed, he rolled his eyes as he blandly commented, “I told you, I cannot die, and I don’t wish to fight you, right now.”

Sephiroth’s grip shook, but he didn’t dare relinquish his hold on the tantō knife. Again, he desperately begged, “Just help him…if you can’t bring yourself to listen to my words, think of Cloud, please.”

Turning his nose in the air in hatred, Vincent demanded, “Put that away; it’ll do us no good to banter right now.”

As the Turk tried pressing down on Sephiroth’s arm, the captious One Winged Angel was quick to react. Nearly nicking the skin on Vincent’s chin, he snarled in a warning, “Stop moving, or I’ll—”

But Vincent wouldn’t let him withdraw. Collectedly, Vincent took hold of his clenched hand and gently pried it open, dropping the tantō knife down at their knees. Even though Sephiroth didn’t want to give in so easily, he couldn’t resist further without making a ridiculous show of it, which he was curiously reluctant to do, despite being hurt. It was almost as though he were incapable of turning away from any effort Vincent made to get through to him.

Shaking his head dejectedly, Vincent ground out, patience running thin, “You’ll do no such thing right now in that state. You can hardly even keep your eyes open.”

He was so sensitized to the other man, so much that now, Sephiroth could tell that Vincent Valentine was fully aware of the struggle he was going through. He hated being this transparent, especially with someone as strong as this stolid Turk, but that was part of the deal. Two strong warriors fighting for different causes, but for once, they weren’t allowed to clash.

“You can’t open your heart to love, not without opening it to hurt, as well.” A sneer drove itself over the raven-haired man’s face as he resentfully admonished, “Even though you’re a totally lethal, reckless, uncaring, inauspicious man, you’ve defied the odds; you’ve grown to care.”

Despite his downfall and failure, Sephiroth noticed how Vincent didn’t take advantage of his weakness. Instead of commenting or capitalizing on it, Vincent lifted one of Sephiroth’s gloved hands. Carefully peeling the glove off, he studied the calloused knuckles, the bruised flesh, and the clean fingernails. With a huff, he pressed the limb down.

“As I thought; the hands of a delicate warrior, no longer fit for battle.” A self-satisfied grin ate away at his features, giving him quite the twisted appearance. “Pitiful, really.”

Finishing his statement off with a sarcastic bow, he recapitulated cruelly, “Your plans all went wrong; Cloud and Avalanche have a chance to beat you, for once, and while licking your damn wounds, you thought you could come here and request my help?”

There was a reverent quality to the gesture that was entirely at odds with the brush off Sephiroth thought was going on, here. Even to his own ears and judgement, it sounded extremely idiotic. Vincent Valentine didn’t owe him a damn thing, and Sephiroth had no place even asking for anything from this disturbed person.

Waving him off, Vincent shunned him away. “If that’s all you’ve come here for, then take your leave while you still can.”

Lifting his head, Sephiroth simply stared at him for a long moment before making any kind of reply. Instead of answering straight out, the former SOLDIER took one of the roundabout courses that he always seemed more comfortable with and proclaimed with a wince, “I have an offer for you. One that may not exactly be the goal you were hoping to accomplish, but it’ll bring you some satisfaction, I wager.”

Vincent’s eyes turned to him, but his neck and head stiffly faced forward.

Leaning close to him, Sephiroth whispered under his labored breath, “Tempted?”

Not yet shooting that down, Vincent elucidated stoically, “There are patterns in life that repeat themselves time and again, demon. You’ve lived long enough to know what I’m talking about.”

Sephiroth only nodded his understanding. Importunately, he reiterated, “I know what you want. You wish to eradicate your sins and forget them.” Patting himself down, he pointedly stated, “Here I kneel at your side, and yet you hold reservations. Why?”

Teeth sliding out from his upper lip, giving him quite the vampiric look, Vincent’s eyes glowed even redder. “I’d need a better reason to respond than what’s currently on offer. A swift death isn’t what I have in mind for you.”

Licking his lips, Sephiroth continued, “I, ah, I am intimately acquainted with all the possible transmutations that most affairs of the heart can take, except this one. Tonight, I was certain that it would follow a course that, while painful, was excruciatingly familiar. There was a certain…masochistic comfort in that. But now….”

“Yes?”

Hanging his head, he decided to be up front and succinct. Vincent Valentine wasn’t a man he could fool easily, and Sephiroth had long since given up on that childish game. Putting his mind to what his heart wanted and what his soul was connected to, he hardly was able to contain his fleeting, agonizing cry.

“Cloud…”

Taking on a moue of total disgust, Vincent acerbically barked, “You’ve turned many treacherous years of experience on its proverbial ear.”

The warped humor in the dark-haired man’s attitude was forced and brittle. No doubt, Sephiroth recognized the tone, that studied calm that told himself it was taking everything Vincent had to hold it together, presently.

Grinding his teeth together, the deadly man commented as though telling a forbidden tale, “It…isn’t easy to stare redemption in the face. Gaia knows, the gods know, I’ve suffered through that and still _must_ pay for my misdeeds. I won’t ever rest until you’re finished.”

Gripping at the cloth of his uniform, Sephiroth rasped brokenly, “Please, just…have patience with me. I can’t take this lightly, not yet.”

Holding up his clawed, golden arm to silence his junior companion, Vincent brutally pressed out, “I’ve never known of any demon or monster who could convince me well enough that they have the capacity to love.”

Stunned and hopeless, Sephiroth gulped, barely able to breathe around the lump of emotion this man had put in his throat, let alone speak. It had summed up to two tries before he could find his voice to answer. When he was able to make out the words, they sounded gruff and raspy, even to his own ears.

“You see what we’re doing as your redemption, then?” What was he even asking this man?

Vincent’s ferociously driven face quirked in a somehow self-deprecating and self-mocking manner as he gave a slow nod of confirmation. “That’s how it feels, Sephiroth, melodramatic as that may sound.” Resting his arm back over his lap, he dryly asserted, “You haven’t the faintest of ideas what true loss is like.”

This time, it was Vincent who squeezed his eyes closed. “All I’d done was love a woman who wasn’t destined to be mine, the same way you’ve tried so passionately to love a single person in your misbegotten life.” Having made his initial point, he dipped his head to one side as he stared at Sephiroth from head to toe.

Sneering in disdain at whatever he’d found, Vincent vehemently and hatefully hissed with venom sliding between his words, “You feel the course of destruction our planet’s set on, I know you do, and yet you’re so selfish to seek Cloud as your own redemption?”

Sephiroth truly understood. It was humbling and almost incomprehensibly moving, in both the worst of ways, yet also in the grand fabric of all that was utmost beauty in the world.

“It’s not melodramatic, at least not to yourself,” Vincent declaimed at last, shoulders sinking as he slumped forward.

Forcing himself not to give in to his quaking and trembling, Sephiroth-in an utterly composed fashion as one could be in his sorry state-sheepishly orated, “Cloud won’t kill me, and I won’t dare to ask him to end his own life. I couldn’t bear it.”

Raising an inquisitive brow while the corners of his mouth danced up, Vincent inquired in mild amusement, “Can’t kill you, or won’t?”

Not one to be amused regarding this grim fact, Sephiroth bit out waspishly, “He just won’t, and I don’t think he can, either.”

It was so hard for them to be this open, this vulnerable to one another. He could see how intensely uncomfortable Vincent was now, but it’d been expected. Sephiroth knew that this man supposed he had ruled the world when it was young. When one wielded that kind of power, it was naturally a given that fear would associate with that tremendous power and growth. Only now, Sephiroth didn’t want to become a god among mankind, nor did he wish to shape the planet using the Greater Lifestream.

Almost resentfully, he whispered, “When you are born into the life I was, you learn never to show weakness, to anyone. Even after twenty-eight years of civilized living, these habits are still hard to break. And beyond that, it was never easy to appear less than strong in the eyes of another man.”

Blunt and heavy on the sarcasm, Vincent offered smugly, “That’s a great attitude to have, isn’t it?”

Retreating into his thoughts, Sephiroth knew he couldn’t stand seeing Cloud agonize over his sorry state. Over the years, the older warrior had sampled so many experiences where personalities, needs, and motivations had clashed, that the unexpected joy he’d found with the adolescent in a few weeks was akin to a breath of fresh air by comparison.

Though they were constantly debating, they didn’t fight over miniscule, insignificant details, or even the important issues; Cloud didn’t push him for anything he didn’t openly offer, be it confidences or caresses. They were…simpatico. It wasn’t right that Cloud should suffer through the brunt of the worst only brought on by a bitter, cruel parasite that lived within Sephiroth.

Knowing only one way to assuage his enemy’s wounded pride, Vincent quietly offered, “You’re not the only one overwhelmed here, you know.” Clicking his teeth together, he sighed, “I can end it for you quite easily, if that’s what you’re looking for, though I’ll never be pleased with that, personally.”

Sephiroth tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, his brows arching a little. His features turned openly to take on an encouraging demeanor, and, in the space of a heartbeat, Sephiroth found himself looking directly at Vincent Valentine. To his reverent awe, the grave, wary warrior of seconds ago was now completely gone. In his place, Vincent Valentine, the man before Shinra and the Turks, simply glanced on feebly.

As always, Sephiroth didn’t know which one was real. All he knew was that he was glad to be dealing with the mild-mannered watcher and not the Turk who’d wanted to bring him unfeeling death. He could say what he wanted to say to Vincent, now, for all that the entire agent of death persona Vincent often entertained might’ve been a sham.

Hopeless once again, Sephiroth affirmed, “I need for you to kill me, yes. I’ve considered this for a long time. I fear I’ll inadvertently harm Cloud if I abruptly cut off our bond.” Smiling a forlorn and desolate smile, he admitted meekly, “I’ve never sealed myself with another being’s soul, and there’s no way to predict how unstable this is.”

While Vincent watched and listened with increasing amounts of rapt attention, resentfully, the silver-haired warrior ground out under a putrid breath, “That whelp of a girl was right.”

His shocked enemy spun around to face him, fire sparking in his eyes. “You’re serious about gambling with his fate as well as your own…” Bewildered, his breath hitched in his throat, and he blinked rapidly before he muttered despondently, “You’re…you’re insane…”

“I’m telling you the truth.” Skirting past how weak and small he sounded, Sephiroth’s smooth voice slid through the air like a sharply honed blade cutting along silk. “Only I can end Cloud, or he can end my life, but I _can’t_ kill him, and he _can’t_ kill me, either. We’re at an impasse, you see.”

Bunching up his hands tighter than they could go, Vincent roared mightily, “Then set him free, Sephiroth!”

Sacrifice…there it was again, and this time, Vincent hadn’t even uttered the damn word.

Shaking him lightly, Vincent exclaimed vehemently, “You cannot force acceptance or forgiveness on this young man, Sephiroth. Either they are gifts willingly given or you ask someone to live a lie.” Tossing his tormented junior a look of complete despair, he cried, “For once in your damn life, do the proper thing, if you _really_ consider this young man one piece of your soul.”

Shrugging his arm off a tad roughly, Sephiroth growled, “I need to know where the ground lies between life and death, who I can turn my back on and how far I can trust them.” Snarling, almost, he asked gruffly, “Will you do this for me?”

Swallowing as though nervous, Vincent orated carefully, “Though well intentioned, what you’re asking of me, once done, and once discovered by your bond-mate, will ensure that Cloud Strife will only foster resentment and censure for us both.” Glumly, Vincent supplied, “I will not live that kind of charade, not even for your sake. Cloud must make up his own mind in this.”

Vincent’s brittle tone was reminiscent of that which Sephiroth had used multiple times when he was furious with Cloud. Looking at his odd, estranged enemy, Sephiroth suddenly realized that this tortured, broken creature was still stretched to his emotional limits. Abruptly, he recalled what Cloud had told him about his nasty habits of underestimating others, looking down upon them, and often belittling them.

Was there even one damn thing the innocent young man had been wrong about?

Cradling his head, Sephiroth weakly bemoaned, “He…I c-can’t trust his mind, nor is he able to trust it, himself. The bond isn’t aiding in either of us making logical decisions.”

Vincent’s gruff voice slammed into his ears at once, nearly frightening him right out of his skin. “I’ll help you then, fiend, but only on one condition.”

“What do you mean?” Sephiroth quickly asked, feeling the first glimmer and heat of hope spreading throughout his frigid body once the words clicked into his inflamed brain.

“The only way I will see this through, is if you truly wither up and perish, never to return again, Sephiroth…that’s what my greatest wish for you is,” Vincent confessed, eyes glinting dangerously while he steadfastly held onto Sephiroth’s penetrating gaze.

The younger male was left feeling unsure whether he wanted to test this, but he couldn’t deny that he was unwilling to leave Vincent feeling like he was the only one swimming upstream.

“Sephiroth, that’s my condition,” Vincent barked at him in a clipped tone. “Do we have a deal?”

With a curt, stiff nod, Sephiroth sealed the promise. “We have a deal. Cloud may try to stop you, however, you must try to see this through, but _only_ if I’ve obtained what I need from the Cetra, and _only_ when she and Cloud are completely safe.” Nostrils flaring like a mad beast, he rasped desperately, “D-do you hear me?”

Growling in his impatience, Vincent replied, “Loud and clear, demon.”

Confirmation was nearly sealed; they had made a pact. Steadily, Sephiroth gazed out the murky entrance of the gloomy cave, brows knotted as he wove through his own pain and grief.

Hardly lifting his head, he then declaimed more like a demand, “Meet me in the Temple of the Ancients when you can.”

Confirming and complying with his eyes, alone, Vincent curtly bowed his head before staring throughout the cave, looking for nothing, yet desiring for something special, perhaps only known to himself.

The silver-haired man sighed, and finally closed his eyes, his fingers touching the sore wounds beneath the cool shield of his uniform. Vincent had asked him to sleep, forever, so he would. After all, Jenova wasn’t screaming at him, now. She was still there, as always, but the fact that Vincent Valentine, a former enemy, was at his side to do this last bidding, was far more overpowering.

Eventually, when he’d returned to his private thoughts and burdensome shadows, Sephiroth achieved sleep. It would be only to regain his energy, but he found himself in a comfortable trance, in a state that he hadn’t felt for a very long time, if ever.

The infamously known warrior did not dream. Dreams were sometimes considered curses, and Sephiroth did not wish for more troubled thoughts upon himself, especially when he was desperately trying to escape his sins.

So, he didn’t dream, yet for twelve hours, Sephiroth found himself quite content. He was happy in the knowledge that his troubled mind would rest permanently, for the first time in decades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My days are numbered, soon I have to leave,  
> The Norns have stretched my living thread…  
> The notion of my demise won’t leave me be,  
> Why cannot death just set me free?  
> I’ve lived a life of prosperity,  
> But I’m not as young as I used to be,  
> Down the road waits misery,  
> Why cannot death just set me free?
> 
> Amon Amarth, Across the Rainbow Bridge


	51. Vinushka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we are brought up to the recent events of the final battle in the Temple of the Ancients from Sephiroth’s POV (includes what he did to poor Tseng, and his mysterious conversation with Cait Sith).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is based off one of my favorite Dir en Grey songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W0h2yht6IA&list=RD8W0h2yht6IA&start_radio=1&ab_channel=IamHethington
> 
> If you look up the lyrics, it can totally fit the entire feeling I wanted to get out in this chapter regarding how Sephiroth feels for Cloud and his struggles deeply within himself.
> 
> https://genius.com/Dir-en-grey-vinushka-english-translation-lyrics

_He’d never dreamed that he would become human ever again, but it’d happened. Like any human, however, Sephiroth was a broken individual, surrendering to oscitancy, in the end. Blearily, he woke when his mind decided that it’d accrued enough REM sleep, and the silver-haired man began to turn under the heavy pressure and trepidation of his elegiac thoughts._

_The wench had to go and get involved, didn’t she? Little Aerith and her pleasantries knew no bounds. It was her calling, though. He couldn’t fault her for it. She was a piercing force of light, and he was the harbinger of the bleak end. Together, they were at odds, but unbeknownst to Aerith, Sephiroth had veered off-course a long time ago._

_He’d never spoken to her, before, but he had no particular interest in what she knew. Sephiroth’s only hope rested within Cloud and saving their defiled, chaotic world._

_A colossal risk had been taken when he’d tried sealing up the Northern Cave Crater with his powerful forcefield. The Spirit Energy levels he’d soon be releasing, and seeking weren’t important, any longer. Famished, both spiritually and emotionally, Sephiroth’s will transcended beyond the need to achieve elevation into the realm of the Pure Ones. Now, his aim was to keep the sullied Spirit Energy remnants as far away from Jenova’s influence as possible, but only for the sake of protecting Cloud._

_The Shinra army didn’t understand, and there wasn’t any time. They fought against the barriers, whittling down his energy by the millisecond. Distracted as he was, there, Sephiroth felt a pull right in the center of his heart in the middle of it all._

_Cloud…Cloud was being attacked. Sephiroth knew the feeling like the back of his hand. Discarding his work in the North Crater, now, his one and only priority was to protect his partner at all costs. A risky move, and one he knew Rufus Shinra had planned extravagantly and extraordinarily well. The cruel bastard was a master organizer and brilliant strategist. Kill two birds with one stone. Summon and distract Sephiroth using Cloud, all while draining his energy…it was almost poetic justice._

_Luckily, it all brought Sephiroth close to his goal of keeping an eye on the young Ancient, as well. She was there with Cloud, and he found them both together, disheveled, languorous, and weakened. Even though he was drained, himself, he clung to Aerith and Cloud, guarding them with his life._

_By the time he’d built the enthusiasm to make the journey with the young Cetra and his bond-mate, Sephiroth wasn’t too keen on going through the motions. Stepping into a resplendent, green forest, with a gentle tug, he checked whether his two burdens were still with himself. Still unconscious, they were at least breathing, and Sephiroth led himself toward the sacred Temple of the Ancients. He noted the way he himself happened to gape at the enchanting, austere architecture and extensive gardens surrounding the building._

_A soft, apprehensive sound escaped that full, often-gaping mouth, both awed and a little frightened. Sephiroth knew however that the sound was human; not coming from the cave, itself._

_It was the young female as she peered at him, flitting back and forth between states of lucidity and delirium. She only gazed at him anxiously, remaining lucid long enough to warn Sephiroth that his actions had caused a great ripple through time and beyond, and that this wasn’t the end, but one alternate path…_

_His reactions and her hauntingly cryptic words terrified himself, but Sephiroth had to press on. The acclivity could be managed, but he had to put his energy to good use before it ran out._

_“Yes, soon, this will mark the beginning of the end,” the inscrutable warrior hissed sanguinely to no one as he resumed his climb up the shallow temple steps. Sephiroth groaned in pain when he’d almost slid down as his footing accidentally stumbled at the precise, unfamiliar sort of incline._

_At the top of the staircase, however, the broken One Winged Angel was once more gaping up at the building, itself. Namely, he was impressed by the façade-wide entryway, in which were pits of earth ringed with_ _the_ _gemmation of mossy stone. Though a polyaemia of steps remained in his wake, the plethora of jejune sensations relaxed himself._

_Everything here in this tranquil place spoke and sang of decorum and propriety. The richness and brightness of day, the muddy brown of the soil that contained many plants and trees which looked absolutely nothing like any of the local flora; all of it was a sight to behold, and not anything like the vegetation growing in Midgar due to the damage it’d suffered._

_Examining a violet and yellow striped flower, Sephiroth plucked one of the petals and held it up before his nose. The red and yellow striped ones were always venomous, but this was a thing of serenity and radiant beauty. Nothing of its kind, nor anything like the un-local flora had a chance of surviving this long out here, yet in his hands, he held some form of life…_

_Nor was this like any flora to be found elsewhere on Gaia, not for much longer, anyway._

_Once the door to the temple had been unlocked, Sephiroth sensed that Rufus Shinra and his blasted army were eagerly waiting to descend. Time was indeed running short, and as the injured warrior dragged Cloud and Aerith further into the deep Temple of the Ancients, his guilt weighed heavier than any other burden._

_Outside, a storm was brewing; a war aeviternal, unending, and so cruel unlike any he’d fought, himself. He thought for a moment about the young Shinra heir, so spoiled, so childish, and so obsessed in his quest for plenipotence. Rufus Shinra knew not what he was toying with, and though Sephiroth never suspected he would care to learn, his blood boiled like lava in his veins when he recalled how the President’s son had nearly assaulted and violated Cloud._

_If he hadn’t arrived on time…no…he didn’t dare ponder on what would happen. Right now, he needed to reserve his energy for Cloud. Plenitude and avarice were things of the past; Cloud was the future._

_With the two young Avalanche members lying on the cold, damp ground safely inside the temple, Sephiroth quickly took a moment to assess his wounds. Aspirations for healing and recovering from the pain he’d been suffering at the hands of the soul bond were long gone. He knew so as he pried back the straps of his uniform coat, exposing his alabaster skin._

_Too much blood…plangorous as it were, this was bound to happen._

_When Cloud groaned in his sleep, Sephiroth abruptly sat up, silver strands of hair falling over his eyes, which still focused on Cloud, nonetheless. The youth’s shoulders and back rose and fell in time with his inhaling and exhaling. Just the sight of that was enough of a reward for someone famished, but Sephiroth wasn’t gifted with enjoying the serenity for too long._

_Boots shifted, carrying along through the damp, stony grounds of the temple. Two red spheres flashed, and Sephiroth glanced up to catch the fleeting stare of Vincent Valentine. Somehow, as he gazed down at Aerith and Cloud, the Turk scowled. Clearly, Vincent had some doubts and reservations regarding their tenuous ‘pact’, but Sephiroth didn’t share that unsubstantiated sentiment._

_Thoughts never straying from his bond-mate, Sephiroth managed to offer Vincent a smile, which the aloof black-haired man did not return. Strangely, the longer he stood by, the more there was a sincerity in his eyes which the wounded One Winged Angel took for understanding of some sort._

_Silence and shadows permeated across the distance, and no one dared to speak. Sephiroth would have asked something, eager to be the first to break the silence, but gunfire blasting and sounding off outside warned him against doing so._

_Vincent tilted his head to the side in response, his cloak rising in the direction the wind billowed through the temple. The appearance he now took was uncanny. Neither demonic nor vampiric, given his red eyes and his pale skin. Seething there as he hovered around like a phantom, his eyes roamed once over Cloud’s sleeping form before he took a step away from the room, into the blackness of the hallway, and sequentially disappeared._

_Once again, now that he’d been left to his own devices, Sephiroth grimly hoped that Vincent would hold up his end of their bargain, for whatever it was worth. Duplicity had always seized both men, but it had no place in the calamity, currently._

_Eventually, Cloud and Aerith both roused from their unconscious state, and Sephiroth knew he was trapped. Doomed to an eternity of being on the receiving end of hatred and doubt he deserved a million lifetimes over, especially from the female Cetra, he awkwardly tried holding back on revealing the truth._

_Like a rancid, caged beast, it clawed, swiped, and gnawed mercilessly at every organ in his body, stunning him completely. Overwhelmed by the dastardly griffade, Sephiroth became quite morose when he knew that there would be no opportunity for himself to prove his own worth to Cloud, at least in words. He’d already damaged his own reputation, and there would be no damn way the young Ancient would take his words seriously, either…not that he blamed her for having doubts and trepidation._

_Black Materia was everywhere in the temple, and he feared that Rufus possibly wanted it. If the wrong hands obtained the deadly materia, then it would be all over. Still, he was ever the opportunist, and he decided right then and there that he’d allow for the young Cetra to lead Cloud to the White Materia. After all, it went without saying that she’d been seeking it out, herself, and if anyone knew of its whereabouts, she certainly did._

_Yet again, he’d been forced to suffer in silence with the knowledge that in Cloud’s eyes, he would always be a hatefully hostile, despicable, untrustworthy fiend. How could he argue otherwise? His stance and heinous reputation had been long established, and he didn’t have the luxury of time on his hands to overcome and change years of animosity._

_Rather than accepting it for himself, however, Sephiroth vowed to show Cloud in whatever way he could that he would leave him with the best possible memory of their time together. This was a sacrifice he found he could make for the youth._

_He managed to forcefully bury the smile he instinctively wanted to wear when he knew Cloud was safe. It threatened to break out, curving the corners of his lips as it went along through the motions, but Sephiroth stopped it. When he spoke of keeping Cloud safe for ‘all eternity’, he’d never meant for it to be in the possessively cruel way one would protect and safeguard a valuable tool or object._

_Cloud was so much more than that, but there was no way he could express himself. Though Sephiroth was far from intimidated, he chose to leave Cloud and Aerith to their own devices. Naturally, the young woman didn’t disappoint him once she located the White Materia. He’d seen when she’d slid it in her hair, and he followed until Cloud tried to send her out of the temple._

_He could’ve stopped them from escaping at any time, yet he didn’t. She was Cetra, and he knew that she was fearful of Meteor destroying the planet. She would dedicate her last breath to saving the planet, and it would only be a matter of time before she tore back in, fighting tooth, nail, and claw to finalizing her purpose._

_Why stop her, then?_

_As he’d been mulling it all over, a cumbersome Sephiroth weighed his own transgressions against Cloud’s. Soon, they would have to unfortunately part ways, at least if Cloud decided for it. Sephiroth didn’t feel he was ready, and no amount of time in the world would ease this painful sensation bearing down on his shoulders._

_He hated that he’d arrived at the conclusion that his life just wasn’t the same without Cloud in it. For whatever reason, the irksome adolescent was now a greater part of Sephiroth and a part of himself he didn’t want to lose and couldn’t stand being without. Regardless of what Cloud’s feelings were, this was how Sephiroth knew he felt towards his junior._

_He still wanted and longed for Cloud’s reassurance, something to let him know that he was more than just a possession to him. Even without this, Sephiroth still felt that there was no way he’d leave Cloud, now. Even more so, he wanted to become a person that could stand beside Cloud Strife, who could be a gracious asset instead of a hindrance. Someone who could support and comfort the one that he loved…_

_That was the ideal future Sephiroth had envisioned for them, but one that would never be._

_The fog in this area was now beginning to clear but the air still felt like more rain was to come and what little of the sky he could see through the trees lingering outside above the temple_ _seemed to confirm this. His mood was turning as bleak and sour as the war waging on outside. More than anything, he wished he could abduct Cloud and protect him from all this madness._

_A fleeting wish…a whim…_

_He touched his neck faintly, remembering how the sky had cleared briefly when he and Cloud parted ways in the Shinra Mansion. A sad, bitter moment, but one Sephiroth had to see through._

_The cuts marring his dying, decaying flesh had completely healed that night, and there was little scarring, though sometimes he still woke from panicked dreams where he felt his Masamune sliding through his chest. The phantom pains still lingered, but he felt true anguish at the most vivid nightmares. Sephiroth had to always suffer imagining the anguish on his own face when seeing Cloud dead._

_That wasn’t permissible, not this time._

_Sadly, interruptions came attached as the price he had to pay for his journey and efforts. Tseng, the infernal, annoying leader of the Turks had somehow made his way deeper into the temple than he should have. Sephiroth couldn’t risk having him palm around; the nosy man would greatly impede the progress he’d made, and if he called out for the new President, everything else would come crashing._

_Without thinking deeply about it, Sephiroth held onto the handle of his Masamune strongly, and in a few quick dashes of superhuman speed, he aimed and targeted for the least vulnerable spot in the Turk’s body. His goal was not to kill or brutally maim, but to slow the man down and get him out of the way._

_Though the young female ran about screaming her head off, Sephiroth still gently cradled Tseng to himself and whispered in his ear softly, “I haven’t delivered a fatal, killing blow. Your body will go into shock, soon, as I’ve punctured the lateral, lower quadrants of your abdomen.”_

_Blood gushed forth as he spoke, and while Tseng went pale in the face, he thankfully still had a strong grasp on reality._

_“I’m going to have to subdue you like this, but assistance will surely be with you…just…hang on and understand that there was no other way.” Ruefully, he finalized his guilt in the harm he’d dealt before drawing away from the wounded Turk._

_“I’m sorry.” The phrase sounded like a cantillation…_

_That was the first of the obstacles. He’d hardly exchanged a word or two with Cloud, but they’d been the most crucial ones Sephiroth had ever spoken to the blonde youth, before. He’d wanted to cradle and hold Cloud for hours on end, comforting, soothing, and revealing to him what had happened. The only words he could struggle to press out were that he hadn’t been the one who’d summoned the meteor._

_Cloud seemed to believe him, but there wasn’t time left for testing that. Sephiroth parted from his bond-mate, hoping and steadfastly wishing that someday, perhaps Cloud would understand and come to fully trust him. For now, however, they had to welcome the timely arrival of their newest ‘guest’._

_Vincent Valentine raised his firearm, and while trying to act true to his promise, for whatever reason Sephiroth couldn’t even fathom, himself, he ducked and avoided the blast. The bullet whizzed through the air above his head, alerting Cloud to the other man’s presence._

_Of course, Cloud wouldn’t allow for Vincent to end the life of his own bond-mate. Sephiroth had already foreseen such an act, but he hadn’t been able to predict his own instincts for self-preservation. He knew Vincent was equally as stymied and confused, especially when he made an off-handed comment regarding his own aim._

_Blood red eyes assessing Sephiroth seriously, Vincent was already brewing in his mind a fair enough question he had every right to ask._

_‘What are you doing?’_

_The promise had been broken; the deal was off. Compromise wasn’t even something Sephiroth was willing to consider as he shrugged off the abhorrent, abominable glares oozing forth from Vincent’s unforgiving eyes._

_Sephiroth gazed at him back, and without even saying a word, he projected in his eyes alone, ‘Just please give me a little more time with him…it’s too soon…’_

_If only he could weep. The emotions were threatening to spill over, and as Cloud placed himself in harm’s way just to protect his bond-mate, Sephiroth nearly snapped. Now, more than anything, he seriously wanted the young Cetra to get on with it and end this stupid charade. He could no longer fight, and he’d been tired of running in the dark for so long._

_While Cloud reluctantly escaped with the unconscious female, and while Sephiroth knew she could return to fulfill her duties, another annoyance got in his way._

_Sephiroth had been there when the foolish, furry creature skipped along with the robot guiding and supporting him, bouncing along the lit corridors and halls while the torches and flames burned brighter and hotter. Still, none of it vexed the feline as he sang to himself and courageously pushed onward._

_Occasionally, as the odd pair traveled, together, Cait Sith paused to hold conversation with the perturbed One Winged Angel._

_“I do tell fortunes, you know,” the furry feline happily and proudly boasted as he beat a tiny fist into his chest and mewled._

_Not impressed in the least, Sephiroth coldly drawled, “I don’t believe in fate, anymore, and I won’t advise you put your trust in such foolish ideals.”_

_Waving a finger at him, the cat admonished him sternly. “I can tell your fortune, if you want to hear it.”_

_Sephiroth never understood why he nodded, encouraging the strange animal to continue. He never should’ve entertained the damn menace, but he’d found the company charming and amusing as they solved the puzzles of the mazes running all throughout the temple, just as he’d promised._

_Chirping with overzealous glee, Cait Sith crooned in delight, “Journeys end in lovers meeting, and love you shall have, thereafter.”_

_Scoffing at the notion, Sephiroth icily dismissed it as he re-shifted focus on locating the heart of the temple. No one could afford such distractions, and although Cait Sith was in high spirits, Sephiroth himself was truly concerned for Cloud._

_“Be strong! Be strong and happy!”_

_A few times, the thick legs of the moogle slipped, and Sephiroth felt furious with himself for even allowing the clumsy oaf to go through with this. To place the bits of dangerous materia in the hands of this moron was akin to the deaf leading the blind, truly._

_Dancing a happy jig, Cait Sith sang, “I can still move, more!”_

_Following in silence, Sephiroth kept up and hung back when Cait Sith innocently hopped over to the altar bearing and presenting his prize._

_“Ahh! This must be it!” Cheering himself for his dandy work, the little hands reached out and greedily touched the deadly materia. “The Ancients sure did a great job making this, I say!” Spinning around, he chuckled awkwardly, “I can protect the planet, too! I knew it!”_

_The robot gave out a grunt, to which Cait Sith cooed, “I’m…a bit embarrassed, yes…”_

_The flames behind them flickered in warning, but Sephiroth didn’t dare interfere._

_Forcing himself to turn around on his heels, he pushed out of his ears the generous cry and childish sing-song voice of the infernal creature._

_“There’s plenty of stuffed toys like my body around, but there’s only one me!”_

_Over his shoulder, Sephiroth whispered into the wind softly, his voice betraying nothing. “You shan’t be forgotten.”_

_Dancing and leaping into the air, the moogle robotic cat chimed in with, “Goodbye, then! Guess I’m off to save the planet!” It seemed he knew his time was up, and he’d already come to terms with his untimely end._

_Unlike anything or anyone else Sephiroth had seen, Cait Sith was content with perishing if it meant something new and fresh would show up in his place._

_Footsteps moving further and further along, Sephiroth didn’t even stumble when a loud, explosive ‘bang’ echoed. The ground and walls shook, but he kept on marching, his eyes gleaming and coruscating angrily, and the fires in his heart fully stoked and ready._

_Yes, just like the last time, he’d been prepared for everything. He’d been prepared for the harshest of storms to weather, he’d been prepared for the Shinra army to unleash deadly attacks, and he’d even been prepared for facing the dire consequences of involving the last Cetra on Gaia. He’d thoroughly been prepared to answer death’s call, itself, laughing in its face, but there was only one thing Sephiroth knew he’d never been prepared for, nor could he have readied himself for it in a hundred lifetimes._

_He’d never been prepared for Cloud. Nothing could’ve helped him set his expectations and obstacles around the youth, and nothing could’ve prevented Sephiroth from understanding what new feelings birthed into his heart._

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Staring deeply into the abyss as he stood teetering on the precipice, Sephiroth felt his friends lingering closely behind himself. They didn’t breathe or move to form a single word. They were watching and waiting, curiously, no doubt betting away in their own heads what he would do, next.

And just what did he want to do?

Being the less patient one, Genesis strolled over to Sephiroth’s left side, peering down into the darkness and void space hanging below.

“How long of a drop do you think it is?” Gingerly, he nudged a small stone with the tip of his red boot, and he chuckled when it rolled off the edge and tumbled down below into the deep, dark mass.

Pressing a hand to his ear, Genesis whistled. “I can’t even hear anything…”

Choosing to join them, Angeal hung at Sephiroth’s right side, placing a heavy, warm hand over his shoulder. Drawing himself nearer, he aimed his mawkish words into his friend’s ear, a stoic, pensive expression settling onto his handsome features.

“Heading down isn’t always a bad thing, for when we fall and come crashing, we learn of our boundaries, our errors, and there’s a chance for us to ascend, once more.”

Face void of any expression, Sephiroth tilted and craned his neck down as he considered it. “Up, or down?”

Smiling, though not in a cruel manner as he once had, Genesis offered, “You know, legend has it that once, a long time ago, a powerful demon fell down below in the darkness. Before it could consume him, however, the demon peered up at the sky, and he saw both the sun and moon.”

With a satiated purr, Genesis rewarded Sephiroth with a sort of dignified, saccharine smile when their eyes met briefly. “The demon fell in love with the sun and moon. Eventually, he forgot why he was even cast down into the darkness in the first place.”

Reaching up and touching Sephiroth’s hair, he took a moment to admire the sheen of it before sliding his own gloved hand to rest over Sephiroth’s left shoulder.

“This demon swore that he would rise, again, and he’d be the one guarding the treasures he wanted to keep for himself.”

Carrying on, Angeal finished with a warm hum, “Even though the journey was perilous, and even though the demon knew he’d risk ending his own life before he reached his goal, he still spread his wings and flew off mightily into the sky.”

Pointing with a free hand at a random point in the bright sky just then, Genesis drawled in fascination as his eyebrows rose, “Sometimes, if you stare long and hard enough, you can see him reaching and flying higher and higher…”

The wind suddenly ceased to blow a gentle, comforting breeze. As the tale settled within Sephiroth’s conscience, the silver-haired warrior had to smile in languid fondness. Amused as he was, he still had his own questions and reserved thoughts.

Glancing down at his feet, he hovered closer to the edge as he wondered aloud, “This…demon…did he fear his journey, or did he willingly and blindingly accept it?”

Slowly squeezing down on his right shoulder, Angeal whispered daringly, “You tell us, Sephiroth.”

Closer and closer, Sephiroth moved. Spreading his arms, slowly, he focused on all the heavy, toxic darkness practically awaiting himself. He could hear it call out in a haunting tune, stretching out to envelope his form. This time, he would allow it…until the very last breath…

With a loud fluttering sound, his dark wing burst forth from his right shoulder blade. Hanging and jutting out proudly, with strength and might he didn’t think was possible, it flapped once, twice, and then stretched to its fullest extent. As such, the wing had always been his most capable, truthful friend, never once failing him. It gave him hope, and he turned to admire a few of the blackest feathers before they fell off and shed away to the ground.

His right leg slid over the edge, first, and as he slowly felt gravity pulling himself further in, Sephiroth turned his neck and gazed over his shoulder one last time at his companions. When he stared back at them, they both had pure white hair, and they looked weaker and older, much like when their bodies had finally started withering away back when they were suffering from degradation...

No…that was a mere figment of his demented imagination, it seemed. When he blinked and shook his head firmly, the glamor effect disappeared, and more vibrant, youthful versions of his exuberant friends remained in place.

This was how he would remember them…this was the final goodbye.

Casting a light of hope from his eyes into Sephiroth’s, Genesis nodded slowly as he proudly channeled out in a cheerful tone, “Let deeds, not words be your adorning!”

With a nod of appreciation words could never properly and fully communicate, Sephiroth took the last step. Now, he succumbed to the fall, and his wing flapped once. As he dipped himself further down and further away from his friends, he felt the warmth of their hands disappearing from his shoulders.

Strange…he wasn’t as cold as he thought he would be.

Diving and falling deeper and deeper, his eyes never grew accustomed to the darkness, but he never allowed the bleakness of it to gain the upper hand. As the wind sailed past his ears, pushing his long curtain of hair back, he plummeted further. With renewed force and energy surging from within, Sephiroth tilted his head up at the sky.

They were right; he saw a demon embracing the sun and moon, after all.

Courageously, inhaling a deep breath and holding onto it, Sephiroth tightly shut his eyes and propelled himself up before he crashed deeper into the vast darkness that was unending. Fighting against the currents, Sephiroth felt his wing taking his physical body up higher and higher.

As he rose, so did the smile on his face. Soon, it encompassed all, and as he fought the rest of the way to the surface, he was finally rewarded with the transfluent, bright rays of the sun. The familiar warmth and gleam of the cerulean sky reminded him so much of Cloud’s eyes…those eyes he would see, and sooner than later.

The wind was too deafening, but he welcomed it all the same. Potently, Sephiroth soared above, bursting through the air high above his friends. His heart was on a much higher plane, however, and while he knew he would never catch up with it, he found he was quite content with things as they now were.

Finally, he was starting to sense and see a glimmer of hope.

(***ᶲᶲᶲᶲ***)

Aerith’s prayers had contacted the planet, but Meteor was already in the atmosphere. The young woman could feel it as she rocked on her knees, holding her clasped hands in her lap.

Head hanging low, she chanted repeatedly with dejection possessing her frame and form, “Too late…we’re too late…”

Cloud simply didn’t know how to react. Above, there was a lingering darkness. First, it started out like a tiny drop, but then, that tiny drop ate away like a cancerous cell at the host’s body. It spread, becoming as large and as grand as an ocean, eating away at the sky and covering the moon clear out of view.

Throwing her head back, Aerith wept as she continuously prayed, the White Materia shining brightly in her hair. The orb seemed to have taken its own life as it gleamed into Cloud’s retinas, stunning the warrior momentarily. He rapidly blinked away from it as he then took to staring up at the sky.

Was it really too late?

Behind, Barret and Tifa were already panicking, as well. The large male held onto the athletic young woman, protectively trying to shield her from any harm while a deafening roar channeled across the sky. The ground was not only shaking badly, now, but bits of stone began cracking, while in other areas, the ground literally rose as though an enormous monster had been shifting beneath the earth, trying to break free of its confines.

The atmosphere was quite different, indeed. The air was becoming thinner, which no doubt meant that oxygen was in short supply as the meteor drew closer and closer within a deadly range.

Teeth chattering out of fear he’d never experienced, before, Cloud tried to make a dash for Aerith, but he instead flew off his feet when a large blast invisible to the human eye ricocheted into his body. The forcefield was growing stronger and stronger, wafting out of Aerith while she dipped her head back and wept at the sky.

Shaking his head wildly, as though that would somehow help, Cloud desperately cried out for her. Voice slamming and echoing all around, Cloud held a mighty, ferocious grip on the stones as he clawed to get to her.

That was when Sephiroth decided to do something. Though he still held onto his Masamune, he bent swiftly, draping an arm around Cloud’s waist. Making sure his hold was good and strong, he yanked the youth up as hard as he could. That one move alone was already wearing himself out, and he cursed his weak body for nearly failing them both.

Cloud tried to gain his balance by himself, outstretching a hand and planting it on the One Winged Angel’s shoulder. He grunted as the support of Sephiroth’s right hand on his back drew away from his form. Then, the blonde felt Sephiroth’s long arm sweep out in front of themselves.

A couple of loud crashes followed as what seemed to be thunder, though pink, blue, and bright yellow dangerously flashed across the open sky. One of the disastrous bolts crashed against a huge statue, slashing it in half. Now, it came hurtling down over the barrier, and no one knew whether it would hold.

In fear, Cloud shut his eyes and shielded himself from the blow. Snarling, Sephiroth swiped up with the Masamune, and it was a perfect, clean cut. The statue disintegrated right in thin air, and when another flash of lightning threatened to strike Cloud, next, Sephiroth hurled him away.

Tossing the young man into the air as though he weighed nothing, Sephiroth cradled the frightened male to his chest as he too tried to ensure he could stand to complete this. Flowing through the cold air with Cloud in his arms, he noticed that the shorter male only opened his eyes as he was carefully lowered downwards.

Shocked when he saw tears almost pouring from his bond-mate’s round eyes, Sephiroth found himself depositing Cloud slowly on the icy coldness of the edge of the forcefield, as far away from danger as possible.

Sephiroth didn’t understand it, at all. Cloud should’ve been livid, and he himself should’ve been angry, as well.

Only…this wasn’t about anger or abating it. This was about need, desperation, and a complex tangle of other emotions that even the broken, sullied One Winged Angel couldn’t ever begin to define.

And it was no longer about power; it was about redemption and penance. The simple dynamics that made every human relationship tick-the savage need to own, and the equally feral need to be owned, all of it was responsible for leading up to this moment.

As he stared so intensely and so long at Cloud until the young man’s form burned brightly into his mind, Sephiroth admitted that he wanted this volatile young man to mark him as his own. He wanted Cloud Strife to brand his very soul, so that tomorrow, when he faced that man he’d wronged so terribly, there wouldn’t be even vestigial traces of the conqueror Sephiroth had been all those countless, wasted years ago.

There would only be this version of Sephiroth Cloud knew and called out for; the one who was good enough for Cloud Strife, Sephiroth’s dear bond-mate, to love and cherish.

Finally breaking himself out of his reverie, Cloud screamed from the bottom of his lungs, “What’re you doing?!”

Gazing at his formidable Masamune, Sephiroth finally spun around on his heels and began making his way towards Aerith. Taking his long, measured steps, he cried back over his shoulder, “With the darkness and light in my hands, I’ll finally end it for you, Cloud.”

Almost respectfully bowing, as he dipped himself midway, he crossed his left arm over his chest and dejectedly smiled. “The only way to see this through, is to have the black mass gouged out of myself, Cloud, starting from the heart.”

“NO! SEPHIROTH! WAIT!”

The Temple of the Ancients was the Black Materia, and since Sephiroth had stayed within it and absorbed it for so long, he had one ‘piece’. All that remained was the ‘light’…

Struggling as much as his friends were behind himself, Cloud shrieked and wept, flinging all sorts of potent, chilling insults and pleas at Sephiroth. Ignoring every single one, Sephiroth’s eyes targeted the real thing he was after all along.

Aerith didn’t even move as he swooped down over her. Clinging onto her prayers and hopes, she wept profusely, voice cracking a few times. Barret fired off his firearm in several jarring blasts against the barrier, screaming until he was blue in the face. None of the shots permeated through, and he wasn’t able to do anything as he stood powerlessly next to an equally defeated, dejected Tifa Lockhart.

With heavy hearts, each member of Avalanche looked on, and time abruptly stilled.

Aerith’s nostrils flared as she wailed when Sephiroth’s shadow fell over herself, but she still didn’t dare budge from her spot. Irritated by this standoffishness, Sephiroth reached quickly, fingers latching onto the White Materia orb attached to her hairband.

Breaking out of her prayer, Aerith whined in fright, “Noooo! Don’t—”

Growling bitterly, Sephiroth wrapped a hand around her elbow, and he tugged her violently up to her feet. She didn’t appear to understand what is was he wanted from her, and she fought back stubbornly.

“Move, woman!” Ferociously, Sephiroth tried to push her away, but the errant young woman wouldn’t even step aside. He knew she would do this, and he raised his free hand still clutching the White Materia he’d confiscated from her.

Powerfully, Sephiroth pushed her away with a blast of magic, but he ensured she didn’t get hurt as he carried her off near Cloud. At once, when she was far away from the altar, every single person watching Sephiroth gasped in awe and fright. Cloud reacted much faster, charging forth at Sephiroth with every intent to get in his way.

Sharply and keenly, Sephiroth extended his Masamune, the tip almost pointing at Cloud’s neck. Though the persistent Avalanche member stopped dead in his tracks, he shook his head, the plea coursing through his eyes directly into Sephiroth’s.

Burning from within, Sephiroth exclaimed gruffly, “Don’t. Don’t come any closer, Cloud. This is your only warning.”

Stubborn as ever, Cloud refused, pushing Sephiroth’s weapon down meekly. “Please, just talk to me!”

Roaring ferociously like a bloodthirsty demon, Sephiroth ensured that his demeanor was terrifying enough to intimidate as he shouted, “I _will_ go so far as to harm you if it means keeping you away, Cloud!”

Shrieking on the other side of the barrier, Tifa, Barret, and Red soon tried throwing themselves at the transparent wall with everything they had to protect their friend. It was obviously no good, but the more they fought, the more unsteady and unstable Sephiroth’s lack of patience became.

Much to his dismay, he knew anything he was going to toss at Cloud had to be measured and calculated well enough not to harm or maim the younger man, otherwise, Sephiroth would never forgive himself.

Masamune exploding with fire when he swung it at Cloud’s feet, Sephiroth wailed putridly, “Stay back, now!”

“NO!” Retaliating quickly, Cloud fished out from behind himself, strapped to his back, his concealed Iron Blade. The materia imbued onto it twinkled, but it was no match for Sephiroth’s Masamune when the pale-headed fighter swung once more from left to right.

Though stern and truculent in composition, Sephiroth was punctilious in providing every amenity for his lover. Deep down, despite not enjoying being on the receiving end of Cloud’s ire, Sephiroth preferred Cloud living on. Even if the younger male had to despise him, it was better that he did it while thriving…

Their blades bashed together, with a hesitancy behind the weight of their bodies as they leaned their arms into the length of the handles. Sliding together dangerously, the Masamune’s and Iron Blade’s violent clash of effulgent sparks ran its course until Sephiroth nudged Cloud aside when both men were inches apart.

Blocking a speedy series of attacks from many angles with his thick Iron Blade, Cloud dove into the air, eager to knock the Masamune out of Sephiroth’s grip. Unrelenting, the One Winged Angel merely took two steps backwards to gain more distance before he flicked his wrist and clipped the edge of the Iron Blade.

As he recovered to unleash another attack, a bright blast of fire and magic shot forth, effectively creating a barrier between Sephiroth and Cloud. The shorter male rolled and fell back out of the way but had no time to recover when Sephiroth summoned more fire from within his own tortured soul to embellish into his weapon for one final attack.

Holding the Masamune down to his left hip, Sephiroth ran the blade over his right arm, first, the cut rather deep as blood trickled over his weapon. In one clean, upwards swipe, Sephiroth shot out one stream of blood and fire, channeling all his treacherous agony reserved for the world and for his own fate into the move. The chaotic line of fire and blood dashed ahead, though it never harmed Cloud, despite how close to the range of fire he was.

Blinking away his own tears for the first time in decades, as Sephiroth lowered his weapon, not even aiming it for his junior, anymore, he gave out one final plea. “Cloud…just let me do this…”

Chin quivering after he’d discarded his Iron Blade, Cloud managed to whimper, “S-Sephiroth? What—”

Holding up the White Materia, Sephiroth coldly announced, “Light and dark; I am now complete.”

Powerfully wielding his weapon in the left hand, while from his right hand, both the materia and Cloud’s bracelet dangled. Without even meeting the eyes of his lover, Sephiroth injected all the powers of the White Materia straight into himself. Aiming it for his bare chest, he groaned in agony for a moment as it weaved its way inside his sternum, birthing and enveloping massive rays of bright light on impact.

Aerith’s eyes turned pink and teary as she huddled next to Cloud, no doubt expecting for the worst to happen. Evidently, everyone else felt the same way, and they held onto their oxygen while Sephiroth’s snarls turned frantic and quite labored.

It wasn’t over, yet. Though the White Materia settled well, he gazed up at the sky, beyond the massive black hole and the winding path created through the layers of the planet forcefully to make way for the meteor to hit.

Bravely, without his hand even wavering or shaking, Sephiroth turned the sharpest point of his blade, and he aimed it for his sternum. With a pause, however, he suddenly remembered…he finally remembered…

Green eyes met blue across the room, and with a sad, defeated smile, Sephiroth wept, “Forgive me, Cloud.”


	52. Lunarian Salvation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning: Tissues recommended.

Darkness and melanic shadows overtook the expansive sky, turning it procellous. Smokey ghouls were released into the air from every corner, gliding along, howling as they dove forth at Sephiroth and Cloud. The phantom Whispers were tripling in number, targeting the two warriors as they flew around them. Rather intimidating as always, they somehow billowed through the barrier Aerith’s warding magic had tried to put up.

Potency and urgency spanned between the clusters and hordes of the Whispers. Though they never betrayed a human emotion, right now, due to their frenzied motions, as they cut and whipped about, it appeared they were irate about something quite precarious.

Before the Whispers and fate itself could convince himself otherwise, Sephiroth struggled against the oddities and ailments rising en masse as he readied his most loyal weapon and let it hover close to his heart. Locking eyes with Cloud, in a moment of perhaps regret and remorse, Sephiroth held his breath and pushed forth.

The Masamune had been brought down, and unforgivingly, it pierced right through Sephiroth’s pale flesh. This time, Sephiroth let out the haunting scream he’d held back on ever since he injected the refulgent powers of the White and Black Materia into himself. This was an excruciating pain unlike anything else, however. 

The moment the cool tip of the weapon sliced through to his ribs encasing his heart, Sephiroth remembered how Cloud had ended him the first time in such a way. Now, he was the one who’d ended it, himself.

Still, he had no regrets.

Every single member of Avalanche remained stunned. With reverent terror and shock floating through them, enough so they remained rooted in horror and awe, only Cloud was able to finally pick himself up as he ran ahead for Sephiroth.

“SEPHIROTH! PLEASE! STOP IT!!”

Wing extending powerfully, the appendage shot at Cloud when he got too close, knocking him back protectively.

Angrily, Sephiroth bled out his emotions as he wrenched the Masamune deeper and deeper, carving the way right into his heart. The concerted effort to safeguard the planet and the future had never been so great, before, and it all poured directly into his soul.

When Cloud’s fingers stretched towards the lengthy weapon, Sephiroth shot his partner a petrifyingly serious glare. “DON’T TRY TO INTERVENE, CLOUD!”

Pain was a foreign concept to himself when he could hardly even understand how he’d bellowed the command. Gazing down at the clear puddles at his feet, Sephiroth wasn’t too taken aback by his reflection. Uniform sullied, tattered, and filthy, eyes dark, sunken in, and misery had been etched everywhere on his person and fetid clothes.

Yes, he appeared as human as the rest of them, finally.

Weeping uncontrollably, the stubborn, former infantryman argued vehemently, “Nooo! You can’t! You can’t!”

Regardless of whatever his bond-mate was weeping out, Sephiroth had already concluded that this was the end of it. Bearing down his hand to ease the rest of the Masamune’s journey, he allowed it to sink into his putrid flesh, only releasing his hold when he felt his heart exploding. Internal bleeding wasn’t something he could worry about, now, and he cast his eyes at the sky.

At once, an ethereal force unlike anything ever witnessed and experienced before sprang right out of the center of Sephiroth’s chest. Brighter than the day, harsher than the profulgent rays of the sun, and far more demanding than any other element in the planet, it sailed across through the air as it targeted the meteor. Orange-red lasers shot forth all around the deadly object meant to end all life. Sephiroth was summoning them all one by one, and it was far too much to handle for his body.

Normally, only an Ancient was capable of such power, and it was far beyond Sephiroth’s comprehension. He tried to channel the radiance of his power as best as he could, and he held onto the surge of faith that it was slowly pushing away and totally decimating the meteor. As it called upon the well-guarded, dormant forces of their planet, Sephiroth’s body became the vessel for the greatness.

A conduit and a channel for the wrath of Gaia’s Shadow and all its mysteries, as the life surged from within, it slowly lifted Sephiroth off the ground, causing him to levitate while the rays and threads of light surrounded his form. It all sank into his back and shoulders, while the thickest, strongest blast of light continued to pour right out of his heart and into the sky.

Rising a few more feet, Sephiroth suddenly gasped, eyes wide as he focused on the true beauty of the face of the moon. It beamed back at him, and as he pictured Cloud’s smiling face gleaming down at himself, there came a loud explosion as magic and radiancy emanated from Sephiroth’s form.

His own screams disappeared halfway through, mixing somewhere with Cloud’s. Yes, Sephiroth had to admit that he was frightened, but he wasn’t afraid of death and reaching the end. No, he wasn’t even afraid of tossing away his own consciousness into the Greater Lifestream and allowing the planet to become one with it as it surged and rushed to cast Jenova away…what Sephiroth was mostly afraid of was the transformation.

The astronomical, planetary changes stirring and rising within himself were much too grand to be competed with or pushed against. There was no fighting this elevation, and it was something akin to godhood, yet not in the same vain as he’d dully assumed.

Perhaps it was best to remain parvipotent as he detached himself from his psychalgia.

Even the Whispers ceased howling, and they immediately backed off Sephiroth as their dark robes fluttered around their forms, much like tendrils and putrid tentacles. Perhaps what he’d done gravely affected them. Retreating, like a whirlwind of defeat, they swept through the sky, dissipating and diffusing among the chaotic rage reigning in the sky.

Clinging to the last vestiges of his sanity, Sephiroth brushed and propelled the energy radiating from himself forth, and he watched in zeal as it beamed into the meteor, blasting it away. It shredded and practically dissolved the deadly rock with great ease. As though it were a tiny speck of dust floating above in the atmosphere, bits and pieces dissipated miraculously as though they’d never even existed in the first place.

So, this was what it felt like to watch something so vile and corrupt break apart…the magnitude of the situation relieved himself and brought some well-deserved satisfaction for Sephiroth. That feeling should’ve never been there to begin with, especially when he weighed the Masamune deeper and deeper into his reviling flesh.

Under the pressure, the muscly organ writhed in pain, and Sephiroth pierced it through slower and slower…the more he stabbed himself through, the louder the tearing of fabric sounded in his ears. Only when the Masamune pierced all the way through did the confounded sounds come to a halt, only to be replaced by Cloud’s cries of terror.

But the metamorphosis was too great to ignore. To expiate himself for having beguiled and betrayed Cloud in the past, he was willing to suffer.

The transformation had been chilling. An impious shiver ran down Sephiroth’s spine as he recalled how completely Cloud’s terrified face had changed after the One Winged Angel’s sharp blade had opened the world before his last powers. No mortal could suffer to stand such a deadly blow, and logically, Cloud had feared his lover dead at that instant.

The young man still wished to save him, too, but then the howling wind took over. It seemed to sweep out and hurtle the light and darkness pouring out of Sephiroth, liberally and effectively channeling it to the last bits of the meteor. The explosions were too great to count, and it was as though hundreds of fireworks had gone off. No doubt, all of Gaia would be able to see it wherever the animal and human population stood if they looked up.

Screaming through the precarious remainder of his pain, as soon as the white-hot flash of power was finally coming to an end, Sephiroth’s blood began spilling like a fountain. His wounds were catching up, and this time, there was nothing left to be salvaged.

The lights grew dimmer and dimmer, signaling that it was over, finally. Sephiroth’s wing gave out a spasmodic, uncontrollable jerk, perhaps in mourning for its owner, or perhaps it had meant to give out whatever else it could to aid in the destruction of Meteor.

As they all stared up expectantly at the night sky, they found to their amazement and dazed states that the quasar had disappeared, rapidly closing and burrowing back wherever it’d originated from. The bits of rock and meteor were now gone, and in their wake, tiny, scintillating stars twinkling brighter than any diamond rose.

The planet was peaceful…the planet had been saved…everything felt as calm as it looked, and a serene blanket seemed to encase everyone and everything. Above, nothing except a calm, tranquil, starry night sky bore down on them instead of the looming threat of danger and destruction. Just the silence of the night reminded them all that the shackles of the deleterious and ruinous evils had now been cast away.

Eyes wider than saucers, Sephiroth huffed a labored breath, slowly descending down to the earth, once more. Misery and agony took over, the blinding pain glaring so fiercely that it became unbearable for himself. Slumping forth as the Masamune stuck through his chest high in the air like the mast of a flag, the wounded man rolled over backwards and fell to the ground in a blur of motion. As the blackness swarmed over his eyesight, what Sephiroth had been able to focus on was the panic and pain thriving out of his young lover’s face after that.

Cloud swiftly moved to catch him before he risked bashing his skull onto the stones, and as he re-shifted the fallen angel, Sephiroth got a better look at his handsome features. Even the eyes had seemed to change color, going from Cloud’s usual, mako-flecked blue to a dangerous cobalt as they focused on the silver-haired warrior’s rapidly growing wounds and thick puddles of blood rising all around. Cloud’s lips moved as he screamed wailed, and while Sephiroth could make out half the words as his vision blurred gradually, he felt reduced in every way.

Cloud loomed over him, and while in the past, such a shift in position would’ve been grating and vexing for Sephiroth, right now, it felt perfectly soothing. Sephiroth feared the changes within himself, but once that change had come over Cloud, making him seem far more mature and grown in spirit and strength, Sephiroth concluded that he might just as well have been a toddler, for all the effect Cloud had over his psyche and nerves.

How beautiful it was to see someone who showed so much promise finally expand in prowess and rise…

Blinking back warm tears that poured from his own face, Cloud sniffled while Aerith gazed around, reducing the power of her barrier. As soon as the magic had been lifted, Tifa, Red, and Barret rushed towards the stunned Cetra. Tifa gathered the young one in her arms, while Barret raised his firearm at Sephiroth.

Urgently, he growled, trying to form the words to ask Cloud to move, when Red gently raised a paw and prodded the enraged Avalanche member with his limb. Barret broke out of his incensed state, and he sadly gazed down at his feet. Cait Sith lingered close by, and he softly held onto the robot supporting his weight while a truly forlorn expression worked itself over his face.

A large, chubby teardrop crashed onto Sephiroth’s cheek as it left Cloud’s chin and splattered onto the silver-haired male’s icy skin. Smiling weakly as he tried focusing on Cloud, Sephiroth found that he would not want to face death in any other way. With Gaia’s help, he’d never have to. Tightening his hold on Cloud’s hand, the moment he had, it frightened the youth.

Leaping as he hiccupped from mild shock, Cloud then firmly returned the grip as he gently touched Sephiroth’s forehead and cheeks. Brushing his partner’s hair out of his face, he tried to ignore how much blood had already been pooling around Sephiroth’s frame, making the ground turn blacker than coal.

Snarling away with her own angry cries, Aerith hissed something out, but Cloud didn’t pay it any mind as he loyally never left Sephiroth’s side.

Sephiroth couldn’t fault her for still holding hatred and doubts. Cetra were meant to guard the planet, after all, and yet, that was the problem with their kind. So often, the unthinkable occurred based on their heightened emotions, though it didn’t always end on a whim.

Cloud’s hands cupped his face, shaking him lightly. Through that minor motion, Sephiroth’s body was visited with traces of warmth…the very last semblances.

“S-Sephiroth? Sephiroth? Y-you’re…oh god…” Blinking through fresh rounds of tears, Cloud’s right hand slid away from Sephiroth’s cheek, and instead, it fell through the limp wing resting on the madid floor stretched out behind the wounded, weakened warrior.

Lightly tapping the feathers and ruffling them while his shoulders heaved up and down, Cloud again tried to move his bond-mate. “H-hey…it’s g-gonna be okay, r-right, Sephiroth?”

Blood already rising in his throat, flooding his lungs, Sephiroth coughed as he struggled to push words out and make himself clear one last time.

“As much as I’ve l-lied to you in th-the past, Cloud, th-this time, I cannot do such a thing to you.” Almost shrugging while his head lay draped across Cloud’s lap, he supplied additionally in a baneful murmur, “My t-time is over.”

When Cloud leaned in closer to him, staring him down as if challenging his senior to a duel, Sephiroth’s heart was set aflame again with passion.

For as savage and wild as this was, it was still love. Sephiroth felt as open emotionally as he was, physically. Every time the memories he’d created and shared with Cloud slammed into his mind with all the weight of his happiness behind as impetus, their eyes would meet, and a bridge would be formed between their very souls. Grunting and crying out at the force of the impact, Sephiroth melted inside.

“W-wait…” Holding his right arm up, somehow, even though every inch of his body burned, Sephiroth managed to gently work off the band of the marble bracelet and gently nudge it towards Cloud. The agony transformed into equally piercing delight when he caught Cloud’s trembling hand, forcefully wrenched it open, and dropped the bracelet there.

Eyeing it as he whimpered and wheezed, Cloud shook his head as he tried returning the bloodied bracelet to Sephiroth. “N-n-no! I don’t—”

Rearing up, Sephiroth gripped the youth’s arm, and even though Cloud’s fist was clenched, Sephiroth again worked it open and made sure Cloud held onto the bracelet. Their eyes bore into each other, and their souls had finally blended.

His eyes wide open, his face twisted with god knew what emotions, Sephiroth saw himself in the tiny black mirrors that were Cloud’s pupils. Through the world undiscovered within them, he also knew the adolescent with a strong will was seeing himself mirrored in his own gleaming eyes.

At that moment, they were each other; two sides of the same coin, one soul existing in two bodies. There were no barriers, no yesterdays, and no tomorrows. There was only the present time; this intimate knowledge of death in life, and pain in pleasure that would transform them the way childbirth did to women.

And then, there was the other kind of power to contend with, the kind that was sparking around them like a quickening. This time, Sephiroth knew it wasn’t just his imagination. Every time he allowed Cloud’s emotions to bleed into himself, blinding flashes of electricity radiated out into the air around Sephiroth like capillaries shooting out from a vein. The fallen angel could almost smell the sulfur as the sparks faded.

Adrenaline, fear, and desire combining, Cloud squeezed his eyes closed to shut out the disturbing sight of those lightning bolts, concentrating on the equally devastating, internal blasts.

As he looked woefully at the fallen man sprawled on the floor, practically wallowing in his own blood, his heart weighed heavier, almost choking Sephiroth with it, as well. They could both feel each other’s pains and frustrations, but unlike the past, there wasn’t anything they could offer each other in the way of comfort.

For his own part, Cloud wrapped his heavy, weary arms around his collapsed lover, closed his eyes, and held on with desperate tenderness as he waited for his world to stop spinning. As they held onto each other like that, Sephiroth gently grunted as he drew himself back, trying to get Cloud’s attention. When the blonde peered at him through his heavy tears, Sephiroth weakly smiled.

Wheezing like a dying creature, Sephiroth pulled his gloves off and dropped them at his side. Reaching across the space between them, he caressed Cloud’s cheek lovingly and ran his thumb back and forth across the smoothness on his flesh. The young, feisty Avalanche member closed his eyes and leaned into his lover’s soothing touch.

Holding onto the bracelet as though his life depended on it, Cloud opened his madescent eyes and stared dead on at Sephiroth. His tears were halted, though only for a brief second before he tried clinging to his bravery.

Almost sniffling, Cloud ardently confessed, “I love you.”

“I know you do,” the older male said finally, nearly weeping when he heard the words he’d been aching to hear for weeks. “I…I’m happy to know of your feelings, Cloud. That’s why I…h-had to…d-do this…th-this w-was the only way I c-could protect you…t-to end this nightmare.”

As he’d been stuttering away, Cloud whined childishly in a broken tone, “Y-you c-can’t leave me a-alone, Sephiroth!” With the tip of his nose pink and his nostrils flaring, Cloud carried on in a shrill cry, “I w-wish I could’ve d-done something! Why didn’t you let me?!”

Losing energy rapidly, Sephiroth had no choice but to pull his hand away and smile sadly at his young partner. “If I a-asked you…not t-to involve…yourself, Cloud, your…a-answer w-would be ‘no’…right?”

In reply to this, Cloud frowned, brows furrowed, and he angrily bit the insides of his cheeks hard enough to draw blood. For better or worse, for the sake of the fallen man softly breathing while he held onto the last threads of consciousness, he was committed to this path of his journey.

Trying to still his mind, Sephiroth lay there, attempting to synchronize his breathing to Cloud’s. He wished the night would never end, that he could spend eternity under the loving weight of that warm body lying half on top of himself, breathing in the lingering, gamy scent of Cloud’s essence and natural body odors so he could truly die a happy man.

The tears streamed down the youth’s face in full, but he stirred and scowled at the Masamune still deeply embedded within Sephiroth’s flesh. Lunging at it, he carefully ripped the sword free, and for a moment, Sephiroth hissed in pain from the abrupt scission. As soon as the blade clattered to the ground, however, there was relief, there.

Cloud could see the old Sephiroth in those ivy eyes gazing up at himself. Something had indeed changed. This was the Sephiroth he’d loved, the one that he would love, forever.

Sephiroth grew colder against his touch, and Cloud was only forced to stare back helplessly, unable to move as he watched the emotions within his lover’s eyes morph. Eyes that had once been so bright and full of life were now almost lifeless. Those eyes had lately been full of kindness were now fading…

Weakly, Cloud writhed on his knees, his frame shaking in anguish as the blood dripped from the blade lingering nearby continuously. The bowels of the earth quaked, almost as if mirroring the grief he felt with every fiber of his being.

Why did life have to be so cruel?

Shoving and shaking his bond-mate when Sephiroth’s eyes nearly shut, Cloud’s own vision had grown obscure due to the fat teardrops spilling uncontrollably. “S-Sephiroth, g-get up! Please g-get up!”

This was only a tiny wound Sephiroth could recover from! Why was he lying still?! Why wasn’t he trying to move?!

Wailing, he begged and cried, “PLEASE GET UP!” Every limb and muscle twitching and shaking as though thunderstruck, Cloud sobbed heavily, “You said—ugh! Y-you s-said you’d always be w-with me!”

“That…I did…” Turning his arm up and catching Cloud’s chin in his grip, Sephiroth offered him a pained grimace of a smile. Leaning up slightly with every bit of energy he had, Sephiroth hummed deeply. “We have…ah…little time l-left, Cloud. I d-d-don’t…wish t-to…spend it…in this…w-way.”

“But I don’t—mmph!”

Sephiroth closed the distance, sealing it all with the soft pressure of his cold lips slanted against Cloud’s. Due to his loss of stamina, the gentle embrace lasted a few seconds before Sephiroth pulled himself away and lay flatly on his back. Dizzy and pale from his tremendous blood loss, he only let out a raspy chuckle as he stroked Cloud’s cheek and traced the outline of his bottom lip with a few fingers.

Through that one kiss alone, Sephiroth’s strength had returned, but it was temporary as the life source slowly was dwindling and leaving himself, once again.

“You brought so many new things into my life, Cloud, and that’s something I will forever treasure.” Sephiroth’s serene warmth and radiance beamed forth beyond his smile, potently riveting through Cloud as they lay slumped against each other weakly.

Shifting as much as he could to cup Sephiroth’s cold face, Cloud whimpered brokenly, “N-no, Sephiroth! Don’t talk like th-that! We’ve still got lots of time!!”

As hurt as he was, Sephiroth remained calm as he continuously smiled a most innocent smile depicting nothing but love and trust for Cloud.

“I’ll never forget the face I made when I was laughing and smiling,” he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut slowly. “For the first time in many years, I saw myself genuinely laughing; it’s a face I’ll _never,_ ever forget.”

Cloud had wept many times before in his young life. Seeing and hearing the state of his hometown burnt to a crisp, as his young friends and closest neighbors ran screaming and wailing in terror had brought to himself the first, fresh tears of his youth. Learning of his parents’ suffering and torment as Nibelheim burned away, leaving its timeless ashes trailing in the wind like an afterthought left the youth with sleepless nights, his plangorous tears never ceasing to roll down his cheeks. Since then, it’d been loss after loss, and pain after pain, again.

Losing Zack had been like losing a piece of his soul, and Cloud had gone through that twice, now. Maybe he wouldn’t ever recover, but over the harsh months and extremities he’d suffered through, the former Shinra SOLDIER had made his peace with his fate. He’d come to terms with the fact that his suffering knew no bounds. That was easy to tolerate, but losing Sephiroth, his bond-mate, his lover, that wasn’t something Cloud was able to stomach, let alone even ponder.

Rocking Sephiroth in his arms, while Cloud wept, a most serene, ethereal glow rose from Sephiroth, enveloping both men as they were sprawled on the earth. The light danced around them, bouncing and ricocheting off every corner before trapping itself only around Cloud and Sephiroth. The rays grew more potent and quite effulgent, vividly lighting up the temple and nearly blinding everyone within it.

As he was rocked in the youth’s arms, Sephiroth hummed the familiar old tune he’d always been heard humming. Cloud listened to it for a moment, and since he knew the notes quite well after having heard Sephiroth singing and humming them for so long, he joined in.

Soon, it was off-tune and pained, but Cloud kept it going, not even noticing as Sephiroth’s energy was drained, and his humming was dying down.

Finally, Sephiroth cracked open an eyelid as he weakly purred, “In…saving…you, I saved myself…a-actually, I guess you saved…me this…t-time, Cloud.”

Bitterly frustrated with the graviloquence, Cloud argued, “I didn’t do anything, I’m—”

Sephiroth again silenced him as he leaned up and pressed a soft kiss onto Cloud’s right cheek. For Sephiroth, it was the same place and the same innocent kiss Cloud had first given him on the night they spent together in the fields and meadows. Their first kiss…

Cloud understood the meaning and purpose behind it as his eyes widened dramatically. Draping a hand over the spot Sephiroth had tenderly kissed, he quivered all over as he searched Sephiroth’s tired eyes.

Those powerful arms encircled the weak man bleeding out on the ground, but Sephiroth lazily smiled as he played with a few of Cloud’s hair strands. Tugging the ones he could reach, he panted out a few labored breaths as his tortuous vision grew darker, this time. His last conscious awareness was that of Cloud’s lips serenely kissing the same spot on his right cheek.

A kiss of farewell…now, he could rest at ease, knowing that their bridge to the future was intact.

“You’ve…gotten…stronger…Cloud…”

He didn’t know how, but somehow, the events of this night left Sephiroth feeling freer than he had in years, if not, decades. It didn’t make sense, but he felt changed inside, subtly altered, like somehow, all those old guilts and misdeeds he’d cruelly carried out through his lifetime had abruptly been wiped clean. Puzzled over the strange phenomenon as his eyelids weighed shut, blackness overtook all forms of consciousness, and Sephiroth fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Limply falling, Sephiroth’s head heavily lay utterly still in Cloud’s lap. The blonde scrambled to press a hand down over the gaping, sanguiferous wound in Sephiroth’s chest, and when his palm connected with the older male’s flesh, he felt the heartbeat there give out one final throb before it stilled, completely.

Something shattered. Cloud didn’t even scream, nor could he weep, anymore. Though he’d cried and sobbed enough, tonight, he genuinely couldn’t remember how to even sense the pain and immeasurable grief, this time. The only thing he did was hold onto the bracelet, fingers running over the spheres and marbles. Counting them had never been a habit, but as he gazed emptily at Sephiroth’s motionless body and his pale, death-stricken face, he started counting.

When he counted down to ‘one’, running his fingers through Sephiroth’s damp, silver hair for the last time, Cloud then gently placed the deceased warrior’s head onto the floor. Shifting his Masamune to lie over his chest in a horizontal position, the young, grief-stricken man finally departed from his lover’s side.

Slowly rising to his feet, he turned himself about, ticking through the numbers in his head. A collaboration of his own voice along with Sephiroth’s chanted out in his mind, and while he’d heard it, before, this time, Cloud wasn’t as eager to push it out of his mind. Now, he welcomed it with open arms.

Walking past his friends while they stood vigilant in the background, Cloud froze only when he saw two brightly beaming red eyes. Through the darkness, they seized the young Avalanche member, rendering him incapable of movement for a moment. Standing equally before the tall form of Vincent Valentine, Cloud bowed his head respectfully.

The older man with dark hair that was long and unruly stared back in silence for a few seconds. Cloud coldly took a step forward, but he didn’t particularly care when Vincent didn’t even shift aside half an inch to make room for him to pass through.

Obstinately, the young, mako-eyed ex-SOLDIER braved on, but as his back barely passed Vincent’s side, that was when the strange man began speaking.

“He was no hero; he won’t be a martyr.”

Resisting the urge to scream a profanity at this vulgar utterance, Cloud merely held steadfast as he aimed to be mature, wise, and calm as opposed to childish, impetuous, and degrading. Sullen as he was for the loss he’d suffered, he coolly rolled his shoulders back and stood as tall as his height would permit.

With a morbid heaviness in his heart he knew would haunt himself for some time yet, Cloud firmly ground out without wavering or stuttering, “I don’t care. Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not. Still, I want to remember him as someone I cherished, and I don’t want to bicker about it.”

Not even bothering to stick around and observe anything else Vincent had to say, Cloud disappeared far from view. One by one, his friends followed suit, silently trailing in his footsteps until they were far out of sight.

Once alone, Vincent turned to the front of the large room, eyes resting over Sephiroth’s corpse. It lay there, unmoving, gentle, yet not peaceful. Great darkness and loss wavered and wafted above in the air. Though invisible to the eye, the presence and emotions lingered momentarily as they settled within Vincent.

Zeroing in with mild fixation on the feathers of the once renowned SOLDIER’s wing slowly withering away and disintegrating to dust and powder, Vincent seemed partially content…for the time being. Drawing in the sight of the fallen angel vividly in his mind, he threw his shoulders back while lowering his face inside the propped-up collar of his vermillion cloak.

Not even blinking and batting an eye, he venomously snarled, “If such a place should exist, then I’ll see you in hell, demon.”

Only silence screamed back at him, the putrid essence of it all seeping darkness from the ground up. The planet moved through time, recovering and healing as it should have, and the necessary order of things had once again been returned to a state of normalcy.

With a crude scoff, Vincent too flitted away, the ruby color of his cloak matching the blood drawn all over the dark, cold floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As bleak as things look, we still have another chapter to go, and I promise this story has a decent ending.


	53. An Untold Reunion

**EPILOGUE**

****

“Cloud! Wake up! Wake up! Come on, you lazy sleepyhead!”

A gentle, yet persistent pair of warm hands shook him quickly. Groaning and moving his placid limbs, Cloud’s eyelids fluttered while he felt the strong rays of the sun bearing down over himself. Through his heavy eyelids, he could see how hot and bright it was, already. With the warmth of such a serene sunlight cast over his bleary form, like winter snow and ice melting, Cloud felt revitalized and rejuvenated.

Turning to the edge of his bed, he grinned when he found Tifa looming over himself, hands clasped behind her back while a jovial smile painted her beautiful features.

“Cloud! The day will be wasted if you stay in bed!”

“Mm! What time is it, Tifa?” Rolling over onto his stomach, the desire to sleep a little longer was far too tempting, but he knew his childhood friend wouldn’t abide by it in the slightest.

Giggling while she thought about it, Tifa then hummed in unctuous amusement, face drawn in pleasure and a mix of lightheartedness. “Hmm, I think it’s about time you got your sleepy self out of bed and joined us for breakfast!”

Swatting Cloud’s back playfully, she energetically added in a sing song tune, “Elmyra’s cooking up a storm downstairs, Cloud! Hurry!” With that said, she ran out of the bedroom, her soft feet padding across the old floorboards.

With a soft sigh emitted, Cloud shook his head and finally reared up from the bed. Legs dangling slowly over the edge, he stretched them, and then his arms as he yawned. Cracking his knuckles and neck gently, he winced at how ‘old’ and ‘stiff’ he sounded. Reminding himself to do more exercises later, he pushed aside his sheets and made the bed quickly.

Tifa was indeed right; the smell of bacon and other delightful meals was wafting all about the place, immediately causing his stomach to grumble in pure want. Petting his belly with a tiny snicker, Cloud yawned again while he stood before the shiny mirror in the small bedroom.

Eyeing himself up and down, he flashed a smile that was all white teeth while taking off his long, dark shirt and getting ready to swap it for his most comfortable sweater. When his smooth flesh was revealed before the clean length of the mirror, Cloud leaned against the glass, eyes squinting as he studied his left arm.

Only a mere trace of his Geostigma remained. It wasn’t even larger than a quarter, at best, but he still chose to cover it. As far as anyone else knew, the vile mark had long disappeared, and he vowed to carry on with that pretense for as long as he could.

Rapidly dressing, Cloud slipped into his boots, last, and he bounded down the steps of Aerith and Elmyra’s home. So much color and vibrancy had returned, here, and he was grateful it’d been preserved and untouched. This place truly lifted his burdens and spirits, and he couldn’t have asked for a better place to stay.

As he landed on the main floor of the abode, he heard tiny growls right by his feet. Red balls of fur dashed about, and Cloud had to laugh happily as he peeked down.

Red’s tiny litter of furry cubs nibbled and clawed at Cloud’s boots, one cub in particular taking a keen interest in trying to piece together the workings of the laces. Snickering as he bent and scooped the small animal off the floor, Cloud rocked the young one in his arms before Barret and Marlene charged down the stairs.

Pausing only briefly before Cloud, a bubbly Marlene pleasantly gleamed and greeted, “Good morning, Cloud!” The effervescent girl was off in a flash, then, leaving her father unable to catch up.

“Marlene! Honey! I know you’re hungry, but god damn, would you—” Trying to catch his breath, Barret winced as he cried, “Would you give daddy a second, sweetie?” Huffing out of breath as he chased his energetic daughter with a white comb in his hand, Barret paused for a moment to wave at Cloud.

“How ya doin’ merc?”

Abruptly, Cloud handed the cub over to the muscly man as he sang out in glee, “Gift for you from Red, Uncle Barret! Enjoy!”

“Oy! Don’t you dump them onto me, merc! The hell’s wrong with you?!” Sputtering as he tried holding onto the squirming cub and simultaneously catching up to his daughter, Barret began shouting and throwing a little fit.

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes at the humorous sights and sounds, Cloud then sauntered into the kitchen as he offered Elmyra a warm, strong hug. She hadn’t been expecting it, and she yelped in shock as she tried balancing a plate of buttered toast in one hand, while in the other, she held a bowl of freshly picked and washed berries.

“Oooh! Cloud! Would you please place these on the kitchen table, sweetie?” Untying her clean, white apron from about her waist, she sighed as she muttered, “I didn’t ever imagine I’d run a bed and breakfast, one day!”

Saluting her happily as she approached, a cheery and obsequious Tifa chirped, “Appreciate it all the same, Elmyra.”

Nodding in agreement while Barret struggled in the background to get a cub off the leg of his pants, Cloud placed the bowl of berries onto the table as he the nudged Tifa. “Wanna go get Aerith?”

Pouting playfully, at first, Tifa then purred, “I wanted to play with the cubs for a bit! Can’t you do it, Cloud?”

Cloud chuckled, reaching over into the hall and fetching his Buster Sword as he stated, “I’ve got something to do real quick before we eat, so you best go on ahead, Tifa.” As he turned and flew out the front door, Tifa stomped her foot roughly into the floor in a minor show of moodiness.

Huffing, she shouted in annoyance, “Always running away, Cloud Strife!! Come back quickly, _before_ breakfast gets cold! You hear?!”

Chuckling amicably, he waved her off in a playful manner. Cloud then leapt energetically on top of a black, large motorbike he’d parked outside Elmyra’s front yard. Turning the engine on while he strapped the heavy weapon onto his strong back, he tore off quickly, his destination already appearing before himself. 

In no time, as the dust and dirt flew over himself, with the wind brushing back his golden hair, his heart soared in both rapture as well as sank in deep sadness. Slowing the machine down, Cloud shook as the potent purring of the motorbike rocked his body up and down. Over small hills, dips in the gravel and soil, his journey had been paved.

Soon, he slowed his motorcycle down, the path consistently traveled now laid bare. His eyes were surveying the expansive area, and as he shut the engine off and got off the bike, he instinctively held onto his Buster Sword tightly.

This was a journey he would make, time and time again. These empty, dead landscapes that stretched on for miles and miles weren’t the most welcome of sights, but they were familiar. They told the tale of two friends, both utterly suffering from despair at the hands of all the treacherous turmoil they’d been forced to unjustly endure.

A deep sense of longing had been what enabled the friends to survive and endure. The will to live and the will to sacrifice threaded and bound them together, ensuring their struggling had been rewarded.

One friend showed promise, however, and due to his strong will and incorruptible nature, he fought to the end for his companion. No state of lowliness could ever destroy and keep the bond between two friends from each other, and the thread of destiny and time wove to form the unbreakable, unforgettable memories.

This had been proven…right here…on this soil.

Cloud buried the Buster Sword deep into the gravely earth as he leaned on the handle while scanning the horizon. As he’d dreamed of many times, he’d been standing here overlooking the Wastelands of Midgar, but never alone. That had been before he learned not to fear the dark.

A large, dark wolf usually eyed him in the distance, glowing eyes set on his frame, though non-confrontational. The aloof animal never drew close to him, though it always seemed to reserve a special place, here. It served as Cloud’s companion, and as they kept their distance, they learned to respect each other.

Grateful he’d made the trip by himself, he held in his heart one final prayer of goodbye for Zack Fair. Through memories, perhaps, they would maybe become a part of each other. That all remained to be seen, but for the first time after many long months of hardship, Cloud Strife began looking forward to the foreseeable future with the rays of hope in his heart unwavering and unerring.

The wind billowed around his body, picking up momentum before it caressed his sandy-colored locks of hair and grazed his scalp in a delightful way. As he inhaled the oxygen deeply into his lungs, he heard the soft rattling and clinking of beads sounding behind himself. Gaze lowering, he lazily turned his neck and smiled fondly once the first bright beam of light bounced off a few relucent marbles.

Rose and vanilla. Scents he’d become far too comfortable with hit his olfactory bulbs. Stomach dancing and twisting in pleasant knots, Cloud’s flushed face fell into a charming smile. Overtaken with familiar happiness warm as the sun he was standing beneath, he became one with the pleasant emotions as he enjoyed every second that ticked by.

Almost instinctively, he reached into his left pocket, languidly withdrawing a tiny, golden and yellow flower. Inhaling its beautiful scent as he held it up to his nose, he shut his eyes, fondly recalling that this little flower always symbolized a reunion of lovers.

Finally, after turning himself completely around, he smiled even wider and more passionately as the natural, innate reactions broke out all over his heart and soul. Riding their voracious waves, he held his head high and proud, welcoming the new future with a distinct sheen in his eyes that depicted the highest level of rapture and glory.

Once more, his eyes fell to the tantalizing marbles, and he saw how every single one of them radiated his own reflection smiling back up at himself. Cloud nearly wept for joy once he saw that magnificent black mass of downy feathers he’d dreamed of touching again for many long nights.

Cloud’s vision ravenously sought out the divine emeralds never failing to shine so divinely for his own viewing pleasure. Within their depths, he discovered solace, comfort, and above all else, he’d found a home.

“Good to see you, Cloud.”

**_~END~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, this actually isn’t technically the last chapter. There will be a long Q and A as well as where I obtained a lot of my sources for research, so stick around!!


	54. Q+A

**Author Notes/ Q &A**

I just wanted to start this out by thanking everyone for reading this work and being so dedicated and devoted to it until its completion. It goes without saying, but I’d like to emphasize that readers honestly hold a lot more power during the production of a fanfic than they know. A lot of your words do mean a lot to me, personally, and while I can only speak on my own behalf, I still am quite confident that a lot of other authors totally share my opinions, as well.

I know I’ve been uplifted and had quite the fire going to last me weeks whenever someone would comment, so thank you all for taking time to do that! You’d be shocked to know that words do help, and the ones I’ve received (even constructive criticism/advice) were always a blessing.

I’d also like to start answering some questions people have had, not just in the later chapters of my work, but also way back in the early stages of this story about Sephiroth’s true motivations, the soul bond, and just what the hell was going on with Sephiroth.

I totally can understand the need to ask a lot of these questions, and I definitely understand how the plot still may not be easy to grasp for some people. This is a long story, and it takes time to read it all and dive into it, and I don’t fault anyone for maybe missing some of the cues and hints I dropped now and then, so I’ll just answer the most commonly asked questions I’ve come across.

If there are any you feel I missed or if things are still unclear even after you read this, feel free to ask away and I’ll do my best to clear things up!

  1. Was the bond really causing for Sephiroth to change his personality/behavior towards Cloud?  
\- Yes. I think it was touched upon especially when Sephiroth’s POV kicked in, but the soul bond drew in Cloud’s ‘purist’ soul and memories, and infected Sephiroth through their link/bond. Think of it kind of like Schrödinger’s cat. *If you don’t know what that is, I highly recommend looking it up, because it’s too lengthy for me to get into right now *.



Schrödinger’s cat was a famous thought experiment, and building off from it, the logic applies to Sephiroth. Sephiroth’s power is a self-awareness so acute that he can project himself in other people’s minds, surviving over the years, even in the story of Advent Children. Sephiroth’s ability to ‘recognize’ his own existence and live beyond the boundary of mortal life is powerful, but it has limits which he was borrowing from Cloud since he was already ‘dead’ and in the North Crater. I think he can only project himself into a limited number of minds at once due to being weakened even by Jenova’s essence, and that was the main plot of my work. When Sephiroth linked himself with Cloud, his consciousness dissolved into Cloud’s, and it spread itself too thinly and conflicted with Cloud’s pure nature in order to bring our favorite One Winged jerk back to life. In a sense, Sephiroth _was_ corrupted by Cloud, but also saved in order to do what he did in the end of my story.

Thus, Sephiroth was influenced majorly by the bond, even though he ran around many times saying it didn’t affect himself a lot, but we all know how honest Sephiroth has been throughout the Final Fantasy series.  
  


2\. How was Sephiroth brought back and alive?

-Again, it’s a case of Schrödinger’s cat. What Sephiroth’s powers boiled down to was what was stated mildly through implications by his own words: Sephiroth is everywhere, yet he is nowhere, meaning he can’t really die since he doesn’t technically exist. At least…not completely.

Cloud was supposed to be his vessel and bring him back 100%, but because Sephiroth was ‘tainted’ by his own feelings for Cloud due to the bond, he never went through with that plan. Because of the nature of the Schrödinger’s cat (look it up) someone needs to observe the cat for the phenomenon to kick in. For a while, that was working for Sephiroth, and that’s why he grew more powerful whenever Cloud was near or thinking of him, as perpetuated by the bond and its pull, but over time, because Sephiroth didn’t use Cloud’s powers to absorb the Greater Lifestream or Cosmos stream, Sephiroth wore himself down and was ‘dying’ out at least in the sense that we normally associate death with.

3\. Were there multiple Sephiroths?  
-No. Sephiroth didn’t ‘clone’ himself in this story, anyway. All the ‘projections’ of Sephiroth were mainly borrowed from the Final Fantasy remake. Clone or puppet ‘27’ was just a more successful one Jenova mainly planted because Sephiroth had already bonded with Cloud and was separating himself from Jenova. Basically put, Sephiroth was trying to re-establish his own powers and identity independent of Jenova, and being the parasite we all know Jenova to be, in order to consume Sephiroth’s powers as well as the entire planet’s, Jenova lived on through puppet/clone ‘27’ by mimicking Avalanche’s and namely Aerith’s and Cloud’s memories of Zack in order to get closer to the group.

4\. What was Sephiroth’s goal/motive?  
-Sephiroth wanted to initially access the Greater Lifestream or the Cosmos stream, at least in my story. I don’t know what Square has planned for Sephiroth, personally, but I think the idea of Sephiroth deciding that he is better than sailing the darkness of the cosmos with Gaia as his vessel is one we need to explore since the remake’s ending. I have a vision that Sephiroth genuinely wants to ‘upgrade’ the planet and save it from Jenova tainting and messing it up due to the fact that this alien parasite does this and wiped out the Cetra this way. However, I do NOT think Sephiroth is doing this out of the kindness of his own heart.

I’m all for a ‘good guy’ Sephiroth who redeems himself, but this wasn’t meant to be that type of a story because it’s way too out of character for me. I don’t believe that Sephiroth was even doing that in my story, not at first, anyway. He only started acting more like Crisis Core Sephiroth _because_ of his bond to Cloud and because as I explained in the other answers, Cloud’s pure soul had been the reason for the purging of ‘evil Sephiroth’, for lack of a better term.

Sephiroth thinks highly of himself, still, and in his own mind, he is bettering the planet because he knows he can’t win against Cloud. Yes, this is a post Advent Children Sephiroth who knows he can’t do anything to win against Cloud. Sephiroth has conceded to that. However, as he changed his plans into not so much becoming a ‘god’, he still wanted to in many ways absorb the massive energy of the Greater Lifestream for himself, quite selfishly. But, since Jenova’s essence was still lingering and tainting it, he needed her out of the way, and thus he started seducing Cloud for his powers to be renewed.

5\. Were Cloud’s experiences real, or was he affected by the bond as well?  
-This was mainly asked because a few people pointed out that in relation to Cloud, the members of Avalanche were acting a bit ‘harshly’ towards him. I can agree with that and understand it, but I have solid reasons for why Avalanche acted differently towards Cloud.  
  
One important reason to remember and consider is that Avalanche has suffered badly because of Rufus’ father, former Shinra President saying in the remake that Avalanche was responsible for terrorist activities as well as consorting with Wutai to bring the Empire down. If it were myself, I’d be a tad threatened and watching my back, as I wouldn’t know when to expect an attack, nor would I feel I could trust anyone, for a while.

  
Secondly, since Biggs and Jessie were lost in some way, there was lingering PTSD and trauma everyone alive still suffered. I tried to keep this story realistic in these terms, as it’s been noted several times that in Advent Children, Cloud especially is suffering mildly from depression and PTSD. I just think Avalanche was suffering that way, too. After everything they’d been through, seeing Cloud flying off the handle, talking to himself, appearing distracted during combat, having bad dreams, not being able to sleep, and snapping moodily at everyone else was too much to take and out of sorts, really.

But no, I do not think they were being mean. Since this story is mainly told from Cloud’s POV, any crass and harshness we see is a bit due to an unreliable narrator, and while mainly open for your own interpretation, my stance on it is that you can totally assign any feelings you want to it.

6\. Did Sephiroth really love Cloud?  
-This is a tough one to explain, but I’ll try to be brief, because I think I did answer it at one point in a comment, unless my memory sucks ass.  
Short answer, yes. Sephiroth genuinely did feel whatever he thinks is ‘love’ for Cloud, and Cloud obviously returned those feelings in kind.  
  
Long answer, due to the bond, if it never happened, no, I don’t believe Sephiroth and Cloud would’ve fallen in love on their own. I’m all for enemies turning into lovers and friends, but Cloud Strife and Sephiroth have so much of a convoluted, dark history between themselves that I don’t think it would ever work, nor would the relationship be healthy.

  
No, I don’t think Sephiroth is necessarily abusive. I just think the relationship they have is mostly competitive in our game and movies, filled with hatred, and the desire to be vengeful, at least from Sephiroth’s end, anyway. Not the best recipe for establishing a long-lasting lifetime together, and that’s still here in my work. Sephiroth even kind of thinks about it and facetiously ponders to himself about walking around Midgar holding hands with Cloud, going on vacation to Wutai and basking in the sun, etc. It’s just silly to expect that, at least in a serious work like this one. Cloud and Sephiroth have years of animosity brewing between them, and even if (for the sake of being comedic, here) they went to ‘therapy’ or redeemed themselves etc., I just see them more saying ‘goodbye, but leave me the hell alone’ faster than they would be together.

  
Not knocking on the ship, I’m just trying to seriously explain how I interpret it. 

7\. What is Cloud’s sexual orientation?  
-I’m all for ‘whatever you want it to be’, but in this story, bisexual with a strong preference for women, because Cloud has been seen multiple times thinking to himself that it’s only Sephiroth he feels this attraction for/to. Moreover, I think the idea of a bisexual Cloud Strife is freaking amazing and should be explored, more.  
  


8\. Is Sephiroth dead?  
-I can’t say and it’s because I’m not sure if I’m ever going to write a sequel for this work or leave it be. I personally like ambiguous endings, and since the remake’s obscure ending left me with more questions than answers, I chose to go down that same path, haha. Feel free to interpret it any way you wish, though.

9\. Why didn’t Sephiroth just tell Cloud near the end of his true plans to save him and Gaia?  
-Easy answer: Because Sephiroth knew no one would believe him. I’ve even been asked why we never got Sephiroth’s POV until the ending, and it’s mainly because of a case of Occam’s razor, for the most part.

It helped push forward my plot, I wanted to save the ‘best for the last’, but like I said, I don’t think Sephiroth could go to Avalanche and Cloud and reveal to them his plans and have them say: Oh okay, dude, cool! We were worried for a moment there that you wanted to totally annihilate everything and everyone in sight!

In what world would that happen? Lol. Sephiroth was ‘stuck’, and I believe the man would like to ‘show’ more than tell, honestly.

10\. What the hell was Zack?  
-Simply put, an unfortunate ‘clone’ or memory brought back to life by Jenova through Sephiroth’s powers passed on in the Lifestream to Jenova, but also an extension of the real Zack Fair’s memories. The imprint of Zack on Gaia and in the timeline of the game greatly provided opportunity for Jenova to warp and manipulate things. This isn’t unheard of for Jenova to be doing, seeing as Jenova tricked a lot of Cetra into believing they were interacting with long lost loved ones and such in order to draw their energy and basically take whatever it/she needed from them.

It sucks putting it this way, but Zack (as we know him) was not at all in the story. Hints were dropped here and there that something was wrong with him anytime he interacted with people. A few readers cleverly caught onto it, but I had to be very quiet about it until the very end. It hurt me a lot, personally to write about Zack only existing as a memory and due to the same old theory of the thought experiment and the cat, he wasn’t existing in the way we think.

Here’s to hoping however that this shit doesn’t happen in the second installment of the remake (cries like a child).

And finally:

11\. What is the soul bond?  
-The best way to explain is that the soul bond was a form of magic the Ancients practiced and perfected, especially for a defense mechanism after Jenova began unleashing her terror everywhere.  
So how does the soul bond protect against Jenova? Since Jenova was known to take in the traits of its/her prey and absorbed the memories and forms of Ancients, hiding as their loved ones to destroy them, the Ancients soon were running out of time. They didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t, so channeling a magical bond that only they themselves knew how to work and mesh with was their last defense. Yes, it still was a ‘marriage’, but also a deadly weapon to keep ‘imposters’ away from the Ancients.  
  
Jenova obviously had no way of attacking and assuming the forms of victims if they recognized each other and lived on in their souls/memories…but at first. Unfortunately, as many Cetra were already wiped out, it wasn’t too long before the bond failed even them.  
  
As Aerith tells Cloud many times throughout the story, the soul bond is extremely dangerous when one is NOT Cetra, and since Jenova especially finds the soul bond repugnant, Sephiroth, through sharing Jenova’s cells, was horribly affected by the magic he didn’t even understand, and it weakened him through time in every way.

Background Lore

There’s a bit of H.P. Lovecraft and Plato behind the influence of the ‘Formless One’, the ‘Pure Ones’, and ‘Gaia’s Shadow’.

Plato wrote in the _Republic_ that everything in the world is composed of two things; substance, and form. E.g. if you have a simple concept of a circle, you never encounter a perfect circle in nature, as Plato wrote and expounded on in the _Critias Dialogue_ , we can imagine the idea of a perfect circle easily. So, we have an idea, and the physical ‘matter’ of ‘stuff’, if that makes sense.

Plato argues that these ideas really do exist in a metaphysical sense (although he never used the word metaphysical, as that would be Aristotle!).

With that idea of perfect beings existing, though not in OUR world, Sephiroth, an omniscient being already sharing Jenova’s DNA, has already some link to these perfect beings. Knowledge gained in the Lifestream opened the door to that ‘portal’, if you will, and his ultimate goal is to use the planet, the Greater Lifestream, and Cloud in order to become strong enough to take the planet and invite the ultimate Formless One into himself by using Gaia’s Shadow as the ‘antibody’ to balance it out, for lack of a better word.

This is such because Sephiroth is always after more power, but in my story, his main motives hinge on the purpose of bettering himself and ascending so he can be strong and receptive enough to commune on the same level as a Formless One.

It’s kind of like: to talk to a god, you must think like a god, and you will then become a god.

There is also the matter of Sephiroth trying to be ‘perfect’ in every way possible, as he was trying to do even in the original game. The Formless One and its lesser beings, Pure Ones, aren’t exactly ‘pure’ in the notion of purity and cleanliness as we imagine from a bodily ideal. We can ascertain that the process of ascension to this form would be quite different to the status of a ‘Pure One’, one in which begins right after ‘death’ from the material world.

Yes, I realize I just said a lot of weird shit right there. But what am I actually talking about?

Note back to Sephiroth’s concept of the ‘Formless One’, which is described as such: ‘Lacking form, the Formless One exists only in voice, a voice which Sephiroth had heard since his childhood.’

The language use here is ironic if we think of Plato and Lovecraft. We DO mean a form. The Formless One has a form, we just cannot see it, and neither can Sephiroth, yet. In Lovecraft’s works, there are a lot of references to otherworldly beings and dimensions that coexist with our own, yet we’ll never see them unless we gain some knowledge or ‘insight’.

We can describe perfect representations of the Formless One even on Gaia, but they are mere representations and without the matter of the Formless One…

To try and paint a genuine image of this, the best I can describe it is if you think of everything aligning as such: Picture all of the powers the Greater Lifestream holds, and then imagine it all coming together to form a ‘perfect circle’. The Formless One is that perfect circle the Greater Lifestream channels.

The essence of the Greater Lifestream or the Cosmos stream is literally the Formless One. The Formless One is a god of the Lifestream, if you will, and Sephiroth is constantly seeking a way to have audience with it.

I mentioned concepts of Lovecraft being my inspiration for Gaia’s Shadow and the Formless One, and here’s where this ties in. If you’ve read Lovecraft, and even if you haven’t, I’m sure you will be able to read up on Azathoth, an important Outer God. Azathoth, aka the Blind Idiot God, is still an omnipresent god though he does not interfere with anything, much like the Formless One. These entities just exist, and influence the world, but not through intent.

Azathoth is derived from Azazel and Azoth, the latter being another term for ‘Mercury’. Azoth, interestingly enough, resembles the Hebrew ‘Ein Sof’. Ein Sof, referenced in the Kabbalah, is understood as God prior to any self-manifestation in the production of any spiritual realm.

Taken straight from the Wiki: “The Zohar” explains the term ‘Ein Sof’ as follows:

“Before He gave any shape to the world, before He produced any form, He was alone, without form and without resemblance to anything else. Who then can comprehend how He was before the Creation? Hence it is forbidden to lend Him any form or similitude, or even to call Him by His sacred name, or to indicate Him by a single letter or a single point...”

We can argue that the Formless One is almost doing the same; it isn’t identifying itself as an entity, at least not to anyone other than Sephiroth, and this eldritch, arcane truth is driving him insane.

This Formless One is present in the corrupted Lifestream, tainted by Jenova, which Sephiroth wants to get rid of, elevate the planet so it is deemed ‘worthy’ of communion with the Formless One, and he can then summon it as it exists in the universe.

The Formless One is the perfect circle and the cosmic idea of one at once, which is why Sephiroth wants to go beyond the status of a Pure One (after he uses both Cloud, as well as Gaia’s Shadow). As long as the vile impurity (Jenova) has been stripped, Sephiroth will continue to take in essence and the ‘perfect’ essence of the Greater Lifestream, all so he can contact the Pure Ones and seek the Formless One.

The Formless One, in my story, anyway, is the Cosmos. It is the omnipresent, existing being that runs throughout everything. It’s as close to a Christian, Abrahamic version of ‘God’ as we can get.

Now, what the hell is ‘Gaia’s Shadow’?

Gaia’s Shadow is a kin or brethren of Gaia. It’s kin of the cosmos existing parallel to the planet. There should be an acknowledgement of the balance of power between Gaia’s Shadow and Gaia itself. Gaia’s Shadow has the ability to shift and morph every power and presence or happening on Gaia, kind of like the Whispers and the Arbiters of Fate in the remake. It is exactly what the name sounds like: a ‘shadow’ and one in which the Ancients probably did NOT contact and seek out due to Jenova’s influence in wiping them out.

Gaia’s Shadow is a being I derived from reading Lovecraft and I based it off Nyarlathotep. The son of Azathoth, he was essentially a god who used humans and paid attention to them for his own gain, which is somewhat a thing Gaia’s Shadow is doing as it tries to trick Sephiroth into communion.

This celestial entity running parallel with normal Gaia is quite powerful, and we can again see why Sephiroth would want his hands on it.

However, since we know the Lifestream is sullied, since we know that the Formless One is actually not a very ‘friendly’ entity, you can argue that Gaia’s Shadow is actually not a ‘darkness’ or a shadow in the bad sense of one. In fact, I argue that it is like an anti-body for helping the planet, and not necessarily trying to destroy it as Meteor would when it impacts and releases the Cosmos stream.

Sephiroth needs Gaia’s Shadow for his own ‘strength’ to be able to withstand communion with the Formless One and its lesser beings, the Pure Ones.

Hope this makes sense, but if you aren’t a Lovecraft fan, then I know this is all a bunch of mumbo jumbo, and feel free to ignore it. I will include sources though, because I seriously actually put in a lot of research for my plot that isn’t 100% Final Fantasy related, but hell, that’s the beauty of fanfiction writing and universe creation!

I think that should about answer everything, but like I said, if you have more questions, lay them on me! I love answering as many as I can, but above all, I hope this story was enjoyable and pleasant to read.

Cheers.

Sources:

Plato, The Dialogues of Plato, vol. 3 (The Republic, Timaeus, Critias) [1892]

https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Azathoth

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ein_Sof

https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Nyarlathotep


End file.
